Suzuki's back was killing him.
So, really, he had to go and see Fukuda. That made sense. That was thing which he had to do. That was a thing which it would have made sense to do. So that was what he was going to do. He was going to go and see Fukuda and he was going to get his back hurt…and he just…this was what he was doing right now. He had lost a whole day and…and that didn't make sense…so now he was going to just…go and see Fukuda and get his back fixed. He knew that it would have made sense, much more sense, to have Fukuda come to him but…
He wanted to go and see Fukuda.
Daughter didn't like him anymore so…so it made sense for him not to ask Fukuda to come over. Daughter was going through enough and…and she just didn't need any extra stress. She was suffering and she didn't need to be stressed and….and his thoughts were still foggy. Fukuda could fix that. Fukuda could fix that so he was going to see him. That was all. It was…it was nice to be out of the house. He knew that he had spent the whole day inside with Daughter, he had memories of their day together, so he should not have been so startled when he looked out the window and saw that the sun had gone down…and night had come. He knew that he should not have been startled….
But he had been.
He had put his head down onto Daughter's stomach, closed his eyes, and then he woke up hunched over with his back killing him and Daughter sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner with Son. They had pizza. She had gotten him one with all of the toppings, because really what was the point of pizza without toppings, but he just…he had eaten so much already and…and he could remember being ravenously hungry and…and he just…he needed a moment. He needed space. He needed to put some space between them…just a bit of space…just a few houses of space…not because he was angry with her but…God…he had said so much…
And he didn't even fully remember what he had said.
That was the worst part. He remembered feeling very good, he remembered not caring that he had lost control, and he remembered….well he had no idea the specifics of what he had said but he knew that he hadn't censored himself and…and he had spoken in circles and he tended to do when he did not censor himself…and Daughter had heard all of it and…
And he just needed to put some space between the two of them.
Which was what had brought him to Fukuda's house. Well they were all his houses, he was the President after all, but this was the one that Fukuda lived in. He never wanted to live right next door and Fukuda could understand that. They had spent all of university living right on top of each other, it was good to have some space, and right now…well he knew that he needed some space but…but also he knew that he needed to get his back sorted out and his head sorted out too. So he just…well he wanted to just let himself in, and he could have if he wanted to, but that would have been rude. He knocked on the door and waited. He could feel Fukuda, he knew that he was home, and he just…he really needed to see Fukuda…
And he hated needing people.
He didn't have to wait long, he knew objectively that it hadn't been a long time, but it felt like a long time. It felt like time was creeping along as slowly as humanly possible. Just one click and then another and then another. He almost looked down at his watch before he realized that he hadn't worn one in years. He had a phone now, and he had been about to pull it out of his pocket, when the door opened suddenly…and there was Fukuda.
"Fukuda, my back is killing me. Fix it." Said Suzuki. There. It was best to get right to the point, like when they had been children. When they had been younger they had visited each other often and Suzuki had always gotten right to the point of his visits. He would knock on Fukuda's door and his mother would open it and he would say something like 'Is Fukuda-kun home? I want to socialize with him' or something like that. He knew that Fukuda was home, he always knew when Fukuda was home, but manners were very important. They had been then and they were now.
Which was why he took his shoes off when he came in.
He took his shoes off and faced them the right way as he entered. He couldn't believe himself sometimes. His back felt like someone had kicked him right in the middle of his spine, he had fallen asleep slumped over and now he was paying for it, and he just…he needed to get this fixed…but he was not in such a hurry that he forgot basic manners. He let himself be led into the living room, just like his own only not blue, and he was sat down on a couch. Overly soft. That was how Fukuda liked things, overly soft.
Maybe because he didn't have to worry about his back.
He looked about ten or so years older than he actually was. Maybe more. Suzuki didn't know. At some point Fukuda had just stopped aging. Suzuki on the other hand…he would feel time taking it's toll. Time did tend to destroy your body and eventually steal your soul after all. First it stole your ability to sleep slumped over. He had been able to spend entire nights slumped over his desk when he had been a child and later on slumped over in the library when he got to university. Now…well now he had to pay for it…
But at least he had Fukuda around to fix it.
"There you go, Suzuki, that should feel better….but there's only so much I can do. You know that I-" said Fukuda. Suzuki…this was odd. This was odd and he just…well he had to tread carefully. He knew Suzuki and he never knew him to…well to come to him, physically, like this. Suzuki had come to him without even calling…like they were kids. He'd just about had a heart attack when he felt Suzuki coming, just like they were kids, because…well it was…a lot…
All of it.
He was…he smelled like…well like Shigeko. Skunky blackberries…and he just…needed to keep calm. He had spent the day with Shigeko, which made sense she was going through a lot, but to…well even to just be near her when she smoked. He knew how Suzuki felt about regular smoking…and he also knew that Suzuki knew better than to smoke…because they had gone to university together and he remembered what had happened when he and Suzuki had tried smoking….all of what had happened…and so much could have gone wrong….
Fukuda…had no choice but to deal with this…and that was what he was going to do. Deal with this.
"You can't reverse the aging process, I'm well aware of that. Thank you for fixing my back. I'll be leaving you alone now. Goodnight." Said Suzuki. He got up…too quickly. He so wished that there was some way to reverse the aging process….but at least the brain fog was gone. At least he could think again. At least he could…he still couldn't fully remember. He could remember that he had been very happy and warm and at peace and…and also he remembered the state that the house had been in. He had just gotten the house put back in order…and now it was a mess…but at least not destroyed….so that was good. That was….something.
"Wait…do you want to stay for dinner?" asked Fukuda. He needed to keep Suzuki here just a little longer, just long enough to be able to understand what had happened, because right now his mind was going to a terrible place. He was thinking that Suzuki had done the stupidest thing that he could have possibly done. He knew Suzuki and he knew that Suzuki had spent thirty years going on and on and on about how important it was to keep control….
And he knew that he could lose control, easily, when he got up to…what his daughter got up to.
"What are you eating?" asked Suzuki. He…maybe wanted to stay. Maybe he wanted to…to put some space between himself and his children. Son had been extremely unpleasant that morning and Daughter…well he and Daughter had spent the day together…and it had been a very good day…at least he got the feeling that he had. That was all that he had, feelings, not memories…not clear ones. He remembered holding her and talking to her and…and that was what he had enjoyed and…and also he just…he remembered that he had run his mouth…and he had no idea how she felt about that….about what he had said…
So maybe he should just have stayed and had dinner with Fukuda.
"Pork curry." Said Fukuda. He wished that Suzuki had given him some warning that he would just be showing up out of the blue…and that he had been, possibly, smoking with his eleven year old Daughter…absurd. The thought was completely absurd. An eleven year old girl getting her forty four year old father high. It was completely absurd and….and he could have laughed if this hadn't been so real and so serious and…
And this was his life.
This was what his life had become. This wasn't so different than what his life had been, before, when they had kids. Suzuki and him had shared more meals together than they had apart…and especially after crises…and what had happened with Shigeko had been a crisis. The massive freak out from earlier and also, maybe, him smoking with her. He knew what it felt like, curing intoxication, and maybe he had just been too near her when she had been smoking. Youi could get high from that, right? He honestly had no idea. He had never been able to get intoxicated as easily as other people so it had never really been his scene…or Suzuki's…he should have known better…
He was supposed to be the smart one out of the two of them.
"No thank you. The children have pizza…but I'm not even hungry. I was ravenous earlier, even more so than when I had been growing, and now…well now I feel vaguely, and unpleasantly, full." Said Suzuki. He really didn't want to eat….and also he wasn't a fan of curry. He would eat it if he had to but he preferred omelets…anything with eggs….but also he just was not that hungry. He had eaten too much…and also unripe berries…which he should not have been eating. He should have watched what he had eaten. Unsweet cheesecake and unripe berries…what was wrong with him? It was like his mind had completely left his body, he had completely taken leave of his senses, and now…well not he had no idea what he wanted to do…
But he knew that he did not want to eat pork curry.
"That's weird. It's not like you to skip dinner." Said Fukuda. He stood up, too, and…and he just….well he could just come out and ask Suzuki if he had been smoking. It wasn't like he was going to lie, he didn't know how to lie, but he could get very pissed off if Fukuda asked him something that he wouldn't want to answer….and his aura had been hanging over everything earlier…and it was still hanging around…and that could have been residual from smoking or he could have been about to explode…this was uncharted territory…and Fukuda had no idea what to do…
So he would just do his best and hope that nobody wound up dead.
"I know. I've been…very odd today…but thank you for fixing that. Getting rid of the fog. I can think clearly again…so thank you." Said Suzuki. Daughter wanted him to thank people, she liked it when he thanked people, and he…he liked making her happy. Also it was polite and he knew how to be polite. He knew that he had to be polite. He knew…he knew that he had to think about what he did and said…and he knew that he just…the fog was gone and he could think again and…and he was going to stop thinking about….about everything. Tomorrow. He would think about it tomorrow or….or the next day…or now…he didn't know.
"You're welcome…and…listen, you can live your life however you want to-" said Fukuda. He knew that he was on dangerous ground but he had to say something. Suzuki….well he was a pushover when it came to Shigeko. He hated telling her what to do…and really who could tell her what to do? Well her own father but he was more like a partner than a father…and she could do whatever she wanted…but she should not have been dragging her father into it…and she had BETTER not have been dragging Sho into all of that too.
Not that he knew what he could even do about this…but he could at least…talk to Suzuki…if that would even do anything.
"I know that I can." Said Suzuki. He did not like being told how to live his life…and he knew that Fukuda was going to tell him not to sleep slumped over like he had. He was going to tell him, again, that he was getting older and that he needed to take better care of himself. He knew that he shouldn't have been sleeping slumped over and he didn't need anyone telling him that even if it did come from a place of concern. A place of overstepping concern.
"And I know that you can too but just…a word of advice? As someone who's known you for most of your life?" asked Fukuda. He was standing in front of Suzuki…but there was some distance between them. There had been distance between them for some time, if he felt like being philosophical, but this was not the time or the place for philosophy….or misplaced nostalgia. There had been a time, years and years ago, when Suzuki had come back from some date he had been on with some woman who didn't matter anymore and he had dragged Fukuda out of bed, sat him down on the living room couch, and went over in great detail some math thing that Fukuda had not been able to comprehend. He had also made a complete mess out of their apartment, and every other apartment, and the next day everyone had been talking about the curious earthquake that had been localized around their building….and he should not have been nostalgic about that time….
Because, really, it could have been much worse than a small localized earthquake.
"Speak freely." Said Suzuki. He knew that a lecture was coming…and he would allow this. Fukuda was a healer, he made people better, and also he was something of a worrier. Sort of like Hatori was. He wondered how they were getting on these days. Maybe he could go and ask Hatori. He…he could have gone home…but also he could have spent time with Hatori…and if he was going around visiting people….well maybe he could visit Hatori too…
Or maybe he could just go home. He didn't know. He'd figure it out later.
"Maybe getting high with Shigeko isn't the best thing to do." Said Fukuda. There. He had bit the bullet. He but the bullet and just…got it out there. He kept his aura still. He kept his aura very still and tried not to brace himself. He didn't know how to put up a barrier even though most espers could, but sometimes he felt like he was trying to. It might have just been an instinct. Well he could ignore it. He had gotten good, over the years, at ignoring his instincts no matter how right they had been.
"I don't follow." Said Suzuki. He knew what it meant, to get high, but…well he hadn't been. He had done that, before, back in university. Very thin cigarettes which were not cigarettes…and also he remembered what it had been like…and the brain fog had been…well it was like that but…well he just did not follow.
"I mean…we tried a couple of times back when we were kids and…well you know that things like that don't agree with you. You lose control and…and I guess that she doesn't because she's not yours by blood so her body works differently but…just maybe don't get high with her." said Fukuda. Shigeko…how she hadn't lost control and killed everyone yet was simply beyond him. She smoked and drank all the time and she was a very small girl, well not anymore, but still. It was amazing that she hadn't lost control and killed everyone. She could do it. The Eighth Division was a testament to that….and she knew how dangerous it was to lose control of her powers…so why would she just…just try and get her father involved in all of that.
"I…really don't follow." Said Suzuki. He knew Daughter and he knew that…well she knew better than to do something like that. Something that could make her lose control. He had been telling her for her entire life that she had to be careful not to lose control and…and she wouldn't…she would have told him if she was smoking something like that….right?
"Well…you were smoking with your daughter today, right?" said Fukuda. Maybe he had this whole thing wrong. Maybe he had just picked up the smell from her, or something, he didn't know what went on with them in that house during the day. He had been chained to a desk all day doing not only his work but Suzuki's too….so he had no idea what they had been getting up to.
"Vaping, which is different. She said so anyway…but what does that have to do with anything?" asked Suzuki. You couldn't vape marijuana. Fukuda was wrong. Daughter…she would not have done something like that. She knew that she needed to be careful not to…to just….to just play around like that. Mess with her control like that. She had destroyed the entire Eighth Division on accident just because she had been frightened…and he knew what it was to lose control and…and she knew that he could not lose control…the entire house had been painted blue because she had lost control…and so had he….and she knew better than that. He knew her and he knew that she knew better than that. She had to. She was his Daughter.
"You…know what she's vaping…right?" asked Fukuda. Could Suzuki have just not…realized it yet? He was smart…when it came to books…but he knew very little about anything other than…well academics and plotting to take over the world. Fukuda….he would have completely believed that Suzuki had no idea that his Daughter regularly smoked marijuana.
"She said hash oil." Said Suzuki. He…had no idea what that was but…but he would have noticed if she had gotten herself into that state and….and she would have told him if she had been planning on getting him into that state, too. She knew that he could not be in that state…or any state…and it would have made sense…due to how he had been acting…and….and also it didn't make sense because….she would not have…he just…he didn't know. He really didn't know.
"And you know that hash oil is just a very concentrated form of…well….marijuana….right?" asked Fukuda. He could have heard a pin drop. Well for a moment. He heard something drop…and then shatter…and now he had a mess to clean up…but at least Suzuki hadn't exploded so….well at least that was a victory….or something. He didn't know. He really…he had no idea what to do. Suzuki…hadn't known…and now he knew and Shigeko…well she was just like him and he had been very disloyal to her just now…if she expected his loyalty…but he was useful to her. There. He was useful to her so she wouldn't do anything to him…also Sho would never have let her do anything to him and she still loved Sho…so he would be fine….
"Obviously I did not…and…I have no idea why she would…do something like that." Said Suzuki after a moment. He needed to collect his thoughts. She had been smoking….she had been smoking those for YEARS now. He had seen her vaping…and she hadn't lied to him…but he felt vaguely like he had been lied to. Daughter…well she had told him the truth of what she was vaping but…but also she hadn't told him what it was…what it was composed of….
But he loved her and he could not be angry with her.
"She does it to control her powers, I heard, and probably just to get high. I mean I don't think that someone her age has any business getting high but, hey, I'm not a father and if you think that she's old enough to be making these choices then she's old enough to be making these choices." Said Fukuda. There. Now maybe that would be enough to keep Suzuki from…from punishing her…if they even still had that sort of relationship. He didn't know. He just knew that he was walking on a tightrope and any misstep would be the end of him. Shigeko on one side, Suzuki on the other, and him in the middle.
So, really, just another day for him.
"Yes…she….she is. Excuse me. Thank you very much for your help…but excuse me." Said Suzuki. He left. He remembered his shoes and he left. He needed….he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what he needed to do. Part of him wanted to take her and shake her and tell her that she was never to do that again. That she was playing with something that was not…not a plaything. Her mind was not a plaything and…and that brain fog was not good for her. That brain fog…it made it difficult to control her powers and…and he knew that it made it difficult to control his powers…and he had lost control. He had lost control and…and he hadn't even minded….and that….
That could have been dangerous.
He could have hurt her! She knew-no. No, she didn't know. She could not know. If she knew then he should have been angry with her but if she didn't know then there was no way that he could be angry with her. This was his Daughter and he loved her and when he loved someone he could not be angry with them. He was not angry with her. He was…he wasn't anything. Fukuda had made a point. Daughter was an adult now. She was…well reproductively she was an adult….and also she could make her own choices…
She was young but not a child.
She could…she knew her own body. She was not his blood. She was his but she was also not his. She was….she came from different people entirely. She had a physiology which was different from his and…and they may have had different power sets, similar but different, and…and they were both espers but she was an entirely different person. She was a different person and…and he was not angry with her for what she had done…or what she had shared with him….
Because he loved her and he could not be angry with her.
Yes. There. All of his feelings of anger had drifted away as he came into his house. The children had finished dinner now. Son was in the bath, he always took a bath after dinner, and Daughter was in the kitchen rinsing plates. They had a dishwasher now, a blue one which had been very hard to find, and she had to rinse the plates before she put them in. He remembered that…and he…he was happy that she…she could do all of this on her own. He would not have been able to run a household at eleven, he had been too busy with his own things, but she…she took good care of her family and….and he could…he trusted her judgment.
He trusted his Daughter.
"Hi dad. There's leftover pizza in the refrigerator. I can heat it up if you get hungry." Said Mob as she rinsed her and Sho's plates. She hoped that dad wasn't planning on picking her up and carrying her to the couch again. She loved him, she really did, but right now…right now she just wanted to be on her own…or at least with Sho. Just…she'd been with dad all day. It had been…a lot.
"Daughter….I'm not hungry…and….do you smoke marijuana?" asked Suzuki. There. He had asked her. She…her aura didn't flare….and she was calm and…well he had been expecting something else. Denial. Defensiveness. Just…not calmness….but then again what did he know about people?
"Yeah…and if you want to smoke with me again then we can do it tomorrow, ok?" asked Mob. She got the feeling that she had another Sho on her hands…and she didn't want another Sho on her hands. She loved her brother and she loved to take care of him…but he was her brother, not her dad, and she didn't want to teach her own dad moderation.
"I…no thank you just….I had a nice day with you….Shigeko. Goodnight." Said Suzuki. Shigeko was older. She was older and she knew….she knew her own…self….and she could take care of herself. He didn't know. He was going to bed.
His back….was killing him again.