A/N: Three years later...
All I can say is, if you read this after waiting so long for anything more to come, thank you. And it's the first sizable thing I've written in last three years now, I'm definitely rusty, I hope it doesn't show. Depression and anxiety suck but I'm really trying to do something I love despite the way I usually feel.
His head lolls sideways, startling him back into consciousness. Eyes roaming back and forth, Rafael tries to remember. Remember where he is and remember how he got there. Rafael pulls his mind back into focus. He's in city hall, trying to fight for new legislation. There was a shooter, a shooter who had come into this bathroom and he had shot Rafa. Twice. That would explain why he is so cold, and the wetness seeping into his clothing, he is bleeding. He might even be dying.
No, that's not quite right, he's not in a bathroom bleeding from the shoulder, he's lying on carpeting and the pain is in his abdomen. The shooting his mind had conjured happened five years ago now. It's the anniversary of the shooting and he and Brandi were back in the state house, just like they had been five years ago, this time lobbying for a reform in New York's statute of limitations in cases of rape. The goal was to elongate the statutes, at the very least in the cases of child rape and pornography so that predators couldn't get away with things simply because their victims were so young and vulnerable. It seemed so instinctual, and obvious that it should be passed without issue and this would all be over soon. Rafa assumed he wouldn't be in the building long, which was fine with him, wanting to be away from the memories of the day.
Rafael remembers now, he had been testifying to the state congress members when a masked man burst into the room with an automatic gun in hand, raining bullets into the room indiscriminately. The screams of everyone in the room, along with the terrible loudness of bullets ripping through the air at high speeds had rocketed Rafael's mind back in time but he's in the present now.
Things are eerily quiet now, victims either slain or hiding from further attack. He can hear the shooter walking through the room, the thud of the man's boots treading through victims and Raf doesn't want to risk being shot again if this guy is trying to finish people off, so he plays dead for the time being.
Playing dead while possibly also dying is a horrifying experience for Rafael. He thinks about what he might end up being torn away from; Olivia, Noah, Irie, his mother, his friends, all of that could be gone because he might be dying. Rafael keeps himself awake by walking his brain through yesterday from the time he got home from work to laying his head down to sleep.
Upon pulling his car into his, still quite new, driveway that leads to the still quite new house he and Olivia had bought six months before that finally started to feel like their home. Like it was made to be for the Barba's. He spent time with his children and held his wife, just like any other day, but right now that day is perfect. Noah had a room he adored and little Irie was ecstatic at having a room of her very own. Rafael felt a tear slip from his eyes at the thought of Noah, and Irie who had only been adopted a year prior. It had taken four years for Rafael and Liv to settle into married life, and coparenting, and then adjusting to new work life too, before they finally felt ready to add another member to their family. Irie was a delicate little four year old girl who smiled like a shining star, and laughed like a warm hug. She had a past of neglect and not enough love, but Olivia, Rafael, and Noah were showing her what good the world had to offer.
Now Rafael is lying, bleeding on the floor hoping beyond anything that he can have more days of driving home to his wife and kids. More nights of helping with homework, arguing about eating veggies, and curfew reminders. Or nights of kissing and teasing Olivia, of making love with her, Rafael needs more of it all, there hasn't been enough.
Olivia had decided to drive to pick Rafael up from the state house when no one needed her after class ended. She knew that he had carpooled with Brandi from the office so she thought it would be a nice surprise.
There was an odd amount of commotion in front of the building by the time Liv's car neared it. She shrugged it off, assuming it was simply just concerned citizens there to support moving forward with Rafael's proposal. Well, she shrugged it off at first.
That was until she heard the screaming. These weren't shouts of protest or outrage. No, these were screams of pure fear, pleas for help.
Instinctively Olivia threw her car into park and exited the vehicle, when her hands reached for her firearm she broke from her revere. Liv wasn't a cop anymore. It was no longer her duty to protect and serve. Though she did carry a weapon with her still, she didn't know anything about the situation. She didn't know if police were already there, at the thought she spins and looks for patrol cars, spotting two parked haphazardly against the sidewalk, although the officers aren't there.
Panic was rising in her stomach and up her throat, her palms were sweating, and her breathing quickened. Liv tries to gather herself, take stock of her surroundings, and to try to piece together what might be happening. It's then she sees many more police and emergency vehicles speeding toward the building. It's then she hears a sound she would recognize anywhere, gunshots. It's then that she starts choking on her stuttered breathing.
Rafael hears another burst of shouting and more gunfire. It's further away now, he can tell, but he is still so afraid. Afraid that this madman might return, or that he is going to bleed to death, afraid that he doesn't know where Brandi is and if she is okay, just plain afraid.
His body is in so much pain. He has done his best, to this point, to keep his eyes open and to stay alert, but the horrible sting of a bullet in the abdomen is taking its toll. Rafael gives in and squeezes his eyes shut. He supposes he shouldn't be surprised it doesn't shut the pain out, but there was a small part of him that had hoped. An agonized groan belches out of him without his explicit consent. Rafael had heard some other noise before this, somewhere around him, but he had been trying so hard to maintain his dead act.
A sort of dragging sound permeates his consciousness, and then, "Rafael."
It's spoken so softly that he thinks he imagined it, hallucinated the sound of someone calling out to him, but he blinks and turns his head anyway.
Rafael hadn't hallucinated hearing his name, he sees Brandi very slowly and cautiously pulling herself along the floor and closer to his prone form. He tries to shake his head, to discourage her from attracting attention, but it's too much effort. And, now that his eyes are open again, he can see the flurry of activity in the chamber around them.
She can't say for certain but Olivia is pretty sure she blacks out standing by her car listening to the sound of too many gunshots break through the regular chaos of the city to create its own version of it. She wants to vomit. She refuses.
Spinning, she steps onto the sidewalk, practically collides with a uniformed officer, he has to slow his pace to avoid crashing into her. Olivia takes the opportunity to get information.
"What's happening?" Olivia does her best not to sound completely on the edge of breaking. It mostly works.
Barely glancing her way the officer simply states, "active shooter in the state house," before continuing on his way.
Liv has her phone in her hand in seconds. Fin's number is still very easily accessible.
"Tutuola."
"Fin -" her voice breaks straight away.
He hadn't paid attention to the caller ID before answering but he knows who it is without checking. Fin knows about the incident already, having heard the dispatch while in his Crown Vic, his mind hopes the call isn't related.
Still he asks, "is he inside? Again?" There is so much disbelief in his words, how could this be happening again?
"Fin, please." She doesn't know what else to say.
There was blood smeared all over Brandi's cheek and down her neck, "you 'kay?"
It was a good thing Brandi was so close, otherwise there would be no chance of hearing Rafael's tiny voice as he attempted to speak. Her friend was still conscious and breathing so Brandi took solace in that for the time being. Peeling off her blazer, which also had a considerable amount of blood splattered onto it, Brandi presses hard against the wound low on Rafael's belly. He yelps, as much as he can in this state, and tenses, but that hurts too much and his body quickly stops fighting.
She finally answers, "not my blood, at least not on my face," she glances to her left side, "I think I got hit in the side," her eyes are frantic as they take in the scene.
It doesn't appear that there are other wounds on the man laying before Brandi, she thanks whatever power might be listening for this small mercy. After applying pressure to the wound she takes a moment to look around. It is mayhem in the room. After a tense and slow minute of absolute silence some person decided to move and closed the door the shooter had left through. After the first person moved it seemed like everyone else felt like they should too. People were pushing tables against doors to the room, chairs too.
Shaking her head a bit, Brandi calls out, "don't - don't block them too well!"
Several people turn at her outburst, they all seem shocked at the comment, "the police and EMTs will need to get through eventually," Brandi clarifies, "so don't barricade us in too much so we can get the injured out. Once help arrives."
The small group of people that had taken notice of Brandi simply go into action, directing people to only block the doors enough to keep people out, until they know help is there. Though people seem harried, and somewhat harassed at being told to go against their survival instincts, they listen. Taking their efforts a step further they make clear pathways to the bleeding bodies that will need the attention of EMTs most urgently. Any person that has been hit, but not badly, is directed to sit and save their energy as much as possible. There are two casualties that are respectfully placed on tables not being used for barricades and left to rest.
Brandi doesn't leave Rafael's side, "it shouldn't be long now Rafael, there hasn't been anymore shooting."
Rafael's mouth twitches into a momentary smile, he doesn't have the energy to sustain the action.
"Tell Liv, I love her, okay?" He lets his eyes fall closed, succumbing to the tiredness the pain has thrown him into.
Openly crying, Brandi shakes her head as she pushes hard to Rafael's side, "nope, you tell her."
"I'm already on my way there Liv," Fin answers his friend's pathetic cry.
She only nods and sniffles.
Since arriving at the scene no cops have gone in, just the original ones she had never seen. So when the doors to the building fly open she stares. The shots are so much louder than she recalls ever hearing them be. No one is too near the building, the first responders are bunkered behind their cars.
He comes out shooting.
The moment he is visible on the steps, return fire is volleyed. It's probably only a few seconds of shooting, but it draws out to a small eternity, the man falls over, his body littered with bullet holes, and lays motionless and lifeless. Everything stops after it happens, no one is moving, and that includes Olivia. She desperately wants to, but it's not her job any longer, and she can't go into an active crime scene.
The EMTs shuffle anxiously along the sidelines.
The officers who arrived on the scene as the first gunshots sounded confirm, there was a single shooter.
Everything starts back up again at the all clear.
For some dreadful minutes Olivia stands outside woefully ignorant, and wishing she knew anything about Rafael's wellbeing. With her cellphone gripped tightly in her hand Olivia oscillates her gaze between the flurry in front of her and her phone. She just wants it to ring and see Rafael's name on the screen.
Brandi shakes Rafael's body a bit, needing him to wake up, "c'mon Barba, you have to stay awake."
Her head shoots up at the sound of knocking on the doors, "NYPD! Open up!"
She looks down at her friend again, "y'hear that? Help is here. So just wake up."
His eyes are slits, but they're open, "m'cold."
"I know, I know you are, but help is here, so you just have to stay awake and hang on." She's crying, her adrenaline rush is running out, her emotions are a mess, her side is really starting to let her know that, yes, she did indeed get shot, and she is so tired.
Even still Brandi focuses on the pressure she is putting on Rafael.
The doors burst open, on both sides, and first responders flood in, rushing to tend to the hurt and wounded. It's pandemonium.
Rafael is moved out of Brandi's care, and she fights it for a moment before one of the EMTs tells her they needed to get him to hospital.
It's an overwhelming display at the hospital. The only reason Olivia is there so quickly is because Fin had driven her, lights on when they get slowed down. She is shoved out of the way into a waiting room until things are a little more settled and information is more forthcoming. Fin is called away.
She doesn't want to call her family, doesn't want to pass along this bad news. But, she needs them here, needs to have their support and love surrounding her when Rafael can't.
Hands shaking, Liv pulls her phone from her pocket and navigates to Lucia's contact first. As it rings Olivia wants nothing more than to be anywhere else, doing anything else.
"Mija, I just saw the news, Rafi wasn't there, was he?" Lucia's voice is pure panic.
A sob bubbles out from Olivia's throat in response, "he was shot, but that's all I know."
"Which hospital are you at?" Panic is still present, but the energy of it is being directed into a task now, Lucia is going to get to the hospital and be with her family.
"Bellevue," she can't say much more than that.
The conversation ends shortly thereafter. Liv needs to call Lucy, the woman was as much a part of the family as anyone.
"Mom!?" Noah's voice cuts through the fog Olivia's mind settled into as she sat and stared, and waited.
The hospital is still hectic with people waiting for news but Olivia found a corner to herself. She stands to greet her son. His head is at her shoulder height by now, and he buries his face into her shirt, crying already.
"I'm here sweetheart, I'm here," Liv leans down to press her face to her son's curls and breathes him in, it comforts her as much as it can.
Lucy is a few steps away holding a sniffling Irie, who appears to have only just stopped crying, while Lucy looks like she may start at any moment. Olivia pulls both of them into the hug she has Noah in. She lets herself cry now, but she still does her best to be strong and controlled for her children.
It's not long after that Lucia arrives. She rushes over to her little pod stuffed in the corner and squeezes each of them tight, murmuring comforting Spanish phrases in their ears. It's as much for her state of mind as anyone else's. Liv fills Rafael's mother in; he sustained a gunshot wound to the lower abdomen and lost a lot of blood, and that's all she has been able to pull from anyone at the hospital. Everyone is too busy to divulge anything more, instead choosing to see patients first and talk later.
It's agony, waiting.
A/N: Imagine if I came back after making you wait this long just to kill Rafael. I'm not that cruel though. One more chapter, which probably won't be too long, and this is all over.
But, don't worry, I won't keep you waiting another three years for the end.