'Oi, Evans! When are you going to give into your subconscious urges and go out with me?'

'When my subconscious urges stop involving throttling you, Potter. Now get off my tail before I put your wand where it belongs. And you won't enjoy that.'

Lily Evans tossed her mane of hair over her shoulder and grabbed her best friends' hand, marching off down the hall. That stupid pang on dejection stabbed me in the heart again as Sirius sidled up beside me, shaking his head.

'Merlin, man, you're not going to win her over. Aim slightly lower, go for the little friend of hers. Now that is a nice slab of meat.'

I looked over my shoulder at my best mate and blinked at him. 'Sirius? Has anyone ever told you that the amount of crap that pours out of your mouth increases every day?'

'Daily.' He shrugged his bag higher on his shoulder and pushed past me, talking as he did. 'I know that the constant rejection by little Miss Evans is striking you at the core of your very being but, seriously Prongs, get on with your life.'

'Seriously, Sirius?' I smirked at my lame joke. Yeah, my senses of humour wanes slightly whenever Evans busts my bubble. Bloody female.

'Hey man, did you do that Transfiguration homework? Because McGonagall is going to whip me. She'd enjoy it, but I don't think I will.'

'Thanks for the mental image, Padfoot.' Remus jogged up from behind us, tucking a book on magical creatures under his arm. 'Didn't really need it, though.'

'Anytime. Hey, did you just witness Prong's latest attempt at nailing Evans?'

'Nah. Kinda of glad of that, too. They keep getting lamer.'

I ploughed on ahead, face as dark as thunder. Screw them, I was going to get her to go out with me if it was the last thing I did. The weather suited my mood too, I thought, as thunder rolled across the sky somewhere above the stone arches of the castle ceiling. Bloody women. Storming through the doorway into our classroom, I glared at Evans' back as I slumped in my seat at the back of the room.

Professor McGonagall gazed sternly around the classroom over the rim of her glasses and sniffed dismissively. It seemed like she was in another of her moods. I conveyed my concerns to Sirius. He nodded solemnly and scribbled three letters on a scrap of parchment. And a hand came down to snatch it off the desk.

'Good work, Mr Black. Unfortunately, that is incorrect.' McGonagall waved her wand and the parchment transfigured into a tiny swan which whirled up into the air and glided out the window. Padfoot's face was the picture of apology, but even I could see the suppressed laughter. Every eye in the room was fixed on us and I could feel those green eyes burning into my skull. McGonagall glared down at us, one eyebrow so high, it was close to her severely pulled back hairline.

'Care to explain, Mr Potter?'

I shrugged and flashed a charming smile up at her. 'Men suffer from PMS too, Professor. I was expressing the reason for my mood swings. The constant dejection by Miss Evans is affecting my life, I find myself so very close to tears every night.'

Evans blushed furiously, face almost matching her hair. McGonagall almost… almost smiled. Then gave Sirius and I detention for the next week. Padfoot muttered under his breath as she stalked to the front of the room, where the blackboard was filled with writing I hadn't noticed.

Unfortunately, my eyes met with Evans' and I was given a silent show of exactly what she was planning on doing later to me. Bat bogies. I shuddered.