(A/N): I know, I know, I know, could I have taken any longer? And the answer is, probably not. Anyway, thank you all for your loverly reviews. I will now commence with the personal thanks:
Faith Akiyama: Thanks!
Ana: niceness is hard... and I only understood about half of what you wrote, sorry. Thanks for the review though!
WriterChic05: Hey Crystal! lol, thanks, hows it going?
mmm alicia love: Very little fluff, thats for sure. And I agree, it does get nauseating after a while. Thank you for the compliment, and I am good, aren't I? lol.
WolfSpirt: It kind of is one big heartbreak, but than only about six or seven hours has passed in the entirety of the fic, so I don't know. Hermione thinks a lot. And like I said, only about six or seven hours have passed, she hasn't had a ton of time to do any confrontations, especially if Luna was in her common room most of the day...
Anna: Yey detail! I heart detail- I have issues. lol. yea. um, yea. thank you!
mysockisonfire: lol, yea, it took me WAY too long to figure out how to turn on anonymous reviews. And I plan on haveing more of Lunas background come out in the next chapter maybe, possibly the one after. It depends on who's talking to me at the minute... Luna talks the most. Harry likes to be a pain in the ass about that. Thanks and I hope I did well on my SATs too!
absolutleyfabulous: awkwardness, yes -strokes chin-
darkstalkerking:Thank you!
Harpy Prince: Very angsty indeed. As for the ship, I have no idea. The characters talk, and I type. For example, Harry and Ron in the next scene, I was like WTF? when I was done typing it all. Not what I expected in the slightest.
Miss-Cody-James: Yes, her cousin. Who he is, is unimportant now, as he is dead. His purpose in life (as far as I'm concerned) is for Luna to lose her virginity to, and to be one- I mean, a bad memory she suppresses, causing her to be who she is today.
Look at all those reviews! You guys rock! For that, you get a post.
Luna buried her head into the creases of the seat she lay on. Her shoulders shook with every trembling breath she took. She could live with the former, understood the former. But how could she live with herself after the latter? The suicide? She went on living everyday and he was dead. She couldn't do it, she never could. And so she pushed it back again, hid it from herself, with all the other memories. She wouldn't remember; she couldn't deal with it, none of it. It was too hard.
She breathed in deeply, inhaling the stale scent of the upholstery. She pulled her sweater tighter around her, her knees closer to her chest, and tried to stop her tears from sliding down her face. She could hear footsteps outside in the corridor; the prefects must be doing rounds. She didn't want them to come in, someone always came in. Sometimes they weren't prefects, just students bored, needing something, or someone, to laugh at. She would ignore them. It was better to ignore them.
This time it was a prefect, not that Luna noticed, or turned to look. The compartment door slid open and Luna concentrated on being invisible. She knew she wasn't, that if anyone looked close enough they could see her, but no one ever looked that hard. No one cared to.
The figure stood in the doorway, and stared at her. Luna could feel the eyes boring into her, tearing her apart. She tried to stay intact.
Had Luna looked, she would have seen Hermione scan the compartment twice, the second time just barely catching the figure in blue, curled in the fetal position, trying so hard to remain invisible, obviously crying. Hermione stood for a minute, watching her. She was torn between pity and disgust. Ultimately she choose to act on neither, and shut the door. Luna heard her step away. She let out a sigh of relief.
----
Hermione turned from the girl when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Ron was signaling they needed to move on. She nodded and followed him to the next compartment. They were doing rounds. Most of the train was empty, save for a few compartments. Those were packed with students, silent, wands within reach. Hermione shook her head, it was all so stupid. Why would Voldemort attack a train with underage students on it anyway? Because Harry Potter is on it, she answered herself.
She felt Ron's arm snake around her waist and she leaned into him. She was tired, and didn't feel like being responsible for all these students right now. Neither she, nor Ron had gotten much sleep last night; Ron hadn't anywhere to go, and wasn't able to get up to the girls dorms, and Ginny was hysterical, so they stayed in the common room with her over night.
The two of them checked the remaining compartments, save for Harry's. Ron said he would do that one alone. He gave her a swift kiss on the cheek, his lips soft and warm. She slid the door shut gently, and joined Ginny. She told Ginny that Ron was speaking to Harry, and the two girls sat in silence, each wondering what Ron was planning to say.
"I hope he hits him" Ginny thought aloud. Hermione half wondered if this was fair, but then she too had acted rashly in the moment. They had after all, broken up…
Hermione gave Ginny a quick hug, and then took out her journal. She scribbled a few words on it quickly, and handed it to Ginny, who took it warily. It read:
Dear Harry,
The rest of the page was blank.
"What's this?" She asked Hermione, unsure of what her friend meant of the peculiar offering.
"Write him a letter. Whether or not you give it to him is your decision. Just write the letter, it'll help you vent." Hermione answered, thrusting her quill into the girls' hand.
Ginny sighed, and turned away.
"I don't know what to say to him." She admitted.
"It doesn't matter. Just start writing, and let it come out. Write from your heart. He doesn't need to read it, if you don't want him to."
Ginny nodded, and stared at the blank piece of parchment before her. It was mocking her in its silence. She wanted it to scream. She put the tip of the quill in ink, and began scratching the paper.
----
Harry sat on the train and stared out the window. The fog was increasing; the dementors must be on the rise, because on top of all his personal issues he needed to worry about that now too. Harry wondered what life would have been like, had Voldemort never attacked his family; he could be sitting with Ginny right now, his arm around her, looking forward to going home, seeing his parents, Sirius, and Remus. Dumbledore would be alive, and he wouldn't have his life repeatedly attacked… But this was just wishful thinking. Naturally none of this could happen, instead he had to take all of life's fucking lemons and what, make lemonade? Doubtful.
The dinner cart should be coming around soon, it was getting late. What little of the sun that had been visible earlier, had now sunk into the horizon. Harry looked away, and back to the book he had been staring at the past hour. He read the first line again. He looked up when he thought he had heard a noise outside his compartment. Maybe the food was finally here? But the sound stopped, was silenced by a shutting door, so he turned back to his book. He read the first line again. He heard footsteps again, and looked up from his book. He couldn't concentrate. Feet shuffled outside the door, than it slid open, revealing a tense Ron.
Harry shut his book and put it aside, he'd been wondering when Ron would visit him. The silence hung heavily in the air. Harry broke it.
"Here to make a eunuch of me?"
"No- good idea though" Ron said, grinning despite himself.
"I suppose you're here to beat me up in the name of your sister's honor, or some shit like that then?"
"Listen, I just want to know what happened."
"No you don't- you want to hit me."
"Well, yes, but you're my best friend so I'm going to listen to what you have to say, then hit you. Sound good?"
Harry squinted, and looked at Ron suspiciously.
"Just, tell me what happened. We were waiting for you after the funeral in the common room, Hermione and me. Ginny too, she went up to get a sweatshirt though. And then you came in, with Loony Lovegood, drunk (obviously), and took her up to our room? And of course that had to be the moment my sister walked in. But bloody hell Harry, what were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking, or I wouldn't have done it. I went to the Hogshead after the funeral, to clear my head, and one thing led to another... and suddenly I was waking up nauseous as hell with a pounding headache, with no memory of last night, except for about five minutes of it, which was just enough to realized how fucked up I am, and that's about it."
"Hmm. So how was it?"
"How was what?"
"Sex! How was it?"
"I don't know, I don't remember any of it, it wasn't exactly a magical evening. So, wait. Are you mad at me?"
"Well you made my sister cry, so yes. But I'm still happy it wasn't her up there with you, because if you'd run into her first, than I WOULD make a eunuch out of you."
When the dinner cart eventually did arrive, Harry and Ron bought a few items, and ate them quietly. There was still tension in the air, but they could talk at least, now. The rest of the ride home felt short, in comparison to the rest of the day. When the train slid into Kings Cross, Harry and Ron stood up, and grabbed their trunks.
"We're still coming with you, you know." Ron said, looking over his shoulder at Harry.
"Who? Where?"
"Me and Hermione, to the Dursleys. We said we would, that hasn't changed."
"She is talking to me then?"
"No. But she's coming."
Harry nodded. He was surprisingly grateful; he didn't have to do it all alone. He wondered what his uncle's response would be.
(A/N): Not my best work, but as it's a transitionary chapter, it wouldn't be. The next chapter couldn't happen without this one, so therefore it is important, even if a bit uneventful.
For those who don't know, a eunuch is defined by as: A man or boy whose testes have been removed or have never developed.
Pleasant thought, isn't it?
lol
anyway, review please!
Thanks!
Emma