I never gave her a chance to speak to me. I leant back against the frame of the carriage door and scanned everyone around me as Evans spoke. You had to hand it to her, the girl could belt out a speech. She went into a great spiel about how this was going to be the best year ever, that she had a heap of trust (insert snort) in each and every one of them and how she knew they'd do so well. Then what our duties were, what we needed to run through, blah blah blah.

She finished and the carriage fell silent. I knew I was supposed to speak but I just lazed back against the frame, arms folded.

'Er… James? Do you have anything to say?'

James? James? That matchstick wench had the nerve to use my first name? I just looked at her until her face began to morph into what looked strangely like a tomato. Then I shrugged carelessly. 'Nuh.'

She blinked and looked around at the smirking prefects and Remus' thoughtful expression then shot me a look which once long ago would have had me thinking 'oh sweet Merlin's shit'. 'You sure?'

I straightened up, flicked my wrist and pranced over. 'Oh, for sure Lily! We have got to upkeep the fashion end this year so everyone has to wear pink at least once every week!' I turned to face the others with a smile on my face so dohey that it sickened even me. 'Oh, you all look so wonderful! I'm, like, so proud of you! And one last thing…' My voice reverted back to it's real baritone rather than the overly fake soprano and I folded my arms again. 'Unless you want to be known as the Bogey Queen and or King, don't screw up. Thanks guys, you can go hang with your mates now.'

They laughed and filtered out of the room. Remus signaled that he'd meet me back at the compartment and left me alone. With it. Smiling brightly, I turned to face the Human Leach behind me.

'Was that a good enough speech, Lilikins? I think maybe I should work on my presentation. You know, I don't think I had the wrist movements down pat…' I practiced in front of her face, flicking my hand down and pushing my chest out. 'Maybe I should use the word "darling" more often…'

'Are you happy now?'

'Ecstatic, thank you for asking.'

She shook her head. 'This is our final year and, whether we like it or not, we have to work together. I know you're a bit upset-'

'Upset!'

'-but we have to make do.' She glared at me hard enough that I, shamefully, shut my face. She brushed past me and some treacherous part of me in the region of my chest jolted as she touched me. 'And one more thing. Do not call me Lilikins!'

'Sorry, dearest Lilian!' I bellowed as she slammed the door shut. I glared at the mahogany door then sank into my seat. Great. I had to deal with Queen Witch Bitch all year, my parents were all up for getting involved in this bloody war which, until these past holidays, I had barely realized was going on and I had to focus on passing my exams so I could become and Auror and fight too… Is it always like this when you're an adult? If so, kill me now.

Slapping my hands onto my knees, I stood and headed for the door.

Five minutes later, I wwas drenched. Trust Sirius. He had held off from the 'Head Boy' pranks far too long so he'd taken all his resources and the second I stepped into their compartment a total of fifteen buckets of water, all dyed in different colours and freezing bloody cold, dropped on my head.

'Refreshing,' I muttered, shaking the water from my head.

Remus was pouring through his newest book, the tiny smile in his eyes the only hint that he'd found the prank amusing. 'Padfoot figured you may need to cool off after your first meeting with Evans.'

I grunted manfully and fell into a seat. Peter, giggling madly, dried me with a quick spell. Unfortunately, he, Remus and Sirius fell into a fresh bout of laughter. I sighed. I had a hunch at what I looked like and 'walking rainbow' didn't really come close. I sighed and tried to think up a good spell to erase my mate-inflicted gay appearance. I failed dismally. Instead, I just glared at Sirius for half an hour until he freaked out and threw down his pack of Exploding Snap which promptly blew up in Peter's face and told me to 'stop staring in that ghoulish scary freaky obscene insecure way, like a homophobe Executioner would stare at a gay condemned man, for Merlin's Sake!'

'Padfoot, you're babbling.'

'Yes. I do that.' He pouted and turned away. Just as the train stopped. My head darted upwards and I frowned. This was not right. I stood and slid open the compartment door, almost yelping as a little redhead barreled into me.

'Evans!'

'Potter, I… why are you multicoloured?' She raised an eyebrow and all but smirked.

'Sirius has a good eye for colour.'

'Thanks, mate.'

'Anytime.'

Lily waved her wand, muttered a spell and I glanced down. My hand was no longer a mixture of blue, red, green and yellow. I relaxed, assuming the rest of me was the same. Evans grabbed my hand and motioned for the others.

'Something's happening… and it's not good.'