Sho didn't always get up first.
He did most mornings, big sis went to bed later than he did because she was older or whatever, and that meant that she got up after him. He didn't really like sleeping in that much anyway He didn't like to waste daylight. He didn't always know what he would do with the daylight but he didn't much like to waste it. Even if he was just siting on the floor drawing in his sketchbooks he still liked to do…something with the daylight.
Something other than sitting in bed all day.
But this was where he was, in bed, and he just…didn't want to get up. Christmas was over. Christmas was over and Emmy was coming back. She was going to spend New Year with her mom, she had said, because her sister didn't get along with her dad's new girlfriend. That made sense. Sho didn't think that he would have been able to get along with any girl who liked his dad…well besides his mom…but dad was still married to mom so he didn't have to worry about all of that. He felt sort of bad for Emmy. That must have sucked, getting a new mom while your mom was still around, and he did feel bad for her…and also he knew that he needed to be there for her and stuff….
But he also didn't want to get out of bed.
She wasn't back yet but she would be….and then he would have to hang out with her and stuff. He didn't mind hanging out with her and stuff, she was a good friend, and he also didn't really mind kissing her. She really liked that and they'd been doing that a lot lately. It was a thing that he had to do sometimes. He did it and then it ended and he got on with his life. That wasn't a problem. The problem was that he just…he didn't know if he could tell her that he loved her again. She loved him, he made the goldfish in her stomach swim and stuff, and she just…didn't make him feel the same way. He knew that his feelings didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was her being happy, and he knew that he needed a girlfriend so he'd might as well have her, and he knew that he should have been able to make this pragmatic choice…and he had…he just…
Didn't like to lie to her…not about that.
But she wasn't even back to so he didn't have to lie…so why was he still lying in bed? Why didn't he want to get up? Maybe because his head hurt and he had this sort of…heavy…feeling. Sort of heavy and just….maybe he should have listened to big sis and stayed away from the special eggnog….but Shimazaki had said that it was alright and he had been drinking it too and if Shimazaki liked it when Sho had to like it too because he liked Shimazaki and….and he really liked Shimazaki and….great. Now he was thinking about Shimazaki and how awesome he was and all of that other stuff and just….he needed to get out of bed. He needed to get out of bed and just do….something. He had to get out of bed before he wound up like Serizawa. He had stayed in his room for fifteen years, which was even longer than Sho had been alive for, and Sho…well he didn't want to have to be Emmy's boyfriend but he also didn't want to spend the next fifteen years of his life in his room….
Why were those his only two options?
Maybe there was a third option. Maybe he could just…run away. Maybe he could run away like mom did and then…well he'd never see big sis again if he ran away. He rolled over and looked at her. He didn't know what he'd do without her. For his entire life she'd been there and, yeah, she could be really bossy a lot of the time and she was dad's favorite kid and person in the world but…he couldn't leave her. He couldn't hurt her or himself like that. So he would stay. He would stay in this bed for the rest of his life…or at least until it was time to get up.
Which, apparently, had decided to come now.
Big sis's ringtone was still that same song. For someone who sang all the time about letting it go Elsa really could be kind of a baby. Like, Sho got it, her powers were big and scary but maybe she should have worked on controlling them instead of being all 'conceal don't feel oh my God everyone should be scared of me' and shit. Seriously. If she had just practiced with her powers like a normal person, well a normal esper, then she could have been way better at them by the time that she was an adult. That was, maybe, why Sho was better at controlling his powers than big sis. She had to drink stuff and smoke stuff to control her powers but he just…could. He was good at that…and it was nice to be good at some things…even though he knew that maybe being proud of himself was rubbing it in her face. Well maybe it was ok so long as he didn't do it out loud.
After all, she had no idea what was going on in his head.
"H-hello….it's so early…..what is happening in your head…" muttered big sis as she pulled her phone off the charger with her powers. The song was still going. She hadn't hit answer…which was good because that had been kind of mean of her…and she shouldn't have been mean. That just wasn't how big sis…was.
Maybe dad was rubbing off on her.
Sho didn't want to even think about that. Dad rubbing off on big sis. Dad had already rubbed off on him enough and he hardly ever even talked to the guy. Big sis spent way too much time with dad…and if it started to rub off then Sho was going to have to hang out with her more…even if that meant that he had to let her hang out with him when he was with Shimazaki. He knew that she liked him. Who wouldn't like Shimazaki? He was really cool and nice and he smelled good and he was strong and he was funny and he liked dogs and….a lot of other stuff. He knew that she liked him and…well…she could hang out with them if dad was starting to rub off on her….
But she had to not look at Shimazaki or talk to him or be alone with him ever. There. That would work.
"That's not going to work. You have to hit the answer button." Said Sho. Big sis opened her eyes and sat up. Her hair was floating all around her and she had a candy cane stuck in it too. Her eyes had these grey bags under them and they were all red…and that was because she had been at the party way later than he had been. He had gone home after Shimazaki laid down in the bathtub and went to sleep, no point in being there if Shimazaki wasn't awake, but big sis had stayed up all night with Minegishi it looked like. Good.
The more time she spent with Minegishi the less time she, and Minegishi, would spend with Shimazaki….and also he was happy that she was spending time with her best friend and stuff.
"Whuh? Yeah….the green button, right…let me just…hi, Minori." Said big sis. Sho pulled his blanket over his head even though he knew that big sis's friend couldn't see him. WHY in the hell was big sis friends with that girl? She was weird and just…he didn't like her. He really didn't like her and he hoped that he never had to hang out with her. He would hang out with Minegishi they were a bitch bastard but they were harmless, but never with Minori. She was just…well she had practically shoved her tongue down his throat back when he first met her and that was enough of a reason not to ever want to talk to her or see her or be in the same country as her!
So there!
"No, I wasn't ignoring you….I was asleep….England….London….I don't know which part, the one by the big park I guess….haven't been to Top Shop….not close….ok….but I don't want….ok…." said big sis. She was brushing her hair down with her powers now and she had swung her legs over the side of her bed like she wanted to get up. Sho didn't get why she didn't just stop talking to Minori. Big sis didn't like her and from the stories she told it didn't seem like anyone else liked Minori either.
Which made sense because she went around sticking her tongue in people's mouths and that was just plain weird.
Or maybe he was weird for thinking that it was weird. He just thought that the whole thing was gross…and not in the good way. He didn't even want to do that kind of think with Shimazaki and Shimazaki was, well, Shimazaki. Maybe that was just a thing that girls liked to do to you. Shimazaki did that to Minegishi and they were a girl under their clothes. Maybe that was just one of those things that you were expected to do for girls like giving them money and eating whatever they cooked for you and kissing them the normal way and telling them that they were pretty and touching their boobs and all of that other stuff that you had to do for them….that Emmy would expect him to do for her….
It kind of sucked, sometimes, being a boyfriend…but he had to do what he had to do.
"But that's far….I've been before….but….I don't know….Japan is farther….Tokyo mostly….but…we go back in the summers….but….I don't know….I'll ask….Frozen the musical!? What?!" said big sis…well shouted. Now she was awake. Sho…did not like the sound of that. He did NOT want to go to a musical of Frozen. No. Nothing HAPPENED in Frozen! Elsa couldn't control her powers, she accidentally hurt her sister, and then they had a big fight and then everything got better and also there was the part where Anna and Kristoff kissed….but as far as kissing parts that was ok because Kristoff was awesome and stuff….but still. He did not want to sit through a musical about Frozen…
But it sounded like he was going to end up sitting through a musical about Frozen.
"…but you said that Frozen is for first graders….um….I can ask my dad but he's going to say 'no'. I don't know why we go to the places we go but I'm not in charge of that….no, dad won't say yes if I hold my breath and bang my head against the wall…he'll just get scared….no, I don't want to try that….I'll ask him like normal…ok…it's really early in the morning here….fine, I'll ask him….bye." said big sis. She put her phone down next to her and then let herself fall back onto her bed. Sho listened for a little bit incase her friend decided to call her back, she did that sometimes like she couldn't make up her mind or something, but she didn't…and that was a relief.
He had no idea how big sis could stand her.
Even getting a random, early in the morning, phone call was enough to send her back to sleep. Sho was glad that he liked all of his friends. He didn't see what the point was of having a friend that you didn't like at all….maybe that was just another way that girls were weird. Or maybe big sis was just like that. She liked everyone in the whole world…well not Fukuda…but he didn't like her either so it was a draw. Even though big sis didn't like him she didn't do anything about it. She was nice like that, way too nice, and maybe because she was so nice he needed to spend his whole life with her so he could keep her safe from people who were jerks and stuff….yeah. That sounded like a good plan. He would stick with her for the rest of their lives no matter what.
Even if it meant having to see a musical about Frozen.
"Are we really going to see a musical about Frozen?" asked Sho. He was worried, for a second, that big sis had fallen asleep…but she hadn't. She was awake. He could tell by her aura…and how she was trying to sit up. Her hair was all up around her head again…but he didn't laugh. He knew his bedhead was worse.
"I don't know…maybe. It's in New York, that's where Minori is right now. She wants me to come too. After this she's going back to Japan. She just wanted to go to New York City to see the ball thing drop for the New Year." Said big sis
"Why does she want to be in New York for that? It's cold as hell." Said Sho. He liked it when they spent the winters somewhere warm. That way it was like there wasn't any winter at all…and also that way he didn't have to listen to Minegishi complain about how there weren't enough plants around during the winter or whatever.
"Because she had to leave California because her dad found out about how she was friends with benefits-how she was boyfriend and girlfriend with this boy she kind of liked and, I guess, she held her breath and banged her head against the wall enough times that her dad agreed to let her go to New York before they went back to Japan…and also she's mad at me because we left Japan…and she wants us to hang out together and see this Frozen musical…but I don't think that we're supposed to be back in America until at least the spring. I don't know where we're going next but dad said a winter in Europe and America isn't in Europe." Said big sis. Sho knew where America was. It was across a whole ocean. It was kilometers and kilometers and kilometers away.
Good.
"We should totally go! I mean she's your friend and also you love Frozen and stuff. You should totally make dad let us go to New York City." Said Sho. He was being a jerk. He knew that right now he was being the biggest jerk who had ever lived. He had told Emmy that he would be here when she came back…well he had told her that he would try. He didn't make the travel schedule and…well stuff came up all the time. Like this. This was something very important which had come up…and now…well and now he had to deal with it.
Big sis needed a break.
She did everything for everyone. She took care of him and she took care of dad and she took care of Serizawa now, too, and he was like five people all put together in one…she deserved a break. She deserved to go somewhere fun and be with her friend…even if her friend was a tongue stabbing weirdo….and Sho…well he was going to be a good little brother and he was going to be supportive of her…and stuff.
Also he maybe sort of liked Frozen enough to sit through a musical of it…and stuff.
"But we have to keep a schedule and-" said big sis
"Fuck the schedule!" said Sho
"Little brother! Don't say things like that." Said big sis
"What? Fine, f-word the schedule. There. Is that better?" asked Sho
"Yes." said big sis
"Good. Then we're in agreement. F-word the mother f-wording, dick sucking schedule." Said Sho
"Sho…please stop." Said big sis
"Why? I didn't curse." Said Sho
"That was still gross." Said big sis
"Then what do you want me to say?" asked Sho
"I don't know, I'm tired. I want to go back to sleep. I want to…I don't know. I guess that I want to go but we have to keep to the schedule and also it's hard to move everyone on short notice and the HQ in New York City is barely even anything and…I don't know. I'm sleepy. I'm going back to sleep. Wake me up when you want breakfast." Said big sis. She said that and then she laid back down in her bed the right way and went back to sleep like she said that she wanted to…and that was ok. She said that she wanted to go back to sleep so she went back to sleep. She also said that she wanted to go to New York City so that was what they were going to do.
They were going to New York City.
If they wanted to make it there by the New Year, by New Year's Eve, then they would have to leave soon. As soon as possible. If they wanted to make it there in time…and also if he wanted to leave before…well it just made more sense to leave before Emmy got back instead of after. Then he wouldn't have to say goodbye again. Saying goodbye was hard for her and she always got all sad…and he didn't want to make her sad. Well he knew that he was going to make her sad by just up and leaving but….
Well he didn't want to see her sad.
He was a selfish person. He decided in that moment that he was the most selfish person in the world. If you were going to leave a person then you should have left them to their face. You shouldn't have just gotten up one day and left while they were asleep and…and he wasn't leaving Emmy. He just…had things to do. This was just how it was when you were the guy. The guy left and did important work stuff and the girl stayed home and took care of the house and the kids. Sho and Emmy didn't have those yet but…well maybe saying goodbye would get easier when they did. He didn't know. Maybe it would be harder because he would be leaving his kids behind and stuff.
He wasn't dad. He wasn't selfish enough to just leave his kids behind.
It had bothered Sho, when he'd been too little to see how much of an asshole dad was, that dad always just left them all alone in the house with mom. That he just…left. He sent gifts from far away but Sho had been too young and too dumb to realize that having gifts was better than having his dad around. Well Sho…his kids would never feel that way. He didn't want to make them, he didn't want to have to do that super gross thing with Emmy, but he did want them. He wanted there to be little people of his own that he could love and take care of a million times better than dad had ever taken care of him. He would have that kind of life, he would have a better life than he had now, and he would give his family a better life than dad gave them now when he was an adult. Not now though.
Now he was going to run away to New York City like a selfish dick hole.
Well first he was going to ask dad. It didn't take big sis very long to fall back asleep at all and when she did he knew what he had to do. He was going to be the one to ask dad. Big sis was way too worried about the schedule and stuff. She didn't understand that it didn't matter if they were a little off. It was the end of the year, well that weird time between the end of one year and the beginning of the next, so they could be a little off…and if they ended up being way off then it would be someone else's problem. She deserved a vacation so why not take one?
Really, he was doing this for her.
And he knew that dad would do this for her too. Sho ignored the sting in his chest as he got up and out of bed just like he ignored the sting in his foot from where he stepped on a lego. Big sis was dad's favorite and he would have gone anywhere for her. if she asked him to do something crazy like build her a ladder to the moon then he would have. She was his favorite and Sho…he was just himself…but that didn't matter. When Sho grew up then he could have his own kids and he would love them all just the same…and he would love big sis's kids too…and any other kids that happened to come along to any of his friends. Everyone would feel loved and accepted and…and things would be better.
When he ran Claw things would be better.
When he grew up and ran Claw, and the world, then everyone would be happy and things would be better and dad would be old, too old to bother him, and he would be too old to have to deal with dad's shit…so it would all work out. Yes. He would just have to wait until…well he didn't know for how much longer. Dad had said, had been saying, that he wanted to take over the world before he was fifty…and he was forty four now….so maybe in six more years? Who cared, anyway? The day was coming and when it did, when Sho took over after dad, it would be awesome!
But that was in the future and Sho had enough to worry about right now.
Like waking dad up. He was…well Sho almost didn't recognize him. He usually slept in his undershirt and suit pants. Now he was in a regular shirt and pajama pants…wow. Dad knew that pajamas existed. Sho hadn't seen his dad in pajamas since he'd been little…and even then dad had worn the stupid ones with the buttons. Now he had ones with characters from that game he liked….and also he was asleep on the couch with Hatori all curled up on his chest…and they were sleeping like he and big sis slept sometimes, like they had slept sometimes back when they'd been little, but they weren't little anymore…and neither were dad and Hatori….
And this was just…really weird.
He couldn't take this weirdness. He shook dad awake with his powers….and got slammed to the ground for his efforts. Hatori got up, blinked, and then put his head back down. Thankfully on the armrest of the couch and not on dad. Dad wasn't an armrest or a headrest or any kind of rest. Dad was the complete opposite of a rest. Dad was like…a tired…or something. Something that made you tired just by being near it. Dad was like…he was like….someone tiresome!
And also he was a dick hole's dick hole!
"What….what do you want? Why did you wake me?" asked dad. Thankfully he woke up all the way and Sho didn't have to wake him again. He picked himself up off the floor and went to smooth his coat down…before he forgot that he wasn't wearing his coat. It was hanging up and…and he wanted his coat. He wanted to wear it and hide in it because dad was looking at him…and he knew that his coat couldn't actually make him invisible, he wasn't a baby, but he just….wanted to turtle up in it….but he didn't.
He had a mission and that mission was running away from Emmy…making things better for big sis!
"Can we go to New York City?" asked Sho. Dad's eyebrows went up so high that Sho thought that they were trying to run away into his hair. Maybe they would make it. Maybe they would go so far upwards and into his head that they would never be seen again and then dad and Minegishi would have been no-eyebrow buddies….that would have been pretty great….Sho lets the funny thought chase away the bad ones…
Like how dad could have thrown him across the room and big sis wouldn't have been able to stop him because she was asleep right now.
"No. We're going to Holland next I think…or maybe….I don't know exactly where we're going but it's not New York City. Now go back to sleep. You almost woke Hatori." Said dad. Every time Sho thought that dad had gotten as weird as he could possibly get he set a new world's record. What in the hell did he care if HATORI was sleeping!? What did-
He needed to calm the hell down. This was about big sis.
"We have to go to New York City. There's a Frozen musical there and big sis wants to go and see it." Said Sho. Maybe he could predict the future or something. Dad's eyes got all zoomed in and his aura went looking for big sis…and of course they would go. Dad loved big sis more than anyone or anything else in the world. Maybe even himself.
Sho didn't care.
"She said this to you?" asked Dad
"Yeah, she did. Her friend just called her to tell her about it and now she's really excited. She was going to ask you when she woke up but I thought that I should ask you now because it might be hard to move everyone on such short notice." Said Sho. He wasn't lying at all. He was telling the truth. Big sis was totally pumped for this and she would have asked dad as soon as she got up…but she just…needed her sleep. Yeah. He was just being a good little brother and letting her sleep in. That was all.
He was a good little brother sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes.
"So you are capable of rational thought. Very well. Wake the others and tell them to start packing. We leave immediately….as soon as possible. As soon as your sister wakes up." Said Dad. He looked down at what he was wearing before he got up. He was all weirded out that he was in pajamas…and that really was the weirdest part of all of this. Not dad putting big sis first…because he always put big sis first. That was just how their family worked…and that was ok. Sho had let it bother him before and he had turned into such a dick hole, he had been a dick hole's dick hole back when he'd been little, but he could be better now…and he would be better now. He had to be better now.
He had to grow up to be a better man than his dad was.
"Yeah, I'll do that." Said Sho. He wanted to tell dad to go and fuck himself, and if dad didn't get a move on then he would be in even more danger of telling dad to go fuck himself, but dad wasn't moving along. He was just standing there in front of Sho like a guy who was about to be told to go and fuck himself.
Then he knelt down.
Sho heard something pop as dad knelt down, probably his back because he was so old, and he wondered why dad had even bothered. He braced himself for the hit that was probably coming. Why else would dad have gotten this close to him for? Sho knew that dad had promised big sis, before, that he would stop with all the hitting but dad wasn't the kind of guy who just kept his promises. No, he was the kind of guy who hit you for breathing the wrong way or whatever. Dad raised his hand and Sho, as he closed his eyes, wondered what he had done wrong this time. Talked wrong. Acted wrong. Been born wrong. Something else that he had no idea of? He didn't know.
He just didn't know.
He knew even less when dad rested his hand on Sho's shoulder. He just kept it there and now they were eye to eye…and it was like looking in a mirror. Some kind of crazy time mirror. Sho had dad's eyes. He saw his eyes every time he looked in the mirror. He wondered if dad ever saw him in the mirror. Did da dee Sho or did he just see himself? Or did he just see a mirror?
Now did not seem like the time to ask.
"Don't worry. We'll be back in time for your anniversary. I know how important that is to you." Said dad. Sho had no idea what he was supposed to say to that…so he said nothing. He said nothing and dad didn't seem to mind. He just patted him on the shoulder and then used Sho as leverage so he could get up. Dad…was weird. That was the only explanation. Otherwise why would he even have cared about Sho or his anniversary?
Because he wanted grandkids.
That was what it came down to. Dad wanted to keep his bloodline going and he was just excited because when Sho and Emmy grew up they'd go gross stuff together and make a new person…and that seemed like a really weird thing to be excited about….and a weird think to even think about your son doing with a girl…but dad was a weirdo. Yeah. That was the thought to keep in his head. Really it was better to keep that thought in his head than think about other stuff…like how he was being a total dick hole's asshole to Emmy…and how sad that she would be when he left….no…think about how…about how….
How dad was a complete and total weirdo, as always, and Sho really wanted to go back to bed.