This short is not really a humour story; it's a twisting of the BG Saga written for the attic quiz 157 'Dark Mirror' which asked us to reverse the nature of our characters. Well, I changed a different player in the game.
Illasera, Daughter of Bhaal
Walking with an easy grace, Illasera the quick, a slim dark-haired elven archer, regarded the orderly camp with approving eyes. Her sister had garnered many new followers since the last time Illasera had visited her. Most of the busy people were Drow, but other races mingled with the dark elves. Illasera was watched by many eyes, but only the children dared to stare at her openly.
"Divine one?" an older drow male said timidly.
"Please," Illasera replied. "I am only a messenger; there is no need to be so reverent to me."
"As my lady wishes," he answered with a bow. "Mistress Sendai has sent me to escort you to her."
Illasera followed him gladly, but could not help feeling a bit unnerved when they reached the warrior's section of Sendai's camp. She knew raids and attacks on Bhaal's children and their followers were common, and it was only sensible to defend the enclaves, but Illasera still detested the thought of blood being shed by those who accepted Bhaal's philosophy. Illasera was relieved when they left the fighters behind them, and reached the tunnels that led to Sendai's underground base. "That will be all, thank you," she said as she dismissed her guide. "I can find my way from here."
Illasera winced as she heard the moans of many injured, and sick, people coming from the chamber ahead of her. Sendai could be heard, chanting in a strong, vibrant voice. Illasera waited until the rites were over, and greeted her sister when she came out of the room.
"Illasera! How very good to see you." Sendai said happily. "I trust you are well?"
"I am," Illasera answered, and flushed a bit as she thought of her recent experiences in the Amn city of Athkatla. She tried to preach the philosophy of Bhaal to the various races and classes that lived in the city, but had been arrested and thrown into a dank prison cell by the Amn authorities. Illasera was ashamed because she allowed her new friends to risk their lives smuggling her out of the hostile city.
Illasera was soon jolted out of her remembrances, and brought back to the present, by a shocking sight. The unmistakable form of a mind flayer glided out of the room Sendai had come from, and set off with an easy familiarity down the corridor.
"Oh yes," Sendai laughed when she saw Illasera's bewildered look. "You have not yet met Mithykl; he is a recent convert to our cause."
"I did not think Mind Flayers were capable of understanding Bhaal's teachings," Illasera stated.
"Nonsense," Sendai said cheerfully. "All sentient beings can hear and understand Bhaal's message. Mithykl is more exotic then some, but I have hopes that it will serve as a teacher to its fellow Illithids."
"Of course," Illasera blushed. "Forgive me, sometimes I fear the blood of our Father is wasted in one such as me."
"Come now, sister," Sendai chided. "You are far too modest, we have heard of your Amn activities."
"I had to flee in a most cowardly manner, and the Order of the Radiant Heart put a price on my head," Illasera replied, embarrassed.
"That means you met with success, my dear," Sendai said comfortingly. "They only persecute you if people are responding to your message. I suspect some of the Order's own ranks are beginning to question the human bias of their organization."
"Perhaps, but sometimes I fear we shall all be sacrificed to the cause. Yaga Shura has been forced to turn his retreat into a veritable fortress; he has been attacked so many times," Illasera sighed. "I bring messages from him and some of the others, by the way, and Balthazar sends his personal regards."
Sendai took the stack of letters eagerly, and led Illasera to her office. Once there, Sendai read the messages, and sent a young human to bring food and drink for Illasera. Illasera watched Sendai anxiously, she knew what was in the letters, and saw sorrow cross the Drow's features when she came to the news about Sarevok's death.
"Sarevok gone," Sendai frowned. "I..I expected it, he was far too successful in gaining followers in Baldur's Gate, it was only a matter of time before one of the power factions there tried to assassinate him. I wish it had not been one of our own who struck him down, though."
"It was the Candlekeep Bhaalson that Sarevok warned us about earlier," Illasera replied, then laughed bitterly. "Sarevok said the boy was strongly marked by Bhaal's essence, but he denied the urges of his blood. More than denied, he took pride in fighting against the essence. The Candlekeep killer has given himself the name of Discord."
"I see," Sendai said grimly. "It is hard to deny the blood, but some do manage it."
"Though all of Discord's actions did serve Lord Bhaal's design in the end," Illasera observed. "The bickering factions in Baldur's Gate, who were persecuting Sarevok and his followers, have joined together to denounce Sarevok's murder, and his followers are now allowed to preach undisturbed."
"Discord may try to create chaos, but his actions will, in the end, only serve our Father's design," Sendai remarked. "For order follows in Discord's path, as in the paths of all the children of Bhaal, Lord of Harmony."
Prophecies of Alaundo:
During the days of the Avatars, the Lord of Harmony will father a score of mortal progeny. These offspring will be aligned good and evil, but order will flow through them all. When the Martyr's blessed children come of age, they will bring balance to the lands of the Sword Coast. These children are their father's legacy. Together they will shape the history of the Sword Coast for centuries to come...
The progeny of the Lord of Harmony are fated to come into their inheritance through sacrifice and suffering. It is the hope of their father that most shall remain alive to inherit his legacy. I foresee that the children of Bhaal shall join each other in sacred unity.