Friday, June 18, 2005
Dear Angel of Music,
He was so beautiful up there last night; I can't even express how much my heart jolted just seeing him. I just sat there, smack in the middle of the auditorium watching him, barely aware that there was a full house, hardly knowing that my family was there with me. Watching, hoping he could see me, wishing he would notice me, admire me, love me. Knowing that he didn't, but dreaming all the same.
I dream of his smooth, sweet, almost chocolaty voice at night, singing to me, singing for me. I love him with all my heart. But he'll never love me. No, he could never love me.
Alex says he's a fop, but I think of Jake as a musical angel. When I first met Alex, I wondered at how she could be so freely unique, so willing to be completely herself. I wanted to be like that, to be able to wear mismatched socks and not have a care in the world whether or not people would laugh or tease me; to say "you rock my sox", in stead of "H.A.G.S." in peoples' yearbooks. So I hung out with her. Got to know her. I soon found out that she was obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera, so after hanging out with her for a while, I became obsessed too.
Jake is, and has been for the past year, my major crush. He's like, the hottest, cutest, sweetest, funniest, greatest,… Okay, so maybe I'm going a little over board here, but he is really talented.
Maybe I should tell you about most of the people I'm going to talk about in this diary, First of all, Alex, I've already told you about her, she is officially one of my best friends. Then there's D.J. Her real name is Djovan, but we all call her D.J. for short. I met her because of Alex. Alex and D.J. are best friends. When I met Alex, I also met D.J. D.J. is really fun to be around, but she is also a bit odd. But then again, I shouldn't be talking, because we're all a bit odd. I would have to say D.J. is the oddest though. She is always wearing black, but Alex wears black a lot too. D.J. is a little perverted though. Okay, that's an understatement. She drools for hours at a time at pictures of Gerard Butler in his role as Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera. Oh, did I mention that she's obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera too? Well she is. And she also has that great quality that Alex has, the ambition to be different. She is really a lot of fun to be with.
Carol is a really sweet, fun, happy kind of person. She is really crafty, and very creative. I met Carol because she sat at my lunch table this school year. Sometimes I call her Mooly, because she looks frighteningly like my friend Molly from camp and the nickname that everyone at camp calls Molly is Mooly, which she doesn't like very much, so I took it upon myself to pass the name on to Carol, as a joke. She then proceeded in calling me Mooly Mama, don't ask me why. She's really nice, but a bit naïve. She never curses and scolds us all if any of us curse. But I guess we probably shouldn't be cursing at our age, (12).
There's also Deborah, she had the exact same schedule as Alex and D.J., and so they got to know each other. Then when the 2005 Phantom movie came out, they invited her to come with all of us to the movie and when they became obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera too, we all became friends with her. Deborah is friendly, fun to be with, and spunky. But she can get on your nerves once in a while. She says insulting things often. But she doesn't usually mean it. Deborah is really cool and she is lots of fun.
And of course we can't forget Shira. Shira is always crushing on some boy or another, but her crushes usually only last a week or two. It's pretty funny actually. Some times I think she's gonna run out of boys to have crushes on. We met Shira the same way we met Deborah. Shira's a really funny girl who is fun to hang out with and always good for a laugh.
Well that's my phantom fan squad for you, funny, spunky, sweet, odd, and unique.
-XXX-
And then of course there's Elizabeth. She is my ten year old sister who some times I wish was never born. You could call her a brat, or of course, you could be optimistic and say she's a sweet little idiot! Do you know what she did to me today? Or are you already too depressed to hear of such horrible mistreatment of your loving older sibling? I'll tell you anyway.
Me, my four yr old brother Peter, Elizabeth, and the 18 yr old sitter Emma were playing sardines. It was Emma's turn to hide, so Elizabeth, Peter, and I were counting for Emma to hide, and I saw Elizabeth peek. So I told her, "Don't peek!" and she slapped me for saying she peeked. I was outraged at the fact that my own little sister would slap me, so I hit her back. She, being the little winy suck up of a bitch she is, started to cry like I had stabbed her with a knife. I stalked off. When Emma found me in my room, she said we should apologize. Naturally, I refused to do so until Elizabeth did. So she refused to apologize to, and I quote "a stupid git". Emma being the one in charge said she wouldn't play with any one until we made up.
So Elizabeth said to me, "Please just say sorry already! Emma's going to college soon, and this might be the last time I see her."
I said "Why should I apologize to you for your own selfish reasons? Why can't you apologize first? Besides, you hit me first!"
She told me that she had already apologized, which she hadn't, and that I should apologize. I told her she hadn't said sorry, and she said she had. I told her that even if she had I hadn't heard her and that she should try again louder. So she apologized (not very nicely) and then when I apologized she asked me why I couldn't apologize nicely (which I had). Then she threw papers at me and started crying again, the stupid crybaby. I apologized again twice more and she persisted in running her faucet, on my new beanbag chair! So she wouldn't accept my apologies, or apologize nicely herself. She is such an ignorant bitch. I can't stand that sniveling bag of crap!
-XXX-
I've cooled down finally, been listening to some Phantom of the Opera music. (movie soundtrack) Also I've been reading some fanfics. NamelyThe luv Box, and The letters. They're by the author dmwizrdbabe99. They were really good. Good by for today, my dearest Phantom/ Angel.
There! A nice three page update for you. Now will you please reveiw? I'm running out of ideas, and if I don't get at least 5 reveiws I will not update. :D