Sho could be very helpful when he wanted to be.
Which was always. He was always helpful. Really. He was always helpful and now…well now he was being especially helpful. Shimazaki needed help unpacking and usually Minegishi helped him with this…but he didn't need their help. Sho was awesome. Sho knew what he was doing. So what if he couldn't read braille so well…he was learning…and he could tell which box said shirts and which said pants and all of that other stuff. He could help and…and helping had nothing to do with love reasons. Just…the more that he helped then the more time that why would have together to have fun.
And there was a lot of fun to be had in Osaka.
"Ok, so when we're finished with this we can go to the big arcade, right?" asked Sho as he filled up the pants box with pants….and he knew that those dots said pants…and he was not wrong.
"You can go. I stood in front of an arcade cabinet once. It didn't really appeal to me." Said Shimazaki as he went through his desk drawers. He knew that Sho was messing up his clothes and he decided that it was best not to say anything. Let the kid think that he was helping and let him mess up something that wasn't too serious. He could fix all of that later without Toshi's help. The desk, well that was the most important thing.
He did NOT need Sho getting his little hands on any of this stuff. For his own sake.
"They've got pinball and crane games and stuff that doesn't have a screen. Come on, it'll be fun…or we could do something else. Whatever you want." Said Sho. Shimazaki was sitting at his desk, his back was to him, but Sho could feel Shimazaki watching him. He knew that he was listening and watching and he'd done his best to sound normal there, like he didn't care what they did, and he really didn't…he just wanted to be near Shimazaki for…friendship reasons. That was all. Yeah, he was the only person who Sho could hang out with. Big sis was hanging out with Minegishi, Shibata was getting all of his stuff unpacked and he was really serious about getting the kitchen just right, Hatori was friends with dad now so hanging out with him would have been super weird, and Fukuda…well he was still kind of freaked out about the whole barrel roll thing.
Even though it had been super cool.
So, really, by default it was just him and Shimazaki. That was the reason that Sho wanted to hang out with him…nothing more. He was falling out of love with him, he really was, and he was making great progress. He hadn't even thought about Shimazaki in at least a hundred hours. No, every time he thought about Shimazaki and how awesome it would have been to hold his hand or…well other stuff…he just remembered how itchy his skin was and he stopped. Like there were ants living under his skin…and they were mad about something….
Sort of like the time he'd stuck his hand in the fire ant hill because Shimazaki dared him to…yeah…just like that.
"How about we do something about the constant scratching? You're driving me crazy with that." Said Shimazaki. Sho was scratching again…and he had been scratching nonstop since Shimazaki didn't even know when. It felt like he was covered in…well he didn't want to stare too closely because he did not need to pour gasoline into that fire….but it looked like he was covered in…something. What? Had he stuck his arm into a fire ant hill again? Because Shimazaki hadn't been serious that one time he'd dared Sho to do that…Sho just took things way too seriously sometimes. That was…not something he liked to think about. The amount of power he had over Sho. He could have made that kid jump off the roof if he felt like it…but he didn't. No, right now all he felt like doing was getting him to stop that scratching.
Because, really, it was getting kind of annoying.
"I-I'm not scratching." Said Sho. He had been scratching but…well he wasn't scratching now and that was what mattered. Why did Shimazaki have to notice these things?! Why couldn't this be one of those days when he had drank too much or smoked too much and Sho had to be his seeing eye kid? He had a whole desk full of stuff to do so why didn't he just go and do whatever was in that desk until he couldn't even tell if Sho was in the room or not?
"Yes you are, I can tell. You've been doing that for a while and it's starting to drive me crazy." Said Shimazaki. Well not crazy but repetitive motions like that got pretty annoying pretty fast and Sho was many things but he was not annoying. Also there was a part of Shimazaki that was, well, worried he supposed. Sho had been scratching for a while, a long while, and that wasn't normal at all. He was scratching like…well Shimazaki didn't want to think about what Sho was scratching like….and also there was no way that he would have been scratching like that because the worst that he carried with him was coke.
"You're already crazy." Said Sho sticking out his tongue. Maybe Shimazaki would take the bait and they could have a cursing match or something, anything, anything at all so that they could stop talking about all of this. What, he wasn't allowed to scratch? This was a free country until dad took over the world so, yeah, he could scratch as much as he wanted to…and even after dad took over the world he could still scratch. He could scratch until all of his skin fell off. He was the future king of the world after all.
"No, I'm sane and everyone else is crazy, especially you. Now come on. How about I have Toshi take a look at that. They know about skin." Said Shimazaki. They knew what to do about itchy skin, dry skin, infected skin, oily skin…they knew a lot about skin. More than Shimazaki did, anyway. They would know what to do for Sho. They weren't his biggest fan, and Shimazaki didn't blame them one bit, but they wouldn't just let the kid suffer. Toshi had a real soft spot when it came to kids. They didn't want kids of their own….and Shimazaki could accept that….but they did have a soft spot for kids. Even this one.
"No way. I'd rather you scratch my skin off for me with a cheese grater than go and see them about anything." said Sho. He wasn't exaggerating. See his mortal enemy about this? See the person who was trying to take Shimazaki's friendship from him? No way. He would rather have gone into the kitchen, taken the cheese grater, and had Shimazaki scratch off all of his skin. He couldn't do it himself, of course, because he was too scared….like a baby…but he would have had Shimazaki or anyone else do that if it meant that he didn't have to see Minegishi.
"Someone's certainly being dramatic." Said Shimazaki. Where did he even come up with this stuff? A cheese grater. A deli slicer, now that was good for removing skin, or even just getting some chef's knives and fileting someone like a fish. A cheese grater was just unnecessarily slow and cruel. Not that he would be reliving any parts of his formative years with that kid, no, he much preferred the old teleport and drop to all of that…and also he liked the kid and he had no reason to do any of that anyway.
"No I'm not. I just don't want to see them. They don't like me anyway." Said Sho. Minegishi would just be a jerk to him like they were to everyone, anyway, if he asked them for help...and he didn't even need any help! He was fine. This was just how tattoos healed. He'd seen Shimazaki's healing before. They were always red and bloody before they healed. That was just how tattoos worked. Sho's were still red but they had stopped bleeding so that was good progress.
"Toshi would not be a jerk to you...not in any serious way, anyway. Besides, you deserve it. You did kind of kick down their door and completely invade their privacy. So, yeah. Don't put all of this on Toshi." Said Shimazaki. This kid…he did not understand this kid one bit. Ok, so he didn't like Toshi for the obvious reasons but that was no reason to sit there and suffer. Besides, Sho knew that the two of them could never be anything other than just friends…right? Shimazaki had managed to get that through his head, he must have, he had said it enough times. What did he have to do? Tattoo it onto Sho's eyelids so he got the message?
"I just don't want so see them, ok? Is that so hard to understand?" asked Sho. What did he have to do? Start screaming? He didn't like Minegishi, they didn't like him, and he didn't need their help with anything anyway. He was speaking perfect Japanese. What other languages did Shimazaki need to hear it in?
"Well then your only other option is to go and see Fukuda…and I don't think that anyone wants to see Fukuda. Not even Fukuda himself." Said Shimazaki. Well the kid was certainly in a bad mood…and Shimazaki had no idea why. Well he was extremely jealous of Toshi…but he had better not have been turning into a moody teenager or anything like that. He wasn't even eleven yet…and even when he did get to that age he needed to just…stay ten forever somehow. Yeah. This was a good age…even if he could be a little asshole sometimes.
"Yeah he can be kind of a jerk sometimes….and he tells secrets…but I don't need to see him either! My skin is fine and I don't need Fukuda or Minegishi or anyone." Said Sho. He knew that Fukuda would just erase all of his progress if he knew what Sho had done to himself. He always erased tattoos when he healed skin…and he was not going to start again. Even with his powers tattoos took a long time to do and he was not going to sit there and poke himself for another million hours.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you say Sho." Said Shimazaki with a shake of his head. He could sense the kid sticking his tongue out at him. He stuck his out right back. He could also sense the kid scratching at his arm again….and really that was getting to be annoying…and for both of them, too. God, kids were too hard to understand sometimes. Like he was talking to a tiny little alien that had no sense of self preservation. When something was wrong, when you got injured or something, you had someone fix it for you. That wasn't a hard thing to understand. Even when he'd been a kid and worse at getting his barrier up in time he'd never been to…proud or whatever Sho was right now…to get himself stitched up. He always got stitched up and then kept on going…but Sho was not him. He had his own world in his own mind and he operated off of his own logic…and Shimazaki really wished that he'd shared some of that logic with him so he knew how to deal with this.
Maybe this was why Toshi didn't want them to have any kids.
"It really is! It's fine! My skin is normal and I'm normal and-and-and you're the one not being normal…not trusting me and stuff." said Sho. That was the part, well one of the parts, that sucked the most. Shimazaki didn't trust him that he was fine. He had this idea in his head that Sho couldn't tell when he was and was not fine. Like he was a little kid or something. Like he was a baby or something. Like he was baby sis and he couldn't tell when he needed to stop climbing on things or trying to eat crayons and stuff. Well Sho was not a little kid or a baby. He was almost eleven and he could handle himself.
"Alright then. If your skin is really as fine as you say it is then you should be able to go a whole minute without scratching it…and in fact I'll set a timer right now." Said Shimazaki. He grabbed his phone and told it to set a timer for one minute. God, this was a crazy future age they were living in. He decided to marvel at the technological progress his phone had made by going through his messages to himself. He had said a lot…of stuff that he had no memory of saying…and also he needed more toothpaste…but Toshi had taken care of that for him…
God, they were so great.
Once the kid got over this weirdly intense crush he had on him he would see how great Toshi was…and hopefully that happened sooner rather than later. He was sitting there trembling in place. He was reaching for his side and then stopping himself. Then he was reaching for his arm and then stopping himself. Then his leg. What was this kid COVERED IN? They felt like…he focused as best as he could and…yup. There was that gasoline he had been talking about. The kid's heart was pounding and he was getting that fluttery feeling in his stomach again….and Shimazaki wasn't too thrilled about that at all. This kid…God…he needed to meet some guys his own age or something….
And also he needed to get whatever those…cuts? Cuts. Those cuts he was covered in looked at….God…how many were there even? And….what WAS all of that?
"There! It's been a minute!" said Sho as the timer went off. He couldn't help it. It had been the longest minute of his life and he just…he had to scratch. He stuck a hand up his sleeve and scratched his arm. He stuck the other hand under his shirt and scratched his stomach. He knew that he probably looked really stupid but right now he just wanted the itching to end! He didn't care what happened! He just wanted this to be over and-
And now Shimazaki was next to him.
He was next to him and…and he took his wrist in his hand. He was a lot bigger than Sho…and of course Sho knew that Shimazaki was bigger than him, he wasn't stupid, but just…he was close and…and his whole hand could fit around Sho's wrist. He pulled Sho's hand out from his sleeve then reached up and felt his wrist and…and Sho couldn't move. He was stuck. It was like his body wasn't getting the message, his brain was figuring out that he had to move and his body was acting like it was the boss. His brain knew that he had to move but the rest of him….
The rest of him liked this…kind of a lot.
He was close and he smelled really good…really, really good. Sho leaned forward a little and he smelled the stuff Shimazaki put in his hair to get it to stand up like that. Not gel, no, something else. Sho had no idea what it was but it smelled good…and so did his cologne…and also…and he was just really close! He was really close and…and Sho…well not his lungs had stopped moving. Shimazaki was tracing up his arm and…and the only thing moving was the goldfish in his stomach and…and he just….he wanted the goldfish to stop and he wanted Shimazaki to stop but he also wanted Shimazaki to never stop and…and…
And he didn't even know!
"I don't even know what I'm feeling. Are these….cuts? Scrapes? I have no clue…but that is not how skin is supposed to feel. OK, yeah, you're seeing Toshi." Said Shimazaki. He knew fully well that he was the one responsible for lighting this fire, as much of a fire as a ten year old was capable of having, but he didn't care. That felt terrible. Just…raised lines and…and really unpleasant skin. God damn it Sho…and damn you Fukuda, too, for making the kid not want to see you. This was…not good. Shimazaki knew what an infected cut felt like…and this was it. It was hell going through that without medical care. Poor kid…but Toshi would know what to do. They knew about stuff like this.
"No way. I don't want to see Minegishi." Said Sho. First of all nobody was supposed to see his work until he was done and second of all they were his mortal enemy. They were his mortal enemy who sometimes gave him useful books but that didn't make them any less of his mortal enemy.
"Then go and see Fukuda." Said Shimazaki. God, how he hated being the responsible one…but somebody had to be ad he was the only adult between the two of them so this fell to him. Sort of like if he'd had a kid of his own. Yeah. There were these parts to having a kid, too, weren't there? He didn't like to think of these parts. He liked to think of the fun parts of having a kid, the parts where you got to do fun stuff all day and stuff, but yeah…this was also a part of having a kid…and he could do this…not that he knew for sure if he was having a kid or if he even wanted one….and that was something to be figured out on another day. Right now he had to get Sho all fixed up.
"No, I don't want to see him either." Said Sho
"Yeah, I know that he's an asshole but those cuts feel infected and, yeah, I'm not letting you walk around like that. If the scratching is driving me crazy then I can't even imagine what that must be like for you. I mean you're the one who actually has to live with that. Now come on, kid, Toshi or Fukuda. You decide." Said Shimazaki
"Neither. I'm fine. It's nothing." Said Sho. No way was he going to see anyone about this. He was fine. He was totally fine and...and what did Shimazaki know?! His skin was not infected. It was just really itchy and turned red and stuff. That was all. That was not an infection that was just…his skin healing after all the work he'd done. That was all. Work that Shimazaki could not know about yet. Work that nobody could know about yet.
"Sho, it's not nothing. Now come on. You can go and see Toshi on your own, or Fukuda, or I can pick you up and bring you to one of them. Which one is it going to be?" asked Shimazaki. He hated the way he sounded right now. He hated having to be this person, the person who had to be responsible and shit. He wanted to have fun but Sho was making it very hard on him…and he didn't even understand why. When you got hurt like this the thing to do was to get fixed up. There. That wasn't complicated at all.
"I'm not going anywhere." Said Sho crossing his arms. He scratched whatever skin eh could reach while his arms were crossed he was not going anywhere and if Shimazaki wanted him to see someone then he was going to have to take Sho himself.
So that was what he did.
"Ok then, looks like we're doing this the hard way." said Shimazaki. He picked Sho up and brought him over to Toshi's room. He could have gone to Fukuda…but he didn't feel like it. Toshi knew what to do. They had helped him, before, when he'd gotten infected cuts. They were smart like that. They may not have had super healing powers but they did know a thing or two about healing plants and stuff.
Also they were the smartest person that Shimazaki had ever met.
"Ryou, is there any particular reason you decided to drop in like this? Or did you just feel like startling my houseplants?" asked Minegishi as they took a fern from Mob and rested it on their dresser. They did not have the energy for whatever this was. For why ever Ryou had decided to pop into their room holding Mob's struggling little brother.
"Sorry Toshi, and Toshi's plants, and Mob. Sorry to freak you guys out but I kind of have a situation here." Said Shimazaki
"Sho? Are you ok?" asked Mob. Sho was kicked and trying to get away from Shimazaki…and that was weird. Usually he did whatever he could to be near Shimazaki. She didn't knew what was happening but she hoped that it wasn't a fight. She hated fights. She had managed to avoid any fights on the plane…but she really hoped that the fighting hadn't just been postponed until they landed and got to their new home.
"What in the hell kind of situation are you two in this time?" asked Minegishi with a groan. That kid…that KID. They had no idea what he had done but if Ryou thought that it was important enough to bother them about…well then they'd have to do something. Better them than Mob. She had enough on her plate as it was.
"We're not in any kind of a situation!" said Sho as he tried to get away from Shimazaki. He didn't know where he would go or what he would do after he was put down but he didn't want to be there in Minegishi's stupid room where they were unpacking their stupid plants and books and…and big sis was looking at him like she was all worried…and she was always worried about him even though she had no reason to be!
"But….Shimazaki's holding you…and you're both acting like something's wrong. What's wrong, little brother?" asked Mob. Was Sho hurt from where he'd hit his head? Oh, she knew that doing a barrel roll was a bad idea…and she had no idea why dad had thought that it was a good idea…and now Sho was hurt! Maybe very hurt…well things must have gone very wrong if Shimazaki was worried about him. He didn't worry that often but when he did he only worried about the important things.
"I'm fine! Make him put me down!" said Sho as he tried to get out of Shimazaki's arms. He wished that he knew how to teleport. That would have made all of this much easier. Big sis was there. She would see what had happened and she'd freak out…and he didn't want that. He would rather have been locked in a box with his mortal enemy than have to have his big sister see what he'd done to himself…not that he'd done a bad job. He'd done a great job! The best job ever! The only problem with this was that he hadn't healed yet…that was all. Once he healed up then he'd be fine.
"Um Shimazaki? Maybe you should put Sho down…since he asked you to. If he got hurt when we did the barrel roll then I can just take him to Fukuda." Said Mob. She didn't want to go and see Fukuda. She didn't want to go and see him at all but…well this wasn't about what she wanted. This was about what Sho needed and if Sho needed to go and see Fukuda then that was where she was going to take him…and if Fukuda made her feel bad or weird then she would deal with that. She would deal with anything if it meant that she helped her little brother. She didn't know what she would do without him…well be alone with dad…and that would have just been…not good at all.
"No, it wasn't the barrel roll, and that was pretty great by the way good call on having your dad spin the plane around. Anyway, I think that Sho's covered in infected cuts. I don't know. I know that he's got a bunch of them on his arm and he's been scratching like crazy since God knows when." Said Shimazaki. He put Sho down. He could feel him crossing his arms and glaring with his aura. What was with him? What, did he WANT to sit there and scratch for the rest of his life?
"I'm not covered in anything!" said Sho. He pulled his sleeves down over his hands. Now big sis was coming close and she was acting all concerned…and she didn't even have to be! He was fine! He wasn't covered in any cuts, just art, and he knew that she wouldn't see it that way. She would freak out about this like she freaked out about everything…and he did not need her freaking out about anything! She was probably already still all freaked out from when the plane did a barrel roll. She was just going to get all worked up over this, too, and…and he didn't need that right now! Or ever!
"Take him to Fukuda then. What do you want me to do about it?" asked Minegishi. They'd seen Mob/s little brother scratching like he had the chicken pox or something for a while….and really if he was somehow covered in infected cuts then he should have gone and seen Fukuda about that. They had a healer and, really, he needed to be good for at least one thing around here.
"You know about skin and stuff. You're smart like that Toshi, you're the smartest person I know." Said Shimazaki. He omitted the 'I love you' that really should have gone onto the end of that. Not while Sho was in the room. He would not have taken it well and, really, Shimazaki did not need to deal with what would come from ripping the poor kid's heart out. He could barely deal with this.
"…no they aren't." said Sho quietly. Minegishi wasn't that smart just because they read books all the time and had gone to school past kindergarten. Sho was smart too! He was smart and….and Minegishi was dumb! Yeah, they didn't even know what was wrong with him and…and that made them dumb…and there was nothing wrong with him at all anyway!
"Sho, don't be mean…and let me see your arms. You've been scratching for a while and I've been worried about you." Said Mob. She was close enough not that she could roll his sleeves up over his hands. She could smell him, too, and he smelled just like vanilla…and that was where her lotion had been going. Mob really hoped that it was just dry skin and not anything serious…and if it was something serious then she would be there to fix him right up!
"There's nothing wrong with my arms!" said Sho. He tried to pull his sleeves out of her hands but she was strong. That was cheating, her using her powers like that, and she knew that she was cheating. He wanted to…the old him would have pushed her down and run away…but he was ten now and he didn't do stuff like that anymore. He was ten going on eleven and….and he was not going to push his big sis…
Even if she was being kind of pushy.
Everyone was! Really, everyone was being so pushy today! Like, didn't they have anything else to do than stand around and worry about his skin? They had moved to a new place. They were in a whole new city and there was so much to do! There were so many arcades and also there were pancakes with a lot of stuff on them, which he would be taking apart of course, and also…also there was a lot to do in Osaka but instead of having Osaka fun everyone was standing around and talking about him and bothering him and…and he was fine!
Why couldn't people get that through their heads already!?
"Sho, hold still. Come on. If you're hurt then we can help you. We're your friends, Sho, and that's what friends are for." Said Mob as she tried to roll the sleeves of Sho's jacket up. She loved him, everyone loved him, and for some reason he just didn't understand. He even pulled his hands back…for some reason. She just…she just could not understand him sometimes.
"….not all of you are my friends." Said Sho. He looked right at Minegishi when he said that. All they did was shake their head and scoff. What? That was all they would do? They were his mortal enemy and that was all that he was going to get!?
"Kid, no, that wasn't ok." Said Shimazaki. He could feel Sho glaring at Toshi…and now Toshi was going to be pissed at him for not handling this. Well he was handling this. He had been handling this as best as he could. He had told Sho that they would be best friends for the rest of their lives and that they could only be best friends and he had no idea what else he could do without smashing the kid's heart into a million little pieces.
"So? I don't care if-" said Sho. Why was Shimazaki always defending them? What? Did he LIKE them or something? Was he in love with them or something? Was he their boyfriend or something? Well Sho knew that he wasn't. He had said, before, that he didn't do the relationship thing. He was just defending them because he was nice and cool like that…and stuff. Also because they had boobs and stuff.
"Yeah, I'm not dealing with this anymore. Hold still." Said Minegishi. They weren't in the mood to deal with Mob's little demon of a brother. This was going to turn into an all-day thing and they were not in the mood, at all, for an all-day thing. No, they were going to get to the bottom of this. They walked over to Mob's little brother and pulled his jacket right off. They didn't care about the hitting and the cursing. They didn't care about Sho getting mad at them. They just had to get to the end of this, to the bottom of this, and they just had to…
To figure out what they were looking at.
"What the hell….?" Said Minegishi as they took in….whatever it was that they were looking at. That was…those were….if they hadn't known any better they would have thought that they were looking at a bunch of infected tattoos. Those were….those were not drawings. They could see where the skin was raised up and…and what in the hell…..what in the hell was this?!
"Sho….have you been drawing on yourself again? I mean…because that's what it looks like…" asked Mob. Sho was standing still…and he was trying to hide his arms…and she didn't…know what she was looking at. His arms looked like he had been drawing all over himself. He did that sometimes. She wouldn't have minded if he had been drawing all over himself, even if he hadn't managed to finish a single drawing it looked like, if he hadn't been covered in all of those red patches. He had so much red on him…and she knew that those were not pen marks…
"Wait, what does it look like?" asked Shimazaki. Well the kid had stopped breathing…and everyone's auras were freaking out….and he had no idea why. Apparently the kid had been drawing on himself or something? But that was normal. He drew on himself all the time. What was so shocking about that?
"….quit looking at me…" said Sho. His body had forgotten how to move…but now it remembered. It remembered because….because he just….everyone was looking at him! Big sis and Minegishi…and Shimazaki too. His aura was focused on Sho. His aura and…and he was reaching over now….and Sho…he just…
He wasn't done yet!
It would have looked so much better if he'd had the time he need to finish. But he didn't have to time because he had to do this in secret and also because….because it was just a very slow process! The needle was tiny and it took a lot of dots to make even a little drawing and also it was easy to mess up while he was working and…and nobody understood! Nobody got it and…and it was impossible to just something until it was done! Everyone was going to stand there and stare at him like he'd messed up…but he hadn't! He hadn't messed up at all and….and…
And everyone needed to stop looking at him already!
"What are we not supposed to look at?" asked Shimazaki. They knew that he couldn't see, right? That maybe it would have been helpful if someone had explained to him in some kind of detail what they were staring at? Sho was being all closed off, his aura was all quiet and low, and Toshi and Mob were freaking out. All high pitched and loud and stuff…and he really just needed some kind of an explanation because he couldn't think of anything that the kid had drawn on himself that could shock even Toshi. Mob, maybe, because she startled easy but not Toshi.
"Sho…drew on himself…he's covered in drawings." said Mob. It looked like he'd fallen out of a tree or been attacked by animals again…and then he'd tried to draw on himself. He'd tried to draw on himself and also…and also he'd left the ink on for too long. The ink in the half done drawings looked like it had been left on for too long, like he had been drawing with permanent markers, but just….thin ones? And like he'd been doing dot drawing again like he'd done when they had been staying in Australia. Like dot drawings but…without paint….
"Oh. Well how do they look?" asked Shimazaki
"Infected. They look infected. It looks like he's covered in infected, homemade, stick and poke tattoos….and this is beyond any first aid I know. Take him to Fukuda and then talk to him about being a moron….and other things that you should have talked to him about a long time ago." Said Minegishi. Well then. They wondered if Ryou still wanted kids after this. If this had been their own kid with his arms, and probably the rest of him based on how he'd been scratching, Minegishi would have been worried or angry or anything other than vaguely annoyed. This was beyond the scope of their first aid knowledge…and also they were not the one who put this idea in Sho's head.
Ryou wanted to be a pseudo parent? Well then he could start parenting.
"Sho….are those….is Minegishi right?" asked Mob. Minegishi knew a lot of things about a lot of things…but they could not have been right. Sho…he knew better than to get tattoos…right? The only people who had tattoos in Japan were in the yakuza….and also kids did not have tattoos! Those were for adults and…well Mob drank and smoked but…but Sho could not have tattoos!
"Can everyone just leave me alone!? I'm fine! They're just…healing! They aren't infected and they just need to heal and…and they look cool! Tell Shimazaki that they look cool!" said Sho. No…he was fine and…and Shimazaki needed to think that Sho had done a good job! He needed to think that Sho had done a good job so then he would be all 'wow Sho you're so cool you can do all of my tattoos and stuff from now until eternity' and then he and Sho would be together and Sho could do a tattoo for him for his birthday…and it would be….just the best.
"Do they?" asked Shimazaki. That was the real question here. If they looked cool then, hey, the kid had a talent. If they didn't then, well, Sho shouldn't have been such a little idiot as to give himself stick and poke tattoos when he had no clue what he was doing. Shimazaki, well, he couldn't help but feel a little bit responsible. He'd brought Sho with him while he got worked on so, of course, the kid had gotten some ideas. Apparently some bad ones…
Like getting tattoos before he was done growing…and also not making sure that everything was nice and clean and sterile…and probably other such tattooing basics that he should have taught Sho.
"Um…they look…very interesting." Said Mob. They looked terrible. They were broken lines and pokes and red spots and…and the whole thing just looked…well it looked like his stomach and legs were itchy too since he had been scratching them…and just…this was….
She should have been watching him better.
If she had been watching him better then he wouldn't have had the chance to do that to himself. If she had been doing a better job as his big sister then he never would have had the chance to…well she didn't want to smother him…but she also just didn't….she wished that she had been watching him better so that this hadn't even had a chance to happen!
This was….bad.
"No they don't. They're half done. They're infected. And they were done by a ten year old with….I'm guessing a nail jammed into a pencil eraser." Said Minegishi. They were no stranger to the art of stick and poke. They had never done it to themselves, they weren't a big fan of getting stabbed over and over again, but they knew that maybe the art of stick and poke should not have been undertaken by a ten year old child. Just a thought.
"Just…shut up! Shut up and leave me alone! I want everyone in the whole world to just leave me the fuck alone!" shouted Sho as he ran away. He had to run away. He had nothing else to do but run away. He ran away from Minegishi being a jerk, he ran away from big sis worrying about nothing, and he ran away from Shimazaki standing there and…and thinking that he wasn't cool…and that he didn't know how to do tattoos…and how he just…wasn't cool and….
And he had no choice but to run all the way home.
They weren't out in the suburbs now, no, they were in actual city houses so he didn't have to run far. Also these houses had this big walls in front which were good. That way nobody could see him. He didn't have far to run and nobody could see him…and also nobody was home, which was good, because he forgot to take his shoes off. He was running through the house with shoes on and he didn't care. This wasn't his house. This was some house in Osaka that dad had bought and painted blue and…and he hated it here! They had been in this city for not even an hour and he already hated it! There was nothing at all to like about being here! This was…this was a terrible place and he wanted to rewind and go back to Tokyo and…and he just…
He hated it here!
And he knew that blaming the city was stupid but…but he had to blame something! He had to blame something for the way he felt. It felt like his heart was trying to fall out through his belly button. It felt like his skin was going to pull its self from his bones and crawl away. it felt like the whole world was trying to crawl down his throat and there wasn't enough room and that was why there were tears coming from his eyes!
He was not crying.
He had not run all the way home, through himself under his Zootopia covers, and started crying like a little baby. He was just…his eyes were….being all like this. He just…he couldn't think. He had just run away and…and he had forgotten his jacket…but Shimazaki was probably going to take it back anyway. He probably was going to take it back and give it to someone who deserved it. Someone who was cool. Someone who was a better friend. Someone who was good enough to be his friend. Someone who he talked about like he talked about Minegishi! Someone who he could trust to do a tattoo for him, something that stayed on your skin for the rest of your life, someone who could be trusted do something nice and cool and just…..someone who wasn't Sho!
Shimazaki didn't think that he was cool.
Sho took off his shirt. It went somewhere onto his bed. He didn't know where. It was green under there. His bedding was Judy and Nick and a green background. The light that came through the windows made the whole world under there look green…everything about it but his chest. His chest and his arms…and he kicked off his pants too. His legs…his chest…and his arms…and his back too but he couldn't see it. They were all red. They were…well the red was there but also his skin was white…well there were freckles but his skin was all pale and stuff but not as bad as big sis's…but also very red…and he was fine! That was just what tattoos looked like when they healed! He was fine and Minegishi….they were such a bitch bastard sometimes! All the time! He had no idea what big sis even had them as a best friend for!
And he had no idea why Shimazaki liked them so much.
He liked them. The way he talked about them…and how they were always together…he liked them. Not just for boob touching reasons. He liked them and…and it wasn't fair! Sho…he was trying really hard to fall out of love with him….and he needed to try even harder! He needed to totally and completely fall out of love with Shimazaki Ryou because he was in love with Minegishi and…and it wasn't fair! They weren't cool or fun and they certainly would not have covered themselves in tattoos for Shimazaki! They just….they had told Shimazaki that he didn't look cool and…
And fuck them!
And fuck big sis too for….well, no, she hadn't done anything. He couldn't stay mad at her. He had spent so much of his life already being mad at her…and mad in general…and he was just getting kind of tired of being mad at people all the time. Especially his sister. She had been worried about him…he touched the dragon on his arm…and these were…they were itchy and he'd never had anything get infected before…that he remembered….well there had been that splinter when he had been really little. He'd gotten a splinter from trying to climb the tree in the yard at the Castle and…well the last time it had happened mom had dug it out with tweezers and it had hurt…so he just decided to leave it in and let a tree grow inside of him…but a tree hadn't grown inside of him. His had just got all red and it hurt…and then mom had to get the splinter out herself because Fukuda had been off with dad somewhere…and it had hurt so bad…and mom had said that he had gotten an infection from the splinter…
And it had felt a lot like this.
But he just…he had done what the internet had said. He had gotten a clean needle, there hadn't been anything gross on it, and he had run it under hot water too. He had let the water from the tap get as hot as it could be and that was how he had rinsed the needle before he started. He even used real ink from India like the internet had said. Afterwards he had washed it with soap and water and then put plastic wrap over it. He knew how to read, he knew how to take care of tattoos, and he had no idea how all of these could have gotten infected…or how he could have drawn so badly on himself…and how he just…how he…
How he could have made himself look like such a moron in front of Shimazaki.
And how he could have made himself into such a morn now. He was hiding under the covers in his underwear crying like a little baby. He couldn't have made himself look like any more of a loser, a baby, a little kid, if he had tried. No wonder he had messed up so badly. He sucked at everything. He was just…he had been born wrong. For his whole life he had felt like he had been born wrong and now…now he knew it to be true…again. He knew that he had been born wrong when he had been born with barely any powers. He knew that he had been born wrong when mom had left. He knew that he had been born wrong whenever dad punished him. He knew that he had been born wrong whenever he had to lie or keep things from big sis. He knew that he had been born wrong…and that she had been born right…and he knew more than anything else that….
That he sucked.
He sucked. He sucked and he was going to spend the rest of his life in his bed and nobody was going to get him out…not that he knew why anyone would want to. He just…he knew that Shimazaki didn't think that he was cool anymore. He was probably hanging out with Minegishi and big sis now…well just Minegishi. He could feel big sis's aura. He could feel her coming closer. She was probably coming to tell him that he had messed up. That he should have done better, been more careful, and had more sense than to start too many drawings at once on his own skin. She was in the house now and he knew that she wouldn't stop until she got to their room. He knew that she wasn't coming in there to finish unpacking. She was coming in to tell him how badly he had messed up….
And he deserved it.
He stayed under the bed. He didn't come up. Not when he heard the door open, not when he felt her crossing the room, and not even when she sat down on the edge of his bed. He felt her there and he didn't say anything. Neither did she, not for a moment, and he wished that she would have just gotten on with telling him how badly he had fucked up already. How he sucked and how he should have planned this whole better and thought it through. How she was going to take him to Fukuda to get all fixed up and to get all of his work erased. Stuff like that. Stuff that he did not want to hear. He knew that she was planning on saying it and he wished that she would have just gotten on with it already.
Until he wished that she hadn't.
"Sho…you forgot your jacket. Shimazaki said that I should give this to you…so I brought it." Said Mob. She could tell by Sho's aura, and the fact that he was hiding under his blanket like it was a barrier, that he did not want her to talk to him or even be in the same room as him. She could tell and…and she had to say something. He had run away. He had done it because, well, his feelings had been hurt. Minegishi had been a little mean there but…well he should not have been tattooing himself like that. He was too little, he had hurt himself, and also if people saw that he had tattoos they would think that he was a part of the yakuza…not that being in the yakuza was on it's own a bad thing….Shimazaki had been in the yakuza and he was a very nice person…so maybe not wanting people to think that her little brother had been in the yakuza was a bad thing for her to think…
She didn't know…but she did know that he just…he was too little for tattoos!
"Did he really tell you to bring it back or are you just saying that?" asked Sho after a little bit. He wanted it back. Shimazaki had given him that, it had been his first leather jacket ever, and he had passed it onto Sho…and Sho of course wanted it back…but he also wanted his friend back. He…well he knew that Shimazaki said that they would always be friends but…but how could he have still wanted to be friends with Sho…after he had messed up so badly? He just…or maybe Sho was just…
He didn't know, ok?!
"No, he said to. Well he wanted to talk to you, to teach you how to do tattoos right, but then Minegishi told him that he was being dumb and then they told me to come home and talk to you because they had to talk to him…and now I'm here and I have your coat." Said Mob. She wanted to pull the covers off from him and ask him what he had been thinking…but that would have been mean. Instead she just sat down on the edge of his bed and…well she didn't know what to do. She had his coat on her lap…and she'd have to wash this thing soon…and she didn't know if she should give it to him or hang it up or…whatever. It was fall now, it was starting to get chilly and the leaves were starting to change, so maybe he needed his coat now…well he had been wearing it all summer too…she didn't know. She didn't know what to do right now…
But she had to do something. She was in charge of him after all.
"Just leave it on the bed and leave me alone. I want to be alone, ok?" asked Sho. He needed to be alone. If he said any more words to her then…then he might have said something that he wouldn't have been able to take back. He would have said the sort of thing that he would have said to her back when he had been a jerk. He wasn't a jerk. He was…he was trying his best to tell big sis that he needed to be alone….that just…just he….
He wanted to be alone.
"But I-" said Mob. She didn't want to leave him alone. She needed him. She needed to be there for him. She would have just been the worst big sister in the world if she let him be all alone when he was hurting like this. His feelings were hurting and his body was hurting and she had to be there for him. She had to take care of him. She was his big sister and that was her job and hers alone.
"Can't you see? I just want to be alone! I messed up really bad and now I just…have to be alone." Said Sho. He yelled at her and he shouldn't have yelled at her but he had and he just…he had only yelled at her for a little bit. That was good. He had only yelled at her for a second and he could tell by her aura that she wasn't sad or mad or scared. He could only see her aura, not her face, and if he had wanted to see her face then he should have pulled the blanket off of his head…but then she would have been able to see his face…and he didn't want her to see his face. His face which was red from crying, probably, and also he could feel tears on his cheeks….and she could not see that. If she saw that, the way his face was, then she would ask questions….and he didn't know if he could answer those questions.
Those were his secrets.
He had his secrets that she could never know about. He was full of secrets. His head was full of secrets and his skin was covered in secrets…but now those secrets were out. He had no idea why he was even under the blanket. She knew that he had been crying. She knew that he had tattoos. She knew his secrets. She knew some of his secrets. Some, not all, and if she knew all of his secrets then she would never want anything to do with him again….
So he could never tell her.
"Sho…it's ok. We can go to Fukuda and he can fix this." said Mob. She knew why he wouldn't have wanted to go and see Fukuda. He had told Sho's secrets and he could be a big jerk, a very big jerk, sometimes. This was an emergency, though, because he could end up getting very sick. He could get sick from all of those infections that were in his skin and…and he needed to see Fukuda….and she needed to bring him to Fukuda. She needed to be a good big sister and bring him…even though he really didn't want to go.
"….he can't fix this. Nobody can fix this." said Sho. He pulled his knees up to his chest. He had made himself look so stupid and…and Fukuda couldn't fix that. He had made Shimazaki…well he had never liked him…not in the way that Sho liked him…and there was no way that Fukuda could fix that either. Didn't she get it!? Well no, she didn't, because she didn't know…and she could never know. If she knew then she would tell dad. Like Fukuda said, she could never keep a secret from dad, and she just…he knew that even if she knew that he liked boys and not girls then she would still love him but…but also she just…she would tell dad and there was no way that he would be ok with Sho being…who he was…so she could never know. She could never know that there was no fixing this.
"That's not true. He can fix anything. He…well he kind of got mean but he can still fix things." Said Mob. She knew that Sho was still mad about Fukuda telling his secrets and she knew how much of a jerk he could be….but also she knew that Sho needed real help and Fukuda could give him the help that he needed. She just…wished that he could understand. That he could understand that this was not the time to be mad at Fukuda. This was serious.
"No! You don't get it! You just…you don't understand and you will never understand." Said Sho. She was normal. She was born right. Dad loved her. Everything that she did was right in his eyes. She could drink and smoke and…and talk back to him…and he would always love her. Because she had been born right. Even if she had been like him, if she had liked girls instead of boys, then dad would probably have still loved her. She didn't like girls, though, and she wasn't in love with her best friend…and she would never get it! Not unless he told her…but he could never tell her. She would just end up telling dad. Like Fukuda said, she couldn't keep a secret from dad, and this was…it was a big secret. His biggest secret ever.
"Then help me. I don't understand why you did this to yourself but…but I want you to tell me why you did this so I can understand. Why did you try and tattoo yourself?" asked Mob. She had just thought that he had done all of that to copy Shimazaki…and she couldn't think of why else he would have done that. He had plenty of paper to draw on…and if he was bored of drawing on paper then he could have drawn on the walls or something. She just…she didn't understand and she would never understand unless he told her…but for some reason he just wouldn't tell her.
"You wouldn't get it." Said Sho. She really would not have been able to get it. How it felt to be in love with your best friend. How it felt to be close to someone who could never like you back. Because you were too young, because even if you had been the same age you couldn't be together anyway, and even if you had met someone you liked you couldn't be with him…she would never understand. She would never have been able to understand. She had been in love with Hatori and even if he was way older than her she still could have been his girlfriend because he was a guy…and she would never…even if he told her she would never be able to understand…and he didn't know why he wanted to tell her….that secret. Not all of his secrets but….but at least some of them…because there were so many…
And they were so itchy.
"Please help me understand, little brother, I want to understand." Said Mob. She didn't know for sure if she could understand, she didn't know everything and it would have been weird if she thought that she did, but she knew that she could make an effort. Sho was hiding from her, and he was curled up, and he was hurt too. She needed to understand so she could help him. She needed to help him because she loved him and…and he just…he was her little brother and she would always be there for him.
"Big sis…just…can I tell you a secret?" asked Sho. He maybe…could tell her. He just…he had to tell her. His secrets…there were so many of them…and they were so itchy. They were there and they were itchy and….and he just had to…he just had to tell someone. To tell her. She was his sister and…and she didn't understand…and he had no idea if she could understand…but she wanted to understand. She wanted to understand and he could….he could maybe help her understand.
"You can tell me anything." Said Mob. She meant it. It didn't matter what he had said or done. She'd always love her little brother…always and forever.
"And…and after I tell you this do you promise not to…do you promise that you won't think that I'm weird or…or that there's something wrong with me…or that…that I suck for keeping stuff from you?" said Sho
"Sho, you know that there is nothing in the whole world that you could tell me that could make me not love you." Said Mob. Even if he told her that he had killed a bunch of people, chopped them up, and was planning on serving them to her for dinner like in that movie they had seen she would still have loved him just as much as she loved him now…which is as much as humanly possible and for the whole of forever.
"And…and promise me that you won't tell dad. You can't breathe a word of this to dad…you can't betray me to dad." Said Sho. He had already been betrayed once…and he could not be betrayed again. He just…he didn't know if he could handle it, her betraying him, because….because he trusted her. He trusted her more than he trusted anyone, even Fukuda before his betrayal, and a betrayal from her…well that would have been like twenty betrayals and getting kicked in the balls too.
"Sho. I would never betray you. I would never tell dad any of your secrets." Said Mob. She meant that more than she had ever meant anything in her life. She would take any secret that he told her to the grave and then what came afterwards, too. She knew that dad was mean to Sho, that he was always punishing him even though she had told him not to, and she wasn't about to give dad another reason to punish him.
"Ok…just….I'm in love with Shimazaki." Said Sho. He whispered it. He couldn't say it any louder than he'd said it just then. He'd never thought that he would tell her but…but he just…he just…he couldn't keep it to himself for another second! He just…he had so many secrets and…and he just…he had to say it!
"What?" asked Mob. He had been whispering, there, and she'd had to put her ears down close to him…and maybe he got too close. Maybe he'd gotten too close to her or she'd gotten to him because they'd bumped heads….and it had hurt…but she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Not when Sho was telling his secrets. She knew so few of them…and she knew not to be nosy…but she just…she wanted to know what was bothering him. That was all.
"I'm in love with Shimazaki! I love him! I love everything about him! I love how he can pick me up! I love how he laughs whenever I do dumb stuff! I love how he thinks that all of my ideas are good idea! I love how he always wants to hang out with me…and…and I love how he just…he just….I love him! I love him even when he doesn't make sense! I love him even when he makes me hold his eye cleaner for him so it's not cold when he has to put it in! I love him and….and you can't tell him or anyone!" said Sho. He didn't take his blanket off of his head. He couldn't. He couldn't let her see his face…and he knew that if he took off the blanket then…then he would just…he would die. He would die and then she would have to exorcise him…
And he wanted her to exorcise him.
He wanted him to exorcise him because…because she wasn't saying anything. She was just sitting there and her aura was close and…and he wanted to see her face. She had sort of the same face dad did, always the same no matter what, but he could tell how she felt. He needed to know how she felt like right now. How she felt about him…and who he was and…how he was and…and just stuff like…like she just…
He had no idea how she felt…if it was good or bad…
"Oh." Said Mob. Well then that was…well that made sense. How Shimazaki was the person that he wanted to talk about the most. How Shimazaki was the person that he wanted to spend time with the most. All the drawings of him, too, a whole lot of drawings. That was…well she had always known that Sho liked boys….but…Shimazaki? Hatori was right there but he liked Shimazaki?
"Oh? Is that all you have to say? I just told you the biggest secret that I have and all you have to say is 'oh' like that's just a normal thing to say?" said Sho. This time he did come up out from under the blanket. She was staring at him…and yeah, he had a lot of tattoos….and also he wasn't dressed…but whatever!
"Um…let me think for a second…but in a good way! I just…I'm happy that you told me about your feelings and…I'm not going to tell your secret to dad but….Shimazaki? Sho…you like him?" asked Mob. She ignored the fact that he wasn't dressed. They were brother and sister and they had seen each other like this before, not for a while, but they had bigger things to worry about. He had a girlfriend…and also….well some people liked both but…why Shimazaki? Why him of all people? He acted like a crazy person, he was nice, but he acted like a crazy person and...ok, now she understood. Well she did and she didn't. Sho had a girlfriend who he kissed and loved and how could he like two people at once? She wanted to know but this did not seem at all like the time or the place.
"Don't. Just…don't be like that. I like him…I love him…and I know that's why we can't be together…because I'm the one who likes him. Because I'm not allowed to like him…and also he's an adult and I'm not…and stuff." Said Sho. He looked down and played with his blanket. Nick was looking up at him. Judy was folded over. He wanted to be folded over too. He had told his big sister his biggest secret….and now she was just….asking him questions…and he just…he had thought that telling her would have made him feel better, and he did, but also he felt even…well in some ways better and in some ways worse…
It was kind of confusing.
"Hey….that's ok. You can't choose who you love….and you love him. You love him and I'm just happy that you found love." Said Mob. She wished that he had found love with someone else. Shimazaki was a very nice person but…but well Minegishi was already in love with Shimazaki. She knew that Minegishi and Shimazaki were in love with each other…and also Sho was ten…and Shimazaki was thirty…and she just…he had love with someone else and…and she still didn't know how Emmy fit into all of this…but she wasn't going to ask. Not now. Now just…was not the time.
"Well I'm not! I just….I love him and…and he can't love me back and…and I think that he likes Minegishi and…and I did this for him! So that he would think that I was cooler than Minegishi and…and I thought that if I did this then he would think that I was cool and…and I just…I don't know. I did something dumb…" said Sho
"You and I….we're the same. Not that we love the same boy…and we should be careful about that in the future….but we both did dumb stuff for boys." Said Mob. Sho liked boys, she knew that he did, and she also knew that he had a girlfriend….and he loved her…and that was confusing….and also this was not the time for her to be confused. She had to be there for him. She had to be there for him and…and maybe if he had told her one of his secrets then she could tell him one of hers. To be even. To make him feel better.
"You gave yourself a bunch of tattoos?" asked Sho with a laugh. She would never have done anything dumb for a guy. She just had to tell a guy that he liked her and then dad could just make the guy like her. There. She didn't know what it was like to want to be with someone who you could never be with….and who you weren't allowed to be with…and stuff.
"No…but I asked Hatori to be my…well my friend who I kissed and stuff…and then eventually my boyfriend…and he said no and it was embarrassing and stupid…and it's ok that you did this. People do dumb stuff when they're in love." Said Mob. She hadn't done anything as bad as give herself tattoos…and also she still didn't know why he had thought that it was a good idea to give himself tattoos….but she didn't have to understand she just had to make her feel better.
"Yeah….I guess…just…I don't know. Can we not talk about this anymore? I just….I don't want to talk about this anymore." Said Sho. He…well he wanted to beat Hatori up for not liking his sister back…and he wanted to tell her that Hatori not liking her wasn't the same as Shimazaki not liking him…and that asking someone to be your boyfriend wasn't the same as giving yourself a bunch of really bad…and they were really bad…tattoos.
"Ok. We can talk later…and I'll leave you alone…but please go and see Fukuda. I won't tell him or anyone else why you did this, I can keep your secrets, but please get all of those fixed. They look infected." Said Mob. She wanted to pick him up and take him to Fukuda…but telling her that had been a lot. She wanted to help him and…and she knew that she had helped him…but she wished that she could have done more. She didn't know what would have counted as more but….well more than she had done…
Because even if his feelings felt better he was still covered in those infected tattoos.
"I know…and I will, big sis, ok? Just…thanks. Thanks and…and I just need to be alone. I love you." Said Sho. He meant it. He meant that he loved her and he meant that he wanted to be alone. She listened, thankfully, and she even closed the door behind her. Now the world was small, their room, the four blue walls that surrounded him…and it wasn't small enough. He went back under his blanket. He didn't know when he would come out, or why he was under there, but he knew that he wasn't ready to come out just yet. He had no idea why he was still under there, why he felt better under there, because being until there in the green of his blanket didn't change the fact that he needed to go and see Fukuda like big sis had said. Being under there didn't change the fact that Shimazaki probably still thought that he was an idiot. Being under there didn't change the fact that he had messed up and now he was covered in tattoos and everyone knew and….and he just…he knew that being underneath his blanket didn't change anything….
But it did help make him feel better and that must have counted for something.