Shimazaki was never letting Toshi out of his sight again.
An explosion. That was what he had felt form the plane. An explosion of psychic powers. Mob's powers, if the feeling that hung in the air was to be believed. That feeling of…her. Like being right next to her even though she was far away. Getting off the plane…getting close to this…had been like getting closer to her….closer and closer and closer….until she was right there. He knew that she was right beside him, he could feel her and hear her and smell her too, but right now…right now all he could think about was Toshi. Right now all that he could see was Toshi.
Really.
His perceptions had been fucky since the plane. He had accidentally teleported almost into a wall…and then a person. He hadn't done that since he'd figured out that he could teleport. Right now he needed to figure this place out. He needed to get himself back in order and just…figure out where he was. He could hear people and smell people and sometimes they even got near enough that he could feel them…but his brain wasn't filtering things out anymore. Things being the VERY loud auras around him. There was Mob, not only laid out beside him but also completely surrounding him too, and the President who was by her side and so fucking loud….and draining. Being near him felt like being on….he didn't even know what. Not like being stoned, no, he got lethargic as fuck when he was stoned but this was worse. Kind of like heroin maybe? Injecting it, not snorting it, and it was a different sort of high when you….well he'd ask Toshi….no, Toshi never fucked around with needle stuff….well he hadn't done that since he'd been young and stupid….and he was still stupid…
If Toshi had been awake then they would have told him that he was stupid.
It was hard to see past them, he was too focused on them. He held their hand in his and focused on them. On their aura and their body. They weren't dead. He could still hear their aura and he could hear them breathing and he could feel their heart beating. They weren't dead just…sleeping. They smelled like blood. It was coming from the thing on their head. If he focused hard enough he could see….they were concussed…and you weren't supposed to let a concussed person sleep….and where in the hell was Fukuda in all of this?!
He didn't know. He didn't want to look. He didn't want to leave Toshi.
"Shigeko….please. Wake up. Just…open your eyes already. I know that you can." Said Suzuki. He was whispering like he was trying to keep it a secret that he loved his daughter. Shimazaki was too tired to tell him that the cat was out of the bag and everyone knew that Suzuki loved Mob and he probably would have married her if he could. No point in hiding it. He didn't feel like pissing off the boss, though, not after the fact that he'd almost killed everyone. Yeah…no…this was not the time to fuck with Suzuki…well there was no good time to fuck with Suzuki…and if he had suggested fucking with Suzuki then Toshi would have slapped him over the head and told him that he was completely ridiculous…
Please, Toshi, wake up.
He held their hand tighter and….felt something. There, near to him, was another aura…but that was normal. This was the Seventh Division, it was one of the bigger ones. This was where Awakened were made and trained. It took a lot of espers to get that shit done…Scars. It took a lot of Scars to get that shit done…and that was a Scar, wasn't it. He didn't come here often but…there. Near to Toshi…very near…he could feel an aura that he knew didn't belong to an Awakened. All of their auras sounded like Suzuki, like they were all trying to imitate him and doing a damn good job of it. The aura across from him was more like a….microwave? Like a loud microwave…that sort of 'whoosh' sound then they…but only when you made popcorn. Like how the really fancy ones made popcorn…there was a whole thing to it. For shits and giggles once he and Toshi binge watched this YouTube thing about a guy who as REALLY into microwaves….did they ever finish that? Maybe when Toshi woke up they'd want to finish that guy's series…and see if he made a new episode. Just the two of them…and maybe Mob too…smoking and watching the microwave guy….that would have been pretty fucking great….
Better than this.
He heard an actual sound now, not a metaphysical one. The clinking of metal and….and that person was…he could see better now that he was focused. That other person was sitting down and…they had on this ridiculous belt and it was hitting the stupid metal folding chair and….and they….and they were a day. Well he was going to go with they for now…he could get a good enough look at them to tell a few things and he wasn't about to be that kind of asshole…but he was about to be an asshole. He had every right to be an asshole. That person….was….that person had the nerve to think that they had the right to…to….
To HOLD Toshi's HAND!?
He teleported behind them and tipped them back. They hit the ground….good. He teleported back to his chair…near to his chair. Near enough that he managed to displace it…it skittered across the ground away from him. Well that had been pretty fucking embarrassing…..he hadn't displaced anything since he'd been a kid….he was still fucked up from the plane ride and the shock of finding Toshi's passed out body and also the three bars he took just before coming here. Really President Suzuki didn't have to scream with his aura like that.
Or send him to the ground.
A flick of his wrist and Shimazaki was on the ground. A crowd was gathering, he could feel it. There was…his barrier had gone down too. There was definitely a bump forming on his head…maybe he and Toshi could be twins. That was a bump and…he got up….and was shoved back down again. Suzuki didn't even move that time, he just used his powers to shove Shimazaki back down to the ground. Most espers, most telekinetic espers, needed to move at least a little bit….Suzuki could be kind of scary when he wanted to be….sort of like Mob…if she had been an asshole….
But she wasn't, this had been an accident.
Suzuki sent him onto his side, now. Getting hit with psychic powers was so close, so remarkably close, to being kicked in the side…and he….he tried to get up again….but he couldn't. He just…he was small. He was small and…and he felt around the ground. His perceptions had gone all fucky again and….and he had no choice but to just lay there and take it. He had killed men for less but…Suzuki wasn't just a man. He was Mob level powerful….and it was amazing that Mob came from this asshole. Mob was the nicest person that he'd ever met and she came from the biggest asshole in the world. If she had been awake then she would have saved him….and if someone had to save him then it would have been Mob…either her or Toshi…
It was Toshi.
"Suzuki….fuck's sake…..knock it off…." Said Toshi. Suzuki did, actually, he listened to Toshi and went right back to Mob. Shimazaki pulled himself to his knees. Suzuki…may have been an asshole…but he was an asshole who wanted to fuck Toshi…which he was not ok with….but he did listen to them. That was…Shimazaki could handle his own shit…but right now he had to take care of Toshi. They were talking and….he focused everything he had on them. They were sitting up….trying to….that other person reached out to them but they slapped that other person's stupid hand away.
"….'m fine….Matsuo…..'m fine…." Said Toshi as they slapped…his…hand away. Matsuo. That guy who was always bothering Toshi at all hours of the day and night. That…Toshi could fuck whoever they wanted to but….that was it. This guy needed to get a clue already. Toshi didn't need him to sit there at the side of their bed like this was that fucking English Patient movie or something….he was there because Toshi wanted to fuck him and right now Toshi wasn't in the mood to fuck anyone so…so he could just get the fuck out of here!
And he could stop trying to be helpful too!
"Here, let me help you. You look pretty bad." Said Matsuo as he held out his hand. Shimazaki slapped it away and got himself to his feet.
"I have no idea what I look like." Said Shimazaki as he climbed to his feet.
"Oh! I-I didn't mean it like-" said Matsuo
"….e's fuckin' wit' you…'e does' 'at…." Said Toshi. They were trying to sit up….and climb out of bed. It wasn't even a bed! This was a cot! That was the best that Suzuki and these Seventh Division idiots could spring for?! A cot on a loading dock in a building that Suzuki was holding up with his own powers?! Fuck this shit! He was getting Toshi out of here to a real hospital or something….and soon as he could find one….
"Toshiki, don't try and get up." Said Matsuo as he went back to Toshi's side. Shimazaki grabbed the side of the bed and pulled himself up. He shoved Matsuo away with his free hand. Toshi….Toshi didn't need him. Toshi didn't love him. Toshi….Shimazaki was there now. He was there for Toshi and he was always going to be there for them.
He loved them, they were his partner, and the love of his life too.
"Leave them alone. Toshi, I'm here. Come on, let's get you somewhere else. I can-" said Shimazaki. He reached down to scoop Toshi up in his arms….they were small enough and light enough that he didn't even need his powers…how had he never noticed this? How small they were….and how fragile they were. They were…they were so small and…
And they were strong, too.
"Ryou….stop it. 'M fine." Said Toshi as they shoved him away. They…did that sometimes….but never with their full strength like that….
"Toshi…you're really fucked up. Come on, let me get you out of here." Said Shimazaki. Toshi smelled like blood, they were in a pretty bad mood right now. That was all. Mob had exploded and taken a chunk out of the building. That was enough to shake anyone, and Toshi wasn't just anyone, they loved Mob like she was their own kid…so of course they were in a bad mood. Shimazaki could understand that.
"Toshiki's really hurt right now…and anyway they just said that they'd be moving all of us and-" said Matsuo
"Fuck off. Toshi doesn't need you right now so go and do…whatever it is that Scars do." Said Shimazaki with a shove. A hard one. He didn't need to shove so hard…but he kind of did. If this guy wasn't going to get a clue then Shimazaki was going to shove one into him. He reached back to shove him again…but he stopped. Something was tugging on his shirt. Toshi was tugging on his shirt…they were right in front of him but he had lost sight of them…never again. He focused as much of himself as he could on them…
And then wished that he hadn't.
"Ryou…you…why….you so….needy?" said Toshi. Shimazaki…he took a step back. That…he had been called needy before…Toshi was never afraid to tell him how he felt….but this…this felt…different. He just…he needed them and they needed him…right? But this guy was there now and he was holding Toshi's hand…he was holding their hand and they weren't pushing him away and…and….
Something inside of him hurt….and something outside of him too but not as badly.
"Shimazaki, stop whatever this is and make yourself useful. Get out there and find Fukuda…and my son as well I suppose." Said Suzuki as he once again slammed his powers right into Shimazaki…and he had no choice but to take it. Suzuki wasn't in a good mood…and he'd lost control…and now he was close to it again. Shimazaki could hear it in his aura. He…he wanted to kick Suzuki's ass! He wanted to pick that mother fucking daughter fucker, future daughter fucker if he stayed the course, and drop him from the stratosphere…and a few other people too….but he couldn't…
He was powerless….and he hated it…and he hated Suzuki…and he hated Matsuo…and he hated the world right now….he hated it so much that he had to get away. Before he pissed Toshi off even more….and before Mob woke up too….
"Sure thing….boss." said Shimazaki as he teleported away. He had no desire to look for Fukuda, in fact he prayed that Fukuda was buried so deep in the rubble that if he was still alive under there then he had a slow death to look forward to because these Awakened were more interested in climbing on the rubble than digging people out. Shimazaki…he kind of…really….missed Sho. Needed him.
He was so needy sometimes wasn't he?
Toshi…they'd said that before…and he knew that they sometimes felt like that but…but he did need them. They were his…well not his, they didn't belong to him, but they were…together. The two of them and…and he had his own shit going on. He had his own shit to sort out and…and he was being a selfish asshole right now. Toshi was all broken and bleeding and he was only thinking about himself….he was the worst person in the world sometimes…well when it came to this. Suzuki killed people for looking at him weird and wanted to fuck Mob…not that he blamed him, Mob was a really great person and she was probably really pretty too, but that was his actual kid so….no. Yeah, Suzuki was a worse person than him because of the murders and the daughter fucking….also he was terrible to Sho! Sho was one of the best kids in the world and Suzuki had made him so he should have known how awesome his son was but he was too stupid so….yeah!
There were worse people in the world than him…so…well it should have made him feel better but it didn't.
Shimazaki…he was so…Toshi didn't need him. Toshi didn't need him but he needed them. He was needy and…and he was a….Toshi probably thought that he….the word mistake was trying to take root in his mind. Mistake…that had been his name for so long…but that wasn't his name. His name was Shimazaki Ryou and Toshi…loved him. Toshi was someone who loved him and didn't think that he was a mistake and loving him wasn't a mistake…and they hadn't replaced him…they just wanted to fuck somebody else….and let him hold their hand and…and they could fuck who they wanted to and…and they could love…they could...they were Minegishi Toshiki and they could do whatever they wanted….
He was Shimazaki Ryou and he could do whatever he wanted…and right now he wanted to look for Sho.
He teleported to the next loudest aura…and displaced Serizawa. He went to the ground….Shimazaki broke his fall. God…how could one person be so heavy? He wasn't built…but he was heavy….and at least he was takin showers every few days now. Tall though…that was nice….he and Mob had that in common. She got it, how nice it was when the guy was taller than you….but Shimazaki wasn't in the mood to enjoy this now. He wasn't in the mood for anything.
Someone picked him up.
"Can't you just leave him alone?!" asked Shibata. Too big. There was something to be said about being with someone who was bigger than him but Shibata was way too big…and too strong…and too pissed off. He lifted Shimazaki by the arm with one hand. Shimazaki teleported out of his grip before he would up with a dislocated shoulder.
"I-I'm fine. I'm sure that it was an accident…are you alright, Shimazaki? Are you hurt? You seem…sad." Said Serizawa. It was hard to see him, now, to sense him. Shimazaki knew that someone was in front of him…someone who was talking to him…but his perceptions were a little fucky. He wanted to reach forward and touch him…just to know exactly where he was….but he didn't. He reached out to the side, though, there was something that felt like a tree….oh.
That was Shibata. He was as big as a tree.
"I'm fine….Toshi's just hurt. That's all. They'll be fine, they're Toshi…they've had worse." Said Shimazaki. He shrugged and tried to sound like he didn't need to reach out and feel the world…with his hands. His powers…the world was quieter now….and he put his hands in his pockets. He had his cane collapsed somewhere in this coat…he hated needing the cane. He liked hitting people with it but…but he hated needing it….he hadn't needed it since he'd been little….
He was so fucking needy sometimes.
"He's fine. Shimazaki….go and…stay with Minegishi or something. I have my hands full with him as it is." Said Shibata
"I-I'm fine…I mean there are a lot of people here but I feel fine…Miss Suzuki is just sleeping and…and it feels like she's right next to me…and my umbrella helps…so really I'm fine." Said Serizawa. He was clinging to that umbrella like he was drowning man in the ocean. His aura…Shimazaki could sort of hear it again…it was calling out sort of…like he was trying to reach out to her….and somehow Serizawa was less weird with Mob than Suzuki was…and he was REALLY weird when it came to Mob.
"Well I'm still not in the mood to deal with him." said Shibata
"You don't need to 'deal' with me. I'm busy anyway. I have to find Sho…and Fukuda…but fuck him…and fuck you too! I don't need you, I'm not needy!" said Shimazaki as he got his sense of time and space back. He didn't wait to hear whatever it was that Shibata had to say, he just teleported. He felt an aura…a strong one…farther away. That was either Sho, an esper that sounded like him, or Shimazaki's powers were just being fuckier than they had ever been in his life. He didn't care. He just…he hated to get out of there…
He didn't need anyone, he was not needy.
Other people needed him…like Sho. Shimazaki felt the world come back into existence around him…it smelled nice out here. Like trees and…dirt. Toshi smelled like dirt but…Toshi wasn't here. He could feel Sho…he was there…he could hear Sho's aura…and he could hear him sniffling too. Sniffling like he was either sick or crying….and his aura sounded just as hurt…until it didn't sound like anything at all. It was like someone had taken the needle off a record…his aura went quiet…
And the world disappeared.
"Sho?! Are you around!?" asked Shimazaki. He took a step forward…and stumbled. There had been a rock or something….he rooted around his coat. He could still hear Sho sniffling….Sho needed him. He felt around until he found his cane. He uncollapsed it and started walking. There was…some kind of…structure…here. It felt like wood when he hit it….and…metal? He felt the sun go away…and he heard something metal…he reached out and touched it. Sharp corners and….a handle? Oh, a file cabinet…in the woods? Who the hell put a file cabinet in the woods?
Crazy old Suzuki, obviously.
Shimazaki took another step and…this was a rug. A wet rug…not moss. This was a rug and…he took another step. He banged his cane again…something plastic? He reached down…a table…with a TV on it. There was a TV in the middle of the woods…one of the old ones…knobs and not buttons…and an antenna. Older than even his TV had been….and on top of that…well he knew what that was. That was a radio….he wondered if it worked…it probably didn't. He had no idea…well he knew that he wanted to hear some music…something to just…drown out his thoughts….but Sho's crying should have been enough to drown out his thoughts….
He followed the crying.
He followed the crying until…that was music. He crouched down and he could hear something tinny…ok, what, did one of them need to be blind and the other one needed to be deaf? What, was he supposed to be put Sho on his shoulders and then Sho was the eyes and he was the ears and they stacked like Go Bots or something?
Shimazaki didn't think that his back could handle that.
He pulled Sho's earbud out. He had no idea who that mother fucker was, or why he needed to die, but he knew that he didn't need Sho going deaf….or listening to something as…unpoetic…as that. Die mother fucker die mother fucker die…..at some point people had forgotten how to make music. When all of this was over he was sitting Sho down and teaching him about music…there. He wasn't needy. Others needed him.
Like the person clinging to him right now.
"Ryou! Ryou….Ryou…." said Sho as he buried his face in Shimazaki's stomach. Something hit the ground, Sho's phone, and Shimazaki's cane followed it. He held Sho close. Shimazaki knew that shit was real when Sho called him by his given name…and of course shit was real. People were hurt, dead, and there was a hole in the side of the Seventh Division. Of course Sho was freaked out….of course Sho needed him…
He wasn't needy, he was needed, and he couldn't be needy if he was needed.
"Sho…hey, calm down. I'm here. I'm here for you, kid." Said Shimazaki as he rubbed Sho's back like mom had done for him when he'd been upset. Poor kid…he'd been through a lot…and ok, he was kind of pissed about Sho running around and causing….all of this….but really Sho just wanted to see his bastard half-sister and Shimazaki couldn't fault him for that….he couldn't fault Sho for anything.
He loved Sho like his own kid…and he could never be an asshole to his own kid.
"Ryou…I did something bad….I did so many bad things! I just…I suck….I'm a bad brother and a bad boyfriend and a bad person and big sis banished Fukuda because of me and I cheated on my girlfriend because I have cheater genes in me and dad cheated on mom and I cheated on Emmy and…and dad stuck his dick in someone and that's the worst thing that you can do but I won't do that because Ritsu is a guy and I love him and-" said Sho. Shimazaki put his hand over Sho's mouth. That had been…quite the word salad…but like a real salad Shimazaki decided to pick out the most important part.
Finally.
He had been waiting for years now for Sho to say that to him. Not the shit about Suzuki cheating on the mysterious Missus Suzuki. No, he didn't care about that…and he didn't want to think about whatever lukewarm sex Suzuki had with his wife or whoever had mothered his bastard daughter…that wasn't important. No, all that other shit was important. Sho had met someone, fallen in love, and cheated on his little girlfriend….cheating was kind of a dick move but….finally! This crush was over! Toshi would be so happy-
Toshi was pissed at him….but he….didn't want to think about that now.
"Sho, I'm going to uncover your mouth and then when I do I want you to tell me, calmly, about this cheating thing." Said Shimazaki. He could deal with this. He could teach Sho how to break up with his girlfriend. He could teach him how to get with this other kid he liked, too. He could teach him how to sneak around, better, while he was at it. The trick to sneaking around was to NOT let people who worked for your dad didn't know where you were.
Sho needed him…not the other way around. He was needed, not needy.
"I-I-I….I kissed someone else and I liked it and it was the best thing ever and…and I'm not any better than dad! I'm worse than dad….no…he's worse than me because at least me and Ritsu couldn't do that if we wanted to…and that's gross and…and then….and I just….I did so many bad things! I cheated and I lied and big sis…she was so mad at me that she…she did all that and….and she banished Fukuda and….and I just…I just….just….just…." said Sho. Ok. Clearly Sho was not going to be able to be calm anytime soon…but Shimazaki could deal with this….even though he couldn't stand sad people. They were so fucking boring…and annoying…but he could be there for Sho.
He loved him like his own kid.
He could see him again…sort of. If he focused hard enough he could see the tears leaving Sho's eyes. He wiped Sho's eyes with the hem of his shirt…and judging by that aural giggle Sho wasn't over that crush yet…but he was getting there. Shimazaki ignored that aural giggle and got back to wiping Sho's eyes….he hadn't intended for his shirt to be a snot rag but Sho had other ideas….but that was ok. He took his shirt back and grimaced as it stuck to his stomach….
The not so fun part of having a kid…
"Thanks kid." Said Shimazaki as he tried his best to get the snot off of his shirt. This was the part about having kids that Toshi didn't like…not that he would bring that up again with them….they didn't like that. He loved them and…and if he kept on…he didn't know what he had done but….but maybe bring up…all of that…had been…had been what drove them to Matsuo of all people…he had driven them to another guy and…and he never…he didn't care who they….
He had lost his lighter at some point…damn it…he'd smoke later…or he'd see if the thing about rubbing two sticks together worked….
"Sorry." said Sho. He wiped his nose with his sleeve that time. His coat sleeve….Shimazaki's coat sleeve…but that coat was Sho's now. He didn't need it anymore. He was the adult here and…and he had to act like it. Sho was the kid, that was why he still fit into Shimazaki's kid coat. Shimazaki was the man here and…and he loved Sho like his kid…and this was the part of having a kid that wasn't fun…not just the snot but the part that…well the part where you had to put the kid first and himself second…that was responsible….
He had to be the responsible one here.
"It's cool. So…you did something terrible and now you feel like shit, Right?" asked Shimazaki. He patted Sho on the head….he hated guilt…and he almost never felt it. He had given up on that years ago…he'd teach Sho about that, maybe, maybe later…he was just…tired. The sun had been high in the sky…it was early….but it had been a long day and he just…he needed to sleep…or just…rest…maybe.
"Yeah…" said Sho. He wiped his nose again. Poor kid. He had a lot going on…though he had said something about Fukuda being banished…and if Shimazaki had been in his place then he would have been dancing…but he wasn't Sho. Sho loved that guy for some reason…so the banishment party would have to happen when Sho was asleep.
"And you built this….fort…to live out the rest of your days as a woods hermit?" asked Sho
"Dad and Fukuda built it before I was born….I don't know….I don't want to live here. I just…I got sad and mad….so I tried to be less mad…and sad…." Said Sho with a sniffle
"Well this crap isn't going to help." Said Shimazaki as he bent down and picked up Sho's phone. It was still playing what sounded like metal…ick. Not even good metal…well this wouldn't do. This wouldn't do at all. He could help with this. He would always be there to help Sho…especially when it came to something as important as music.
"That's my mad mix…I read in a book that music can help when you're mad…and I'm mad….I mean I was….but you're here. I…I always feel better when you're here….Ryou." said Sho. Shimazaki could see better now…and he could see how much blood was pooling in Sho's face. He was blushing and…ok…the crush wasn't over yet…but he was getting there. That was what mattered.
"Well, yeah, we're best friends…that's what I'm here for. So…you want to talk about it without freaking out?" asked Shimazaki
"No…I just….I don't want to talk about it…you might not like me….I don't like me right now….I fucked up." Said Sho
"You and me both, kid, you and me both…now come here. Let me show you what a real mad mix is." Said Shimazaki. He was there for Sho, Sho needed him, and he would be there for Sho no matter what…but right now…well he didn't feel like getting too into it right now. Not into that word salad that Sho had just dumped into his lap. He sat down on the ground, apparently leaving a rug in the woods was a good idea, and motioned for Sho to sit next to him. Shimazaki…needed his mad mix….well his 'I feel like shit right now' mix….and Sho felt like he needed it too. His aura was pissed off...and…yeah. This day….was a lot….and it was going to be even more of a lot based on the movements he could feel off in the distance….he wanted to go there, to be at Toshi's side, but Toshi…didn't want him…not right now….
He wanted to be near Toshi, they were out of his sight, and…and he hated leaving them out of his sight…but Sho needed him now. Sho needed him and….and he liked being needed…and he was not needy…..he couldn't be needy if he was being needed it.
So there.