Mob did not consider herself to be a princess.
She knew that one day dad was going to be king of the whole world, well President, but that did not make her a princess. First of all princesses wore crowns and Mob hadn't worn a crown since she had been four or five. Second of all princesses wore fancy ball gowns and Mob…well she used to wear her costumes everywhere but they didn't fit anymore so she was in regular clothes right now. Third of all princesses were a part of the line of succession and dad said that she would never be a part of the line of succession because she was not a boy…so maybe that last one didn't make her a princess…but still. Mob did not and had never considered herself to be a princess.
Despite what dad thought.
"What do you think Shigeko?" asked Suzuki as he held his Daughter as tightly as he could by the hand. She loved it when they went to palaces like this. One of her favorite things to do was wander through these massive homes and think about what their home would be like, picking and choosing different elements to add to their home when the time came, a bit like him and fortresses when he'd been her age.
Well a little older than she was now.
When he'd been a little older than her, and when he'd been sure that he was capable of ruling the world, he used to pour over different pictures of fortresses both real and fictional. He would stay up until all hours of the night hiding under his covers with a flashlight floating beside him, a notebook on his lap, and a pencil in his hand planning the future. He wondered if she ever did the same.
Well she was doing that now and that was what mattered.
"I think it's nice dad. It's….big." said Mob. She thought that it was way too big. How could one family stand to live in a house that big? There was only so much space that people could need before a house got big and lonely. She knew that people besides the family lived here, their friends and servants and stuff, and maybe that made it a little less lonely…but still.
Even if she filled the house with each and every friend she and Sho had there would still be plenty of room to spare.
"Big is good. It's a show of power and affluence. Honestly I've seen bigger. Our home will be bigger." Said Suzuki as they walked into yet another room. She liked things like this, overly decorated rooms like this, and there would be plenty of them in their home. Rooms all made to her taste…and a few to his but mostly to hers. Women did love to decorate their homes after all.
Masami certainly had.
When he'd bought the house, the original house, she hadn't been happy with it at all. It had been a traditional house in some ways and she hated traditional. He had offered to have a house built for her but she had been in a hurry to live together properly. She had been pregnant with Sho, then, and eager to settle down…and so had he. He had given her free reign to paint the walls however she wanted to and change all the floors and carpets and fixtures and…well everything else that she could change. It had practically been a new house when she had gotten done with it.
It would be simpler, come the day, to just build Shigeko a house from the ground up.
"But it might be too big, you know? I mean…this is a lot of space." Said Mob
"So? Why would you want to live in a shoebox when you can live in a place like this? Not exactly like this, of course, but something in the style that you like. Don't worry, when the time comes you can have whatever kind of house that you like." Said Suzuki
"Even if it's not big?" asked Mob
"Of course it's going to be big. You'll never live in a small home. You'll live in a place that's worthy of you." Said Suzuki
"Um….ok. I guess. Do you want to see more rooms or do you want to go? I mean I know that you're busy." Said Mob
"I'm never too busy for you. It's Sunday, anyway, and we spend Sundays together." Said Suzuki
"Um…yeah, we do…and let's keep…looking at stuff I guess." Said Mob. She kind of wanted to go home and see what Minegishi was up to. They must have been lonely. Shimazaki was off doing something with dad and Minegishi was probably all alone and lonely…and even if they weren't Mob still wanted to hang out with them…
But hanging out with dad was good too.
Even if he was holding her hand way too tight. She could see her fingers turning white. She didn't much want to be holding dad's hand when he got like this. Clingy and smothery. But that was just because he was out with her and there were people around. People made him nervous unless he was bossing them around. Mob…well if she had been a meaner person she would have told dad that he was fine and that he didn't need to break her fingers just because he was nervous in crowds…and also she was bored of looking a big fancy houses….and also that she wasn't a princess….
But she was not a mean person.
"It's not very decorated on the outside. The inside, however, is much nicer. A bit too opened, though, I think. I'm not a fan of opened spaces like this." said Suzuki. He motioned outwards for emphasis. This room was a ballroom of sorts, it seemed, with massive chandeliers…beautiful ones…he made a note of them. Shigeko would have liked those for their future home.
"I like a lot of little rooms, too. That way everyone has their own space." Said Mob. She didn't think that her friends would have been happy having to share a lot of big opened space together. She loved her friends, she did, but they needed their own space or they would fight.
"You…want there to be space between us?" asked Suzuki. He knew that they were going to live in a big house but…well he hadn't thought about her putting space between them. He…did not want that. His entire plan for their future had hinged upon them spending that future together…and they couldn't spend that future together if they were apart….and he was fine on his own….he didn't need anyone…but also he needed her…
It was confusing, sometimes, so he chose not to dwell on it.
But he couldn't help but dwell on it now. She was so small now…but less small than she had been before. He used to be able to fit her entire hand in his. Now…well her hand still fit….the palm of it. Not her fingers, though, they were short but…well she was bigger now. She was taller, too, and…and even taller still with those boots she was wearing. There was a heel to them…and he had no idea why she was wearing them….
Well because she was getting older…and this was a part of getting older….high heeled boots and pulling away from him….from her father….
He held her hand tighter.
"No, dad, you know that I don't want that. I want us to be together all time and when I grow up then you can live in the house with me and my kids and we'll all be happy all the time. Ok?" said Mob. She patted dad's hand with her free one as she said that. She felt like, sometimes, she was the grown up and he was the kid. Like she had to make him feel better when he was scared…and he was scared. She knew her own dad. She knew that he was scared of her leaving him all alone even if he pretended that he didn't need anyone else…and that was…well of course she could be there for her dad.
If he needed her then she would be there for him.
If he needed to hold her hand so tightly that it felt lie her fingers were going to snap off then…well then that was ok. He needed her and she was his daughter and…well when someone needed her then she was there for him. She had to be the adult a lot of the time, it felt like, but she didn't mind. Better to be treated like an adult than a little kid. There were kids here with their families and some of them were holding hands with their parents…and some of them weren't…but even the ones that weren't were treated like kids. They got told what to do and when to do it and they had to go to school and stuff. Mob was at least in charge of herself.
And even dad, sometimes.
But not now. What she wanted to do was tell dad to let go of her hand already. She loved him but…she was almost twelve. It would be her birthday soon in a couple of months and…and she would be twelve. Twelve was too old to be holding your dad's hand it felt like. She knew that Minori never held her dad's hand anymore. She knew that there were a lot of weird things about her…and she didn't like being weird. In a lot of ways she wanted to be normal. Not normal like she didn't have powers but normal like…well…like the kind of normal where people didn't stare at her and stuff.
Especially not boys.
"Come on, let's…walk over here now." Said Mob. A boy was staring at her. Probably because he thought that she was weird. It was weird, really, to be holding your dad's hand and stuff. She didn't even hold Sho's hand anymore when they went to places together. She wished that she could have been mean enough to pull her hand from dad's…but she also didn't want to be a mean person…and she also didn't want to be stared at like she was now….so she kept on walking with dad…
And she was being followed.
That boy was still following her…she made eye contact! She looked away. She turned her head so fast that her braids hit her in the face. She had looked at him and he looked back at her! Dad looked down at her. She smiled up at him. He couldn't know what was wrong. He didn't like her talking to boys, or anyone, first of all and second of all he couldn't know that she wanted to let go of him. Then he would have gotten nervous and scared and she didn't want to make her own dad feel like that. He was her dad and she loved him…
She wished that he would stop making her look like a baby and all but she still loved him.
"Are you alright, Shigeko?" asked Suzuki. He had no idea why she had turned her head that quickly…or why her aura had simmered like that. She seemed happy but…well looks could often be deceiving. He had no clue what was happening in her mind. People were often very confusing like that. He could guess but…well people were never clear about how they felt. Shigeko was better about all of that than most but even she could be very confusing sometimes.
"I'm fine just…looking at stuff. Trying to read the words on the….displays…and stuff." Said Mob. She hated lying to her dad….so she didn't. She turned her head to read the little display on the wall. It was in English and Norwegian…and she read the English…there. She hadn't told a lie.
"Trying? There should be no 'trying' about it. You speak English….not as well as I do but you speak English." Said Suzuki. Her English couldn't have been that bad….right? He so wished that he'd been around more in her formative years…and he so wished that he and Masami had spoken English around the children more often as well.
"I do…but you're right, dad, you're better. Can you read to me?" asked Mob. She didn't need dad to read to her but…well she needed him distracted. She was still being looked at, she could feel it, and she sort of wanted to look behind and see…who was looking at her. it might not have been that boy…or it might have been him…she didn't know for sure. There were a lot of people here.
"You can't read this?" asked Suzuki. Well that was….worrying. He knew that he had left the children's education in their own hands but….maybe he should have looked into what it was, exactly, that they had been teaching themselves.
"I can…but I want you to read it to. Please, daddy?" asked Mob. Please was supposed to be the magic word, she had learned that from mom, but Minori had taught her the read magic word. When you called your dad, 'daddy', he would do almost anything for you. Like read to you like you were a baby even though you could read to yourself….but dad loved treating her like a baby anyway….
"Alright. This says….why is this print so small…hold on…" said Suzuki. He did not need glasses. He could see just fine on his own. He did not need glasses to read. He hadn't even needed them before and he did not need them all. The print that people used for things had just gotten very small over the years, that was all, and that was why he needed to squint. That reason and no other.
"Yeah dad…it is really small…" said Mob. Dad was squinting again. He was never going to say it but he needed glasses….but if he wanted to squint then he could squint all he wanted….but that was mean. She'd think of a nice way to say that she couldn't make him get glasses later. Right now…right now she was still being looked at.
She turned around.
There. That boy was looking at her again. He looked away when she looked at him…and then she looked away when he looked at her again…and then they just went back and forth like that. She didn't know what was wrong with her….she didn't even know him! She didn't even know his name or what he liked or didn't like….all she knew was that he was tall and he had glasses….not square ones but they were still nice…and his hoodie was blue….a really nice shade of blue….and she knew that maybe he liked blue…which was knowing something about him…
So maybe it was ok to look at him.
She looked at him without looking away that time. He had spots on him like she did too….but she wasn't grossed out. Minori said that boys with bad skin were gross but her skin was bad too so they matched. She looked at him some more and…well his skin wasn't any worse than hers was and…and he had pretty eyes. Blue. Not blue like Sho and dad's were…more like green blue….sort of like the ocean…or a dirty fish tank….or something.
He had pretty eyes.
He was looking at her now. Did he think that her eyes were pretty? She had worked hard on them. They were supposed to be the same as Elsa's. She didn't have blue eyes like Elsa's but…well brown eyes could be pretty too, right? She wondered if that boy thought that her eyes were pretty….if she was pretty. She didn't think that she was…not dressed like this….she felt like such a little kid. She had one of her tulle skirts on and her Frozen hoodie…and Frozen was for babies…and she'd had this for a while. It was too small a little bit. She crossed her arms over her chest.
Then she uncrossed them.
Then she crossed them again. Dad was still reading. She had let her hand slip out of his a while ago. She had to make up her mind. She couldn't keep doing this or dad would notice. She either had to cross her arms or uncross them, one of the two, and she just…she didn't know what she wanted to do. She wanted…and did not want…to be looked at. It made her feel all…kind of like her heart was trying to escape…but in both a good and a bad way and….and she did and did not want to feel like this….mostly not since her dad was right there…and she didn't even know that boy's name….
Knowing the boy's name was important, she decided.
Minegishi thought otherwise. They didn't even know the names of all the people that they'd kissed. They just sort of kissed people, they said, people who felt like kissing. That was how it worked with adults….well some adults. Mob didn't think that she could kiss someone without knowing their name….not that she was thinking of kissing that boy! Not that she wanted him to take her by the hand and run away with her to some place where her dad wasn't there to watch her and just…kiss her a bunch of times….and stuff….she didn't want that at all!
She really didn't.
She didn't want to kiss him or hold his hand or…well other stuff that she knew that people did. She had only kissed one person in her whole lifetime….so she must not have been good at it…and of course she wanted to kiss more people….but not in a kissing random people way…..but in a…she didn't know! She didn't want to think about this! Not with her dad right there! He was right there and if he took a break from reading then….then he would have looked over and known what she was thinking about!
Somehow!
The thought of dad knowing what she was thinking about makes her hair want to fly up. She held on to her braids so that they didn't do that thing where they flew above her head….and they felt weird. She looked down. Oh. One of her bows was gone…it must have fallen off. That happened all the time. She just had to look around to see where it had gone to and…
Oh.
Someone had picked it up. The same someone who had been looking at her. That…well he could have it! She wanted to let him have it…and she wanted to get it back…and she wanted…she didn't know what she wanted! He looked at her and held her bow up…and now she had to get it back. She had to get it back because he had seen her looking at it and it would have been weird if she pretended that she hadn't seen him…or that she was blind…but no, that would have been mean to Shimazaki….and it was too late to pretend that she was blind anyway!
She had no choice.
She stepped quietly away from dad. He was going down the line of things to read….and she felt bad tricking him….but she needed her bow back. She needed her bow back and…and she wouldn't be gone for too long. She was just walking over and….and she could do that. Just walk over and….and one foot in front of the other….like she had been doing for almost her whole life…and stuff. She just….she took a step…and stumbled a little…these boots were kind of hard to walk in…but now that she had taken the first step then she had to take the next…
The second one was easier.
It hadn't been as many steps as she had thought that it was….but she wished that it had been more. This room was big and….and she wished that it had been bigger. She could still feel dad back there and….and she knew that he would have been mad if he could have seen her now…and she knew that….that maybe she should have just ran all the way back to him…and she wanted to. She wanted to run all the way back to her dad and take his hand and be a little kid again…
But she also wanted her bow back.
"Hi." Said the boy. Mob…she knew that she should have said something….but she couldn't remember how to talk. She knew that the polite thing to do would have been say 'hi, I'm Shigeko, can I have my bow back' and then that would have been it….and she knew words…but she just
"English?" asked the boy. Mob nodded. She held out her hand and she nodded and…well maybe she should have said something. Probably something in English, too, since this boy had asked her in English if she spoke English.
"I speak English…um….I'm Shigeko. It's nice to meet you." asked Mob. She found her voice…and it had been hard but she had found it…and she just…she had said something and…and she had never known that talking could have been so hard.
"I'm Mathias…it's nice to meet you too." Said the boy. Mob nodded. There was more staring. She stared at the star on his shirt. He stared at…well she didn't know what specifically about her he was staring at but she knew that he was staring. She wanted her bow back…and maybe to tell him not to stare at her…but mostly she just wanted her bow back. She held her braids in her hands and looked up at him. Their eyes met. He looked away first.
"Um…can I have my bow back?" asked Mob. The boy nodded really fast. She hoped that she didn't wind up hurting himself. That would have been bad…and also someone would have hurt themselves because of her…and that would have been really bad. She didn't think that she could have been able to live with that kind of guilt.
"Sorry! Sorry! I'm just…sorry. I was just looking at you….I mean your shirt! Your jacket and….um….here's your bow back….sorry!" said the boy. Mob nodded….and tried not to think about how he was looking at her hoodie. She sort of wished that she had been wearing her big sweater, the hiding sweater, but she also sort of wished that she had worn something nicer…even though there was no point…not with hose she looked.
"Th-that's ok…" said Mob. She let go of her braid and held out her hand. She…well she didn't really have a lot else to say. Thank you? Would that have been good? It was her bow but he'd found it…and he was giving it back to her…so maybe she should have waited to say thanks until it was in her hand and then….and then maybe go back to dad? Or talk to…well she didn't know this boy….but she wanted to know this boy. She really wanted to know this boy.
And she really wanted her bow back.
He reached over and, instead of putting her bow in her hand, reached up higher and took the end of her braid in his hand. She couldn't move…or think….or…anything! A boy was touching her hair….a boy was TOUCHING her HAIR! Like….right now! Right now there was this boy right there in front of her and he was touching her hair and…and…..what?! She had never had a boy touch her hair before…well dad touched her hair all the time but dads weren't boys…and Shimazaki touched her hair sometimes too but he didn't count as a boy either…even though it sort of felt like…this…when he touched her hair…
Like she was all hot and cold all over and she kind of wanted to run away.
But she didn't run away. She stayed right where she was. She stayed where she was while he clipped her bow back on the end of her braid. He didn't do it right. He clipped it up way too high, and not tightly enough either, but she didn't say anything. She didn't know if she would ever say anything ever again. She didn't know if she would ever remember English ever again. That was…he was so close….and she was so close….and she felt all warm and cold and….and like she wanted….like she wanted a lot of things and she wasn't sure what they were…well she knew what some of them were….and she knew that these were not ok feelings to have about someone she just met and…and she just….
She had to say something.
"There. Um…you look really pretty. Sorry to um…well I just wanted to help you and….so I helped you. Um…your hair is really soft and…it looks pretty….with the bows in it. You're pretty I mean." Said the boy. Mob nodded. She…had no idea what he meant by pretty. She was not pretty. She was….well she looked like a first grader, like Minori said, and….and boys….they didn't think that she was pretty! But this boy thought that she was pretty and….and the lights in the pretty chandelier above her flickered and….
And she hadn't done that.
"Domo arigato gozaimasu!" said Mob before she bowed and ran back to dad. That had been dad's aura…he got scared when she wasn't near him…and for once she was glad that he needed her so much. She had messed up. How had she forgotten English!? She was half English…or whatever mom and dad's not Japanese halves were….and she just….she had messed up! That boy had thought that she was pretty and….and she had messed up and….and she just….
She had to calm down. For dad's sake.
"Shigeko. You wandered away from me." Said Suzuki. One minute she'd been there beside him, the next she'd slipped through his fingers, and now she was back. She looked like she'd been running…which was odd because usually Sho was the one who ran around. She practically jogged up beside him and took his hand in hers…he had no idea what she'd been up to…but she was back beside him now and that was what mattered.
"I did but I'm back now. Come on let's go…and look at other things." Said Mob as she squeezed dad's hand in hers as tightly as she could. She had messed up and…and she just….she needed to move. Now! Right now!
"I…alright. Whatever you want." Said Suzuki. Something was wrong….what was it? What did she need? Hungry? Tired? Bored? Lonely? In terrible pain because her boots were completely unsuited to long periods of standing? What? What could have possibly been wrong with her?!
"Thanks dad…daddy. I love you." Said Mob. She smiled and led dad away. She knew him. He was like her, his face didn't say a lot, his aura did most of the talking…and his aura had been really freaked out back there. She didn't like being all…like that….with dad. Tricking him into….well not tricking him but….well it sort of felt like she was tricking him…..and stuff…..but….well as long as she wasn't tricking him then it was ok. She really did want to get going anyway so this was ok.
She was ok.
She just…she felt better now. She didn't look behind her as she and dad walked out of the room. She knew that she was still being looked at…and she would think about it later. How she felt. How she wanted to stay and also run away…like when she met Hatori and…and was this love? But how could you love someone you didn't even know? Well she had fallen in love at first sight, maybe, with Hatori. He had just been so…tall…and his glasses were so square and he always had on the nicest sweaters and he was so nice to her and….and love at first sight….that wasn't real.
Minegishi said that it wasn't real and they were actually in love.
They said that love at first sight was just for the movies that Mob liked. Elsa agreed. Well Elsa wasn't real but she'd had a good point when she told Anna that she couldn't marry someone that she just met…even though they had a whole song together. She had been right, of course, because Hans turned out to be the bad guy….but life was not like movies…so did that mean that love at first sight was real after all? Mom had said, before, that she met dad at a train station and then they fell in love and got married…and dad said that from the moment he saw mom that he had cared for her…which was dad speak for loved her…and Sho said that he thought that Shimazaki was cool from the moment they met…which was Sho for fell in love with so….so maybe it was real? She sort of wished that it was….that someone could fall in love at first sight with her….but she knew better. That was for princesses and stuff.
And Mob was not a princess.