Spur of the moment thing, took about 15 minutes as I searched for inspiration for Not Quite Sure. Addison plus Mark minus Derek equals Happy Fuzzy Penguin. I also decided to abandon my quotation marks, because I didn't like the way they look in this story. (sorry guys.)
I imagine that Addison, before this whole Seattle deal, was a lot like Meredith. Maybe with better hair.
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.
She knows exactly when she fell in love with Mark. Down to the exact month, day, time.
She can even remember what she was thinking before that which was that it was strange how Mark and Derek got along, because she had always thought that neurosurgeons and plastic surgeons would have nothing in common, but these two did. She never liked plastic surgery. She spent her days helping women bring life into the world, and he spent his days covering that up. She didn't like Mark that much, either, to tell the truth.
It was a Tuesday. A rainy, dismal Tuesday in the middle of November, and Derek had left her (again? Yes, again.) for a "major situation." Was he on call? She didn't think so, but he was so dedicated to the hospital she doubted he noticed. And she'd fought so hard for that day off!
(Yes, that's it.) She was pissed off, pissed off and ready to rant, because Dr. Montgomery-Sheppard can't go too long with something on her mind before she spills it out. And Mark was there. They were playing poker when Derek got the page, and Mark was with her, just her, and he put his cards down and said that he didn't feel like playing anymore.
She didn't feel like it either. She felt mad, and she told him that. She was angry, really, with her teeth clenched and jerky motions, which is different from just mad (one syllable, in fact). How could he? After all the times he'd left her, early in the morning, the middle of the day, late at night. After all those times, she finally finds them one day, and not only does he invite his best friend over to play poker (no really, Mark, it's no big deal, it's just that he knew it was a special day) but--And then he stopped her.
Nobody had ever stopped her before in her life, not even when she was an intern. She was a good intern, a safe intern, the one that people pointed out on the first day and said, she's going to be big someday. No one needed to stop her. Not even Derek. But here, now, when she was at the most unstoppable pace she ever would be, he yelled at her.
So she stopped.
Had she ever considered, he asked, if the major situation ended up living because of Derek. Did she even think past that fact that her husband was out there saving lives? She glared at him.
It's not fair, she said. It's not fair that while some people spend all their time getting hurt, other people have to fix it up.
And he responded, life's not fair. And she laughed. Cliché, she said. At this point in our lives, when we know we're going to get old and grisly in an ER, you say life's not fair.
Hey, he said. Some people are the cows. And other people are the meat grinders.
What are we, she asked, amused by his analogy.
We're the health inspectors. And the answer was so bizarre, so fittingly out of place, she had to smile. What if I want to be a cow?
You don't want to be a cow, he said. Cows are ugly. And they have bad breath. She happened to think cows were cute, but she didn't tell him that. At least, not this time.
It's still not fair, she said, her angry conviction no longer present. She pouted. He knew it was a long time since she'd gotten anywhere with that pout, and he told her so.
And right then, she realized, without any preceding thoughts, that this was the way that she and Derek used to talk. Except without as much teasing. Certainly no cows.
Oh, and that Mark looked extremely sexy right then, and she wanted to kiss him, Derek be damned. And he knew it, the cocky little bastard. She took a deep breath.
Have you ever just had that feeling were you want to push all the buttons in the elevator right before you step out on your floor? She asked. He raised an eyebrow. Not since fourth grade, no.
Or, you know, climb inside a shopping cart and race someone down the aisles. He shook his head. But I know what you're talking about. Derek wouldn't know, and she hated herself for thinking that.
Well, she said. That's what I'm feeling right now. And he smiled and said, me too.
But they didn't have sex then, they didn't even kiss, because Mark stood up and put on his coat. Me too, he said, and when he left at 2:32 in the afternoon, nine minutes before Derek came back citing false alarm, she knew that she loved the plastic surgeon, and not the neurosurgeon who she was married to.
It was a strange, but oddly exciting feeling that she knew something Derek didn't.
She'd share that feeling with Mark some other day.
She's pretty sure it was the day before Derek found out.
-end-
Ah, yes, that's the end. Review, and the Penguin will be even happier.