Back in the year 1910 a bunch of stuff happened that Mob couldn't focus on right now.
How could she? She was dying. She had been bleeding since early that morning. There was blood coming from her privates and it wasn't stopping, if anything it was getting worse, and she knew that if this kept going on she would be dead soon. She had used up a whole roll of toilet paper and ruined two pairs of Sho's shorts….and she would have to buy him new ones before she died….and she just…she had to do so much before she died! She had to….to tell him that he was the best little brother ever…and she had to say goodbye but…but she couldn't say goodbye. Not to him and not to anyone because….well they would start asking questions and she didn't want to answer any questions.
There was blood coming from her privates, which were private, which meant that other people did not need to know about them.
She certainly wasn't going to go talking about her privates to her brother, her dad, or her friends. Not even her best friend. She wasn't going to tell anyone about this because….then they would know. She was dying. She was losing all of the blood in her body and….and she didn't know why. Well she did. She had asked Google and Google had said that she could be hemorrhaging or her kidneys could have had stones or she could have had cancer…and also….also she knew that it was none of those things. She knew how this had happened.
She had done this to herself.
She had touched it too many times and she had broken it and now she was bleeding to death. If she told people about this, about how she had….about how she had blood coming out of her privates, then they would not only know about her privates but they would know what she had been doing. She had never touched them before, not outside of taking a bath, and…and she had done it because it had felt good but…but now…well she had done it wrong or too many times…or maybe she should not have been doing that at all….
Because she had broken it.
She had broken it and she was dying and…and she was all alone! Even though she had spent the day with her friends she was alone. Even though she had spent the day watching Frozen with Minegishi and then having a cake party with everyone else…..she was still alone. She was dying alone. She was dying alone even though she was sitting next to dad watching a documentary about Japan at the turn of the last century. This was such a dad movie. This was about learning and factories and war and…and dad was enjoying himself. He was holding her and…and he loved her and…and even with her dad right next to her she felt alone. She was alone.
She was dying alone.
"Do you want to watch something else?" asked dad. His arm was around her. She was resting her head on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. She could feel him breathing. She could feel them and he just had to remember….to remember him as he was. Remember him being the best dad in the world…even though he wasn't much of a dad. Even though he smothered her all the time…like now. She wasn't breathing….well she was….but he held her so hard….but she should have been happy that….that he wanted to be with her….
Before she died.
"No. I'm fine." Said Mob. She wasn't fine. She was bleeding. She had touched herself too many times and now she was bleeding. She was bleeding into a bunch of folded up toilet paper, her underwear, her bathing suit, a pair of Sho's jeans, her long nightgown, and her sweater. It was hot. It was hot but she had to have all of these layers on. She was hot sitting there under the blanket in dad's arms. She was hot and…and she was not fine. She was hot and…and her stomach hurt and…and she could not cry. She could not just start crying.
She had to stop crying.
She had been crying on and off all day. Sometimes they were sad tears and sometimes there were angry tears. Anyone would have been crying sad or angry tears if they had been in her place. Anyone would have been ready to just lay down and cry…but she couldn't. If she started crying then dad would have been worried. He would have worried and…and he would have started asking questions and…and if he asked questions about this, about what was wrong, then he would know…and she would have died rather than have her dad know about…about what she had done. About the amazing thing that she had figured out this amazing thing that her body could do…and that she had either done wrong or done too many times or…or maybe she just should not have been doing that in the first place. She should not have been touching herself in the first place and now….
Now she was bleeding to death.
"Alright then…but tell me if you want to change the channel. I can tell that you're distracted." Said dad. Why did he have to say that? What made him just…well of course she was distracted! Of course she was distracted from dad's boring documentary! He….he had no idea that she was bleeding and she could not tell him but….why did he have to say that?! She….what did he even care if she was distracted for? What made him care about anything other than…than her bring with him?! Just…this was Netflix! If he thought that she was so distracted then…then he could have just…just paused and then rewound the show! Because it was Netflix! And also there were no channels! They didn't watch TV with channels because dad hated ads and so did she! And…and she just…he didn't….she stayed calm.
She had to stay calm.
"This is Netflix. There are no channels." Said Mob slowly. She was not going to make the few moments or hours or days she had left with her dad being all upset and stuff. She had to be ok. She had to make them ok. She just…she wanted to scream and cry at the same time…and he would have felt the same way too if he had been in her shoes…socks…bloody clothes…or whatever. She didn't know. She just…had no idea….she just…
She wanted mom.
She wanted mom back. Mom…mom was her mom and…and at least she would have known what to do…or something. She didn't know. She just wanted to know…blood eventually stopped. All blood eventually clotted. That was normal. She didn't have hemophilia. That was something that European royals had. She was not European or a royal. She was a normal….well normal-ish….Japanese person. She didn't have hemophilia just…she had a cut so bad that her blood was never going to clot and…and there must have been some way to have the bleeding stop. Mom would have known…or at least she could have talked to mom. She was a girl and mom was a girl. They were the same and…and maybe this had happened to her. She…..well Mob had no idea if mom had ever done the same stuff that Mob did when she was all alone….but she just…she knew that her mom had done the thing with dad, that was how they had gotten two kids, so she knew about privates and stuff since she had made people with hers and…and mom had also changed her diapers and given her baths when she had been a baby…so it would have been ok to talk to mom about this…
But she didn't have a mom anymore.
She just had a dad and dad…..he was a boy and he…he could never know about this. He was a boy and…and she was not talking to a BOY about her privates! Not even her own dad! She just….she was never talking about this to a boy. Not to dad or to…well Fukuda was a healer and he could heal anything. She had seen him use his powers to regrow entire eyes when the Awakened's game of chair jousting went VERY wrong. She knew that he would have been able to heal her and…and he was gone and also…also even if he had been there then she never would have told him about this. If she told him that she had broken her privates by touching them then he would have thought about her privates and how she had touched them…or he would think that she had been doing things like that with boys….and she hadn't ever done anything with a boy! She had kissed a boy, once, when she had been nine and…and she hadn't ever done anything and….and it wasn't fair! The way he thought about her….it just wasn't fair!
Everything about life was so unfair.
"I'm sorry." said dad. He was sorry…he finally says sorry and it's about…about NETFLIX?! He was sorry about Netflix and not about being a jerk to Sho…and about how…how he had been a jerk to her when she had been little…and how…how he had let mom leave. He had just let her walk out the door and he hadn't found her even though he had teams of people who went out looking for espers and future Awakened…but he just…he had all of these people and all of this money but he just…couldn't find mom….not only that but he had just…let her go….
And he was sorry about Netflix?!
"Don't be sorry just don't say that." Said Mob. She was not going to let herself get mad at him. So Netflix was the thing that he was sorry about…this was dad. This was dad and she knew him, she knew that he was weird, and she knew that there was no way for him to stop being weird. She didn't want to think about this. She wanted…she just wanted to sit there with her dad until he fell asleep…but she would stay awake because….because she was losing a lot of blood and….and her blood wasn't infinite. She couldn't just find a potion or a heart or a mushroom and then just get more health….she only had so much blood and in her sleep….the blood still came in her sleep….and she could have died in her sleep from lack of blood….
Also she could bleed on the sheets again and maybe dad would notice….and nothing good would come of dad noticing.
"I…apologize." Said dad. He said it again…and all she had asked was that he not say that again and…and she was just…she was going to stay calm. She was not going to spend her possible last night on Earth with her dad being upset. She had spent her maybe last day on Earth with her friends and it had gone well so….so her last night on Earth with her dad was going to go well too. Sho may have been gone…and she missed him so much….but at least she had dad. At least she had one member of her family. Sho was off with Fukuda and mom…well mom was off to parts unknown….but at least she had her dad. At least half of the Suzuki family was together and….and soon it would only be dad and Sho and…and Sho would be alone with dad…
But Shibata said that he would raise him…so at least she had gotten that in order.
She had thought about leaving Sho with Shimazaki but Shimazaki would not have been a good parent. He was more of a friend. Shibata at least sort of tried to get Sho to be good. To make him eat his vegetables and take his baths and do his homeschool work. Shibata was the best person to raise Sho and…and she had gotten everything in order….well she had gotten Sho in order….and Sho was the most important thing, no, person in her life…and…and someone would take care of him….and she had made arrangements…
Which was more than mom had done when she had left.
"Dad." Said Mob. She said it sort of meanly but…but he was being annoying. He could be so annoying sometimes…but she would sit with him until the very end. She would stay with him until the very end and…and the end was coming and…and at least she was with someone who loved her….and at least…at least she was making plans. She had found someone to take care of Sho and she had done all the laundry and she had written down how to make all the stuff that mom had taught her to make…and also the stuff that she had learned from YouTube….and she had at least planned….
Which was better than just being gone one day.
But…well to Sho…she would just have been gone one day but…well her body would be there and dad would have told him that she had died, and not that she had run away or something, and then…and then Sho would be sad and alone and…and at least he would have their friends and….and mom…had this happened to…no. She had Fukuda for a friend and he would have fixed her up even if it was embarrassing and…and she had no idea why she was even thinking about mom….
Mom had left her years ago. Dad may have been a jerk but at least he had stayed with her.
"I apologize again….and I apologize for apologizing." Said dad. Mob wanted to take her pillow and put it over dad's face until he stopped saying things…but that had been beyond mean. That had been the worst thought that she had ever had about her own dad and…and she loved her dad. If she had to spend her last night with someone then…well Sho was gone…and Minegishi would have been upset if she disrupted their sleep by bleeding all over their bed and also possibly dying…so that left dad. That was…she loved her dad so much and…and he was the best dad that she had ever had in her life…because he was her only dad…but she loved him and that was what mattered.
"No…I'm sorry. You're my dad…the best dad that I've had…and I love you." Said Mob. She spoke slowly and calmed down and…and now dad's aura was flaring. She could see it and feel it. She lifted her head up from his chest and looked at his eyes. His pupils were small. Something was wrong…and she had to deal with whatever was wrong and…and she had to help him. While she was alive her job was to take care of her family. Her job was to take care of dad. She did a good job. She did a better job than mom ever did….because at least she was going to stay with him until the very end.
"Ever had? What makes you say that?" asked dad. Mob took a deep breath. She wanted to drink or smoke but Minegishi had told her time and time again about moderation…and if she was going to go then she would go without making Minegishi upset. They'd had a very good day today and…and she had to go sometime like everyone else did…and at least she had died having fun with her best friend earlier in the day and…and that was…not something that she was going to ruin by not using moderation like they asked her to.
"Just that I love you and that you're the best dad that I've ever had." Said Mob. She took his hand in hers. He was still looking at her with his pupils all small and….and he loved her and she loved him and….and she had no idea what he was so worried about.
"….do you have any….memory of having another father?" asked dad. Mob…had no idea what he was so worried about and…and she just did not have the energy to deal with this right now. Like Minegishi had said a million times before. She was just too tired…and that might have been the blood loss…or because it was almost midnight….but she was too tired to deal with dad being weird and also if he felt like being all…like himself.
"No dad just…no. Sorry just….no. You're my only dad and…it's just a saying." Said Mob. He didn't know every single saying. He knew a few but not all of them and…and she didn't feel like siting up all night teaching him every single saying…even though she should have. She was his Daughter but she was also his partner in their family, too. He had said that they were partners, teammates, and her job was to take care of him and their family. That was her job as the only girl in the family. Mom was gone and now she was mom and…and she had to take care of him but…
But she was just too tired.
"Oh. You know that I'm not good at those." Said dad. He had said that he was bad at something and…and that was good. They were making progress and…and she maybe should have just…made more progress with him. Maybe she should have just stayed up until the very end teaching him how to be a normal person. Then he could have been a better dad to Sho and a better friend to Hatori and…and a better President of Claw and….and a better king of the world when he became the king of the world and…and her whole life she had thought that she would live to see all of dad's dreams come true…
But now she wouldn't.
She had spent her whole life hearing dad's stories about how great things would be when dad ruled the world. How great her life would be when she was a princess of the world, not that she wanted to be, but that had been…she had always imagined growing up. Finding a boyfriend. Getting married. Having babies. Being able to just…be happy all the time. Being able to spend her whole life with her friends and her boyfriend….and their kids…and she had never even asked Hatori out or kissed him and…and she wished that she had listened to Minori and just asked him to kiss her and…and be her boyfriend because…because now that she was dying….she knew what she was losing and…
And she loved him….she knew that now.
She loved him and she wished that she had told him and…and it was too late for all of that now. No. Now she just…she just needed to sit with dad and….and dad loved her and she loved him and, ok, she would never have a boyfriend or know what it was like to have someone love her and also she would never grow up and have a son called Shigeo and a daughter called Shoko, because Sho was the best little brother ever, and also if she had another boy she would call him Souichirou because she loved dad and….and she wanted…she just wanted to grow up! She just wanted to grow up and have a family and live the life that she had been promised! The life that dad had been promising her for as long as she could remember!
But she wouldn't have that life….and that was….it was what it was.
"I know….and I'm sorry that I got upset. I love you…I love everything about you…and I just….I'm going to miss you when I'm gone." Said Mob. She laid her head back down on his chest and she would have kept it there if dad hadn't lifted her head. He still had that look in his eyes and she had no idea what he was even thinking about. He was dad and…and she loved him the very most out of everyone else in the world but…
But she just wanted to enjoy what little time she had left with him.
"Daughter…you will never leave me." Said dad. Mob…she wanted to tell him that when he woke up tomorrow she would most likely have lost all of the blood in her body and her spirit would have passed on. She wanted to warn him that this was probably his last night with her. She wanted to tell him that it had been good, and also bad, being his daughter. She wanted to tell him a lot of things…
But she didn't want to tell him that there was blood coming from her privates so she decided to tell him nothing.
"I…will never leave you. I love you." Said Mob. She had told him a lie….the first lie that she had ever told him and…and she felt bad. She felt gross. She felt like….well like she felt like now. She felt like her whole body was covered in blood and…and she shouldn't have lied to him but…but lying was better than telling him the truth. She would not have told anyone the truth….even her own little brother.
"That's right. You will never leave me." Said dad. He was rubbing her hair now. He had let go of her face and he was rubbing her hair and…and she just…she loved him and she wished that she had never lied to him and…and her eyes were wet and prickly and….and she hadn't drank anything or smoked anything and…and her powers were making the lights flicker and the TV go to bars and the curtains open and close….and now dad's aura was on her….and now he was going to kick her out and tell her that power was nothing without control…and stuff…
"I…I'll always be here for you…" said Mob. She didn't want to get lectured and kicked out. She didn't want to be alone. She wanted to be with…she wanted her whole family but….but mom had left years ago and Sho was off with Fukuda and…and she just…..she just….
She felt dad's hand on her back.
"Daughter. You're upset. Explain." Said dad. Mob wanted nothing more than to tell him that she was dying. She was eleven years old and she was going to die. She had only kissed one boy in her whole life and she was going to die. She hadn't even gotten her little brother something for his birthday but she was going to die. She hadn't even gotten Shimazaki a birthday present and she was going to die. She hadn't even tried green milk and she was going to die. She was….she wanted to tell dad she was dying…but she couldn't tell dad that she was going to die…because then he was going to ask why and…and he could never know about this since he was a boy, her dad, and….and if he had been mom then she could have said something….but he wasn't mom. He was dad and….and dad could not know. Nobody could know. She just…she wanted….she wanted her family back before she died but….but mom was gone and dad….dad was there but…but Sho was gone and…and she wished that she had said more to him before he left. How she loved him. How she could never have imagined a better little brother than him. How even though he felt like he was someone who was born wrong, he had said that so many times, he had been born more than right. He had been born her little brother….
She wished that she could have…have said more to him or…or told him to stay because….because she missed him more than anything!
"I….I love you and…and I want Sho to come back…but he's not here and…and I want him back." said Mob. Dad rubbed her head. She closed her eyes and let him rub her head. She felt him use his powers. She didn't know or care what he was doing. She just closed her eyes and…and focused on his breathing and his heartbeat and…and that he was there. That he was her dad and that he was alive and…and that she was alive right there with him…
For now.
"There." said dad before he kissed her head. He kissed her head nine times, because it was lucky, and also because she had told him that she didn't like long head kisses. She had no idea what 'there' had meant…and also she knew that she should have been annoyed by all of the head kisses…and she knew that dad….that dad loved her more than anyone else and…and she knew that she had been all alone…in her heart…but dad was right there. With dad being right there then…then she was not alone.
She was warm and safe with him right there.
She was so safe and warm that…that at some point she had closed her eyes, well they had been closed, but she had forgotten to open them. She had forgotten to open them and…and he had closed his eyes and had forgotten to open his and…and then with both of their eyes closed they had forgotten to put the next episode of dad's documentary show on…so the TV had gone off. The TV had gone off and that had been their main source of light…so that meant that when Mob next opened her eyes she had opened them in the dark.
She was alive.
She had let her aura flare….and that had made dad stir…and dad stirring meant that he was there with her…which meant that she had still been alive. She had been alive and…and wet. The wet feeling was there, well if had been there all day…but now it was worse. She got up slowly. She would have to change again. She would have to get out of bed and change again and put in new toilet paper….or maybe paper towels would have worked better….but then she wouldn't have been able to flush them…and she had no idea how she would explain a bunch of bloody paper towels in the trash to dad if…if she woke up again tomorrow morning….
So she would have to get out of bed.
She had no choice at all but to get out of bed and….and leave dad behind. He was on his side, now, but as soon as she untangled herself from him he went back to laying down on his back. He….he looked like he was dead when he slept like that….but he was alive. She could tell. She just…she wanted to come back to bed and…and just sleep next to him but….but his sheets were white. His sheets were white and that morning she had washed them because she had gotten blood on them…and he might notice tomorrow if there was more blood and also….also losing mom must have been so hard for him. He had promised mom forever and she had promised the same and…and he never talked about her but to say that she was a traitor and that they were never to talk about her…but it still must have been very hard to wake up and find her gone…
It had been hard for her and Sho.
So she just….she would go back to her own bed. She would go back to her own bed…and she would put on tights, too, because she had already ruined enough pairs of Sho's pants, and she would just…lay down in her own bed and wait for tomorrow to happen. Maybe she would wake up and maybe she wouldn't. She didn't know. She felt like Rose when she was floating on the door. She could only wait. She would wait to live, wait to die, or just wait for an absolution that would never come. She didn't know. She knew that….everyone who had ever lived would die…and a person died every two seconds…so she would die one day too. Lots of people died. The people in the show that she had been watching with dad were all dead. 1910 had been over a hundred years ago so they had all died by now and…and they had at least seen a lot happen….more than Mob had seen happen….
At lot was probably going to happen in 2017….too bad Mob was going to miss it all.