Chapter 13

David moaned, desperate to pull himself out of the dream before it went any further. He didn't want to see what happened next, didn't want to have to feel any more of that boy's pain. 'It's not real, it's not real, it's just a dream,' he kept repeating over and over in his head, but still he couldn't break free.

He was laying in the big bed, naked, with only a lightweight sheet tossed haphazardly over the lower half of his body. He felt cold, but not from the lack of clothing or blankets. This cold came from within. It barely managed to numb the pain and only took the slightest edge off the fear.

'Just twenty four hours to go before this nightmare is over.' The thought was meant to comfort, but he wasn't sure he could make it that long. A voice penetrated the pain, but he couldn't react quickly enough. A hand tightened around his upper arm and dragged him off the bed. Mitch was angry, but there was that gleam in his eyes that gave away his delight at having an excuse to punish.

He didn't move or try to fight back. He'd already been desperate enough to make that mistake and he'd paid dearly for it. This monster knew how to inflict pain and he could inflict the most excruciating pain without leaving a mark. And he delighted in it. The only defense was to not give him any kind of provocation, which was almost impossible since most of the time the man gave him no clue what he'd done wrong to anger him in the first place.

Mitch circled him like a predator preparing for the kill while he remained perfectly still, trying not to tremble or cry despite the fear that was tearing his guts to shreds. Before the man could make his move, there was a knock on the bedroom door. A frown crossed Mitch's face as he snarled, "What is it?"

"The camera's set up. We're ready to do the pictures now," came Mike's animated voice from the other side of the door.

"We'll be right there," Mitch called out in a calmer, more relaxed voice. Then he stepped closer and whispered in his ear, "We'll finish this later," before leaning over and kissing him deeply as he delivered a quick rabbit punch to his kidney.

A sharp pain in his side shocked him out of the dream and David drifted to consciousness, lured by the droning of a voice in the distance. It was hard to concentrate on the words B something about pirates and treasure. He opened his eyes reluctantly, acutely aware of the pain in his ribs, shoulder and the side of his face pulsing through him. He tried to move and couldn't help moaning at the fresh pain that scissored through his body.

The droning voice stopped and he heard a rustle of movement nearby. "It's about time you woke up." Justin's voice was sulky, but there was also a hint of fear in it.

"Wh . . . why?" David forced out, finding it hard to form the word through the pain as he moved his head in the direction Justin's voice had come from.

"Why? Why what? Why did I hit you? That should be self-evident you lying, backstabbing shit. After everything I've done for you, all I had to do to get you here was say it was him. You couldn't get here fast enough could you? The three of you must have had quite a party last night."

David's searching eyes finally located Justin sitting on the floor with his back against a wall a few feet from where he was sprawled. The redhead's face was pale and blotchy, his cheeks still damp with recently shed tears. He had pulled his legs up against him and his arms were clutching a book protectively against his chest. David could only stare at him uncomprehendingly as he tried to make sense of Justin's accusation.

"What? Did you really think I wasn't watching? That I didn't see your boyfriend and his bitch show up at your place at midnight? Did you think I didn't know they never left? That I didn't see the three of you head out together at 8 a.m., laughing and joking like you were the three musketeers, riding off to court to screw me over? Was it worth it, David? Was he a good enough fuck to make it worth selling me out?"

"I . . . I didn't . . . ."

"Don't lie to me!" Justin roared. "Don't you ever lie to me."

"I'm . . . not." It was so hard to force the words out, but he tried anyway. "It . . . it wasn't just a dream, was it? We . . . we were here before."

Justin sat up straighter, dropped his legs back to the floor and absently laid the book down as he leaned forward intently. "You finally remember."

David couldn't help noticing the cover of the book as Justin laid it down B "Treasure Island". Another stab of pain B this time through his heart B as he realized Justin had been reading the book they had shared so long ago to him as he lay unconscious on the floor. "Yes," he responded sadly. "I remember."

"Then you understand now . . . why I had to do it. You realize we were always meant to be together."

"I . . . ,"

But Justin wasn't listening. He was lost in his own memories. "Why did you do it, David? Why did you defy him like that? Nobody's ever done anything like that for me before and it was such a stupid thing to do. He would've killed you if Mark hadn't stopped him; you know that, don't you? And I didn't care if you did it. It wouldn't have hurt me. I didn't care. I loved you so much; I just wanted us to stay together forever."

David opened his mouth to say he didn't know what Justin was talking about, but suddenly the rest of the memory was there as though it had been dropped into his brain like a grenade. It might well have been because the repercussions of it were just as devastating.

He followed Mitch out of the bedroom, moving as carefully as he could to keep the pain at bay. He felt a stab of anger and resentment at Mike, knowing he had to suspect what was going on, how bad it was, but was ignoring it. He couldn't help the bitter thought that Mike was so enamored with his new little friend, he would have given Mitch, or allowed him to do, just about anything to keep the boy.

It had to be some terrible cosmic irony that the little redhead who had arrived with such a solemn face was now giggling and laughing as he and Mike wrestled on the floor in a tickling match. There'd been a time Mike had been like that with him and he'd never appreciated how good he'd had it then. It had been a big step down from the life he'd led before, but he'd never dreamed how much worse it could get.

He almost wished he could go back to being Mike's pet boy again, but he'd committed the ultimate sin, he'd dared to continue growing. The change in Mike's attitude toward him had been gradual, but it had been noticeable. Still it had been a horrible shock the day Mike had called him into the house they were living in at the time to find a little blond boy sitting in the man's lap. And he'd been totally unprepared when Mike told him to go into the bedroom and do whatever the man who was in there told him to. That had been almost a year before and there had been a lot of other men since then. But none as bad as this one. No wonder the little redhead was smiling and happy. He'd probably never had it this good before. Good was such a relative concept.

David moved automatically, trying to ignore the pain that radiated through his body. He laid down on the floor and settled himself into the pose Mike had suggested for the first picture. Mitch kneeled behind him and brushed his hand along his hip. He forced himself not to flinch or shiver at the touch as he listened to Justin erupt into a fresh gale of laughter beside him. He wanted to hate the kid, but he couldn't. None of this was his fault.

There were several more poses, then Mike said they were done. David slowly got to his feet but froze when he heard Mitch say something to Mike. He knew he had to have heard it wrong but the knot of fear in his stomach tightened even further.

"What do you mean, no?" Mitch snapped angrily. "Why not?"

"It wasn't part of our agreement," Mike responded unhappily.

"So we revise our agreement. What's the big deal? You need to be more flexible if you're really serious about all of us moving in together."

"I don't know," Mike wavered, clearly anxious not to derail their proposed alliance and possibly lose his new pet.

"Let them try. You can stop it if you really don't like it."

"NO!" The word erupted from David's mouth. The lump that filled his throat after the word escaped was so big it practically choked him, but it was too late to take it back. And he didn't want to even if he could. He'd been wondering all week why Mitch had been allowing him to sit and read to Jason every night. He'd thought it might be an act for Mike's sake, something to make him believe he was seriously considering Mike's ridiculous suggestion about them moving in together, but now he understood what the man's amused smiles as he'd watched the boys sitting together reading had really been all about.

"What did you say?" Mitch's voice was heavy with threat.

He was trembling violently but he forced the words out. "No! I won't do it!"

"You'll do whatever the hell I tell you to do," Mitch said in that low threatening voice as he grabbed him by the upper arm. "Now get down there on the floor with him."

"No!" The word barely croaked out of him.

Mitch still had him tightly by the arm. He saw the man's fist come flying toward his face, but there was no way to escape it. Pain rocketed through him as the blow connected and he staggered backwards not able to go far with the hand still tightening around his arm. "You will!" Mitch threw him on the floor beside Jason. "Now do it!"

"No!"

Mitch raised his hand again but Justin crawled over to David and put his arms around his neck. His voice quavered as he said, "It's okay. It doesn't hurt that bad. Just don't make him mad, please."

The younger boy's eyes were huge with fear, but David pushed him away, trying to battle his own terror and the little voice inside that was saying, 'Are you crazy? Don't provoke him any more. Just do what he wants. You heard the kid, he doesn't care.'

"I won't! You can't make me! I won't do it! I won't!"

Mitch's face was apoplectic with fury and David watched in abject terror as the man stalked toward him with both fists raised.

"STOP IT!" Mike was down on the floor beside them holding the sobbing redhead in his arms.

The look of stunned disbelief on the man's face stopped Mitch in his tracks -- but not for long. "Stop? You've got the nerve to tell me to stop? You guaranteed me he'd be obedient and do anything I told him to do, but he's done nothing but talk back and disobey me since the day we got here. If you're not going to teach him his place, I will!"

David was shocked when Mike stood his ground. "Our deal was neither of us would hurt the other's boy without permission. You don't have my permission."

Mitch was trembling with barely contained fury. "Is that so? If that's how you feel, then maybe we should forget this nonsense about moving in together and I should leave right now -- with Jason."

Mike looked down at the boy huddled in terror in his arms, then looked at David kneeling on the floor a short distance away. Shock and horror crossed his face as he realized the decision he was being forced to make.

David closed his eyes, already knowing what Mike's choice would be and waiting for the blows to fall because he didn't intend to give in. He knew he would probably die this time, but there was nothing left to live for anyway. Only more years of this pain and misery. He was so busy bracing himself for the anticipated attack he almost didn't hear Mike's words.

"Maybe you should."

David opened his eyes and looked at Mike in disbelief. The man's face was set in a stern, implacable line but his arms were still around Justin.

The bald man was staring at Mike too. "Come here, Jason."

Justin gave a small, frightened whimper and looked up at Mike with beseeching eyes.

Mike looked away from the boy, but David could see the effort it took. Then Mike finally let go of him. Justin stood there for a moment looking shocked and confused, then slowly crossed the room to Mitch. The man's dark, soulless eyes glared at Mike in fury for another long moment, then he grabbed the boy's arm and dragged him across the room to the bedroom. There was the sound of cursing and several loud bangs from the bedroom, then five minutes later they emerged fully dressed with their luggage in tow. Mitch had the redhead's arm in a death grip and dragged him out of the suite with tears running down his face.

David stayed on his knees on the floor, unmoving, not sure what he was supposed to do next.

After remaining frozen in the dazed silence that had filled the room at Mitch and Justin's abrupt departure for a few more minutes, Mike finally came over to him and kneeled beside him, reaching out a hand to tentatively touch his shoulder. "How badly did he hurt you?"

David forced himself not to flinch away from the touch, but tears swam in his eyes and he looked down at the floor without answering.

"Go get dressed, David. We're getting out of here."

"Why did you do it, David? Why? I never understood it. He would have killed you. You have to have known that."

The sound of Justin's voice jerked him out of the memory, which, unlike the previous ones where he'd felt a sense of detachment, as though he'd been watching all those terrible things happen to someone else, had felt real and substantial, as if it were actually happening to him right at that moment. Still caught in the emotional maelstrom the memory had stirred up in him, he could only answer numbly, "I kn . . . know. I wish he had."

"What? Why? Why would you say that?"

"Then I wouldn't have to be here again, like this."

Justin crawled over to him and plopped down beside him, staring down into his eyes. He gently reached out to caress the uninjured side of David's face. "I'm sorry I hit you, but you made me so mad. You really hurt me and I just wanted to hurt you back."

A tear slid down David's face as he got a closer look at Justin and realized that the words 'Coney Island, New York' were emblazoned over a scene of the amusement pier on the lovingly worn and faded t-shirt he was wearing. It wasn't the same design as the one on the shirts from nine years ago, but the very idea that it meant enough to Justin for him to have replaced it, filled him with sadness. Realizing he'd lost his focus and needed to respond to what Justin had just said, he forced out the simple truth, "You did."

Justin wrapped his arms around his legs and laid his head on his knees. "Why did you do it?"

David swallowed hard. Talking hurt so much, but he could feel the darkness closing in now and the words were the only things keeping it at bay. "He wanted me to do it so he could make me be like him. He wanted to make me a monster. But I never want to be like him. Not ever."

Justin sat quietly for a moment, continuing to stare down at him. "But I'm just like him, David, aren't I. I'm a monster, just like him."

David squeezed his eyes closed, fighting back the pain and the terrible sadness Justin's words evoked. "It's not your fault, Justin. Ms. Novak said you can go to a hospital instead of jail. There'll be doctors there who can help you. And they won't let anybody hurt you any more."

"No," Justin said numbly. "I don't want to go to prison and I don't want to be in any loony bin. I thought if I could just find you again everything would be all right. We could take care of each other, love each other."

"I'm sorry, Justin," David murmured, trying to fight the darkness that was settling around him.

"Don't you see, David? Nobody else can ever love us as completely as we'll love each other because we'll never have to keep any secrets. We can never tell any of them the complete truth. They wouldn't understand, and even if they tried, they wouldn't be able to comprehend it. We can tell each other everything, everything bad that happened and then the pain will finally go away. We won't have to keep it hidden inside any more. Then we can be normal - just like everybody else."

"Justin . . . ."

"You know he never forgot about you, David. He talked about you all the time. About how much he wanted you and what he was going to do to you when he got you back. He ranted and raved for months, and the whole time he took it out on me. I was never good enough for him. I was too small and scrawny and plain B an all around disappointment to him my entire life. The only time I was of any use was when he could trade me for somebody better. And you were the ultimate prize.

"It's so ironic that just when I thought he'd gotten over it, that he was going to give up his obsession with you, that damn newspaper came. I knew something was up the minute I saw the smile on his face. I don't think I ever saw him looking that happy before. Then I saw your picture and I knew he was going after you. You were finally free and he was going to steal you away and make you a prisoner again. I couldn't let that happen.

"So I watched and waited and kept feeding him more booze while he celebrated all day until he was so drunk he could hardly stand up. He told me he wanted us to go upstairs so he could practice all the things he was going to do to you when he got you back. I hated him so much for wanting to hurt us, but I was scared too. I was so sure he knew what I was planning, that he was just pretending not to know so he could punish me worse when I tried it, but it turned out to be so easy. When I got to the top of the stairs, I just turned around and pushed him as hard as I could. You should have seen the look on his face. He was so surprised. He couldn't believe I'd done it.

"Then he was at the bottom of the stairs and he was bleeding all over the floor. He moaned and twitched a couple of times, then he stopped. I sat there for a long time just staring at him, sure he was going to suddenly jump up and come after me like the monsters in those horror movies, but he didn't. Then it was morning. I went over and touched him to make sure he wasn't faking. His skin was so cold I knew he was really dead. Then I called for the ambulance, but it was too late. He was dead and both of us were finally free.

"I killed him to save you, David. I did it all to save you. Now it's your turn to save me."

"How?" David's voice was so weak it was barely audible.

"Just love me, David. That's all I want. That's all I ever wanted. Please just tell me you love me," Justin pleaded as he gently caressed David's cheek. "I know I can be a better person if you would just love me," he whispered as he leaned over to kiss him.