The whole world had gone crazy.
It was the only explanation. Big sis was bleeding, and not just a little bit but a lot, but everyone else was all worried about breakfast and hiding in bathrooms and-and-and picking out clothes! It was crazy! Everyone loved big sis, they had better have loved his sister, but…but Shibata was downstairs making crepes and Hatori was hiding in the bathroom, he was the only one who was actually acting like this was a big deal, and Shimazaki…his best friend in the world….was making him SORT CLOTHES!
Though, to be fair, Sho was the one who had kicked his clothes boxes over.
He'd had to. Shimazaki had dragged him into his room and said that they had things to discuss….and there wasn't time for discussion! Big sis was bleeding and he wanted to start having discussions? About what?! Well…ok. He had broken down Minegishi's door…and he had seen them naked….but he hadn't actually seen ANYTHING! They'd been holding a pillow in front of themselves and stuff and….and fine. Ok. He had kicked down their door like a jerk and seen them naked…and also Shimazaki had been there with them and Sho didn't want to think about that….so maybe there was something to discuss there….but still! They could have discussed everything AFTER Minegishi's saved big sis from bleeding to death.
The whole thing was just crazy.
Which was why Sho had gone crazy and kicked Shimazaki's clothes boxes over. Shimazaki was the one who was acting like it wasn't a big deal that big sis was bleeding to death…and he was the one who used boxes for his clothes in the first place! What was wrong with using a dresser?! If those boxes hadn't been right down there at kicking height then Sho wouldn't have had to kick them and then they wouldn't have been kicked and….and…..and this was not his fault!
It wasn't!
"Come on! We don't have time for this! Big sis is going to die and-" said Sho as he threw a pair of socks into the socks box. He had boxes for everything. Socks, underwear, t-shirts, button shirts, pants, sleep pants, sleep shorts….it was too many boxes! It was little boxes inside of big boxes and then those littler boxes had even smaller boxes in them because Shimazaki didn't like to wear clashing colors and Minegishi went and…and made getting dressed super complicated! Just wear jeans and t-shirts everywhere! There! They didn't have time for arranging clothes. Big sis could have needed him…and he had to be there for her. He had been such a bad little brother lately…not telling her about baby sis and leaving her all alone….but he could be a god little brother now! He just…he had no idea what he was supposed to do…but he knew that he had to do something…
And that 'something' was not sorting Shimazaki's clothes for him!
"She isn't, now get back to finding and pairing those socks and stop complaining. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Said Shimazaki as he folded one of his shirts…it felt like one from the pack of black ones Toshi got him…so that went in the 'goes with everything' section. God…this kid. Well Shimazaki totally understood why he was freaked out, he thought that his sister was bleeding to death, but he hadn't had to take it out on Toshi's handiwork…or on Toshi themselves. Poor Toshi…they did not like people seeing them naked….well not when they hadn't let themselves be seen naked…and that kid….well he was just a kid and he had been panicked but….yeah. Toshi wasn't going to be all the way ok again for a while…which really sucked….but this was what it was and this was…well something which Toshi would be pissed off about...and he hated it when Toshi was pissed off…
Pissed off for real.
He could hear their aura. They were pissed off about something…and also he could hear Fukuda…and Suzuki might as well have had a megaphone for how loud his aura was yelling…and the same went for Mob. Poor kid….he'd never been a girl but he knew how hard shit like that could be. Really this whole thing was shaping up to be quite the shit show…and Toshi had to be in the middle of it. They had been planning on having a 'sleep in for as long as possible and then dick around all day' sort of day…and all of that went out the window…and they probably wouldn't have another one of those days in a while…
But he wasn't pissed off about that…or about the fact that his clothes were everywhere….he wasn't pissed off at all.
"You know where they are. I know that you can sense where all of your stuff is and-" said Sho as he threw another pair of socks into the socks box. All of his socks were black. He knew that all of his socks were black. They all matched. He could have done this himself. Sho needed to be with big sis. He could see dad's aura and he was mad…actually it felt like everyone next door was mad…and he didn't want to be around dad when he was mad but…well he loved big sis more than he was afraid of dad so…so he should have been there! He didn't care if dad threw him down the stairs and broke both of his arms and legs! He needed to be there for big sis and not sorting clothes like some kind of…clothes…sorting…guy!
"Yeah but I don't know what anything is. Toshi had all of this arranged for me…and we have to talk about what you did to Toshi, by the way, because that was not ok at all, so just help me and then I'll explain all of this to you, ok?" asked Shimazaki. He got up from the floor and went to his desk. Yeah, he was too sober for this. Too present. Too…he was getting to the point where he was about to ruminate on something that the kid did…and he hated ruminating. It was boring. He hated ruminating and he hated being upset with the kid. Sure he had told the kid before not to just let himself into Toshi's room, and sure Toshi had just now starting to say 'I love you' back to him, and sure this might cause problems in…whatever the word for what he and Toshi had together was….but he couldn't get pissed off at the kid. He'd been a kid once and he'd had people pissed off at him…people who he had looked up to…people who had been in charge of him…not that he was in charge of Sho but…well the kid did not need to feel small…like that…and Shimazaki was not going to be responsible for Sho feeling…small and helpless and worthless and useless….
So he went to his desk and lit himself a joint.
"….fine…but if my sister dies then it's your fault….and I don't know if I could forgive you for that…" said Sho as he put the last of the socks in the box. Shimazaki was smoking now. He was back to sitting crossed legged on the ground and he was smoking…and Sho wanted him to share…but big sis was going through enough as it was. She was always on him about moderation, which meant that she thought that he smoked too much and also drank too much soda and ate too many poptarts and enjoyed life way too much, so he wasn't going to…well to ask to smoke. It would have pissed her off to have gotten better and then to have found him smoking…so he wasn't going to ask for a turn…even though that was the polite thing to do…
"Kid, first of all she is not going to die and second of all this is not my fault. Trust me, if I was the one responsible for ketchup packet times….well you'd be talking to a ghost right now." Said Shimazaki as he exhaled. That was better. It hadn't even hit him yet and he already felt better. Maybe this whole thing was just psychosomatic…or something. He didn't know. He just knew that he had a lot of shit to explain to the kid today and he needed to be calm to explain it…and also no matter what happened he was never going to make Sho feel as shitty as he had felt when he had been his age. Shimazaki was responsible for a lot of terrible shit, more than his fair share of it, but hurting a kid was not going to be on his list of crimes.
"It's not ketchup. I can tell the different between ketchup and blood…and that was not ketchup." Said Sho as he scooted closer to Shimazaki. He felt….well he shut the goldfish in his stomach up as best as he could. So what if he wasn't wearing a shirt…he was in Minegishi's pajama pants and he looked really dumb. They were purple and had flowers and…and he looked super dumb…and also this was not the time to be in love. He had to fall out of love, first of all, and also big sis needed him. He could think about Shimazaki later….or never since he was trying to fall out of love….this was not the time to think about love!
"Kid…here. Come on and take a smoking break with me. We have a lot to talk about and…yeah. You're going to need this because I am about to tell you something that…yeah. You're going to need to smoke to be able to comprehend." Said Shimazaki. It wasn't just ketchup packets he would have to explain. He was going to have to tell the kid where babies came from, how people were made, and that was just…well it had blown his mind and sent him into a full blown existential crisis when he had been told that he had the raw materials for making a new person inside of himself and everyone just lived to make more people and then to die and it just went over and over and over again like a wheel….round and round and round….
He inhaled again and passed the joint to Sho.
"Big says that I'm not supposed to smoke without her there but…well if you insist." Said Sho. He needed this. Big sis said that she did this to control her powers…well she meant her feelings. She had said powers but he knew that she meant feelings because powers worked off of feeling. That was how dad had explained it. Powers were tied to feelings and that was why it was important to always control how you felt…and stuff. Well Sho…he didn't have the same problem controlling his powers…but sometimes it was like his feelings took over his mind…
Like earlier today…
And he just…wanted to tell his feelings to go away. Everyone was acting like this wasn't a big deal…even though it was. He had never seen anyone lose that much blood in life and…and he just…wanted big sis to be ok. She was with Minegishi and Fukuda…so she would be fine…and unlike him dad actually cared if she lived or died…..so he knew that she would be fine but…but he just…he should have been there. Even if there was nothing at all that he could do then he should have still been there…
She would have done the same for him.
"Go on you little stoner. You need it more than I do…but pass that thing when you're done because I need it too. This isn't going to be easy for either of us." Said Shimazaki. He felt around the ground until he found…yup. That was a shirt. He pulled it up over his head. There. He knew when he was being looked at…and eventually he would have to tell the kid to knock that off….but he wasn't going to say anything today. They had enough to talk about as it was.
"What's not going to be easy? You keep on saying that you have something to tell me so….just tell me already. Big sis needs me. I know that there's nothing that I can do…because I'm not a healer or a girl...but I should still be there. She would have done the same for me." Said Sho as he passed it back to Shimazaki. He had put a shirt on…and Sho wasn't going to tell him the dark red did not go with bright purple…and now he felt like a jerk for messing up Shimazaki's clothes. He didn't know what colors were and…and this was a lot of work…but he had been mad and….and that was not an excuse. His book had even said that being angry wasn't an excuse to treat other people badly and that empathy was important…and stuff. Well he was….he was going through a lot…but so was everyone else. Big sis was everyone's friend, not just his sister, and they had to deal with this too….but everyone was acting like…like this wasn't the emergency that it was….
Crazy. Everyone as acting crazy.
"You're right. There's nothing that you can do. She's just…ok. You know that girls don't have dicks, right? Because if you don't then this is going to be a very long conversation." Said Shimazaki. That would have been a better place to start with…maybe. He didn't know. He'd never given anyone the talk before…and all dad had said was never finish inside of a girl without wrapping it up first since the world did not need another mistake like him in it….bastard.
"What the fuck….yeah. I know that. I'm not stupid." Said Sho. He wondered if Shimazaki had been smoking before this…he probably had. He was Shimazaki. He was always smoking or drinking or something. Still, this was not the time for that…and also he was hogging it….and also Sho had big sis to worry about…but the aura battle next door was calm…so that was good…
But also just…what did that have to do with anything!
"Ok. Good. That saves me a lot of time." Said Shimazaki as he took the joint from Sho. That was enough for that little stoner…at least for now. He needed this more than the kid did. He had to order his thoughts. He couldn't just come out and tell the kid that girls bled because there was no baby inside of them to live off of all the extra blood. He'd have to backtrack to the beginning if he said that…and he didn't want to confuse the kid…so the beginning was the place to start!
"Time for what?" asked Sho. He didn't know what they were on a time limit for…or whatever. He just…he needed to know what was going on already!
"Time for…well breakfast is going to be ready soon…hope there's chocolate crepes…anyway this is just going to take a lot of time to explain to you. To explain ketchup packet times, and yes I know it's not ketchup I'm not stupid either, I have to explain where babies come from." Said Shimazaki
"I know where babies come from. My mom told me already. When a man and a woman love each other very much they fit together like puzzle pieces and then a baby grows in the mom's stomach. I'm ten, not two, I know where babies come from. Now what does my sister being covered in blood have to do with having babies?" asked Sho
"Well they don't have to love each other….anyway! Yeah, if you stick your dick inside of a girl she'll get pregnant…don't try that by the way you're way too young and not anywhere near ready to handle that….I mean you do you and, yeah, if you want to stick your dick somewhere then it's not like I'm going to bat it away or anything….I mean don't, though, because you're really young…what was I on about again?" asked Shimazaki. Ok, now it hit him….good Toshi was so good at growing this shit…God he missed Toshi…but they'd be…they'd be back and, yeah, they'd be distant but…but they'd be back and maybe they'd forgive the kid and…and he had to explain all of this to the kid…and he was going to explain the hell out of this! Yeah…then Toshi would be less pissed off….God he missed Toshi so much…
"You were asking me to explain where babies came from….and of course I'm not going to do that with a girl! That's gross!" said Sho. Where did he come up with this stuff?! That sounded so gross…and he knew that was how it went but…well leave the grossness to the adults! That was just…he had no idea what this had to do with anything….and maybe neither did Shimazaki…or maybe he had just smoked too much.
"Or a guy. You do you." Said Shimazaki. Right. The kid…well he was what he was. He knew that the kid wasn't the default….so did he have to teach him about all of that, too? Because that was way more complicated than just explaining how the materials got delivered to the baby factory….but it was better that the kid know what to do then not know what to do. It was like karate, better to know but not use than to use and not know…or something. He didn't know. This was complicated. Kids were complicated….but he was going to figure it out. Yeah! People had been doing this for millions of years! Kids were easy…other stuff was hard…like….Rubik's cubes…and getting the last bit of pudding out of the cup…and stuff…
Yeah! He had this!
"Shut up! What does any of this have to do with my sister bleeding for no reason?!" said Sho. He was trying not to lose his patience….but he didn't have a lot of patience left! This was…what did that have to do with….well obviously something but….who he did and did not like was not what they were talking about!
"A lot. Go into my 'fun times' drawer and get me another joint and then I'll tell you." Said Shimazaki. He felt a headache coming on. Between all the aural yelling, the real yelling, and then how upset Toshi would be later…this was a lot. This was a hell of a lot…but he was going to deal with this…and he was dealing with it…and also he could deal with it better so…time to deal with it!
And he was dealing with it! He was dealing the hell out of it like…cards….or something….it would come to him in a second!
"You're closer to it…fine." Said Sho as he got up. He was the only one out of them who could see so…so this was his job or whatever. Fine. He was happy to help…or whatever. He just…the sooner Shimazaki told him whatever it was that he had to know the better…or whatever.
"Thanks, Sho, you will be rewarded in this life and the next." Said Shimazaki as he felt a joint and a lighter getting passed into his hand. He was too focused on what was happening next door. Toshi and Mob were close together….so that was good. Mob wasn't freaked out anymore. God. That must have been terrifying for her…well she had Toshi so she'd be fine just like Sho had him and Sho would be fine. He could do this. He was doing this. Then when he was done doing this they could have breakfast….he smelled chocolate and eggs so…yay! Two things! After breakfast he and Sho could go and pet some dogs or build a fort or mess with the TVs at the electronics store or switch some street signs around or other such fun things…and they could bring Mob with, too, if she felt better.
Yeah. This was going to be hell of a day.
"How about you just reward me in this life and tell me what all of this is even about." Said Sho
"Huh? Oh. Right. OK, so where was I….yeah! Don't stick your dick inside of a girl or you'll get her pregnant. You see you're a guy so you're full of the raw materials to make a new person and a girl has the factory inside of her. Fucking…having sex…that's delivering the materials to the factory. Ok, so the materials need blood to turn into a baby and girls, well they have way too much blood in them, and when they don't have anything in them to make a baby the blood gets too stale and has to be replaced. Then they bleed a whole lot for a week and get really irritable and those are ketchup packet times. So your sister is going to be really irritable and sad, and her stomach is going to hurt like a bitch, for the next week. There. Now you understand everything." Said Shimazaki
"….no I don't. None of that…makes sense….at all." said Sho. He just….he didn't know where to even start with all of that. Just…how did any of that…people didn't just bleed for no reason but….but well that had been a reason and….and Fukuda had said that it was a secret girl thing that guys weren't supposed to know about but somehow Shimazaki knew…well because he was an adult and…also he did stuff with Minegishi and they were sort of like a girl…so that made sense…and stuff….but wait….if he did stuff with Minegishi then did that mean that…that they were going to have a baby….
And why did that bother him? He LOVED babies and….and also big sis….was going through all of that and….and he wasn't supposed to be selfish!
Nothing made sense.
"Ok, I'll start from the beginning. Girls, well girls and people with girl organs, have way too much blood in their bodies and-" said Shimazaki. This was his understanding of it, anyway, and yeah nobody had sat down and told him but it must have been right if nobody had ever sat down and corrected him too. He would explain this to Sho and then everything else that he would ever need to know about sex, best to get the whole thing over with at once, and then when he was done telling Sho everything he knew then they could go and have fun again. There. That was one hell of a plan.
"But wait-" said Sho. He wanted to know…well everything. So…well mom had said that people had the materials to make new people inside of them…but WHAT did 'materials' mean? And also….well he had always just assumed that babies grew but…they needed to be…assembled? In blood? Well that part, the part about blood made sense…because dad was always going on about the bloodline…but wait. It would have made more sense for guys to be the ones with the extra blood, then, because they were the ones who continued the blood lines….also what did shoving your dick inside of a girl like a hotdog have to do with any of that? He wanted to ask, and he could have asked, but he hadn't had any time to ask.
"Sho! Shimazaki! Hatori! Breakfast!" shouted Shibata up the stairs.
"Fuck yeah! Crepes!" said Shimazaki be he gabbed Sho and teleported down into the kitchen. He sat Sho down in a chair and then sat down at his own spot. God, parenting was hungry work. Well he'd earned this…he smelled eggs…he smelled green peppers…he smelled sausage…and bacon….and CHOCLATE! Hell yeah! He'd earned the hell out of this breakfast.
"Here you go, Sho, creepy crepe! See? Because I made them look like a spider and the middle is made out of ice cream." Said Shibata. He knew that he had maybe gone a little overboard on the sugar…but Sho was having a hell of a morning. He was having a tough time and if Shibata could help, even if it was just by feeding him, then he was happy to help.
"Hey! I want ice cream spider crepes." Said Shimazaki. He reached over the kid's plate but pulled his hand back when he felt Shibata getting ready to smack him.
"Then plate it up yourself. You know where the ice cream is." Said Shibata as he went back to the stove. He could hear Hatori coming. He plated him up some frittata. He maybe should have used fewer vegetables so Sho could have some….but then again there was no need to stress the little guy out. This morning was stressful enough. The lightshow next door was finally over…and he had no idea what Suzuki and Fukuda had been freaking out about. It shouldn't have been anything either of them hadn't already known about. Mob, on the other hand, had every right to freak out and if she had been there he would have made her blue crepes with coconut for snow and he would have used chocolate syrup to draw Elsa for her….if that could ever make up for everything she had gone through. Poor Mob…
"Hey, frittatas. Awesome." Said Hatori as he walked into the kitchen. A plate was passed to him as he made his way to the counter. Hopping up on the counter and sitting there was the safest way to eat breakfast when Shimazaki was around. Doubly so when Sho was around and….aww. He got ice cream? Well he had earned it. He may not have known what was going on but he had tried to save his sister…even if in saving her he had told everyone she knew about her….girl stuff…but that was ok. Sho had tried. Hatori would have thought that he would have been happier, he got chocolate and ice cream, but he was just sort of poking it with his fork. Poor kid.
"And spiders!" said Shimazaki as he rooted around in the freezer and found the ice ceam. He heard Hatori start to spit his food out. God. He was too easy sometimes. Really he brought it on himself. Not that Shimazaki was picking on him or anything, no, that had just been to make Sho smile….which he wasn't….well then he'd just have to get some actual spiders then and…lunch time maybe? Yeah. Then. This felt like one of those days when Suzuki felt like locking himself up all alone in his office.
"Stop messing with him! Hatori, there aren't any spiders in this. Shimazaki…grow up already! And use a spoon!" said Shibata. He threw a spoon at Shimazaki…mostly to pass him one but also to maybe hit him over the head with it…but he just caught it…and Shibata had to admit that was pretty cool. The way he caught it without turning his head…because he didn't have to….and he would have thought that Sho would have thought that it was cool…but he was just poking at his crepes….
Maybe Shibata had made them too creepy.
"Never." Said Shimazaki as he dug into the ice cream with a spoon like a human being even though hands were much better for this. Easier to get a good grip…but he was getting it….and that was weird. He was sitting back down next to Sho, with a half full carton of chocolate ice cream, but Sho wasn't even reaching for it…and he wasn't even eating his own breakfast….even though it was technically a dessert and Sho loved desserts…
"Come on…even Sho's acting more mature than you are and he's three times younger than you." Said Hatori as he checked his food for spiders just in case. He hated spiders….he hated bugs…and he hated being messed with. Not that he could do anything about how Shimazaki was always messing with him…he wasn't a fighter…and also Shimazaki fed on attention anyway so saying anything to him was pointless.
"He's not being mature, he's being all…quiet and subdued. What's up with that?" said Shimazaki. He nudged Sho with his foot. He had been resting his head on his hands and looking down at his food. That was just…was he still worried about Mob? She was fine. Probably a little shook up…but fine…and maybe once Sho realized that she was fine he would eat already so they could go to stores and shake up all the sodas.
"Huh? Oh…I'm just…thinking about what you said. It just doesn't…make sense." Said Sho. His ice cream was melting and the chocolate from inside of his chocolate crepes was running out and the whole thing looked like some kind of bloody, chocolatey, mess…and he didn't want to think about blood or…or bloodlines…or how this was something that he had to worry about….or how scared he had been…and he hadn't had to be scared…
If everyone knew then it wasn't a secret.
Fukuda told him that it was some girl thing that you weren't supposed to know about…but everyone knew. That was why he had been the only person freaking out. He was the only one who hadn't known and…and he wasn't a girl but….neither was anyone else! He hated secrets…even though he kept a million of them….and he just…well it was just…someone could have let him in one the secret and also….also big sis had been freaked out too…he could tell from here…and…and if he had known about all of this then maybe he could have saved her from getting freaked out…or something. He didn't know.
He didn't know anything….even with Shimazaki explaining stuff to him…well now he felt like he knew even less than he had known when he had started.
"What part doesn't make sense?" asked Shimazaki through a mouthful of ice cream. Screw fancy adult frittata breakfast….chocolate ice cream was where it was at. Did they have sprinkles? He needed to get sprinkles. Maybe he and Sho could fill a kiddie pool with sprinkles like they had been talking about doing. That would have been fun…or they could have just eaten big bowls of them…with a spoon…or by hand since that went faster….or did they want to savor them….decisions, decisions…..
"Why are girls the ones with too much blood? Wouldn't it make more sense for the guys to have too much blood? Because they're the ones who continue the bloodline?" asked Sho. He looked up from his food….and now everyone was staring at him. Well not Shimazaki. He was finishing eating…and he needed to slow down before he gave himself a brain freeze…and also he needed to stop eating from the carton. Big sis hated that and she had enough problems as it was.
"Girls have too much blood because they're the ones who turn into ketchup packets. It all makes perfect sense. They have too much blood and they've for to get rid of it when it gets too old so they can make new blood which will then turn into a baby when given the raw material for making one. it's not hard to understand." Said Shimazaki as he hit himself over the head a couple of times. Brain freeze. He put the ice cream down and decided to have some fancy adult breakfast. At least it was warm.
"Wait…what?" asked Hatori. Shimazaki…was messing around again…right? That….didn't sound right…but then again Hatori was only twenty and he'd never even had a girlfriend before….but he'd been to health class before….and none of that sounded like…well it sort of sounded right but…Shimazaki had to have been messing around again. Right?
"Shimazaki, don't tell him crazy lies like that. He's too young to know that you're kidding." Said Shibata. Well then it looked like he was the one who was going to have to tell Sho…how it all worked….but he didn't need to know about all of that….well he needed to know something but….he was just a little boy!
"I'm not telling him lies. If I wanted to lie I'd tell him that babies came from cabbage patches or something." Said Shimazaki. That was what mom had told him. She had told him that cabbage patches were where babies came from and that was why they were called cabbage patch kids. It had made sense at the time but then he got older and he figured things out on his own…not that he faulted mom for lying to him. She'd had her reasons. She'd always had her reasons.
"Well either you're lying or you have no idea how…all of that…works." Said Shibata with a shake of his head. Shimazaki….he carried on all night with Minegishi sometimes…so he had to know…right? Otherwise…well he had never planned a baby showed before….but then again Minegishi was probably smarter than Shimazaki by a wide margin…damn. He liked babies.
"I am not lying and for your information of course I know how all of that works. I'm almost thirty one. You think that I haven't pieced together human reproduction yet?" Said Shimazaki. Ok, so nobody had sat him down and told him…and also he could sense auras. He could hear them. He knew that he was getting looks…but he couldn't have been that far off the mark…right? If he had been that far off the mark then Toshi would have corrected him. They had never been afraid to tell him when he was being a moron about something.
"Pieced….together?" asked Hatori. That…didn't seem like the kind of thing that you just…pieced together. No wonder Sho had been sitting there looking so confused. Maybe he was the one who had to…well he didn't want to be the one to teach him but…well wasn't this his dad's job? Well Suzuki….judging by the freak out next door he wasn't the man for the job…and also judging by his parenting track record…
"Yeah. I've managed to figure it out and, unlike my pathetic excuse for a father, I sat Sho down and told him everything. All about ketchup packet times and also where babies come from because they're all related…and I think that's earned me some chocolate crepes…and maybe some homemade pudding?" said Shimazaki. He was still hungry…and hungry for chocolate….and why wouldn't he have been? Chocolate was heaven….and also Shibata knew a thing or two about making pudding…especially the part with the skin…God. Pudding skin was the best.
"Plate your own food and get a cup of pudding from the cabinet." Said Shibata. God….this was looking like another meal when he wouldn't even get to sit down. Shimazaki…why had he trusted Shimazaki with this? He had known Shimazaki for years…he should have known better.
"Fine…God. This is the thanks I get for rising to the occasion." Said Shimazaki as he dug into his fancy adult meal with food groups, as Mob would call healthy things. This was the thanks he got for doing the job that nobody wanted. He didn't know why people freaked out so much over giving kids the talk. It wasn't like it was hard. Well figuring out where to start from, that was hard, but the rest of it was easy.
"You didn't rise to…what, exactly, did you tell him?" asked Shibata with a sigh. Well then. Sho wasn't screaming and kicking down doors anymore…but now he just looked confused….which was better than screaming and kicking down doors…but still. Just…if you wanted something done right you had to do it yourself….even though you didn't want to. Sho was still just a little boy, little more than a baby really, and he didn't need to know about…all of that.
"The truth. If you have sex with a girl she'll get pregnant and if not then she she'll bleed a whole lot because there's not a baby to feed off of her extra blood…or the blood becomes the baby…one of the two." Said Shimazaki with a shrug. He must have been right. Toshi would have told him if he had been wrong. Toshi loved telling people when they were wrong about things. It was one of their few joys in life, they had said, correcting people and reading….and also a lot of other stuff…God. Toshi….he needed Toshi…but Toshi's aura was out of his range and…and he needed to smoke more or drink more or have fun with Sho or…or something to take his mind off of Toshi…
"You….are you serious?" asked Hatori. How did he not…well he was Shimazaki and he was completely out of his mind so….but still how could he not…know? Just…he must have been messing with everyone. That was the only explanation.
"Yeah, of course I am." Said Shimazaki
"That's what's got me confused. I get that babies need blood to live because they're people but wouldn't it make more sense for guys to have all that extra blood? Because guys are the ones who continue the bloodline?" asked Sho. This whole thing was just….well big sis was fine and that was what mattered but…he had thought that he'd understood all of this, mom had explained it to him, but now…well now it felt like he knew even less than did when he had started this conversation.
"Nobody has extra blood…well all have the right amount of blood that we need." Said Hatori. He was the one who was going to have to tell Sho….Suzuki was a nice guy sometimes but he was a bad dad when it came to his son….and Hatori…well he would do his best…from under the table…or in the cabinet under the sink…yeah. He…he could fit under there if he tried hard enough…maybe.
"Then how do you account for anemia?" asked Shimazaki
"Wait….you know what anemia is but you don't know where babies come from? How does that even work?" asked Hatori
"I know better where they come from than you." Said Shimazaki
"I…don't think so. I've been to health class and….haven't you? I mean someone must have told you…something…right?" asked Hatori
"Yeah, my dad threw a box a condoms at my head and told me to wrap it up because the world doesn't need more people like me in it. Aside from that I figured it out on my own. My dad was kind of like Suzuki, not the parental type, and I've never been to school a day in my life…I mean I have a high school equivalency but aside from that nothing." Said Shimazaki with a shrug.
"That sucks….I'm sorry." said Hatori. He didn't like Shimazaki but he knew that he'd had a hard life. Well pretty everyone in Claw had lived a hard life, this was Claw after all, but Shimazaki…well the less said about that the better. He actually felt bad for him…of course he knew that he would come to his senses later when he did something mean or bizarre to him.
"Eh, don't be. That's life." Said Shimazaki with a shrug.
"Wait…so you DON'T know why big sis was all covered in blood this morning then?" asked Sho. Seriously? He had just stopped worrying and now he had to worry all over again…and also now his ice cream was all melted and stuff! Could this day get any worse? He half expected Fukuda to come through the front door while he thought that…but he didn't. He was….outside of Sho's range. Good. Sho did not feel like talking to him…not for a while, anyway.
"He does…and he doesn't." said Shibata as he grabbed a pot from the cabinet. He needed something to do. He didn't want to tell Sho about all of this…he was still just a little kid…and also he just…needed something to do with his hands. Something to take his mind off of the fact that now all of this fell to him…and he did a lot around here already….but these were his friends, mostly his friends, so it was a labor of love….and so was making pudding from scratch.
"That doesn't make any sense." Said Sho. What was the big…whatever…about all of this? Maybe it really was some closely guarded girl secret….like Fukuda had said…and Sho could totally have been let in on the secret! Everyone was acting like this was something not to worry about but…but all the secrecy…now it felt like it was something to worry about!
"You see…um….people start out little and then they get big and when they get big enough they have more little people and that's called the circle of life and….and your sister is big enough to make more people so…so that's what all of that was about. She's going to be fine, it's normal, and it's so normal that you don't have to worry about her…and also do you want pudding? Does anyone besides Shimazaki want pudding? Because…I'm making pudding." Said Shibata. That had been….hard. Not easy. Sho had been looking up at him with those big blue eyes and he was so little and…and it was hard talking to little people about all of this. Mom and dad had just left him a book and told him that if he had any questions he should just look them up. Maybe he was just old…or something. When he'd been a kid people didn't tell their kids about this…or maybe his just didn't. He didn't know. He just…he knew how to make pudding so he was going to do that.
"That….also doesn't make any sense….and why are you making pudding? You just made breakfast." Said Sho. Adults were strange sometimes. Now he wanted to know what the secret was. He wasn't worried about big sis, Minegishi may have been his mortal enemy but they would take good care of her, but still…what was going on with his sister! Shimazaki's explanation was starting to make more and more sense…because he at least had explained something.
"It's just…not something that you need to worry about…none of this is. You're just a kid. You should worry about kid stuff…and not all of that. Now if you don't want pudding I can made fudge…or custard…or-" said Shibata
"Don't talk to him like he's a baby. He's ten and he has a girlfriend. Talk to him like he's a short little man with a high pitched voice." Said Shimazaki. He may have been off the mark…and he made a mental note to just Google it like he should have years ago….but at least he had tried. Better to teach Sho the truth about everything now than have to deal with a tinier version of him a few years down the line.
"He doesn't need details. He's just a little kid." Said Shibata
"I'm not little! Will you just tell me what all the secrets are about?!" asked Sho
"It's not a secret just…well you're little and-" said Shibata
"Here. Watch this." said Hatori. As he passed Sho his phone. Really. These guys. Honestly. There was a middle ground between treating him like a baby and…whatever the hell Shimazaki had planned. It took ten seconds to pull up YouTube and find a video for kids explaining the whole thing for him. God Hatori loved living in today's crazy future times. It paid to be the youngest in the house sometimes. He was the only one who remembered that YouTube was a thing.
This was a hell of a lot easier than telling Sho the truth…and also Shimazaki…
"Huh. Maybe I should have just asked the internet….man was I off." Said Shimazaki
"You were….and that's the big girl secret that Fukuda said I'm not supposed to know about? Seriously?" asked Sho. Would it have been so hard to just tell him all of this? Really? Fukuda could have taken ten seconds to tell him the truth….because, really, it wasn't complicated…and he wouldn't have had to kick down so many doors…and he wouldn't have been so worried about…about stuff that he didn't even have to worry about! He hadn't had to have been so worried and scared and….and…and….just….seriously! He had been going crazy with worry and…and….just….
Seriously!?
"It's not really a secret, it's just not something that you're supposed to talk about in public….or kick down people's doors and yell about either." Said Hatori. He was doing some hardcore big brothering today so he had might as well keep it up. It wasn't like those other two were going to be much help. Shibata was treating him like a preschooler and Shimazaki…well he didn't even fully know what was going on. Hatori…he was good at this. That felt good…being good at this.
"Yeah, like I said, don't talk about ketchup packet times. Girls…well people with those times…really hate people who go around telling everyone so…yeah. Keep it to yourself next time." Said Shimazaki. He couldn't stay mad at him about the door thing….Toshi would be mad enough at him for at least ten people anyway. Desperate times and desperate measures…though maybe next time the kid would maybe take a break from panicking and knock.
"Why? The internet said that it was nothing to be ashamed of…and I would never make big sis feel bad anyway!" said Sho. No way was he teasing his big sister just because of something like that. It was like…like wetting the bed only…only not pee and she had never once made him feel bad about wetting the bed! Also she had never made him feel bad about….about anything in his life and she had never freaked out….and maybe he had freaked out too much and…and yeah. Well he wouldn't have freaked out so bad if somebody had warned him that one day his sister would end up all covered in blood!
"Nobody's making her feel bad! We're just…saying that next time you should do more to respect her privacy but you didn't know…because nobody told you….but you know now…and it's nothing for your sister to be ashamed of. You're right…well she's probably more scared than ashamed-" said Shibata. He would never make Mob feel bad! And she didn't have to feel bad…but she probably did. Her dad hadn't warned her…well President Suzuki was too busy trying to rule the world to parent….and she must have felt so bad…but they were her friends and they could make her feel better. Well Minegishi was doing that but…well there had to be something that they could do. Maybe….more pudding? Or…well there had been the party idea…and she did love parties.
"Her aura sounded beyond scared." Said Shimazaki. Yeah….she needed some kind of pick me up. Maybe…coke again? She liked coke…but he had promised Toshi…but these were extenuating circumstances…hmm. Decisions, decisions….
"So I was thinking that we could throw her a party. I've heard of people throwing those before, parties about all of this, and it'll make her feel better since she was so upset earlier." Said Shibata. Well the party would be more about making her feel better than all of that. Unless she wanted a party about all this then, ok, that was what the party could be about. It was her party and she could have whatever she wanted. Even gelatin and cookies from the Claw cafeteria….though he would have preferred to cook something.
"Um…I don't think that's a thing in this country-" said Hatori. Nope. Mob…would not like that….he wouldn't have liked it if he had been her. Maybe she would have just liked it if they all left her alone and then pretended that they didn't know about this…but was that just making her feel ashamed? Not talking about it? But…well it was private and….and Hatori had no idea. He just got the feeling that all of this was…not the best idea.
"That's a great idea!" said Sho. Big sis needed something to make her feel better! A party! The biggest party ever! With…..stuff! Like another birthday party! He had no idea what Hatori was going on about. People threw parties all the time!
"Seconded. I don't care what we're partying about. Let's just party!" said Shimazaki. Who the hell needed an excuse to party? They'd turn this whole thing into something fun…and maybe all of that could get Toshi in a better mood. They were upset. Even if they were with Mob helping her out, and they loved Mob so much, they were still shook and upset…so maybe an excuse to take copious amounts of whatever they felt like. That wouldn't make everything better, only time would, but if he could do something to help then…..
"That might not be the best-" said Hatori. They had parties like this…in other countries. This wasn't….this wasn't a good idea. This was a bad idea. Mob…she loved a party…but maybe not a party for something so personal.
"Yeah! We'll get her cake and presents and…and it'll be like a birthday…like a birthday part two!" said Sho. This was the best idea ever. He knew that, if he'd been as freaked out as big sis had been, and he had been pretty freaked out so big sis had probably felt worse based on her aura and the fact that it was actually happening to her, and he knew that he would have loved to have had a second birthday if he had been in her shoes…and also…well he maybe should have taken his shoes off…
"Yeah, like all of her favorite stuff. Like her favorite cake and drinks and everything can be themed to Frozen….not that I like Frozen or anything." Said Shimazaki. Yes! This was a great idea! Well, obviously, they weren't going to tell her that it was about her ketchup packet times…maybe they could call it an un-birthday or something. He didn't care what they called it…they just had to have this so they could get back to happy kids and not boring, mopey, upset kids!
"Guys, think about this for a minute. Is this really a good idea!?" asked Hatori. He had never been an eleven year old girl but he knew that if he had he wouldn't have wanted everyone to throw him a period party. They had just gotten done telling Sho off for informing the world about this development in Mob's life.
"Hatori has a point…maybe everything could be red and pink instead of Frozen themed. Her birthday was already Frozen themed…and also I have a bunch of red food coloring from Valentine's Day." Said Shibata
"Perfect! OK, we'll make a list of stuff and then…well we have to move fast! I don't know when big sis is coming back but we have to be ready when she does!" said Sho. This was going to be the best surprise second birthday party ever! They were going to have fun and then just…forget how terrible this morning had been! Yeah! This was the best idea ever!
The world had started off crazy but now…well not everything made perfect sense!