In six years of schooling I've never had someone avoid my eye so much. Mind you, I must have glared at her often enough. I took my frustration out on Snape (who deserved it for calling my mother a mudblood) and on the Quidditch Pitch. I maimed the Slytherin Keeper when I ditched the quaffle a little too hard and managed to slam him between the legs. And I dislocated one of their Chaser's arms. He deserved it. They all did. But I made sure that Evans knew how pissed I was at her. She'd walk past me and I'd glare at her so hard that she'd flinch.

It just seemed like everything was going wrong. Sirius blew up at me because apparently my treatment of Evans was reflecting on Susan and Susan was 'upset'. In other words, she was whining and complaining and bitching. My grades started to slip and I got detention three times in the one week. I smashed two ink bottles, lost the Marauders Map and spent and hour frantically searching for it before finding it in Peter's top drawer and… yeah. Things were bad.

So I started hanging around the guys less and less. I just wanted time alone and something told me that things could easily get worse. It just seemed like no matter what I did, I managed to screw it up. It just all kept on going wrong.

It was heading into Autumn (yes, this all happened in the first few months of my seventh year), and for some reason, on the coldest night yet, I couldn't sleep. I checked the map and slumped my way down to what had looked like an empty common room. The fire was burning low and, with an oath, I walked over to it and stabbed at t angrily with the poker, setting lose a shower of gold sparks.

'Hello?'

I swung around automatically, eyes narrowed, focused, poker sitting firmly in my hand. Blinking, I stumbled back and dropped the heavy bar with a clang on the floor. Ok. I could have impaled Evans. Nice.

She looked like I'd slapped her. I rubbed my hands roughly over my cheeks. 'I'm sorry… I didn't think anyone was down here…'

'Her mouth fell open then snapped shut again. Looking at her hard, I realized that she was shaking wildly. Standing up straight, I gently gripped her arm and eased her down into the sofa. She was trembling like a leaf.

'You ok?'

'Had… a nightmare, then… I don't know, suddenly being confronted with the business end of a poker in the middle of the night isn't heaps of fun… Oh… not that kind of poker, by the way.' A ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

I sat down in the sofa beside her and pouted into the fire. 'Yeah, sorry about that, you weren't the only one who got a shock. Wasn't really expecting a redheaded ghost to appear behind me.' I grinned halfheartedly. She gave another weak grin and settled back into the sofa.

'So, why couldn't you sleep?' she asked, after a while.

'Dunno. Had a bad week, just felt like stabbing a young woman with a poker to vent my fury. You?'

'About the same. No, I don't really sleep all that well.'

I blinked and looked at her. She never looked tired. As if she knew what I was thinking, she nodded, eyes blank. 'I'm used to it. After Dad died I never really slept much. My sister always said it was my fault.' She bit her lip and stared up into the darkness as if she were trying to see the ceiling. 'I guess it was.'

Alright, now for six years I'd believed Lily Evans to be this absolute prickly bitch. I wanted her because I couldn't have her. Fair enough, I know. Just one of those teenage male conquest things. It sounds bad, but like I said before, taming the shrew. But to find the ice queen melted into a puddle right next to me was a shock. It also meant I had to take a hold of myself and my mind, behave like the gentleman I was brought up to be. So, I thought hard and said the most intelligent thing that my strong, well ordered mind could think of.

'Huh?'

Lily shut her mouth tight and stared determinedly into space. I knew I wasn't what she'd call her best friend so for a moment or two, I was kind of stuck at what to do. Then she shivered. Without actually realizing I had done it, the next second I was sitting back down, she had a blanket wrapped firmly around her too thin body and her shocked eyes boring into mine. And all I could think of was 'please stop staring at me, please stop, please…' only I hadn't the faintest idea why I couldn't stand her staring at me like that.

We sat there in silence for a while before I eased myself up. I smiled weakly down at her and muttered something along the lines of 'get some sleep.'

I didn't count on her hugging me.

I also didn't count on the grin plastered all over my face as, half an hour later, I finally slipped into sleep.