Mob wasn't going to kick her dad out.
That would have been mean and she was not a mean person. She was a nice person, well she tried to be a nice person, and as a nice person she was not going to sit up and tell her own dad, who she loved very much, to go to work already. She was not going to tell him that he needed to get back to running Claw before the Awakened noticed that he was gone and they started chair jousting and stuff again. She was not going to tell dad that she was fine, totally fine, and that he didn't need to be there on the couch with her. She was not going to tell him that he needed to go so Sho could come home already, he hadn't been able to take being around dad all day, and she was not going to tell him that maybe if he didn't have to be mean all the time then Sho wouldn't have left in the first place.
No, she was not going to say any of that.
She was just going to sit there with dad until he got bored or annoyed or felt like getting up. It wouldn't be much longer, she figured, because they had been watching makeup tutorials all day. She knew that dad had no interest in this, he was a boy after all, and she knew that he hated being bored. When he got bored he just went and did more work. That was normal for him. Even when they were together on Sundays she made sure not to be too boring because then he would want to work and stuff. She normally wouldn't have wanted him to go but now…..well now he was being kind of smothery again….
And she loved her dad, she really did, but she did not want him to smother her.
"I'm going to put on another one, ok dad?" asked Mob. She picked up the remote and went down to another Elsa makeup tutorial. Elsa had such a good look. Mob wished that she could have done her makeup like Elsa's but Minori said that she shouldn't because it would make her look pale and sick….and she knew that Minori wasn't there but she did have a point about things sometimes…even if they were the same age. Minegishi said not to listen to Minori because it was like the blind leading the blind…which meant that because they were the same age they should not have been teaching each other stuff….even though Mob was the one learning from her…
But that was alright.
Sure Minori could be mean and weird sometimes but also she was Mob's friend and a girl. She didn't know a lot of girls, just Minori and then Minegishi who was born a girl but now was not a girl, but she just….wanted to hang around a girl. Or at least someone who wasn't a boy. Dad was a boy and she loved him…but also she wanted him to leave her alone and find something else to do. Anything else. She did not need to be tucked in, dad had brought her pillow and her blanket to the couch, and she did not need to be spoon fed, dad had insisted on spoon feeding her porridge for breakfast, and she did not need to be helped to her feet every time she had to get up…
But it wasn't like she was going to kick dad out so it didn't matter.
"Whatever you want." Said Suzuki. He….had no interest in makeup and hair and clothes…but apparently Daughter did. This was what she liked now. He had thought that they would have spent the day watching her animated princess movies, the ones she loved, and he had actually been looking forward just a bit to some of them. The ice queen had a very good song where she built her castle and he generally like the princess with the very long hair, and also the red haired one with the bow had an interesting story though he so wished that she would have just used her bow on a person at some point, but this was alright, too. Just so long as it made her happy. That was what mattered, making his Daughter happy.
So that was what he would do.
"Ok…but if you don't want to be here you can go. I mean if you want to watch something else….because I think I'm going to be watching makeup all day." Said Mob. What she really wanted to do was put makeup on Sho…because it was fun…but only if she said yes. She couldn't do that if dad was here because dad thought that her putting makeup on Sho was bad for him for some reason. She didn't know why he would think something like that. Sho let her, it wasn't like she forced him to play that game with her, so she had no idea what dad was so worried about…but then again it was hard to understand him sometimes. Even if he was her dad it was hard to understand him sometimes….and sometimes he didn't understand her, either, like when she and Sho played the game where she dressed him up like a girl and pretended that she had a little sister…that was fun….
And so was smoking.
Well vaping, technically, because she knew not to smoke in the house. Maybe the bathroom but not the whole house. Dad had just gotten it nice for her. It was blue now. The walls were blue and the carpet was blue and the couch was blue and…well anything that could be blue was blue….and it was nice of him. He could be nice sometimes and she wasn't going to just kick him out of the house that he'd had painted for her just so that she could put makeup on her little brother…or just so that she could smoke with her best friend….
Because that would not have been nice of her at all.
"For the entire day?" asked Suzuki. He…could sit through a day of this. If that was what his daughter wanted of him then he could sit there, for a whole day, watching women put on makeup. It was…not terribly boring. Well there was a certain intimacy to it, watching someone else put on makeup, that he was not going to think too deeply into with his Daughter right beside him, but also there was something interesting in the artistry of it. There were a lot if steps, complicated ones, and he did like to learn new things….though why Daughter cared about makeup at all was something that was outside of his understanding. She was beautiful as she was now.
"Maybe…and I might vape, too, and I know that you don't like that…so if you wanted to go to work or to go and hang out with Fukuda and Hatori then that would be ok." Said Mob. She wanted to vape and…and she knew that dad would never stop her….but maybe if she started vaping then dad wouldn't want to be near her. He had so much he had to do and she didn't even know why he had to be there. Well he did love her, of course, but…well she could manage on her own. She wasn't dying or sick or anything. She could still take care of herself.
"Daughter I…no. This is alright. We can sit here and watch whatever you want. This is…there is an element of…art to it…which I find fascinating. I had no idea that putting on makeup was quite so…complicated." Said Suzuki. There. He could find some positives in this situation. This was interesting and some of these women, all of them, were very….well he was not going to let his mind go there while he was sitting next to his Daughter. That would not have been right…and also he was acting like a teenager. It was just because, aside from Daughter, he never spent any time around members of the opposite sex. There just weren't any in the upper echelons of Claw…and also he was married so he had no need to talk to women….and even if he'd had need to talk to women he had people to talk to people for him…and other such things….and the whole thing was a moot point, anyway, because aside from Daughter the only woman around was Minegishi…
And he had no idea how to even explain…them.
She was a them, which was sort of hard to remember as he had never thought of them this much, and they were a woman who did not define themselves as a woman for reasons that Suzuki did not understand. They were…well he knew nothing about them. He knew that there were files but he didn't want to read them. He had no reason to. They were a woman who he knew and….and they had helped out Daughter…and that was why she was, they were, on his mind. They had done very well for Daughter and…and he wanted to reward them….and he had no idea what they eve liked…but he did want to do something nice for her, them, and he didn't know what….
But he did know that sitting there on the couch next to his Daughter while she was going through unimaginable suffering was not the time or the place to be thinking about women, any women, and also he was married on top of all of that!
"Yeah…there's a lot of steps…and I think that I'll get my vape now…ok?" asked Mob. Nope. Dad….well she liked it when dad liked the things that she liked but also…also she didn't want him to get into makeup. Then that would have been too weird. She knew that boys could like makeup too but…but not her dad. That would have just been too much and…and wow she was being mean. OK. Minegishi had said that she would yell and yell, or cry and cry, and sometimes even do both at the same time….so that much have been it. Even though now all she wanted to do was laugh and laugh until she cried and cried because the idea of dad wearing makeup….
She covered her mouth with her hand so dad couldn't see her smiling.
"Wait, let me carry you." Said Suzuki. She didn't look well at all. She looked like she was going to be sick…and her aura was behaving oddly too. He didn't know firsthand what was happening to her but he did know what Minegishi had said…and if she was really going through….all of that…then she could vape as much as she wanted to…and also he would carry her to wherever she kept these things because she did not look well enough to walk at all.
"No, it's ok." Said Mob as she tried to get up. She felt dad's powers around her…and she loved him, she really did, but she could get up on her own just fine. She wasn't…she wasn't sick or hurt or dying or a baby. Just because she had gotten her period it did not mean that she couldn't get up on her own.
"Then…let me help you up at least." Said Suzuki as he got her to her feet with his powers. She was suffering and she didn't have to put up a brave face for him. He knew that she was suffering and he knew that he had to do whatever was in his power to help her…and not helping….well he had powers, the ultimate power, but even that meant nothing when he couldn't make his own Daughter's life any less miserable than it was now.
"Thanks….um…I'll be back." Said Mob. She walked over to her room as fast as she could. She could feel dad's aura on her, watching her, even though he had no reason to. What, did he think that she was going to get lost or something? Well she wasn't. Even if the whole house was blue now she still knew her way around. She knew how to get to her room and she knew where she had kept all of the stuff that she hid from Sho, thankfully nobody had moved it when they cleaned her room up for her, and she knew how to get back downstairs to dad. She kept all of this stuff in a makeup bag now, mostly to keep Sho from borrowing from her, so she just took the whole thing back downstairs with her. It didn't matter if dad saw or not. He said that this was ok.
She was allowed to smoke and vape but he kept on trying to pick her up like she was a baby or something.
She didn't understand him sometimes. She didn't understand what made him the way he was…and she probably never would. Why he only loved her and not Sho. Why he always had to fight with Sho even though they had been fighting, it felt like, for as long as she could remember. Why he just was…the way he was. She didn't know. All she knew was that she really wanted to vape and Shimazaki had gotten her a bunch of new cartridges for International Friendship Day….and she wished that the others had told her that they would be giving gifts…because now she had to give them all gifts and the next gift giving holiday wasn't until Christmas….and Shimazaki's birthday….
Maybe if she figured out how to get cartridges on her own then she could get some for everyone and then that would make up for her not getting anyone any presents.
"What…is that exactly?" asked Suzuki as Daughter went into the silvery bluebag she carried with her and pulled out a small gold colored….he didn't know what. It was round and full of a golden liquid…that looked sort of like syrup.
"Hash oil. This one is supposed to be blackberry but I haven't tried it yet." Said Mob as she swapped out the carts from her pen. The last one had been tangy, which she liked, but maybe she would like blackberry too. This one was new. Shimazaki had said that these were supposed to be very good, the best kind you could get in Japan, so she had high hopes. He was Shimazaki. He would never lie to her.
"Oh. So is it supposed to taste of blackberries or just smell of them?" asked Suzuki. He did not understanding vaping. It was even more incomprehensible than smoking. Both of his parents had smoked when they thought that he wasn't around. It had always been this thing that adults did for some reason. He had tried smoking for the first time at about thirteen or fourteen….and he hadn't cared for it…and again in university…and he still hadn't much cared for it…but maybe that was just something that was wrong with him. Daughter loved to smoke…and to vape…which was just smoking without the tobacco…which he didn't get the point of. For taste and smell….maybe? He didn't know.
"Both. Here, you can try it first, dad, if you want." Said Mob. She wanted to sit on the couch, vape, and see which Elsa makeup look had been the best of 2014 and she couldn't do any of that if dad was going to sit there and ask her questions nonstop all day….and now she was being mean again. Dad loved her and he was just trying to understand…so she would share with him so he understood…and if he wanted to leave then that was ok too…because it would have been his idea and not her kicking him out.
"I don't….alright. If you want me to." Said Suzuki. He did not want a repeat of what had happened before, the burning and that terrible taste and smell…but if this was something that Daughter wanted to share with him then he would share in it with her. This was something that she enjoyed, like dolls and hair and makeup and Disney movies, and….and he enjoyed being with her…and if this was what she wanted to do then this was what they would do. He had always left Masami to her own devices when she did something that he did not enjoy…because he hadn't realized what a gift it was to be near her…and he was not going to make that mistake again. No, never again. He took the pen…thing…from Daughter and held it in his hand. This was blue, it was her favorite color, and he wondered why she didn't have blueberry…whatever this was…but maybe she just liked blue but not blueberries. He didn't know.
"You're actually…um…ok. Just like before. Just hold down the button and breathe in. That's all." said Mob. Well this was….she liked that dad was trying to share stuff with her…but smoking with dad…it was weirder than smoking with Sho…and she really hoped that Sho didn't pick now to come back from hanging out with Shimazaki. She didn't know how she would explain this to him…or to Shimazaki…and then he would tell everyone…and then they'd all probably make fun of dad….and he didn't need that. He didn't seem like it but he could actually be very sensitive sometimes.
Physically and emotionally.
Dad was sitting there worried about her but she should have been the one worried about him. He had done as she said and now he was coughing like he was trying to hack up both of his lungs. He'd taken in way too much, it had been a long inhale, and now he was red and coughing…and maybe she should have warned him about inhaling so much at once…though she would have thought that he would have known. Didn't all adult know how to smoke? Well it didn't matter, he was coughing now and that was what mattered, and she had to help him because he was her dad and she loved him.
She patted him on the back and took the vape pen from her.
"This…does not taste of blackberries." Said Suzuki as he finished his coughing fit. His throat was raw, his eyes burned, and it was a struggle to keep his aura from flaring. That….he had no clue why she or anyone else would want to do that to their bodies. There was no purpose to it. It didn't taste good or smell good and it just irritated your respiratory system.
"Wait…it doesn't? Shimazaki said that he got me a bunch of the blackberry ones…let me try." Said Mob. She wiped off dad's spit, she hadn't meant to be rude but sharing spit with your dad was just weird, and hit the pen…and it did taste like blackberries. Not like she was eating actual blackberries, obviously, but enough that she could tell that this was supposed to be a blackberry cart. Dad was just weird about tastes. He did put ketchup on everything after all.
"So you get these from Shimazaki?" asked Suzuki wiping his eyes. He…had no idea how to feel about that. On the one hand yes, everyone should have been at Daughter's beck and call, but on the other hand this was Shimazaki. He was….Daughter had been interested in him before….even if she claimed that she hadn't been….and he was a powerful esper and a very attractive man. Well Suzuki thought, anyway, that he must have been attractive. He was very fit and tall and dressed well and wore too much cologne. Women loved that…and Daughter was a woman….and if she wanted Shimazaki as her...whatever…then he just…he had two options. Either say yes and allow Shimazaki to marry his Daughter or kill him and then risk alienating Daughter is she ever found out and…and he was not going to think about this anymore.
"Yeah, he knows how to get all the best stuff. Well he says that it's not very good in Tokyo but he makes due. He says that it's just not very good in Japan in general. I think that it's ok." Said Mob as she hit her pen again. Dad just didn't know what the good stuff was like. Nothing would ever be better than California, they had the best stuff there since it was legal and he didn't have to be shady about it, he had said anyway, but this was god too. He said that if you wanted good carts, or god anything, then you had to go to Tokyo. This was the center of Japan, he said, even though it wasn't. The center of Japan was…probably more in the middle of the country…but she wasn't going to argue with the person giving her nice gifts.
"Not very good in….he has no idea what he's talking about. Everything is better in Japan." Said Suzuki with a wave of his hand. Nothing in any country could possibly be better than in Japan. Shimazaki was an idiot and not worthy of Daughter…and hopefully she didn't have feelings of any kind for him. He so wished that Hatori and Daughter were compatible. He didn't like the idea of Daughter being in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone but if she had to be with someone it should have been with Hatori. He was intelligent, good conversation, his skin was clearing up, and he had almost no will of his own most of the time so that would be good for Daughter. He would do whatever she wanted and he wouldn't ever even think about being with any other women…but no, he just HAD to have been a homosexual hadn't he….and he could have forced Hatori to be with Daughter but then that wouldn't have worked out…even though he would never have desired her sexually so it would have been the perfect relationship…but he was her father, not her matchmaker, and he couldn't just make matches for her…
But he could and would quietly disappear anyone who even thought about treating his Daughter as anything less than the most perfect human being ever to live.
"Not the vapes. Back when we were in California they had a lot more flavors and they were a lot stronger." Said Mob. This was pretty weak, actually, or maybe her tolerance was just too high again. That might have been it. She didn't think that she was even feeling anything…well her socks were pretty soft…and dad's eyebrows were so funny…how they were meeting in the middle now…ok. Maybe she was feeling it just a little bit….which was good because maybe now she wouldn't feel the way her stomach was hurting all the time or how gross it felt to be wearing not only what was pretty much a diaper but also leggings…she hated leggings so much…
But a least her socks felt nice.
"Everything is better in Japan." Said Suzuki. She must have known that. They had traveled the world together so she must have realized, now, that everything was better in Japan….like….he didn't know. This shirt was….he knew that there was no tag but he felt one…and that wasn't better but…well this couch felt good…and…he reached up. His hair felt good….not soft but just…good…and he had to sit still now. What was….he didn't know. Everything just sort of felt…oddly good…now…and he needed to stop being so….ridiculous.
"You just said that you didn't like this and this came from Japan." Said Mob as she inhaled again. Dad was being all squirmy…and it was so funny! She made sure not to laugh…but she did…and when she did it came out like a cough…and she couldn't help it! He was being all squirmy and….and his eyebrows were being all like squirmy caterpillars…..and it was just so….funny! This whole thing was just so…so….she tried not to laugh. She tried really hard not to laugh. She was good at trying not to laugh.
"Maybe I was mistaken. Give that back." Said Suzuki as he reached for the vaping pen…thing…that Daughter had been smoking from. This was good. This was…if it was Japanese then it was good. He liked it in that case because….well because it was Japanese and also…also he could vaguely taste blackberries…and he had always liked blackberries….not when they were ripe, of course, because they were much too sweet when they were done. No, he liked them before they had ripened all the way…right off the bush…like the one that he'd had in his yard as a child. He had eaten all the berries one day when he had been very small and mother….well she had taken a picture of him even though he had been a mess…and then father had told him that he had been selfish and that those were mother's….but mother hadn't minded…and they had been so good….
And he really could have gone for some unsweetened blackberries right now.
Unripe and unsweet blackberries…and then some very tart blueberries….and then also some white strawberries, they were best when they were still a little while….and them some sugarless cheesecake….that was good. He so wished that he could have asked Daughter to cook him a sugarless cheesecake with some unsweetened berries…but she was suffering and could not cook…and he didn't want her to suffer…and he just wanted her to be ok…and he just loved her so much…and she looked so warm and small and soft, there, wrapped up in her little blanket….
He rested is head on her stomach.
"Dad? Are you ok?" asked Mob. Well this was…new. Dad cuddled with her all the time but he never just went and used her like a pillow before…but now he was…and this was…it was nice. She reached up and touched his hair. It wasn't soft, no, it was very stiff just like Sho's. She tried to smush it down but it just sprang right up….and that was kind of funny.
"I'm fine. Keep doing that. It feels good." Said Suzuki. He had never liked his hair, not once, but now…well that was nice. How long had it been since anyone touched his hair…or touched him? He held Daughter often but she never initiated physical contact…well not never but…not like this. Her hand in his hair, her head on her stomach, the whole thing just….the whole thing just felt very nice. He hadn't been this warm and….and happy in….he didn't even know. He felt like he could have just….floated away…he felt that good.
"Ok….but that's enough pen for you." Said Mob as she used her powers to take the pen away from dad. So….this was what it was like when dad was high….or maybe even stoned. He was making them float. She knew that it was an accident so she didn't say anything but…well this was still sort of annoying. She was trying to bring them, and everything else in the house….back to the ground…but dad was still making things float….and she loved him a lot but…but still. She wanted to vape and relax and she couldn't do either of those things if dad was being all…like this….
She loved him a lot but…come on dad.
"If you say so…and you were right. It does taste of blackberries." Said Suzuki as he inhaled again. If you didn't inhale so deeply then it wasn't as terrible. Sort of like those rare times when he had tried smoking on his own. He felt….he was so light and…and he could see why Daughter did this to herself. This was…very nice.
"I told you it did, dad, I told you it did." Said Mob. Why hadn't he believed her? What, did he have to be high to think that she knew what she was talking about? Did he think that just because she had gotten her period she had no idea how to smoke or walk or sit up or feed herself? Why was he treating her like she was dumb? She was the same Mob that she had always been. She was just Mob but with a period now that would come back every month until she was his age and it wasn't fair and none of this was fair and she just-needed to keep calm. That was that yell and yell thing that Minegishi had told her about. That was….not the way she should have been thinking about her dad at all. She loved him and when you loved someone you were nice to them…even in your own head where they couldn't even hear any of your thoughts.
"I should have believed you, Daughter, you are the expert in this situation. Always….always believe the expert…in all situations." Said Suzuki. That was…it was important that she know that. When you didn't know about something then it was best to ask someone who did. Like the time when he had been in university and he had been having trouble with….what had it been? Calculus? No, he knew calclus….it would come to him. His mind was just a bit…muddled….somehow. He didn't know why but…thoughts were a bit…difficult right now.
"I will, dad." Said Mob as dad rubbed his head against her stomach. He rubbed his hair…and he really needed conditioner. He needed to use some conditioner because, well, his hair was stiffer than Sho's. She wondered if it would stand up like Sho's did if it got long enough….that would have been funny…and she was not going to laugh. She was not going to laugh at the idea of dad with Sho's hair….or Sho with dad's eyebrows….because Sho was his son and…and then she had a terrible thought….
What if SHE ended up with his eyebrows? She felt…no. She was fine. She was fine.
"Like your friend Minegishi…they are a very intelligent woman….I should reward them….but I have no idea what they want…and I hate not knowing things." Said Suzuki as Daughter's hand left his hair. He reached up with his powers and put it back. He had forgotten how much he liked having his hair touched…or maybe he had just never realized how nice it felt in the first place. Masami had done this to him, before, when they would be in bed together just laying down and enjoying being near each other…and he half expected to feel Son kicking….but he wasn't. Daughter was not pregnant and…and he was not going to think about that, the idea that Daughter could be pregnant, because…he was not ready for that….and neither was she. Well biologically but…but she was still eleven and…and he wanted grandchildren…but not yet….
He wasn't done enjoying the child he had.
She was so warm and small and soft and perfect and…and he loved her. He oved her so much and he wanted…he wanted to stay this way for the rest of the day. It had been so long since he had been like this with another person. With someone who loved him. He didn't care if Daughter wasn't Masami, if he wasn't going to feel Son, his or hers, kicking under his head. This was…this was the best feeling that he'd felt in…in so long…
Good enough that he could feel control starting to slip through his fingers…
It was slipping but…but he just…he didn't know if he wanted it back. This was…he was just…he was in a good place right now and he did not want to leave it. He could not leave it. He wanted to stay here, to stay this way with his Daughter, for the rest of the day. He loved her so much and he loved this and…and he knew that he could not bear to lose this…and if he tried to get control back then…then he would lose this and also…also he got the feeling that….that he could not easily get control back….
He felt like he had been here before…and it hadn't gone well.
"Oh. Um…ok. Minegishi wants…well a lot of things. They want a giant block of unsweetened dark chocolate and a copy of a book called Tamerlane and Other Poems and diet soda without a funny aftertaste and also a new door for their room that can't be kicked down. Those are things that I know that they want off the top of my head. I'll text you the list…they're going to be so happy." Said Mob as dad made her touch his hair some more. She didn't mind this….and she didn't mind talking about Minegishi. Talking about them was almost as good as being near them. They were probably awake by now and stuff….and maybe they would have wanted to come over…they liked to smoke and dad liked to smoke too…so maybe they would be friends….and dad wanted to do something nice for them so that would speed up their friendship….and that would be the best thing ever! Her and dad and Minegishi being friends! Then dad could be friends with all of her friends, not just Hatori, and then maybe he would even be nicer to Sho…and then maybe things would be better….or something. She didn't know.
"Good….good…they deserve to be after what they've done…and why are they a 'they'? Why the gender neutral conjugation? And why….why do they have such short hair? They would be so much prettier with long hair…not that they aren't pretty now….they are…in a way…" said Suzuki as he closed his eyes and laid more onto Daughter. He could hear her heartbeat. She was so soft and warm and comfortable and intelligent. She would be able to explain Minegishi to him. He didn't understand them…and he wanted to understand them…just a bit. Just enough to…well to understand them….also why didn't they have eyebrows? That was just….they could have drawn some on as he'd seen women do for reasons that he could not understand….but they didn't and they colored their hair….and they wore clothing that was several sizes too big…and he just couldn't understand them…but he wanted to…
He loved puzzles.
"Um…they just are…who they are…and if they want to be called 'they' then we should just call them what they want to be called….like I said before and…um…they're pretty I guess…but let's talk about something else." Said Mob. She didn't want dad to call Minegishi or anyone pretty. He was only allowed to call her and mom pretty. He called her pretty because she was his Daughter and mom was pretty because she was his wife and he liked her…and he could not like Minegishi or anyone else.
"Alright then….you're pretty. Do you know that? You are so pretty and I love you so much and you're so soft and I am so sorry that you're suffering right now." Said Suzuki as he pressed his ear to her heart. Her hand was still in his hair…and now one of her hands was on his shoulder…and she was so soft and being near her felt so good…and he knew that his back should have been killing him but…but he didn't care. He just…well he couldn't feel it at all…all he could feel was her. He and the ghost of the tag that had been at the back of his shirt before Daughter had cut it out for him. She was so good at that, knowing what he wanted before he could tell her, and he loved her so much….the most that he had ever loved anyone before.
"Um…that's ok, dad, I feel better. Smoking makes me feel better." Said Mob. Dad weighed a lot….a lot a lot…and she loved him a lot…but maybe he should have sat down like normal. Just maybe. She was not going to say something mean like 'do I look like a chair' or anything like that because she loved him…but she was going to think, in her head, that he needed to sit up like normal before he crushed her and broke his back into a million little pieces.
"This is…it does….I can't even feel my back anymore….I cracked it earlier….but in a bad way…but now I can't feel it…" said Suzuki. He felt…he could not ever remembering feeling this good….well he sort of could. That one time in university when he and Tadashi had tried smoking marijuana…and he had felt very good…but he couldn't remember what had happened next. He just woke up and their entire apartment was a complete mess and he had been wearing Tadashi's clothes for some reason and Tadashi had written a note on his arm that said he needed a few days off from their friendship for some reason.
"Um…do you need to see Fukuda? He'll probably come if you're hurt." Said Mob. She didn't want to see Fukuda but also she didn't want her dad to get hurt…even though he wouldn't have been hurting his back if he would just sit up like normal.
"No, I know that you don't like Tadashi….and I have no idea why…but I won't summon him anyway. I don't need him right now." Said Suzuki. Tadashi…he had no idea why nobody liked Tadashi. Yes he could overstep at times, and his taste in music was suspect, but he was still Tadashi. He was always there when you needed him and he was good company and he had good ideas….very good ideas….if it weren't for him then there never would have been a Claw….well there would have been but it wouldn't have gotten off the ground as quickly as it had…Tadashi was great….but busy….very busy…like he should have been.
"Who's Tadashi?" asked Mob. She….did not know anyone by that name…but then again she didn't know everyone who dad knew. She just knew….well it was a familiar name…and stuff.
"Oh. I apologize. That's Fukuda's given name, Tadashi. Mine is Touichirou…in case you didn't know…and you are Shigeko. I do know your name….your brother thinks that I don't know your names but I do…he's called Sho and you're called Shigeko." said Suzuki. How in the hell had Son thought that his own father had forgotten his name? Of course he knew Son's name. Of course he knew Daughter's name. He knew names…he just…didn't use them…and he was Suzuki Touichirou. He could say and do whatever he wanted….and right now he wanted…to listen to Shigeko's heartbeat. God. Shigeko was…she was so perfect…she was his most perfect person.
"I…know your name, dad, and I know that you know mine." Said Mob as she patted dad's hair some more. Tadashi was Fukuda's given name…she had known that…..but she had just forgotten. She wasn't sure how she had forgotten…maybe because she didn't like to talk to him anymore. Back when she had been little, very little, she used to love him almost as much as she loved her own mom and dad….but now…well now he was just this person who babysat Sho sometimes and thought about her being naked with people…and stuff…and she didn't want to think about that or about him or about…she just…she played with dad's hair. That was better than thinking about Fukuda
"Good, good….though I would have called you Mukai…I like that name…but I did not name you." Said Suzuki. Her name should have been Mukai…or Aia…or…or maybe mother's given name…but it wasn't. She was Shigeko and…and that was a nice name too. Shigeko. Nurturing child. He liked….he liked her name a lot. He liked her a lot. He loved her name. He loved her name and he loved her and he loved laying there with her listening to her heartbeat.
"Oh…well…I like being Shigeko." said Mob. She…did not want to think about baby Mukai…well her name had been Mi-Cha before dad had changed it….and Mob still didn't know why dad had changed it. Maybe because her name had been Korean and he was Japanese…and maybe he had been planning on sending her to live with a Japanese family…or something….but if he had been planning on sending her to a new family then maybe they should have been the ones to name her…she didn't know. She didn't know how these things worked, adoptions and orphans, so she didn't want to think about it anymore. She just…she loved baby Mukai and…and she didn't want to think about her anymore. It was too sad, thinking about her, even though Mob knew that she was happy…wherever she was…in that big somewhere out there….like where mom had run away too…but at least Mukai hadn't had a choice in leaving her….she'd been a baby and babies needed real moms and dads…and so did she…
She had a dad. He was right here.
"And I like you. I like you so much…I love you and I like you…and I just cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you…it'll be wonderful…we'll have a nice big house and we can spend all of our time together…and with the children, of course, there will be many children." Said Suzuki. He loved her so much and he would not take her for granted…he would be with her for the rest of his life…and she would be with him for the rest of his. They would be together and…and she would never leave him…and then she would have her children and he would help her raise them…and then they would be so happy and…and they would be able to be like this forever….not just like this for the rest of the day but for the rest of his life….and it would be so perfect….
"Oh…are you…I mean…am I going to have more brothers and sisters?" asked Mob. She didn't want dad to have any more kids…brothers and sisters….well she liked babies, and she liked Sho, but…but then she would have had to have had another mom and…and she didn't need another mom. She didn't need dad to meet some woman and divorce mom and fall in love with her….and then they would have babies and…and she just…they didn't need a mom! She was the mom. She was the mom and…and their family did not need a stepmom….and also she had heard that stepmoms were mean and wicked and….and she didn't want to have to deal with that and…and also if he had any more brothers and sisters they might get taken away….well she knew that baby Mukai had just been an orphan but….
But she didn't want any more brothers and sisters for as long as she lived.
"No, no, no, nothing like that. Your mother is gone and I am not an adulterer…never….be careful about that. Shigeko, when you get married you should built some sort of dome or cage for your husband and keep women away from him. Men…men are terrible…remember that…men are terrible….but I will never be unfaithful to you. I will spend my life making you happy and then we'll raise the children, your children, together and…and we'll spend time together….won't that be wonderful?" asked Suzuki. He had been the worst sort of man, before, and if even he could fall to temptation like that then…then what hope was there for Shigeko's husband? If he ever so much as heard rumors that her husband was cheating on her he would end that man's life, plain and simple, and then he would make it look like an accident so Shigeko wouldn't know the terrible truth and…and how could he have been so unfaithful? He buried his face so she could not see him….even though she could see his aura…and he felt the couch sway…and he knew that he was up above the ground and…he knew that he should have put them down but….but he didn't want to…he couldn't. He couldn't focus on lowering them to the ground or on…on anything…anything that didn't have to do with how…how he had fucked up….how unfaithful he had been…how Shigeko could never know…and how he would never be unfaithful towards her. He would never, ever, be unfaithful towards Shigeko. Ever.
"Um…sure….dad. Also…um…are you hungry?" asked Mob. She….well she had never seen dad like this. Well that was because she had never seen him high before…or stoned….he might have been stoned…and maybe this meant that she would have to be the one to teach him about moderation. She didn't know if she could. That would have been weird. Well it would have been weird but not as weird as dad calling her by her actual given name…nobody ever did that…and also he was talking about how they would be together when she grew up and…..and of course she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her dad but…she didn't know. Something just felt sort of…weird…about that but…well dad was high and that was weird in and of its self….and she didn't much want to talk to him about stuff right now…and he must have been hungry.
Please, please, please let dad have been hungry.
"Ravenous. Have someone bring sugarless cheesecake and unripe berries…and also omelets with lots of ketchup….and also flavorless popsicles." Said Suzuki. She knew him better than he knew his own mind. The moment she said that, suggested that he may have been hungry, instantly he felt how ravenous he was…God. Was there anyone in this world more perfect than his Shigeko? She was just…she was the most perfect person…she was his most perfect person…and one day she would be someone else's most perfect person…but until that day came she would be his and he would be hers and this would be their lives…they could stay this way for the rest of the day…for the rest of his life…her life…their lives.
"But….that's just frozen water." Said Mob. She wondered if dad had a sense of taste like she had a sense of taste. He was talking about unripe berries and cheesecake without sugar…that was just warm cream cheese in a gram cracker crust….and now he wanted to suck on plain water and pretend that it was popsicles…when they had a whole box of rainbow pops in the fridge? Dad was….weird. No wonder Sho was so weird about food, he had come from dad after all.
"With food coloring. My mother used to make me those during the summer." Said Suzuki. When he had been small…and part of him wished that he could be that small again, mother would fill these small glasses she had with water and then she would let him put in the food coloring….and he had always been so very careful not to spill any and ruin her kitchen…and he had made green and yellow and red and blue and purple and pink…well pink had just been very little red….but he had helped and then…and then there had been popsicles that he could eat…because that was what all of the other children loved…but he had hated them….because sugar was just so vile….and everyone had always thought that he had been strange…but mother had understood. She had understood him and Shigeko…she understood him now too….and he liked to think that maybe he understood her, too, just a little bit.
"Ok dad…I'll…have people bring us all of that and…and how about I put one something you like? Like…how about….Galaxy Express? Or we could watch Evangelion again…we never made it past the first movie…or we could watch some more Planet Earth…you like that…right? I think…that we should do that…" said Mob. She patted dad on the head and called her phone over with her powers. She didn't think that any of the things that dad wanted to eat sounded any good, and she wasn't in the mood to watch a 'dad show' right now either….but she also wanted to relax and…and she couldn't because did didn't know about moderation even though he was even older than she was….but that was ok. She loved him and…and this was ok. Sure she felt gross, and she couldn't even enjoy smoking because dad had overdone it, and also she was way too hot with dad laying on her like this, and he was really heavy….
But it wasn't like she was going to kick dad out or anything like that, no, that would have been way too mean…and she could never have been mean to her own dad. He loved her…and she loved him.