Tebori tattoos were the traditional way of doing tattoos in Japan.
All you needed was sharp bamboo strips and ink. Sho didn't know where to find bamboo, that had been a setback, but l a safety pin taped to a pencil worked just as well. He had made sure to get the special ink, though, that had been easy. He had been meaning to order more art supplies. He had Googled, he knew to use real ink, and he knew that if someone saw that he had ink then they would just think that it was for his art. That was why he didn't go out and actually look for a bamboo stick. If someone found it then they would have been all 'Sho, what the fuck is wrong with you?' and 'Sho, do you have brain worms or something?' or maybe something else. He wasn't stupid, he knew that he couldn't let anyone know that he was doing this.
Big sis would freak out.
He knew her and he knew that she would lose her shit if she found out what he was doing. Even if it was for art. Dad would freak out too….maybe. Sho really didn't know. Dad didn't seem to care what he did so long as he didn't bother big sis. She was the one who dad cared about….and he didn't care what dad cared about. He only cared about not worrying big sis. That was why she and dad couldn't know about this. He would maybe freak out because she would, most likely, be all worried about him if she knew what he was doing. Not that he was doing anything wrong. Tebori was the Japanese way of doing tattoos and he was Japanese so, really, there was nothing wrong with what he was doing.
Nothing wrong at all.
He was doing this the right way. He had made sure that the needle was good and sharp, and he had rinsed it with warm water too, and he was using real ink so it would last, and he had drawn a stencil first. He hadn't had any of the stencil paper so he had just drawn on himself with a Sharpie and now he was stabbing over it with the needle. He knew what he was doing. It wasn't hard at all. He had no idea why Shimazaki thought that his friend was so cool.
There wasn't anything hard about doing tattoos.
"God damn it!" said Sho. Ok, so maybe the hard part was stabbing yourself over and over again. He…well he remembered…well the pins had been in his arms and then they hadn't been, back at the lab, so this…wasn't so bad. This was just one pin and it wasn't in that deep….but sometimes his hands shook really bad and he went in too deep…like now. He cursed and wiped the blood away from his arm with a paper towel. He could have used his powers for this but he had better control with his actual hands.
Mostly.
Sometimes his hands shook and he went in too deep…like now…or too far…like now. He was trying to do a sleeve on his left arm and, so far, only managed to do one big dragon. Dragons were cool. Shimazaki had those and he was cool…and he would think that Sho was cool too. Even if he couldn't see them. Well he would be able to know that they were there, he would have been able to feel them, because they were all raised up and red…but that was normal for tattoo. You had to give them time to settle. Sho had been worried the first time that he had seen Shimazaki getting one done, how it had all been bloody and red and how it hadn't looked like anything at all, but he said that he had been told that they all started off looking bad but then when the ink settled and you healed they looked better.
So Sho's would looked better once he healed.
Sho's didn't look….bad. Ok, drawing was easier, actual drawing, not sticking and poking himself with a safety pin…but that was ok. Everyone had to start somewhere and this was where Sho was starting…with a big dragon that took up his entire arm. He had been working on this for a week now. He had the outline mostly done and now he was trying to do the detail on the head. He made sure that the head of the dragon covered his wrist and that the dragon's spine went along the little pin scars that he had on his arm. That way nobody would be able to see his scars. Well nobody would be able to see this anyway, not until he was an adult and nobody could tell him what to do with his skin, but…well he would rather have had cool tattoos covering up his scars then just a bunch of scars on their own.
And these were cool! They were very cool!
He didn't just have the dragon. He had done a practice tattoo on his leg of a star. Stars were easy. He did a little star on his leg…and he didn't know what the little star would turn into…but it was something! It was proof that he could do this. Sure he could never wear shorts again, or short sleeved shirts, but he had never been able to wear that stuff ever again anyway because of his scars. Well he was allowed to wear that stuff around the house but…well he saw how big sis looked at his scars. He knew that they bothered her…and he didn't want to bother her so he just wore long pants and love sleeves everywhere.
She was going to be so surprised when they grew up and she saw all of his cool tattoos.
But only when they grew up. Not now. If he showed her now then she would be upset. He felt her aura getting closer. He reached out and held the door shut with his powers. He knew that she probably wouldn't let herself in, at some point they had stopped being naked around each other, but he also knew that there was a first time for everything. He also knew that this would not be the first time that she realized that he was covered in tattoos.
Well not covered yet…but he was getting there.
"Sho? Are you ready to come out now?" asked big sis as she knocked at the door. Sho stopped poking himself. He couldn't poke himself and talk to her at the same time, she got worried, and he didn't need her poking around him while he was poking himself. That was way too much poking.
"No, not for a while." Said Sho. He didn't understand her sometimes. She used to beg him every single night to get in the tub and now that he was in the tub, well the bathroom, she asked him every hour if he was ready to come out. He would come out when he came out. He would come out of the bathroom when he was done…or at least when he couldn't take being poked anymore. He had no idea what time that would be but probably not for a while.
"Ok. I washed your favorite pajamas, the green ones with the anime hamsters on them, and I'll just leave them outside the door for you." Said big sis. She was always so nice to him…and he was always…well not always but…well it felt like he was always lying to her. He lied to her about baby sis…and a lot of other stuff….now he was just adding to the pile of lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. He wasn't in the tub like she had thought he was…he was lying about that….but he just…he couldn't get in the tub. If he got in the tub he would end up washing the ink away and then he would end up having to start all over…and that was why he didn't want to get into the tub. No other reason. He just…could not get into the tub….
She would understand, later, when she saw how cool he looked.
But not now. Now he would just…keep on working. She had washed his favorite pajamas and…and those had a t-shirt to them…but he could just turn up the air conditioner extra high and wear a long sleeved shirt underneath. There. The house had been a lot cooler lately, anyway, since dad had painted it blue. Maybe it was just a trick of his brain. Maybe he could trick big sis into thinking that he was just wearing an extra shirt for the sake of wearing an extra shirt…though he did hate lying to her….
But sometimes you had to lie to the people you loved.
"Cool. I'll be out in a minute." Said Sho. He was going to be way more than a minute. Tattooing took a while and he would be in there…well he knew that he wasn't going to get anywhere near close to done in even an hour…but he would be a while. He wasn't going to get done tonight, or tomorrow, but he would stay in there for as long as he could. She would be back in an hour or so and then he would get out. Not a minute. He was lying to her again…but sometimes the best thing to do was to tell a lie. Like what Fukuda said about making pragmatic choices. Sometimes you just had to choose the least terrible option and the least terrible option here was lying to his big sis…who did everything for him…and loved him very much.
She loved him more than anything else in the whole world….
"Ok." Said big sis. She said it like she loved him…and she trusted him…and she was right outside the door like…like someone who loved him and trusted him. He could still feel her. She wasn't moving. He wanted her to move. He wanted her to move and to go away and…and well not to go away but…but to give him some privacy. Yeah. What, he couldn't have any privacy in the bathroom? He…was not going to yell that at her. That was something that the old Sho was do. The little kid Sho. He was a big kid now…well big kids did not go around calling themselves big kids…he was almost eleven now and almost eleven year olds did not go around yelling at their sisters. So he was not going to yell at his sister. He was going to be nice and…and nicely ask her why she was still there.
In the nicest way possible.
"You need anything else?" asked Sho. Ok, so that hadn't come out as nicely as he had wanted it to…but it was still nicer than what he had been saying in his head. He didn't know what was wrong with him. He was nice on the outside but on the inside, inside of his head, he was still just a big jerk. He shouldn't have been the way to her. She loved him and she wasn't doing anything to him but standing outside the door with his favorite pajamas fresh from the dryer….and she could have just let him wear the ones he had brought in with him….she was always thinking about him and stuff….
And he was always lying to her.
"No…I'm just….you're in the water right?" asked big sis. Sho rolled his eyes…but then stopped himself. She was always worried about him taking a bath and that was just…a normal thing to be worried about. She just didn't want him to smell bad. Sho, when he had been younger, he had been able to go days and days without bathing…but now if he did that then he would end up smelling bad…and he had no idea why he smelled bad now but…well she was right to be worried about that. She was right to be worried about him…and suspicious too….because he was lying to her.
"Of course I am." Said Sho as he used his powers to splash the water around in the tub. He was lying to her again…and it was lies on top of lies on top of lies…so why not just put another lie on top of that? He just…this was a pragmatic choice. Better to have her think that he was taking a bath than to have her worry about him.
"Ok. I was just wondering….because I couldn't hear the water moving….and you move around a lot in the water because you're scared of it-" said big sis. He was not scared of the water. He was not scared of getting water on his face…and he was not scared of poking himself in the arm, either. He just…he was not scared of anything!
"I'm not scared of the water! I'm not scared of anything!" said Sho. He shut his mouth as soon as he was done talking. He had been such a jerk….again. He said things that he should have only thought….well that should have stayed in his head. He should have kept his jerk thoughts in his jerk head where they belonged. He shouldn't have said that to his sister…his sister who loved him. His sister who loved him enough to wash his favorite pajamas for him even though he had plenty of clean pajamas already….and also even though he had lied to her so many times…but she didn't know that he was lying to her…because that was the point of lies…..
He was getting tired of the lies.
"Ok….just…I'm very happy that you're taking baths on your own now. I'll leave you alone, though, so you can finish. I love you." Said big sis. She said that all the time because she loved him. He had no idea how many times, even, that she had said that to him….and she was going to say it again later…and here he was lying to her like a liar…and he didn't want to be a liar…
But sometimes you had to make pragmatic choices.
"I love you too." Said Sho. That was not a lie. That was the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help him God. He loved her and….and he wanted to tell her that truth. About this. About something that he could tell her about. He could tell her about this and she would be worried, and probably freaked out, but she wouldn't be hurt. If he told her the truth about baby sis…she would have been hurt….and if he told her the truth about other stuff about him…well then she wouldn't be mad but…but he still didn't want to tell her about that.
He wanted to tell her, though, about the tebori that he was doing.
He could have…but he didn't. He could feel her walking away. He could hear her walking away and he could feel her aura getting farther and farther away. He could have told her but he didn't. No, he just…he picked up he pencil again. The one that he had taped the safety pin to. He dipped the end in the blood and went back to poking himself. He shook, a little, just a little. He shook because…well because his brain was forgetting just a little bit that he could move his arms. He could move his arms and he could have gotten up, if he had wanted to, and he could have walked around…or walked away….he could have just gotten up and walked away and…and also it was just a little prick. Nothing bad. It was just a little bit of a pinprick….
Over and over again.
But he was fine. That was not a lie. He lied enough to other people, to his big sister, that he did not need to lie to himself too. He was fine. The pricking didn't bother him and…and the water in the tub didn't bother him either. It was in the tub where it belonged. He was on the bathroom counter. The water was nowhere near his face….and the pin might have been pricking him but…well it didn't hurt. Not that much. Not when he could get away. He wasn't lying to himself, not like he had lied to big sis, and he just…he didn't need to be lying to anyone else…especially himself…
But especially his big sis.
He stopped what he was doing. The dragon on his arm would have to be unfinished for now. He just…he knew that Shimazaki would have thought that he was cool if he knew that Sho had copied, sort of, one of his tattoos. He knew that he wanted Shimazaki to think that he was cool…but he also knew that big sis…well she should have thought that he cool no matter what he did because she was like that…but he just…he wanted to make her happy. He had to do something nice for her. He knew what he could do for her.
He picked up the Sharpie.
When you loved a girl you got her picture tattooed on you. Shimazaki…well he had loved, probably, the naked girl that had been on his arm before….not that Sho would have wanted to have a naked tattoo of his big sister on his arm. That would have been really fucking weird. No, he would get a tattoo of big sis on his arm, above the dragon, and it would be her with her clothes on because he wasn't a weird late night only anime guy. He would do his big sis first…and then his little sis…but later. Not now. Even though he loved her….
He would only do big sis for now.
He flipped through his phone and found a good reference picture. He could draw better than he could poke…but he was getting better at poking. Maybe he would be better than he had been before. He was better at drawing things that he loved and he really loved big sis…well he loved little sis too but it was big sis who could be tattooed onto him first. Well poked onto him. He was getting better and better at poking himself….and he would do a good job of this.
Tebori tattoos were the traditional way of doing tattoos in Japan and he was Japanese so, of course, he would do a tebori tattoo…and of course he would get one of his big sis. He loved his sister, both of them, more than anyone else in the world.
He did.