Chapter 5

After getting the information they needed to find the professor from a very helpful and solicitous Lisa Carlson, the detectives made their way to the Humanities building. When they approached the professor's office, they found the door wide open and the man they had been seeking sitting with his back to them at a desk piled high with books and papers. Stabler gave a quick knock on the doorframe to alert the professor to their presence.

The man jumped at the sound before swinging his desk chair around toward the door. A tousled head of thinning hair that had faded to a silvery white capped a weathered face set in lines of worry and distraction. Faded blue eyes turned to meet theirs as he said, "I'm sorry, but office hours ended five minutes ago and I have a deadline on this book proposal . . . ." The professor's voice trailed off and his mouth formed into an o of surprise when he saw the two detectives standing there. "So sorry, I thought you were one of my students. May I help you with something?"

"I hope so," Stabler said flashing his badge. "Are you Professor Louis Dellacorte?"

The man's eyes went even wider behind the thick lenses of the wirerimmed glasses set on his nose, as he said with evident surprise, "Yes, I'm Lou Dellacorte. You're the police? Oh dear. What's happened? It's not my wife is it? Is she all right?"

"We're not here about your wife, professor," Benson said. "We were hoping you could help us with an investigation we're working on. Do you know David Gallagher?"

"David? Yes, of course. A fine young man. One of my best students. He definitely takes after his parents in the brains department."

"You knew his parents?" Stabler asked with interest.

"I started in the department about a year before they were killed. What a terrible tragedy. I had several lovely conversations with them both individually and together. Incredibly bright people. And they doted on that little boy. Called him their miracle child. Vic told me once that Linda kept having miscarriages and they'd just about given up hope of ever having a child the normal way when David came along. He was around 7 the one time I met him back then, but I was struck even then by the intelligence shining from his eyes. He's grown into quite a remarkable young man."

Suddenly realizing he should be wondering why they were asking about David, the man asked with concern, "He's not in trouble, is he? He's such a good natured soul, I can't imagine him causing trouble for anyone."

"Why not?" Stabler asked. "Every kid gets into trouble sometimes. It's natural."

"Perhaps. I just find it hard to believe David would do anything bad enough to involve the police. He's a good-hearted kid who'd give you the shirt off his back in the middle of a blizzard."

Stabler couldn't help smiling at the analogy. "What about Justin Graves?"

"Justin? Oh dear. I'm afraid it's much easier for me to believe he's in some kind of trouble. He's a bit of a wild child, that one. I was surprised to see that he and David seemed to be developing a friendship -- their personalities are such polar opposites -- but I hoped being around David might have a calming influence on Justin. It never occurred to me it would go the other way. Has Justin gotten David into some kind of trouble?"

"Both boys were involved in an incident at an off-campus party that's under investigation," Benson said, without further elaboration.

"It's not that fraternity party with the orgy everyone's talking about, is it?" Dellacorte said with dismay. "I've been hearing rumors there's a very graphic video floating around."

"We're not at liberty to discuss the details of our investigation," Benson replied automatically, "but we'd appreciate it if you'd answer some more questions for us anyway."

"If it will help David, of course -- I'll tell you anything you need to know."

"You seem to know a lot about David," Stabler said. "Can you tell us who his friends are? Does he have a girlfriend . . . or boyfriend we could talk to?"

Dellacorte's jaw dropped in surprise at the phrasing of the question, but he recovered quickly. "As far as friends go, it's hard to narrow it down. David gets along well with everyone. Whenever I see him on campus, he's usually in a group of at least three or four people. He's involved in most of the social service activities, so he spends a great deal of time in groups working on those projects. But as far as close friends go, he usually comes to class and leaves with Jessica Langford, and most of the time Nick Devlin is with them.

"As for a significant other, . . ." the man shrugged, "I've been teaching here for a number of years and it's usually easy to tell who's interested in whom, who's more than interested and sometimes even when they've actually done the deed. I've sensed some strong chemistry between Jessica and David, but nothing that would make me think they're anything more than close friends at this point. There's no one else in my class he seems attracted to in that way."

"What about Justin?"

"If you're asking whether I think David might be attracted to Justin, I'd have to say not at all. In fact, I've never gotten the impression that David was gay, although I don't really know him well enough to say for sure. Now that I'm thinking about it, though, Justin has been following David around like a devoted puppy the last few weeks. It's very possible that he's gay, and, if so, he may have developed a crush on David. David is one of the few people who is always kind to him and takes the time to listen to what he has to say, so I can see how he might misread more into David giving him that attention than is warranted. David's that way with everybody though, and, personally, I never sensed he had any greater interest in Justin than simple friendship."

"You said Justin being in trouble wouldn't surprise you - why do you say that?" Benson prodded.

Dellacorte sighed heavily. "Justin is the polar opposite of David in every way, not just personality wise. I assume you've seen him. He's short and slight and, except for the red hair and freckles, not really the type most people notice in a crowd. As a result, he has a bit of a Napoleon complex -- he does things to draw attention to himself and they're not always the wisest or the most prudent things. As an example, it wouldn't surprise me at all to find out Justin was involved with that sex video, but David? Never. Not after . . . ."

Realizing what he'd started to say, the man abruptly went silent and flushed guiltily.

"After what?" Benson prodded.

When Dellacorte didn't respond immediately and continued to look uncomfortable, Stabler said, "We already know about David's past. You're not breaking any confidences talking about it."

The man relaxed slightly but still looked as if he wished he could change the subject. Finally he continued, "After what that poor boy went through, the terrible things that were done to him, I can't imagine him having anything to do with something like that video."

"He talked to you about what happened to him while he was missing?"

"A little. In class I spend a few weeks covering the Greco-Roman era and every year there's always someone -- this year it was Justin -- who tries to liven up the class discussions by bringing up the homosexual sex and orgies that are the fodder of so much of the media entertainment depicting that era. Some of the material we cover is very graphic simply because that's the way life really was back then.

"David came to my office after Justin brought the subject up in class. He was very disturbed by it. He knows I'm one of the people who's been here long enough to remember what happened to him, and I think that's the only reason he felt comfortable talking to me about it. He said reading one of the novels and looking at some of the artwork in the textbook reminded him of things that had happened to him while he was 'away' - that's what he calls it, 'the time he was away'. I told him if the readings were upsetting him, he didn't have to finish the rest of the assignments for that section, we could come up with an alternate assignment for him that involved less disturbing material. He seemed relieved I was willing to accommodate him and agreed that was a good solution.

"Before he left I suggested he speak to his therapist about the memories that were being dredged up and his feelings about them, and he said he would. I don't know if he ever did though. And when it came time to discuss the alternate assignment, he said he'd thought it over and changed his mind. He said he'd be okay doing the same work as everybody else. And he said something else that surprised me a bit because I thought it showed an incredible amount of maturity for a young man who'd been through as much as he had."

"What was that?" Stabler asked.

"He said he didn't want what happened when he was away to define him - to separate him or make him different from everyone else. He didn't want it to keep him from doing the things everyone else took for granted - even if that meant something as simple as being able to read the same books and do the same assignments as everyone else in class.

"I told him I had a lot of respect for him for feeling that way, but I reiterated my advice that he discuss the issue with his therapist - that dealing with it alone and allowing it to fester was not good for him. He thanked me for my concern and said he would."

"He sounds like a pretty special kid," Benson commented.

Dellacorte sighed heavily. "He is. He was still a small child when he disappeared but he came back, at least emotionally, a full-grown man. That experience changed him, made him face things about himself and about the people around him that most people don't even realize exist, let alone have to face, until they're much older. It scarred him in some ways, but made him stronger in others.

"And he told me it made him realize the things that are really important in life aren't the material ones, but the emotional and spiritual ones. He came to believe that every person can make a difference -- sometimes a very big one -- in someone else's life just by caring enough to reach out and help them, even if it's in a very small way. That's why he's so heavily into service activities like Habitat and tutoring. It's his way of giving back to those who helped him by passing that same kindness on to others in need."

"Where do you think he came up with such a wise philosophy?" Stabler asked.

"His parents laid the foundation, of course, but I think his foster parents, the Spencers, had a lot to do with it too. They were very good people who'd spent most of their lives fostering abused and neglected children, so they knew what kind of problems to expect when ACS asked them to take David in. I understand it was a very difficult adjustment at first, but the one thing they absolutely refused to let the boy do was wallow in victimhood. They pushed him to take control of his own life and make it count for something. And he's made the effort to do just that. But after they died, he had to work the rest of it out on his own." The man went silent for a moment, clearly weighing whether he should say what else he was thinking.

"Professor, we're trying to help David, not hurt him. We need to get inside his head to figure out how best to do that."

"Very well," the man said with a sigh of resignation. "David and I had another discussion a few weeks later. We were talking in class about morality and ethics and how the concepts were applied during different eras of history. He came to me after class again because his question related to his past and that's not something he ever discusses in front of the others.

"We talked for about an hour. David told me a little more about what happened to him during those missing five years, particularly the final months before he was rescued. He was struggling with the moral and ethical issues surrounding his feelings toward the man who called the police to report he had been left in the mall - I believe his name was Kristian."

Stabler froze for a moment at the mention of the name, then gritted his teeth and continued writing in his notebook.

"David was vague about how he ended up with the man, and I didn't press, but it was clear their relationship involved sexual abuse. Despite that, David had very conflicted feelings about him. He said everyone told him Kristian was just as bad as his first foster father, the one who kidnapped him, but, even though he knew intellectually that some of the things Kristian had done to him were just as wrong as the things his foster father had done, in his heart, he believed there had to be some good in the man. David was having a hard time accepting that Kristian could still be a bad person, when he had been the one to save him - and in fact had been the only one to show him any kindness or do anything to help him during the entire time he was away.

"David believes Kristian took a big chance by calling the police and making sure he got into safe hands, instead of just giving him back to his foster father like he was supposed to. He believes if Kristian hadn't taken that chance for him, his foster father would still be abusing and prostituting him today. He doesn't believe he ever would have been strong enough to escape on his own. I think that's one of the reasons he tries so hard to help others in need. He wants to make a difference in other people's lives the way Kristian did for him."

"That's a pretty heavy load for him to be carrying alone," Stabler said in a carefully neutral voice, restraining the anger that had surged through him at the thought of David considering his abuser to be some kind of hero. "What did you tell him?"

"I'm afraid the subject matter was quite a bit out of my league, but I did the best I could. I told him moral and ethical issues aren't that clear cut -- that's why there's so much argument about them. Most people aren't simply good or bad -- they fall somewhere in between on the scale. Some of the finest, and normally most upright people can be capable of the most heinous acts if pushed hard enough, while some of the most evil ones can occasionally be capable of surprising acts of kindness. I'm sure you see many examples of that in your line of work.

"Anyway, I suggested again he talk to his therapist to help him work through those issues. He said again that he would. That was about three weeks ago. He hasn't been by to see me again since then."

"Thanks for your help, Professor," Benson said holding out one of her cards to him. "I'd appreciate it if you'd call me if you think of anything else that might be useful."

"Of course. I'll be happy to help in any way I can. And if you see David, please tell him my thoughts and prayers are with him."

"We will," Benson said.

"Oh, one more thing, Professor, if you know," Stabler said casually.

"Yes?"

"You said you knew David's parents and they were devoted to him. Do you have any idea why they didn't name a guardian for him in case of their deaths? I understand they were in their forties when they had him so it wasn't a stretch of the imagination that they could die before he reached maturity. Why would they take a chance like that?"

"Such a tragedy," the man responded, shaking his head sadly. "They did name guardians, their best friends, in fact -- Matt and Susan Phillips -- the four of them were inseparable. Even though they spent so much time together and often traveled together, I don't think it ever occurred to Vic and Linda that Matt and Susan might die in the same accident they did. Such a terrible, terrible tragedy."

"What do you think, Ell?" Benson asked as the detectives exited the building and headed for their car.

"I don't know," Stabler responded with frustration. "The more I find out about these kids, the cloudier the picture gets. David's the boy next door, Justin's the wild child. What could those two possibly have in common that would be the basis of any kind of friendship."

Benson's response was casual, although she cast a considering look at her partner as she spoke. "Maybe it's not something obvious."

Stabler narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "Like what?"

Benson met her partner's eyes and held the gaze. "Maybe George Huang is right, maybe Justin was molested as a child too and that's what drew David to him - kindred spirits. Maybe David saw in Justin the only other person he knew who could understand what it was like to have your childhood stolen like that."

"Maybe," Stabler said dismissively, but it was clear he wasn't buying that theory and his mind was somewhere else entirely. "How much time is left before we need to pick up David?"

"A little over an hour."

"Let's see if we can get addresses for the two kids the professor mentioned. If one of them lives close by, we might be able to squeeze in a short interview before we have to head over to the hospital."

A quick call to Lisa Carlson got the detectives the local addresses for Jessica Langford and Nick Devlin.

"Jessica's just around the corner," Benson reported. "Nick's in off-campus housing a couple of blocks away."

"Let's try Jessica first. If the professor is right about there being 'chemistry' between her and David, I'm interested to see how she felt about having Justin added to the mix."

When the door to Jessica Langford's apartment opened, the detectives were startled to see that the petite blond with wide green eyes who'd opened it was crying.

"It's about time you got here, Gert," the girl hiccuped between sobs before she saw the two detectives. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I thought you were somebody else," she said with embarassment, quickly wiping at her sopping cheeks with her hands.

Benson pulled out a small packet of tissues she kept handy for such emergencies and handed it to the girl.

"Thanks," the blond muttered as she wiped her face and blew her nose.

"We're sorry to disturb you, but we're looking for Jessica Langford. I'm Detective Benson and this is my partner Detective Stabler," she added as she flashed her badge.

"Oh my God!" the girl shrieked, fresh tears filling her eyes. "The police! Where's David? Is he okay? Did that bastard hurt him?"

"It's okay," Benson said in a soothing voice as she exchanged speculative looks with her partner. "First of all, are you Jessica?"

The girl nodded as she swiped at several stray tears with shaking hands.

"Okay, Jessica," Benson said. "Would you mind if went inside to talk? We're attracting a bit of attention out here."

The girl looked up in surprise to see that several doors along the hall had opened at her shriek and there were girls either poking their heads out or standing by their open doors with arms crossed over their chests looking concerned. "Oh, sorry, sure. Come in," she stammered, moving out of the way so the detectives could enter.

"Please, tell me. Is he hurt? Is he . . . is he dead?" she pleaded, her eyes filling with fresh tears as she signalled the detectives to sit on the sofa while she took the armchair opposite them. "I've been calling every hour since I heard about the video yesterday and no one answers. I even tried going over to his apartment earlier, but he wouldn't answer the door.

"Gert said all the boys on the video are being expelled. It would kill David to get expelled. He loves this school. His parents taught here." She started to cry again, "I . . . I'm so afraid he might have done something to hurt himself."

"It's okay, Jessica," Benson soothed, leaning over and patting the girl gently on the shoulder. "David's going to be fine. He's in the hospital right now, but we're going to pick him up from there in a little while. He has to come with us to answer some questions, but he should be home by 5 or 6 tonight."

"He's . . . he's okay?" the girl hiccupped through sniffles as though not believing what she was hearing. "Wait, you said he's in the hospital. Why? What happened? What did Justin do to him?"

The detectives looked at each other, unsure how to answer the question without giving too much away.

"David's going to be fine, Jessica," Stabler reassured her, "but can you tell me why you think Justin's the reason he's in the hospital?"

"That sneaky, despicable little snake!" Jessica raged. "Everything was fine until he came along and insinuated himself into our lives. David is such a nice guy. Always willing to take in the strays. But I could see from the beginning that something wasn't right about Justin. I'd catch him looking at David sometimes and the look on his face . . . ." She gave an involuntary shiver, "That look just gave me chills.

"I told David a couple of times he needed to be careful around Justin, but David just shrugged it off. He said Justin acts out sometimes because he's lonely and he just needs somebody to pay attention to him once in awhile. David is always so sweet like that, he can't stand to see anybody suffering. And he's especially empathetic with people who are alone, like he is. He felt bad for Justin because he's an orphan too. Even though Justin's got an uncle who took him in, the uncle's always out of town on business, so he spends most of his time alone. David understands what it feels like to be that alone."

"Jessica," Benson asked carefully, "have you seen the video? Do you know what's on it?"

"Not yet. I'm not sure I want to. Gert said it's awful. When she first told me it was an orgy, but it was all guys, and that David was part of it, I wouldn't believe her. David's not gay. I'd know if he were. She's supposed to be bringing a copy over now so I can see for myself."

"You might not want to do that, Jessica," Stabler said gently. "We can tell you for certain that David is on the video. And your friend Gert is right. It's pretty awful and it's not something you're going to want to have replaying in your head for the rest of your life. Especially not if you want to be there for David to help him get through this. The next couple of days, actually more like the next couple of months are going to be very difficult for him."

"Elliot," Benson made the word a warning.

But Jessica had already connected the dots. Her hands flew to her mouth and she shrieked again, "Oh my God! They raped him, didn't they. And Justin was behind it. I just know he was. That bastard!"

Benson stared at her partner in shock, then turned to the distraught girl. "Jessica, we're still investigating. It's too soon to know exactly who did what to whom. No one," she gave her partner a pointed look, "is ready to use the word 'rape' yet and we'd appreciate it if you didn't spread that word around until we're sure. Right now we're investigating the possibility that drugs and alcohol may have been a factor in what happened at the party."

Jessica was staring at the detective, hands shaking as she tried to process what Benson had said. "Justin drugged him, didn't he. I knew David would never do anything like that by choice, not after what happened to him when he was a kid. It made him uncomfortable about sex. He doesn't even like anyone touching him without permission, and he gets really nervous whenever he knows someone is behind him and he can't see what they're doing. He'd never willingly have sex with a bunch of other guys, especially guys he doesn't know."

"Jessica, it would be a really big help to us if you could tell us why you're so sure Justin is responsible for what happened," Stabler said.

"Because things were going fine before he came along, then everything changed. David and I met during freshman orientation three years ago at a sign-up table for the first Habitat for Humanity trip. There were a bunch of other people there too, and we stood around laughing and joking for awhile. Then we all went to the student center together to get something to eat. I ended up sitting next to David. We got to talking and discovered we had a lot in common. We became fast friends after that and have been ever since. We did everything together -- at least until Justin came along."

"What changed when Justin came along?"

"It was clear to me from day one that Justin wanted David all to himself. He went out of his way to say things and do things that would offend me when David was out of earshot so I wouldn't want to hang around them any more. I found myself starting to beg off when David asked me to go out with the group and Justin was going to be there. I got really mad at myself for letting Justin win, so about a week and a half ago, I finally confronted David about it. I told him to not even bother calling me if Justin was going out with us, that I wasn't going to put up with his crude and vulgar conduct any more.

"He got really upset and asked why I hadn't said anything before. I told him I was trying to keep him out of the middle since Justin and I so obviously weren't ever going to get along, and I knew he wanted to try and stay friends with him.

"David must have given Justin a piece of his mind, because the next day Justin came up to us at lunch all contrite and begged my forgiveness for being such a jerk. He said he had a big problem making friends and he didn't want to lose the few he'd managed to make at school. He begged me to give him another chance.

"I was furious. I knew it was a con. I could see the smirk lurking at the back of his eyes, but David was sitting there looking at me expectantly, knowing I would do the good and honorable thing and give him another chance. I knew I had no choice but to relent or I'd look like the bad guy, so I said fine. But I told him as a show of good faith he needed to back off for a little while and not be around us all the time."

"I could tell he was pissed at that, but I'd put him in the same box he'd had me in a few minutes before, so he had no choice but to agree and said he'd start right then. He turned around and stalked off. I knew he'd try and find a way to get back at me somehow, but I never expected he'd do anything to hurt David."

"Jessica, we have to ask you a couple of questions now that you might consider very personal. You don't have to answer them if you don't want to, but there's a reason we're asking and the answers might help us in figuring all this out," Benson said gently. "First, do you consider David to be your boyfriend?"

Jessica flushed with embarrassment. "I like David a lot and I'd like us to be together some day, but we've never used the terms boyfriend and girlfriend with each other. We spend most of our time together but there's never any kissing or hand holding or anything like that in public."

"What about in private?"

The girl's face flushed even brighter and she shot a quick glance at Stabler before looking away.

Taking the cue that the girl was embarrassed to talk about such things in front of a man, Stabler pulled out his cellphone and looked at it as if it had been vibrating and he were checking to see who the call was from. He said to Benson, "I've got to take this. Why don't you go on without me. Jessica, is it okay for me to go out on the balcony?"

"Oh, sure. Go ahead Detective Stabler," the girl said, her relief obvious.

When Stabler was safely ensconced on the balcony, Jessica leaned in conspiratorially, "I'm so glad he got that call. He reminds me so much of my uncle Ted, my Dad's brother, and I just couldn't imagine how I was going to talk about stuff like this in front of him."

"He should be on that call for awhile, so I think we're okay," Benson replied. "This shouldn't take that long."

"Okay," Jessica said and blew out a heavy breath. "You asked about what we do in private. Sometimes we make out a little but it's never gone past third base."

"Is that your choice or his."

The girl looked uncomfortable. "Look Detective, I'm not the kind of girl who sleeps around."

"I understand that," Benson said patiently. "But this is a boy you've liked, been friends with for over three years now, someone you'd like to really be your boyfriend. Anybody would understand if you were ready to take it to the next level."

"Yeah, I guess that's true," the girl said reluctantly. "But David's different than other guys. He had things, bad things happen to him when he was a kid. He's not sure he's ready to take that step yet. He's afraid it'll bring back all the bad memories and that might screw up our friendship."

"That's understandable, but you never know if you don't try."

Jessica looked uncomfortable again. "Look, are you sure this is going to just be between the two of us. I don't want David to be embarrassed or get mad at me, thinking I blabbed it all over."

"Of course," Benson said. "Just between us girls. I promise."

"Over summer vacation we went away together for a week to the Maryland shore. We figured we'd see if we could stand each other for a week and if it worked out, maybe we'd move in together this semester. David hadn't told me much about his past at that point. I think he was hoping it would just stay buried and he'd be able to go on with a normal life.

"Anyway, the first day we spent a lot of time on the beach and boardwalk so we were exhausted when we got back to the room. We sat up watching tv for awhile and started making out pretty hot and heavy. We ended up naked and I can tell you for a fact there was definite interest on his end so he's not gay."

Benson suppressed a smile at how emphatically the girl delivered that line.

"We cuddled up together and were exploring each other's bodies, just taking our time. We ended up falling asleep like that before we could go any further. I woke up in the middle of the night and heard the strangest sound like an animal whimpering. I turned on the light and David was curled up on the other side of the bed in a little ball making those sounds. I thought he was just having a nightmare, so I started to shake him to wake him up but he let out a little yelp, like a frightened animal, and tried to move further away from me. He ended up falling off the bed, but he still didn't wake up. He just laid there on the floor, naked, making that whimpering sound."

"I was totally freaked out. I didn't know what was wrong with him or what to do. I didn't know if I should call a doctor or what. So I got out of bed, grabbed my robe and put it on. Then I grabbed his robe and wrapped it around him. That seemed to calm him a little. So I laid down on the floor next to him and just held him and told him it was okay and everything was going to be all right. Finally, the whimpering stopped and his body relaxed."

The girl wiped a tear from her eye, "I never thought I'd be so happy to have a naked guy fall asleep on me."

Benson gave the empathetic smile she knew the girl needed to see to continue her story.

"I didn't try to move him. I was too scared of what would happen. I just pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around us and held him. I didn't sleep all night. I just laid there watching him sleep, worried that if I drifted off, I'd wake up to that horrible whimpering again.

"When he finally woke up the next morning, he seemed all right at first, but when he looked around and realized we were on the floor and then took a good look at my face, he got really upset and started frantically asking me what had happened, what he'd done. I kept telling him he didn't do anything, he just had a bad dream, but he didn't believe me. Then he asked me if he'd hurt me; he had this look of absolute terror on his face when he said it that almost broke my heart. I told him 'no, of course not, I'm fine' over and over again.

"I finally got him to believe me, but he was still really upset. We got dressed and went to get some breakfast, but he hardly said three words to me the entire time and barely ate anything. I suggested we go for a walk on the beach because I know being by the sea and hearing the waves calms him. That's just one of those silly things you learn about somebody over time, I guess. You don't really think about it, but one day you realize you just know it. I know it's silly but it feels good to realize you have this little secret thing that only you know about the person you . . . you care about."

"I know what you mean," Benson said with an encouraging smile.

"Anyway, we walked for a long time before we found a quiet, secluded spot where it would be safe to talk. That's when he finally told me everything." Jessica wiped another tear from her eye. "It was so horrible, but it was such a relief at the same time. Do you know what I mean?" she asked casting a hopeful glance at Benson.

"Yeah. I do. You never want to think it's your fault that someone you love is hurting."

"Exactly," the girl said with relief. "I didn't want those terrible things to have happened to him, but I also didn't want what happened the night before to be because of something I did, or didn't do, or did but didn't do right."

"Of course," Benson said, nodding sympathetically.

"Anyway, I could tell by the way he was holding himself when he told me -- his back was really straight and he was so tense he was practically vibrating -- that he expected me to turn and run away screaming or at least yell at him for not telling me before and stomp away in a huff. But I didn't. I put my arms around him and held him while we both cried. I felt so awful for him. He was so little when that man took him. He must have been so frightened and so lonely -- and it must have hurt so much.

"I'm sorry," Jessica said wiping her face again and blowing her nose loudly. "I can't bear to think about it. It makes me cry every time I think about those terrible people hurting him like that. He's such a good person. He'd never deliberately hurt anyone. Sometimes I wonder how he managed to stay such a good person with all the terrible things they did to him. But he is a good person. I can see it in him every time I look at him."

"I'm sorry for having to make you go through this Jessica," Benson said, her voice trembling with compassion. "I know how difficult it must be for you. But it's been very helpful for me to hear it and we're going to do our best to help David. I promise you that."

Jessica gazed at her intently, looking for signs it was a lie. Seeing only truth on Benson's face, she nodded her head and said, "When you pick him up, tell him I'm here waiting for him. That I love him and I intend to be there for him through this -- whether he wants me there or not."

"You can tell him yourself. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"No. Please tell him. I know David. He's going to be embarrassed and ashamed that this happened. He won't want to face me. Please tell him what I said so he knows I know already, so he knows he doesn't have to be embarrassed or ashamed. That I still love him."

"I will," Benson promised, choking back the tears gathering in her own throat.

A sudden knock on the sliding glass door to the balcony startled both women before they realized it was Stabler, who made a motion as if asking if it was okay to come back in yet. Benson motioned her partner in and he opened the door and stepped through.

"Everything okay?" he asked looking from Benson to Langford and back again, frowning slightly at the signs of tightly reined in emotion around his partner's eyes and mouth.

"Yeah," Benson said. "I think we're almost done here. Just one more question, Jessica. You said you just found out about the video yesterday. You haven't talked to David this week?"

The girl cast her eyes down in shame and shook her head. "I left last Thursday night to go home for a funeral - my grandmother died. I talked to David briefly Friday afternoon, but with all the family stuff going on, I didn't have a chance to call him again until I got back on Wednesday night. I was a little surprised when he didn't call me back right away, but I thought maybe he was busy studying and had the volume turned down on the answering machine. Then Gert called and told me about the video yesterday afternoon, and I realized why he wasn't calling me back. I kept trying to reach him but he kept not answering.

"I feel so awful that I wasn't there for him, to help him through this, or even to stop it from happening in the first place. I'm sure the minute Justin heard I was going to be out of the picture for a couple of days, he set up the entire thing. The little weasel probably figured he could drive me away with this stunt and then he'd have David all to himself. Well it's not going to work. And when I get my hands on Justin, I'm going to kick his scrawny little ass from here to Alaska."

"I have one question and I apologize if you already covered this with Olivia," Stabler interjected, trying to hide a smile at the image the girl's passionate words invoked, "but it's obvious you don't like Justin, that you haven't liked him all along. So why was David willing to stay friends with him?"

Jessica hesitated for a minute before answering. "Like I told you before, David's a nice guy and he felt really bad for Justin because his parents are dead just like David's and he's such a social misfit, he's always alienating people. David knows what it's like to be lonely so he has a special place in his heart for lonely, disconnected people."

She took a deep breath, "I think it's more than that though. David never said so directly, but I got the feeling from some of the things he said that he felt for Justin for another reason. I think Justin might have been abused when he was a kid too. I don't want to think about it, because I feel like I have to be less angry at him because of that, and I don't want to be less angry at him. If he was abused, it certainly can never justify what he did to David. In fact, it makes what he did even worse because he has to know how much it would hurt David to have to go through something like that again."

The detectives were silent for a moment before Benson finally said, "Thanks again, Jessica. We really appreciate you taking the time to talk with us. And if you need anything, anything at all, please give me a call." She handed the girl her card then gave her a quick, comforting hug before turning to follow her partner toward the door.

Just as they reached it, there was a loud, insistent knocking. The two detectives' hands moved automatically to their weapons, as Jessica went to open the door. It was barely halfway open, when a tall, thin brunette barreled through, waving something that looked like a dvd in her hand.

"Here it is, Jess. Are you sure you really want to see it? It's so awful! I couldn't believe it when I realized David was in it. And some of the other guys in it - I can't believe they're all gay. What a total waste!"

The girl finally stopped talking when she realized there were other people in the room and stood there with her mouth open and a slow flush spreading up her face.

Benson thought the girl was a little too excited by the prospect of the awfulness of the video, and was amused when Stabler stepped forward and snatched the disc from her hand saying with a tight smile, "Thanks Gert, but she's sure she doesn't want to see it. I'll take it instead."

The detectives walked out of the room to the girl's perplexed cries of, "What? Who? What just happened? Where's he going with my dvd?"