11. Guiding Light

"Zatanna" began Diana, raising her head. "What happened to Shayera?"

Zatanna was silent at Diana's question. She didn't know whether to tell her or wait for Bruce to tell himself. But knowing him, he wouldn't say anything about it. He seldom even mentioned Shayera's and the only person he talked to about her was his daughter. She had very few memories of her mother, just like Bruce had of his parents. He used to answer her every question and encouraged Shaye to be just like her mother and make her proud, just like Alfred had done with him so many years ago.

Taking a deep breath, she asked Diana. "What do you want to know Diana?"

"Everything"

"In that case" said Zatanna, getting up. "I need something to help me loosen up" with that she walked to the bar and poured herself a shot of whisky. She offered it to Diana who declined. "I drink this whenever I have to talk about the past," said Zatanna, sitting down on the couch and placing the glass and bottle in front of her. "It makes it easier to talk without breaking down."

It was then Diana realized that the happy front Zatanna put forth was a mask, which she used to hide the pain and bitterness caused by years of suffering and loss. She was no longer a lively young magician, but years of fighting had made her into a battle hardened veteran.

"Zatanna you don't have to talk if you don't want to" began Diana. "I'll get the information from the computer banks."

"To the computer banks" exclaimed Zatanna raising her glass in a mock toast. "They will give you the when, why, how and to whom it happened. But what they won't tell you is the 'real story' and the effects it had on the lives of the people involved."

Diana sat silently as Zatanna downed the bitter liquid, wincing as it hit her throat, burning a liquid fire trail as it flowed down through her chest, spreading throughout her body. She then poured herself another shot, but instead of consuming it, whirled it around, before setting the glass back down on the table.

"You remember the day league vote took place" she began. Diana merely nodded her head, unable to speak anything about that day.

"Well, after the vote, Batman left the watchtower. The watchtower 'he' built, 'he' paid for. He just left it. He didn't turn you guys away, which he could have, he left himself.' "Do you know why?" she asked again. When there was no answer from Diana, she spoke, answering her own question. "He said he wanted you people in a place where he could keep an eye on all of you." "That's what he said, but what he meant was, keep an eye on Superman and you."

Diana had gone silent, listening to Zatanna retell her story. She didn't want to interrupt, nor did she want to answer any questions Zatanna might put up.

"You know why he wanted to keep an eye on Superman and you?" came another question, followed by its own answer. "There are two reasons for that. The first one was a tactical one, one that Batman made. It was to keep tabs on the two most powerful 'hostile entities' on the planet. The second reason, well that had nothing to do with tactics and was made by Bruce. Not Bruce Wayne the billionaire, or even Bruce Wayne the man, but Bruce, the eight year old boy, hidden deep inside the scarred body and mind of a man. The same eight year old boy who was lost the night his parents were murdered right in front of his eyes, and who was found many years later, by a Amazonian princess. That princess took one look at him and all his shields and walls which he had so carefully built up over the years, just seemed to fall away and vanish."

"You know about him and me and the history we share" Zatanna stated. "I used to think I could be the 'one' for him. The one who brought light to his dark world. However, that was wishful thinking on my part, a dream which I had dreamt as a teenager when he came to my father to train and one which I refused to let go. Over the years, the dream faded away, but its essence was there. Right until the night he came to my changing room, a pig as his companion. A pig, towards which he showed more love and emotions than he had ever shown towards me or anyone else for that matter. That was the night when that dream finally ended."

"Light had entered his dark cave and he saw me, not as a lover, but as a friend. A friend who shared something special between them, a special bond, which we have to this day. The same princess, who had got through his defenses; was not the one who brought the light, but was the light herself."

Diana's heart was breaking over and over again, into a million pieces as the long buried memories resurfaced.

"But he couldn't bring himself to come to you. It was not because he didn't love you or feel anything towards you. It was because he felt a lot and that scared him. The only two people who had made him feel so deeply were taken from him and his eight-year-old self was afraid that the same fate would befall you. That is why he kept you at arms length, not letting you come closer nor walking away himself."

"But that day in the watchtower, he did walk away. Because that day you made a choice, against which he had no offense or solution. The grown man, the bat in him told him that you had chosen to the league because of your belief in the greater good; but the boy in him said that you had chosen the one man who was something he could never be – physically stronger and emotionally stable. You chose Superman, 'the god' over Batman 'the man'."

"I didn't" whispered Diana, trying to convince Zatanna.

"He knew you didn't, but as I said, for his entire gruff and unfeeling exterior, he was an eight year old boy. And that day he once again lost his light, plunging him into familiar and lonely darkness."

'Was' thought Diana, considering the past tense Zatanna had used.

"I still remember the night he came to me a second time. Once again, he was not alone. This time there was a 'winged' beauty with him. Both of them were exactly alike. Gruff, silent and speaking only what was needed." "They had other similarities too. Both were warriors. Both were trying to make up for something, which they blamed themselves for. In Bruce's case it was his parents death, while in Shayera's it was the Thanegarian invasion and her betrayal of the league." "And then there was the hurt and pain, which ran deep in both of them. They both had loved, deeply and passionately. And both had lost their loves."

'John' Diana knew that was who Zatanna was talking about. They had also broken the day of the vote, both making their choices and withdrawing to different sides. John had chosen to side with Superman and the league while Shayera had chosen with the people of the earth. The same people she had betrayed once and swore never to do again.

"The attack on the manor killed one of his sons – Tim. Dick died a week later, succumbing to the wounds he suffered during the battle. Their deaths nearly destroyed him. Dick and Tim had been the closest thing he had to family. Dick, who was everything Bruce thought he could have been and then some. He had once told Faith that Dick 'Nightwing' was the only thing he felt pride for. They had their differences and didn't talk to or meet each other, but still Dick thought of Bruce as his father and as far as Bruce was concerned, Richard Grayson was his eldest son."

"And then there was Tim Drake. He brought Robin back to life and made it his own in a way which even Dick couldn't manage to do. He didn't just wear the costume, he lived it, just like Bruce Wayne lived Batman."

"After their deaths Bruce plunged further into the darkness and would have been lost if it wasn't for Shayera. She understood his loss of family and friends, much better than any of us could have, with the exception of you." "She pulled him away from the cliff he was rambling towards and brought his sanity back."

"She became his guiding light."