A/N: I struggled a bit with this one, I hope it came out okay, apologies for any mistakes you find I have been traveling and am exhausted as a result.
Liv, Noah, and Lucia leave to go back to the hospital at dawn, unable to wait to see Rafael again a second longer. All three are wide awake despite the early hour. As they walk into the room a nurse is just leaving.
Olivia stops her, "has he woken up yet?"
The nurse shakes her head, "not yet, no."
In the room Noah wants to get on the bed with Rafael, Liv lets him but reminds him he must be very careful because Rafael is hurt, and he doesn't want to be touching anywhere near the wounds.
Noah picks a spot on Rafael's left side, he adjusts his father's arm so he is able to rest his head on Rafael's chest.
"Momma, when is Daddy going to wake up? I miss him." Noah's voice is so small to Olivia's ears it almost sounds far away. She wishes she had an answer for him, that she could say he would wake up soon, but she doesn't know and won't lie to him.
"I'm not sure baby, we are just going to have to wait and see." She runs a quick hand through her son's hair before sitting down in the chair at Rafael's bedside. She brought a book with her to read, along with the ipad, and some coloring supplies for Noah. For now though, Noah seems content to sit listening to Rafael's heartbeat, rising and falling with each breath he takes.
Lucia has elected to stop by her house to change and shower, but promises to return to the hospital as quick as she can. This happens to be about 90 minutes after Olivia and Noah had arrived at his room. She walks in carrying a tray of drinks, two coffees, one for her and one for Olivia, and a hot chocolate for Noah. She pulls the table over and drags the chair so she and Olivia sit side by side as they sip their drinks. Noah waits a few minutes before going to his mother's lap and starting his hot chocolate, wanting to make sure it isn't too hot to drink.
On the second round of coffee, at nearly 8:00 Rafael begins to stir, Noah, who had been watching a show while sitting on Olivia's lap notices first. Tapping Olivia's leg he points to Rafael, as if scared moving or making a noise might affect how things will turn out in some way.
With a groan Rafael opens his eyes, scanning the room, taking things in, and trying to figure out where he is, and why. Finally his eyes land on his family, he finds his mother looking at him with a complete look of relief, Noah looking shocked and very excited, and Olivia with tears running down her cheeks.
"What happened?" He croaks out, his voice very hoarse from disuse and dryness. Lucia gets up and brings him a cup of water, which he accepts gratefully.
Sniffling Olivia is the one to answer, "you got hurt yesterday afternoon, at city hall. Do you remember what happened?"
Rafael brings his left arm up, noticing the bandaging there, "yes," he says, a haunted tone filling the single syllable.
"You had surgery last night, and -" Liv's words get caught in her throat, "and we weren't sure what was going to happen." By this time she is crying out right, and Noah is squirming to get off her lap, she knows he wants to be back by Rafael's side and she lets him, bringing him to the bed Olivia puts him down in the spot he had been in before.
On his knees Noah makes his way to be as close to Rafael's face as possible, putting a hand to his father's cheek Noah stares intensely at him. "I was so scared Daddy, please be okay." The little boy now has tears leaking from his eyes.
Rafael brings his hand to Noah's face to wipe away his tears as best he could with just one hand available to him. "I'm sorry buddy, but I'll be okay, I promise." Obviously Rafael can't actually know this is true or not but he would do anything to erase the look of fear from his son's eyes. "I love you so much Noah."
Noah drapes himself onto Rafael's stomach and speaks into his body, "I love you too Dad." Rafael feels Noah rub his face into him as he settles in for a cuddle.
"Mamí, sorry if I scared you," Rafael knows his mother had often been afraid for her son while he had been working to put away dangerous people and being threatened for it. He never imagined that he would be in a situation anything like this.
"Rafi, I don't think I'm the person you should be apologizing to, but thank you mijo, I'm just glad you're awake." Lucia's voice was soft, so caring, so much like a mother and child, as it made its way to his ears.
He knows his mother is right but he has been hesitant to meet her gaze, nervous about what he would find there. Still he can't avoid her forever, he slides his eyes towards Olivia, "how are you doing 'Livia?"
She is still crying but she smiles at him while nodding, "better now you're awake. You scared me so much Rafa, and when I couldn't reach you, when you stopped answering, I started to panic, after you had been speaking to me like we wouldn't see each other when this was all over." Olivia wipes her face, running her fingers under her eyes.
"I need you," swallowing she looks away for a moment. "I need you to stick around, until we are both old and grey, so we can be cranky and squabble with each other. So we can see Noah grow up and graduate high school, then college, and -"
"And law school," Rafael interrupts Olivia's speech, feeling as though he might start crying too.
"Sure, law school too. We can have grandchildren and see them grow up next. But you need to be okay to get there. Promise me you'll be okay?" The look she is giving holds all the love she feels for him and all the terror she felt at the thought she may not get to show that love to him any longer.
"I promise." He choked out.
By this time Noah is sitting up once more, turning to look at his mother he points to the bag she brought with them, "are you going to give him your question now Momma?"
Liv follows the direction Noah is pointing, pausing to make her decision, "what do you guys think should I ask him now?" She doesn't take her eyes off the bag.
"It certainly would be a very good motivation to get better," Lucia points out exited at the prospect of her son finally getting married. Not to mention how happy it would make her to have Olivia as her official daughter-in law.
"Please ask Momma," Noah even employs his puppy dog look for maximum persuasion.
Laughing Olivia reaches for her bag and removes the black box Amanda had brought to her yesterday. She smoothes her fingers around the edges of it once, then twice, breathing heavily through her nose.
Rafael looks between the three of them baffled by the cryptic conversation he seems to be the only one not part of, "what question? What's in the box, what's going on?"
Showing no patience for her son Lucia simply turns to him, "hush now mijo, you'll find out," before directing her words to Olivia, "would you like some privacy dear?"
Finally looking up Liv turns her head to Lucia, "no thank you Lucia, I think it would be better with the two of you here." then to her son, "Noah, will you sit with Abuelita for a minute while I give Daddy his question?" Olivia is standing now and reaches out for Noah and is then placing him in Lucia's lap. The pair watch eagerly while Olivia takes Noah's place on the bed beside Rafael.
Still confused Rafael welcomes the presence of Olivia closer to him, it's now he notices that she is wearing his sweatshirt and it makes him smile, "that looks good on you nena."
Liv takes the hand he used to indicate the garment and keeps hold of it, "I have had this for a little while now, and I couldn't find the right time to give it to you, something always kept me waiting.
"After yesterday I knew I couldn't wait any longer, didn't really want to anyway. I have been scared of what giving you this would mean, scared of losing the independence I have worked my whole life to keep. But this wouldn't change that, you have never asked me to be any different than what I am. It's one of the things I love about you, one of the very many things. In fact there are so many different things that I love about you that I think it might take a lifetime to get through it all, which I kind of hope it does."
Rafael uses the hand she is holding to tug her and get her attention, "Besame mi amor." She leans over his prone form and lays a series of chaste kisses on his lips. (kiss me my love.)
Pulling away from him Olivia laughs, "Rafa stop distracting me, I have a question to ask you, remember?"
"Apologies, you are just irresistible," he tries to excuse himself, but hears his mother mother clear her throat disapprovingly.
"As I was saying," Olivia starts again, "I hope it takes a lifetime to tell you all the things I love about you because, because well," she's crying again, softly this time, happily, "I want you to promise me a lifetime together."
Seeing Rafael open his mouth she shakes her head to stop him. Turning her eyes back to the box she still holds Liv runs her thumb down the length to open it and turns it to him, "so Rafa, what do you say? Do you want to promise me a life together? Will you marry me?"
"Help me sit up please." Rafael requests squirming his hips as he works to get himself in more of a sitting position. With some effort, as gentle as could be, he is sitting up. Raf cradles Liv's cheek in his left hand, the feeling of her skin on his is the best he has felt for the last two days, maybe longer. Rafael pulls Olivia in so he can kiss her once more, deeper his time. He doesn't pull away either keeping his forehead against hers.
"I love you Olivia, and I really want to marry you." He is crying a little at this point, it doesn't matter though, the love of his life wants to spend her life with him, wants to tell the world they belong to each other. Clearing his throat Rafael adds one final thing, "now I believe you have something for me."
Liv rubs her face into his face further before wrapping her fingers around his. Pressing a kiss against his palm she takes his hand away from her face to lay between them, "I believe I do too," taking the ring from the box she slides it past his knuckles to sit firmly at the base of his ring finger.
"Daddy you get to be a Benson now too!" Noah's exclamation breaks his parents gazes to roam over to him.
Rafael chuckles, "and I can't wait." The smile he wears is all the evidence Noah needs to see how true this is.
Lucia pipes up, "me either."
His eyes shift slightly and Rafael looks to see the joy on Lucia's face, "so you knew about this?"
"Claro mijo she asked my permission too." Lucia couldn't look more pleased than she does now.
Rafael laughs full time this time, although there is obvious pain behind it, "I didn't realize you were such a traditionalist Liv."
"I'm full of surprises." Shrugging one shoulder Olivia stretches toward the end of the bed to hit the call nurse button.
"And I have a lifetime to find them all out." Olivia doesn't need to be looking at him to know how much awe he is feeling in the moment. Besides she's feeling it too.
A nurse comes in to check everything over, "nice to see you awake Mr. Barba." She begins to look him over informing them all his vital signs appear to be normal, "you're going to be in pain for the next few days at least. And we are going to have to keep you here for another couple of days before you can be discharged. The doctor will be in shortly to fill you in more about all this, for now I'm going to administer more pain medication."
After doing so the nurse leaves the family to themselves again. They all chat happily until Rafael begins to doze off.
"We are going to go home for a while and take a nap ourselves, but we will be back this afternoon." Olivia who had given up her spot for Noah to return to, leans over and gives him a quick kiss.
Rafael moans with slight disappointment that they won't be with him but he knows it's unfair to ask them to stay, especially so when he will just be asleep.
Noah crawls further up the bed so he get closer to his father's face, "hasta luego Papí te amo." He says before pecking a short kiss on his lips. (See you later Daddy I love you.)
"Tambien te amo Noah." Rafael answers.
Olivia lifts Noah off the bed and sets him at his feet before ushering him out of Lucia's way.
Lucia looks down at her son, eyes sleepy but happy at the same time. Carding her fingers through Rafael's hair Lucia whispers to him, "I never want you to scare me like that again entiendes?" Part of her wants that to have come out as more of a reprimand but more of her doesn't care about that, she cares that he is there for her to be saying anything to at all.
"Sí Mamí." Rafael is blinking with all the effort it is taking him to stay awake.
They file out of the room returning to their separate homes hoping to catch some sleep and re energize before they plan to go back to the hospital.
Once they return Rafael is awake again and walking around working the stiffness from his legs.
Liv walks in with some sweatpants and a T-shirt for him to wear but sees that he has exchanged his hospital gown for scrubs.
"You would make a very cute doctor Rafa," is how Liv decides to announce her arrival.
"Pardon you I would make a cute anything, even a waitress." Rafael finishes making his point by sticking his tongue out at her.
Noah, who is walking into the room trailing Olivia but proceeding Lucia sticks his tongue out too. At the sametime this is taking place Olivia has thrown her head back laughing at him.
Getting control of herself Liv walks up to her *fiancee* laying a hand to his lower back, "I think you mean waiter my love but you're right you would be cute no matter what job you have." She prevents him from answering right away by kissing him as soundly as she is comfortable considering their audience.
"Mmm," Rafael is dazed for a moment before he turns to look at Noah, "you hear that Noh? Momma thinks I'm cute." He is exceedingly pleased at the thought.
Noah on the other hand makes a face at him before moving on.
Stepping fully into the room Lucia kisses her son's cheek and tells him, "you are very cute compay."
They settle themselves as well as hospital furniture allows and Olivia hands out the sandwiches she brought from home.
"The doctor came in while you guys were out. He told me things look good and the stitches could come out of my forearm next week. As for my shoulder that's obviously going take longer to heal." He doesn't sound at all happy at the thought, but resigns himself to this reality.
"Olivia they will have to show you how to change the dressing at some point too."
Liv nods, "I'll try to get someone to show me today or Saturday, I have to go to work tomorrow," her eyes show nothing but an apology as she looks at Rafael, "and Noah is going back to school too."
Olivia had clearly told the boy about this fact prior to her voicing it now but he still hasn't accepted it, "I don't wanna go to school! I wanna stay with Daddy." He slouches against Lucia crossing his arms as does.
Liv's tone is warning, "Noah," clearly this isn't the first conversation they've had about his attitude.
He continues to pout regardless.
Olivia moves on, "did the doctor say anything else?"
"Yeah, I will need a couple follow up appointments to make sure everything is healing properly and," Rafael indicates the sling he's been wearing, "I have to wear this thing for a month!" His voice completely exasperated which is compounded by his dramatic eye roll.
"I have to do physical therapy as well, and I'll be expected to exercises on my own as well." His pout rivals Noah's.
"Oh don't be such a baby, I'll help you with those." Now it's Olivia's turn to roll her eyes.
This finally pulls a smile out of Rafael. He seats himself on the edge of the bed, dragging his left hand over his face, scratching at the facial hair now adorning his cheeks, chin, and lip.
Billowing out a long breath Raf makes eye contact with Olivia before switching to his mother and son, "can Olivia and I have some privacy for a minute?" He requests.
Before Noah can make any objections Lucia takes his hand, "of course," looking at Olivia, "let me know when it's okay to come back mija." And Lucia and Noah leave closing the door behind them.
Once the door clicks behind them Olivia tilts her head to the side to take in the sight of Rafael sitting there, alive and is overcome with so many different emotions she's sure she wouldn't be able to identify them all. Though she knows among them is love and incredible relief.
"What's up Rafa? Not having second thoughts about marrying me are you?"
Rafael drops his head back to look at the ceiling, and not Olivia, breathing deeply through his nose.
"Are you?" Olivia now feels anxiety wrap her in its grip.
Bringing his head back to her level Rafael shakes his head, "no, of course not, I love you so much and us getting engaged is the one good thing that came out of this shit-storm of a situation."
Squeezing his shut tight Olivia sees tears slip down his face so she gets up to go to him and brings his head into her chest and holds him there to let him cry. For some minutes this was how they stayed.
"Talk to me Rafael," Liv implores.
"I was so scared Olivia, I wasn't sure what was going to happen to me and all I could think of was that stupid argument I had with you and Noah the night before. That I should have said I love you, should have kissed you, told Noah that in long run the vegetables don't matter, what matters is our family and that we love one another. That we do the best we can in life and do as much good as we can." His tears haven't stopped but he does have them under control.
Taking his face between her hands, swipes her thumbs from his cheekbones to over his ears, leaning down she kisses him deeply. Finally being alone she runs her tongue along his bottom lip and does not have to wait for him to open up to her. Together they give themselves times to taste each other, feel each other.
"Baby, I know you love me, even if we don't always like each other all the time, you show me you love me when you still say goodbye and give me a kiss on my cheek when we have a disagreement, or when you send me selfies making some very silly and some incredibly sexy faces that you would never do for anyone else. You love me through loving our son. Don't ever question the love you give Noah and I, we feel it, we believe in it."
Liv, who has stepped between Rafael's legs, his left hand rests at her hip, she kisses his forehead, each cheek, chin, the end of his nose, and down to his lips again.
"I love you Rafa," she whispers against his lips.
Rafael asks if she knows any information about the gunman's motivations.
"There hasn't been any real reason they have been able to find so far, the best people have been able to give us is that Eisenmenger, that was his name, always had a temper and could be very volatile, and we found multiple 911 calls for domestic abuse from previous relationships.
"We are looking into whether any relationships had just ended and if there was any connection to city hall employees." She wished she had more definitive answers for him, to give him some closure.
Once again Rafael rests his head against Olivia's chest, over her beating heart to calm himself, she helps by scratching her nails over his scalp.
She remembers something, "a co-worker of yours, Brandi, called asking about you, she is going to try to come by for a visit if you're okay with that."
He doesn't pick his head up, he has no energy to, "is she okay? Everyone from the conference room are they okay?"
"Yeah they're all fine, physically. They were smart to barricade the door like they did and they took cover the best they could as far from the doors as they could get. Obviously everyone is shaken up but, no injuries in that room."
As if realizing for the first time since he was in the middle of it all Rafael thinks about all the other people involved, "how many dead?"
She can't bear the grief she hears in his tone, "Raf, I don't know if now is the right time, why don't you focus on getting better for now?" Olivia hesitates to reveal details knowing he will only feel guilty after hearing them.
Rafael knows what she is thinking and figures she is probably right, "okay, yeah you're right." Pulling away from Olivia Rafael tries to bring the mood backup, "when do we start our wedding planning? Who are you going to have as your maid of honor because I have dibs on Noah."
She allows the conversation switch by inviting Noah and Lucia back into the room so they can begin the wedding planning.
A/N: Still more to come, I will do my best to get the next chapter up quickly but I haven't started it yet...
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