Maybe if Sho had named that snake then it would have come when he called it.
"Needs-A-Name….where are you? Come on, I have lots of tasty bugs for you to eat…come out, come out, wherever you are." Said Sho as he crawled along the kitchen floor. Snakes liked warm places and the kitchen was the warmest room in the house. Big sis was always cooking in here and, well, this was the only place left to look…well the only place left to look, really, was dad's room but Sho knew better than to go in there.
And so did Needs-A-Name.
He must have been in the kitchen somewhere. The whole room was hot, big sis had something going on the stove, and snakes loved hot places. Also Needs-A-Name hadn't been in his room or the bathroom or any of the closets or anywhere in the living room. So this was the last place to look besides dad's room. He was down on his hands and knees looking for snake holes, snakes lived in holes the internet had said, but so far all he found were crumbs, old cereal pieces, and a button.
The search continued.
He used his powers to move the fridge out of the way. Maybe…no. Nothing under there but more crumbs and a bottle cap. Not even another button. Sho had no idea what this button went to, it was small and white, but maybe if he found more then he could figure it out….he was looking for snakes, not buttons! He was looking for snakes and he had to keep his head in the game! And this wasn't even a game! This was real! There was a little lost snake somewhere in the house and it was cold and hungry and hadn't had a bedtime story in a while….and he had to find this snake!
He or she, Sho didn't want to invade their privacy by checking, had to be somewhere!
So he kept on crawling. He put the fridge back and then made another circuit in the kitchen. Maybe behind the dishwasher...nope, that wasn't coming out. Sho tried to move it with his powers but it was stuck inside of the wall and stuff…probably by pipes. He knew that he was strong enough that he could have ripped it out if he wanted to but he really didn't want to. Big sis would have been upset that he had ruined her kitchen and then dad would have been upset that Sho had made big sis upset. All he cared about was big sis. Big sis and whatever he was doing on his phone all day every day.
Like now.
Sho had felt him coming but he made no move to get up. He wasn't going to just jump to his feet because his dad told him to…and he didn't even say anything. He just walked over Sho, stepped right over him, and sat down at the table. He never looked up from his phone. He was typing and then when he typed his aura was all…sort of like waves at the beach….but then when he stopped typing his aura was more like waves at the beach but when the moon was coming up. All…big…and stuff. Sho didn't know what was up with that and he didn't care to know what was up with that. Dad could live the rest of his life as a phone zombie for all Sho cared. He had a mission to fulfil!
Also dad could go suck a bunch of dicks for ten yen coins in a public bathroom during golden week for as much as Sho cared.
"What are you doing on the floor?" asked dad. What, so now he finally noticed him? Sho wanted to tell him…well a lot of stuff…but he could feel big sis's aura. She was in a bad mood. Her aura was like waves at the beach but during a storm. She didn't need him pissing her off more…even though dad was the one who pissed him off in the first place so, really, it was his fault….but Sho was going to try and stay calm. For big sis's sake.
"Looking for stuff. Why do you care?" asked Sho sticking out his tongue. It didn't matter that he had done that. Dad was still looking down at his phone like it was the most interesting thing in the whole world or something.
"I don't." said dad. Sho had no idea what dad had felt the need to just come out and say something so obvious. Sho knew that dad didn't care if he lived or died…well he sort of did…but only because he needed more Suzuki's for the bloodline and stuff. The stupid bloodline. Since that was the only thing that dad cared about Sho had no idea why dad even bothered talking to him or being around him. Why not just leave him back at the Castle and-
And Sho needed to calm down before big sis felt his aura and asked what was going on.
"Then why did you even ask?" asked Sho
"Because you're being strange and I thought that you might have been down there for a reason. If you're just being ridiculous go and be ridiculous somewhere else. This is your sister's workspace." Said dad
"It's a kitchen." Said Sho. This room wasn't for working. It was for eating and snacking and also snake searching.
"I know that it's a kitchen but your sister works in here. She works hard to cook our meals and we should show our gratitude by not making her role any more difficult than it has to be. You have no idea how difficult it is to cook…what is it that she's got going in that pot?" asked dad
"I don't know." Said Sho. It smelled good and it had been cooking for a while. That was all he knew and that was all that he wanted to know. He had been trying not to unmix his foods when he ate them. It made big sis upset. She didn't need to be upset, not after what she had gone through, and not after what she was going to be going through over and over again until she died…it sucked to be a girl…way more than it sucked to be a boy, anyway, from what he had read. Nothing that bad ever happened to boys…but he sort of wished that it did. Just to dad, though, only him and nobody else.
"Well then you need to check." Said dad. He didn't even look up from his phone when he said that….and he was even smiling! That bastard….that miserable fucking bastard! He just…calm down, Sho, come on. One, two, two and a half, two and two halves, two and a quarter….that was going the wrong way…three and a quarter…that was better….three and two quarters…..
"Big sis says that I'm not allowed to touch the stove." Said Sho. That wasn't a lie. Big sis thought that he was going to burn himself like a little baby if he touched the stove. He wasn't, he knew not to go and stick his hands in fire, but he didn't want to have to get up off the floor and be dad's personal 'checking what was for dinner' slave. Dad had legs and arms and powers. He could have gotten up and checked on his own.
"In that case leave it alone…and come up off the floor. You're a human being. Act like it." Said dad. Sho…well he didn't want to get up but…well he didn't want to fight with dad either. Big sis didn't need this right now. She'd spent the day on the couch with a hot water bottle on her stomach. He knew what that meant, and also he knew that it meant that she wasn't dying, and he knew that she didn't need him fighting with dad….besides, he was almost eleven. He was getting too old to fight with dad…even though he deserved it. He deserved to be fought with better than he deserved to be called 'dad'….
Because he was a really sucky dad.
Sho didn't know why dad had to be this way. Fukuda had said that dad had always been a jerk since day one. Sho didn't know why Fukuda had been friends with dad if he had been a jerk since the first day that they had met but he didn't get a lot of things about Fukuda…but at least he was nicer than dad. If Sho'd had a choice then he would have been eating dinner with Fukuda. He may have told Sho's secrets, and he may have been sort of a jerk to big sis, but he was still better at being a dad than his own dad was. Fukuda…he listened to Sho and he cared how he felt and he was always so nice, even if he did treat Sho liked a baby, and also he let Sho do tattoos on them even though he said that doing tattoos was only for criminals….
Sho wished that he had been eating with Fukuda…but he had to find Needs-A-Name so that meant that he had to stay in the house.
Maybe he could get Shimazaki to help. He'd been sort of avoiding Shimazaki since the whole 'tattoo' thing…not that he thought that Shimazaki hated him or anything, Shimazaki could never hate him, but because…because Shimazaki might not have thought that he was cool…and also Sho needed to fall out of love with him. He had been in love with Shimazaki since before he even knew that he liked guys like that…well part of him had always known but…but he hadn't been able to put it into words…but now he could. His name was Suzuki Sho and he liked boys instead of girls…but he couldn't be with the guy he liked because of a lot of reasons…and he had a girlfriend because of a lot of the same reasons….but at least now he could say it….
Only to big sis, and maybe Fukuda but no since he figured it out on his own, and never to dad….who would hate him if he knew…since he was barely even a dad really.
"…you're a dad. Act like it." Muttered Sho as he stood up and went to the table. This time dad looked up….fine. Whatever. Dad could look at him all he wanted to. That didn't change the fact that he sucked as a dad and he almost wished that Fukuda had been his dad instead of dad…but not really because then he wouldn't have been able to be big sis's little brother…which was the only good thing about being related to dad. He got to be related to big sis too.
"What did you just say to me?" asked dad. Great. He knew that aura too. That was like how the water pulled back from the shore before a tsunami, a tsunami would have been better than this actually because at least then he would have been able to get to higher ground to escape, and there was no escaping dad when he got like this. His aura was all pulled in and his eyes were super blue and he only got like that when he was super pissed off…and Sho didn't care at all that he was super pissed off. He could take whatever dad dished out. He'd been taking it since he had been little.
He felt big sis's aura.
He could take it but she couldn't. He had spent years of his life, too many years, acting like a jerk and making her life harder than it had to be. He wasn't going to be that person anymore. Not to her or…well to anyone…not that he had been a jerk to anyone but her. He just…had to be the bigger man. He was going to be eleven soon and he had to act like it…and stuff….and acting like an eleven year old meant not making his big sis's life worse.
Also if dad hurt him really bad then he would have to go to Fukuda, and he'd probably make Sho have a sleepover with him because that was just what he did whenever dad punished him, and Sho wasn't in the mood for that right now since he had to find Needs-A-Name before someone else did.
"Nothing." Said Sho. He wanted to tell dad that he was a sucky human being and dad and that he sucked at everything he tried.
"No, you said something and I want to know what it was." Said dad. Sho knew that he knew. He just wanted Sho to say it again so that dad would have an excuse to punish him and Sho wasn't stupid enough to give him that excuse.
"Well you can want whatever you want but that doesn't change the fact that I didn't say anything." Said Sho crossing his arms. Dad needed to know when to quit. Sho wasn't some traitor, he wasn't going to talk just because dad was being all mean and stuff. He would sit here for the rest of his life and not say a word if he had to.
"No, you did and-" said dad. He stopped talking and turned around. Sho did too. Big sis was there. She was standing there behind them and she…well she was sort of like a tsunami too….but a little one…if that made sense. She was focused on dad, now, not him…which was good. Her aura was focused on dad so maybe she wouldn't blame Sho for what had happened…and he hadn't even done anything! Dad just felt like being a jerk…and stuff…
"Dad, why are you and Sho fighting?" asked big sis. She looked kind of like mom then. She had her arms crossed and she was looking at dad like he was in trouble. Mom looked at him like that sometimes too.
"He…said something that sounded…like something that he should not have said to me. I am his father and he will speak to me respectfully." Said dad. Big sis nodded.
"Sho should be nice, you're right, and he's going to apologize if he said something mean. Sho, if you said something mean to dad you should say that you're sorry right now." Said big sis. Sho….well he knew that telling lies was wrong…but starting fights was even more wrong. This was one of those pragmatic choice things that Fukuda had told him about.
"I didn't say anything mean." Said Sho. Dad was still looking at him like he wanted to hit him…but what else was new? Dad was always like that. The only person he liked was big sis. Fukuda said that dad was that way because he was afraid of the way he felt and when he got afraid he got scared and when he got scared he hit people…or something like that. Sho didn't care why he did it. Sho didn't care what kind of reasons dad had that didn't excuse the fact that he had been a jerk to Sho for his entire life.
"There. Now both of you stay sitting and I'll get you some dinner. I made Oden…and don't worry, Sho, I'll unmix the ingredients for you." Said big sis. Sho…he liked Oden…well he didn't dislike it…but it was way too hot for Oden. Too hot for any kind of stew, really, but he wasn't going to say anything. He just sat down and stared at dad while big sis set the table. The spoons and chopsticks flew out of the drawers, the napkins flew off of the napkin ring, and the bowls formed a line at the pot while she filled them. There was a bowl there with food for dad, one with food for her, and then a bunch of little bowls for Sho. She took the whole thing apart to give him some of everything without it mixing up…and she had even made him a bowl of broth. The whole thing came together on the table in front of him…and he only had one thing to say to that.
"Thanks for the food!" said Sho. He meant it. He didn't even wait for dad to say it too. He just said it and then started eating. He ate really fast and stuff so that she knew that her cooking was good. She needed to feel happy. She was going through a lot and stuff…and also dad wasn't worth.
"Thank you for the food, Shigeko, though….why did you make this? Oden is a winter food." Said dad. Sho stabbed a fish ball with his chopsticks. Dad called her by her real given name…probably because he liked her best. She used to be Daughter and he used to be Son but now she was Shigeko but he didn't get to be Sho. He was still Son…that was all he was to dad. Son. A son was just…not even a person. Just…someone who came from you and passed on the family name and your genetics and stuff….and she at least got to be Shigeko…
He was Sho to her.
She called him Sho, well sometimes little brother, but usually Sho…and she liked him. She liked him for being Sho and not just for being her little brother…and he had to keep it that way. There weren't any knives on the table but there were plenty in the knife block…and he didn't want to kill dad just…make him feel bad…and he didn't know if…well he did know that it was ok. Shimazaki had stabbed his dad, and twisted the knife too, and then his dad had started to respect him as a man. Sho wasn't a man, he wasn't even eleven, and…and he still wanted dad to respect him…but he got the feeling that if he stabbed dad then the only person who would respect him more was Shimazaki…and that would have been pretty great….Shimazaki thinking that he was cool and stuff….
But then big sis would be mad at him for stabbing dad and he didn't want her to be mad at him….even if dad deserved a good stabbing.
"Because it's easy and I felt like it…and if you guys don't like it then you can eat something else…but I'm not going to cook anything else because my stomach hurts and I'm tired." Said big sis. What kind of a jerk did she think that he was? Of course he wasn't going to go and make her cook him a whole new meal. She wasn't Shibata. He liked to cook….not that Sho was going to be mean and go and have a whole other dinner…but if dad wanted to go somewhere else to eat then it should have. Nobody would have missed him.
"No, this is fine, I was just curious. You've made a very good meal here, Shigeko, so thank you for that." Said dad. Sho had been about to say that! Well not in those words but he had been about to say something like it, his mouth was just full, and it was still full…but he could still talk…and he would still talk!
"You're welcome dad and-" said big sis
"This is really good! Thanks! You're the best cook in the whole world and-" said Sho. He swallowed as much as he could but fish balls pieces and broth still got on the table…but that was fine. He could clean it up later. Dad didn't have to be all upset and stuff…and Sho could tell that he was pissed off. What did he care? He drank glasses of ketchup when he thought that nobody was paying attention! What gave him the right to look at Sho like he was….some kind of gross person…or something!?
"Thank you very much Sho and dad…and um Sho…maybe while your mouth is full you could-" said big sis.
"Chew and swallow before you speak. You're not a baby." Said dad. Sho opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. He hadn't been thinking when he did that, he had just been really pissed off, but now what was done was done and dad was all pissed off or whatever…and now big sis was pissed off too and that was what he really worried about.
"Sho!" said big sis. She picked up a napkin with her powers and wiped his mouth off. She was always so nice to him like that. She wiped his mouth, even though he wasn't baby sis and he could wipe his own mouth, but that was better than what dad probably wanted to do. He looked like he wanted to slap the taste out of Sho's mouth…and he probably would have, too, if big sis hadn't been there.
"Even babies know how to open and close their mouths…now stop that. You're being disgusting." Said dad. Sho would have opened his mouth again just to show dad how disgusting that he could be…but big sis was there and her aura was upset…and Sho didn't want to make it worse…even though dad was there and he was just…sitting and looking like a jerk…and stuff…
"Dad-" said big sis
"Yeah, well, you're being a jerk." Said Sho. He had meant to keep that one in his head but sometimes stuff just came out…like now. He knew that maybe this was like the time that he and Shimazaki had tried to see what would microwave and they accidentally left the tinfoil on some leftovers….and stuff….and he felt bad for big sis but…but dad really had it coming! That and a whole lot of other stuff too!
"Sho-" said big sis
"Why you insolent little-" said dad. He had both hands on the table and it looked like he was going to stand up and hit him….but then he stopped…and his aura moved but hit a…barrier? Not Sho's, no, big sis's barrier. She was stopping dad from hitting him….and she was stopping him from even so much as standing up…
He…had no idea that she could do that…be strong enough to stop dad…and stuff….
"Stop it! No more fighting! I don't mean to be mean but if you two can't stop fighting then…then you guys are going to have to eat in separate rooms….ok? Or at separate times…or something…..I don't know….just stop it! My stomach hurts and…and other stuff…and neither of you need to pick me up or feed me! Alright?" said big sis. The kitchen shook, the paper towels came off of their roll, and dad was glaring at him…but it didn't matter. So long as big sis was there then Sho was safe. She was strong enough to stop dad. She was strong enough to make him sit down and she was strong enough to stop dad from using his powers to hurt Sho…
She was strong enough to keep him safe.
"Understood…and I think that I'll take my dinner in my bedroom since your brother won't stop acting like a child…and he won't stop kicking me either." Said dad. Now that was just a lie! If Sho had been kicking him then….then he would have been rolling around on the ground in pain…or something!
"You're lying. I'm not kicking you. You'd be able to tell if I was kicking you." Said Sho. He wanted to kick dad now…and maybe he could. Big sis was there and she knew how to stop dad from hurting him, she was strong enough to stop him, and she would have been mad at him for fighting with dad but…well he had been asking for it for years and Sho wasn't a little kid anymore. He was almost eleven and it was time that dad started to stop being such a jerk to him. Like Shimazaki had said, if he wanted his dad's respect he would have to either earn it or wait for dad to die. One of the two.
"I swear to God that if you don't…stop…kicking….me…." said dad. He stopped talking and then just….stared at something under the table. He didn't look up. Not when big sis asked him what was wrong and not even when his phone vibrated.
Then the table hit the ceiling.
Big sis put a barrier around them and….and maybe he had pushed dad too far. The table had hit the ceiling and now he'd tossed it into the wall…and there was food everywhere…and the pot from the stove wall all over the wall…and the fridge tipped over…and dad was…he had never heard dad scream before. He had heard dad yell, and shout, and raise his voice…but he had never heard dad scream before…
And if Sho had been less scared he would have laughed since dad screamed like a girl…but he didn't really think that he could laugh now.
"Snake! Snake in the house!" shouted dad. He kicked his leg and...and there was Needs-A-Name! Sho caught him with his powers and held him close. Or her. He didn't want to invade their privacy by looking, he knew that he would have been embarrassed if people just stared at his junk like that, and also he wasn't really sure where to look when it came to snakes….but it didn't matter what Needs-A-Name was. They were his snake and he loved them and they must have been so scared…because Sho knew that he was scared…
He was kind of really scared.
"Dad, go somewhere else right now." Said big sis. She stood up….and he was still sitting down…and she was as tall as he was now…and she looked like…well not like mom, she never talked to dad like that even when he was punishing him, she looked more like…Minegishi if anything. She had her hands on her hips and her aura was all…mean…and she still had a barrier up…even though she was super upset she was still protecting him…and that was just….so nice of her…even if she was being kind of scary now too…
"Shigeko, there is a snake in the-" said dad. He pointed at needs a name and big sis's barrier rippled. It rippled but it didn't break. She was holding it up even though dad was so strong….he was the strongest esper in the world…and Sho knew firsthand how strong he was…but she was still holding up her barrier like it was nothing.
"I know, dad, I can see the snake and I'm going to deal with it like I deal with everything else around here. You're upset and I know how you get when you're upset so I think that it would be better if you had dinner with one of your friends…and maybe had a sleepover too." Said big sis. She was kicking dad out of the house…well she was trying to at least…and Sho knew that dad wouldn't be happy about that…and if he tried to hit her then Sho would do everything he could to stop him. There was no reason for the both of them to end up getting hit…not that he hit her anymore…but this was dad. He solved all of his problems by either hitting people, threatening to hit people, or having other people hit people…and if he thought that Sho was just going to sit there and let dad hit big sis then he had another thing coming.
"But-" said dad. He said that like he was going to argue…argue and not just tell big sis to shut up and never order him around like that ever again…and that just…made no sense at all…but he wasn't going to question it. If he did then he might end up jinxing it and…and this was not the thing to jinx.
"No buts. I have a lot to clean up. When you come home tomorrow the snakes will be gone and the house will be clean but right now I need you to be somewhere else, ok?" said big sis. She and dad looked at each other. Dad stood up and over her….and she didn't even move. She didn't even flinch. She just kept on looking up at him…well she knew that he would never hurt her. He didn't have his 'I'm going to mess you up' aura. No, he just seemed pissed off and….and Sho didn't even know what. Big sis was looking at dad and…and she was using her powers to…oh. Dad's phone.
Wow. These cases really were life proof.
"I…will spend the night with Fukuda…well I will when he returns and…and then tomorrow….please remove all the snakes from the house. Thank you. Goodnight." Said dad. He said that and then he just left and….and big sis had actually kicked dad out of the house and that was just….
"Big sis…you're really fucking awesome right now." Said Sho. He knew that she didn't like it when he cursed but he couldn't help it. She really was really fucking awesome right now. The most awesome big sister that a guy like him could ever have asked for. She just kicked dad out like it was nothing…she was strong enough to do that…and dad respected her as a man…well as a girl….and she hadn't even had to stab him in the stomach or anything.
Sho felt….he decided to feel good about this and not think about how no matter how much bigger and stronger he got he would never be as good as her.
She had been born right and he had been born wrong. That had been the truth of their…well of them…for as long as he could remember. She had always been the good one, the powerful one, the one that had come out of mom the normal way. He had been the one that dad would never forgive for being cut out of mom. He had been the one who had been born wrong from the start. He was the less powerful one. He was the one that dad hated. He was the one that dad would probably have put in the ground a long time ago if he had been born a girl and…and he could have been mad at big sis for being the one that dad liked the best…
Or he could have been grateful to her for keeping him safe…he decided to go with option two.
"Thank you….but I'm not happy. Sho…I told you to leave those snakes alone and now the house is full of wild snakes-" said big sis. Sho shook his head. First of all the snakes, most of them, were still in their home in the closet and second of all these snakes were not wild. They were his friends. Sure that hissed all the time and bit all the time…and they didn't much like being picked up and held and loved…but they weren't wild. Besides, they had been born in the closet and the closet was not the wilds so there.
"Needs-A-Name is the only one who got out…well Slippy sometimes disappears but he…or she…always comes back. Snakes are really loyal like that." Said Sho. He held out his arm and Needs-A-Name wrapped around him…and also tried to bite through his sleeve. He used his powers to keep Needs-A-Name's head away from him. Getting bitten right now would not have made big sis any more likely to let him keep those snakes.
"Sho…I really wish that you hadn't named them…because now it's going to be harder to say goodbye…and you do have to say goodbye. Those snakes are wild animals and I'm sure that you love them-" said big sis
"I do! I love them and I've been taking good care of them! I've been feeding them live bugs every single day and I've been running a heater in our closet so they don't get cold and I brought a bunch of dirt inside and-" said Sho. He needed to tell her that he had done his best and his best was good enough and that he was good enough and that he could take care of the snakes…and maybe if he said it all then she would think that he was good at taking care of the snakes and then…and then she would let him keep them and…and they wouldn't have to go. He didn't know if he could just…let something else….someone else…that he loved just…go…like that. It had been so hard before and…and stuff…
"Sho….I love you a lot and I'm glad that you've been taking care of your snake friends but you know the rule. Dad hates pets and…and I'm not happy that you brought these snakes into the house when I asked you not to, too, and just…please let the snakes go while I clean this kitchen up. Alright?" asked big sis. Sho looked down at Needs-A-Name. He hadn't even gotten the chance to name him…or her…and the others had just shed their first skins only and…and he had no idea if they would be ok out there and…and he knew, from the book mom had read, that you couldn't forsake the journey for the safety of your room….but the journey sucked because it was unsafe and these snakes were only babies. They were like his babies and…and he couldn't just send his babies out into the world like that….
"Big sis….maybe we can just tell dad that we set them free but in reality we got them a real tank with a lock and-" said Sho. This could work. She had kept the secret about him being in love with Shimazaki from dad, and that was his biggest secret, so she could be trusted to keep the snake secret from dad too. She could be trusted not tell him and…and then they could get some real snake tanks and snake food and snake toys and the snakes could be so happy and…and they could take care of the snakes together just like they had taken care of baby sis together….and it would be just like those times and…and she'd come around. She had to. She was big sis.
"Sho….no. Those are wild animals and they belong in the wild. Bringing them into the house is like…like when dad took us out of the Castle…and how we never went back. You remember that…right?" asked big sis. That was a dumb question. Of course he remembered the last time he had ever seen his home. That was…he had thought that they would be coming back…but they never did…and he had no idea if they even still had that house. He didn't know. All he knew was that it had hurt so much….but the snakes had been born in his closet and…and his closet was really little and….
And if they stayed in the house then they would have to stay with dad.
They wouldn't be safe with dad. That was why…why they had to go to a better place. Just like baby sis had to. Baby sis wouldn't have been safe here, with dad, and that was why Fukuda had found her a new mom to take care of her and stuff. Sure big sis could protect them but she couldn't be there every second of every day…and dad was such a jerk and…and big sis loved him but…but sometimes you had to make pragmatic choices….and this was a very pragmatic choice….
But if he could let baby sis go then he could let the baby snakes go.
"Alright…but let me say goodbye first." Said Sho. He had to let them go so that they could be happy. In way they were lucky. They got to go even though they were still just a bunch of little babies…or maybe they were kids now. He didn't know. All he knew was that they would be happier living outside than with his family. They would be happier anywhere than with his family…with his dad. They got to leave…they were so lucky…Sho had to stay. Sho had to stay until he was an adult…but it wasn't all bad.
At least he had his big sis there to keep him safe.