I shrugged Mr. Weasley off and put a tentative hand to my brow. As my hand drifted back down my sense of balance was skewed and my eyes rolled back into my head. I collapsed onto the cold hard kitchen floor.
I must not have been out for too long. My eyes fluttered open and I was still on the floor but now there were more people in the kitchen than before. Mrs. Weasley had returned with Lupin and Ron and Hermione trailing behind. The thing I was most aware of was the cool sensation on my cheek.
"He's running a fever. But I'm sure it was his scar that caused it, " Mr. Weasley explained to Lupin. The cool feeling left my cheek and moved to my forehead and I prayed it would not leave. But it did and moved over my scar. Immediately I flinched away, rolled myself into a sitting position and attempted to stand.
"Easy Harry, just sit back down. You're not well."
"I'm fine Mr. Weasley, stop fussing." Hermione in all her glory pulled over a chair for me in an effort to make a compromise. A chair seemed nicer than the floor so I accepted it. Actually, I more or less fell into it. The truth was I didn't feel that great but I supposed it had more to do with my emotion outburst than anything.
"What happened Harry," Lupin asked as Mrs. Weasley began to make tea.
"My scar hurt. And then… and then I don't know." It was an honest answer but not one that satisfied anyone. Lupin seemed more interested in the fact I could not make eye contact with him or anyone else.
"Look at me." I tried but was too ashamed. Why did he have to be there? Why was he making grand gestures to help me? "Was it Voldemort? Did you have a vision? Are you still in pain?"
"Too many questions." I finally looked him in the eye. "Please, just one at a time." I felt lightheaded again and my concentration was dissolving.
Lupin softened and asked me again in a quite kind of a whisper, "Are you still in pain?"
I lightly shook my head and he asked, "Did you have a vision?" I didn't answer right away, I was thinking. If I did have a vision I didn't remember it so I shook my head a second time. "Was it your scar; was it Voldemort?"
"Yes." Lupin sighed and handed me a cup of tea. Then he left my sight and moved to speak with the Weasleys in private. Ron came over and openly stared at me.
"What?" I was getting rather annoyed with my friend's behavior.
"Hermione went to send word to Dumbledore but she'll be back soon. Are you ok?" I thought about my response and decided on the most truthful answer I could manage by this point, "No. But it's been a hell of day and I just want it to end." Ron nodded and then smiled. "Wanna go up to our room and make fun of the Slytherins?"
I had to smile at that. "Sounds good but I'm not sure I'm cleared to leave just yet." I looked up at Lupin as I said this and he seemed to consider it for a moment. Then he leaned in and asked, "Can we finish our conversation tomorrow?"
I got angry but I tried to suppress it. No, I didn't want to continue the 'conversation from hell' tomorrow. If we had to do it I was going to get it all out tonight so I could wake up tomorrow and pretend like it never happened!
Abruptly I stood up. "Why wait? You wanted to do this in the sitting room, right?" I didn't wait for a response. Instead I walked right out the kitchen and into the sitting room.
Lupin, not wanting to miss his chance, was right behind me.
"Please calm down. I don't want a repeat of what happened earlier." Fuming, I stalked to the back wall and leaned against it in hopes it would hold me back from retaliation.
"I realize that what I said earlier, regarding my stance on accepting guardianship of you, was not well received."
"Look, I get it, ok? Why are we even doing this? It's not like it matters anyway! Nothing will change. Even if you took me, I doubt I would be leaving the secure confines of Privet Drive, owing to the all powerful blood protection and all. Why go through this when it doesn't even matter in the end?"
"It matters to me. I don't understand why you are so upset." He was clueless. How could my dad and Sirius been friends with someone so dense? I was wrong in thinking going through with this tonight was the best plan. I feel so drained and I am starting to think Mr. Weasley was right when he said earlier I was feverish. This had to end and it had to end soon. So I mustered all my resolve and asked the question.
"Why don't you want me?"
---------------------------------------------------
Sorry the last two chapters have been so short. More to come if you are still interested.