Dun du dunnn
When you look up at the sky, do you ever wonder if something is out there looking back down on you?
Da dun
Have you ever thought why we have gravity and can't fly like superheroes on TV or Mortal Kombat fighters? GO LU KANG!
Daaaadaaaa
If you think back, and remember that one time that one time you learned how to fish down at the old lake?
...You'll realize… that it has NOTHING to do with the story you are about to read.
dun...
Gotcha.
BOOM!
'We now return for something completely similar.'
Fozzy. Maybe you've heard of them…? Only the greatest heavy metal rock band ever to graze God's green, and blue (why don't they say blue, I mean water DOES make up most of the planet, stupid metaphor writers, or whatever the hell they are called… jerks is what I calls em! ahem.) Earth. Well, after a long break of successful tours in, ahem, Canada, Europe, Australia, America, Guadalajara Mexico… no wait, scratch that last one. Nevertheless, the point is that they deserve a break, and it's about time they got their much needed vacation. And you know that fun and hilarity at someone's expense is going to ensue. Let's watch… er, read. It's commercial free, so I don't get a cent!
"Oh man." Chris put his hands on his hips, stretching his back. "I cannot wait for this vacation."
"You can say that again." The Duke - Rich Ward smiled, relaxed back in the chair.
"Alright. I say, oh man, I cannot wait for this vacation."
Rich opened his eyes a bit, "The object of sarcasm is a foreign language to you isn't it."
"Nani?"
"Well domo aligato Mr. Christopher." Sean –praise 'your daddy' Delord, or very often also known as brother from another mother, or sometimes even just plain uncle- Delson looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "Now if you'd go back to speaking English I'd like to address a situation."
"Shoot."
"Well. The weather report doesn't look to hot."
"Oh yeah! They've got that hot Fox weather girl in there, she didn't get fat did she?" Michael - but call him Mike or he will hit you, and it will hurt - Martin shot up from the couch and ran over.
"Uh, no." Sean rolled his eyes. "It's going to be a very cold day which, with the heavy cumulus nimbus clouds hanging heavily in the sky, could pose some chances for an unwanted downpour of moisture activity in the lower sub tropic atmospheres." Sean looked up to receive nothing but blank stares. He sighed, "Rain, it looks like rain."
"Oooohhhh…."
"Rain, if it's bad it could close down our flight!" Chris jumped up. "It can't rain, no it can't!"
"But it may, unless you've got some kind of machine that deregulates weather patterns."
Chris stared blankly at Sean before shaking his head, "I'm sorry, do I have a what?"
"Never mind." Sean went back to the paper.
"Well what are we going to do?" Mike asked.
"I say we don't worry about it." Everybody's buddy Frank sighed as he zipped up the last of his bags. "We're on vacation now, so we don't have to worry, you know, Hakuna Mattata."
"It means now worries, for the rest of your days." Chris started singing.
Rich spoke with his eyes closed, "Long live the king, and Mufasa dies."
Chris stops, his lip quivers, and he starts to cry, "Oh Mufasa, I couldn't save you!"
Mike took a step back, "Hey, can we put him out in the yard for a while?"
Frank continued, "I say we go to the airport and just see what happens there."
"Alright. Just as long as we don't have to sit coach." Rich folded his arms.
Sean frowned, "Yeah, I remember what happened last time..."
The last time the gang had to all fly in a plane they were stuck next to Jonathan Coachman-
"And what's the DEAL with airline food?"
"If you don't like it, don't eat it." Chris muttered, his bored face resting on one hand.
"And these peanuts, you can't open them for the life of you! I'll bet they take them back unopened and save them for the next flight. Ha, what do you bet these are as old as me?"
"I'll bet they're as stale as your comedy too." Sean was pulling on his hair. Finally he looked at his hands and his eyes grew wide as he saw a small clump was starting to form. Frank did a drum tap for that cheap wisecrack.
"And how about these movies they show, I mean, robot love movies? They have to be THE WORST choices. They're not funny! And to pay for the headsets? You pay enough money to watch a movie you could walk out at home for, for only 5.99!"
"Will somebody shut him up?" Mike asked.
"I got it."Rich stood up and walked off.
"Oh, oh!" Coach laughed. "And the arrival times, you'd think the least they could do before putting you through all this is bring the aircraft around on time." As Coach laughed, Frank came up behind him, holding an object. "I swear, I.." He couldn't finish his closing statement as he got wanged on the back of the head.
"Oh god is he hurt?" Chris gasped, finally awake.
Richfelt the object and shook his head, "No."
Snap back to reality, everyone gave a chuckle at the memory, except Chris, "You know he was really pissed at me at the house show that night, he stole my bath towel and threw my clothes on the floor, pointing and laughing at me the whole time."
"What was it you hit him with anyway?"Frank asked.
"A stale baguette."
Mike raised an eyebrow at Rich, "You hit him with a hard piece of old French bread?"
Richnodded, "Yuh huh."
"Ouch."
"Look, we can talk later guys, we should really head to the airport, the security there should be nuts, we'll have to wait longer if we don't leave now." Sean stood up.
"Yes mother." Chris stood up.
"I'm a dude, I'm your daddy!" Sean growled.
"Oh that's right, Rich is the mother!" Chris laughed. Rich slapped him hard in the face.
"Alright let's go." Rich stood up as well and every grabbed their things.
"I'm not driving!" Chris called after everyone as they went out the door.
"Good!"
"OOHH, unless you rented us a monster truck!"
"Oh man, this is gonna be one of THOSE kinda road trips." Frank sighed to Mike.
On the freeway, traffic was more congested than an allergenic smoker in a field of dry flowers on a windy autumn day... wow that one really sucked, not hardly poetic at all... I shouldn't have called that metaphor guy a jerk earlier. Is it to late to take it back? …yeah. Oh well, on with the show... story...
"I spy with my little eye…" Mike spoke up again.
"You're gonna have a little BLACK eye in a minute if you say what I think you're going to say." Sean clenched a fist.
"Oohh, I spy with my little eye, and angry man!"
Sean went to punch him but Frank stopped, "Easy there, Rocky. Come on guys, it's bad enough Rich has to drive in these conditions without all of the backseat commotion."
"Yeah, it's a real menage twoi back here." Sean grumbled sarcastically.
"Well it could be worse." Mike sighed. "We could be the one driving."
"Are we there yet?" Chris asked in the shotgun.
"No." Rich growled, starting to understand why Homer Simpson got so angry.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"When will we get there?"
"I don't know."
"I gotta go potty."
"I don't care."
"But I'll go in your brand new expensive SUV."
"It's a Ford and it's a rental, I frankly don't give a care."
"Cold." Frank shook his head.
"Are we there now?"
"Will you shut up now?"
"Are we there?"
"NO!"
"Then no."
"Ugh."
"Poor Rich." Mike frowned. "Chris needs to lay off the candy."
"Yeah really. Halloween is Monday, you've only got just the weekend to wait for some free candy." Sean spoke up.
"Yeah." Chris rolled his eyes. "Like any SANE person will give a man in his twenties candy."
"You're 35..."
"You never know." Frank shrugged. "Dress up in a giant rat suit."
"Last time I did I tripped over my own tail and got beat up by a gang of teenagers dressed like a royal court."
"Heheh, classic."
"Frank?"
"Yeah Chris?"
"That was sarcasm."
"Oohh."
"Ba-zing." Mike smirked.
"Please, that was lame." Sean rolled his eyes. "Lamer than the twist ending of the exterminator beingsuicidal in Murder She Wrote."
"Alright, everyone shut up, I'm turning on the radio, let's just listen to that, shut up." Rich turned on the radio and soft melodious twang of country music began to fill the car through the loudspeakers. Everyone screamed and covered their ears.
"The pain, oh the pain!" Mike cried.
"I'm dying, it hurts!" Sean whined.
"Fourth wall, I'm spasing out!" Frank gasped, gripping the armrests.
"My ears are bleeding Rich." Chris frowned puppy dog like at the driver.
"Ugh fine." Rich changed the channel. "Some old lady must've had this minivan before us." The station landed on a news station. Everyone uncovered their ears and let out a sigh of relief as the sounds of the game replaced the prior noise.
"And Shaq goes up for the dunk. OH! Rejected." The announcer commentates the game as the fans gasps in the background are heard.
Chris smiles at the radio and laughs, "Ha, ha, stupid Laker."
"Uh, he's on the Heat now. Miami." Rich corrected.
"Whatever, whatever, he's still stupid."
"So are you, but that's not need to laugh at a poor defenseless radio." Frank smiled, finding it funny.
"Hey I'm hungry." Sean spoke up. "Let's get the colonel."
"Oh, can't, we're not in Kentucky!" Chris sighed, really wanting some chicken.
"Ugh. I'm too popular for this shite." Rich groaned.
Chris looked around the car and then stared blankly forward, "Hey, anyone else getting a weird That 70's Show vibe?"
"You're not high are you?" Sean growled, pointing a finger at Chris, who quickly shook his head no.
-insert stoner music followed by a multi colored tye dye screen here, Rich has passed out, Sean is dancing around in disco style, Frank jumps up partially on the side of the screen with a thumbs up, Mike is frantically trying to pound out of the screen against the glass, and Chris looks like aconfused idiot at the camera-
"Alright we've made it, and I'm still sane enough to board the plane without acting like a monkey and scaring children." Rich pulled up into the parking lot and looked back in the mirror to find blank stares. "Whatever, I can't think up something better to say."
"And that's something best kept to yourself dude." Chris smirked.
"And your therapist." Sean added.
They all got their luggage and put it on the conveyor belt, then entered the airport where the sardine can crowd got their security checks through the metal detectors. Sean growled to himself, clenching a fist, "Man I hope I don't get seated by a baby."
"Take some anger management classes bro." Frank put a hand on his shoulder. "Really."
"Or do a happy little painting." Chris smiled.
"Say Chris, this isn't really a vacation for you is it?" Mike spoke up.
"Why'd you say that?" Chris asked.
"I mean, with all the traveling you had to do when wrestling, airports must've got second nature to you after a while."
"Meh." He shrugged. "So long as the hub here is not like LAX, those bilingual jerks will have you strip down if you're a good looking guy and they're gay. Gag me!"
"Ever happen to you?" Sean asked in comedic interest.
"Uh, no. It, did though, uh, to, um, Coach."
"Ha, awesome." Frank laughed. "Punk deserved it, I'll bet he liked it too." Everyone laughed.
Chris looked around very nervously, "Not really..."
"Alright we're up to the lobby, how long until our flight time?" Rich asked.
Sean looked up to the board, "Hang on, it's in Spanish." They waited and it turned. "Okay now it's in some kind of kanji."
"Japanese." Chris coughed.
"Wow that didn't sound good Chris, maybe you should see a doctor about it." Mike spoke up worried.
Chris groaned angrily, "Maybe you should, those white rubber gloves freak me out!"
"Wait, wait... no that's French." Sean sighed. "German?" A few seconds later. "Brail… wait, what, brail? Why I outta..." Sean rolled up a sleeve and began to advance towards the machine, angrily pounding a fist into his hand.
"No, no wait, let it go!" Mike held him back. "Its back in American."
"English." Chris corrected through gritted teeth.
"Whatever." Mike turned back to the board. "We have until noon."
"Yeah, and so far no rain. Good luck for us eh?" Rich smiled.
"Stupid weather report was wrong." Sean frowned sadly, his faith in the associated press had been let down.
"Wouldn't be the first time." Chris folded his arms smugly.
"Hey look over there." Mike pointed out. "That person."
"Yeah, she looks familiar, who is it?" Frank squinted his eyes, finally the stranger came up.
"Hey guys."
"Now I remember you, you're Daru!"
"Yup."
"Wow, so what are you doing here?" Rich asked after a hug.
"Flying."
"Obviously, to where?"
"Hawaii."
"Wow, nice."
"Yup, won it on a radio contest. If I lost I'd have to go to Alaska." Awkward pause. "Well, gotta run, I'll see you later." Daru began to walk off.
"Wait, already, where are you going?"
"Oh. Well my time is up, see, this was only a cameo and they aren't paying me for any more than 15 seconds." And thenshe was gone.
"Wow. That was odd." Frank scratched his head.
"What's a cameo?" Chris asked, only to be slapped on the back of the head by Rich. He rubbed it and sniffed angrily, "Ow."
"And you call yourself an actor." He sighed and sat down. "We might as well wait here, the terminal is just up there, we can see when the line forms."
"Alright." Sean sat down and pulled out his cell phone.
Mike watched as he dialed, Frank sat down next to him to relax and rest up before the plane arrived, but Mike was more interested in Sean, "What are you doing?"
Sean raised the phone to his ear, "Calling."
"Who, all of us are here?"
Sean raised a finger for him to be quiet and then began to talk, "Hey, hey it's me. So, how are you doing? Yeah? Oh, that's cool. What's that? Aw, yes you are, yes you are!"
Frank finally looked over once Sean began the high pitchedbaby talk, "Who are you talking to, a girlfriend?"
"No, Joe."
"Joe." Everyone dropped their arms to their side.
"Whose a good doggy? Whose a good doggy!" Sean began to make petfussy noises, attracting some looks from passers by, including Daru who began to back away slowly, prenteding to no longer know them. "Daddy misses you, you behave now boy alright? I love you too. Just remember to pee on the newspaper, I don't want no surprises, and I'll bring you a treat! Woof, arf bark!" He hung up and then looked around. "What?"
"Alright, I was wrong." Mike swallowed hard. "Chris doesn't need a doctor, you do."
"How bout a vet?" Chris snickered. "In yo face!"
"Yo momma."
Hours went by and still the plane hadn't arrived. The airport was starting to get thinner and finally a voice spoke up over the loudspeaker: "We regret to inform you that flight 102, Atlanta Delta to JFK New York, has been canceled. We apologize for the delay. Please see a receptionist for ticket rescheduling, thanks, and, have a nice day." The voice then began to repeat the phrase, only in Spanish.
"Have a nice day..? I doubt it." Mike grumbled as Sean groaned loudly.
"I want a refund!" Frank demanded loudly up at te intercom.
"Gracias, y tengen un bienevido dia." Chris snickered, mocking the intercom and making Sean angry again. (And let me just say it now, I DOUBT that's right, and I KNOW my Spanish is rusty but I'm 20 and it's been a few years since high school class, so sorry)
"Great, some trip this turned out to be." Frank sighed. "And above all that, we got to watch Chris throw up from the cafeteria food."
"Hey it wasn't fun for me either." Chris growled, picking a carrot from out of his bangs.
Sean folded his arms, "Well now what do we do?"
"Did you not just hear the multilingual recording lady? We go see a receptionist." Mike spoke up.
"Let's just go get our luggage." Rich sighed sadly and stood up, walking towards the turnstile. "I really needed this vacation too." He picked it up. "Whoa, seems kinda heavy. Here Chris, guys, get your damn stuff already!" Everybody rushed over.
Sean pulled his luggage off of the turn, "Wow, did I really bring this much?"
"Yes." Everyone grumbled.
"Come on, let's go back to the car." Mike hoisted the smaller bag over his shoulder.
"Can't, it was a rental, the company already took it back, assuming we made our flight."
"Aw man, this sucks!" Sean pouted.
"Yeah, you know what happens when you assume. Jerks." Chris growled.
"You make an educated guess based on the little facts you know but without knowledge of the fully informed story?" Frank smiled.
"No, you make an ass outa you and… nah, just you." Chris frowned.
"Gonna be hard to sing without a larynx, Chris." Frank glared at Chris.
Chris stuck out his tongue, "As long as my upper octaves can shatter glass, I'm good."
"Spare him the technical terms, you're just talking to a block." Mike cut in.
"I'll show you a block." Chris smirked sneakily and cracked his knuckles.
Rich just sighed, "Chris? Sit boy!" Chris immediately face planted to the floor.
"Look, let's just call a cab or something." Sean spoke up.
Chris growled and leered up at Rich from all fours, "Go fall down a well already, baby."
"Bite me. Nah, we need something big, like an SUV or something." Rich began to think. "Hmm. Now, who we do we know who has an SUV, who…"
"I can't believe I'm doing this."
"Believe it, because it's true." Rich smiled, folding his arms. "You're just like one of the guys."
"Wait, wasn't that a movie?" Frank raised an eyebrow.
"You all SOOO owe me."
"Add it to our tab pal." Chris nodded with a smug smirk.
"I hate you guys SO much."
"No you don't. Why would you say something like tat?" Sean frowned.
"You know what you interrupted me from?"
"No, what? ...Sex?" Mike grinned widely.
"No, the Wheel Of Fortune marathon!" Eddie DiBergi roared. "Just because I have an SUV. JUST because I have an SUV." Chris began to sing the Wheel Of Fortune melody. Eddie's popping vein twitched, "Cram it Chris!" Chris shut up and frowned sadly.
"Look man, we don't ask for a lot, and we told you we're sorry." Rich apologized.
"No, it's alright."
Finally Eddie dropped the gang off at their house. They took out their luggage and went inside. Eddie sped off home in order to make it in time for the episodes following. VCR anyone? The boys set their luggage on the floor and fell down on the couches and chairs. Chris, being the last one in to close the door, just fell on the floor.
"Ow."
"You alright?" Rich looked up.
"I landed on my keys."
Mike sighed, "Man that adventure sure blew."
"Felt like some kinda Futurama meetsAmerican Dadcrossover to me, only not as creative or funny... like The Simpsons and Family Guy might be." Chris looked up, still laying stomach down on the floor. "Hope nobody gets sued for copyright infringements, cough."
"Dang I tell you see a doctor for that cough!" Mike cried.
Chris to just growl again from the annoyance, "I think it's YOU who needs help."
"So. We gonna reschedule or what?"
"Nah, we can't Frank, we've got gigs coming up in the states, remember?" Sean replied.
"Right. Man that sucks, we wasted our vacation time, now we'll have to spend the remainder here around this crap hole town."
"Hey." Mike frowned at Frank.
"We'll just get our money back, but let's do it tomorrow, I'm beat." Rich closed his eyes.
"Might as well unpack our stuff." Chris began to open his case. "And now I'll never be able to show off my scantily revealing speedo."
"And I won't be able to have a chance to show off my birthday suit to somebody's mother." Sean said.
"Alright man, enough with the 'yo mamma' jokes already." Mike groaned.
"NEVER!"
"Hey guys, does anyone else think something's weird with the luggage?" Frank asked.
"Yeah, mine was feeling a bit odd too now that I think about it." Rich sat up.
"Something's going on." Chris leered down at his luggage. "And I think I know what it, IS!" He opened the zipper, expecting to find things taken out or messed with, but instead everything burst out flying through the room, followed by somebody toppling over on the floor in front of him. "What the…?" He shrieked in shock, then cleared his throat to regain his composure. "Alright, who packed a chick in my bag? Ha, ha." Sarcastic laugh.
The girl shook her head to regain her bearings and looked up with a gasp to see Chris look back down at her, just as surprised, she gulped and cowered a bit, "Hi...?"
Chris leered down and folded his arms, trying to be a bit stern, "Little girl, explain yourself."
"LITTLE? Uh, uh." She looked around. "Hey, this isn't the LA airport!"
"Thank god." Chris shuddered from the memories. "But who are you?"
"I'm from the forum, I'm one of your biggest fans!"
"They all say that kid, refresh my memory again, which one were you?"
"I'm Y2Jen, but you can call me Jen."
"Oh okay… wait, who?"
"Fee, fie, foe, fum. Look who stowed away in MY luggage." Sean opened the suitcase and Jennie flopped out. Sean put his hands on his hips. "Young lady?"
Jennie looked up sheepishly, evilly playing the innocence card, "Hi Uncle Seanie! I just wanted to play with your shoes. HAIL! All praise!" She bowed, as did Jen.
"Aw, I can't resist staying angry at you!" Sean cooed cutely as he held his hands together over his niece. Jennie just smiled smartly over at Jen who winked back happily.
Chris frowned, "Lucky her."
"I wonder who could be hiding in our bed, er I mean, suitcase." Rich opened his to have two people poke their heads out. He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Guys...?"
"Hi Richard." James and Lisa smiled up blushing from under his clothes.
"Not this again." He sighed, putting his face into one hand. "I told you guys both 'no' back in Iowa!"
"Hey look who it is!" Mike smiled as Hister stepped out of his small towe bag, dusting himself off and straitening his shirt professionally. "Wow, how did you manage to fit in there?" Mike looked inside, wondering if it was a magic bag like from that Felix cartoon.
"Righty-o, I mean, I dunno." Hister cracked his shoulders.
Frank opened his bags and dumped them all out on the floor, out came all of his belongings, followed by Jenny, "Ah, it's her, she's gonna eat me again!"
"Cookies, cookies!" Jenny jumped up and began to chase Frank around the house, acting all blood thirsty. Frank cried out as Jenny made monsterously ravenous sounds. Everyone watched them go confused. Anime sweat-drops much?
"There's another one who needs a doctor." Mike pointed out. Chris tapped his finger on his arm with impatience.
"Look, what we're you all doing in our bags anyway?" Rich asked.
"Dunno." Hister shrugged and looked around. "Jennie I can understand, and James and Lisa too, but I dunno how the violent one and I ended up in there. Maybe my closet is a secret gateway like in that Sabrina the teenage witch show."
"Ahem?"
"Huh? Oh and you, heya Jen."
"Yo yourself." Jen frowned.
"Look, why stalk me and not some chick?" Mike asked.
"We weren't stalking." Jennie put her hands angrily on her hips, making a pouty face.
"Well we were going to surprise you in New York…"
"That's right I'd better cancel the reservation." Rich picked up the phone.
Hister leered at him, hating to be interrupted, "But since you never made it, we might as well do it here." Hister turned to James and Lisa, they nodded, he then turned to Jen and Jennie, they nodded. Hister nodded and turned back just as Jenny and Frank ran back into the room. "Ahem. Everyone…?"
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"
James and Lisa turned into a two headed giant strongman who looked like a cave troll of King Of The Ring, err Lord Of The Rings sorts. They roared fire as Rich screamed, then fainted back onto the recliner, the phone left hanging off the hook. Jenny changed into a blood covered Jason and began to chase screaming Frank again with her wielding chainsaw. Jennie morphed into a giant shoe and began to try to step on Sean, who was now only wearing a bathrobe. He screamed and dodged each attempt. Hister turned into a vampire and began to chase Mike.
Chris looked around at all the commotion and fearing screams, then put his hands on his hips in slight annoyance, "Hey, now where's my spooky surprise?"
"Ahem, down here."
"Huh?" Chris looked down to see a meek smiling Jen on all fours dressed up as a black cat, ears tail and all. Then she frowned and hissed, bearing her claws. "AH!" Chris cried and picked her up, stroking her. "What a cute little kitty cat!" Jen was shocked and began to growl with her fangs but then purr as Chris pet her every so nicely.
"Grr."
"Row?" Jen looked up at the growl to see Joe, Sean's little dog appear in the doorway. "AH! MEOW!" She jumped out of Chris's arms and ran off.
"Howl!" Joe chased her around the house.
Chris looked around at everyone getting scared and chased, shrugged, and sat down on the floor in front of the television, "I wonder if anything good is on." He picked up the bowl of Halloween candy and began to scarf it down (plus wrappers) asThe OCtheme played. "AH!" He changed the channel to a new one asSeinfeld started. "Ahh, slightly better… hey wait." He stopped and looked down at the popcorn sized bowl of treats. "Hmm, now how did this get here?"
"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?"
Chris looked around, "What the, w-who was that talking just now?" He grew fearful. "Bernie Mac, is that you...?"
The voice's laughter echoed through the house, "Who knows, the shadow knows."
"AH!" Chris threw the bowl into the air and ran off. "It's the 1940's again, I've gone back in time, the cosmos have been thrown out of wack, the sky is falling, AH!"
"Hey, if anyone comes by, like the cops, tell em I'm not home." Joe runs off as sirens blare and stop outside the house, the red lights flashing through the cracks in the blinds.
Chris watches the little dog run off, "D-did that thing just talk…?"
The voice continued to laugh, "Happy Halloween! Muahaha!"
And so, Halloween came early for the boys of Fozzy. Rich was able to tame James and Lisa to turn back to normal by playing some of his guitar. Sean gave Jennie a pair of orange socks to quell her evil spirits. Frank bought Jenny some cookies, and they were acceptable enough to let the chasing end, though then she did become hyper from the sugar. The sun came up and Hister returned to normal, unaware of the strange transformations that made him forget the events of the night. Mike was safe and found with no bite marks on his neck. Jen got stuck up a in a tree and Chris had to spray off Joe with a hose. Sean punched Chris in the jaw and now he has to go to the dentist on Monday. No candy for him. Rich was able to get the money back from the tickets and hotel rooms, and the gigs in the US went off without a hitch, they rocked out and the fans loved it. The boys did get drunk during the after parties though. And no evidence was found to prove true that Joe attacked some redneck in their pickup truck, so he was let off the hook by the dogcatchers... but that's another story for another day. Meanwhile that redneck has gone missing, for reward information check your local news stations. And just for the record, Coach sued the Chris and the airport for making false allegations at his expense. So all in all, everything ended happily for everyone as everything returned to normal. Except for poor Mr. Eddie, he never did catch those last few episodes of Wheel of Fortune…
-What you've just read is true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent-
NOT!