FarCry
Part Two
ºflashbacksº
Those weeks became months and eventually a year passed and it became obvious to them all that the Titans were breaking down. The results of all Celine's tests on the soils were inconclusive and with no more activity being linked to Slade's Syndicate, they had nothing more to go on.
Robin walked slowly through Titans' tower. The feeling of life was slowly being restored. Beast Boy kept his chin high enough that it wasn't actually touching his chest and for the time being that was good enough. Aqualad had helped Blackfire find some sense of calm and Robin swore, if only for a moment, that Starfire's eyes were bright, like when he had first met her, when they had first became a team.
Robin's slow walk brought him to a destination that he found himself spending more time in than many others. He entered the dimly lit room, feeling the door slide closed, just as he heard it. Robin's masked eyes took in the sight of it and frowned, he hadn't realized he'd left the table overturned. Robin walked over to the table and righted it.
Robin had only recently finished restoring Raven's room. After Celine and Sakura's, Raven's room had been the most damaged. The cleanliness of the carnage had told Robin that this was a specific target and from the thoroughness of the destruction, Robin knew that the bomb planters were trying to erase every trace of Raven from the Titans' memories.
They can't take something so powerful as the bond she has to the Titans…Robin thought, his masked eyes trailing the room. The dark colors were highlighted with the light scattering in from the window. He could step into the sunlight and feel warm like he did when she was around him. They can't erase something so strong as how I feel about you… I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life looking for you Raven, I will find you and when I do, I will never let you go. I'll keep you safe…
Robin sat down on the edge of Raven's bed, his body remembering the last time she had been in that room, the last time they had slept with their heartbeats pushed together. Robin touched his chest gently, feeling the slow throb rack his core. It had shocked him once; when he had rescued Raven that night she had brought fear itself to the tower, that their heartbeats matched measure for measure. When she was excited, he often was too, when he was peaceful, it generally extended to her…
Despite my worry, my heart has been calm… does that mean you're okay?
He didn't know what drew his attention to the ground, but his eyes wandered downward and found something trapped beneath his foot. Robin shifted his boot and retrieved the slightly singed object. Its fur was tattered and smelled like smoke.
Raven's bunny… Robin's fingers traced over the wonderful thing, his face tightened when he realized an ear was missing. He looked around near the skirts of Raven's bed. He bent over slightly to extend his reach underneath the bed and found the torn off appendage. He held the severed fluff to the rest of the bunny.
It's not so bad. I can fix it.
The marble eyes couldn't shine with the dirt of time caked across the polished beads. Robin scrubbed them for a moment with his gloved thumb, some sense of sparkle returned. The fragile toy reminded him of Raven, in more ways than one and as the seasons were starting their change again, memories flooded to him.
Robin used to love September. September was the month when everything that changed was something new and promising. It was when the leaves became orange and red, when the wind picked scents and tossed them across the water. It was when school started for the students of Central Jump Elementary School and when one lucky homeroom class got to meet the Titans.
It was something the Titans had been doing since Starfire became their fifth. They had routinely rescued a busload of second and third graders from the thrash and wail of Cardiac.¹ Starfire's strength had saved the bus from tipping and Beast Boy's hammering ape form had sent Cardiac running home to the mechanical villain's equivalent of a mommy.
ºIt was when the naïve Tameranian lowered the bus that the team realized that they weren't screaming in fear, the kids were cheering. In an excited mob, they poured from the bus and surrounded the five superheroes like a sticky fingered plague. Robin nearly lost his utility belt twice and some children were in the risk of being flown home, against their will, if one more person tugged on Raven's cloak.
Beast Boy basked in their attention, morphing and telling jokes as fast as he could. Starfire was still getting used to Earth terminology, but she could tell from the drool and adoring stares that 'hot' and 'cool', though thermometrically different, were still very good.
It had been Cyborg's yell that had calmed the riot. Two boys had managed to climb onto his shoulders and one thought it was a good idea to knock on the cybernetic teen's skull… apparently it wasn't.
The kids were barely fazed by Cyborg's command to knock it off. They all circled around the Titans and to Raven, the ring of eight and nine years olds was the most threatening thing she had faced in a long time.
"Look guys, we really appreciate your enthusiasm, but please calm down; we're just doing our jobs." Raven had said simply.
A brown haired boy spoke up. "But you're so cool!"
"Yeah!" Another boy added. "Your powers are so awesome!"
"This is the first time we've seen the Teen Titans up close before! We're so lucky!"
"We want to see what you can do!"
"Yeah! Yeah!"
"Won't you show us?"
"Please! You can come to our class!"
And they did. The second grade homeroom had been amazed by the sheer diversity of the Teen Titans. The cool technology Cyborg possessed, the awesome toys that Robin had, every one of Beast Boy's transformation, and it was a little unclear if the fan boys were in awe of Starfire's strength or her out and out beauty. Before the hour past, their eyes turned from the four Titans who were showing off, to the one that wasn't.
"Miss Raven? What can you do?" A boy with blond hair and brown eyes asked. All the children stopped their play and the Titans hid knowing smiles. Raven pulled their attention to the front of the room, bending down just slightly to give all the sitting children her eye contact.
"Me… I can do a lot of things…"
"Like what?" The curious child, that Titans had anticipated there being at least one of, gave Raven her lead in.
"I can listen… I can use my head to think things through. I can use my heart to feel happiness and sadness and responsibility."
"But I can do that!" A brunet girl piped up.
"Yes, you can." Raven replied with a soft smile. "We're all super, for some of us it's because we develop special powers, but all of us have one thing in common. We have hearts and minds to do good things. When we all work together---" The Titans stepped closer into a tight group around the purple eyed mystic. "We're stronger than anything else in the world. We can move mountains and stop bad things."
"I can move mountains?" A little girl looked down at her hands.
"And even bigger things," Robin continued. He had gently laid his hand on Raven's shoulder as he stepped forward. Raven relinquished the spotlight. "I wasn't born with super powers like my friends were, but I'm just as super as they are, because I use my mind and my heart to help people; whether it's someone we know and care about, or just someone else who needs our help."
Starfire stepped forward, taking her place by Robin's side. "We can all do our part to make the planet Earth a friendly place. There are many wondrous things about all of us--"
Cyborg moved to the side, all the children's attention was shifted to him. "And it doesn't take much to show it. Just showing that you care is enough."
Beast Boy dropped his arm over Cyborg's. He had to stand on the teacher's desk to do it, but he did it. "The best way to show you're a superhero is just to be a good friend: just like the Titans are to each other."
Robin nodded. "Right. We're a great team because we're great friends."²
Raven shifted her hips. "That and we kick bad guy butt."
The children erupted in excitement. The children crowded and cheered and picked their favorite Titans. The young scientists picked Cyborg, the animal lovers hovered around Beast Boy, and the boys after pretty faces stayed near Starfire. Robin and Raven had small crowds, the quite girls and boys stayed with the pale skinned magic user and over his infinitely more rambunctious crowd of boys who wanted cool masks and weapons; Robin could see Raven talking with the children, showing them tiny portions of her power.
The day before, Raven had worried that showing her powers would frighten rather than excite the children, so she had at first opted not to go. But Robin had insisted: they were a team of five, not four. So Raven had thought of a way that she could be a part of that team of five without risking harm should her emotions flair up. But Robin could see that the quiet Titan was comfortable in the eyes of equally quiet little boys and girls. It was when he saw Raven give a genuine smile that he decided that the Titans would be coming back to Central Jump Elementary School every year, if only to get the girl to smile.
It was a commitment they had kept and that year was the first time they had gone without Raven. The children seemed to be aware of the new team that the Titans brought forth. Most of them were old enough to remember hearing about the Titans doing this or saving that when they were in kindergarten and had waited in anticipation for two years to get to see them.
Cyborg realized that the children immediately noticed the shift in players. New faces weren't so uncommon a change in any group: sometimes things changed. But from the look of most of the children, as great of cast members as Aqualad and Bumble Bee were, the children were not as excited as they would have been if the Titans dream team had been present and accounted for.
The kids felt the same way the Titans did. But children were children and their curiosity held them for most of the hours that the Titans were in their sights. The children still laughed in delight at Beast Boy's transformation, Starfire's smile and Robin's arsenal. When the minutes remaining were less than ten, the Titans realized that they hadn't prepared a wind down, because that responsibility had always fallen on one Titan. The one Titan that was unaccounted for.
The room had all but calmed down when a blonde girl with huge blue eyes piped up and asked the question on everyone's mind. "Where's Miss Raven?"
Robin felt as if someone had kicked him in the stomach. The rest of the Titans flinched internally. Starfire bit her lip. When Cyborg and the others couldn't think of anything to say, Beast Boy would tell them a lie.
"She's sick."
The children frowned collectively. "Superheroes get sick?"
Cyborg nodded and knelt down so he was only looking down at them from a few inches, rather than the few feet he had over them when he stood. "We're just like everyone else; we feel hurt, we feel scared and sometimes we feel bad."
"Even superheroes need help… that's why there are so many of us." Aqualad's smile captured every single young heart in the room, including the teacher's.
Starfire made to continue. "That is why friends are so important."
They almost fell into an old routine, but everyone didn't know the lines. Robin almost wanted an attack on the city to grant them reprieve from the wandering eyes and knowing glances of thirty pairs of eight year old eyes. Instead, the teacher called 'Titans Time' over and the children began to fill out of the classroom.
Titans… time is over… Does she even know how close she is to the truth with that simple statement? The truth was it was hard to feel like a team, when they couldn't do the thing they had promised each other so many years ago: to look out for each other. Robin squeezed his eyes shut and might have kept them that way for longer, if there wasn't a tapping on his arm.
It was the blonde girl, who had asked about Raven. The girl's blue eyes were obviously worried. The pitch in her young voice only made it audible.
"Is Miss Raven really okay?" She asked.
Robin nodded. In her face he could see that she didn't entirely believe him. He could almost see the conflict: that she didn't believe him but had no real reason not to trust what he said. Robin patted the girl's head. Her smile was tight and half committed, but it appeared to the Titans' leader that for now his answer satisfied her.
"I hope she feels better."
"Is she your favorite?" Robin asked simply.
The blonde girl nodded. Robin's hand dropped to her shoulder, the gloved appendage gave her a slight squeeze.
"Mine too. I'll let her know you're thinking about her… what's your name?"
"Ellie Parker³… can you ask her something for me?"
Robin nodded.
"Ask her if she kept it close to her heart like she promised."
Robin frowned. "Kept what?"
"I gave her a green monkey two years ago when we met at a carnival in Steel City… she promised she would keep it close to her heart. I hope she did, because I kept her in mine." The girl heard the warning call of her teacher and ran to keep up with her class. With one toss of her head, she turned back to the Boy Wonder. "I'll send her a get well card! Bye Robin!"
Robin had nearly collapsed at the spot.º
It had happened less than three days ago, but already the letter came from Ellie in the mail. Robin had thought to open it, but instead had left in on Raven's desk to be the first thing that welcomed her home, after Robin's kiss.
Robin could remember every single moment where Raven was beautiful: when her eyes were bright, when her hand fell into his. Every memory of her brought a trace of doubt, but then surged with hope.
I'm not helpless; we'll find a way to get you back to me Raven.
…
Only one person had ever accused Robin of being helpless and it was Speedy.
One year had become two and no amount of normalcy could relieve the masked fighters. Every trace of sabotage had been removed from the tower. Except one. Robin was preparing to storm out of the room with Speedy's angry glare following behind him and Celine's broken heart to haunt him.
Life had continued. Just because the Titans were fractured, the crime in Jump City did not stop. Johnny Rancid, Dr. Light, and Cardiac still moved through the city and the Titans still made sure they got what was coming to them. Life consisted of worry and routine and more routine for the maturing members of the former Teen Titans.
Robin held his bo-staff parallel to the ground. To his right Beast Boy was pulling himself off the ground and in the air Star and Foxfire were ready to go. Cyborg's beam cannon was trained on their enemy; the ever illuminated Dr. Light.
It wasn't noon yet when the villain had made his hand at a bank in Steel City. The light obsessed anti-hero seemed pleased with himself and the sack full of money he had stolen. He also seemed pleased that his dark rival wasn't in his opposition.
Dr. Light flexed his light whip. "Where's Raven? This is the third bank I've robbed in a month and still she hasn't shown up. What's it going to take to get her attention?"
Robin sneered. Cyborg's lip curled and the beam cannon charged. "Raven's got better things to do than waste her time with you!" The beam shot and Dr. Light leapt to the side to avoid it. He rolled awkwardly but was on his feet in seconds.
"I think she's afraid of the light!"
"You don't know anything about her!" Robin yelled.
"I do know dark always trembles before light! In darkness the weak always hide, but the power of light will remove all traces of shadow from the world! And where will Raven be then?"
Robin struck. Dr. Light had no means to defend against a heart-stricken Boy Wonder. No one did. The other Titans could only watch as Robin spun out with devastating kicks, punches and throws. Such heated attacks were usually saved for the likes of Slade and his minions, but Dr. Light was providing a valuable outsource for release. Light screamed for mercy as Robin pummeled the villain, but Robin didn't stop. Before the bum rush was over, but long after Dr. Light was out of the fight, the other Titans interfered. Fox and Starfire flew in, D'ucel pulled Dr. Light from Robin's attacks and Starfire pulled Robin away from his fury.
Robin's arm trembled in Starfire's grasp and had the girl not had the strength of fifty men, she might have struggled to hold him back. But Robin couldn't be held captive against his will, not by Starfire at least. The other Titans watched with disbelief when Robin pulled himself free from her and pushed her away. The red head stumbled, her feet tripping over themselves and she dropped to her bottom on the street.
Her green eyes turned up to him with disbelief, as a half dozen pair of unbelieving eyes did the same. Robin's breathing slowed, his chest expanding then contracting as his heart beat calmed and the adrenaline poured out of him. Starfire could see from his expression that he realized what he had done in his anger. The gentle alien pulled herself up without his assistance.
No one could think of what to say as the Titans' leader turned his head in shame. His brow was narrowed but only Starfire was close enough to see that brow tremble. It had been two years, two years since the Titans had last seen Raven; last heard her speak, last heard her breathe. Everyday was shaking Robin; the growing Titan was feeling less and less like himself.
"I'm sorry." Robin finally said. The other Titans had kept their distance, but Starfire could hear him loud and clear. The green eyed Tameranian was the first of the Titans to start physically changing. Though Beast Boy was getting unquestionably taller and the length of Robin's hair was defying his gel, Starfire was becoming a woman. Her growth had entitled her to many things: fuller hair, thinner cheeks and eyes that weren't bright with naivety, but bright with intelligence.
The beautiful alien princess nodded her head, her thick locks bouncing gently with the motion. "We are all greatly concerned," Starfire began, keeping Robin from giving an explanation. It wasn't necessary; they all knew what was bothering him. "Your actions… I understand."
Robin frowned and said nothing. The green eyed woman in front of him said nothing more. He watched her for a moment, as she took to the sky to help Foxfire deliver Dr. Light to the police. When she was younger, she would have waited for him to say something, anything, to prove to herself that it would be alright. But the dynamics of the Titans had changed a lot since they were kids. They had grown up and changed, it had happened so fast that Robin couldn't grab it, hadn't wanted to grab because that growing up had come with his growing feelings for Raven.
She says she understands, Robin thought as he pushed some hair from his forehead. I wonder if she does… Starfire's friendship was genuine, but she lacked the capacity to understand what Robin felt because she didn't know desperation. Not to the degree he felt.
Robin boarded the R-cycle and began the stiff ride home. It seemed as if Thunder had been hammering the sky without Lightning lately. For days Jump City was held in shadow. The shift in mood hadn't been lost on any of the Titans.
…
Most of the Titans were gathered in the common room. Speedy, Celine, Robin and obviously Sakura had remained in the medic room. Cyborg sat cautiously with his back pressed against the seat cushion. Blackfire had opted to stand, as Aqualad hunched forward with his chin tucked into his braided hands.
After Robin's incident that afternoon, the rain had started falling and it beat down on the windows behind them like an eerie background music. Two years had passed, nearly to the day, and the Titans were no less in the dark about what was happening than they had been when only a single day had gone by.
Nothing about what was happening versus what they knew made sense. While Jump City and sometimes as far as Bludhaven were littered with villains that the Titans had to stop, none of the big bads were making a move. Not Blood, not Slade, not Terra, not Washu: it was if they were all waiting together to make the Titans wait. They must have concluded that the impatience of their youth would weigh them down and make them vulnerable. For the last two years that couldn't have been more right… but the Slade Syndicate wasn't making a single action to capitalize on that advantage.
In the circle of heroes, the world just wasn't making any sense.
"He's had her for two years… he's had us on the ropes for just as long… Why isn't Slade and his Syndicate moving?" Aqualad asked.
"Any action that they would make would be beneficial to us." Starfire posited.
"We know that the Syndicate is smart. They didn't go into this half-cocked." Cyborg replied.
"They made an action." Bumble Bee said. "They gave us back Sakura for a reason."
Starfire shook her head. "I am not so sure. Perhaps it was just as it seemed: Terra was delivering a message."
"No," Cyborg said. "It's more than that. These guys are better at being bad than we are at being good and they wanted us to know it. They know how we think and they used it. The Syndicate wanted to give us a run around. They probably knew we'd try a soil test if Terra delivered her… and every single test Celine's run has come back with nothing."
"But, they thought that Celine was destroyed with the tower." Beast Boy interjected.
"But they knew I wasn't… it was mostly a trap for me…"
"Celine's the variable they can't account for."
Cyborg's frown deepened. "But for the progress she's making, it doesn't seem to matter."
For the last two years Celine's tests had been inadequate at best. The beautiful genius had done everything in her power to understand what was going on, but it appeared for the first time in her life, she was in a situation with a problem and she was outmatched.
The trio of Titans were spread out in the medic room, where they had been almost everyday for at least half the day for the last two years. Robin's head was bowed and Speedy's eyes squeezed tight when the diagnostic reading spun from Celine's device. Her brown eyes scanned over it, while Robin's eyes scanned over her, waiting for her word. The red haired genius pulled her scouter from her eye. Speedy turned to see her shake her head in the negative. Both of her experiments had failed again.
It hadn't taken long before they realized that Sakura's sleep wasn't like Robin's. Her life force was strong. There was no comparison between her natural state and the unnatural state of suspended animation that she was in, but compared to how Robin had laid, it simply wasn't the same situation. Sakura's Holy beat through her like a river: in a slow beat, but steady. Celine assumed that her abilities had saved her life… that her pure energy had made her resilient to Terra… but it also made her resilient to Science.
Speedy's head dropped to the bar standing along Sakura's bed side. They could see the anguish creeping along his features; his masked eyes were just as expressive as the trembling of his mouth. His teeth were bared and he looked as if were an inch away from yelling. But he didn't yell, he'd tried it before but no amount of noise was going to wake his girlfriend up.
Robin could see the defeat slithering up Speedy's body. The archer was within a hair's breadth of self-destructing; his grip was always tight on something, his heartbeat was constantly uneven and the only reason he ever left Sakura's side was when the Green Lantern demanded it of him.
Robin looked at his friend, one of his best friends, the only man he trusted with his sister's heart and tried not to collapse himself. Uncertainty had always been a crippling feeling, no person thieved under it, it lacked the potential of hope: and with Speedy a constant victim to uncertainty, the potential for hope was lacking.
Robin stood and thought and came up empty handed. He was caught in worry constantly. Every day he saw his sister and all the he could think to relieve himself of anxiety was at least she wasn't in the hands of the Slade Syndicate. He had the calm of his own heartbeat, to let him hope that she was safe somehow, but Speedy had no such calm.
The agile archer rubbed a hand through his hair. His eyes fell from his hands to Sakura's hands then up to Celine. "Do you have any other tests?" Speedy asked.
"Not yet, but I'm collecting sources." Celine replied, trying to formulate new ideas in seconds.
"What about the soils tests?" Robin asked.
Celine shook her head in the negative. "All I can say is that it's not earth borne. The soil science world is limited to earth and from the little that we know we're dealing with… this soil could be from anywhere."
"Dead end then?"
"For now." Celine replied.
Speedy's finger drummed the guard rail as he pressed his forehead into the cool metal. For two years it had been dead ends. Every time Celine configured a new design, Sakura's state conquered it. All her biological readouts read healthy… so why can't she wake up?
Speedy knew it was a can't. If she had the power to, she would have been up and able to tell them what had happened, where to find Raven, and that she loved him. But she didn't have the power to. For two years and seven months he hadn't heard Sakura's voice; not sense her voice pierced the last seconds of his consciousness when she chased after the Syndicate and met this tragic fate. Speedy wasn't sure he cared why or how she had been put in that state, he didn't think his heart could take the details of what had happened, all he cared about was what it would take to get her up and back into his arms: where she used to be, where he wanted her, where she belonged.
People who thought they knew anything about Speedy were generally mistaken. Of all the Titans, he was truly the one who was known least well by the others. They saw him as proud, handsome, clever and skilled, but none of them knew he was fragile, desperate and in a constant state of worry. It was further back in his history than the last few years that forced Speedy to adopt such a well put together persona just so he could function. He had demons to overcompensate for, just like Sakura: and though their mutual knowledge of those demons was slight, she had been the only person besides his mentor to ever be let into the fact that there was a tragic side of his life. Even Aqualad didn't know what Speedy wished for and what he feared and Aqualad was Speedy's best friend.
The best friend who has Blackfire to turn to when he's unsure… I turned to Sakura and she'd stay with me, in my arms and we'd go in our hearts someplace where our pasts didn't scar us…
Speedy and Sakura had been the kind of kids that liked rain. On days where the weather was souring the moods of all the other lovers, Speedy and Sakura would take themselves outside and do whatever made them feel alright. Sometimes they just sat and let the rain hit them, other times they fought each other. Speedy could remember the last time they fought in the rain. They had locked their weapons, but with a turn of his wrists, Speedy threw them both away leaving the pair to wrestle for dominance with their bare hands. He could see the way the rain dripped into her face, highlighting every fragment that made her beautiful. He didn't know if he had let her win from his staring or if she was going to win that round because she was better, but she did win; she tripped his legs from under him and the pair toppled to the ground. They were covered with wet sand, they were laughing and their bodies made sand angels like kids would do.
But we aren't kids. We weren't really kids when we met, but when we were together, we had that brilliance of childhood… our imaginations couldn't be tamed… we could forget all the shadows that damaged her body and damaged my mind. I had seen it once or twice, the permanent bruising on her back, but she had refused to tell me what it was. All she would say was that it was a permanent reminder, but she never told me what "itsumo tatsu" meant. It was something important to her, but something she needed to escape sometimes. I remember the way she trembled the first time my fingers touched the bruise and even though a tear was forming in her eyes as her face pressed into my shoulder, she was glad… together we could find that place where tragedy was distant and security couldn't escape.
Speedy's eyes clenched tighter. I can't find that place without you Sakura. Please get up so we can go somewhere only we know.
He hadn't realized until his eyes started to strain that Robin and Celine were talking behind him. His ears picked up when he heard his name and the word helpless.
"You called me helpless." Speedy said.
Robin's brow tightened. "No, I didn't… I said the situation was--"
"If anyone in this room is helpless, it's you." Speedy interrupted, taking his masked eyes from the wound in his heart. The archer had always had mature features, but with the last two years of time and worry, that maturity was biting now. He had the face of a man and the angry voice to match it.
"Speedy, calm down." Robin said, for a moment Speedy swore Robin's eyes turned to Sakura, as if the Boy Wonder was afraid their loud voices would disturb Sakura: as if her state was just a regenerating nap and not a stand still of consciousness lasting nearly three years.
"Don't tell me to calm down! How can I keep calm when my leader is turning his back on my girlfriend?"
"You know I'd never give up my sister, Speedy. You're out of line." Robin pointed a righteous finger at the agile archer.
"I'm not out of line! I'm scared, useless and hopeless!"
"Speedy don't say that! When everything else in the world is crumbling down, we've got to hold onto hope. We're all scared right now Speedy, now's the time to hold hope the tightest."
"How can I do that Robin? I love Sakura, as much as you love Raven… You're scared because you can't find her… Sakura's right here and I can't do anything for her!"
"Speedy, I'll figure something out… I'll run more tests… I'll do something!" Celine stuttered out, her fluster at her failures wasn't lost on anyone.
Speedy clenched his fingers. "But what am I supposed to do?" Speedy dropped into his seat, his forehead pressed into the knuckles of his hands. The guard rail was cold against his palm; it matched how he felt inside.
"Speedy," Robin said his voice was calmer than he knew he was capable of. He was angry at Speedy for what he had said, for all the things he implied, but right now he couldn't be an angry little brother or anxious boyfriend, he needed to be the Titans' leader. "We're in a position that the Titans have never faced before, but the last thing we can afford to do is to break apart anymore. Right now, at the very least we can say that Sakura is safe and as much as I hate it, for now it's got to be good enough. Celine may find something or the Syndicate may make a move. Whatever happens, the one thing we can't do is forget hope, because if we do that there's no victory, there's no chance for happy endings, there's no point in anything happening at all… Do you understand?"
Speedy tapped his finger then nodded yes.
"My sister has endured terrible things before, Speedy, and she's come back from it stronger than you'll know. No one knows the future, but I do know what you're supposed to do."
"And what's that?"
"You're supposed to be the first thing my sister sees when she wakes up."
"Robin what I said before… about you being helpless---" Speedy began, his masked eyes never leaving the face of his heart.
"You meant it and for you it may appear to the truth. I won't hold it against you, because of what you mean to my sister. But you're wrong Speedy. The last thing I'll ever be is helpless, because I have unconditional hope…"
When Robin walked away, Speedy swore he heard the rest of what Robin was thinking: I have unconditional hope… invest in it.
Robin generally didn't like lying, but it was necessary to prove a point. He wasn't going to let another member of his team fall victim to the ruthlessness of time. Time was the enemy of hope, as days linger dreams become more transparent and colorless, they lacked all the things that made you believe in them.
Robin still dreamt, but grays were shifting in where vivid purples and blues had once been. Every night he went to bed with prayers for something. Robin clenched the marred green monkey between his hands and thought about how easy the past was. We could just think about each other and send our thoughts across rooms. If we were touching I could feel the words formulating in her throat, to be lost in the air and trapped in my mind.
ºThe Titans had decided to do the one thing everyone always thought they did, and played Truth or Dare. The group had listened to Beast Boy's suggestion only after turning down his first two ideas: spin the bottle and strip poker. The boys had actually been in favor of the last one, but the girls were having no part of it.
They sat in something of a perfect circle, the ring was imbalanced by how close Terra was sitting to Raven and how far Starfire seemed to be sitting from everyone else. The game had begun nearly an hour ago and the ridiculousness of it had lasted the whole time. The call for Social allowed everyone to break the oath of truth and make up the most ridiculous lie they could come up with. It had been called once or twice to save some of the Titans from reviewing their pasts. It was apparent that D'ucel wasn't picking up on the game very quickly, something Beast Boy was exploiting mercilessly. More than once the call for Social had been used to rescue Fox from the "most annoying green one."
As the game wound down, so did Raven. The long haired mystic dropped her weight onto Robin, her cheek pressed against his chin. The Titans' leader didn't need to look at her to know her eyes were closed, he could feel her smiling gently against his neck.
Tired? Robin asked gently, his arm slipping beneath her cloak to stroke her arm.
No, content. The girl replied, pulling her own arm to circle Robin's lean waist.
I'm glad. Robin pressed his lips gently against her forehead.
They're staring at us.
How could you tell that? Your eyes are closed.
They're always staring at us. Raven replied; the voice was smooth in Robin's mind.
Jealousy?
We do have something wonderful. Raven sighed. A warm shudder ran up Robin's back, Raven's breath on his neck inspired the most wonderful sensations.
"Robin! Truth or Dare?"
"Truth." Robin wasn't willing to do anything that would move him from that spot.
"What's your deepest, darkest secret?" Terra asked.
Robin seemed to think for a few seconds, though Raven knew otherwise. Her fingers trailed up and down his side.
"Social." Robin said and the Titans, minus Raven groaned. Raven laughed gently, pulling herself closer to the Boy Wonder.
"I secretly like Tofu!" Cyborg threw out.
"My middle name is secretly Melvin." Speedy gave out.
"I secretly can't swim!" Aqualad added.
"I'm secretly Batman." Beast Boy gave up.
"I am possessing the secret of the love of operas of soap!" Foxfire tried.
"When I'm at my computers, I'm secretly playing Frogger." Celine added.
"I'm secretly not a blonde." Terra threw in.
"I possess the secret of being unable to perform the pushing ups." Star added.
"I secretly don't like training." Sakura kicked out.
"All the books in my library are secretly coloring books." Raven replied.
"I secretly think Beast Boy is cooler than me in every conceivable way." Blackfire gave.
"I'm not sure that one's a lie!" Beast Boy replied and the room giggled.
"We're waiting Boy Blunder." Cyborg said, turning everyone's attention back to the social caller.
Robin gave Raven a squeeze. "Secretly, in the middle of the night, for no particular reason, I slide down the hallway in socks and tightie-whities."⁴
Raven smirked. I'm starting to think that one is the truth.
I've got another ridiculous lie.
What? Raven asked.
There are a million different places I'd rather be than right here with you in my arms.
I've got a lie too.
What? Robin nuzzled her gently.
I could feel this good with anyone.
We shouldn't lie to each other. Robin responded, tracing her cheek with the back of his fingers. There's nowhere I'd rather be.
You're the one for me.
Another cry for social couldn't draw Robin and Raven from each other. Raven fell asleep against Robin and he blocked out the rest of the world. He could almost feel her dreams tumbling through her mind. Like her, everything about that moment, was beautiful.º
I would take a lie if it were just to hear your voice. Robin laid back on the bed, his arm falling onto his forehead. Raven… please, if there's any hope you're okay, show me…
Robin's vision blurred, because despite what he told Speedy, there were limits to his hope. If Raven were okay, she wouldn't be able to send him a message: though the powers of her mind were immense, his own were relatively minimal, they could only communicate through short distances
I'll find a way Raven, to close the distance between you and me…
…
Beast Boy walked into the common room at two AM and found Celine hunched over her console, typing with one hand, the other hand propped up her forehead. The pretty genius looked exhausted; her fingers were hunting and pecking at the keys. From the sad look on her face, illuminated by the dull glow of her monitor, she was getting nowhere.
Beast Boy didn't understand half the things Celine had been doing for the last three years, and honestly, he didn't understand a lot of the things she had done before that. But he did know something, the stress of failure was finally hitting Celine: it was obvious from the girl's medals, achievements and education that her genius had never failed her before: nothing every took her longer than a few days to work out, but now something was taking her years and it hurt.
Celine turned to look over her shoulder when Beast Boy's steps stopped.
"Beast Boy, what are you doing up?" Celine asked. The red head turned in her chair and faced him. No one was surprised by Beast Boy's stunning physical change anymore, just like no one was stunned by Robin's or Starfire's. Beast Boy had taken a physical stature just below six feet. If he kept growing the way he was, he'd be taller than Celine by the end of the year. Like Robin, Beast Boy's face had become squarer and his hair wasn't short. The spiky locks had grown into razor cut tendrils that Cyborg had likened to Sonic the Hedgehog. He was filling out and becoming handsome and soon the term "boy" wouldn't fit him.
"I came to check on you."
"I'm fine." Celine replied.
"No you're not. You haven't been fine in a while."
"Its just stress Beast Boy… my tests aren't…" Celine worried her lip and wouldn't bring her brown eyes to meet his green ones. "It was a fool's hope to think it would be that easy."
Beast Boy put his hand on the older girl's shoulder. "But it's still hope."
Celine smiled gently, bringing her hand to rest over his. "You sound like Robin."
Beast Boy's huge eyes blinked twice. "Me? Sound like Robin? You must be tired… when did you last sleep?"
Celine turned back to her computer, letting her hand slip off of his and his hand slip of her shoulder. Her console was bright with data, the contrasting patterns beamed across her face. "Yesterday… but I need to do this… I can get by."
Beast Boy frowned. He moved to the back of Celine's computer and leaned over it. His folded arms laid out like a cradle for his chin. He's presence made her eyes wander up from her monitor to his face. "Just because we can doesn't mean we should. We can do a lot of things… like give up hope."
Celine had nothing to say. For the last few weeks she had been running on empty. Despite their best efforts, the Justice League and the Armed Guards Union were anxious to fully understand the breadth of the situation the Titans were facing. Seeing as the Titans didn't know, there wasn't much to tell them and much less that they were willing to tell. Celine had sent Bumble Bee back to the AGU-JL headquarters to ease their collective mind and for the moment it seemed to be satisfying them. But that meant that Bumble Bee was gone and that meant Celine was spending more and more time in the company of her computers.
Celine liked to think that she could turn to any of the Titans for anything she needed. But in the end, she knew that it was the other way around. She was the go-to-girl; she was the one with the science to make it happen: whether it was romance, technological advances in weaponry, design mechanics for the battle simulators or just dinner, Celine was the mother hen-watchful eye of the Titans. She was supposed to protect them, defend them, help them… and she was letting them down.
Celine was startled when Beast Boy pulled the scouter from over her eye. The brown eyed genius blinked twice, realizing she had been lost in thought. BB's eyes were soft with worry.
"Maybe you should just sleep all day tomorrow. It will refresh you and you can come at it with fresh eyes." Beast Boy suggested.
Celine rubbed her neck and decided to change the subject. "How's your mother?"
Beast Boy wasn't going to be baited. "She's worried about you."
Celine frowned. "Me?"
Beast Boy nodded. "Where do you think I get it from?"
Celine shut down her computer and allowed Beast Boy a simple smile before the lights flickered off. He walked her to her bedroom. After weeks of arguing he had convinced her that she should sleep in her bed, in her room just like she had before. He said something along the effects that the return to normalcy was what the Titans were after, the least she could do was that.
And in her normal way Celine went to bed and woke up three hours later then went back to work.
End of Part Two
¹ Technically Cardiac is spelled Kardiac, but I don't like it that way, so I'm going to keep spelling it Cardiac.
² Somehow I see the Titans giving that sort of speech to little kids.
³ Ellie Parker is the little girl Raven rescued from Chapter Three.
⁴ Remembersees Part One: the interrupted date. That was one of Raven's guesses.