Friday, January 20, 2006,

Dear Angel,

I am going tell him (Nikie of course). I can't stand it any more. It has to end or I swear I'll go insane! Or die of an over-swollen heart, if that's possible…

I need a perfect way to tell him how I feel about him. It has to be grasping, so he can hardly say no, but not to emotional, because you know how guys get scared off by strong feminine emotion. Also, it shouldn't be too blunt, because I want him to at least begin to understand how strongly the flame of love pulses through my veins.

I'm trying to decide whether to show him the poems, put them in his locker, or give him a mini monologue.

These are the poems:

Perfect Isn't Love

My heart has swollen to the size of a football in my chest.

It leaves me no space for breathing.

I smile and wave as he passes by.

Then I gasp a shallow breath.

I feel as if my chest nearly explodes every time he smiles,

If he directs the smiles at me I'll never know.

People say we'd be a perfect for each other,

But I say perfect isn't love.

There is nothing more that I want,

And there is nothing that I want more.

His Face

I believe that his face will haunt me endlessly,

As the reminder of the love I will never receive from him.

His sparkling eyes proving how happy he is without me,

How the thought of needing me never crossed his mind,

And how the thought that I might need him was just as absent.

His lips perfect, and untouched,

So many smiles but none for me.

Brown highlighted hair flopped over his forehead,

Carelessly resting there because he has nobody to brush it away for him.

And yet, he wants nobody.

People say I'm nobody, I know I'm not,

Although sometimes I wish I was.

Odd Numbers

It seems that the world is full of odd numbers,

And there's always one left out.

Whenever Cupid decides to let fly an arrow,

It seems that he always runs out of them

Before he gets around to hitting a second person for the last pair.

One is left alone and lovesick.

It's true that an odd plus an odd equals an even,

But it seems impossible to find the other odd.

All is not even and fair,

One is left without a pair.

So it is with love.

Love is not fair.

Especially when you are the one.

I am the one.

I wrote them thinking of him, and when I read them to Alex, they actually made her depressed! That is a compliment! Not much can depress Alex, she is really strong, and doesn't get emotional easily. She's lucky. I don't know what's gotten into me lately, I know I won't be able to last the year with this feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I see him, but I can't tell him! If I tell him, it's the end of our friendship for sure! And I can't risk sacrificing that. Maybe it will pass. Yeah! I just wait for the feeling of love to pass! It's genius!

Oh, what am I kidding myself? This won't pass. This is love! I just am going to have to deal with it! No… But I can't! I have to tell him. It's the only way to end this… Or start it. But really, he doesn't like me. I am a weird quirky girl who he takes pity on and tolerates only because she listens to Green Day, and hangs out with awesome people like Alex, Dj, and Shira. (He hates Deborah). But all the same, I cannot live with this mental torment. The only way is to go and get my heart broken. It's the only way.

At school the next day…

Sarah: Hi Nikie!

Nikie Vevlen: Hey!

Nikie Vevlen: You know the whole thing with Jake getting the part of Joseph is ridiculous. He's such a show off!

Sarah: He's really not that bad once you get to know him.

Nikie Vevlen: No, he really is.

Sarah: Whatever. So, um, Nikie, can I talk to you?

Nikie Vevlen: Sure.

Sarah: Come here.

Nikie Vevlen: So, what's up?

Sarah: Um, well Nikie, I kind of like you…

Nikie Vevlen: Uh… Uhh… Oh.

Sarah: Yeah…

Nikie Vevlen: Since when?

Sarah: Since I met you…

Nikie Vevlen: Um well, can I have some time to think this over?

Sarah: Um, yeah sure, so tell me when you decide, okay?

Nikie Vevlen: Okay, well, see ya…

So, what did you think? Will he say yes? Will he say no? Got you on a bit of a cliffy there eh? Please review, and special thanks to my best reviewers, APickleNamedFrizz61892525, Kathy.L, and Meghan!