Chapter 4
Tobias and I returned to the forest from the mall, after ingesting a most pleasant human food called a 'hamburger'. Contrary to what any sensible person would think, a hamburger does not contain ham; it contains a meat called 'beef', which is acquired from an entirely different Earth animal than ham. Most Andalites would be driven to distraction by the nuances and subtleties of human mouth-sounds, and how no one word means one thing, or means what one would expect.
I was watching the television in my scoop while Tobias was out hunting for his evening meal, when I heard noises in the undergrowth outside.
I raised my tail up, ready to strike in case it was a foe, and I stepped outside, and thrust my tail down towards ― Rachel. I stopped by tail just in time, and Rachel nearly collapsed because of her wobbly human legs.
"Whoa!" Rachel exclaimed, holding her hands upward in a human expression of surprise. "You nearly took my head off!"
(That was not my intention,) I assured her, lowering my tail to the ground. (I was not expecting company. It is usually only Tobias and myself here during the evening.)
Rachel smiled at me, and walked past me into the scoop. She looked around, apparently discouraged by the absence of anything to sit on, and stayed standing.
I noticed immediately that Rachel seemed distant and somehow distracted. It was something I saw rarely in her. You see, when humans are nervous or occupied, they shuffle their feet around or avoid direct eye contact. Rachel was doing both of these things.
(What can I do for you, Rachel?)
"Is Tobias here?"
(He is hunting,) I replied.
"Already? We had dinner at the mall. How can he be hungry again?"
(Tobias hunts frequently in the evening, or so he says. I believe he is simply enjoying the pleasure of flying.)
Rachel nodded and made a small smile with her lips. "Ax?" she asked.
(Yes?)
"You think we're doing the right thing, don't you? Looking for this Yeerk murderer, I mean?"
Had I been human, I would most likely have winced at that point. It was a particularly difficult question to answer.
(We cannot allow innocent humans to be killed,) I said with as much conviction as I could muster. (Even if it means evil Yeerks are allowed to survive.)
"But how do we know these people are innocent? For all we know, they're voluntary hosts. How do we know?" Rachel asked, her voice shaking.
I was surprised by the sheer emotion in Rachel's voice. It was most out of character. Usually Rachel is the first of the Animorphs to suggest violent action. Obviously she was at odds with herself over this. I did my best to comfort her.
(In this case,) I said, (the Controllers get, as you humans say, 'the benefit of the doubt'.)
Rachel seemed satisfied by my response. She sat down on the dirt floor of the scoop, folded her rickety human legs, and looked up at me. I remained standing, of course. We Andalites do not like to sit down.
"I'm worried about this, Ax," she said sombrely. "I know that we have to fight the Yeerks, and that sometimes people have to die. That's what war is about, and we are at war. But everyone else seems to think I'm nuts."
(I do not believe you are small, crunchy fruit, Rachel,) I said, somewhat unsure as to why Rachel was called nuts by the others. (If you were an Andalite, you would be one of our most respected warriors. You are braver than I ever shall be. You are capable of acting in instinct, rather than orders. It is something I admire.) I turned the TV off. (I know people must die in war, Rachel. I have been trained my entire life to believe that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, but I am bound to Prince Jake's orders. If he says this murderer must be stopped, I am obligated to do as he wishes.)
"Jake isn't always right, Ax," Rachel said. "What do you think, Ax? Do you really think we should stop this killer? Or just wait until all the Yeerks are dead?"
I paused. What could I say? Of course I wanted every Yeerk to die, I wanted that more than anything, but I could not let innocent humans be killed simply because of my hatred. It is just as well that Prince Jake was my leader, rather than an Andalite. Any Andalite Prince, except perhaps Elfangor, would have allowed the slaughter to continue.
(I am bound to Prince Jake's orders,) I said weakly.
Rachel threw her hands up in the air, indicating that she was exasperated with me.
"Law of the jungle, Ax. Kill or be killed. If this thing is killing Yeerks, who are we to interfere? I still think they're getting what they deserve."
(Rachel, what if this creature were to kill Visser One? Marco would be most upset. Do you believe that Visser One's host would have 'got what was coming to her'?)
Rachel fell silent.
(It is not up to us to pass judgment over who lives and dies, Rachel. We have to do what we think is right, and let fate judge us for our actions.)
"Thanks, Ax," Rachel said. She got up and made her way just outside the scoop. The sun was nearly over the horizon. Darkness was descending on the forest.
"I'll call you when we hear anything from Erek," Rachel said, before disappearing into the trees.
(What was that all about?)
(Tobias?) I exclaimed in somewhat louder-than-usual thought speak.
(How long have you been here?)
(Long enough to know this is getting to the both of you,) Tobias replied, shuffling along a branch in a very natural bird motion. (You want to talk about it.)
(I am fine,) I lied. I was not fine. I was unused to people questioning the orders of their superiors. It is not the Andalite way. What I believe is irrelevant; it is what Prince Jake believes that is important. My beliefs are immaterial.
Aren't they?