Sho should not have been relieved.

Because, really, he was supposed to be a good boyfriend and this was not way that a good boyfriend was supposed to feel. He knew how he should have felt in this situation. He knew that he should have been mad enough to break stuff or sad enough to cry or just…anything other than relieved. This was a sad thing, he was supposed to be sad, or eve mad, but no matter how deeply he dug down into himself, down into the guts of his feels, he couldn't feel anything other than a hell of a lot of relief.

He sucked.

"Did you understand what?" asked Emmy

"Yeah, I did. I speak English you know." Said Sho. That came out meaner than he had meant it to .He hadn't meant for it to come out meanly at all. He was just…mad. Not at her, she was his girlfriend and you couldn't ever be mean to your girlfriend, and not at the situation. No…he was mad at himself. He was mad at himself for how he felt and…well now he had more feelings but not the ones that he was supposed to have right now in this situation.

"Sorry, I just know that you mostly speak Japanese. I just meant….well I really am sorry to go but my mum said that I have to see dad after we see gran and I haven't seen him in a while…and I am sorry. I really am." Said Emmy

"It's ok. You have to do what you have to do. I move around a lot too…I get it." Said Sho. He shouldn't have felt the way that he felt. He shouldn't have been happy that she was going off to see her dad, because she was his girlfriend and also because dads sucked, but he was. He should have said something like he'd move to where she was going or that he'd cry and cry and cry all night every night that she was gone or that he'd kick down a wall or a house or something because he was so mad that she was gone but…

He was just…happy that he wouldn't have to see her for a while.

"I'll be back…and I hope that you're here when I come back." Said Emmy. She was looking up at him and she was smiling and…and he just…she seemed sad. She was smiling even though she was sad….and of course she was sad. She was in love with him! She was in love with him and he wasn't in love with her and…and he knew that the way that he felt didn't matter just so long as she was happy but…well…he was lying to her. He knew that you had to make choices like this sometimes, that sometimes the choices you made meant that you had to lie, and he knew that it was ok to lie to someone if it was a pragmatic choice…

He also knew that pragmatic choices sucked.

"I hope so too but I can't make any promises." Said Sho. He should have been making promises. He should have been promising her that he would be there when she came back even if he had to say behind once everyone else left. He should have said that but he didn't. He didn't want to be alone without Shima-without his friends and his family and stuff. He didn't even want…well there were a lot of things that he didn't even want…and he was such a jerk…even when he wasn't being one he was a jerk.

"I know that you can't….and I'm sorry." said Emmy. She pulled her hat down when she said that. She was wearing a hat and not a helmet because it was cold out. It was cold enough to see their breath and maybe she should have gone inside someplace before she got sick…and now he was being even more of a jerk than he had been before. He just…he had to be better than he was being now. He had to be better for her. He wasn't dad.

He had to be better than that.

"Sorry? What are you sorry about?" asked Sho as he pulled her hat up over her eyes. She looked up at him and she smiled again. She smiled at him a lot…and he knew why she did that. She did that because she liked him and…it was like there was a goldfish or something in his stomach but not a love goldfish. This was one of those 'Sho, you're a dick hole' goldfish…and this one was new. He wished that the love goldfish would come out right now. He knew that he shouldn't have not felt it and he just…

He wished that he could have been born normal.

But he wasn't normal. He wasn't normal and he just…well there were a lot of people in the world like that…like the way that he was. He wasn't the only person in the world like himself and he just…he was different enough as it was! He had red hair and blue eyes and enough freckles to play connect the dots with and his powers had taken too long to come in and…and now he had to be like this!? Why did he have to be so…so…so different!? He just…he had to calm down. He had to calm down and stop thinking about himself. His girlfriend was here and, yeah, he wasn't in love with her or anything like that but he still cared about her as a person and stuff and just…he had to think about her.

He brushed the hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear like he'd seen Shimazaki do for Minegishi sometimes.

"Thanks…and I'm sorry about…because…because of how….of how I feel. I don't know. I'm daft. I'm just…it makes me cross how you always have to leave…that's all. I mean I know that this time I'm the one leaving you and if anyone is going to be cross then it's you-" said Emmy

"You mean mad, right? Cross means mad?" asked Sho

"It's means angry." Said Emmy

"So mad then?" asked Sho

"No, mad means mental." Said Emmy

"I thought that mental meant dumb." Said Sho

"No, mental means daft." Said Emmy

"And daft is what you call people who piss you off." Said Sho

"I've never been pissed, I'm ten…wait. No, you meant cross again." said Emmy

"….my head hurts." Said Sho

"Mine too…" said Emmy. She said that and then she laughed. Sho laughed too even though he wasn't all the way sure what it was that they were even laughing at. This didn't seem like something that was funny. She was upset that she was going…and he was relieved. Happy even. If she was gone then he wouldn't have to do the boyfriend thing for a while…and if he didn't have to do the boyfriend thing for a while then he wouldn't have to give her this ring…and also he could just forget that he even had a girlfriend for a while.

Which meant that he sucked as a human being.

He really did. He was such a dick to her…well he had never acted like a dick to her but…he still got the feeling that he was being a total dick to her. Because he didn't like her the way that she liked him. She liked him and…and he liked her. As a friend. As this girl who was kind of cool and fun to hang out with and just…he didn't know a lot of people and she was one of the people that he knew and he didn't want her to go away but…he just…

He didn't want to be her boyfriend!

But he was her boyfriend. He was her boyfriend whether he liked it or not. He was her boyfriend because he had to be. He needed a girlfriend and she was the coolest girl that he had ever met in his life so…why not? She was happy. He made her happy. He had to keep on making her happy. He only felt like a complete and total dick hole because he just…didn't feel the same way about her but…

Well she liked him, he made her happy, and that was what mattered.

"I'll try and be here when you come back, ok? But I can't make any promises because my dad is the one in charge of where we go and when we go and shit…because he's the bossiest guy in the world and shit…and just…I'll try and be here and…um….I have a Christmas present for you." Said Sho. He felt his backpack straps with one hand and the rung in his pocket in the other. He could have given her the ring…that would have made her happy but…well…he already had a petrified eyeball for her and…well two presents would have been too much or…

Or something.

"Wait! I've got a present for you too! Just….I mean I'll to see you tomorrow like usual but it's school holidays for me right now and my mum wants me around the house more and the sun goes down really early and…well…here! Happy Christmas!" said Emmy. She reached into the pocket of her arm jacket and pulled out….a necklace? With a yellow thing at the end?

Well that was….a present.

"Thanks for the necklace." Said Sho as he took it from her. He held it and…well that was a gift. From a girl. That was more like a gift for a girl but…well it was cool. The big yellow glob thing was…cool.

"Look at it in the light, see?" said Emmy. The sun was going down and the streetlights were coming on, and that meant that she would have to go home soon, and he should have been more excited about seeing what was up with her present and not about her going home….but he just…

He felt the way he felt!

"That's cool…wait…is that a lizard?! A real one?" asked Sho. There, in the yellow stuff, was a tiny lizard. Hopefully not a dead baby one, because that would have been sad, but maybe it died of natural causes or something or just…hadn't been killed by people. He didn't know how he felt about that. On the one hand he was never going to stop eating meat and animals had to die to make meat but on the other hand it was sad to kill animals for clothes and stuff….but maybe this lizard had died of old age or something. Lizards never lived for very long anyway and….well he knew that he should have felt bad for the lizard but he was mostly just happy to have this necklace thing….

Because it was so fucking cool!

"Emmy, this is so fucking cool!" said Sho. He put it around his neck. This was cool and she was cool and she just-

She kissed him.

Ok. That was…he was less happy now but…well she hadn't chased him and kissed him…and she hadn't even kissed him on the mouth. That would have been too much. She kissed him on the cheek and that was ok and…well she could have kissed him on the mouth if she'd wanted to. She was his girlfriend. She could kiss him whenever she felt like it. That was one of the main points of being in a relationship, the kissing and stuff, and he just…he was good at the boyfriend thing and part of being good at the boyfriend thing was letting his girlfriend kiss him….and stuff.

He hadn't minded…that much.

"I'm glad that you liked it. I was out with my mum and…well she thinks that it was for me but…well I saw it and I thought that the color would go nice with your hair and eyes and…and also I thought that you'd like it since you like animals. They had bugs in amber too but…well I thought that you'd like a reptile better." Said Emmy. She was smiling at him now…and his face felt sticky where she'd kissed him. Her lips were all shiny…oh. She was wearing lip stuff like big sis wore sometimes. That was…ok. She was trying to look pretty and stuff for him and…and also she wanted to kiss him…and they'd kissed before.

He had no reason to feel like this.

They'd kissed before. He had no idea why it would be different now. Maybe because she used to always ask him or wait for him to ask her…or maybe because she'd never worn lip stuff before…and also she hadn't wanted to kiss as much, before, as she wanted to now and…he didn't know. All he knew was that she was smiling at him and playing with her gloved and…and he just…

He had to give her the stupid eyeball thing.

"Here, this is for you!" said Sho. He practically ripped it out of his backpack and shoved it into her arms. Maybe he had been kind of mean there. Maybe he had been kind of a jerk…or whatever. He didn't know. He had barely realized what he had been doing until he had actually done it. She didn't seem to be upset with him or anything. No.

She didn't seem to be much of anything.

She was holding the jar now and she was staring and…and maybe everyone had been right. Every single person that he knew had told him that getting her a jarred eyeball wasn't a good idea…they had said that it was creepy and gross and macabre…and he had no idea what macabre even meant but he got the idea that it wasn't a good thing….but he had told everyone that he knew his own girlfriend and he knew what she would have liked and he knew her and…and maybe he had been wrong. Maybe he had been so wrong that she would….would go. Girls did that. They just left you. He…he wasn't in love with her and he didn't really want to kiss her and…and he didn't want her gone either. Not even because he would have to find himself a new girlfriend….he just…she was the coolest girl that he had ever met and he just…she was his friend!

She was the only friend that he had who was his own age…who wasn't his sister.

The only girl that he had ever hung out with was his sister…and he used to think that every single girl in the world was like her. She liked makeup and dolls and hated gross stuff. Emmy didn't like dolls and she never wore…well now she wore makeup…and she liked gross stuff. Unless she'd changed her mind. Unless she decided that she didn't like gross stuff anymore and now she would change and be like his big sis and…well he loved his big sis….but Emmy had never been like big sis before and….well he would still like Emmy….

But he really felt like he'd fucked up there.

"Sho…." said Emmy. Sho closed his eyes and braced himself. She was going to tell him that the present that he had gotten her was stupid and she didn't like it and she just never wanted to see him again and then he would be out a friend and….and it would hurt and he wouldn't have any choice but to live with it and-

And he could deal with this…whatever this was.

"I just…" said Emmy. Sho nodded. He waited for her to say what it was that she wanted to say. Maybe she was going to try and tell him that she didn't like him anymore in Japanese. She spoke…well she tried to speak…Japanese. She sometimes said things in Japanese, and sometimes the things she said made sense, and sometimes he spoke back to her in Japanese too….but he really wanted to hear it from her in English. He knew English but her English was weird and…well he didn't always understand her and if she was going to tell him that he sucked he would have been happy just…not totally understanding her.

Please let her say it in English.

"This is the most brilliant thing anyone has ever gotten me and I think that I'm in love with you." Said Emmy. She said it really quietly like she was worried someone would hear her even though there wasn't anyone around. He didn't get it. That was all that she had to say? All of that build up for that? That was just….of course she loved him. She was his girlfriend. That was how girlfriends were. They were in love with you and you were…you were supposed to be in love with them…but he wasn't in love with her…

But that didn't matter.

"I love you too, Emmy. I'm glad you like your present." Said Sho. He felt….weird…tell her that. He knew what kind of love she had meant and he knew what kind of love he was supposed to mean and…and telling her that had just been…weird. So weird. He had said it before but…he'd meant it. He'd been really messed up then but he'd said it…to Shimazaki…and Shimazaki had thought that he'd meant it as a friend and…and Emmy didn't think that at all and he just…

He had to do what he had to do…and what he had to do was be a good boyfriend to Emmy.

"I….um….I've never been in…I mean…um…I love you too! I mean…now I'm being daft you know that just…um…can I kiss you?" asked Emmy. Oh. Well that was nice. Now she was asking again. Good. He hated it when girls just came out and kissed him. Why did they do that? Ok, they had done that back when he'd been little but…well he had never liked it. Girls just liked him for some reason. They'd always liked him….and he'd never liked them back…but he just…he wished that he could have liked them. He wished that Emmy, his girlfriend, would make the goldfish in his stomach swim half as fast as it did when he just THOUGHT about Shimazaki.

"Sure." Said Sho. He leaned forward and she just…stayed where she was for some reason. She was standing there and digging her boot into the ground and looking down…and he didn't get it. She had just asked if they could kiss and now he was ready to kiss her but she was just….standing there….

Girls were weird sometimes.

"Um….can you….I mean….I like it when you kiss me! I mean I like it when I kiss you but um…can you…um….when you kiss me can you sort of….I guess hold onto me? Like in films? I mean…I don't know…just…I've thought about it before. Just….you tell me that you love me and then you pull me close and you kiss me and…and I know that it's daft but it's just…sometimes I think about that." Said Emmy. Sho got it. He got what she meant. Like when he would lay away at night and think about Shimazaki pulling him close and telling him that he was the coolest person in the world and then kissing him like he kissed Minegishi. Emmy thought about him like that. When she thought about him she felt the same goldfish feeling in her stomach that he did…and she wanted to do goldfish stuff with him….and he had to because he was her boyfriend.

He could do this.

"Sure." Said Sho. His voice came out really high there for some reason. He'd figure out why later. Right now….right now he had stuff to do. He got closer to her, she put her present down, and then…well he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He wasn't a big fan of movies with kissing in them, actually they were kind of boring, but he…well he'd seen Shimazaki kiss Minegishi…the thought makes him want to run away and break stuff….but he ignores his feelings as best as he can. He tries to look happy, Emmy's watching him right now and if he looked upset then she'd get upset, and he leaned in and…well Shimazaki sometimes held Minegishi by their waist like this…

Emmy was really red now so he must have been doing something right.

He thinks back to all the times he's seen people kissing in his life….and his brain decides to torment him by making him remember the time he caught mom and dad kissing. He had been really little…he couldn't even remember how little….but mom and dad had been on their bed and dad had touched mom's face like this…and he was not going to give dad credit for this even though it was obviously right since Emmy sighed…and now all he had to do was pull in close and…

And her lips were way too sticky.

Her lips were sticky and they tasted like…well kind of like…maybe he was imagining the citrusy taste. The spot, the sticky spot, on his cheek was kind of itchy and…well maybe that was just him being weird….or maybe he was going to die. That would have made sense. Liars got punished and he'd lied to his girlfriend and now he was going to die and…and he was itchy. This was not in his head. He was itchy.

He pulled away from her.

"That was…the best kiss that I've ever had in my life…" said Emmy. Her eyes were closed and she was still leaning forward and…and now he could smell it. Sort of citrusy and…bubblegum? He wasn't imagining the citrus, that was the point. This was not in his head and now he had to leave before he died and…and he should not have been relieved that he had to leave but…

Well it was ok to be relieved that he wasn't going to die…if he got back to Fukuda fast enough.

"Yeah…me too….but….I have to go now. It's not you! Just…remember how I said that I was allergic to citrus? I think that your lip makeup stuff has citrus in it." Said Sho

"Citrus? But this is tropical bubblegum….oh no! I've killed you! Hang on, there's an accident and emergency not far from here and-" said Emmy

"No, no, I'm going to be fine. I just have to go home…but I'm going to be fine so…um…Happy Christmas." Said Sho. He kissed her again, even though it burned, and then he made his way home. The way home hadn't ever taken this long before, not that he could remember, but…well he would rather have been walking home with his eyes burning and his throat closing up and his whole skin getting those hives things than to have had to have been there with his girlfriend for even a minute longer…

He was glad that she hadn't followed him, too….and he shouldn't have been.

He shouldn't have been glad, relieved, to have…well for any of this to have happened. For him to be dying of an allergic reaction. For him to have had the perfect excuse to get away from her. For any of this. He should have been sad or mad to have been away from her, to have had to leave her like that, and because he might never have gotten the chance to see her again….for a while. He should have been a lot of things but….he was mostly relieved…

He wished that he could have been something else, anything else, even as freaked out as Fukuda was right now.

"Sho! Oh my God…you're going to be fine!" said Fukuda. Sho knew that he was going to be fine. So what if breathing was kind of very hard? And his skin felt like the time he fell into a fire ant hill? And his eyes were all watery like he was crying. Fukuda could fix anything…and he did.

In ten second Sho was fine.

"Thanks." Said Sho as soon as he could talk again. That hadn't been so bad, not like the time he'd ate that grapefruit anyway, and now he was back to normal. He didn't know what Fukuda was still so freaked out about. He knew that he could heal. He at least understood why Emmy had been so freaked out. She had never seen that before, probably, and…well maybe he should have told her that he was allergic to kisses…but then that would have been unfair and stuff to her…since she was in love with him at all….

But he didn't want to think about that.

He didn't want to think about how she just…was in love with him. She loved him. She had said and meant it. She had meant it. She had meant that she was in love with him. She had said that…and she had meant it…and he should have been happy or at least ok with it….he should have been ok with it because….he was just…she thought that he was normal and for her he should have at least pretended to be normal and….

And he had this ring for her anyway so…so yeah!

"You're got to be more careful! Do you have any idea how terrified I was for you?! You know that you're allergic to-Sho? Sho….I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm sorry." said Fukuda. He knelt down so he and Sho were at eye level even though they were in the genkan…well the rug that was there for them to take their shoes off on. Sho didn't know what he was so worried about. Sho had barely even noticed that he'd been yelling at him.

He had enough on his mind as it was.

"Sho? Hey, what's wrong?" asked Fukuda. He brushed Sho's hair from his forehead…big sis would make him take a bath since he had been that sweaty. Great. Something else that Sho would have to worry about.

"Nothing." Said Sho. He didn't even know what he was supposed to say there. Being upset was just…it was stupid. It made no sense. He was supposed to be Emmy's boyfriend and with that came with her being in love with him…and it shouldn't have felt weird. Him saying it to her. Her saying it to him. If he didn't have to say it to her then he would just end up having to say it to some other girl at some point so…so it didn't make any sense. Whatever it was that he felt.

"I really am sorry that I yelled at you." Said Fukuda. He was still at Sho's level and he really was sorry and…and he had nothing to be sorry about. Sho was the one who was supposed to be…well not supposed to be…but he was…he just…he was sorry. He was sorry about…stuff….and he had no idea why he even felt sorry. She wanted him to love him back. She wanted him to say it back.

So then why did he feel like crap because he said it back?

"I know…I didn't even notice just…" said Sho. He felt like crap and…well he should have felt…not good but…normal? He had said it before, and he'd meant it, and he'd wanted…he wanted he wanted to be able to say it and mean it to someone else…not just Shimazaki but…well yes to Shimazaki but…just…

Yes to someone he meant it to.

"Sho, come on. You can talk to me about anything." Said Fukuda. Sho wished that it was true. He wished that there had been some way that he could just…say it. Say everything that he was feeling…but he didn't know all the words for it even. The way that he just…he wished that he could…not take it back but…make it real? But it wasn't real and it couldn't be real because…well because if it was going to be real then he would have been able to just…make it real. He was eleven. He was eleven and he just…he wished…

He wished that he could have just…been different or just…known what to…to say…

"I just….here. My girlfriend got me this." said Sho. He reached under his shirt and pulled out the necklace that Emmy had gotten him. She had gotten him this and…and he did like it and…and he just…this was how it had started…or maybe it had started last year…or maybe it had started the first time, back in preschool, when a girl had chased him and kissed him…or something.

"Well that's…that's nice. Are you upset because the lizard had to die? Because-" said Fukuda

"No, I'm not sad about that. This lizard probably died on it's own, they don't live for very long anyway. I just…my girlfriend said that she loved me. That she's in love with me. That she…she's in love me and I know that she's supposed to be in love with me and….and I should have just given her the stupid ring and…and I just…why can't I be normal!?" asked Sho. That had come out wrong…or maybe it had come out right…or maybe just…he had no idea what it was that he even wanted to say. He just…he wished that he could have been born right. For his entire life he had wished that he could have been born like everyone else. He wished, had wished for his entire life, the he had black hair and brown eyes…and then later on that he had powers…and now that he just…could like his girlfriend like he was supposed to. He just…

Why did he have to be…like this?

"Sho, no, you are normal." Said Fukuda. No. Not this again. Fukuda was always telling him that he was normal…and maybe he was. There were people in the world who looked like him…and he had his powers….and there were plenty of guys who liked other guys like he did….but he just…why did he have to be this way?! Why did he have to be like this? Why did he have to be so different? Fukuda didn't get it. He was normal. He had always been normal. Sho…he had never been normal. Ever.

He had never bene normal for even a single day in his life.

"No I'm not! I just…I know about pragmatic choices and…and how it doesn't matter how I feel if she's happy and how I have to do all of this stuff and…and I just…I wish that I was normal! I wish that I was like everyone else!" said Sho. Fukuda would never get it. Nobody would ever get it. Nobody would ever…he knew that…he knew that there would never be anyone in the world who got it. He just…he wasn't ok with who he was. He wished that he could have been more like Shimazaki. He could do whatever he wanted and when people told him that he was weird and wrong and stuff…well then he just told them to fuck themselves….but Sho didn't have that option. Sho was just…he was just…

He was who he was.

"Sho…no. You're…you're normal. You're only ten-eleven. You're only eleven now and I think that…you're maybe getting ahead of yourself when it comes to her. I think that you're going too fast and…and nothing good comes from going too fast." Said Fukuda. Sho had no idea what he meant. Sho…he was going at the right speed! He was doing what he had to do. He was going to do what he had to do and…and what would waiting help? No matter how much he waited he would always be…Sho. He would never, ever, ever stop being himself no matter what happened or how much time passed.

"But….I'm doing what I'm supposed to do! I'm supposed to grow up and get married and-" said Sho Fukuda shook his head. He shook his head and stood up…and Sho didn't get it.

"When you grow up. Exactly. You are eleven years old and…just be eleven for a while. Yes, you have a lot to do when you grow up but just…be a kid for a little bit, alright?" said Fukuda. Sho…was very tired. He couldn't explain it and he was too tired to try…so he'd stop.

"But…ok….I guess." Said Sho. He just…he wanted to lay down and just…sleep. Or whatever. He just…this whole thing was just…tiring. Not that he would tell Fukuda that he was tiring. No. That was dad's word.

"Good. Now come on, how about we hang out for a little bit? We can watch a Christmas movie and eat those cookies you like. The ones that are mostly frosting. How's that sound?" asked Fukuda. That sounded pretty fucking good. Fukuda…he may have been a secret teller but…well that was then and this was now. Sho…he didn't want to go home because big sis would be there and she would make him take a bath and have dinner…and dad would be there and he would say something mean or worse…he'd take an interest in Sho's life. The others…his friends…he was too tired to hang out with his friends. Especially not Shimazaki. He just…couldn't hang out with Shimazaki right now.

Fukuda was good for hanging out with right now.

"Sounds good…but I want a soda too…two sodas…and eggnog!" said Sho. He didn't really like eggnog that much but it did make him feel good. Not sick like liquor and it didn't taste as bad as beer. Sometimes you just needed a little pick me up, Shimazaki had said so, and even big sis said that it was ok just so long as he used moderation.

Fukuda, of course, disagreed with big sis.

He disagreed with her about everything. Sometimes Sho thought that Fukuda just disagreed with her for the sake of disagreeing with her. He had no idea why Fukuda didn't get along with her. Maybe because she was a girl. Maybe he just never grew out of thinking that girls sucked…or maybe because he was a grumpy old man now. Sho didn't know. He wasn't going to ask.

He was way too tired to get into all of that.

"Soda yes, eggnog no. I only have the adult stuff and you are way too young for that." Said Fukuda. Sho wasn't going to fight about this with him. There was plenty of eggnog over at Shimazaki's house…not that he'd be going there anytime soon. Not until he felt…better…or until he just…stopped feeling the way that he felt. He wished that he knew just…how to make it stop…but he couldn't. He had no idea how to make it stop so…

So maybe he could just…live with it?

Maybe he could just learn to live with whatever it was that he felt. He had no idea how to make it stop…and he'd been spending his whole life trying to make it stop…so maybe he could just live with it. It wasn't like he was going to ever do anything about it. Shimazaki didn't like him like that, he would never like him like that, and he just…didn't want to fight anymore. Not with other people and not with himself. He could do what he had to do but…but he couldn't make himself feel any differently than he felt right now.

He just…he was too tired to fight anymore.

"Fine. Three sodas then." Said Sho. He was too tired to fight with Fukuda and he was too tired to fight with himself…and he just…there was some…he felt…relieved for some reason. Just…he would have to do what he had to do. Emmy would come back and he would probably still be here, they moved around less these days than they had before and it was the end of the year anyway, and when she came back he would do the boyfriend thing…and he would be good at it. He didn't have to enjoy something to be good at it…and nobody said that it had to be real and…and there was just something…about that. Something…good.

Nobody said that it had to be real. It just had to be something real to her…and that was ok. That was just…it was a relief. That it was ok.

He shouldn't have felt relieved but….he did.