Shimazaki Ryou considered himself to be one hell of a wingman.

"Really, booger, you call that a throw?" laughed Sho's little girlfriend. That was definitely a kid…and definitely a British kid. God. Shimazaki knew that, at some point in the future, he would develop a headache that would never pass no matter how many head rubs Toshi gave him. Why did they have to have that accent? He could think of ten different accent he would have rather had listened to…but he wasn't going to say anything, no, not to the only human being other than himself that Sho had ever shown any interest in at all.

That would have just been counterproductive.

A good wingman did not insult the woman his friend was into to her face…or rather little girl. Little taller than Mob. Crooked teeth. Shorter hair. Three hammer toes. Slight curve of her spine that maybe someone should have looked at…not that he was going to go around rating the appearance of girls Sho's age. No, that would have been wrong. Way too young for him…and even when she got older he'd stay the hell away from all of that. He'd never do Sho like that, first of all, and second of all he doubted that she'd grow up to be his type.

Well his type was all types…but not the types that were dating his eleven year old best friend.

"Well I was going easy on your because you're a girl but if you insist." Said Sho. Shimazaki felt him pick up what felt like an empty wine bottle. He followed the path it took throw the sky until it disappeared from his perceptions with a plop into the water. His little girlfriend put her hands on her hips and stuck her tongue out.

"Stop holding back. I'll never get better if you do." Said Sho's girlfriend. He felt her pick up a beer can and throw it. She was strong for a kid and she pitched it pretty far…though it was lighter than a wine bottle, so maybe it wasn't fair, not that Shimazaki was going to say anything. That would have been bad wingmanning. Gotta let the girl win. Like taking a girl to pachinko or….well not pachinko since that was mostly chance…more like…

Like the time he and Toshi played ski-ball!

Yeah, back then. Back when they'd first met…well not their first meeting but…their first non-work meeting. No mission just the two of them hanging out…and they said that there was no way that he could play ski-ball…how had they even….the bookstore! Right, he'd tagged along with Toshi when they went to a bookstore…that was also the first time they'd read to him about the hobbits….anyway they'd gone to ski-ball and he'd actually let Toshi win but they'd gotten pissed off and then…well then they'd won on their own…well he'd let them win again but he'd made it close….and then…

Six or seven years later here they were.

And here he was. God, the kid had finally found his Toshi…maybe. He didn't know exactly what was going on with Sho. He knew that this was a very serious relationship between two kids, Sho had bought a ring and everything, and he knew that Sho said that he wanted to be with this girl, that she was his most perfect person…so fucking adorable, but he also knew that Sho stared at him. Sho stared at him and his breathing and heartrate went up like he'd just gotten done running a marathon and he blushed and smiled and all of the things that he didn't do when he was near this girl. So Shimazaki….was at a loss…but also he knew that he couldn't jinx this. Sho needed to get over him, and he needed to do it soon, so this really was the best thing to happen to the both of them. Even if he got the feeling that Sho might have been lying to this little girl and himself…but he wouldn't say anything about that.

Because, really, a good wingman did not say such things…and also he didn't want to ruin the cuteness before him.

This really was the cutest shit that he had ever not seen….and maybe he needed to spend less time with Shibata….or something. He didn't normally care about cute things but this…God. This was so fucking cute. Sho and his little girlfriend, the one who smelled like pure sugar and formaldehyde for some reason, were having a tiny adorable date which involved throwing junk into the Thames. It was so cute and sweet and adorable that Shimazaki fully expected to end up with a mouth full of tooth rotting cavities by the time this was all over and done with. Two kids in love…it was so cute...and maybe he was just getting sentimental in his old age or something.

They grew up so fucking fast.

It felt like just yesterday he was tossing bird's nests at this kid and now he was off in the world with his own little girlfriend who he fully planned on marrying…and this was all Shimazaki's fault. God, so this was what true power felt like. Fuck Suzuki and his plans of being President of the world for life or whatever. The only true power that there was, the best kind of it, was being wingman to a couple of elementary schoolers. Thanks to him the Suzuki line would continue for another generation at last. Really he deserved some kind of reward for this…of course he was talking about Suzuki. His reward would be something like not getting his ass kicked as hard net time he did something to piss him off….which would be soon…

Because Sho was just begging to be picked up and thrown.

Not into the water, of course, because the kid had issues with that. Everyone who had been through those insane Awakening experiments did. No, Shimazaki would have picked him up, thrown him over the river, and then caught him at the last second. The kid would call him a bitch bastard or whatever new and exciting combination of curse words he came up with and then they'd have a good laugh and go back to throwing crap into the river. That would have been so much fun…but also bag wingmanship.

And he was, if anything, a very good wingman.

"Here, let me show you both how it's done." Said Shimazaki dusting off what little English skills he had. He picked up an empty beer bottle and threw it. He made sure that it didn't go farther than Sho's had, actually he made sure it went way too short. There. Now that was good wingmanning. Gotta build the kid up so his girlfriend would think he was the number one game in town and then they could get up to whatever it was that eleven year olds got up to these days. Probably not what he was getting up to at eleven…and that was probably for the best given how emotionally unstable Sho could be.

Not that Shimazaki was one to talk, of course.

"That sucked." Said Sho

"No! It went mad far it did. Sho's just being daft." Said Sho's little girlfriend. Shimazaki tiled his head up and shook his head. Eye rolling without the eyes.

"You don't have to spare my feelings, kid, I can take it." Said Shimazaki

"It did too go far. You just can't tell…can you? I mean I know that your other senses get better when you can't see so…do you have super hearing? Is that how you became a blind master?" asked Sho's little girlfriend.

"Yeah, I can hear like a bat." Said Shimazaki with a laugh. That…wasn't too far off. He could click his tongue and get around somewhat, though he hadn't had to do that since he had been VERY young. His powers had fully came in when he was about thirteen or fourteen and then, well, that skill had fallen by the wayside. Not that he would tell Sho's girlfriend that. No, she had no idea about the whole esper thing and Shimazaki was not going to be the one to tell her. Sho knew better than to say anything, too, which really did not bode well for the longevity of this adorable little relationship. Secrets were relationship killers.

That was why he didn't have any.

Toshi knew everything about him and he knew everything about Toshi. Not that he had secrets. He was an open book. Toshi was just the only person who had ever sat down and read his book. They had sat down one day and just….read. They knew everything. He had told them everything. They had heard it all and then, at the end of it, they had just gotten up and poured him a drink…and that had been that. Toshi had let him read their book too and it wasn't nearly as bad as his…but they had still be surprised that he had sat there and read the whole thing. Relationships, real ones, were based on trust…and there couldn't be trust when there were secrets….

But that was a talk for later.

"He can hear pudding. Like, if you open a cup of pudding in another room he'll be able to hear it and then he'll be all 'you gotta pay the pudding tax' and then he'll take it from you and-" Sho was going on and on and on about him. Nope. A good wingman stopped his best friend from…all of that. Sho was a gret kid and he could feel however he wanted to feel and all of that other stuff but, maybe, in the interest of the longevity of his relationship he maybe should not have been singing soeone else's priseslike that.

Especially not another guy's.

Shimazaki knew how the world was. Shos' girlfriend loved him, he could tell, and he wanted her to continue to love him…and she might not have been alright with the whole 'bi and in love with his best friend thing' and really Sho did not need that kind of rejection in his life. Also if he had no girlfriend then he could just fall deeper into…whatever this was….with Shimazaki. Yeah…Sho was eleven now and he was getting taller and he smelled terrible if he went one day without a bath….so that terrible time in life was coming and any feelings that he had for Shimazaki would…well it would be like if he took his feelings to an all you can snort coke buffet….

So maybe having a girlfriend would be best for those years between the age of about twelve to….life.

"How far did that one go?" asked Shimazaki as he purposely threw an empty can at Sho. It hit him on the head, hopefully it knocked some sense into him. His aura shrieked there…and he really hoped that it didn't go into that spectrum where normal people could see it…otherwise Shimazaki had a lot more sense to knock into him than that.

"It went pretty bloody far." Said Sho's girlfriend with a laugh.

"How bloody far?" asked Shimazaki trying his best to imitate her accent. He had to distract her from questioning just why her boyfriend had been waxing poetic about his thirty one year old best friend.

"Across the whole bloody river." Said Sho's girlfriend

"Well in that case then, bloody hell." Said Shimazaki

"You hit me in the fucking head…and you know that you hit me in the fucking head." Said Sho

"You did hit him in the fecking head." Said Sho's little girlfriend.

"Well 'feck' me then." Said Shimazaki

"Yeah, fuck you." Said Sho. He said it in Japanese that time. He was slipping. He was pissed off enough to slip. He wasn't getting into Japanese to spare his girlfriend the horror of his atrocious language.

"What's 'shin-in' mean?" asked Emmy

"It essentially means fuck you….or rather 'feck you' to you limeys." Said Shimazaki

"Hey! I'm not a limey, I'm a mick. If you're going to insult me then at least do it right." Said Sho's girlfriend. She said it with that little giggle that girls her age sometimes did when they were interested. That little 'oh you're so funny' giggle that he was NOT going to do anything with. She was Sho's girlfriend, she was younger even than Mob, and he doubted that when she did grow up she'd end up nearly as hot as he figured Mob would end up being. Nope, not interested at all.

Now if only he could tell Sho that.

"Shimazaki, shut the fuck up." Said Sho. Well someone was full of barely contained jealous rage. That was…well he hoped to God that he was about to be accused of trying to mess around with his girlfriend. He hoped that Sho had seen fit to take some of his never ending jealousy supply and share it with his girlfriend….but of course Shimazaki knew that he wasn't such a lucky man.

"Sho! Be nice…you can't say that to your mate…also he's blind. You've got to say feck. It's more polite." Said Sho's little girlfriend. She whispered that last part. Shimazaki had always wondered about that. People whispered when they talked about him and often spoke really slowly and clearly to him like he couldn't hear or whatever. Sighted people were weird as fuck…and this was coming from him.

"I…I'm sorry. I won't curse if it bothers you. Do you want to throw more stuff in the river now? Or do you want to go and do something else?" asked Sho. Well then. His entire…self…had changed there. Shimazaki had known Sho since he had been eight and he had never known him to just turn off the explosive rage and paranoid jealousy like that. Maybe he was finally growing up. Sun rise…sun set…is this the little boy I carried….

Great. Now he wanted to listen to Fiddler.

"I want to spend more time with you…but I have to go home now. My mum's going to send my sister out looking for me if I'm not back before supper…and I'm not allowed to have a boyfriend or be this close to the river so…see you tomorrow? I mean you'll still be here…right? I mean…you're not moving again…right?" asked Sho's girlfriend. Her voice was brimming with hope…and if he'd ben Shibata he would have been a sobbing mess. So…much…cuteness. God, he couldn't wait until Toshi came around and they had some little people around who could do cute stuff…well 'if' Toshi ever came around…but that was alright. He could just enjoy the little person he had now.

While he was still a little person that is.

"We're moving but not until after the holidays. Dad hates moving around Christmas time because of the end of the last quarter work or something. I'll see you tomorrow and we can throw more stuff in the river and stuff….or whatever you want." Said Sho. He was perfectly calm…and his girlfriend wasn't at all. She was smiling at him and leaning in close….and nothing from Sho. Shimazaki decided to be a good wingman and turn his back to this. Let the little people have a moment of privacy. He pulled out his phone and pretended to mess around on it….and it took him a minute to remember to go screen side up….

A minute which Sho's girlfriend used.

That was adorable as hell. She kissed him and he…well he was acting like he wanted to run away…but maybe that was just because he was still such a little kid…or maybe he didn't have feelings at all for his girlfriend and he was just using her to fulfill someone else's idea of what a little boy should have been and now his entire life would be a lie until he got caught with another guy in an apartment he kept in the bad part of the city for the express purposes of hooking up when he was supposed to be away on business and then his wife left him and blamed his lover and then hatched a plan and-

-and maybe Sho would know better than to make the same mistakes as many a closeted businessman during golden week had made before him….or something.

"We can do whatever you want…and I'll see you tomorrow….um….bye!" said Sho's girlfriend before he ran away. Shimazaki could hear the jingle of her boot buckets as she ran away. He could barely hear her over the shrieking of Sho's aura. There. That was the angry little rage child that Shimazaki knew and parentally loved.

"What the hell was that!?" asked Sho as he pushed Shimazaki with both hands. Shimazaki let himself get pushed back just to make him feel better about himself.

"The fact that you just pushed me?" asked Shimazaki with a laugh. He had no clue what Sho was on about.

"No, before that!" said Sho. Oh, well now he knew…and he wasn't going to get into whatever it was that Sho thought.

"Oh. Well that, my young friend, was called a kiss. That's what happens when a girl likes you. She kisses you and then-" said Shimazaki. That got him another kiss. This time he didn't let himself get shoved. No need to give Sho an inflated sense of self. Nope. The world did not need another Suzuki on it's hands.

"You know what I meant! Why were you talking to Emmy like that?!" asked Sho. Shimazaki shook his head. Well there was that jealousy again…but it was going the wrong way!

"I was just being friendly, alright? I'm not going to mess around with your girlfriend. I would never do that to you. Friends don't do that to each other. Friends. Good friends like we are. Best friends…and also she's your age and contrary to what certain pieces of shit think I don't go that young. Never anyone younger than a teenager." Said Shimazaki. He flicked Sho over the head in an attempt to knock some sense into him. Maybe the time was coming to have the 'rip his heart out and show it to him talk' like Toshi had been saying for all of these years…but then Sho would have been sad and Shimazaki couldn't stand sad people….

So maybe just…keep letting it run it's course…yeah…that was a good plan.

"Yeah…fine….I know you wouldn't do shit like that to me and I know that Emmy isn't like that and…whatever! Let's just…let's go home…and…um…do stuff like…um…do you want me to hold your eye cleaner for you again? I mean you haven't had me do that in a while and you said that if you skipped too many days then you got infections…and Fukuda could fix them but you don't like him anymore…"said Sho. Shimazaki shook his head. He knew exactly why Sho wanted to help him clean out his eyes and it had nothing to do with the bottomless well of concern that was deep in his heart.

"Nah, Serizawa helped me with that earlier. I have never seen, well I've never seen anything, but man was he freaked the fuck out. I wish you'd been there. He-" said Shimazaki

"I would have been there if you'd let me! I mean if I was asleep or something then…then you should have woken me up! You…you just….wake me up next time!" shouted Sho

"You were out with…you know what? How about you help me out again today? How's that sound?" asked Shimazaki. Sho may have been a year older but he was the same old kid that he had always been. The same old jealous little…it didn't matter. He'd grow out of it…or something. He didn't know. All he knew was that Sho was starting to get sad and he couldn't stand people who were sad…especially when those people were Sho. It didn't suit him. Shimazaki would have to fix this.

"…sounds good…but you don't need his help…because you have me." Said Sho. Shimazaki sighed. This wasn't getting any better….but it wasn't getting any worse…so there. That was…something.

"Right. I have you…and you got me…so let's get to work." Said Shimazaki. This kid…he loved this kid, he really did, but sometimes he could be a little…much. But that was what it was to have a kid. Sometimes they were a little too much. Sometimes they drove you crazy. Sometimes they made you question the very nature of existence. That was…well…how it went.

He loved this kid.

He loved this kid like his own kid and this was how it went when you had a kid. Not that Sho was his or anything but…well he loved him. He loved him enough to put up with all of this. The jealousy and unrequited love and…ok, not the stuff that he would have to put up with from his own kid…hopefully not. That would have been pretty fucking weird…so maybe he wasn't anything close to a parent to Sho…

But that was ok. He was a pretty damn good wingman.