Disclaimer: I don't own any O.C.-related - only the characters I may invent during the writing of the story - they're all FOX's property.. thanxx 2U, guys

Autor's note: Concerning the content This is my VERY FIRST fanfic to be posted, so please be gentle. Concerning the mistakes English is not my mother language, so please forgive me for all the mistakes I'm sure going to make, both in vocabulary and grammar PLUS so far, I don't have a beta (anyone interested? Anyone?)

Summary: Meanwhile, the former outsider has established himself - yet he'll always remain a stranger. Just when he learns that losing people doesn't depend on where you're from, he realizes that opening up to people you might then lose does somehow depend on it. Sometimes it takes a blast from the past to let someone come close.. or someone who drags you in.. -Set after "The Rainy Day Women" but before "The Blaze of Glory"- (OK, I suck at summaries but I'm willing to learn) ""Hope you enjoy"" ;o)

This time a little longer. Wait up, there's more to come (just keep feedbacking me..)

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"Hey buddy, where've you been? I've been waiting here like.. forever!" Seth complained when Ryan approached him. "Sorry", he answered, "I was.. I was on the beach. Lost track of time. So, you got everything you wanted?" Seth nodded enthusiastically, holding up a package and a plastic bag. "Yeah! Lucky for you I had something to distract myself."

At that very moment, Lester stuck his head out of the store, yelling: "Cohen! You forgot your coupon for the net lottery!" Quickly, Seth went over to him, took the piece of paper out of his hand and put it in the bag. "You're a little confused today, hm?" "Surprised 'bout it? Considering this?" He waved his precious package.

"Jeez, we should really head home so I can have a closer look at this in private", he sighed addressing Ryan, then chuckled. "I even bumped into some skinny guy when I stepped outta the shop. Almost knocked him off his feet." Ryan couldn't help but grin at Seth referring to somebody else as "skinny". "Hey man, don't look at me like that!" he growled as if he'd read Ryan's mind. "He WAS skinny! I almost thought it was a girl."

Ryan unconsciously stiffened when he heard these words. He turned to Seth who eyed him curiously. "What!" "You said.. a skinny guy? Who was somehow.. feminine?" "Listen, bro', I didn't pay exactly this much attention. Which was the reason for bumping into him in the first place, ya know? Why?" "Well, he didn't wear a checkered shirt and a black base-cap? By any chance?" Seth scratched the back of his head. "Uhm.. yeah.. maybe. Yep, I think so. Uhm.. again: Why?" Ryan just shook his head and was about to tell Seth to check his pockets when a light tap on his shoulders made him start. "Sorry?" He turned around and heard Seth call out behind him: "Hey! That's the guy! See?"

There she was. Again. Holding out her arm, something in her hand that was almost covered by the long sleeve of her shirt. "I just found this. I guess your friend has.. lost it."

Seth stepped forward and took the object from her. "Hey! My purse! Thanks, that's great." Still not meeting his gaze, she simply said: "Nevermind", tipped the peak of her cap, turned around and walked away.

"Can you believe this? I didn't even notice I dropped it. That was really.." Ryan cut him short: "Don't you think she deserves some reward for it?" "Uhm.. sure.. uhm..", Seth stammered but Ryan had already wheeled around and followed her.

"Hey, wait a sec", he stopped her with one hand on her shoulder. "My friend and I consider this worth a reward", he smiled when she turned to him, an untrusting and surprised expression on what was visible from her face. Ryan pulled out his purse, took the ten dollars out of it and she could see that he'd told her the truth about it earlier: Except for some coins there was now no money left in it.

"Maybe you should get a break for today", he suggested. "Why? Got some more friends around here?" Again this wry, cheeky smile – but he could sense the shyness and caution underneath it. She was still ready to run for the hills at any moment. So he just held out the note to her. "I know, it ain't much, but.." This time her smile seemed more genuine and actually a little more relaxed. "You know, you don't have to.. but you won't let me off the hook without it, right? So, uhm.. thanks. I think." She shoved the money into her pocket, nodded and turned away. "Take care", he called after her, and with a look over her shoulder she said: "You too."

When the two "brothers" came home, Seth immediately disappeared in his room to revel in his new possessions which included as well an internet-access to a special fan-site. He'd probably be off for the rest of the weekend. But Sandy and Kristen were more worried about Ryan. They knew that Lindsay's departure and it's circumstances had been pretty hard for Ryan who'd already had way too many experiences with losing people that were dear to him. They feared that the next time it would take him even more time and strength to let someone get through to him.

He'd gone to the poolhouse right after lunch, asserting he had something to take care of, to think about. He'd even skipped dinner and hadn't shown up, since, until 9:00 p.m.

Kirsten was sitting in a deck-chair on the patio, reading a book instead of documents for a change, when she heard a slight splash from the swimming-pool. She'd almost looked away again, but then discovered Ryan's head reappear on the side of the pool opposite the poolhouse. He'd dived through the basin. She didn't want to disturb him, so she kept on reading, just once in a while she looked up to watch him cross the pool at a steady pace, with strong, even strokes. Only once she went inside to put on a stole and to get a glass of red wine. Her husband decided to join her. After he'd motioned towards the pool with his chin what she'd responded with a shrug, he'd sat down beside her and they both relished the peaceful, quiet night.

About one and a half hours later, Ryan got out of the water, shaking his head like a dog. The Cohens put their books in their laps in a synchronized movement. "So, any webs or gills?" Sandy asked.

To his surprise, Ryan showed a warm smile while shaking his head no. He looked exhausted and seemed to shiver a little, bit on the whole he appeared more relaxed and leveled than they'd seen him ever before this whole thing with Lindsay and Caleb had started. They wondered what had caused this change of mood but doubted that Seth's success of the day was responsible. Both were even more surprised when Ryan cleared his throat and addressed Sandy: "Uhm, Sandy.. I've been thinking.. would it be okay for you if I joined you for surfing tomorrow? I think I could use some exercise."

Sandy's face lightened up like Seth's had when he'd received his prize. He closed his book with a clap and laughed. "Finally! You don't know howthrilled I am to get some company! And from what I just witnessed I won't have to be afraid that you drown. Even though.. you know.. the ocean – it's different from the pool. It's like a living creature. With a will of it's own." Ryan raised his hands in defense. "Whoa! Sorry, but can you please wait with this 'til tomorrow? I don't think I can process all this information right now, okay?" "Of course! Sure. Well then.. I'll wake you at six, maybe seven. It's the best time, you know?" Kirsten laughed. "Honestly Ryan: Thank you! He finally found a fellow-surfer within the family." "No problem", he leaned down to kiss her on the cheek – another surprise.

"Good night."

The Cohens watched him until he disappeared in the poolhouse, then exchanged a silent look with raised eyebrows.. followed by a gentle kiss.

Ryan dried himself and brushed his teeth, not minding to turn on the light, put on dry shorts and then cuddled up under his blankets, taking a deep breath when he closed his eyes. He knew that tonight he'd finally be able to get some real rest. During the afternoon he'd finished everything that was left of what he'd have to prepare for school and then he'd lain flat on his back without watching the time.

He'd thought about Lindsay. And Caleb. About the whole Chrismukkah-incident and the weeks that had followed. About Kirsten and how she'd faced all of this with so much bravery. He'd wished and still wished he could have done something to make it easier for those who meant so much to him, just likehe had always cared and felt responsible for family and friends. Well, who else would have done something, then? It drove him almost crazy when this timehe couldn't do something about it, when he had to watch, useless, helpless, even though he knew that in the past it had often been just an illusion when he'd denied his helplessness.

Then he'd thought about the people who'd left. Often to never come back. Some because they had to, some because they wanted to. Some to rid him out of their lives. Others who'd tried to make him leave. And some who'd made him want to leave.

At some point he'd come back to the thoughts he'd had this afternoon: About Seth and his childlike behavior. Much like his father when it came to surfing. Sandy even managed to kindle this spark of childlike enthusiasm in his wife's more serious eyes. Her serious, loving and caring eyes.

Right then the sight of the stranger girl's eyes had flashed across his mind.. It had felt like looking through a mirror at his former self. He'd realized that there was still a lot of this in him - he'd never get fully rid of it. But at the same time he was far away from it. He doubted that he'd ever get over it but it wouldn't always determine what he did or felt like it used to.

It had been kind of a "blast from the past", indeed, like it might have been for Sandy when he first met him in juvie, and it had shaken him more than he liked to admit.

Now, he almost felt guilty that this mild shock had pulled him out of the numbness he'd felt since the last person he'd allowed to really touch him, his feelings, had gone. He actually felt better. And he was really looking forward to his morning-surf with Sandy. One of the persons who in fact wished to stay in his life.

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Papermonster: Once again: thanks for the reviews! I've been reading FF for quite a while and never would've thought it's THIS great to receive'em.

> Lilrebelgirl: Wrote U something; Leentje: There's gonna be more of the "mysterious girl," be a little patient, ok?

Preview: Up next a little "Cohen-Quality-Time" before we dive further into action, but I'm tryin' to create this a little less "flat."

Just hang on, R&R, send your wishes, I'll see 'bout it. H+K