Mob had never hated anyone before.
Mob hated things, plenty of things, but not people. She hated shampoo when it got in her eyes. She hated ketchup when it stained dad's shirts and she couldn't get it out. She hated tattoos but only when Sho gave them to himself. She hated legos when she stepped on them. She hated milk too even, sometimes, like when she got up and got a drink of milk in the middle of the night without checking if it was good or not and she ended up with a mouth full of sour milk…that hadn't been a fun day. She even hated herself sometimes, too, like when she had mean thoughts…thoughts like…
Thoughts like how she really wanted Fukuda to drink a full glass of sour milk.
"Where's my brother?" asked Mob as Fukuda opened the door. She knew that she should have been polite. She should have bowed and said 'hi, how are you' or 'it's nice to see you' but…well she didn't want to do that. She was here to see Sho. She was here to see her little brother and talk to him and…and ask him why in the world he would have lied to her…for months!
Months and months of lies…from her own little brother….
"Hello, Miss Suzuki. You look well." Said Fukuda. She had certainly gotten taller. She came up over his stomach now…she was twelve now, wasn't she? Twelve years old…he remembered when she had been two. Ten years ago. She had been so small then…and not nearly as terrifying as she was now. She was…her eyes were blank and her face was flat…but her aura…she was lit up like a Christmas tree.
An angry Christmas tree….
"I've been on an airplane for thirteen hours. Where's my brother." Said Mob as she stepped through the door. She walked right past Fukuda. She needed to sit down. She had been sitting down for hours and hours…and she needed to sit down again. She didn't know why. She was just…tired. She had never been so tired from travelling before…
But she'd never had to deal with anything like this before.
Fukuda was staring at her. She pulled her hoodie close. She didn't want him to look at her…she wished that she'd bought the sweater Shibata made for her. She hadn't thought to pack. She just got a plane and then left. She should have thought to bring her big sweater…and probably about a million other things. She hadn't been thinking.
All she could think about was Sho…and what he had done.
"He's…sleeping." Said Fukuda as Shigeko walked right past him. She hadn't even taken off her shoes…and he had no idea what she had meant by that. He had no idea what was going on in her head. She was just as blank as always. Her aura said that she was upset, very upset, but he had no idea what he was supposed to do. When Suzuki got this upset he showed it…but that wasn't Shigeko's way…and he had no idea what was coming to him…
He wished that she would just get on with it already.
"Ok." Said Mob. She could wait. She didn't know how long it would take for him to wake up but she would wait all day and all night if she had to. She had to…talk to him. Not yell at him…even though she felt like yelling. She felt like yelling and screaming and…and she would never do that to Sho. Fukuda on the other hand…he was still looking at her. She had no idea why. She wished that he would just open his mouth and get on with whatever it was that he wanted to say. He'd never had problems saying what was on his mind before. Like how he thought that she was doing…stuff…with people and….she didn't want to think about that now.
She was tired of thinking about things.
The whole plane ride had been nothing but thinking about things. About how Sho had been gone for so long. About how Sho had lied to her. About how she had done something to make Sho lie to her. About how she had done something to make Sho want to be away from her. About how Sho had kept things from her, big things like where she was, and other big things….well big things which were also little…little but bigger than when she had lost seen them…
Sho had been keeping baby Mukai a secret from her.
She held her braids down and…oh. She lost one of her bows. She didn't care. She had a whole bag full of them. She'd rather lose every single bow and hair tie that she owned if it meant she got to have her little brother…and also Mukai. Baby Mukai…well she had been a baby before. She was two now….Mob had missed two of her birthdays…and two Christmases….and two New Year's…and two…just…it had been so long and…and it had only been a long time for her. Sho had been coming here for a long time…and she'd had to hear about it from her best friend…but Minegishi hadn't known that it was a secret….
Mob was the last person know….and she shouldn't have been the last person to know.
"Wh-what are you doing?" asked Fukuda. Her aura was flaring. She was glaring at him. There, her eyes were narrowed, and she was playing with her hair. That was one of her tells. Something was bothering her…he knew what was bothering her. She knew…she knew and she was here to…he didn't even know what. She was here but not Suzuki…and he had no idea what that meant. He had no idea what anything meant…
He just knew that he needed her to get on with whatever terrible thing that she was planning on doing to him.
He knew she must have had something planned. She wasn't Suzuki, he believed in swift and often unnecessarily severe punishment, she believed in….well he had no idea what she believed in. He had no idea what she was planning on doing to him, she must have known what had happened, and she must have been planning on doing something….but what?
Whatever it was she needed to get on with it.
"I'm going to wait for him to wake up and…oh. My shoes. Sorry." said Mob as she noticed that she hadn't taken off her shoes yet. She was mad at Fukuda…but that was no excuse to wear her shoes in the house. She took her shoes off with her powers and put them in the genkan. She was sort of glad that she had still been wearing her shoes, actually, that gave her an excuse to look away from Fukuda. He was still looking at her though….
She really wished that she'd brought her big sweater.
She…could not believe that she had done. She had kissed a boy…Teru….she had kissed him…and even more than kissed him…and it had been good and bad at the same time…but now it just made her mostly feel bad. Gross. Gross because…well because she felt like….like she shouldn't have done that. She…well at the time it had been nice…a boy liking her enough to do that with her. Not just any boy, too, Teru. The same Teru who had kissed her…back when she'd never kissed anyone before. It was so lucky that he had…that they had been in the same place…but not really because he might have been the talent that dad was scouting so that was a bad thing actually, them being in the same place…but at the time it had been so nice….but now it wasn't.
She had done stuff…the same stuff that Fukuda thought that she did with Shimazaki…and she hadn't done it with Shimazaki but…well she felt bad that she had done anything at all.
"You know you-" said Fukuda. He had been about to tell her that if she wanted to keep her shoes on she could….out in the hallway…or in her own apartment. He had put Sho under a while ago. It had been hard, he'd used up a lot of his own energy, but it had been worth it. There was no way he was getting up anytime soon….anytime today. When he did…well Fukuda would deal with that…but not now. No, now he just…he needed to think…to figure it out…
How he was going to get out of this…or at least make the most of it.
If Suzuki knew then Fukuda…well he would have been in pain right now. He didn't know if Suzuki would kill him. He just knew that Suzuki…well he did not like it when people broke his trust. He would have done something, anything, to Fukuda. Something to make him learn, to teach him, to ingrain it into his mind that he had done something wrong….and to never do it again.
Lying. Treason. Running off with his least favorite child. All of it.
"No…I'm not sorry. If I want to wear shoes inside then….then I'll wear shoes inside! But I don't want to do that." Said Mob. She just…she wasn't sorry. She knew what he was going to say. It was going to be something mean. It was going to be something that was both very polite and very mean. He didn't want to be nice to her. He didn't want to be friends with her. He didn't even want to be nice. He…she was having trouble being nice to him…and part of her…part of her didn't know why….why she had to be nice to him…
He was the one who had put Sho up to all of this after all.
"You can do whatever you want. I understand. I hear you loud and clear." Said Fukuda as diplomatically as he could. That was always a good tactic to take with her, the diplomatic one, she respected that. Suzuki had always respected that. She was his daughter after all…well sort of. He had a daughter….an actual daughter….and that must have been who Shigeko had been there for.
She knew that the baby was here. Why not go to her? Why stand there and harass him like that?
"I can't do whatever I want. I can't wake my little brother up." Said Mob. She had to be nice now. She had been mean there, way too mean, and she just…she needed to calm down. She needed to calm down and she needed to sit down. She went over to the couch and sat down…and that didn't help. She still felt tired and gross and mad and sad and…and Fukuda was still looking at her…and she still wanted him to drink a glass of sour milk….
What was wrong with her?
"You could if you wanted to…it's not like I can do anything to stop you." Said Fukuda as she walked over and sat down like she owned the place…which she did. She owned this place. She was, technically, the boss of him. That was why she was sitting down.
And why he had to stand.
Suzuki did this. It was a power thing. Suzuki liked to stay seating while the people around him stood. He was an important man, he didn't have to get up. It was kind of funny, really, when you knew why he did that. His father had told him that. Fukuda had been there when he said it. Some people had come by Suzuki's house, some important associates of his father's, and Suzuki had insisted on hiding just around the corner and watching his father work. He had stayed seated, Mr. Suzuki, because he was the most important man in the room…he had said. Then he had told Suzuki and Fukuda to get out of his sight because he did not like being spied on…which worked out good because they had stuff to do that day…well Suzuki had been weirdly jumpy but that made no sense. His father hadn't been pissed off, just overly dramatic, like Suzuki was. Like father like son.
And like daughter, too.
"Why would I want to do that, though? That would be mean and…and I love my brother and I would never do anything to hurt him. I love him and I…I would never…" said Mob. She was mad at Sho…she hated being mad at him. She was mad at him and she didn't want to be and…and she wanted him to wake up. She wanted him to wake up so they could talk about this but she wasn't going to be the one to wake him up. That was just mean.
She may have been in a mean mood today but she wasn't going to act on it.
"Yes. You love him like you love everyone." Said Fukuda. He tried and failed to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. Thankfully Shigeko was just as deaf to sarcasm as Suzuki was. If he didn't know better he would have thought that she was Suzuki's actual child.
"No, I love him the most out of everyone else in the world." Said Mob. Love Sho like everyone else? No. She knew that it was mean to play favorites with people like that but she couldn't think of anyone in the whole world that she loved more than her little brother. Even now, even with him being all…mean, like he had been.
"I'm sure you do." Said Fukuda. She loved Sho like she loved everyone else…which meant that she wanted to keep him close. She wanted to keep him near her like she wanted to keep all of her 'friends' near her.
"Good. Now you know I love Sho…and you should have known that in the first place! Why do you think that I don't love-sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you. That was mean." Said Mob. She had tried her best to sound nice there but…but the meanness had just all come out at once. It was like meanness vomit. She had managed to make it stop, like real vomit, but not until she had made a mess all over herself. She rested her head in her hands. She wanted…she just wanted…she wanted her brother. She wanted her brother and she wanted Fukuda gone….
Not dead or anything…just gone from her presence.
"I have no opinion on the way you speak to me, Miss Suzuki." Said Fukuda diplomatically. She wasn't as deaf to sarcasm as she seemed. She had lost her temper there….that was dangerous. He wanted her to get on with whatever it was that she was planning to do…but also he wanted…he wanted her to get up off of that couch and just…go. He wanted her gone back to her friends and Suzuki and…and he wanted….he wanted his life with Sho back.
The life that they'd made for themselves here…away from all the insanity of the group.
"My name is Shigeko." said Mob with a sigh. The only person who could call her Miss Suzuki was Serizawa and that was because he was Serizawa. She knew that they were friends, she knew that he liked her, and she liked him too. That was what made it ok. She…didn't like Fukuda…and she hadn't liked him for a while…
He could have at least used her name…if he was going to be like that.
"Shigeko then." Said Fukuda. He wanted to sit down. He wanted to be level with her. She didn't get to tell him to call her by her given name, like an equal, if they weren't equals at all. Suzuki at least never pretended that they were equals.
"My friends call me Mob." Said Mob. Her friends never called her Shigeko. Her friends called her Mob…the friends that she had left behind…to be here. To be sitting here on this couch waiting for Sho to wake up.
"Mob…then." Said Fukuda. He hated it, that nickname, and he always had. It wasn't a name, first of all, and second of all it was a misnomer. As if she could ever be anything even close to a background character.
"No…don't call me Mob. It makes me feel gross." Said Mob. She shuddered there. Her friends called her Mob. Fukuda was not her friend. He was the person who made her brother sneak around and lie to her. He was the one who…well he was the one who…who made her feel like this….who made her feel all of these terrible feelings.
"Shigeko then." Said Fukuda tying his best to get at what it was that she was trying to tell him here. She was an enigma. Suzuki…well he was easy to understand. Shigeko…wasn't. She kept her cards close…if that was what she was even playing. Maybe some kind of chess…or Chinese checkers. She'd been fond of that game when she'd been small….but she wasn't small anymore. She hadn't been small for a very long time now.
"No…that makes me feel gross too." Said Mob. Everything that he said to her made her feel gross…or maybe she was just the one making herself feel gross. She kept on wishing that he'd just go into the fridge and take a long drink of sour milk…so of course she felt gross. She felt so gross and…and she was being gross. Just because someone had done something wrong to her didn't mean that she got to be mean to them. Two wrongs didn't make a right.
"Then what do you want me to call you?" asked Fukuda with a sigh. That…may have been the wrong thing to say. He knew Suzuki. He knew where his buttons were…but Shigeko's buttons were a mystery to him. He had just asked her a question and now….well there had been an earthquake localized on that room.
He hoped that Sho didn't get up soon.
"I…I don't know! Don't call me anything! Don't…just…leave me alone!" said Mob. She tucked her head into her chest and closed her eyes. She didn't know. What was she even supposed to say? That she didn't want him to call her anything? That she wished that he would just go away and never look at her or talk to her again? That she wanted him to drink sour milk or do something else terrible as punishment for what he had done? That she wanted him to…to say sorry. Sorry for keeping Mukai a secret, sorry for takin Sho away from her, and sorry for making Sho lie to her. She wanted…
She mostly just wanted to lay down.
"I'll leave you, then." Said Fukuda. Good. He finally had an out. He could go and sit by Sho's side…and keep him asleep. That was good. He needed to sleep. He needed to sleep until…well until Fukuda could figure out what he was supposed to do. Suzuki…he had to have been coming…and when he did Fukuda was going to throw himself at Suzuki's mercy. He was going to go above Shigeko's head, take his punishment no matter how terrible, so he could spare Sho his father's wrath….
A good plan. The best plan he possibly could have thought up.
"No, wait! That was mean…I'm very mean right now…I just…you and Sho to lie to me….and he lied to me!" said Mob. That was…she was being mean again. It was hard to keep all the meanness down. No matter what she did it was…coming up. Like vomit. Like she was the one who had drank the sour milk…not Fukuda….not that Fukuda had drank any sour milk…but she just…
She wanted to pour him a big glass of sour milk…and she wanted to serve it to him with a crazy straw.
"About what, Miss Suzuki?" asked Fukuda. He was going back with the diplomatic approach. Time to be diplomatic…and to play dumb. He had no idea what to do. He would have thrown himself to her mercy if she had been Suzuki…but Suzuki was always swift in punishment. He punished you and you knew that it would be painful but it was over and done with eventually.
Shigeko…he had no idea what Shigeko did to people….
"You guys said that you were going to stay in London so that Sho could be with Emmy because he loves her and wants to be with her for the rest of his life. You lied. This is not London, this is Seasoning City, and we're in Japan! Japan is not London!" said Mob. She got back up to her feet. She just…she couldn't sit down anymore. He was standing over her, looking down at her, and trying his best to make her feel small. She knew that he was trying to make her feel small…but she was not small….
She was twelve, now, and…and she was not…she was not small.
She was twelve now. She was twelve and…and she was the vice president of Claw and….and she was dad's daughter and…and she was Sho's big sister. That was the important part. She was Sho's big sister and she had to…to be there for him. She wasn't supposed to get upset with him…so she wouldn't be. She was upset with…she wasn't supposed to be upset with anyone…but if she had to be upset with Fukuda…because he was the one….
He was the cause of all of this!
He was the one who took Sho away from her. He was the one who had been taking Sho away, telling him to lie to her, and…and he was the one who took Mukai from her too! He took her away from her and…and he was supposed to have brought her to a family that loved her…but she loved her! She had loved baby Mukai and…and Fukuda had taken baby Mukai away from her because she had been too little to take care of her, he had said…..
She wasn't little anymore.
"I am aware of where I am geographically." Said Fukuda. He took a step back. She was on her feet now…and she was smaller without her shoes on. She was smaller in just her sock feet….but she wasn't small. She was…she was a child but also…also not. She was staring him down. She was staring him down and…and her aura was painful. Where it touched him it hurt….and he had no idea if she was doing that on purpose or not…
He had never pissed her off that badly before…he needed to pull back…but it was…hard….
"Don't talk to me like that…you don't even talk to dad like that…so don't talk to me like that. You talk to dad like you like him…but you never talk to him like you talk to me…and you've never lied to him…well you did. You lied to him like you lied to me…you lied to your best friend. You can't ever lie to your best friend! That's like….the worst thing that you can do. To lie to someone who loves you-" said Mob. Why did Fukuda have to be like….that? Why did Fukuda have to be so…mean? Why did he have to be mean to her and…and why did he have to…why did he have to teach Sho to lie like that!? And why did he have to keep on calling her that?! And why…why was he such a bad friend to dad…and to Sho…and to her! She hadn't done anything to him…nobody had done anything to him….
So why was he like this?! And why did he make her…why did he have to make her feel like this!?
"You father doesn't love me. He doesn't love anyone but you and himself." Said Fukuda. He tried to keep the words in…but he couldn't. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice…but he couldn't. He just…he couldn't. He was tired. He was tired and he just…couldn't….he couldn't do this anymore.
"My dad loves you. He loves you and he loves…well he loved my mom and-" said Mob. She took deep breaths. Her aura….she needed….she needed a drink. She needed a drink or a smoke or…or…she wished that she had gone with Minegishi. She wished that she had gone to smoke or whatever with Minegishi and their friend. Sho…she loved him…but she had been in too much of a hurry. She should have calmed down….she should have calmed down and…
And she shouldn't have come over when Fukuda was here.
She should have…she didn't know. She should have talked to Sho alone…well she'd had no way of knowing that he'd be asleep when she got here…and she kind of wanted to go to sleep. She wanted to put her head down somewhere and sleep and then tomorrow would happen…and when tomorrow happened everything would over. Like a bad dream….but this wasn't a bad dream. This was reality, the reality she lived in, and in this reality she didn't get to put her head down and go to sleep…and she didn't get do-overs either…even if she had wished that she'd found some way to avid Fukuda. Serizawa had always said to make two save files…but this was life and life did not have save files…
If it did then she would not have saved this game. No way.
"Do not talk about your mother." Said Fukuda lowly. He…did not want to talk about Masami. He did not want to talk about Masami with Shigeko. She…had no right to talk about Masami. Not like that. Not like…like Suzuki…how dare she say that?! Fukuda did the best that he could….to keep calm. Fukuda….could not be upset…could not show that he was upset….could not show that…that…
How dare she!?
How dare she talk about Masami like that? Like she just…Suzuki…he did not love her! Not in the real way! He loved her in the way that he loved every woman…in terms of how she looked…of what she could do for him….he loved every single woman in the sense that he didn't love anyone. He just wanted to possess them…in the same way that Shigeko didn't love people so much as want to possess them…
Like father, like daughter.
They had always bene so alike…even now. Shigeko's aura as practically flaying his. Shigeko was showing him that she could hurt him if she wanted to…and for once he didn't care. She was the one who…she started it! She was the one who had become…this! This person….Masami must have hated him. She would have hated him if…if she had known that he had let Shigeko become this person. She would have hated Shigeko, too, or at least….not been happy with her. Shigeko…she had no right to talk about Masami….not while she was…the person that she was….
And she didn't have the right to hurt him, either!
"Why the h-word not!? She's my mom!" said Mob. She….knew that she was not allowed to talk about her mom with dad….but….but she just…she could talk about her mom if she wanted to! The only person who was the boss of her…dad was the boss of her! She was…she felt like she was going to…she didn't know. The room shook…again and again it shook…and she just…she had no idea…she just…she was mad! Her stomach hurt she was so mad! It was a twisting sort of hurt…like her organs were trying to escape…and she was all…it hut! Talking to Fukuda hurt!
Talking to Fukuda was like having a period. It hurt, it was unpleasant, and she couldn't wait for it to be over.
"Because….because I don't want you to!" said Fukuda. Diplomacy was no longer an option. She just…she had pushed him to this point. Suzuki had never managed to push him to this point but…but Shigeko had! She just…she had just found the line. She had found and crossed the line…and it hurt. It hurt like getting kicked in the chest with a size twenty nine men's shoe.
"Don't yell at me and don't tell me who I can and cannot talk about!" said Mob. Talking to him hurt…and she…it was her birthday! Well it had been…the time zones were different here…but…she was supposed to be happy right now! She was supposed to be happy and…and she couldn't be happy right now! Not with Fukuda being mean…she wished that he would just…she wished that he would…she wished that she would…she just…she wished for a lot of things right now!
"Right! Because how dare I tell the great Suzuki Toui-Shigeko what to do!" said Fukuda
"What? No….because…because….because I know my own dad and I know that he loves you and he loves my mom and….and if I want to talk about my own god damned mother then I will!" said Mob. She had said a bad word…and mom would have been so upset with her. Mom would have put her in timeout for saying that…when she had been little…but she wasn't little. She wasn't little anymore and…and…and she could say whatever she wanted!
"Language." Said Fukuda reflexively. That…he felt better. It had been like popping a balloon. Her aura calmed, the room stopped shaking, and now she was looking up at him with her big brown eyes…she looked like a kid there. She looked kind of like a scared kid….
"Oh no….I'm sorry! I'm sorry for saying that….that was mean of me and…and…" said Mob. She took a step back…and then another…and then another until the backs of her legs hit the couch. She fell down. Now she was sitting again. She was sitting again and….and she…she felt better. Sitting was better. Sitting…she was better now. She just…she was calmer now and…and…
And she couldn't believe that she'd said that…any of that!
"Will you just drop it already!? Nobody's here! Nobody's listening! You can just be yourself already!" said Fukuda. She was sitting down again. She was sitting down again. She thought that…she was…she was sitting down again!
How dare she?!
"This is myself. I'm me." Said Mob. She took a deep breath. She took another deep breath. She just…she wanted to smoke. She felt her Elsa bag….she had stuff…she had her pen and her flask, too, and she had…well she didn't know what Shimazaki had put in it…but it would have been enough to clear her head…and she knew that…that Minegishi had told her about moderation…
But her head hurt. Her stomach hurt. Her back hurt. Her heart her. Everything hurt.
She took her flask from her bag and took a drink. Fukuda was looking at her now….and she wished that he would stop already. What? What was he always looking at her like that for? She was…she wasn't doing anything. She just…she took a drink. It tasted like coconuts and burning. She put her flask back and then took out her cigarette box. If she started a joint and Sho woke up then he would want to share…and people who lied to her didn't get to share. She knew that it was mean but that was just how she felt right now.
She felt mean.
"Thank you….for dropping the act." Said Fukuda. She looked like herself again. Older. Older than she should have been. She held her cigarette between two fingers. It was dangling a bit. She ran a hand through her hair. She seemed put upon….why she seemed put upon he didn't know. She wasn't the one who was fucked no matter what she did. He…well it was done with now….or getting there….she was done with whatever all of that had been.
"What act?" asked Mob as she exhaled. She blew a cloud. If she had been smoking for fun she would have blown a ring. She could do that without her powers. She'd have to teach Sho, when he got older, and Mukai too…when she got older….if she even wanted to know Mob. She had missed out on so much of her life. For two years she'd been gone…well a year and a half. For a year and a half all Mukai had been to her was a sock stuffed into her pillow case….and now she was a whole kid…a whole kid that everyone had kept from Mob…
Mob needed another cigarette. She had one in her hand but she really felt like she needed another.
"That act. The one that you've been putting up for years. This…this….this 'I'm so sweet and innocent and perfect' act. I'm tired of it. Your father, at least, is himself. Since you're so hell bent on following in his footsteps then why don't you just do whatever terrible thing you're planning on doing to me and then go about your business?" asked Fukuda. He was tired. Fine. If he couldn't throw himself at Suzuki's mercy then he would throw himself on Shigeko's. He just…he was tired. He was so tired and….not just from putting Sho to sleep…
He was just tired.
"Horrible….thing? What? Why would I do a horrible thing to you?" asked Mob. Was that what he thought about her? Well…it would have made sense. He already thought horrible things about her on his own. He thought that she…he thought that she did stuff with Shimazaki and stuff….and he thought that….well this was just one more terrible thing that he thought about her that could be added to the very long list of terrible things that he thought about her.
"Why the hell are you ever here, then, if you're not planning anything? What is even the point?" asked Fukuda with a sigh.
"I'm here to see Sho, I told you so. That's the first thing I said to you. The first words that I said when you answered the door. I should have said something nicer but….but I don't want to say nice things to you right now…or ever…well not for a while. You're mean to me…I don't like that." Said Mob
"When have I ever been mean to you…I have shown you nothing but respect, Miss Suzuki." Said Fukuda. He had so many mean things he could say to her…and do to her. He could walk over and slap that cigarette out of her hand. He could tell her father exactly what she got up to when he wasn't looking. Hell, he could tell her father exactly what she was planning…what he was sure that she was planning. Nothing less than a takeover of Claw…and Suzuki…he would never have stood for that….
Oh, who was he kidding? Suzuki would probably have sat her behind his desk and told her to have at it.
Suzuki…had a soft spot for her. His entire head was a soft spot when it came to her. Maybe he would willingly give up his power to her. Maybe she was the one that he should have been afraid of. Maybe he was afraid of her. Maybe he just…he didn't even know anymore. When she was around it felt like the entire world was as upended as this room.
"There. You call me Miss Suzuki. I can't even remember how many times I asked you to stop doing that." Said Mob
"You literally just told me to." Said Fukuda. What was this? Suzuki…he never played mind games with you. He was an asshole, he beat you up, he threw you in a hole to die, but he never played mind games with you. Not like this.
"I-I-I don't know, ok?! I don't know what you….you should call me! You're…I don't like you! I don't like you anymore! You're mean to me! It's like…like one day you got up and you decided that you didn't like me anymore…and I don't know why! Just…tell me what I did to make you hate me so I can stop doing it and then we can all be friends again! I don't like you but I'd rather be your friend than…whatever we are now." Said Mob. More mean words…this was just like…the way her stomach hurt, the way everything upset her, the way she just wanted this all to end. Talking to Fukuda felt just like…only worse…much worse somehow.
"I don't hate you. I have told you time and time again that I do not and have not ever hated you." Said Fukuda. Her aura was flaring and her voice was raised….and he was tired of this. He couldn't remember how many times he had told her, to her face, that he did not hate her. He didn't know if she honestly felt that way or she was trying to mess with him…either way she needed to get it through her head that she needed to just…drop this 'he hated her' thing!
"Well then…then why don't you like me anymore? I never did anything to you…anything to make you not like me…and anything to make you take Sho away…and…and to make him lie to me. I know my little brother and I know that he would never lie to me on his own. He loves me and I love him….he lied to me…but he still loves me…" said Mob. Sho lied to her. Sho lied to her and…and she loved him and he loved her. Fukuda…must have told him to lie…or he came up with it himself but…but he was her little brother and she would always love her little brother no matter what.
"He does what you say." Said Fukuda. Sho…he chased her approval like he chased Suzuki's. He chased her approval and he didn't need to. Her approval made him just as miserable as Suzuki's did. Sho….if this had been a perfect world then Sho would have been with Masami…and she would gave approved of him no matter what.
"That too…because he loves me…but I would still love him if he didn't listen to me. He lied to me…and ran away from me…but I still love him…I don't love you anymore…that was mean but that's how I feel…but I still love him." said Mob. She had never said that before, that she didn't love someone, and….and it almost felt like she told Fukuda that she hated him…but she didn't hate Fukuda. She just…didn't love him anymore.
"Well you can feel however you want to about me. I have no right to tell you how to feel." Said Fukuda. He had no right to tell her anything. He had no right to tell her to get that cigarette out of her mouth. He had no right to tell her that she needed to start acting like a kid. He had no right to tell her anything. He…had no right to…anything. It hurt…part of him…it did when she said that she didn't love him. She had been small when she said it 'I love you, Fukuda' but it hadn't come out so clear. She had been small and…and he had loved her then…and maybe he still loved…
But she didn't want his love….and he had no right to tell her…anything…so there.
"No…you don't. You don't get to tell me how to feel and…and you don't get to make me feel this way." said Mob. She hated this, the way she felt, and…and she didn't have to feel this way. She didn't have to feel like her organs were trying to escape from her body. She didn't have to feel like she wanted Fukuda to drink a tall glass of chunky sour milk with the craziest straw they made. She didn't have to…to feel all the terrible things that she felt right now…
It was her birthday…a little past…and if not for Fukuda then she wouldn't have been feeling this way….
"What 'way' do I make you feel, Miss Suzuki?" asked Fukuda. He wanted one of those cigarettes. It was never going to end with her. There was no end in sight…no end aside from his death or suffering…so he might as well…so he might as well have a cigarette or two while he waited for the hammer to come down.
"You make me feel like…talking to you is like…." Said Mob. She just…she didn't have words. Bad. That was how he made her feel. Bad and sad and….and just….like her organs were trying to crawl out of her body…and her head was going to explode and…and she just….she didn't want to feel this way! And she didn't have to feel this way…but she still felt this way!
Fukuda made her feel this way.
"Like what?" asked Fukuda. He didn't 'make' her feel anyway! She just…she….she was just…like this!
"Talking to you is like having a period. Excuse me." Said Mob. That…had not been the thing to say. That should have stayed in her head…but she had said it. It had been both rude and gross…and also embarrassing. Extra embarrassing. The most embarrassing. That had been the grossest, most embarrassing, and also meanest thing that she had ever said…
She shouldn't have drank so much.
She got up and went in the direction of Sho's aura. She knew that waking him up was wrong…but she didn't want to spend any more time with Fukuda than she had already. Especially after she had said that. She shouldn't have drank so much….and also she shouldn't have tossed her cigarette filter on the ground…or grabbed another one from her bag….or lit it. Especially since she was in Sho's room now sitting on the edge of the bed watching him sleep….covered in a green aura…
Fukuda had put him to sleep.
That…that person! That person who was a-a-a….he was…that thing that Minegishi had called him on the one plane ride when he made fun of their chest! He was that and also what Sho called people who he didn't like! And what Hatori shouted at people in games! And….and he just…he was a jerk! He had put her little brother to sleep! Well…no! He did not get to do that. Mob held out her hand and let her aura out…she wondered if this would work with someone other than Serizawa…it should work…since this was just more extas energy…energy that she sucked up….there….that hadn't been so hard. That was something that she had to do and she did it and…
And she hadn't accounted for Sho waking up when she was all done.