Here we are again... Thanks to the whole 2 people who reviewed on my recently added chapters, even though I got tons of hits on it. Really, it makes me feel so wonderful when I get tons of hits and nobody reviews. -.-

This story is just getting crazier and crazier. This chapter may be too difficult for some to read without dying from laughing. I swear it's all from listening to hyperactive JPop and eating lots 'n' lots of sugar. Be warned...

Chapter 4: Things That Go BUMP in the Night

he wasn't feeling the least bit sleepy, due to the fact that he was laying on a mat, on the floor. Mats don't keep the floor from being hard. He had been laying the way he was for the past hour, at least, and was just about to get up and head to the kitchens for a snack, when he heard a loud bang, followed by a yell. The poor boy nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Gan Ning… Hey, Gan Ning!" he hissed into the darkness frantically. When he heard no reply, he panicked and crawled over to the bedside, grabbing the pirate's arm and shaking him roughly. "Gan Ning! WAKE UP!" he whispered loudly.

Lu Xun lay on his back uncomfortably, staring blankly up at the ceiling. To tell the truth,

Said pirate merely made an irritated growling noise and rolled over. Lu Xun, frowning, stood up and pulled on Gan Ning's arm so roughly, the pirate fell out of bed and onto the floor.

"AGH!" Gan Ning yelled loudly in surprise, as he grabbed his sword from the floor and jumped up, whirling around to face Lu Xun, who let out a shrieking noise and ducked quickly. "DIE, SCUM! HOW DARE YOU TRY TO SNEAK UP ON GAN NING… of… the… bells? Hey, Lu Xun, why're you under the bed?"

Lu Xun crawled out from under the bed shakily, laughing nervously. "Oh, heh… heh… No reason. I was… ahem… checking for dust bunnies."

Gan Ning rose an eyebrow and nodded his head ever so slightly. "Eh… uh huh…"

"Never mind that, though. Did you hear that bang a few minutes ago?"

"What bang?"

"The bang that was loud…. And was followed by a yell?"

"Nope, can't say that I -- Hey! HEY! What're you doing!"

Lu Xun had grabbed the pirate's arm in a grip that you wouldn't guess possible for someone of his size, and proceeded to drag the pirate towards the door. He opened it slowly, hoping it wouldn't make any noise, but the hinges made a noise somewhat similar to that of nails on a chalkboard. Gan Ning grimaced and attempted to pull his arm free so he could cover his ears, but Lu Xun only held tighter, holding a finger up to his lips and shushing him.

"We need to find out what the scream was about!" Lu Xun snapped quietly before releasing Gan Ning and shoving him lightly out the door.

"Alright, alright. Yeesh…" the pirate muttered as he crept down the hallway, the young strategist following closely behind him.

As the two continued to creep down the hallway, another loud bang sounded, and Lu Xun gave another loud shriek and jumped so far forward, he ended up piggy back style on poor Gan Ning's back. There was a loud bang in the room right next to them and the door swung open to reveal a very horrified looking Sun Ce, holding a purple stuffed bear.

There was silence for a few moments before Gan Ning screamed and pointed at Sun Ce, causing Lu Xun to start shrieking again, and then finally causing Sun Ce to squeal loudly. They continued to scream loudly until there was another loud crash from the bedroom and Zhou Yu stumbled out quickly, waving his sword around like a madman.

"WHO'S INVADING!" he yelled loudly.

The other three generals stopped their screaming and gave Zhou Yu an odd look. He lowered his sword and looked at each of them in turn, then smiled sheepishly. Sun Ce burst out laughing, and dropped his purple teddy bear. There was massive struggle between Lu Xun and Gan Ning as the pirate tried to force him to get off of his back. The pirate then noticed the purple teddy bear and bent over to pick it up.

"What the hell… is this?" he asked, proceeding to squeeze the bear and causing it to make a squeaking noise.

"Gimme my Bobo!" Sun Ce whined, reaching out for his stuffed bear. Gan Ning merely put his hand out onto Sun Ce's chest, and examined the bear closely.

"Bobo?"

"That's his stuffed teddy bear." Zhou Yu informed him.

Gan Ning was about to reply when the loud bang sounded again, causing Lu Xun to once again shriek loudly. Sun Ce whirled around, totally forgetting Bobo, and stared at Zhou Yu suspiciously, as if he had made the loud bang. He opened his mouth to inquire, when the door across the hallways burst open, and Sun Quan came flying out with his sword, and Zhou Tai following behind him.

"WHO INVADING!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Zhou Yu gave him an incredulous look as he raised an eyebrow. "Quan, that's been used already."

Zhou Tai stared at the other's for a minute before asking, "What's going on?"

"I don't know, but that's the third bang in the past 10 minutes." Lu Xun replied after detaching himself from Gan Ning who had proceeded to practically strangle him in his fright.

Sun Quan, having calmed down slightly, examined the purple bear that Gan Ning had thrown on the floor. "Hey, Ce….. Isn't that Bobo? I though you got rid of him 15 years ago…"

Sun Ce snatched his precious teddy bear up off of the floor and threw it at Zhou Yu. "Nope. That's Zhou Yu's teddy. Not mine. What a freak, eh?"

The teddy bear hit Zhou Yu in the face, as the man turned to give his best friend a disturbed and somewhat irritated look. "MY bear? I don't think so. Who was flipping out because they though Wei was invading to take it?"

"AHA! So someone IS invading, huh! SO WHERE ARE THEY!" Sun Quan shouted again, raising his sword once more and waving it wildly. Zhou Tai, fearing the safety of his head, grabbed the sword and threw it back into the bedroom.

"Sir, please don't swing that around like that. You're going to injure someone."

"So…. Hey, do you guys want to come with me and Gan Ning to find out what all that banging is?" Lu Xun questioned, already motioning towards the pirate who had turned around and was heading back down the hallway. "GAN NING! Get back here! You wimp!"

That was the last straw. He could throw him on the floor, jump on him in fright, scream in his ear… but he could not, I repeat, could NOT call him a wimp. He turned around and headed past Lu Xun, grabbing the boy's arm and dragging him along with him as he headed further into the dark and somewhat disturbingly creepy depths of Wu's castle. The other's followed in a more delayed and cautious pace, but did follow nevertheless.

"So what are we looking for?" asked Sun Ce, clutching the purple teddy bear he had taken back from Zhou Yu.

"Clues, obviously." stated Sun Quan, looking back at his brother. "Hey, didn't you say that wasn't yours?"

"It's not." replied Sun Ce. "I'm merely holding it for Zhou Yu."

Sun Quan rolled his eyes and hurried after Zhou Tai.

The group proceeded down the hallway quietly… or, as quietly as possible with random banging noises that made Lu Xun shriek like a little girl, and caused Sun Ce to practically tear off Zhou Yu's arm. Zhou Tai and Zhou Yu remained perfectly calm, both thinking there was a perfectly normal conclusion to the noises that continued to get louder and louder. At one point, a door slammed open behind Sun Quan, causing him to yelp loudly and jump forward, practically strangling Zhou Tai in the grip he had as he jumped into his arms, wrapping both arms around his neck.

"Are you… hugging him!" came an awed voice.

Zhou Tai dropped Sun Quan immediately as everyone turned to stare at the newcomers: Jiang Wei and Zhao Yun. The speaker, Zhao Yun, continued to stare at Zhou Tai in surprise and awe, as Jiang Wei stood, glaring at the taller general. He rolled his eyes and wandered over to Zhou Yu.

"The banging woke him up, and that… that buffoon got all freaked out." Jiang Wei commented, jerking his thumb angrily back at Zhao Yun, who was now asking Zhou Tai if he had something he wanted to tell everyone.

"The banging woke us up, too. We're on our way to find out what it is. Do you want to come?" Lu Xun piped up, coming to stand next to Zhou Yu.

"ZHOU YU! I DROPPED BOBO SOMEWHERE!" Sun Ce suddenly screamed, looking around wildly. When Sun Quan rose an eyebrow, he cleared his throat and forced himself to seem calm. "Erm… I mean, Zhou Yu, I think I dropped your bear somewhere."

Zhou Yu gave a long sign before turning to Sun Ce and grabbing both of his shoulders. "Sun Ce, I want you to listen closely… I. Do. Not. Own. Your. Stuffed. Bear."

"Uh… heh… he's just joking. What a joker!" Sun Ce said slowly, forcing a laugh out.

"Aha! I knew it! You never got rid of Bobo after all! Ohoho… Just wait 'til SunShang finds out." Sun Quan said evilly, rubbing the palms of his hands together.

Sun Ce lunged at Sun Quan, but Zhou Yu grabbed him around the waist and held him back, ranting about how it wasn't young Quan's time to be mauled by someone as highly skilled as Sun Ce. All talking stopped when there was a bang, much louder than any of the previous bangs, followed by a yell so loud, that Jiang Wei covered his ears.

"FOR THE LOVE OF ALL GODS! WILL YOU STOP THAT!" came a hoarse yell as Cao Pi came flying out of a nearby room, fuming angrily. Zhang He followed him at a somewhat more leisurely pace.

"My lord… I was sleeping so peacefully, too." he pouted.

Everyone stared at them. His hair was slightly disheveled, and Cao Pi was flushed brightly. Not to mention the fact that Cao Pi was naked from the waist up, and Zhang He was only wearing an oversized shirt. They stood speechless for a few moments, before Zhao Yun cleared his throat.

"Erm… you two weren't… y'know… doing it, were you?" he questioned slowly.

As soon as those words left his mouth, Cao Pi gave him a death glare that almost made the whole of China blow up, as Zhang He opened his mouth and began giggling. He slid over to Cao Pi and wrapped his arms around him from the back, chewing on the edge of his ear thoughtfully.

"Why, no, of course not, dear Zhao Yun." he said, winking and cocking his head to one side.

Cao Pi shoved him away and glared at him. "DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!"

"So you WERE!" Zhao Yun exclaimed brightly.

"NO!" Zhang He and Cao Pi yelled at the same time. Everyone else merely raised their eyebrows and continued down the hallway, attempting to ignore the disturbingly disheveled men.

Zhang He was the first to call after them. "Hey, where are you going?"

Zhao Yun stopped and turned. "Oh, we're going to find out what the banging is. You just go back to your merry little time together."

"WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!" Cao Pi shrieked, rushing after the growing group.

Another bang sounded, this time much closer, and Lu Xun turned towards the door next to him. He stared at it for a moment before turning the knob and pushing the door gently open. The other random members of their little investigation squad crowded around to see what was going on. Before them was the most freakish sight that any would see in their entire lives.

Zhuge Liang was kneeling on the bed, laughing and pointing at Sima Yi, who seemed to have locked himself into the closet. As soon as he heard the nasty nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of the door opening, Zhuge Liang fell back onto the bed and pretended he was asleep. Jiang Wei rushed through the open door and looked around. The whole rooms floor was covered in books and other random objects, such as a random chair that seemed to have been thrown at someone.

"Prime Minister, what happened?" Jiang Wei asked, standing next to the bed and giving Zhuge Liang an awed glance.

Zhuge Liang sat up slowly. "Oh, nothing. Nothing at all."

"HE LIES! THAT MAN IS A NUTCASE! HE LOCKED ME IN THE CLOSET! HELP! I'M GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH! I EVEN THREW A CHAIR AT HIM, AND HE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO DODGE IT!" came a violent and crazed sounding scream, followed by the sound of fists slamming on the closet door.

Zhou Yu had now entered the room, and was glaring evilly at Zhuge Liang. "What a loser."

At this comment, Sima Yi started laughing hysterically. "Oh yea, like you could do any better, pretty boy."

"Better than this, yes. I, at least, would've broken the chair." Zhou Yu argued back from a safe distance away from the closet.

Sun Ce was looking between Zhuge Liang, Sima Yi, and Zhou Yu, before covering his gaping mouth and preventing the scream that escaped him. "OH MY GOD! I WAS WRONG! IT'S SIMA YI, ISN'T IT! YOU'VE LIKED HIM ALONG! NOT ZHUGE LIANG!"

Zhou Yu fell over in shock, as did Zhuge Liang, who fell off the bed, and from the loud crash heard from inside the closet, it sounded as if Sima Yi had either died painfully and loudly, or fallen over, or maybe both.

"MY LORD! I SWEAR IF YOU EVER SAY ANYTHNIG LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WILL REVEAL THE TRUTH BEHIND BOBO TO THE WHOLE WORLD!"

"NOOOO! ZHOU YU! DON'T MENTION SOMETHING SO PRECIOUS IN FRONT OF THE STRATEGIST! THEY'LL INVADE!" Sun Ce squealed at the top of his lungs.

This remark caused 4 of the generals involved in the situation to draw their weapons.

"WHO'S INVADING!" shouted Gan Ning, swinging his large sword dangerously close to Lu Xun's head, who once again shrieked and ducked.

"I KNEW IT! AND YOU SAID I WAS CRAZY!" yelled Sun Quan, his sword magically in his hand, so he could swing it around wildly once again.

Sun Ce had randomly picked up the chair, and held it defensively. "I knew it! I KNEW IT! THEY'RE AFTER ME!"

"No, sir, they're only after Bobo." Zhou Yu stated calmly.

After a delayed moment, Zhao Yun pulled out his spear from midair and slammed it into the ground, giving a high-pitched battle cry. "I SHALL DEFEND THIS LAND FOR HONOR! DIE INVADERS OF CASTLE!"

There was the sound of things falling over, and then a soft knock on the closet door. Everyone silenced themselves and turned. Lu Xun answered, "Who is it?"

"Who's invading? Is it us? I wanna know!" Sima Yi whined.

At this point, Zhang He randomly to speak up. "OH MY GOSH! MY BELOEVED STRATEGIST IS LOCKED IN A CLOSET! MY LORD, WHAT'RE WE DOING, INVADING WITH OUR STRATEGIST LOCKED IN A CLOSET!"

Cao Pi gave Zhang He the most confused look he had ever given anybody in his life. "We're invading?"

"HE EVEN SAID IT! ATTACK! WE'RE BEING INVADED!" shouted Sun Ce, chucking the chair at Cao Pi, and knocking him flat on his back, and unconscious.

"I think you killed him…" Zhou Yu commented lazily as he stared down at Cao Pi's body.

"No, he's not dead. Look, he's twitching." Jiang Wei stated quietly in a bored voice.

Zhuge Liang attempted to sneak by and leave the room, but before he even made it to the door, his student had to glomp him. "NOOOO, PRIME MINISTER! I LOST YOU ONCE, I WILL NOT LOSE YOU AGAIN!"

"I suppose I'm not allowed to go to the bathroom?" asked Zhuge Liang, trying to pry off the hyperactive and very creepily attached young man. "Please let go of me. I think you're strangling me."

Jiang Wei released him, and followed him out of the room. Shrugging, Zhou Yu left also, dragging Sun Ce, who was still ranting about being invaded and losing Bobo with him. Zhou Tai grabbed Sun Quan's magically appearing sword and dragged the young lord away. Zhang He gave Cao Pi's corpse a good look before nudging it with his foot, shrugging, and leaving. Zhao Yun stood in a victory pose, laughing triumphantly over having beaten Cao Pi, even though he did not throw the chair.

After Zhao Yun had finally finished laughing, and left the room, Cao Pi still on the floor, there was a loud knock, followed by the sound of someone kicking a door. "Hello? Can somebody let me out of here? Anybody? Helloooo?".
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Sooooo... did this chapter scare anybody else? It scared ME and I'm the one that wrote it. Too much sugar. Way, way too much sugar.
Oh, and make sure you review. Lots of reviewing. It makes me happy.