FarCry

Part One

It would be difficult to decide who was kicking themselves more: if it were Blackfire, if it were Robin, if it were Star, Beast Boy, Celine or Speedy. The level and depth of their anguish was variant but undeniably deep.

Star sat on her bed, holding her arm. Blackfire sat beside her, with her face in both hands. Starfire could almost see the memory that was playing in front of her sister's eyes, that moment that had been so wonderful for Blackfire just a few months ago.

ºThat night on Tameran they had all stood together, Blackfire, Terra, Sakura, Star and Raven. The night had been dissolving, and Blackfire had just left Aqualad's hospital room to get the shut eye when Raven pulled her aside and hugged her.

"Are you okay?" Raven asked.

"I think so yes. Aqualad is not seriously harmed." Blackfire replied.

"I'm glad." Sakura replied.

"How's Foxfire?" Terra asked.

"His wounds are not of the physical." Starfire said sadly and Blackfire nodded in agreement.

"I need to speak to him, but I cannot think of the appropriate words to say." Blackfire said. "I am always hurting people I care about."

Starfire grabbed her sister by the face, gently cupping the older girl's cheeks in both hands. "Sister, do not say such things!" Blackfire tried to look away, but Star wouldn't let her. "You have made mistakes, but we have all made mistakes, what matters is what we do with our futures." Raven and Sakura nodded in agreement.

"I do not deserve such good friends." A tear slipped across her cheeks.

Raven shook her head. "Blackfire… you are still our friend and I believe you're a good person. You wanted to do better and you have. I trust you to keep being a good friend."

Blackfire smiled. So did Star.

"So," Sakura said, "Not to break up the mood or anything, but Speedy was wondering if I could keep that dress."

The girls' laughter was an uproar. º

I trust you to keep being a good friend… Raven trusted me and I have betrayed that trust…

"Sister," Starfire began, placing her hand on Blackfire's shoulder. "You must not feel bad. What has happened could not be stopped."

"Yes it could have! If I had not been so foolish, you could have caught Terra instead of rescuing me!"

"It is not your fault, nor is it mine. What Terra has done… it is something we could not stop. I regret, too, not catching her, but I do not regret rescuing you."

"Raven trusted me to be a good friend! A good friend would not have let that Bruvian Norkbat get away."

Starfire's eyes widened at the curse word, such a term was on levels with the term used to insult Tameranians; it wasn't used nearly as often, but it was equally as devastating to the person who used the term as to the one being insulted. Starfire thought for a moment, tried to think of something to soothe the unrest they both felt in their hearts.

"Sister, we will find Raven."

"I feel so useless…"

"Please, we are all very saddened, but there is a chance to find her… we have already found Sakura."

"Terra gave her to us." Blackfire corrected, the words bringing displeasure to her face.

Starfire shook her head slightly, in that gentle way that she did. "From what I overheard, it is possible that Terra has also given us a way to find Raven as well."

…

Speedy had laid Sakura as gently as a new born onto the bedding in the medical room. The other Titans were afraid to come closer to the pair, Robin and Celine the only ones able to step more than a foot into the room. Speedy's fingers traced along the sides of Sakura's slack face. She was breathing, he had felt it on his neck when he had held her close.

They're playing a game with our lives… they're stringing us along by the love the Titans have for each other… The love Robin has for Raven, the love I have for Sakura, the love the Titans have for all of us…

Celine had yielded to Speedy and allowed him to place the monitor patches onto Sakura's body. His fingers had been careful, ghosting over the bruises on her face, on her chest and stomach, each one was a world wound to Speedy. Robin's throat clenched, his masked eyes could see the whole of the desperation in his teams' faces. He could feel it to his bones.

Is this how they felt the first time, when I was laying there? Sakura, please be okay… our friends can't go through this again… I don't know if I can…

Celine looked from her diagnostic readings to her friends hovering over the damaged Sakura. Speedy had laid a moist cloth against Sakura's forehead and used another to wipe off her face and neck. He lifted one of her hands in his, her slack fingers nearly floating in his palm they were so lifeless. Celine couldn't tell if Speedy was close to tears or rage as his hands cupped his girlfriend's fingers. His breathing was hard, uneven; he looked ready to fall apart.

Celine's attention turned from the pair when he heard Cyborg yell. "BB! Wait!" Celine's eyes had caught just a trace of the boy as he fled down the hallway with the cybernetic older Titan chasing after him. Celine's heart constricted, her throat tightened and in her sights, one by one, the Titans left the hallway to give Celine, Robin and Speedy alone time with Sakura.

She had turned her head away from computers just in time to see Speedy move the cloth he was using to clean Sakura down her arm towards her fingers.

"Stop!" She said firmly.

Robin turned to Celine with his eyes narrowed. Speedy spoke.

"I want to get all this dirt off of her… all the traces of whatever Terra did to her."

"That dirt might be the only clue to getting back to where Terra did it."

"What do you mean?" Robin asked, his gaze bouncing slowly between Sakura and Celine.

"If Sakura and Raven were held in the same place, that dirt could give us a clue to where that place is."

Celine rummaged for a few seconds before she found a kit beneath a cabinet and brought it over to Speedy. "It's obvious from the bruises that Terra attacked her… and knowing Terra she probably used the earth to do it…"

Robin caught on quickly as Celine opened the kit. "Terra can't generate soil, so she would have to use whatever's nearby… probably what was under her feet."

"And Sakura wouldn't go down without a fight… she probably caught some of it under her finger nails… if I can get some to analyze, I might be able to trace it back to wherever the Syndicate is hiding."

It became apparently clear that Speedy didn't want to relinquish his hold on the wounded Titan. Celine didn't know what to say to inspire such generosity and while her throat clenched, Robin stepped forward. "Speedy, this is as hard for me as it is for you… but we need to do this…We know that Sakura's out of harm's way… we can't lose the chance to do the same with Raven."

Speedy tightened his grip on one hand and gently spread Sakura's fingers for Celine to clean. Celine tried not to look back at Speedy, because she knew from the trembling of Sakura's fingers that Speedy was trembling.

"We're going to make the Syndicate pay and we're going to get Raven back… and it's going to be from this… whether or not she knew it, Speedy, Sakura's going to have a big part in saving Raven and the rest of the world."

"Right now, I just want to save Sakura. Do you think it's the same thing that happened to Robin?"

"Don't know yet, I've got a few more tests to run before I can say anything, so far my tests are inconclusive… besides the broken leg nothing is physically wrong with her."

"There's something wrong." Robin said. "Sakura doesn't just go down without… without something terrible happening… I want to know what it is and what we can do about it."

Celine closed the collection jar, the tiny particles of soil weren't enough to line the bottom, but it was something… and something was better than nothing. The slender genius rubbed her forehead, her fingers ghosting over the scar on her forehead.

Robin saw it all, saw Celine take on a strong face as she felt the double impact of what Terra had done to Sakura and to her. Robin gazed at his sister's slack form, remembering before when another monster had incapacitated her body and left her for dead. Robin left Sakura in Speedy's care and fled to his own room.

Speedy held Sakura's palm against his lips, trying to find some calm with the weak throb of her heartbeat echoing in her skin. The uncertainty of loss was replaced with the uncertainty of tomorrow. Celine's initial diagnostics had all but presumed Sakura dead, just as it had with Robin. But like her brother, Sakura couldn't just end and very weakly Sakura persisted. After Starfire, Speedy had felt the impact of Robin's suspension from reality the greatest and only after only a week, he was back to where he was for three months.

Will it be the same this time? Will he have to wait three days? Three hours? Three months? Longer?

…

Days past and Sakura wasn't recovering… neither were the rest of the Titans. As Celine and Cyborg moved forward with the analysis of the soil samples they recovered, the rest of the Titans drew backwards when the remembered where the soil had come from. Getting a part of their team back was a great relief, but seeing her in such a weak state broke their hearts and made them fear for Raven.

The emotional outpours had all but incapacitated D'ucel and the Tameranian warrior spent most of his time away from the tower in isolation or on networking missions. A lot of that emotional burden had come from Robin and Speedy and also Blackfire, but the most crippling of those negative and sorrowful feelings were borne from Beast Boy.

The changeling had been in the room: had seen Sakura fall, had seen Terra flee, but from where he had stood, it was unlikely that Terra had seen him. Beast Boy was the kind to have his heart constantly on his shoulder, no matter how often he was pushed. When he saw Terra, heard her voice filled with such hate and disregard for the lives of his friends, it felt like dying on the inside and living, breathing, suffering on the outside.

Celine and Cyborg waited outside of Beast Boy's room.

"Beast Boy, won't you please come out?" Celine called through the door. Just as it had been for days, Beast Boy didn't respond. Cyborg looked over Celine's shoulders to the solid door marked Beast Boy. He could see Celine's shoulders dropping with her sigh. One of his large hands fell across her arm. The girl genius turned her head to look at it, then turned even more to look at him.

"Don't get yourself down about this, Omicron. He was the same way the first time Terra betrayed us. No amount of threatening to beat his door down or pleading is going make him readier than he would be than if we left him alone. Maybe we should leave him alone for a bit."

"I don't know…"

"We're all feeling a bit down, but the best thing we can do is keep going… I'm going to check and see if Fox has made any more contacts."

Celine nodded and watched him go. Her pretty face was tight for a moment with a frown as his proud shoulders seemed to be drooping more and more by the day as they were making less and less headway.

Celine didn't want to think about the full ramifications of their continuing failure. It was something that burned at the girl genius every night when she took her three hour sleep on the couch. She hadn't slept in her own bedroom since Sakura's return. It had felt empty before the girl was retrieved, but with her roommate in a state where Celine could do no good for her, sleeping in that room didn't feel right.

It burned Celine to no end to know that no aspect of her genius was able to help the Titans. All her tests and connections were getting them no closer to stopping and reversing the terrible plan that they didn't know the full extent of.

The only thing Celine knew the full extent of was the way the plot against the rest of the world was affecting the Titans: specifically the Titan on the other end of the door. Celine sat down on the floor, her left shoulder pressed against the wall, inches separated her from Beast Boy. It was far enough that the distance felt crippling.

"There's a lot of blame going around…" Celine began, her voice was loud enough to carry through the wall, but obviously meant for one listener. "And none of its pointed to where it's supposed to be… You… Robin… Me… Cyborg… we all feel guilty for what's happened. We all should have seen it coming, we should have been more careful… but that's the consequence of youth and love and friendship. No matter what we did… Terra would have done what she did… we can't blame ourselves for the anger and spite in her nature. We tried our best to make her feel she was welcome."

"Did we?"

Celine turned towards the door. Beast Boy stood, looking ragged as if his emotional pain had poured out and punished his body.

Celine nodded. Beast Boy looked down and distinctly away from Celine. "I'm not so sure…"

Celine stood up and hugged the shorter Beast Boy. He closed his eyes for a moment, then raised his arms gently to push her away.

"I let her down Celine… don't you see? I… I ignored her when she needed me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I never wanted her to get hurt ever… but I couldn't forget the past… so I tried to look away… tried to see her as a different person… but she wasn't different. She was the same sad, scared girl that she always was… and I let her keep feeling that way."

"Beast Boy… you were the best friend that girl ever had… it's in no way your fault that she didn't… doesn't appreciate that. You're a good person and I refuse to let you feel like this is your fault."

Beast Boy shook his head in the negative. "You were the only one who was good to her."

"Some how I don't think she saw it that way. We were all good to her in our own way… we're paying a terrible price for it… but would you rather have it any other way?"

Beast Boy balled his fist and threw the top half of his body into his yell. "Of course! I wish she hadn't done what she did! I wish we were smart enough to see what she was doing! I wish I could take back all the awful things I let her do!"

"But you wouldn't ever regret giving her that second chance would you?" Celine asked.

Beast Boy turned his eyes away, his lungs forcing his chest to rise and fall painfully. It took him a few seconds to calm himself, when his mind wrapped around Celine's meaning. "I know what you want me to say… and in my heart I know its true… but the rest of me can't let myself believe that."

Celine shook her head. "Feelings are feelings because we can't control them… that's why they're ours. The irrational part of our hearts, hope is what makes us what we are… that kind part in your heart should be what you believe in Beast Boy… please don't ever let that beautiful thing die out."

Beast Boy stepped in and hugged her, his chin pressed into her neck. He could feel the way her heart throbbed powerfully against his chest when her arms wrapped around him. He swore for a moment that Celine cried right there.

She knows the human heart because she loves a mechanical man…

Beast Boy pulled away from her. He was right. There was a single tear running down her cheek. When she noticed that he noticed, she quickly wiped the tear away.

"We'll figure this out Beast Boy. We'll find Raven and save Sakura and… we'll do what we can for her… I…"

Beast Boy reached up and pushed away the remaining tear from off her cheek. His fingers skirted higher, his thumb just missing the end of Celine's scar; that wound from Terra that just wouldn't heal.

"I know Celine… Thank you…"

Beast Boy smiled and Celine smiled back. He turned to walk back into his room when he stopped and gave her one more look over his shoulder. "He's lucky to have you." His door slid shut; Celine did her best to walk away.

If that's the way it is, than that's the way it is.

End of Part One