I HATE MY FREAKING LIFE! WELL ANYWAYZ my life has been busy all of a sudden and I am so freaking tired...
Chapter 11 Christmas! ughhh
Killa: WAKE UP EVERYBODY! ITS CHRISTMAS MORNING!
All: UGHHHHHHHHHHHH...SHUT UP KILLA!
Killa: why? Its christmas Morning! ( jumps on everybody 10 times before moving to the next person )
Ahnel: jump on my one more time and you are dead...
Killa: WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE! ( jumps on Ahnel 90 more times )
Ahnel: thats it ( throws hammers at Killa )
Killa: ooooOOOOooooo hammers!
Alexia: KILLA SHUT UP BEFORE I KILL YOU HARDCORE!
Sephiroth: ughhhhhh...( looks at the clock ) WHAT THE HELL? YOU WOKE US UP AT FREAKING 1:00 AM!
Kanna: WHAT? ( looks at the clock ) KILLA!
Killa: umm...( looks over to Zax,Loz,and Cloud ) HEY THESE GUYS ARENT AWAKE YET! ( jumps on them )
Shadow: arghh! thats it! ( takes out a kitchen sink and bangs Killa on the head repeatedly )
Kadaj: WTF? A KITCHEN SINK!
Yazoo: dont ask...actually ask Kanna
Sephiroth: I remember that day..
Kanna: the day Shadow pummeled the griffin with a kitchen sink
Kadaj,Yazoo?????????????????????????????????????????????
Killa: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKEEEEEEE UP!
Cloud: mmmmmmmm SHUT UP! ( throws beef at the crazy wolf demon )
Zax: what the heck is happening? some chicken lighting storm?
Loz: or chicken hurricane?
Killa: NOPE!
Zax,Loz: man...
Killa: ITS CHRISTMAS!
All: KILLA SHUT UP ALREADY!
Killa: why?
Shadow: hey guys I have a plan...
All: what?
Shadow: for a present I got her cheese
All; sooo...
Shadow: so she can shut up!
All: OOOOHHH good plan
Killa: YAY EVERYONE IS UP!
Kanna,Sephiroth: except for Acid
Killa:who?
Shadow: my boyfriend
Kadaj: YOUR GAY?
Shadow: HELL NOO! IM A GIRL!
Yazoo: and yet your name is Shadow
Shadow: FINE! IM CHANGING IT TO SHADOWZ!
Kadaj: if you say so...
ShadowZ: ARGH!
Killa: too bad my boyfriend isnt here yet
All: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
Killa: DUH! his name is Toxic
All: never heard of him...( Sweatdrop ) is he made of cheese?
Killa: NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! hes this other wolf demon
Sephiroth: and where is he?
Killa: working
Kanna: at?
Killa: this army
Yazoo: a cheese army?
Kadaj: or as in military army?
Killa: MILITARY!
Cloud: ok just making sure...
Killa: HUMPH!
ShadowZ: oh Killa
Killa: yeah?
ShadowZ: see what I got?
Killa: CHEESE!
Sephiroth: hey Kanna how about we trap Killa in the cursed Fridge?
Kanna: if it will shut her up sure
Sephiroth: fine by me ( takes out a fridger that Pink with hot pink flowers all over it and has Aeris/Aerith on the front dressed in all pink ) ...why did Zax give this to me again?
Kanna: how would I know?
Zax: to remind you not to kill my girlfriend
Sephiroth: well then it didnt work...
ShadowZ: HEY KILLA! IF YOU WANT IT GO GET IT! ( throws it into the fridge )
Killa: CHEESE! ( goes into the fridge and gets trapped ) AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Kanna: she isnt shutting up...
Killa: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sephiroth: I thought you said Cheese would shut her up ShadowZ
Killa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ShadowZ: IM SORRY!
Killa: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Kadaj: AGH! ( throws cheese biscuits in the fridge )
Killa: CHHEESE! AAAHHHHH
Yazoo: whats wrong with this wolf demon? ( throws 10 tons of cheese in the fridge )
Killa: CCCCCCCHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEESSSSSEEEEE!AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kanna: argh... ( throws a lifesize cheese replica of Killa in the fridge )
Killa: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo
All; FINALLY!
Killa: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
All: uggghhhhhhhh
In the Fridge
Killa: CHEESE! AHHHH AERIS! huh, HI CLOUD!
Cloud: hey Killa, how you get in here?
Killa: THE CRUEL FATE THAT KANNA AND SEPHIROTH HAS PUT UPON ME, OH WOE IS ME!
Cloud: Kanna and Sephiroth huh? Sinister Kadaj and cunning Yazoo, MAN-UH!
From the outside Kanna yells " CLOUD DONT STEAL MY SAYING! "
Cloud: ok...( sweatdrop )
Killa: is there anything to eat, I ate my cheese already
Cloud: ooo eggnog. want some?
Killa: sure!
Outside the Fridge
Kadaj: I am so happy Cloud is in the fridge
Yazoo: a cruel fate he has been cursed with
Kanna: AHAHAHAHAHA!
Ahnel: but now we cant go to sleep again
Alexia: oh well, who wants to listen to My December by Linkin Park!
All: we do! ( Ahnel puts it on )
Radio:
this
is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my
december
this is all so clear
this is my december
this
is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was
something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to
make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the
things i said to you
and i give it all away
just to have
somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come
home to
this is my december
these are my snow covered
dreams
this is me pretending
this is all i need
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel
like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there
was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to you
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to
go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
this
is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my
december
this is all so clear
and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have
someone to come home to
Kanna,Sephiroth: LINKIN PARK ROCKS!
ShadowZ: I still like Numb better
Kadaj,Yazoo: really? We like Hit the Floor
Zax,Loz: for us its Breaking the Habit
Cloud,Acid: Easier to run for us
Kanna,Sephiroth: AND OF COURSE FAINT IS OURS!
Alexia: I dont know I like Pushing me Away Reanimation style
Ahnel: mine would have to be Somewhere I belong
Zax: HEY WHO WANTS TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!
All: OOO WE DO!
Everyone gathers around a fire Sephiroth casted, even the fridge which apparently hopped over thanx to a Chocobo and Cheese
Kanna; alright who goes first!
Sephiroth: well it was Zax Idea so he goes first
Zax: YEAH ITS MY RULES FOR THIS GAME! ( gets glares form everybody ) or not... ( spins the bottle that appeared out of nowhere and lands on Alexia )
Alexia: great...
Zax: YES! I DARE YOU TO SWITCH KADAJ FOR YAZOO!
Alexia: OK IM FINE WITH THAT! ( throws Kadaj and grabs Yazoo which was hiding behind Kanna )
Yazoo: curse you Zax...
Ahnel: hold on, which version are we playing?
Kanna: our version, we do dares all the way
Ahnel: nice
Alexia: my turn! ( spins the bottle and lands on Kanna )
Kanna: here we go...
Alexia; DARE YOU TO MARRY SEPHIROTH!
Kanna: WHAT!...hmmm...I GET TO TORTURE HIM MORE!
Sephiroth: MAN-UH! ( throws the fridge at Alexia )
Killa and Cloud yell from the inside of the fridge " DAMN IT SEPHIROTH GO EASY! THERES NOT MUCH ROOM IN HERE!"
Alexia: ow...
Kanna: AHAHAHAHA! ( spins the bottle and lands on Loz )
Loz: oh no...( gulp )
Kanna: I DARE YOU TO...HIT AHNEL UPSIDE HER HEAD!
Loz,Ahnel: WHAT!
Loz: fine...( hits Ahnel upside her head hard )
Ahnel: ARGH!
Loz: hehehe! ( spins the bottle and lands on Sephiroth )
Sephiroth; have me do anything stupid and I will Kill you...
Loz: umm...I dare...you...to...DRESS UP AS A GIRL,GO TO THE HONEYBEE INN AND DRESS IN A BEE OUTFIT!
All: I WOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT LOZ!
Loz; why?
Sephiroth: Loz...
Loz: yes?
Sephiroth: BITCH! ( puts Loz in a dress and chases him out of the house )
Loz: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( Sephiroth comes back )
Sephiroth: all right...( spins the bottle and lands on Ahnel )
Ahnel: ...please?
Sephiroth: hehe dare you to go hurt Loz for me, bring him back and put make up on him
Ahnel: ALRIGHT! ( goes after Loz )
All: 00! that was harsh Seph
Sephiroth: thank you
ShadowZ: I think this is getting to dangerous
Acid: so we should stop the game?
Sephiroth: for now...
Kanna: we still havent decorated have we?
All: ummm...( everybody looks around ) no...
Kanna: well then lets!
Everybody starts decorating the whole bloody mansion in the Northern Crater.Unfortunately Kanna got stuck in the glitter which made her black and silver hair more shiny, and Sephiroth had to kiss Alexia and Ahnel like how many times since Zax made him put up the misletoes. ShadowZ got burned in the kitchen from trying to cook but got kicked out by the sparkly haired Kanna and enraged Sephiroth.Alexia and Ahnel got squashed by the Christmas ornaments since well, Loz casted Quake 3 on them. Alexia got mad so she casted Quake 3 90 times and don't forget her materia is equipped to Quadra Magic so...Loz got hit 360 times. Ahnel got Loz poked to death while still wearing a dress and make-up. Killa was playing I -de-clare-war with Cloud in the fridge while trying to decorate it to hide away the pink but since its cursed, that won't happen. After about 7 hours the whole bloody mansion is finished.
Kanna: FINALLY!
Sephiroth: well now I dont have to kiss anyone anymore...
Alexia: HOLD ON! Kanna is your wife so you have to kiss her
Sephiroth: man...
Zax: so when are we gonna open presents?
Kadaj: and play pranks?
Yazoo: shut up Kadaj...
Cloud,Killa: AND LET US OUT?
All: we will let you guys out when we feel like it
Cloud,Killa: MAN...
Kanna: don't even think of saying my saying
Cloud,Killa: UHHH...
Kanna: and they are going down ( puts on another pair of black leather gloves and shakes the fridge )
Cloud,Killa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Kanna: and my deed is done ( disposes the gloves she used to shake the fridge )
Cloud: urp...( throws up on Killa )
Killa: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Ahnel: so who goes first?
Alexia: BOYS GO FIRST!
ATB: WHAT! GIRLS GO FIRST! As gentlemen we let you go
ATG: AS WOMEN WE FORCE YOU ALL!
ATB: NOPE WOMEN GO FIRST!
ATG: fine...
Kanna: Alexia goes first
Alexia: fine...( gets an edible thong and bra ) WTF!
Kadaj,Yazoo: MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Alexia: KADAJ! YAZOO!
Yazoo: It was Kadajs plan!
Kadaj: ...( whistles inncoently )
Kanna: here Alexia this is from all of us ( gives her two brand new pairs of swords,only each pair can combine into one double bladed Katana )
Alexia: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH! ( chases after Kadaj )
Kadaj: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH DONT GO HARDCORE ON MY ASS!
Alexia: GOOD IDEA!
Kadaj: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Sephiroth: there he goes again...
All: WHAT YOU TEACH HIM? ( glares at the One-Winged-Angel )
Sephiroth: what? I didnt teach him anything!
Kanna: AHNEL GOES NEXT!
Ahnel: oh go ahead Kanna go last
Kanna: reason why is because I burned my gifts
Yazoo: no you didnt we stopped you before we burned it
Kanna: oh yeah, dammit
Sephiroth: well this is from all of us ( gives Ahnel a book of all the weapons in the world , including all the ones they made )
Ahnel: SWEET! NOW I CAN HAVE ALL THE WEAPONS IN THE WORLD IN MY POSSESION!
Little did she know, Kadaj was above her hanging a misletoe, Yazoo unfortunately was beside her...
Kadaj: PUCKER UP AHNEL!
Yazoo,Ahnel: KADAJ! YOU SINISTER LITTLE!
Kadaj: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ( runs from Alexia who was in her Lilyous form )
Alexia: come back Kadaj... ( looks down ) GET AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND!
Ahnel: Oh! Wanna fight?
Kanna: will ya two stop it? Just beat the crap out of Kadaj
Ahnel,Alexia: OK! ( goes after Kadaj )
Kadaj: VERY FUNNY KANNA!
Kanna: MUAHAHAHHAHAA!
Killa: NEXT IS SHADOWZ, THEN ITS ME!
ShadowZ: Killa we already gave you your presents
Killa: oh yeah
ShadowZ: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
Zax: ok...your freakin me out now...( nervously gives ShadowZ a cursed Kitchen Sink )
ShadowZ: PERFECT! NOW I CAN TRICK KILLA MORE!
Killa: huh?
ShadowZ: nothing...
Loz: now for Kanna
Alexia: we already gave Kanna her gift, permission to marry Sephiroth and let her torture him
Sephiroth: OH WOE IS ME!
Kanna: MUAHAHAHAHHAA! ( drags Sephiroth to a shadowy corner )
Yazoo: MY POOR BROTHER!
Zax: man, he just got raped...
Cloud: WHAT! REALLY? MY LIFE LONG WISH REALIZED!
Ahnel: HERE ZAX! ( gives Zax the Biggest Chicken Wing Ever )
Zax: YAY! ( munches )
Loz: no fair!...
Alexia: dont worry Loz ( gives Loz the Biggest Chicken Leg Ever )
Loz: YAY! CHICKEN SPAR?
Zax: chicken spar ( they both spar with their chicken )
Killa: HERE YAZOO! ( gives him a new gunblade called Shadow Stalker )
Yazoo: YES! DAMN CLOUD CUT VELVET NIGHTMARE IN HALF!
Cloud: AND PROUD OF IT! ( Kanna drags Sephiroth back )
Kanna: and for Sephs gift! He gets permission to cut Cloud up!
Cloud: WHAT?
Sephiroth: my pleasure ( unsheathes Masamune )
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! ( busts out the Fridge with eggnog in hand ) IM ARMED WITH EGGNOG!
Sephiroth: muahahaha! ( cuts the carton of eggnog and runs after Cloud )
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! ( runs around the Northern Crater )
Acid: and what about Clouds gift?
All: HE GETS CUT BY HIS IDOL!
Cloud: VERY FUNNY! ( comes back and falls flat on his face ) XX
ShadowZ: oh and I forgot Acids Gift, here ya go! ( gives Acid cursed bread )
Acid: hehehe ( grins evilly and stares at Killa in the broken fridge ) Killa...
Killa: ummm...I think I hear my Mother calling
Kanna: Killa you dont have parents
Killa: shit...
Zax: hey everyone up for annoying people by caroling?
All: SURE! ( holy music plays out of nowhere )
Kanna,Sephiroth: WTF?
Killa,ShadowZ: FORGET THIS MUSIC! ( kills the band and plays Linkin Park )
Kadaj,Yazoo: WHERE THE HELL DID THE HOLY MUSIC COME FROM? ( holy music plays )
Alexia,Ahnel: didnt ya guys just kill the band?
Killa,ShadowZ: yeah...
Kanna: FORGET THIS, PUT ON OWA PLEASE! ( drags Nobou Uematsu in )
Nobou:... alrights if you let me go ( starts conducting )
Sephiroth: now thats my type of music, besides rock anyway
Zax.Cloud: NO MORE HOLY MUSIC! ( holy music plays again )
Kadaj,Yazoo: WTF IS GOING ON? ( everybody looks up and sees three angels )
1A: oh no were caught
2A: well then lets play it louder
3A: I wouldnt do that...they are carrying weapons
All: GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! AND STOP PLAYING THAT HOLY MUSIC!
1A: NO! ( plays it louder )
Nobou: umm...this is downright creepy...( leaves )
All: GET OUT! ( blasts the angels away )
Zax: now can we go caroling?
All: yes
Inside of Aeris, Jenova, and Hojos house
Hojo: Who the Hell is outside our cottage?
Jenova: I thought we said no carolers this year
Aeris: I think they knocked down the sign outside
Jenova: we had a sign?
Hojo: I think so
Aeris: I am still wondering why we have a sign since nobody knows where we live
Hojo,Jenova: ...we were bored
Aeris: oh jeez ( sigh )
Outside the three crazies house
All: DASHING THROUGH THE WAR,
USING A ONE SLAVE CHAINED BLADE,
O'ER THE BLOOD WE GO,
KILLING ALL THE WAY,
BELLS AT FUNERALS RING,
MAKING SPIRITS SAD
WHAT FUN IT IS TO CACKLE AND SCREAM
A DEADLY WAR SONG
OH JINGLE HEADS, JINGLE HEADS,
BLEEDING ALL THE WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO KILL
WITH A ONE SLAVE CHAINED BLADE
JINGLE HEADS, JINGLE HEADS
BLEEDING ALL THE WAY
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO KILL
WITH A ONE SLAVE CHAINED BLADE
Inside the house
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE HATE THAT SONG! ITS BURNS!
Outside again
Kanna: anyone want to sing Silent night?
All: we do!
(
Zax,Loz,Killa,Cloud ) CHEESE
night! CHICKEN night!
All is not calm, nothing is bright
round
yon BACON, CHICKEN, and CHEESE
Holy Nachos so spicy and
mild,
Sleep With a full stomach
Sleep With a full stomach
(Kanna,Sephiroth,ShadowZ,Acid,Alexia,Ahnel)Deadly
night! Burning night!
All will shake at the sight;
Lava stream
from Valcanos afar,
Evil sings and Kills all,
BURNING IN
FIRE
BURNING IN FIRE
(All)CHEESE
night! DEADLY night!
BURNING IN THE EVIL LIGHT
radiant beams
from Fire and Sun,
With a hint of LAVA,
BURN IN THE FIRE
BURN
IN THE NACHOS!
In the house
Hojo: ok they are now freaking me out
Jenova,Aeris: same here...
Hojo: RUN!
Jenova,Aeris: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( they all run out but fall into the lifestream )
Outside the now abandon house
Kanna: HEY WE SCARED THEM OUT!
Yazoo,Kadaj,Loz,Sephiroth: YES! GOOD-BYE HOJO!
everybody else: GOOD BYE AERIS, GOOD BYE JENOVA!
All: NO MORE CRAZY SCIENTIST, CETRA, AND ALIEN! YAY! ( goes back to the bloody mansion )
In the Lifestream
Lucrecia: WTF? whos that?
Clouds Mother: I have no idea but wanna beat them up instead?
Lifestream: sure...HEY THATS JENOVA! THE ONE WHO POISONED ME!
Lucrecia: wa? HEY THATS HOJO! THE ONE WHO STOLE SEPHIROTH FROM ME!
Clouds Mother: AND THATS AERIS! THE ONE WHO ABONDONED MY LITTLE CHOCOBO!
Lucrecia,Lifestrean: WA?
Clouds Mother: I will explain later
AJH: ummmmmm...we should go shouldnt we? ehehee...( tries to creep away )
CM,L,LS: OH NO YOU DONT!
AJH: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Back to the world of the living
Cloud: did anyone hear...
All: NO!
Cloud: ok ok just checking
Yazoo: ummm Alexia whats wrong with your face?
Alexia: huh?
Ahnel: theres a big thick line across your forehead down to your chin ( its like the Friends Joke, when Rachel ahh nevermind )
Alexia: WHAT? ( runs to the bathroom which is 100 floors up )
Kadaj: MUAHAHHAHHAHA!
Kanna: Kadaj...did you?
Kadaj: yep!
Sephiroth: yep hes definitely part of my soul ( gets glares from everyone ) what? I stabbed out an assistants eye out with a pen when I was 10
All: ok...
Kanna: but then again I did destroy 35 labs when I was 10
All: ok get away from us you freaks...
Kanna,Sephiroth: AND PROUD OF IT!
On the 100 floor
Alexia: Where the hell is the bathroom? ( encounters a slave ) Excuse me where is the bathroom?
Slave: in the basement, go 107 floors down
Alexia: WTF? WHY DID THE ELEVATORS BREAK DOWN? ( leaves )
And out of the shadows appear Kadaj
Kadaj: MUAHAHAHAHA! ITS SO FUN PRANKING HER! I am still wondering why she wont use her teleportation materia...oh yeah I stole it! ( follows Alexia )
On the 7 floor in the basement
Alexia: WTF! still no bathroom ( sees Kanna and Sephiroth ) KANNA! SEPHIROTH!
Kanna,Sephiroth: huh? oh hey Alexia! didnt think we would see you on our floor
Alexia: I thought there was a bathroom here
Kanna,Sephiroth: WHAT? Hell no, its on the first floor
Alexia: uuuggghhhhh alright then thanx ( goes to the first floor )
Kanna: you think this is Kadajs bidding?
Sephiroth: yep he just told me
Kanna: well you are his brother
Sephiroth: We have our ways
1st floor
Alexia: FINALLY! the bathroom! ( knocks on the door )
Yazoo: I am in here
Alexia: YAZOO! what are you doing?
Yazoo: combing my hair
Alexia: Let me in!
Yazoo: NO!
Alexia: ARGH!
Yazoo: Go to the one on the 200 floor
Alexia: HELL NO!
Yazoo: well then I aint movin
Alexia: oh yes you are ( Turns into her lilyous form and drags Yazoo out )
Yazoo: HEY!
Alexia: WTF! THERES NO MIRROR HERE!
Yazoo: thats why I said go to the 200 bathroom
Alexia: WHY ME! ( goes to the 200 floor )
Yazoo: cant believe she didnt look farther in the bathroom
Kadaj: still searching?
Yazoo: yes
Kadaj: MUAHAHAHA! ( follows Alexia )
On the 200 floor OoO
Alexia: FINALLY! ( enters the bathroom and finds out nothing is on her face )...KADAJ!1
Kadaj: MUAHHAAHAHHAHAA! ( runs away )
But then his name is heard again but only from everybody
Alexia: you done it know ( chases after Kadaj )
All: KADAJ WE ARE GOING TO KILL YOU! ( chases after Kadaj )
Kadaj: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO everyone beats up Kadaj, had a very weird Christmas, and the another crisis happens...well hope ya enjoyed this, I am in pain. Find out the next crisis in the next chap, hopefully I wont be dead!