The greatest invention in the history of human consumerism was the boyfriend chair.

Not a chair made form boyfriends, no, though Ryou would not have minded if they decided to use him as a substitute for a chair, this was a chair made for boyfriends. A chair place off towards the wall of a high end department store for the purpose to letting a woman's significant other take a break while they shopped for that oh so perfect outfit….a process which could take days than if performed properly. Minegishi did not have days, and if Mob came up to them with a sleeping bag and a dinner bento they'd have words for her, but they did have hours...and that was how long it felt like they had been spending here in this boyfriend chair.

Or rather the best friend chair.

That was what they were, Mob's best friend, and as her best friend they had a certain responsibility to her. That was why they were here. They couldn't leave Mob alone with this little monster…and they would use the word monster. Not monster in the way that Sho was a monster, no there was no yelling and screaming and kicking and fighting and biting, but there was…well maybe demon was a better word. Yes. That was what she was. This was like an old American cartoon with Minori as the demon on Mob's shoulder whispering poison into her ear.

Not that Minegishi was the angel on this situation.

They were….sort of like a distant relative that gave you good advice and let you play with fireworks at the same time. She had them and they were…well they weren't good for her. They were directly responsible for what seemed like the beginnings of a serious emotional dependency on various substances….and they would never forgive themselves for that…and also they were an adult. Maybe they were too hard on that little demon. After all she wasn't that much older than Mob and she had nobody looking out for her. She didn't have anyone to tell her that maybe this wasn't the time in her life to mess around with older guys, act like a bitch to your supposed best friend, and just…well….

Try and get Mob into that dress.

"Minegishi, this is too short, right? I wouldn't look good in this, right?" asked Mob as she came up to Minegishi holding a dress. Minori said that they both needed to match because they were best friends…and Mob agreed. She had always wanted to be twins with Minegishi and stuff but they didn't wear dresses and she didn't wear pants so she knew that it was never going to happen. Minori knew that Mob didn't like dresses that were that short…but for some reason she wasn't going to let it go….

Heh. Let it go.

"You look good in anything but if you don't want to get that dress then don't bother getting it." Said Minegishi. They took a look at the dress in Mob's hands. Blue and short. No sleeves. Itchy sparkly things on the front. Small enough to fit her….but not the thing that she should have worn. Minegishi…well they weren't her parent and they weren't going to tell her what she could and could not do with her body but…well she was maybe a little too young for the kind of attention that dress could get her. Minegishi had been her age, they had wanted that sort of attention until they had gotten it, and Mob…well she didn't need to go through all of that…

But her life was her own.

"Um…Minori likes it…and she says that we can wear it even though it's blue and blue makes me look sick…but if you don't think that it looks good on me then I won't get it." Said Mob

"Mob, why does my opinion even matter in this situation? You know that I don't know shit about clothes." Said Minegishi. They put their book down and pulled at their t-shirt for emphasis. This was Ryou's shirt, actually, his Beatles shirt. The one without the massive grease stain on it…so maybe his second favorite. Or maybe his third…no….he'd accidentally set that one on fire….

Ryou might have needed some new shirts.

"You know things about clothes…a lot of things! Like…I like how you wear a lot of purple because it matches your hair and I like how you wear a lot of flowers because you like plants and also you wear a lot of shirts that say funny things on the front and it's nice…so…um…can you tell me if this dress is nice?" asked Mob. She didn't know if Minegishi knew about dresses….but Minegishi was really cool, Minori had said so, so if Minegishi said that this dress was uncool then Minori would pick something else for them to be twins in.

"Mob, I have no opinion on dresses beyond the fact that I don't like them…but if you don't want to wear that dress then don't get it. You never wear shit like that anyway." Said Minegishi

"I know, I need more cool stuff like this." said Mob

"Why in the hell….what do you even need new clothes for? Don't you have enough clothes as it is?" asked Minegishi. They weren't one to talk when it came to clothes….they had more t-shirts than they could even get through in a month…but they liked all of their shirts. Mob…she didn't even like that dress! What did she need someone else's approval or disapproval or-

Mob is eleven, Toshiki, calm the hell down.

"So that I can look cool. Minori says that I'm too old to dress like a first grader and also Minori says that-" said Mob

"Mob…who the hell cares what Minori-" said Minegishi. They wondered if Minori was related to Ryou in some way. They'd have to get him to recite his bloodline again. Maybe they shared a common ancestor…or maybe Ryou just hadn't been very careful eleven years ago. It would have made sense.

Minegishi wondered if Minori, the little demon child, had other powers besides appearing when she'd been mentioned.

"Minegishi! She's coming!" said Mob. She could tell by the sound of her footsteps. Even though there were other people here, and the floor was carpeted, she could still tell Minori by her footsteps. Stompy and bossy. Minegishi could be kind of bossy but they were never stompy…but that was alright. Minori was…she was Minori…and she was Mob's friend…and Mob was her best friend….

And best friends….well they were nice to their best friends….and that was all Minori was trying to be…nice. She was just bad at it.

"Shige! Where in the hell did you run off for? The fitting rooms are over there in the girl's clothes!" said Minori. Honestly. Shige could be such an airhead sometimes. She just wandered off in the middle of their very important discussion. They had to dress nice for this thing, it was the world premier fo a famous musical! Sure it was Frozen but…well how else was she supposed to hang out with Shige? All she cared about was Frozen. She was such a kid sometimes. No wonder glasses boy wouldn't go out with her or even be friends with benefits with her.

Really.

She was so lucky that she had someone like Minori in her life. Sure she was a kid but…well Minori could work with that. She was a kid and she was an airhead and she was way too sensitive and she could be kind of bitchy sometimes…but she was still a good friend. She almost never argued with her. She usually did what she was told and that was the way a best friend should be. That was the way that Minori had always wanted her best friend to be.

Well she had always wanted her best friend to be older than seven but she took what she could get.

"I was just asking Minegishi is they liked this, that's all." said Mob. Minegishi nodded and then looked back down at their book. They were sitting in a chair and just…well they usually had more to say. She wanted them to say that it was too short and that…well they had nicer dresses back in the kid's section…or Mob would even have worn boy's clothes. They weren't fully in the boy clothes section, this was girl's coats and then boy's coats, but Mob would have gladly walked over to the boy's clothes and picked out a pair of….

….pants.

"Oh, yeah, Minegishi, what do you think?" asked Minori. She brushed her hair back and tried not to look like she cared what the coolest person that she had ever met thought. Shige may have acted like she had never left the first grade but her friends…..why did she have such cool friends?! Well not glasses boy, he sucked, but Minegishi was cool and they had the hottest boyfriend that Minori had ever seen…and they were just…an adult.

Adults were so cool. Minori couldn't wait until she was one.

"I think….that it's winter." Said Minegishi. What they thought, what they really thought, they could not say to a kid without ending up feeling like a bad person. Kids…they had a soft spot for kids….or maybe their head was just one big soft spot. They would explore this facet of their personality later. Right now they were going to be….nice.

As best as they could.

Minori may have been dressed like a tiny adult, why an eleven year old needed so much makeup Minegishi would never know…..just like they had no idea how she could stand to wear those heels, but she was just a kid. A few months older than Mob. A little girl playing at what she thought it was to be an adult. Minegishi was tempted to poke a hole in whatever idea she had about what adult life was like. It sucked. You got up. You worked. You went to sleep. You dealt with morons. Rinse and repeat. Someone needed to tell Minori…well a lot of things….but Minegishi was not that person.

They had enough to deal with when it came to Mob.

"It is winter." Said Mob. Minegishi to the rescue! This was why they were best friends, they always knew what the other one meant, well aside from the times when they didn't but…well their mental synchronization was great! And it came with one explanation, they were best friends, the very best of friends…and she wished that she could have been best friends with Minori like that but…well she would settle for not upsetting her.

That was a best friend thing too.

"Yeah…uh…winter is coming." Said Minori. That was a thing that people said. Winter is coming…but what was that from…that…that show! The dragon one that nerds liked! Right…she didn't know that show…but was that something that she needed to know? She had thought that it was just for nerds but they were cool now…right? Or were they talking about the books? Oh God….was she going to have to read books?! Wait, no, adults read books and did intellectual stuff like that and…and she needed to read those books….that way she could understand whatever inside joke that was!

She hated inside jokes.

Unless she was the one who invented the joke then she didn't like it…and why did Shige have inside jokes with Minegishi?! Well because they were just…her best friend. They had matching bracelets and everything. Minori was Shige's best friend too! No way were they losing her best friend! She was a better friend than Minegishi and…and she was cool! She was really cool! She was older than Shige and she was really cool and-

And she had to be cool. Right now.

"No, it's here. It's freezing outside so maybe you might want to pick out some dresses with sleeves? And maybe ones that actually cover your legs?" asked Minegishi

"Yeah, I mean if Minegishi thinks that well be cold-" said Mob

"We're going to be inside. It's not a musical in the park, Shige, but….uh….yeah. Maybe we should find something else to wear." Said Minori

"I saw some pink dresses we could be twins in…and they had tulle. You look nice in tulle and in pink too." Said Mob

"I hate tulle, it itches like a bitch…but maybe…well maybe we should bring Minegishi in to this. What are you planning on wearing?" asked Minori. She turned to face Minegishi…and they were looking down at their book again…which seemed kind of rude or…or maybe Minori was just being boring. Maybe she was being too much of a kid…but what did adults even talk about? Clothes and guys and makeup and….politics? Taxes? Tea? What in the…

She'd figure it out. She was Asagiri Minori. She could do anything.

"What?" asked Minegishi. They had been on the same page for so….long…and it looked like they would be there for even longer. These kids….they needed to teach Mob to put her foot down with Minori…and they needed to learn how to tell off kids. God, they had been spending way too much time with Shibata. Any minute now they'd start knitting.

"What are you going to wear?" asked Mob. She hoped that Minegishi wore the shirt they had with the snowflake. That could be like them being twins, or rather triplets, with her and Minori….and also they could wear their belt with the white studs too….and also she could try and braid their hair. It was long enough to be tied back…almost….and maybe she could try and do a couple of braids….or maybe one like Elsa….or something.

There were so many possibilities.

"I don't have a clue. A white dress shirt, maybe? I haven't really thought about it." Said Minegishi. There was no point in thinking about it. Mob would pick something out for them to wear. She loved to dress them up. She'd probably get them a new snowflake t-shirt or something…something that would match her.

"Want us to help? I mean not that you need help but we could totally help you pick out something cute." Said Minori. She tried to sound sweet and not at all like she thought that Minegishi's outfit really sucked. Nonbinary didn't have to mean guy's clothes. Their shirt was way too big and their pants were all ripped up…and not in a cool way too…but they had just met so now was not the time to really tear them apart. They'd probably just say something right back to her and then Shige would have to choose and…well Minori knew who Shige would choose…since she had to make her choice.

"I don't…fine. But there are rules. No dresses, no ruffles, no yellow, sleeves of some kind, and absolutely nothing tight or low cut." Said Minegishi. Letting the two of them play mall madness for a few hours would at least get them out of sight and out of mind…and also it might give Mob a little bit of a break too….and she seemed like she needed one.

"So….guy's clothes?" said Minori. She stuck out her tongue…and then regretted it. She'd probably ruined her lip gloss and now she looked stupid…and also maybe she shouldn't have stuck out her tongue either because that was something that a first grader would have done and she was not a first grader. She was practically in middle school which was practically high school which was practically an adult.

She was way too old to be sticking her tongue out like that.

"Preferably." Said Minegishi

"Minegishi doesn't wear a lot of girl's clothes. They said that girl's clothes have superfluous details, aren't well crafted, and have too many special washing instructions." Said Mob helpfully. Minegishi did wear girl's clothes sometimes, they had so many floral t-shirts and pajama pants that they could have opened up a store, but not most of the time. Today they were wearing Shimazaki's clothes…and it was so romantic! They shared clothes with him because they loved him and they probably wanted to smell like him all day and think about him and…and….and it was the best thing ever! Well Mob figured at least. She didn't want to crush Minori's dreams of them having a double wedding but she was never getting a boyfriend. All the boys she knew were way older than her and even if she did fall in love with someone besides Hatori, not him ever again though, she wouldn't be able to be with him because of the age thing…but that was ok, Minegishi had a boyfriend and since they were best friends that was kind of like her having a boyfriend…

Not that she ever wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend with Shimazaki….just….no.

"Well non-binary doesn't have to mean 'dress like a guy all the time' you know. Don't worry….Mine….we're going to find something good…and in purple, too, since that's our best color." Said Minori. There, she was being a good friend and including Minegishi. She had even given them a nickname. There. Now they were friends.

"Good hunting." Said Minegishi. They waited until Minori dragged Mob out of sight before they got up and made their way towards he men's clothes. Ryou needed a new dress shirt. He had a terrible habit of ruining his clothes…mostly because he spent most of his time getting up to various shenanigans with an eleven year old. Yes, he needed a new white, no, black dress shirt. He'd just ruin a white one and black went with everything anyway…or maybe red.

He looked good in red.

Well he looked good in everything. Everything and nothing. God had been cruel when he made Shimazaki Ryou. He had no idea how good looking he was…and now they were thinking about him. They were pulling various shirts off of the rack and thinking about pulling them off of him…not again. This was…they wished that they could have gone back to being tired and stressed. Not this sort of…weirdly giddy….and maybe a little…well not horny but…amorous? That feeling they got when they thought about Ryou for too long. Not like they wanted to sleep with him, well they always did he was Shimazaki Ryou, but more like they wanted to…dress and undress him?

Feelings were complicated.

Speaking of complicated feelings there went their phone. Again…they knew what time it was in Seasoning City…and they knew that it far past the time when certain Scars were supposed to be in bed…and hadn't he had some kind of babysitting duty earlier? Yeah, one of the Scars had a kid…or maybe he'd been talking about the Awakened….they'd ask him. They clicked their phone on and…and then they clicked it off. Then on again. He was asking about their travel plans for the New Year….when he'd be able to see them again….

'IDK'

There. That was an answer. That was a truthful answer, too, they didn't know. They didn't even think that Suzuki himself knew. This whole trip had been so spur of the moment….but that was their whole life. Globetrotting trips….relationships…..hookups with interesting people….whatever they hell they had going on with Matsuo now. They liked talking to him, and they liked being with him, and not just to kiss their way across his scars…

They decided to focus on shopping.

They had been about to click their phone off again when they felt someone breathing, literally, down the back of their neck…and Minori was lucky to be alive in that moment. How had…Mob was back there holding a pile of clothes that went above her head and…and how had they worked so fast? Minegishi had severally underestimated the shopping abilities of preteen girls. It looked like they had combed through the entire store for whatever purple clothing they could get their glittery little fingers on…and normally they would have applauded that kind of efficiency but now…

Well now they were trying their best not to smack that little demon over the head.

"Who's Matsuo? And why is he asking to see you? Oh my God, is he your boyfriend too?! I mean I know that you and blind yakuza guy are going out but Shige said that you guys are in a polyamorous relationship and that's so cool. I mean it's nice how you guys started out as friends with benefits and stuff and…oh! Is he another friend with benefits or is he a part of the relationship? When I had a friend with benefits we agreed that-" said Minori. Minegishi decided to be a bitch, then, and click their phone off…why?! This was so cool! She had never known anyone to have two guys at once…and have the guys be ok with it…and two guys at once was awesome! Not that she'd ever…but it sounded awesome…or just two guys together…that would have been awesome too….

"Hey Mob, all of that for me?" asked Minegishi. Yeah, they were not about to talk about ANY of that with an eleven year old they barely knew. They wouldn't even discuss the particulars of their relationship with Mob and she was Mob…and also Minegishi wasn't entirely sure about those particulars but….well they were not the things to discuss with children anyway.

They were just kids. Let them worry about clothes and playing dress up and….other kid stuff that Minegishi had never thought about.

"Mine, why are you being so-" said Minori. She had been about to say bitchy but not in a bitchy way. Really more of a 'you bitch' sort of way than anything.

"These are all for you. I know that you don't like clothes with beads and jewels and lace and sequins but Minori was thinking that clothes are pointless without them since Shimazaki is blind and stuff." Said Mob

"Yeah Mine, this way he can feel you up and it won't even seem like that's what he's doing since blind people see with their hands. See Mine? Aren't you glad you have us? I bet you never in a million years would have thought of that." Said Minori

"No…because I don't like getting felt up in public first of all and second of all Ryou is already well aware of what I look like…but you know what? How about I try some of that on….since you both tried so hard." Said Minegishi. Truth be told the last thing they wanted to do was play dress up all afternoon….well that was the second to last thing that they wanted to do. The absolute last thing that they wanted to do was deal with two kids prying into their private relationships so…dress up time it was.

Even though they would really have rather been in the best friend chair…but it was whatever. As long as Mob was happy, that was what mattered.