12. Coming Closer

"She became his guiding light."

Diana was silent as Zatanna narrated her story and neither of them noticed Alfred as he came towards them, a tray in his hand.

"Miss Zatanna, Miss Diana" he said, setting the tray in front of them. "I have prepared a midnight snack for late night discussions."

"Thanks Alfred" smiled Zatanna. "You always know how to get me away from the bottle."

"Thank you Alfred" Diana wished the old butler as he bowed and walked away.

"I don't know what we would do without him," commented Zatanna, smiling after him. "He's the one who keeps this whole operation running with his cleaning, cooking, repairing, nursing and what not."

Both of them were silent for a few moments, sipping the hot tea Alfred had prepared for them, along with homemade muffins.

"So where were we?" questioned Zatanna. "Ah, yes – I was telling you about how Bruce and Shayera became close."

Diana silently sipped her tea, holding the warm cup in both her hands, trying to get the heat from the cup to warm her cold soul. 'Cold' she had never felt that. But the last fifteen years she felt nothing but cold. That was the time Themiscyra was destroyed.

"After Bruce recovered from his grief, there was something different about him. It was as if he had taken the game to a whole new level. He had now to do the work of three people, not just one."

"His and Shayera's relationship didn't change till about eleven, maybe twelve years ago. They remained teammates as they had been for so many years. But broken hearts, loneliness and working in close proximity which gave them a chance to get to know each other intimately, brought them closer." "On some level Shayera was waiting for you to come back and maybe Bruce too. Bruce also knew that Shayera had loved John deeply and needed time for those wounds to heal."

Smiling at Diana, she said. "You know Shayera always said that one day, you would return to us."

"She had said the same thing to me when I left," responded Diana.

Placing her empty cup on the glass table, Zatanna continued. "Over the years both of them became close, but refused to act on that closeness. Each thought that the other was still waiting for their respective lovers." "The existing conditions didn't help things either. We had to continuously fight enemy forces and didn't know whether we would live to see the next day or not."

"Things finally changed when in one particularly brutal battle Batman was severely wounded, with fractures in his left leg and both arms, along with a punctured lung and ruptured spleen. Along with other several external injuries." "Shayera was beside herself and spent days, taking care of him and providing round the clock vigil." "It was after that that things changed between the both of them."

----

Unbeknownst to Zatanna, Batman had heard Diana telling about the past sixteen years and was at that time sitting in his chair, staring at the huge monitor, his mind recalling his and Shayera's first time together. No one knew about it, with the exception of Alfred. He knew everything.

It had been in the days following the mansion attack. Shayera had been staying in the manor and working with him for almost eight months. After their initial problems, they had settled down into a comfortable system sort of.

Batman knew that Shayera missed John and he knew that she never called him or tried to contact him by any other means, just as he didn't with Diana. He was thankful when Shayera had met with Diana, saving him the pain of seeing her again and having the day of the vote and the fact that she was now the enemy hit him right in the face. Not that she was ever out of his mind.

Their first time together was the result of two people hurting over the loss of life of their friends and teammates. Or, maybe it was just him and Shayera was just trying to be a friend. They had returned to the cave to salvage whatever was possible. He had broken down in the martial arts room, remembering the countless hours he had spent there with Dick, Tim and Barbara, training them and enjoying their antics with each other.

Shayera had found him kneeling on the floor, Dick's escrima sticks clenched to his chest. There were no tears in his eyes. His children had died as warriors, fighting on the battlefield. He wouldn't cry. He would use pain of losing them; the same way he had used the loss of his parents.

He was however teetering on a cliff and the final push had come when Shayera had brought him Robin's uniform and insignia. That broke all the dams and barriers he had been building up. He had at least been able to bury Dick, but Tim…..Tim had been vaporized right before his eyes. His cries of pain still echoing in his ears.

Shayera had held him as he had cried for the first time in almost three decades. He had cried for his sons and for his daughter, which Barbara was for all reasons. She had held him even when he had started kissing her shoulder, and then moved on to her face and her lips. Afterwards he had felt dirty for taking advantage or her, but at that time, his mind had shut down. Years later, she told him, that she allowed him because she knew he needed it, just as much as she did.

They had been rough and wild the first time, 'fucking' each other like animals. It was as if all their pain was flowing out of their bodies. Later they made soft passionate love, healing each other.

They had fallen asleep together, with Shayera cradling in shoulder, her hand lightly draped across his scarred chest and his pulling and holding her to him.

/flashback/

Shayera woke up, her eyes fluttering open as she looked around the unknown surroundings. She seemed to be in a Japanese room. Suddenly the events of the previous night came to her and she whipped around. "Bruce" she whispered, but there was no one there. Her clothes were strewn all over the room and the only evidence of Batman being there, was his cape, which was draped across her naked body like a bed-sheet.

Standing up she clenched the cape across her chest, its excess length trailing behind her. She walked out of the room to look for Batman.

She found him, standing over a steep drop, his costume on and the mask loosely grasped in his left hand. His head was lowered and he looked deep in thought and Shayera had an idea about what he was thinking.

"Bruce" she called out softly.

Batman didn't answer, so she walked up to him and lay her free hand on his broad shoulder. He instantly stiffened, his shoulder muscles twitching under her hand.

"Bruce…look at me."

Batman turned around slowly, his face still lowered. She gently caressed his tight jaw and lifted it up to look into his dark eyes. The darkness, it had been his consistent companion for so many years. She had thought him to be dark himself, but over time she had come to know that he was light trying to find way out of the darkness.

"I am sorry Shayera" came the gruff whisper.

"Do you regret it?" asked Shayera, knowing what he was apologizing for.

"Yes" "You love him."

"Yes, just like you love her" Shayera knew who 'him' was, and she knew that Batman would know who she meant by 'her'.

Batman didn't answer and looked away.

Shayera stood there watching his back. Finally she spoke. "Its true that I loved John and maybe a part of me still does and will always will. I also know you loved Diana and still do." "What we shared yesterday wasn't just two bodies, but two hearts, two minds…..two souls. We were two people who were hurting and needed love and care to heal. We were there for each other." "Now its up to you to take it as you like – accept it and continue with your life or regret it and keep wallowing in the pain" she ended firmly, turning around and walking away to change into her clothes.

/End Flashback/

Their flight back to their new home had been silent and tense. Her words had been ringing in his ears – 'accept' or 'regret'.

It was a week before they talked to each other; or rather, he talked to her. A week of avoiding her and time spent thinking. He had told her that he was still sorry for taking advantage of her, but he didn't regret the help she had provided and was thankful for that.

Pressing a button brought the face of Shayera Hol up on the screen. He sat there silently watching her. Her smile which could bring light to his darkest days, those green eyes in which he had lost himself so many times and could still do. Her soft red hair. Her large grey wings. Her small but sensuous body.

He missed her. Even after all these years he missed her, the pain of losing her still deep in his chest.

"Shayera" he whispered, his hand rising as if trying to pull her out from the screen and then falling dejectedly to his side.

---

He sat there, alone, unaware of a pair of eyes watching him.

A pair of eyes, which had watched him through the years. Watched him at his peak as the Guardian of Gotham, as the man who had everything and lost it in an instant. They had also watched him when he found a new life and a new purpose and a new love. They now watched him as he sat alone, remembering his love.

Stepping out of the shadows the owner of the eyes came forward approaching him silently.

"Batman"