Chapter 16 - End of a Journey
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As the different pieces of the puzzle slowly came together again, they started forming a picture, no more than a shadowy image. It was not a good kind of picture.
This time he would not wait for the numb feeling inside him to fade. This time he would not wait for another wave of pain to take control. He would not go through the same thing over and over again. Pain and repression, hope and hopelessness. Memories and nightmares.
He wanted Haruka to tell him the truth. That was all he wanted.
He pulled the sheet back over Usagi's body, but not over her face, that was something he had never liked. One last time he looked at her closed eyelids, drowning in her angelic features. He bent over her, but he wasn't able to touch her lips with his. "No," he said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."
Haruka wasn't home, so he left a message for her, asking her to meet him at the hill where they had carried out their battle. He would be there Saturday night, that left her more than a day to get the message. Sometime during that time she would probably be home.
Saturday morning was cold and sunny. He had slept, trying to find out more from the dream, but his sleep had been dreamless. It didn't matter, he still could recall it as clearly, as if it was no dream at all, but a memory.
In the afternoon, he left his apartment, trying to make his way to the place, where he had fought Haruka. Since they had reached it from the underground last time, it wasn't easy to find, but by nightfall he was there. He stopped the car at the side of the street and looked down the hill. There was no sign of Haruka.
What if his dream wasn't a dream at all? What if it truly was a memory, just like that other one he had about Usagi? He always had thought of dreams as kind of messages about the future, what if it wasn't a message at all? He had tried to interpret it in many different ways, what if he had to take it the way it was?
No hidden message. Just a memory of things how they really happened.
The cars thundered by, their lights cutting through the darkness. The darkness in his dream had felt like a living being. Rising up inside him, blinding his eyes and taking away his personality. He had tried to fight it, but to no effect.
The dreams didn't come when he was sleeping in his bed. They came to him in the car. Always in the car. Very few exceptions.
The first time the darkness came, had been in the car. And it hadn't been the dream he had, while waiting at Tanaka's place. It was much earlier.
He was driving home from Saori's apartment, Saturday night, when the world had faded. He couldn't remember if he had reached home safely. He couldn't remember anything at all. The darkness had been there. It had attacked him in the car, so subtle, that he didn't even notice. And when it left, he had been in the cave. It had left him only for a very short while. Not because, he had successfully driven it away. Simply because it wanted to.
The phone rang. Good! Haruka would certainly know more.
"Mamoru-san," Rei's voice sounded very relieved, "thank God, you're alright! Where are you? We were so worried."
"I'm fine, there's really no reason to worry. How's Ami?"
"Everything's alright with her, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"
"No, not now!" It was well possible, Ami could figure out, where he was, if he talked too long. He didn't want to take the risk.
"Rei-san, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," he began softly. "All the time I've been mad at you, and the others, because you lied to me. I even believed you could be responsible for Usagi's death..."
"Why are you telling me this now?" Rei asked with rising panic in her voice.
"Because it was very wrong of me to think such things." He took a deep breath. "I should've known better. All you ever did, was keeping your promise to her. I've said a lot of things to you, which I now regret. I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble. Farewell, Rei-chan, you're the best friend anyone could ever wish for."
"Mamoru, don't hang up, please" Rei cried, "It's not your fault! Please don't......"
He hung up the phone. He was glad, there had been a chance to apologize to Rei, but he didn't want to drag her further into this.
He still didn't believe, how he could have gotten such a wrong image of her. After all, he had known her for a very long time. And not just in this life.
He dialed Haruka's number. She was home this time, she hadn't gotten his message and was extremely surprised at his call. But she would come as soon as possible. It would take her about an hour if traffic wasn't too bad.
And she would tell him the truth. Now all he had to do was wait.
He walked down the hill, away from the street. The noise of the cars grew softer. Their light mingled with the light of the stars in the night sky. The moon was there, too, silvery, a slender sickle. A few days ago she had been gone. And to him she was gone for all times, and would never again rise in the night sky.
A noise made him turn around. A shadow. A girl.
She stood behind him, and her eyes seemed to keep the answers to all the secrets, he had been searching for. He had never noticed before, how strange those eyes were, dark and mysterious like the ocean. You could drown in them, if you looked too long.
"Haruka has never gotten your message," she said, "because I erased it." As she came closer, he could see, she was holding something in her hands. It was the rose, he had thrown earlier during the battle with Uranus, and even in the dark, he could see that its petals were black.
"At the end of a long journey," she said, "one always encounters oneself."
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As the different pieces of the puzzle slowly came together again, they started forming a picture, no more than a shadowy image. It was not a good kind of picture.
This time he would not wait for the numb feeling inside him to fade. This time he would not wait for another wave of pain to take control. He would not go through the same thing over and over again. Pain and repression, hope and hopelessness. Memories and nightmares.
He wanted Haruka to tell him the truth. That was all he wanted.
He pulled the sheet back over Usagi's body, but not over her face, that was something he had never liked. One last time he looked at her closed eyelids, drowning in her angelic features. He bent over her, but he wasn't able to touch her lips with his. "No," he said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."
Haruka wasn't home, so he left a message for her, asking her to meet him at the hill where they had carried out their battle. He would be there Saturday night, that left her more than a day to get the message. Sometime during that time she would probably be home.
Saturday morning was cold and sunny. He had slept, trying to find out more from the dream, but his sleep had been dreamless. It didn't matter, he still could recall it as clearly, as if it was no dream at all, but a memory.
In the afternoon, he left his apartment, trying to make his way to the place, where he had fought Haruka. Since they had reached it from the underground last time, it wasn't easy to find, but by nightfall he was there. He stopped the car at the side of the street and looked down the hill. There was no sign of Haruka.
What if his dream wasn't a dream at all? What if it truly was a memory, just like that other one he had about Usagi? He always had thought of dreams as kind of messages about the future, what if it wasn't a message at all? He had tried to interpret it in many different ways, what if he had to take it the way it was?
No hidden message. Just a memory of things how they really happened.
The cars thundered by, their lights cutting through the darkness. The darkness in his dream had felt like a living being. Rising up inside him, blinding his eyes and taking away his personality. He had tried to fight it, but to no effect.
The dreams didn't come when he was sleeping in his bed. They came to him in the car. Always in the car. Very few exceptions.
The first time the darkness came, had been in the car. And it hadn't been the dream he had, while waiting at Tanaka's place. It was much earlier.
He was driving home from Saori's apartment, Saturday night, when the world had faded. He couldn't remember if he had reached home safely. He couldn't remember anything at all. The darkness had been there. It had attacked him in the car, so subtle, that he didn't even notice. And when it left, he had been in the cave. It had left him only for a very short while. Not because, he had successfully driven it away. Simply because it wanted to.
The phone rang. Good! Haruka would certainly know more.
"Mamoru-san," Rei's voice sounded very relieved, "thank God, you're alright! Where are you? We were so worried."
"I'm fine, there's really no reason to worry. How's Ami?"
"Everything's alright with her, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"
"No, not now!" It was well possible, Ami could figure out, where he was, if he talked too long. He didn't want to take the risk.
"Rei-san, there's something I've been wanting to tell you," he began softly. "All the time I've been mad at you, and the others, because you lied to me. I even believed you could be responsible for Usagi's death..."
"Why are you telling me this now?" Rei asked with rising panic in her voice.
"Because it was very wrong of me to think such things." He took a deep breath. "I should've known better. All you ever did, was keeping your promise to her. I've said a lot of things to you, which I now regret. I'm so sorry for causing you so much trouble. Farewell, Rei-chan, you're the best friend anyone could ever wish for."
"Mamoru, don't hang up, please" Rei cried, "It's not your fault! Please don't......"
He hung up the phone. He was glad, there had been a chance to apologize to Rei, but he didn't want to drag her further into this.
He still didn't believe, how he could have gotten such a wrong image of her. After all, he had known her for a very long time. And not just in this life.
He dialed Haruka's number. She was home this time, she hadn't gotten his message and was extremely surprised at his call. But she would come as soon as possible. It would take her about an hour if traffic wasn't too bad.
And she would tell him the truth. Now all he had to do was wait.
He walked down the hill, away from the street. The noise of the cars grew softer. Their light mingled with the light of the stars in the night sky. The moon was there, too, silvery, a slender sickle. A few days ago she had been gone. And to him she was gone for all times, and would never again rise in the night sky.
A noise made him turn around. A shadow. A girl.
She stood behind him, and her eyes seemed to keep the answers to all the secrets, he had been searching for. He had never noticed before, how strange those eyes were, dark and mysterious like the ocean. You could drown in them, if you looked too long.
"Haruka has never gotten your message," she said, "because I erased it." As she came closer, he could see, she was holding something in her hands. It was the rose, he had thrown earlier during the battle with Uranus, and even in the dark, he could see that its petals were black.
"At the end of a long journey," she said, "one always encounters oneself."