Chapter 17 - Mirror, Mirror
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"Why are you here, Michiru-san, or should I say Sailor Neptune? To tell me the truth?"
His eyes narrowed. "Or to give me another one of your pills? You would have been better of killing me, instead of writing that stupid letter!"
"I'm afraid, you don't understand. If I killed you, or Haruka did, what difference would it make to the Inner Senshi? They would still fight us. Rei and Haruka are extremely stubborn, both of them. None of them would give in. And the only person who could always prevent a war between the Sailor Senshi, is gone."
What she said, sounded so damn logical "So you figured, if I killed myself, the problem would be solved. Then Haruka wouldn't have to worry about killing me, and the Inners wouldn't have to worry about protecting me. Everybody could keep their damn vows, and everybody would be happy! You're as cold as a fish!"
Anger rose in her voice, as she shouted back: "Am I? If I could prevent a war by giving my life, I would surely do so! But I am a Sailor Senshi after all! Obviously it's expected to much of a simple boy to know there is something called honor!"
"Don't talk to me about honor! All these days I've scraped the truth together, bit by bit and piece by piece. And all of you knew what happened!"
He was furious. "The Inners made a promise to Usagi and it's hard enough to see things from their point of view. I don't see yours at all! Do you know how hard it was convincing Haruka, that I had no idea why she was after me? She may have her reasons for hating me, but I have the right to know why! And let me tell you one thing, if you knew the least about honor, you would've written your damn name under that damn letter!"
"I assumed, you knew..."
"So you did, didn't you? You assumed! All I knew, was that I woke up one Sunday morning, and the girl I love more than anything in this world, was dead. My memory was gone, and everybody kept lying to me. What would you do in my situation?"
That question apparently confused her. "You must admit, your story doesn't sound very convenient," she said, avoiding a direct answer. "You claim that someone took your memory, and therefore you don't remember what happened. That excuse is getting kind of worn out, don't you think?"
"You guys think, you're so smart, don't you? Did it ever appear to you, that there were battles, you weren't involved in, enemies you have never fought?"
"You know, why!" she shouted, for the first time she had lost her temper, too. "The Senshi of the Outer Circle don't awake, if there isn't a danger from outer space."
"That's not the point! All I'm saying is there are things, you don't know firsthand. You weren't there, when Metallia started the war between Earth and Moon, and you haven't been here when she returned, using Beryl and my former friends to restore the Dark Kingdom. Metallia and Beryl managed to take control over me, turning me against the Sailor Senshi."
She nodded. "Yes, I've heard of it!"
"You've heard of it, but you haven't been there, that's the difference! Otherwise you would understand, that no one took my memories away. I've never had any! I can't remember anything I did under Metallia's influence, because I haven't been myself at that time. I didn't even know, that I was under her influence this time, until I saw the black rose."
Thoughtfully she turned the rose between her fingers. "But you weren't under her influence anymore when you fought Haruka. Why is it still black then?"
"Honestly I don't know. It shouldn't be. But there are still many things I don't know."
"So you believe, you are not responsible for the things you do, when you're under Metallia's influence?"
"Again I don't know. But Haruka promised, she would tell me the truth. That's why I wanted to talk to her."
"So the Inner Senshi took a vow not to tell you," Thoughtfully she searched his eyes for any sign of a lie, but couldn't find any. "Rei said so too, according to her words it was Usagi's wish that you wouldn't be told. But we thought, all of this was an act to deceive us. When Haruka, Setsuna and I arrived, the battle was already over."
"The battle was over?" he asked disbelieving. "So how can you be so sure, what happened?"
She put the rose on the ground. Something appeared between her fingers, something round, shimmering like a full moon. It was the mirror, that had told her so many secrets before.
The mirror! Of course, this was how the Outers could figure it out. As Neptune ran a hand over it, a picture formed. He bent over the mirror, trying to look.
"The truth is more horrible, than anything you can imagine," she said, the words barely coming out of her mouth.
"Honestly, after all I've been through, this week, I can imagine a lot."
"It's nothing! All you've ever been through is nothing compared to this."
She stretched out her arms, handing him the mirror. Her hands were trembling so hard she almost dropped it. He could see the fear in her eyes. The ocean inside them had turned into a pool of whirling waters. He held her hands a moment longer than necessary, but his touch couldn't warm them. She was afraid, very afraid.
The images in the mirror were the ones from his nightmare. He recognized them at once, although they were from a different perspective. In his memories, of course, everything was from his own point of view. In here he didn't only see Usagi, but himself, too. He was Endymion, the prince of Earth.
They were in the cave, but it looked very different from the way he knew it. There were no broken rocks, and there was a strange light emerging from the pit. Tiny sparks were blown through the air, and he could hear something liquid flowing between the rocks. He even could feel the heat, or was his memory playing a trick on him?
Usagi stood a distance away, looking at him. She wore the dress of Princess Serenity, her gown flowing as she ran towards him..
He took a few careful steps towards her. She didn't rush into his arms, as one would have expected, but stopped before him to look at him, as if she feared he was an illusion. This time, he could understand clearly what she said: "Is that really you, Mamo-chan? At last I've found you!"
"Aishite, Usako!"he whispered.
She smiled at him. She stood on tiptoes to reach his mouth. Her face came closer, she turned it to get her nose out of the way.
The moment that had seemed so endlessly long in his dream, took no longer than an instant in reality. Maybe something deep inside him, was still fighting the darkness, but it was useless anyway.
Serenity was totally taken by surprise. She didn't even have time to scream, as Endymion's hand shot forward, gripping her throat. She tried to struggle, but she couldn't breathe, and her strength was fading. She was about to lose consciousness, when he flung her to the ground. There was an ugly crunching sound, as if bones were breaking, and she cried out in pain.
He bent over her, his hand reaching for her throat again, pulling her up. His face was so close to hers, as if he wanted to study every sign of agony in it. Metallia was taking her time, long enough had she waited for this moment.
It was then, Serenity's expression changed. The fear left her eyes, her features were no longer twisted. It was if she knew exactly what was going to happen, and that there was nothing she could do about it anymore.
Tenderly her gaze met his, there was no reproach in it, as she whispered: "It's not your fault, Mamo-chan, I know it's not your fault."
She bent her head, the only part of her body she could still move, as if she wanted to steal one last kiss from his lips before the light left her eyes. But somehow she wasn't able to.
"No," she said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."
She closed her eyes, as his hand squeezed her throat again, lifting her up, and pulling her towards the abyss. The Inner Senshi, with Mars in the lead came running through the tunnel, firing attacks down the pit, into the strange light.
As Metallia released her grip on Endymion, concentrating on them now, he fell to the ground, losing consciousness. The ground shook, parts of the ceiling came down on them. Rocks hit Serenity, strangely enough none of them hit Endymion, who lay right next to her. Mars rushed towards them, while the others tried to keep Metallia busy. But it seemed an incredibly long time, before she reached them. She knelt down next to Serenity and cradled her head in her lap. Serenity's eyelids fluttered, but she wasn't able to open them anymore. Her last words were no more than a mere whisper: "Protect him, Rei-chan ... he must never know!"
The picture froze. The images stopped so suddenly, that it seemed like someone had stopped time itself. A blast of magma emerging from the pit stood right in the air.
Then it came down again. Serenity's transformation faded away, now she was only Usagi, a young girl, whose heart had been filled with crazy dreams for the future. A future she would never have.
As the images in the mirror faded, he was unable to move or speak. The ghastly dread inside him paralyzed his entire body. He kept staring at his hands, as if he couldn't believe, what he had done with them. Metallia's dark powers were no excuse. It was his fault alone.
What had happened the first time he had been under Metallia's influence? The Senshi, including Usagi claimed that Sailor Moon's powers had freed him, before anything could happen. He had never really turned against her, the sole reason for her death had been the energy-drain from the Silver Crystal. But she had used its powers many other times, and survived. It didn't make any sense!
They hadn't told him the truth back then either. They had never told him, what really had happened.
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"Why are you here, Michiru-san, or should I say Sailor Neptune? To tell me the truth?"
His eyes narrowed. "Or to give me another one of your pills? You would have been better of killing me, instead of writing that stupid letter!"
"I'm afraid, you don't understand. If I killed you, or Haruka did, what difference would it make to the Inner Senshi? They would still fight us. Rei and Haruka are extremely stubborn, both of them. None of them would give in. And the only person who could always prevent a war between the Sailor Senshi, is gone."
What she said, sounded so damn logical "So you figured, if I killed myself, the problem would be solved. Then Haruka wouldn't have to worry about killing me, and the Inners wouldn't have to worry about protecting me. Everybody could keep their damn vows, and everybody would be happy! You're as cold as a fish!"
Anger rose in her voice, as she shouted back: "Am I? If I could prevent a war by giving my life, I would surely do so! But I am a Sailor Senshi after all! Obviously it's expected to much of a simple boy to know there is something called honor!"
"Don't talk to me about honor! All these days I've scraped the truth together, bit by bit and piece by piece. And all of you knew what happened!"
He was furious. "The Inners made a promise to Usagi and it's hard enough to see things from their point of view. I don't see yours at all! Do you know how hard it was convincing Haruka, that I had no idea why she was after me? She may have her reasons for hating me, but I have the right to know why! And let me tell you one thing, if you knew the least about honor, you would've written your damn name under that damn letter!"
"I assumed, you knew..."
"So you did, didn't you? You assumed! All I knew, was that I woke up one Sunday morning, and the girl I love more than anything in this world, was dead. My memory was gone, and everybody kept lying to me. What would you do in my situation?"
That question apparently confused her. "You must admit, your story doesn't sound very convenient," she said, avoiding a direct answer. "You claim that someone took your memory, and therefore you don't remember what happened. That excuse is getting kind of worn out, don't you think?"
"You guys think, you're so smart, don't you? Did it ever appear to you, that there were battles, you weren't involved in, enemies you have never fought?"
"You know, why!" she shouted, for the first time she had lost her temper, too. "The Senshi of the Outer Circle don't awake, if there isn't a danger from outer space."
"That's not the point! All I'm saying is there are things, you don't know firsthand. You weren't there, when Metallia started the war between Earth and Moon, and you haven't been here when she returned, using Beryl and my former friends to restore the Dark Kingdom. Metallia and Beryl managed to take control over me, turning me against the Sailor Senshi."
She nodded. "Yes, I've heard of it!"
"You've heard of it, but you haven't been there, that's the difference! Otherwise you would understand, that no one took my memories away. I've never had any! I can't remember anything I did under Metallia's influence, because I haven't been myself at that time. I didn't even know, that I was under her influence this time, until I saw the black rose."
Thoughtfully she turned the rose between her fingers. "But you weren't under her influence anymore when you fought Haruka. Why is it still black then?"
"Honestly I don't know. It shouldn't be. But there are still many things I don't know."
"So you believe, you are not responsible for the things you do, when you're under Metallia's influence?"
"Again I don't know. But Haruka promised, she would tell me the truth. That's why I wanted to talk to her."
"So the Inner Senshi took a vow not to tell you," Thoughtfully she searched his eyes for any sign of a lie, but couldn't find any. "Rei said so too, according to her words it was Usagi's wish that you wouldn't be told. But we thought, all of this was an act to deceive us. When Haruka, Setsuna and I arrived, the battle was already over."
"The battle was over?" he asked disbelieving. "So how can you be so sure, what happened?"
She put the rose on the ground. Something appeared between her fingers, something round, shimmering like a full moon. It was the mirror, that had told her so many secrets before.
The mirror! Of course, this was how the Outers could figure it out. As Neptune ran a hand over it, a picture formed. He bent over the mirror, trying to look.
"The truth is more horrible, than anything you can imagine," she said, the words barely coming out of her mouth.
"Honestly, after all I've been through, this week, I can imagine a lot."
"It's nothing! All you've ever been through is nothing compared to this."
She stretched out her arms, handing him the mirror. Her hands were trembling so hard she almost dropped it. He could see the fear in her eyes. The ocean inside them had turned into a pool of whirling waters. He held her hands a moment longer than necessary, but his touch couldn't warm them. She was afraid, very afraid.
The images in the mirror were the ones from his nightmare. He recognized them at once, although they were from a different perspective. In his memories, of course, everything was from his own point of view. In here he didn't only see Usagi, but himself, too. He was Endymion, the prince of Earth.
They were in the cave, but it looked very different from the way he knew it. There were no broken rocks, and there was a strange light emerging from the pit. Tiny sparks were blown through the air, and he could hear something liquid flowing between the rocks. He even could feel the heat, or was his memory playing a trick on him?
Usagi stood a distance away, looking at him. She wore the dress of Princess Serenity, her gown flowing as she ran towards him..
He took a few careful steps towards her. She didn't rush into his arms, as one would have expected, but stopped before him to look at him, as if she feared he was an illusion. This time, he could understand clearly what she said: "Is that really you, Mamo-chan? At last I've found you!"
"Aishite, Usako!"he whispered.
She smiled at him. She stood on tiptoes to reach his mouth. Her face came closer, she turned it to get her nose out of the way.
The moment that had seemed so endlessly long in his dream, took no longer than an instant in reality. Maybe something deep inside him, was still fighting the darkness, but it was useless anyway.
Serenity was totally taken by surprise. She didn't even have time to scream, as Endymion's hand shot forward, gripping her throat. She tried to struggle, but she couldn't breathe, and her strength was fading. She was about to lose consciousness, when he flung her to the ground. There was an ugly crunching sound, as if bones were breaking, and she cried out in pain.
He bent over her, his hand reaching for her throat again, pulling her up. His face was so close to hers, as if he wanted to study every sign of agony in it. Metallia was taking her time, long enough had she waited for this moment.
It was then, Serenity's expression changed. The fear left her eyes, her features were no longer twisted. It was if she knew exactly what was going to happen, and that there was nothing she could do about it anymore.
Tenderly her gaze met his, there was no reproach in it, as she whispered: "It's not your fault, Mamo-chan, I know it's not your fault."
She bent her head, the only part of her body she could still move, as if she wanted to steal one last kiss from his lips before the light left her eyes. But somehow she wasn't able to.
"No," she said softly, "no, I am not going to kiss you. Our last kiss was, when your eyes were still bright, speaking of the love you feel for me. I would not dishonor such a precious moment by touching these cold lips of yours. Forever I will keep your kiss inside my heart, and I take it with me to eternity."
She closed her eyes, as his hand squeezed her throat again, lifting her up, and pulling her towards the abyss. The Inner Senshi, with Mars in the lead came running through the tunnel, firing attacks down the pit, into the strange light.
As Metallia released her grip on Endymion, concentrating on them now, he fell to the ground, losing consciousness. The ground shook, parts of the ceiling came down on them. Rocks hit Serenity, strangely enough none of them hit Endymion, who lay right next to her. Mars rushed towards them, while the others tried to keep Metallia busy. But it seemed an incredibly long time, before she reached them. She knelt down next to Serenity and cradled her head in her lap. Serenity's eyelids fluttered, but she wasn't able to open them anymore. Her last words were no more than a mere whisper: "Protect him, Rei-chan ... he must never know!"
The picture froze. The images stopped so suddenly, that it seemed like someone had stopped time itself. A blast of magma emerging from the pit stood right in the air.
Then it came down again. Serenity's transformation faded away, now she was only Usagi, a young girl, whose heart had been filled with crazy dreams for the future. A future she would never have.
As the images in the mirror faded, he was unable to move or speak. The ghastly dread inside him paralyzed his entire body. He kept staring at his hands, as if he couldn't believe, what he had done with them. Metallia's dark powers were no excuse. It was his fault alone.
What had happened the first time he had been under Metallia's influence? The Senshi, including Usagi claimed that Sailor Moon's powers had freed him, before anything could happen. He had never really turned against her, the sole reason for her death had been the energy-drain from the Silver Crystal. But she had used its powers many other times, and survived. It didn't make any sense!
They hadn't told him the truth back then either. They had never told him, what really had happened.