There was nothing like a nice, long, bath at the end a long day.

And it had been a long day. He so hated it when people needed to be persuaded. He made offers, good once, and there was no reason to refuse them. Why say no? He as offering a seat of power when he took over the world. What else could a person ask for? When he took over he was going to be good to the people who helped him get there. He wasn't just going to walk over everyone as he got to the top. That would have been wrong.

He was good to the people who worked under him.

He knew that people, espers, talked. He knew what was said about him, about Claw. He knew how the mere mention of his name, of Claw, could send people to their knees with fear…or anger. He could understand it, sort of, he knew at least that he would not have liked it. To have someone giving him orders…but he also knew that if he had been less powerful he would have accepted it. That he was not the man who gave the orders. He would have accepted that if he had not been as powerful as he was…but he was as powerful as he was. He was the most powerful man on Earth.

He was the one who gave the orders.

And right now a hot bath was in order. Scrubbing down beforehand was not the easiest thing in the world in these bathrooms but he did his best. The children may not have been in that habit, Masami hadn't been in that habit either having been raised the way she had been, but he was in the habit and there was no point in sitting in a bath if he was not clean beforehand. Showers were different, get in and get out and get on with your life, baths were for unwinding and relaxing….

And he had to do plenty of that.

"God….yes…." said Suzuki as he sank down into the water. That was…he'd needed that. The tub here, thankfully, was large enough that he could almost fully extend his entire body. He sank down to his collar bones and bent his legs at the knee….oh yes. That was pure and utter heaven. He had no idea how he had gotten so tense. It wasn't as though he'd lost, that he had ever been in any danger of losing, and it wasn't as though he'd even gotten injured. Oh yes. There had been blood but not his. No, the only thing that he'd lost in that fight had been a very comfortable shirt.

But he'd gained a new asset.

Several new assets since, as it went, when you took out the leader the followers became yours. It was all perfect, really, it had been time consuming but…well it was over now. And now he could just…enjoy this. The warmth of the water…the silence of the bathroom….his aching joints and back….he hadn't even noticed how badly they'd been aching until he got into the bath. Was that a bad sign? He didn't know. He was getting used to it. Middle age. He was forty four….almost forty five…and he would just keep on getting older and his body would keep on breaking down…and that was just the way that it worked. You got older….that was what it meant to be mortal…

He may have had the powers of a God but he was not immortal.

He didn't even know if he wanted to be. Death…he had no idea what was on the other side….but he didn't want to live forever. To watch the world die around him, the Earth swallowed up by the sun, the eventual heat death of the universe. No. Nobody needed to see that. He didn't want to die, he wanted to live on for as long as he could, but he didn't want immortality…especially not the kind that didn't come with eternal youth. He didn't want to live forever with his body developing always more and more aches and pains with every passing year. This was hard enough…and maybe he had overexerted himself physically…though it was becoming more and more common. No, living forever…and like this…that was not something that he wanted.

He had the powers of a God….but he was not completely a God…and he was alright with that.

He was the future ruler of the world and that was enough for him. He was going to rule the world by the age of fifty, if not sooner, by his projections. Unless something else went wrong. Unless he gave Shigeko control over Claw's finances again. She…he loved her but she was not the best when it came to financial responsibility. That was just how women were. Men made the money and women spent it, that was what father had said, and he had been correct. He couldn't fault Shigeko for having thrown Claw's finances into a tailspin. She was a girl and that was just how she was.

He should have been the one in charge.

He….he had a bad habit. A bit like Serizawa's but worse. When things went wrong he tended to make his strategic retreats. Not to run away just to…regroup…and in the times he retreated Shigeko was in charge and…and those could not happen again. Not if he wanted to rule the world by the time he was fifty. Not if he wanted some years to actually rule the world before he passed it on to Sho. Not if he wanted to have some years to have some time with Shigeko and her children….not that he wanted to think of that…well he did.

He did and he didn't.

Shigeko was getting older. The sheer amount of…whatever these bottles were cluttering up the bath….and the bathroom counter as well was a testament to that. Her cosmetics and bottles and lotions and potions. Her razor which laid down on the counter next to his. The things that's he kept under the sink that he did not want to think about…or how badly he had mishandled that...of course she hadn't been dying. God. He could just hear Masami in his mind telling him that he was ridiculous…and he had been. She was fine. She was growing up and that was fine. She was growing up and there was nothing that he could do about it.

That didn't mean, however, that he wanted to think about it.

He didn't want to think about how she was almost twelve. She would be thirteen and then fourteen….and he knew what he had been like at that age…and he prayed that girls weren't anything like boys. He knew that she was supposed to be interested in the opposite sex, and that she already was, and…and he knew that he did want grandchildren from her…but he didn't want to think about…well all the things that her growing up would entail. She was only eleven now, not twelve for some weeks to come, and he didn't want to think about…about her growing up….

But he did want them to have their life together soon.

"Dad?" asked Shigeko. She knocked at the door even though there was no need for it. She knew that he could sense her aura, and she had made her presence known, but she was still so polite like that. He loved her for being polite like that. Sho…well he just kicked at the door until Shigeko had to drag him away.

"Yes Shigeko? Do you need the bathroom?" asked Suzuki. He did not want to get out of this bath. He did not want to get up and out of this warmth. He could feel his back protesting at the mere thought of getting up. He had just gotten in but…well if he got out then his night with her could begin. They had a film to watch, one of hers, and she still hadn't told him about her day….

Yes. Getting out would have been worth it.

"No, I just wanted to ask…how you were. That's all." said Shigeko. Suzuki settled himself back down into the water. Oh. She just wanted to make conversation. He could do that. He…well he knew that she was on the other side of the door, but he closed the curtain around the bathtub anyway. It felt…odd…to speak to his Daughter when he was undressed like this…even though he had no idea why. He was here, she was there, and the way he felt made no logical sense….

He'd have Tadashi explain it to him later.

"I'm fine, my day went well. I acquired some new assets…people…for Claw. How was your day? Did you win at miniature golf?" asked Suzuki

"No, Shimazaki won…and he didn't even cheat. Well he used his powers to see but he didn't use his telekinesis." Said Shigeko

"Talk about something other than Shimazaki Ryou please." Said Suzuki. The water in the tub almost went over the sides. No. He did not want to hear her talk about that man. If he hadn't been friends with Shigeko, and if he hadn't been the only person who could tolerate Sho for more than a few minutes at a time, Shimazaki Ryou would have been FAR away from Shigeko. He knew what she saw in him. He was a powerful esper and very well built…but he was also all wrong for her and he prayed to God that her feelings for him never got rekindled. Hatori would have been much better for her if they had been compatible in that way. He knew that he had told Hatori to stay away from Shigeko in that way….but that was before he had gotten to know him. He was very good for Shigeko and he would treat her well and he had no ability to survive on his own which was perfect.

Shigeko needed someone who could never leave her…even if the idea somehow entered his mind.

"Ok…um…I saw the math thing that you did for Hatori…." Said Shigeko

"Yes. I apologize for my handwriting. I was in the middle of something when he messaged." Said Suzuki

"Um…what were you in the middle of?" asked Shigeko

"Acquiring an asset…a new person." Said Suzuki. She didn't like it when he called assets what they were. Alright, they were human beings, but that was not what Claw needed from them. Not what he needed from them. He needed their powers, not who they were as people. Shigeko was different in that way….which was why she could never be in charge of acquiring new assets.

"OK…um…why was there blood on you?" asked Shigeko. She had noticed…of course she had. She was his child so of course those little details would not have gotten past her.

"Don't concern yourself with that. I'm fine." Said Suzuki. She did not need to know why he'd had blood on his hands. She did not take well to violence, women were like that, and he did not need to upset her. She was his Daughter. The last thing he wanted was to upset her…or to shatter her image of him.

"But-" said Shigeko

"I'm fine. That was not my blood. Aside from some of the usual back and joint pain I'm fine." Said Suzuki

"Oh…ok. Um….if your back hurts you can use one of my bath bombs. The round things under the sink." Said Shigeko. He felt her aura enter the room and the cabinet under the sink opened. That was….well slightly violating since he wasn't wearing anything…but also impressive. Not every espers could use their mind's eye like she could, that sense of space and where things were. Most espers couldn't use their telekinesis without looking at the object they intended to move….and also most had to make gestures. Shigeko was so gifted like that.

If he hadn't known better he would have sworn that she had been his biological child.

"I will….consider that. Thank you." Said Suzuki

"OK. You can drain the bathwater when you're done, I already took a bath this morning." Said Shigeko

"Alright then." Said Suzuki. She sounded like she was planning on going…and he did so enjoy talking to her…though maybe it was for the best. It was slightly…odd…talking to her while he was in this state of affairs.

"You can use some of my lotion, too, it won't fix your back but it's good for your skin. It keeps it from getting dry. Minegishi says that you have dry skin." Said Shigeko

"She….they….talk about me?" asked Suzuki. He…felt nothing about that at all. He didn't care if they spoke about him…he was just curious, that's all. That he was on their mind. Why would he have been on their mind? What did she…did THEY think of him? Did they think of him in the way that he thought about them…with fascination? Yes. Always with fascination….and that was all. They were a fascinating woman. Their hair, their clothing, the books they read, the way that their skin could have that softness to it and yet…well other things which he noticed solely because he was fascinated by them.

Nothing more.

"Kind of." Said Shigeko. Kind of? What did that mean? Was that a yes or a no? Why did women, and Shigeko, have to be so unclear all the time? Did they talk about him or not…not that he cared. He was just curious, that was all, and when he got curious about something then he had to satiate his curiosity. Like the time when he and Fukuda were children and they wanted to see which soda could dissolve a tooth the fastest…dark cola…and also not all of Fukuda's teeth grew back at the same rate….

Somehow pulling teeth was easier than pulling this information from Shigeko.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Suzuki

"They talk about you when other people talk about you. Like how we were making lotion and I said that it was weird how boys didn't like this stuff and they said that boys needed it, especially you since your skin looks like it's super dry. They said that, not me, but I think so too….sorry." said Shigeko. Suzuki ran a hand down his arm. His skin didn't feel dry…well he was in the bath. Masami had said the same thing to him, once, that his skin was dry….so maybe it was dry….women knew about these things. He so wished that he had listened to Masami…well he wished…a great many Masami related wishes….but he knew that none of them would ever come true. Wishes didn't come true no matter how many paper cranes you folded. She was gone. She was gone and…and he would never see her again and…and he did not want to think about this. He wanted to think about something else.

About someone else.

"Do they…ever say anything else about me?" asked Suzuki. What else did Minegishi say about him? It was…normal…or be concerned with what people said about you when you were not in the room. So this was normal. So he was being normal. So he was being completely normal and if anyone thought that he was being abnormal then they were the ones who were abnormal…and also they were out of line for questioning him. Nobody questioned him. He was Suzuki Touichirou.

He didn't even question himself.

"Um…not really. They don't really talk about you, we don't really talk about you….but…um….Hatori talks about you. He wishes that you would come with us and have fun and stuff…and….um….Serizawa talks about you too. He thinks that you're really cool and he thinks that how you and Fukuda have been friends since before he was even born is really cool…um…and Shimazaki has things to say but-" said Shigeko

"I don't care what that man has to say. I'll be out of here in no more than an hour. We will continue talking then." Said Suzuki. No, he was not going to talk about Shimazaki Ryou…and not just because the more you talked about him the more likely he was to pop in. He had a sense for when he was being talked about….and Suzuki…well he didn't want to be anywhere near the man.

Even if his tattoos were truly fascinating….

"Ok, I'll wait for you. Don't forget the bath bomb, you'll like it." Said Shigeko. Suzuki nodded before realizing that she couldn't see him. He reached under the sink with his powers until he felt something round. He didn't much like going under the sink these days. That was where Shigeko kept her things…well everywhere was where Shigeko kept her things but that was where she kept her things that he was not supposed to know about. Also her bath bombs, which…well he had never gotten the purpose of…

Masami had enjoyed these.

There had been an entire shelf in the main bathroom, back at the old house, which held the things she put in the bath. She had always loved her baths…and so had he…but not at her level. She was…he didn't want to think of her. He didn't…but in not thinking about someone he was daring his mind to think of her…and he just…he hated thinking of her. He hated this so much. She was…sometimes it felt like nothing at all. A passing though of her, maybe a slight sting, and then nothing. Other times it felt like pain. Like…like the worst sort of pain that he had ever felt. That sort of pain that started off like a sting and then…and then grew and grew and grew…

He pulled a purple ball from under the sink.

Something new to think about…and he had to think….and he also had to think to take the plastic off. That was probably needed. So that was what he did. He did it with his powers, his hands were soaking wet, and then he threw the plastic away in the garbage can. There. Now he was better. That pain, the pain that Masami had seen fit to leave him with, had faded to a dull pain. There. That was something that he could live with. He thanked, silently, Shigeko for this. She was helpful even when she didn't know that she was being helpful. Something to do…it was always best to have something to do. Something to take his mind off of…off of someone he had lost. He had lost her and he had gained…well he had gained nothing and…

Well that was…something.

He dropped the purple ball into the bath water. He needed something to do, something to see, something to think of. Something other than the last time he had seen Masami. She had gone to sleep beside him…after a bath. She had smelled like berries and…and herself and…and he so wished that he had rolled over and held her. He hadn't wanted to show her that kind of weakness, he had thought that in showing her that kind of weakness she would have…have been….he didn't even know what…but then she had been gone. Then he had woken up in the morning and she had been gone and…and that had been the last time that he had ever seen her…

He smelled lavender.

The lavender was…this wasn't…Masami had been one for berry scents. Light and sweet. This was….heavy. This smelled oppressively like lavender…and it was….it reminded him of Minegishi, honestly. That made sense, they were the one who taught Shigeko about these things. Mother things. The things that mothers taught their daughters. That was how all of that woman knowledge, knowledge that he as a man would never be privy to, was passed down. Masami was gone, she wasn't there to teach Shigeko everything that a woman was supposed to know, but Shigeko was resourceful. She'd fond someone to fill that void in her life.

Even though Minegishi was….Minegishi.

He did not understand Minegishi…and that was what fascinated him. She…they….were like nobody he had ever known. They were a woman but they did not want to be…well they didn't seem to want to be anything. They wore men's clothing, they wore women's clothing, they'd had short hair, now they were growing it out, sometimes their nails were painted, and sometimes they were bitten down to the nailbed…he didn't understand them…but he wanted to. He wanted to know all that there was about them. They were….fascinating. They were a contradiction. A misanthrope who loved his daughter as their own nonetheless. She….they….were somehow both beautiful and…well not….sort of like art…..like the sort that you had to stare at for hours and hours…and he had stared at them for hours and hours…well his eyes had wandered in their general direction….and that was just how plane rides went….

They had met his eyes…and he hadn't been able to focus on theirs.

Suzuki leaned back in the tub and sighed. This was…this was enjoyable. He could see why women did this. He wondered what else they were hiding from him. He focused on the warmth of the water, the smell of the lavender, and the...softness…that the water had taken on. There was something besides lavender…actually he had no idea what had been in that…but whatever ingredients that bath bomb contained one or more of them softened the water and…yes. That felt good. His back…he didn't know if it was the water or what he had put in it but…oh yes. That was good. That was good enough to make him forget about Minegishi's eyes, how they had managed to make such a common shade of brown so hauntingly beautiful…

For the love of God….

Again with this. He sighed and let himself sink further into the water. Not over his head, no, he hated that. Water in his eyes and up his nose. That had always been the worst. He sank down so his neck was covered…and his legs were cold because he was not a short man by any means….but still. This was…this was nice…but not nice enough to make him forget Minegishi's eyes. A common shade of brown, closer to black really, but so…there was a lot behind their eyes. It was a shame that their…whatever Shimazaki Ryou was to them, was blind. Minegishi was wasted on him. Suzuki…if he'd had Minegishi then they would not have been wasted. Even if it made him a weak man he would have told them every single day how incredibly beautiful they were from their ghastly purple hair to their deep brown eyes to the cupid's bow of their lip and their chipped front tooth….he wondered why they had never had it fixed…and their jutting collar bones that could be seen when they wore clothing that actually fit…and that mole they had on their sternum that he had seen, once, when they had been sleeping on the plane and had turned so that their shirt had gotten caught under them….

And he had not been staring at them, that day, for any other reason than…nonsexual reasons.

Nonsexual and nonromantic reasons. He was a married man. A man without a wife was still a married man so long as his wife was alive…and Masami was not dead…if she had been dead then her body would have shown up at a morgue and…and as much as the thought of her being dead hurts it also has a sort of…comfort to it. At least then he would have known what had become of her. At least then he would have been able to move on…if such a thing was possible. He didn't know if he ever could. He had loved her…he had cared for her…and those feelings were for her and her alone. He was a man, he looked at women, but so long as that ring was on his finger then he belonged to Suzuki Masami and he would never-

He had, though, and twice now.

Twice he had done the unthinkable. Once resulting in a child that…may or may not have been his…and the other one involving no penetration but still…still had sent him hiding from the world. He hadn't been able to face himself let alone the world after what he had done…to Masami…who wasn't there but…but for as long as there was a ring on his finger then….then there could be no other women…or people who somehow were and were not women at the same time…and this time he meant it. For as long as that ring was on his finger he belonged to Suzuki Masami, his wife. Not Pang Sujin, not Minegishi Toshiki, and not Shiori…not Sakata Shiori…

For as long as that ring was on his finger then he would belong to Masami Suzuki and no other.

"Dad? You've been getting a bunch of texts." Said Shigeko. She knocked again, this time, even though her aura and voice gave her away. Suzuki sat up quickly. The water in the tub sloshed all around…and his powers hadn't helped that at all. He needed to get a hold of himself. Shigeko could not see through walls or hear his thoughts. She would have left him a long time ago if she could have.

"From who?" asked Suzuki. Someone had better have been dying. Hatori….well he would have been saddened if Hatori died but…well he was the only one who ever messaged him…and he knew Suzuki's schedule. This was bath time and he was not to be disturbed during bath time.

"Someone named Sakata. Do you want me to read what she said?" asked Shigeko. Suzuki stopped himself at the last second from slamming that door opened and snatching that phone right from in between her little blue fingers. He knew, as he was getting out of the bathtub, that unless he wanted to mentally scar his daughter for the rest of her life he needed to stay away from that door.

Also he needed to get that phone out of her hands before she learned just what sort of man her father was.

"No, stay out of my correspondence." Said Suzuki

"But I answer work stuff for you all the time." Said Shigeko

"That is not work related." Said Suzuki. He wanted to hit himself over the head until he died as soon as those words left his mouth. Now she knew that he was speaking to women for non-work related reasons. Now she was probably thinking that her own father was nothing more than a womanizing, self-defiling, slave to his own joy. Now she had probably lost faith in all men and would either end up a lesbian or married to some terrible man who would mistreat her and cheat on her and then she would be angry with Suzuki for murdering her husband with his own two hands even though he had been mistreating her and cheating on her!

"I can still answer, I know how you hate getting out of the tub and-" said Shigeko

"Shigeko just…give me my phone. Close your eyes and give me my phone." Said Suzuki. There was no way that he was leaving her alone with his phone. There was so much incriminating evidence there. She could not know what he had done. She could not know….she could not know the sort of man that her father really was…

She could not leave him.

"Ok, here." Said Shigeko. The door opened a crack and she stuck her arm through. He reached over with his powers and took his phone from her. She, thankfully, asked no further questions. He felt her aura move away from his and he heard her little footsteps walking away from the door. Good. She had no idea about anything….

And also neither did he.

He had no idea what Shiori…what Sakata….would have been messaging him about. Unless it was something related to…well how they left things. She had been very angry when he had left her suddenly after their…whatever they were calling it. Tryst? That was a good word for it. Affair was another one. Bought of momentary, adolescent like, insanity was another. Maybe she had her own word for it. Maybe she was messaging, now, to tell him that she hoped that he had died…something that she had said…or that she would never forgive him for just walking out the door like that…something else that she had said…or that he had no idea what he was doing and that her clitoris was nowhere near where he had been focusing…which had just been a bold lie and somehow the most hurtful thing that any woman had ever said to him….he knew what he was doing…and he was damn good at it…

He really hoped that she hadn't been messaging to insult his sexual technique again….he had fathered a child he knew what he was doing….

'Happy birthday'

Oh. Well he hadn't been expecting that. He had been expecting more profanity, insults, and lies….not a birthday message. He checked the date, careful not to lose his telekinetic grip on his phone as he did, and found that there was still some time before his birthday. It was closer to Tadashi's…to Fukuda's birthday than his…should he send him a birthday message? The thought makes him feel…nervous….he'll have Shigeko do it. She loved birthdays.

And, apparently, so did Shiori.

'I remember you telling me that your birthday is in March so happy birthday I guess. I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Probably because I'm a little drunk. You're an asshole and fuck you for ghosting me.'

Well then….alright. That was more like…what he had been expecting. She was still angry with him…why? They had agreed that it didn't have to mean anything. They had both agreed that what had happened was purely an expression of mutual lust and nothing more. He hadn't been with a woman in a while, she had found him attractive, and bad choices had been made by all. So that should have been the end of it…so why…why was she messaging him?

And why was he…happy…about it?

'I don't know if you even care but I was thinking about you and-'

He almost dropped his phone. He hadn't expected it to start ringing. Nobody called him, ever, unless something was literally on fire. He prayed that something had caught fire or exploded or someone had died or staged a coup…or something. Anything to distract from the fact that he had gotten more messages from Shiori than he had gotten from anyone else that week…and it was Saturday. He prayed to God, even, that something had happened to Sho and Fukuda was calling to tell him that he was on the brink of death or something-

It wasn't Fukuda.

"He-hello?" asked Suzuki. His voice hadn't been that high since he'd been a child…and he felt like one…and he didn't know why. Vaguely guilty but also confused and powerless….and also exposed. Possibly, probably, because he was completely naked in the bath and talking to a woman who had told him that she hated him and never wanted to see him again.

"Oh fuck me, you picked up…" Shiori said. There was a slur to her words…oh, right, she had said that she was slightly intoxicated. Well that would have explained…many things. Still. He wondered what he was supposed to do in this situation. Hang up? No, that would have been rude….but he had no idea what to say to her….he wished that Fukuda had been there. He always knew what to say.

"I did…but I can hang up if you want me to…" said Suzuki. Talking to women had never been easy….and talking to women he had a history with…well he had never done this before. Was she an ex? No, they had never been together…but even in the times when he'd just gone to bed with a woman…she had never spoken to him once the physical things were done….

"Yes….no…..I don't know. I don't even know why I called you. Maybe because it's your birthday and it's my birthday…" said Shiori

"Oh. Happy birthday. It's not my birthday but…well I wish you a happy birthday." Said Suzuki. Well at least he knew what to say to that. Her birthday was today…she was forty one. She was forty one and for her birthday she had been hoping that her friends would take her out to…well he forgot the exact name of the location….but apparently the wine selection was to die for. She loved wines, a good glass of it, whites were her favorites but she had a soft spot for blueberry wine…and that was all the alcohol related knowledge he had for her.

"Thanks…I think that's what I wanted to hear from you…I don't know." Said Shiori. That seemed like it would have made sense. She wanted him to wish her a happy birthday so that was what he had done…and now he could hang up…but he was the man and he did not hang up first. He hadn't done this in almost twenty years….but he remembered the rules. She was the woman and being the woman she decided when this conversation was over.

Even though he really, really, really wanted to get back to his bath.

"How…was your birthday? Did you end up going to the wine bar you wanted to visit?" asked Suzuki. The words took a moment for him to find them. He knew that he had to say something and so he did. He said words. He said words that made sense. So there. He had done his part and…and he hoped that he had done it right. He wanted her to hang up and never talk to him again and he also, paradoxically, wanted to spend the rest of the night on the phone with her.

"Obviously it went well…and why do you even care? And why do I even care that you care….God….I have no idea why I even called you….or why I keep on thinking about you…or why I don't want you to hang up…God…it's like I'm sixteen again…" said Shiori

"You're forty one…and….I don't know why you called me either. I had assumed, from how many times you said it, that you hated me." Said Suzuki

"I do….I did….I don't know." Said Shiori

"I don't know either. You're speaking to me after you said that you hated me…after everything that transpired…between us." Said Suzuki

"You mean after you ghosted me?" asked Shiori. He knew what that word meant and it was exactly what he had done….so he was not going to argue that point with her.

"That is what I'm referring to, yes. I…regret how we parted. I should have told you that I was leaving and…and I regret…leaving you the way I left you." Said Suzuki. He didn't want to explain himself. He didn't have to explain himself. He had left and it had been his right to leave. He was Suzuki Touichirou and he could do whatever he wanted to do…though tucking himself back into his pants and then just leaving her there on her couch after she'd just finished having him…in the ways that she'd had him….had been bad form.

"Half naked on my couch?" asked Shiori. Suzuki almost dropped his phone into the tub. Maybe that would have killed him. He had wanted to die in that moment. That had been…exactly what had happened….but she hadn't had to just…say it…like that….

"Yes." said Suzuki

"Well you did…and I'm still pissed about that, by the way. I know that we never agreed to be anything with you but just…what the fuck?! You can't just leave a person like that and-" said Shiori

"I know. I apologize. I never should have treated you like that. Please forgive me." Said Suzuki. He hated it, apologizing, but he had to. Shigeko liked it when he apologized, for one thing, and also…well he had been the one in the wrong. He had left her half-dressed and covered in a mixture of sweat and…well various other….he had been wrong to leave her. That was the point.

"….so the great Suzuki Touichirou knows how to apologize?" said Shiori

"I do. I don't like to but I do. I…let my…emotions…control my actions in that moment and I apologize." Said Suzuki. There was silence on the other end of the line. He wondered if the call had been dropped or she had hung up on him. She…he hoped that she had just lost the signal…and not hung up on him. He did not have feelings for her…he couldn't have feelings for her…but he just…he did not want to be rejected…which was a normal way for a person to feel.

"It…must have been a lot to you…after your wife….and I guess that you had every reason not to speak to me. I…said somethings….that were out of line. I guess that I just…let my emotions control me…too. I mean when you left it was…well I felt rejected and then when it got back to me that you left the country…not the city but the country! I just…lost it. So I guess I have my own apologies to make." Said Shiori. Suzuki…the water had gone cold but there was a warmth that had overtaken him. She…he had never had a woman speak to him like that. She was telling him…she was explaining herself. He had never had a woman explain herself to him like that…but here she was.

Explaining herself.

Masami came to mind. The way that she would speak but…but what she said made no sense. Speaking to her, especially when she was upset, had been like…like having a box of puzzle pieces dropped down into his lap. Like she had taken a ten thousand piece puzzle and upended it into his lap and then throw away the box so he had no idea at all what he was even supposed to be doing. She…he loved her but talking to her had been like…like doing a puzzle with no box. Shiori…she was…she hadn't just given him the box…

She had sat down beside him and helped him put the puzzle together.

"Thank you…for explaining yourself like that." Said Suzuki. His voice felt nonexistent for a moment. He…this….he wanted….he wanted a great many things in that moment. He wanted to run away, to hide, or to drown himself…but also he wanted to stay on the line with her for the rest of his life. He wanted to be near her. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, and to take her there on the bathroom floor and make her scream his name and dig her nails into his back and just….he wanted her to call him Touichi. He wanted her to run her nails up his back and scream it to the heaven. Touichi. He wanted her to say it breathlessly with her thighs on either side of him, her fingers running through his hair…the barest feeling of her nails…the flex of her thighs on either side of his head….her just…

He nearly dropped his phone.

"You're welcome and…thanks. For talking to me…for explaining yourself. I guess that's what I wanted…anyway….I should get to bed. It's four in the morning here…I have no idea what time it is where you are but-" said Shiori

"I'm in Amsterdam. It's about eight o'clock at night." Said Suzuki. He had interrupted…but he had thought that she had been asking a question….and he had been doing so well! Now she probably hated him and never wanted to speak to him again and-

And she laughed

"God…I love that about you…you're so…you. Yeah, I need to go to sleep. Goodnight Suzuki…goodnight Touichirou…or good morning. Whichever suits you better." Said Shiori

"Goodnight…Shiori." Said Suzuki. That time he did drop his phone. He managed to catch it with his powers…and in his emotional state he sent it flying out of the tub and into the hamper. He needed…he needed to calm down. He needed to calm down and just…not feel…this. All of what he felt. He felt…he wanted…he wanted….he wanted so much…

So many things that he could not want.

"Dad? Are you ok?" asked Shigeko. She knocked again that time. She knocked even though she didn't need to. Her aura and voice announced her presence. His aura flared. He pulled a towel down and covered himself…which he was still in the rapidly cooling water. Great.

"I-I'm fine, Shigeko." said Suzuki. She was out there and he was in here….and he knew this but he couldn't make it all just…stop. This feeling that she was right there beside him staring over his shoulder. Judging him. Scrutinizing him. Weighing him. Weighing him and finding him wanting.

"But your aura-" said Shigeko

"I said that I was fine! I….am fine and…and I would like it if you made us some popcorn and then got a movie started. Something that you like…like the ice queen." Said Suzuki. He needed her gone. He needed her to get away and…and he loved her so much…but he did not deserve her love. Not when he felt like this. Not like when he had been acting like a…he didn't even know how to describe himself right now without devolving into profanity.

"But…ok. I can do that….but…tell me if something's wrong, ok? I love you and if something's wrong then I want to know so I can help you with it. I love you, dad." Said Shigeko

"I love you too, Shigeko…now go and make popcorn. I'll be joining you shortly." Said Suzuki. He waited until he felt her aura moving away from the door, and until he heard her little footsteps moving down the stairs and towards the kitchen, before he got up. He dropped the soaking wet towel on the floor as he got up and he brought over another one from the cabinet. He…was fine. He had gotten himself into a predicament but the cold would help with that…and his own sense of shame…and he should have been ashamed of himself.

He couldn't even stand the sight of himself.

He looked away from the mirror as he got out of the bathtub. He could not stand the sight of himself, of a man who had been….who had done what he had done…and who wanted to do it again. He was a married man. He had a wife and she was perfect…she had left him, she was his wife and she had left…but she was his wife! She was his wife and she had left him but she had never been with another man…and he….he should have done the same. He should have stayed away from women if he couldn't control himself around them. He should have been better than he was. He should not have thought about any other woman let alone spoken to one and felt…something which he had not felt in a while. Not sexual excitement, he felt that from time to time, no…that warmth….that he had felt from Masami…had been there with Shiori. Her voice…her words…they hadn't been enough. He had wanted to see her, to hold her, to be with her…and he knew that it was wrong! He had this ring on his finger and for as long as he wore this ring-

-this ring….

There. The ring finger on his left hand. It was bare. There was a strip of white where it had been but….but it was….it was gone! The lights flickered, the mirror cracked, a bottle of something or other exploded but…but it was gone and…and he needed to calm down. He took a breath and then another and another. He stared down at the tile floor and…there. A glint of gold on the bathmat. The ring…his ring….it had slipped off…

He picked it up.

"Dad? Are you sure that you're ok? The whole house shook and your aura-" said Shigeko. She didn't knock that time. No, she just shouted through the door…and he wished that she had knocked. She should have announced her presence. He was naked as the day he had been born…but it was his ring hand that he covered. He had no reason to cover his hand. He had no reason to cover anything, she had the sense to stay on the other side of the door, but…well it was his hand that he covered….

That was the part of him which felt the most…naked.

"Shigeko, no. I've told you before that I'm fine, now leave me to get dressed." Said Suzuki

"But dad-" said Shigeko. She was persistent. She was his child so of course she would be persistent…but he didn't need her to be persistent. He needed her to leave him alone.

"Shigeko…please. Leave me be. I'll be right out, alright?" said Suzuki. If she had been anyone else he would have told her to get the hell away from him…but she wasn't just anyone. She was his daughter. She was his child. She was his reason and his life. She was everything that he wanted and his will to succeed. He loved her and…and he could not hurt her. He could not be harsh towards her as he had been to so many others…but she could not see that side of him.

There were many sides of him that she could never see.

"Um…ok dad…if you say so." Said Shigeko. He waited, again, until her aura and footsteps left him. Until he found himself, alone and naked, smelling of lavender in the middle of the soaked bathroom. He took a breath, and then another, and then another…and then he did what he had to do. He slipped his ring back on.

It slid down.

He could not let this ring fall off. He…it was the bath that made it slip off…whatever he had put in it. Whatever that bath bomb had been made out of. That was…the only reason his ring had come off…and nothing more. He had to keep it on. He was…he belonged to Suzuki Masami and no matter what he wanted, no wonder who came around, no wonder what feelings he had or didn't have or had to exorcise he would always belong to Masami Suzuki. Nothing could ever change that.

Not even a good, long, bath.