Elliot couldn't believe she had actually left. He had made her cry and she left him. He hated seeing women cry. It always broke his heart when he'd see Kathy or his daughters cry. He wanted more than anything to make them feel better, but what could he do when he was the one who made the tears fall? He hoped Olivia would come back. They had to straighten all this out. All these thoughts were rushing to his mind. Had he really told her he loved her? He did, didn't he? Love her? Of course, but he would never tell her. That's not the kind of relationship they had. Besides, he had given his heart to Kathy a long time ago, and she still had a little piece of it. It wouldn't be fair to Olivia.
A nurse walked in and interrupted his thoughts. When she asked how he felt, he asked for more pain medication. All he wanted was to fall asleep and not think about anything that had just happened. Luckily, the drugs took effect almost instantly and Elliot slept.
Elliot had no more visitors on Sunday. This was fine by him, he slept most of the day. He wasn't up for seeing anyone anyway. He had just made his partner cry. The only woman that had been there for him wholeheartedly for the past eight years. She never let him wallow in self pity after Kathy left him. She was the only reason he got out of bed some mornings because he knew if he didn't, she'd come banging on his door. He'd never told her how much he appreciated her compassion and support. The last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize their partnership.
"Knock knock," Elliot heard a familiar voice arouse him from his dreams.
"Hey guys," he said, his voice just above a whisper. He was feeling better, his fever was gone, but his throat was so raw it hurt to speak at all.
Fin and Munch made their way to Elliot's bedside. Munch opened the flap of his trench coat to reveal a familiar Styrofoam container. "Brought you some lunch," he said smiling.
Elliot happily took the cup and tasted the delicious strawberry milkshake. "I think I just fell in love with you," Elliot said, winking at John.
"So that's how you wound up with all those ex-wives," Fin said, laughing.
John ignored them both. "How you doing, man?" he asked Elliot seriously.
"Why do people ask that? Do you really care?" Elliot answered.
"Yeah, I care. Olivia's been moping around the station for days, she's like a lost puppy without you there," Munch said.
A wave of guilt rushed through Elliot. He tried to regain his composure. "Yeah, I have that effect on women," he said, smiling at the guys, hoping they wouldn't see through his act.
"Man, you sound awful," Fin said.
"Jesus, Fin, way to kick a man when he's down," Munch said coming to the defense of Elliot.
"No, he's right, I do," Elliot said. His milkshake was making him shiver, so he pulled the blanket tight around his chin. The two detectives stayed for a few minutes before leaving to catch lunch.
"We'll check in with you tomorrow," Fin said as they left the room.
Silence. Elliot hated being alone with his thoughts. He flipped on the TV, mindlessly flipping through the channels, skipping the soaps he'd never been home to watch during the day. Nothing could take his mind off Olivia. He tried sleeping, reading, even coloring in the Harry Potter coloring book Lizzie had brought him. He just couldn't erase the image of Olivia with tears in her eyes. Tears he had brought to those beautiful brown eyes. He wanted more than anything for her to walk through that door so he could look into her eyes and beg for forgiveness. For making her question their friendship. He needed to explain to her what happened. Did he even know what happened? Could he really be having these thoughts about his partner? Could this feeling really be mutual? What did she mean with those words 'Love is what you stay for?' Because she had stayed. She had stayed because she loved him. Olivia had never been good with words and feelings, and she had finally told him how she felt, and he had made her cry.
Elliot happily accepted medicine the rest of the afternoon. He slept almost straight through the night, waking only once when a nurse took his temperature. When he awoke in the morning, he could feel the sunlight streaming through his blinds onto his bed. It was warm, and he didn't want to open his eyes. He didn't want to think about surgery or Olivia. He just wanted to fall back asleep and wake up a week ago when things were normal. When he hadn't made his best friend cry.
But he had to wake up. A nurse made him change into a gown and climb into a new bed. The doctors were all talking to him, but he wasn't listening. He just wanted the medicine to make him sleepy. He closed his eyes as they wheeled him down the hall, but opened them when he heard a familiar voice from behind.
"Wait," she pleaded, running after the nurse wheeling Elliot to surgery.