Snakes were not herbivores and there was no way for Sho to teach them to be.

He'd tried. He'd left a whole salad in the closet for them but they hadn't even touched it. They were all out of their shells and all done being born so they needed to eat…but they just weren't eating. He had thought that if he left them alone for long enough they would eat the salad, that was what mom did with him when he was little, but they hadn't even touched it…probably because they were carnivores. They had fangs now, they had some baby snake teeth, and they were so sharp…carnivore sharp…

So maybe trying to teach them to be vegetarians had been stupid.

Since they couldn't eat salad and big sis would definitely notice if he was leaving raw meat in the snake closet, he had to go out and hunt for them like a mother snake would…well maybe they did. Sho didn't know much about snakes but he did know that moms were supposed to feed their babies and those snakes were like his babies now so he had to go out and hunt them up some food. Snakes at mice, rats, shrews, voles, small birds, and bugs. He was going to hunt them up some bugs. They were easy to catch and also didn't look up at him with fear on their little faces, that was good, and he knew that he could buy snake food at the pet store…but then people would know that he had gone to the pet store and then they would start asking him questions since it was pretty damn suspicious to go to the pet store when you had no pets.

So hunting garden bugs it was.

"Come on snail…you're going to be snake food now. I'm sorry but that's just how the food chain works. If we were in France you would be my dinner but we're not in France, we're in Japan, and in Japan you're snake dinner." Said Sho as he used his powers to pick up the snail and put it in his Tupperware box. He had a big one for the snakes, well technically it was for keeping big salads fresh but it could be used for other things, and now he had this little one for bugs. This was supposed to be used for making jello but…well this could be used for other things too.

But he did like jello….

But he could live without jello! The baby snakes, on the other hand, could not live without food.

He made sure not to touch the snail with his hands. He knew that snails had parasites and stuff, mom had warned him about them when he had been little, and he didn't want snail parasites. If he got snail parasites then he'd have to go to Fukuda and then Fukuda would ask him why he was touching snails in the first place and then Sho would have to explain to him what he had been doing…and he didn't want to do any explaining…or lying…and that was the same reason why he hadn't gotten all the baby snake bites on his arms looked at. They weren't that bad, he had seen worse snake bites on YouTube, and the bleeding had stopped eventually. Also these were not the venomous kind of snakes like big sis had thought because he was still alive. If these had been the dangerous kinds of snakes then he would have been dead by now.

So Sho one, big sis…he had lost count…but he had one and that was what mattered!

"Ok, who's next…how about you, garden beetle? I don't like Minegishi very much, they're my mortal enemy, but I need to get breakfast for my babies so then I can have breakfast." Said Sho as he went over to the berry bushes where he could see a whole group of beetles on the leaves. The whole thing was practically alive with beetles….and that was good…if the baby snakes liked beetles. Snails were a much more filling meal than beetles and the baby snakes needed to grow up big and strong…but also snails weren't bugs technically and the website hadn't said anything at all about snails so maybe beetles were the right things to collect.

Even if they were by the lemon trees.

There, by the berries, were these tiny lemon trees. Minegishi must have planted them to keep him away. They knew that he was allergic to citrus and they probably wanted him away from the house. They were still trying to keep Shimazaki from him. Their auras were together and he knew that if he kicked down Minegishi's door, it may have been made of metal but he was strong too and he could kick it down easily, but he wasn't going to kick that door down because he didn't want to see…

Because he had stuff to do.

He had baby snakes who were dependent on him for food and water and air holes in their snake bowl. He was needed and…and he didn't have time to feel stuff and be in love with Shimazaki and stuff. Sho had stuff to do and…and he was going to do that. He was going to stop looking at the house and he wasn't going to be afraid of being near the tiny lemon trees…with lemons growing on them….and he was going to collect the beetles with his powers and then….well and then he was going to feed the baby snakes and spend the day with them in the snake closet. He was going to read to them and…and make them happy and…and also try and figure out how to pick them up without getting bitten.

Maybe once they trusted him more.

They would trust him because he was going to be nice to them. When you were nice to someone then they would be with you for the rest of your life. They would love you and be your friend and stuff and…and that family of baby snakes would love him for the rest of his life….and he would love him for the rest of theirs…but it would be a very short life if he didn't get those snakes fed!

So that was what he was going to do.

Collecting bugs was easy with his powers. All he had to do was round them up and make them go into his big Tupperware. He could make the others stay in there when he opened it, too, and really he had no idea what people did without powers. All of their bugs would have escaped or something if they had snakes in their closets that needed to be fed and stuff…not that normal people had snakes in their closets and stuff, no, that would have been weird….and he was weird. That was fine, though, because at least he wasn't boring.

Shimazaki didn't like boring people.

But he liked THAT boring person. That person who's aura was coming closer and closer and closer to him. That person who was going to kick him out of their garden. That person who had planted tiny lemon trees in their garden to keep him out. That person who he knew didn't like him. That person who had been trying to take Shimazaki from him, to be not only his friend who he did stuff with sometimes but also his best friend, and Sho…he was Shimazaki's best friend! They were best friends and…and that was all that they could be….and that was ok with Sho and….

And he just didn't like Minegishi…alright?!

"What are you doing in my garden?" asked Minegishi. Sho didn't turn around. He didn't look at them. He knew that if he turned around and looked at them then he would have ended up sating something mean….and he didn't want to end up saying anything mean. He knew that if he was mean to Minegishi then not only would big sis be upset with him but Shimazaki would be too…and also the book that Minegishi had gotten him said that if something made him angry then he should avoid it…and sometimes even your mortal enemy could give you good books of advice so…yeah, he just was going to keep his back to them…and stuff.

"I'm doing you a favor and collecting all of these beetles. They were eating your plants." Said Sho. He wasn't going to tell them that he was collecting bugs to feed the baby snakes with. They would have just ended up telling big sis and then big sis would have been upset with him for bringing snakes and bugs into the house so he was just going to keep his mouth shut about all of this.

"You know you should look at people when they talk to you." Said Minegishi

"And you should say thank you when someone does something nice for you." Said Sho

"Alright then, thank you so much for pulling the leaves off of my blackberry bush. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't pulled the leaves off of my blackberry bush." Said Minegishi

"You're welcome, now let me work. Go inside and do whatever you do." Said Sho with a wave of his hand.

"My, you're so pleasant in the mornings aren't you, Sho?" asked Minegishi. Sho didn't turned around even though they shouldn't have been using his given name like he had given them permission to use it. That was why it was called a given name, because you were given permission to use it.

"More pleasant than you are." Said Sho. He was proud of himself. He hadn't turned around and he hadn't cursed. He knew that if he turned around he was going to say something super mean…and he knew that if he cursed, even though Minegishi deserved it, big sis would have been mad at him and he didn't need to make her mad. He had snakes in their closet. He did not need to be on her radar. She was already suspicious because he had turned the closet into his clubhouse…he didn't need to get back onto her radar and stuff.

"You little-no. You know what? I am not going to get into it with you today. I'm planning on asking your sister if she wants to go to the park later and you're welcome to join us." Said Minegishi. Sho stuck out his tongue even though he knew that they couldn't see it. Go to the park with them? With them and big sis? Well he liked going to the park and he liked big sis…but he did not like Minegishi. Them at a park? They would probably sit there being all boring and mean and stuff.

"With you? No way! You're my mortal enemy. Why would I do anything with you?" asked Sho

"If I were your mortal enemy then would I be warning you right now that those are dwarf lemon trees you're standing beside?" asked Minegishi

"I-I know about the lemon trees…and they don't scare me!" said Sho. He wasn't scared and…and he did not need Minegishi telling Shimazaki that he was scared of stuff. He didn't like people who were afraid of things. He said that fear was a gift that kept you alive but it also made you boring. If you spent your whole life being afraid of death then you could never truly live.

"Well then you're not as smart as you think you are because really you should be. Mob used the word 'deathly' many times so….yeah. Get away from the lemon trees." Said Minegishi. They thought that they were so smart…well they weren't! He could be near lemons! He could be near citrus without getting hurt and…and they didn't know what they were talking about!

"I'm not scared of anything!" said Sho. There were times in his life when he didn't think. Those had been the times that had made him try and walk across the garden wall back when he had lived in the Castle, the times that had made him have Shibata throw him on the roof, and the times that had made dad yell at him because he was 'a mistake who made mistakes' and other such dad things.

These were also the times that made him grab a lemon with his bare hands…way too hard.

Way, way, way too hard. He could feel the lemon juice on his hand and…and that was bad. The minute he felt it…the minute the sticky juice touched his hand….he could feel it getting itchy. It was itchy and he could see it turning red…he dropped the lemon. He dropped the lemon one second too late. His hand was already messed up and….and now his throat was getting itchy and he hadn't even EATEN anything! Maybe this part was in his head. Maybe he was just going over the last time he'd had a citrus fruit….the time with the grapefruit….the time when dad had left him to die…

He was not going to die.

"For the love of…come on. I'm not bothering Ryou or Mob with this." said Minegishi. They didn't wait for him to tell them to fuck off, and he did want to tell them to fuck off, they just grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down the street to Fukuda's house….and he did need to go and see Fukuda….and they had even taken his bug box from him and they were carrying it…and that was kind of nice and stuff…and he just…

Well maybe his mortal enemy could be kind of…not terrible.

"Here. Have this piece of pizza box cheese heal you up and then never go near my garden again. if you want to catch bugs then I know a few good beetle hunting spots, even for September, and I'll take you there…hell, I will draw you a fucking map, if you never go near my garden again….God…too damn early for this…" said Minegishi as they pounded on the door. Sho would have said something but he was itchy all over…and his eyes were burning…and he shouldn't have wiped his eyes with the back of his hand….

He had never been happier to feel Fukuda's aura in his life.

"Sho? Oh my God what did you-" said Fukuda as he opened the door. Sho knew that he would freak out, he always freaked out, and Sho did not need him to freak out right now. First of all Sho was the one who should have been freaking out since he was the one who had touched the lemon…and second of all whenever Fukuda got freaked out Sho had to spend a lot of time with him because he could be kind of emotional sometimes…and also he was really lonely and stuff…even though he was the one who was mean to people all the time…

He and Minegishi would have gotten along really well if he hadn't made the mistake of making fun of their boobs.

"Don't waste a perfectly good heart attack, Fukuda, the only thing I did was bring him to you after he messed with my lemon trees." Said Minegishi. They put Sho's bug box back in his hand. He held onto it…and the plastic felt good against his hand. It was warm, Osaka was weirdly hot even for Japan, but it still felt good against his hand. He was fine, though, he wasn't going to die from something as stupid as a lemon. He wanted to die either of being really old or doing something cool like riding in the outside of an airplane or diving into the ocean from a mountain or getting eaten by hamsters or something.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't grow lemon trees near a child who's allergic to citrus." Said Fukuda. Sho would have said something….but he couldn't. He had touched his face with his hand…and his face hadn't been ok and maybe he had accidentally sprayed himself in the face when he had squeezed the lemon too hard, but he was fine…mostly fine. Fine-ish….getting less fine maybe….but he didn't want to stop the fight. Their auras were getting all…fighty…and he did like a good fight.

"But then how will I symbolize my bitterness and disappointment?" asked Minegishi. Sho scratched at his hand as he looked up at both of them. Minegishi was such a jerk so of course Fukuda was going to be a jerk to them. At least Fukuda had an excuse for being a jerk. He had been dad's friend since he had been a kid, that was longer than Sho had even been alive for, and that was enough to make anyone into a jerk. Plus he was old, too, and old people could be grumpy. Also Sho got the feeling that he was still upset because that girl he had been in love with before, the one who he had told Sho about, couldn't be with him and now he didn't like girls at all anymore. That would have explained why he didn't like big sis…and stuff. Sure Fukuda was a jerk, and a secret teller, and also he didn't get along with anyone…

But at least he was less of a jerk than Minegishi.

"You don't have to symbolize it, it's written all over your face. Now leave me alone, you've done enough." Said Fukuda as he put his hand on Sho's back and led him inside the house. As he was led inside he could feel himself getting better. Hi eyes get less itchy and watery and his throat was less scratching and his skin didn't itch and burn….and as a bonus all of his snake bites got better too. He felt fine and he could have gone back outside and collected more bugs to feed the baby snakes but he didn't.

He let himself get led to the kitchen table.

Fukuda led him to a chair and he sat down. It was still breakfast time…and big sis was making the same thing she did every morning…and she was expecting him…but Fukuda had nobody to eat with and also he had gone through the trouble of helping Sho so the least he could do was sit down at the table and have breakfast with him and stuff.

So that was what he did.

"No bugs on the table, please." Said Fukuda as he went over to the cabinet. There was already a bowl of plain oatmeal, a piece of toast with butter, and a cup of coffee on the table. Nothing that Sho would have wanted. Fukuda was looking through his cabinets and he probably had some Sho food in there and it would have been ride of him to tell Fukuda that he had his own family that he wanted to eat with. Well his own sister. Dad could go come and eat with Fukuda for all Sho cared.

"Fine." Said Sho as he put his bug box down on the floor next to him. He wondered how long those bugs could live in there without air holes. Would the baby snakes eat the dead bugs? He really didn't know. He just knew that snakes were carnivores and bugs were on the list of things that they liked to eat. He had to feed the baby snakes…but he supposed that he could stay for a little bit. He had to feed the baby snakes but if he didn't eat something then he would die and if he died then who was going to feed the baby snakes?

"So, leprechaun cereal or poptarts?" asked Fukuda as he pulled a box of lucky charms and a box of s'mores poptarts from the cabinet. Well now really couldn't leave. Fukuda had gone through the trouble of getting his favorite breakfast foods after all…though Sho would need to pick the non-marshmallow pieces out of the box. Big sis never let him do that but Fukuda…well he complained but he never told him now. He was nice like that. He could be nice sometimes.

"You can call them lucky charms…but I want both…and a can of coke." Said Sho. Fukuda put the cereal and poptarts down in front of him along with a bowl. When he went to the fridge he stopped moving. Sho didn't get what the holdup was about. He needed liquids to live since his body was mostly liquids and if he didn't drink then he would die of dehydration.

"It's not even seven in the morning, Sho." said Fukuda with his head in the fridge. It was more polite to look at someone when you talked to them but he wasn't a jerk like Minegishi.

"I know, I can tell time you know. I'm not a baby anymore. Now get me a can of coke…but if you don't have any coke at all then I'll just drink plain cola." Said Sho. Fukuda knew that he liked coke best and if he had gone through the trouble of getting his favorite breakfast foods then he should have gone through the trouble of getting his favorite breakfast drinks, too. It was only polite.

"Sho…I'm just not sure if you should be having that much caffeine and sugar this early in the morning." Said Fukuda

"Why not? You have coffee in the mornings and you put cream and sugar in that." Said Sho

"Ok, you win…but you get one can of coke and you have to sip it." Said Fukuda as he came out of the fridge. He set a can of coke next to Sho and opened it for him. Before Sho would even have a drink Fukuda went into the drawer behind him and got out a crazy straw…and even though he could be a real jerk sometimes he did know what Sho liked…so there was that.

"Thanks." Said Sho before he took a drink of his coke. Was there anything in the world that didn't taste better through a crazy straw? Maybe beer. He didn't much like beer but Shimazaki liked it so they drank together sometimes…even though it tasted terrible and too much of it made Sho sick…but maybe if he drank it through a crazy straw it would have been better. Not that that he was going to ask Fukuda for a crazy straw to take home. He would just ask Sho why he needed it and it would turn into a thing and he didn't want to have to deal with anything right now. Just breakfast and then baby snakes. There. He could deal with all of that.

"I said to sip it." Said Fukuda shaking his head. What? Sho was sipping it. He was just doing big sips was all.

"I am. The straw is just really long and crazy and that makes my sips long and crazy. It all makes sense once you think about it." Said Sho as he finished his extra long sip. Fukuda just shook his head and laughed a little even though nothing was funny.

"Does it now?" asked Fukuda. Sho still didn't get what was so funny. The straw was crazy but if he laid it out flat it would be really long, not that he was in the mood to ruin his crazy straw, and then because the straw was so long his sips would be extra long too. That was just how things worked. This wasn't complicated at all.

"It does…and let me pour my own cereal. I have to make sure that I don't get any non-marshmallow pieces in the bowl." Said Sho as he picked the cereal bits out piece by piece. Dad said that he was tedious and tiresome and annoying when he did this…but that wasn't there. Big sis wasn't there, either, to tell him that he needed to have all of his food groups and that included non-marshmallow cereal bits. There were some perks to having breakfast with Fukuda.

"Sorry, sorry. I looked but they didn't have the leprechaun cereal you like, the kind that's all marshmallow pieces." Said Fukuda. Sho cringed when he said leprechaun cereal. That was what mom had called it back when he had been really little. He didn't want to think about that. She had only made leprechaun cereal for him and big sis when she had been all sick and tired all day….and then she had gotten too sick and too tired to even do that and then big sis had been the one in charge of feeding him….but she had been little and she had only known how to make cereal….

Sho put a handful of cereal into his bowl. He didn't care what pieces he got.

"You can call it by it's real name, you know. I'm not a baby anymore." Said Sho

"Sorry, that's just what you used to call it when you were little-" said Fukuda

"Well I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm a big kid now and I can call things by their names." Said Sho. Now he was just putting cereal in his bowl…and maybe too much because it was coming out of his bowl now. Way too much. He should have stopped a while ago but he didn't…and that was that. He couldn't put the wet pieces back in the box, that would ruin it, so now he just had to deal with the mistake that he had made and pray that he had enough room left in his stomach for poptarts.

"Ok, ok, you aren't a little kid anymore…you're a big kid now and you can call things by their names…and also you can try to stay away from citrus." Said Fukuda. Sho rolled his eyes. He knew that tone. Fukuda was getting ready to tell him that he had done something wrong. Well he didn't need the lecture. He knew that citrus was something that could kill him, that was how allergies worked, and he knew now that he should have been afraid of those mini lemon trees. He wanted to enjoy his breakfast in peace not go over every single mistake that he had ever made in his life.

"Fukuda, I know. Just let me eat." Said Sho. If he had wanted someone to go on and on and on about how he had messed up he would have had breakfast with his dad. He didn't need this from Fukuda along with dad.

"Alright, alright. Just remember, Minegishi was wrong for planting those trees so near to where you play-" said Fukuda

"Fukuda!" said Sho. Nope. He wasn't in the mood for any of this. He was in the mood to have breakfast, the good kind, not the kind like he'd have had with dad.

"But you…well you're getting older and you should just stay out of their garden all together, alright?" said Fukuda

"Yes, ok, message received. Can I please just sit here and eat my breakfast?" said Sho. Dad would never have let him talk like that…not that Sho hadn't said much worse…but dad always got upset. He had said it, before, that he wished that Fukuda had been his dad…and he still meant it. Even if he had started to be sort of a jerk to big sis, and also if he had told his secrets to dad, he still would have made a better dad than dad.

And he was better breakfast company than dad, too.

"Alright, alright." Said Fukuda. There was some quiet there….and now it was too quiet. But he should have been happy for the quiet. If he had been at home then dad would have been telling him over and over again how annoying he was and big sis would have been telling dad that he needed to be nicer and it would have been the same thing that he had been listening to every single morning for he didn't even know how long.

"Thanks, for saving me…I mean….and don't say anything about me staying away from lemons. I know to stay away from lemons. I'm not a moron." Said Sho. He'd had to say something and now he had…but maybe he should have waited until Fukuda was done with his coffee. Now there was more silence while he swallowed…and he didn't have to look so happy and stuff. Sho had just said thanks, he hadn't told Fukuda that he was the best person ever to live or anything like that.

"You're welcome…and I never meant to call you a moron. You're a smart kid, Sho. You know that I think you're a smart kid." Said Fukuda. Sho…well he knew that Fukuda thought that he was smart…because he was smart! Dad may have thought that he was an moron but big sis said that he was smart…and mom had said that he was smart…and Fukuda thought that he was smart…and he knew that he was smart so fuck dad and fuck what dad thought. Sho knew that he was smart and….and stuff….

And dad wasn't there so why did he even care what he thought?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know it too." Said Sho as he ate. Some cereal bits fell onto his shirt. He looked down and ate them off…and he saw his bug box too. The bug weren't moving and…he tapped it with his foot…ok. They were moving. They weren't dead. That was good. The baby snakes deserved fresh food.

"So, you're collecting bugs now, huh? Well I don't much like bugs but I like it better than your last hobby." Said Fukuda. Sho drank the rest of his cereal and decided to leave the poptart for later. He didn't want to leave the poptart but he also didn't want to talk about the bugs. If he talked about the bugs then he might end up talking about the baby snakes…and he didn't really want to talk about the baby snakes.

"Yeah, I have a lot of hobbies. Anyway I have to go now and do…stuff. Anyway thanks for breakfast. See you la-" said Sho as he started to get up from the table. He stopped midway through. He could feel Fukuda's aura…and he knew that aura.

"Wait, your last hobby…wasn't that bad…and it's been a while since you practiced and you'll never be a good tattoo artist if you don't practice." Said Fukuda. Sho…well he had baby snakes to feed…but Fukuda was a person and he loved him and stuff….and anyway it wouldn't take so long if he used his powers to do a bunch of pokes at once…and also Fukuda had stuff to do probably so Sho wouldn't stay all day….

"Sure, just let me go home and get my tools." Said Sho. He would let the bugs go in the closet when he got home. He would have wanted to stay there with the baby snakes to make sure that they ate….but Fukuda needed him too and he had to be there for Fukuda. Who else would be, dad? No way. Dad didn't care about anyone other than himself. That would have been the real trick.

Forget teaching snakes to be vegetarians, teaching dad how to be a good person…now that would be the real trick.