Hatori Nozomu did not get sent on missions.

Before Mob pulled him into the entourage/friendship house he'd been mostly a floater. He had mostly been the guy who kept the WIFI going with occasional dips into various forms of industrial sabotage and money laundering. The biggest mission he had ever been on had been completely destroying some company or other. It hadn't bene nearly as exciting as it sounded. Just stealing a shit ton of data messing a shit ton of data up, and then essentially setting fire to the whole thing. It had been short and over quickly, and honestly pretty boring, but it had at least been something that he understood. He had at least known what had been going on….

Right now he didn't have the first clue what he was supposed to be doing.

"So…what are we doing here?" asked Shibata from his spot across from Hatori. This was…a mission. He had woken up to mission parameters and…well he didn't much like missions, it was mostly just hitting people until they either agreed to whatever or stopped moving, but at least he understood those missions. Right now he had no idea what he was even supposed to be doing. His instructions had been to dress nice, some to this hotel, and then await further instructions. Well he had dressed nice, he was at the hotel, and he had been rushed over to a table…where Hatori had been sitting….

And he was really looking forward to those further instructions because right now he had no idea what he was even supposed to be doing.

"I…don't know. The mission just said to dress nice and come here…and then there would be more instructions." Said Hatori as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. A gift from Suzuki. A shirt for a shirt, he had said, and not a Valentine's Day gift. No, he had been very clear on that. He was not interested in Hatori, never would be, but that was alright because Hatori was a good catch and someone would be happy to have him. Suzuki's own words. He also said that weird thing about how if Hatori had been a girl…but he didn't want to think about that right now.

He didn't want to think about anything related to Valentine's Day.

"Same for me. I was just told to come here and then….wait." said Shibata as he shifted in his seat. This chair was actually big enough for him. It was so hard to find chairs that could fit him, even in a country like this where the people were on the bigger side, but this chair was perfect…and also not like anyone else's. They all had regular size chairs and he had…well it felt like someone had thought of him. He just…got that feeling. He had been ushered to this table and sat down…like he'd been expected….

But that was crazy.

"What are we waiting for?" asked Hatori as he played with the place setting in front of him. This was one of those places where there were cloth napkins and real table clothes and the glasses were made of glass and they put bread baskets on the table along with fancy butter. This butter was in the shape of a heart, probably because it was Valentine's Day, and Hatori wasn't entirely sure if he was allowed to eat it. He was hungry, this was usually the time when Shibata had dinner going, but…well he had no idea if he was supposed to eat or meet someone here or….well….anything.

Suzuki had just said to be at this place at this time dressed in the shirt he'd gotten him….this stiff and itchy shirt.

"No idea…and don't pull at your shirt like that, you'll stretch it out. I'll wash it with some fabric softener when we get home and then I'll let it air dry." Said Shibata

"You don't have to do that, I can do my own laundry. You taught me, remember?" asked Hatori

"I remember…and I also remember that you skip the fabric softener a lot of the time." Said Shibata

"Sometimes I forget to set a timer for the rinse cycle, so sue me." Said Hatori

"Over the laundry, no, over the way you hoard dishes in your room? Yes." said Shibata

"Hey, I bring them out eventually." Said Hatori

"Yeah, when the ants get to-

"Sparkling water?" asked a waiter. Hatori almost jumped right out of his seat. He didn't, thankfully, but his foot did hit the table. People turned to look at him…and now he was getting stares. Shibata just reached out and patted him on the shoulder.

"Sorry about him, he's kind of jumpy….and yes please, we'd love some sparkling water." Said Shibata as he held out his glass. He was careful as he picked it up. Glasses, ones made of actual glass, had a tendency to shatter in his hands. He couldn't afford to have that happen now. Hatori was embarrassed enough. He was such a fragile little guy, so much more fragile than most people. Jumpier than most people, too, the only man he'd ever met in his life that was more high stung than Hatori Nozomu was Serizawa.

Not that Shibata could fault Serizawa for being the way he was, though, or Hatori for that matter either. They were both products of their lives like all people were.

"Arigato….thank you." Said Hatori. Right English…he wasn't that good at English. Shibata was somehow better than he was…well that wasn't fair. Shibata was a pretty smart guy when you got to know him. He was pretty much the only one keeping the friendship house afloat. Without him they would have been sitting in their own filth living off of chips and soda. So pretty much the past five years of his life. He wondered what his life would have been like if he'd had someone like Shibata in it sooner…

He would have smelled a hell of a lot better that was for sure.

"God, I haven't had sparkling water in forever." Said Shibata

"Why don't you put it on the list? We get pretty much whatever we want. It's all in the living expenses budget." Said Hatori

"It's best fresh and I would get us a carbonator but I feel like that would be way too much temptation for Shimazaki." Said Shibata

"Yeah, he's like a little kid sometimes. I think he's got something wrong with him. I mean the way he grew up and all." said Hatori

"I feel like he exaggerates what his life was like." Said Shibata

"He doesn't…he really doesn't….and don't ask me how bad it gets because I don't want to talk about it." Said Hatori

"I can only imagine." Said Shibata with a shake of his head. He knew that Shimazaki had an interesting relationship with the truth…but he also knew that Shimazaki had been through a lot in his life. He had a lot of scars, it was hard to tell with the tattoos but he had them, and then there was that condition that Minegishi said that he had where he forgot the he existed if someone wasn't paying attention to him twenty four hours a day. It must have been terrible being Shimazaki Ryou…almost as terrible as it was to live with Shimazaki Ryou.

"Don't. You don't want to even imagine how bad it gets. Today or any other day." Said Hatori. That…was not a box he wanted to open. That was not a box that needed opening. That was a box that needed to stay closed forever like that time when he had been ten and he had decided to see what would happen if he left a tuna sandwich in a box in the back of his closet…but somehow worse.

"What's so special about today…wait, no, it's Valentine's Day. Sorry, don't know where my head was for a second." Said Shibata. Right, Valentine's Day. He'd been planning on making a nice heart shaped red velvet cake for everyone, and he might have still had the time if this mission ended soon, even if it meant going back home and listening to Shimazaki and Minegishi carry on. He was glad that the two of them were in love and all…but couldn't they be in love a little more quietly? Or at least without Shimazaki's running description of what was happening? And Minegishi's constant screaming over every little thing that he did to them? There was no way that anyone could have been that good…or maybe he was just being a little bit bitter since it had been so long for him.

Or maybe he just wanted to bake a cake.

That was the thing to do when you had feelings that you didn't like. Like mom had always said, it was best to forget your troubles with a big slice of chocolate cake. Not that he had bad thoughts that often….well ones that weren't justified. Living with Shimazaki was a challenge. Everyone else, even Serizawa, was easier to live with than him. Still, though, these were his friends and this was his posting for the foreseeable future so he had better get used to it.

It wasn't all bad, though, he got to hang out with Hatori.

"Yeah….it's Valentine's Day…" said Hatori. He looked around at all the men and women around him. Every single table was for two. Man on one side, woman on the other, some had two women, some had two men…like the table that he was sitting at right now…but that was just…a coincidence….Suzuki wouldn't have….

Yes. Yes he would have.

Suzuki was….well not crazy….well actually he was pretty crazy….but not like crazy-crazy. More like…well he did kill people and shit…but also…he had no idea what was and was not ok. Like all the questions he asked, or how rude he could be, or how he didn't know that setting two people up on a blind date was a really bad idea and…

And he was just trying to be a good friend….which meant that he was making progress towards being less crazy…even if he was progressing into more of a weirdo.

"What's up?" asked Shibata. Hatori was scared of something. His aura was being weird and his eyes were doing that thing where he looked for all of the exits. Was he shy in crowds? He wasn't usually but he was still growing…and also he was incredibly fragile too.

"It's Valentine's Day." Said Hatori as soon as he found his voice. There were couples on all side of him. To the left and the right and….and he was dressed like this…and Shibata was dressed up too…and he knew that hoping that they were just meeting a contact or something here was stupid. Suzuki shipped him with Shibata….and….and it could have been worse. Suzuki shipped him with Fukuda too despite having a massive crush on the asshole himself…or maybe because he had a crush on the asshole…or…

This could have been worse. He could have been sitting across from Fukuda.

"I know…I just said so. Did you have plans today? I mean I know we have a mission…not sure what kind of mission would have us both here together…but maybe if we wrap it up quickly then you can get to your date-" said Shibata

"No, you don't get it. This is a date-" said Hatori

"Would you two like to look at the wine list? Tonight we have an excellent-" said the waiter as he leaned over with a tiny book. Shibata reached for it, Hatori could tell, and he knew that if he got them a bottle of wine then this would actually turn into a date…and he didn't want this to turn into a date! He'd never been on one before and…and he had no idea what to do…and also….also he liked girls! No, not girls. That would be wrong. Grown women! He was into grown women around his age! Not girls and not guys….

But Suzuki needed to think that he was into guys so he didn't kill him for thinking that Hatori might have been into his little girl.

"Yes, that's fine. A bottle of that." Said Hatori with a wave of his hand. He needed a drink. He needed two drinks. He needed…he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He needed to check his phone and…and he needed a fucking drink.

"You know…you really shouldn't drink." Said Shibata. Bad things happened when Hatori drank. He made himself sick, he cried, he mistook sinks for urinals…thought that time had bene because Shimazaki had drugged him…but still. He wasn't in the mood to clean vomit out of a white shirt and he wasn't in the mood, either, to walk Hatori to the bathroom and hold it for him again either.

He considered the two of them to be friends but even he had his limits.

"I need a drink. I need a drink now more than at any other time in my life. Suzuki…that fucking…friend of mine just…hang on, I'm texting him." said Hatori as he pulled out his phone. There, a text from Suzuki…he opened it…

'Don't drink. You make bad choices when you drink.' Said Suzuki. Hatori looked around…he was being watched. He was being watched to make sure that he fulfilled this date mission….thing. Any of the people around him could have been the informant…and he didn't know…well he did and he didn't…he could feel a thousand phones all around him. This was a hotel restaurant. There were people everywhere…and there was another hotel across the street…and this was just…too much. Too many people and too much and…

And he was on a date with Shibata. His first date.

"What does he have to say? Does he have any more instructions for us? I mean I know that we shouldn't drink during a missing but I feel like this might be recon so we should blend in…but I don't know. Obviously I've never done a recon mission before. That's more your area." Said Shibata

"No, I'm mostly tech support and industrial sabotage….and Suzuki says not to drink because I make bad choice when I drink…he's one to talk….damn it…" said Hatori

"What's wrong?" asked Shibata

"Suzuki just set us up on a date. He ships us and…well he thinks that I'm gay and-" said Hatori

"Are you? I mean you spend a lot of time with him…and you're pretty much the only person who has good things to say about him…and Shimazaki says-" said Shibata

"Shimazaki is a liar. I'm not…I don't know what I am. Alright?" asked Hatori. He was being watched. Whatever he said could get back to Suzuki. Suzuki…did not like liars. He considered liars to be traitors and terrible things happened to traitors. Things that he did not want to even think about.

"Oh. Well you might be a little bi…I think I might be, sometimes, but it's not like I meet enough people to be able to tell anyway." Said Shibata

"Yes, I noticed that about you….and Shimazaki's said some stuff but he's a liar so I take it with a grain of salt." Said Hatori

"Yeah, about that-" said Shibata rubbing the back of his head. Maybe not the best conversation but well….it wasn't like he was opposed to the idea of…things. With Hatori. He was a nice person and Shibata had never thought about him like that before but…well he was nice. And he cleaned up nice too. There was something cute about him. Something in the glasses, maybe, or that red sweater with the hearts on it…he always worse really festive sweaters around the holidays. Yeah, he was a pretty nice guy….

Most of the time.

"What the fuck?" muttered Hatori. He had been about to toss his phone into his sparkling water. That had been….Suzuki had eyes and ears on him and they were close enough to see and hear…unless he had that guy who could project himself outside of his body or the one who could make ethereal clones…but…Suzuki wouldn't have been that invested in this date….right?

Yes. Of fucking course he would have been.

"What's he saying now?" asked Shibata craning forward to see Hatori's screen. The table groaned under his weight and he stopped quickly. Right. Know your own weight, Hiroshi, it's been about thirty years now.

"He says not to talk about other, more attractive men, on dates. He says that it's a rule for dating women but it might transfer over to men too. Also he says not to eat anything with garlic, anything made from fish, and anything that might make me sick later…and not to drink too much wine because I make bad choices and drinking impairs consent….what in the hell…?" said Hatori. Well now…now he had entered the Twilight Zone or something. That was….boundaries. He needed to talk to Suzuki about boundaries….and talking about your friend's sex life…not that Hatori even had one…and not that he was about to change that now.

Even if Suzuki had, apparently, planned this whole evening in advance.

"Can I see?" asked Shibata

"Here." Said Hatori

"Wow…yeah. He…said all of that. Cool. So…is this our mission then?" asked Shibata. Well President Suzuki was at least a good friend…in his own way. He had taken the time to warn Hatori about drinking too much, about how he could have been taken advantage of, and Shibata…he knew that he came off that way…but it still hurt…but at least President Suzuki was being a good friend to Hatori.

Maybe Suzuki's wife hadn't been cucking him like Shimazaki had been saying….well of course she hadn't. Shimazaki was full of lies.

"Let me ask him…he says yes. He also says that the roast beef here is to die for and they even have ketchup for it….good ketchup apparently." Said Hatori

"What is it with him and ketchup?" asked Shibata

"I think his sense of taste might be off…or something. I don't know. This is too weird. I'm sorry." said Hatori

"Why are you sorry? You didn't make him set this up." Said Shibata

"No but I told him that I was gay and he's got this crazy idea about me getting married and having kids-" said Hatori
"But…that's not how it works. I mean you could adopt them but they wouldn't be your biological kids." Said Shibata

"I think he wants me to use a surrogate or something….I don't know. I just…I'm sorry that this happened. Let's just eat and go-" said Hatori

"What?" asked Shibata

"He says not to come home, he's got eyes and ears on us by the way, not to come home until tomorrow." Said Hatori. He looked around and…well there were other espers here….but his range wasn't good. Also there was no loosing whoever this was. He was….he was going to have to go through this with. Not everything, no, there were some lines he would cross…but also some lines that he would have to….

That he would have to be drunk enough to cross…and he didn't care what Suzuki said….he was getting drunk tonight.

"Wait…do he wants us to….you know?" asked Shibata. Well that was…going beyond being a good friend. He understood wanting your friend to make the most of his night but to pretty much make someone….well that was going a little too far. President Suzuki was trying to be a good friend, it seemed, but it also seemed like he needed a few more lessons in friendship.

"I'm afraid to ask….but….oh. He says 'wat you do is up to you' and also that we have a really nice room with everything that we would need…he did research apparently….and…yeah. Cool. We're on a date…my first date…" said Hatori

"Wait, this is really your first date?" asked Shibata. Well this was….poor Hatori. He deserved better than this. He deserved someone who wanted to date him, who had asked him out, and who had just….been into him. Shibata thought that he was kind of cute, sure, but that didn't mean that he wanted to be his first date….and all that came with it.

"Yeah. I've been in Claw since I was fifteen, remember? And even before then I wasn't really popular." Said Hatori

"Oh…well if I had known that this was your first date, or that we would even be going on this date, then I would have made it special for you. Flowers and chocolates…homemade chocolates…actually we might have some left over. I helped Mob make this year's obligation chocolates and I think we might have gone a little bit overboard." Said Shibata

"That's…that's ok. Let's just get through tonight…and that bottle of wine if it ever gets here." Said Hatori. Right. This was…his life. He was being forced to go out on a date and…and this was his fault for lying to Suzuki and pretty much everything else bad that he had done in his life. Well alright then. He could have dinner and then sleep….on the floor of the hotel room….and if Suzuki asked why he hadn't done anything he just would have said something about not being ready…or…something. He didn't know, he'd figure it out after dinner….and wine. A lot of wine. All of the wine. The most wine that a person could possibly drink.

That was tonight's mission, get as drunk as humanly possible, but also pretend to have a good time so he didn't wake up in a traitor hole the next day for lying. Cool. Alright then. He could do this…

He really didn't have a choice.