Mob was not a fan of bunk beds.

Not just because she didn't get to be the one on top. She didn't care…very much. It did look like fun and all but Sho wanted the top bunk and he was her little brother so he got the top bunk if he wanted it. That was a part of being a big sister, you had to sometimes make sacrifices to make your little brother happy. She loved Sho a lot and she wanted him to be happy and if having the top bunk made him happy then he could have it.

Even if he did kick in his sleep.

He had kicked in his sleep for his entire life. She knew because they had been sharing a room since Sho had been born. The Castle had been big enough for the both of them to have their own rooms but mom had wanted them to sleep together….and also they got scared when they got separated. That house had been so big and so…empty. There had been the front part of the house where everyone lived but the rest of the house had been junk rooms and empty rooms…and dusty rooms. There had been a lot of duct there. Not here, though, because this was a Claw house and it was small and new and just….lived in. Four people lived in this house. Mob, Sho, Baby Mukai, and Baby Mukai's mom. Out of the four people who lived in that house two of them kicked in their sleep.

And out of the four people who lived in that house one of them couldn't sleep.

"Sho…." muttered Mob as she rolled over. When Sho kicked the whole bed shook. She almost wanted to trade beds with Mukai even though Mukai's bed was tiny. She had a toddler bed because she was a toddler. A big bed like hers would have been too much for her and she would have felt lonely. Mob hadn't slept in a toddler bed, she'd always had a real bed, and she and Sho used to share a lot when they were little because their beds were lonely. Now Mob shared a bed with her stuffed animals and dolls. Right now Olaf was looking at her.

She turned around.

She shook the bed as she turned around…and then she shook it again as she sat up. She had rolled over onto another one of her stuffed animals, this was an Elsa bear that she had made at Build a Bear back when they had been in New York City. Not for the play but before that, long before that, back when she had been little. She loved this thing, she really did, but it was in the way. She used her powers to send it over to Mukai's bed. Nothing shook that time, her control was pretty good….well not as good as it used to be. She had been laying off everything because it was bad for Sho and Mukai to see her doing that. She didn't want either of them to end up needing to drink or smoke to control their powers. She had no idea how else they could control their powers but drinking and smoking…were not for little kids.

Thinking really hard helped, though.

Tsuchiya had been teaching her about yoga and stretching and meditating and stuff. Meditating was thinking of nothing and everything at the same time. Like…clearing your head but instead of clearing it out everything you cleared it of only one thing…or something. She wasn't one hundred percent on it yet. It was close to the whole 'conceal don't feel' thing that dad had taught but more like telling her powers to knock it off instead of pretending that they weren't there….or something. It was complicated. It was complicated but she needed to learn this stuff so she wouldn't end up teaching Sho and Mukai….well the stuff that she did.

Even though she couldn't see what was wrong with it.

Ok, smoking was bad for you. Smoking could make you really sick, sick enough to die, and they didn't have Fukuda around anymore so….yeah. She needed to smoke less cigarettes. Smoking from her pen or sharing a joint or three with Shimazaki wasn't going to kill her but she did notice that thinking came easier, less…muddled, now that she was smoking less. The same went for drinking. Well that was more of a for fun thing…and so was smoking now that she thought about it…but she had banished Fukuda so now she was going to have to think more about her health and the health of her siblings.

The only bad thing about Fukuda being gone.

Ok, now she really wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep. Sho was kicking like he was dreaming about playing soccer or something…but she might have been able to fall asleep even with that going on if she got tired enough. Her thoughts were going too fast but they would have slowed down eventually. She was getting mad, now, and getting mad….well getting mad was most definitely the kind of thing that was going to keep her up. She didn't like being mad…and now she was. She always felt like this when she thought about how…how he had lied to her…and dad had lied to her…and Sho had lied to her…and just…there had been years and years and years of lies and…

And she got out of bed.

She got out of bed and she tucked Baby Mukai in. She had kicked her blankets off. That wasn't good. She was going to get cold…even though it was summer. She could still get cold. The air conditioner was on after all. Mob had to think about these things. She was the big sister and as the big sister she had to think about her siblings…even when her siblings didn't always think about her. Even when her siblings went along with things that were so wrong, so incredibly wrong, that even Shimazaki could have been able to see…no. No. That was mean. That was mean to Shimazaki and that was mean to Sho, too.

He was too little to know what he had been doing.

He had been too little to know that he had been doing…even though he wasn't even a whole year younger than her…but still. He had just been doing what Fukuda had told him to do and…and she couldn't be mad at him. No, she had to be mad at the people who had done wrong….like…like her dad…and Fukuda. She…well she had banished them both and now it was over and now she had to stop thinking about this. She had to think about her little brother and her little sister.

She climbed the ladder to the top bunk.

Sho had kicked his blankets off too. She had to fix them or else he would end up being cold…and she never wanted her little brother to be cold. She never wanted her little brother to ever be too cold or too hot or too unhappy or too sad or too…too anything. Too anything but happy and…and it was ok if it didn't go the other way. It was ok if Sho didn't think about her the way she thought about him. She loved him and that was enough.

She loved him enough to tuck him back in.

Balancing on the ladder wasn't easy, especially since she was in her socks. She almost slipped as she reached over and dragged the blanket back over Sho. He had kicked if off all the way to the end of the bed. He needed it, though, because it was cold in there. She pulled the blanket up as best as she could without waking him. It wasn't easy, he had a lot of stuff in bed with him too. Stuff that should have been in bed with him, like his stuffed animals, and stuff that should not have been in bed with him…like his phone and sketchbook. Mob frowned and picked those up with her powers. He should not have been sketching in bed and he should not have been on his phone either….but she wasn't going to get mad at him. She was his big sister and big sisters never got mad at their little brothers.

Especially not over something as dumb as him staying up late.

Mob climbed down from the top bunk, not slipping once, not even when she made it down the last step. It had been surprising, actually, when her foot hit the floor. She had been expecting another step there and she had stumbled a little bit. Enough to make the bed shake a little…but not enough to drop the stuff that she had been carrying, or to wake her little brother and sister. She didn't know which would have been worse…well waking people would have been bad because they needed their sleep…but dropping Sho's stuff could have broken it and she didn't want to upset him like that…but it didn't matter.

Everyone was asleep and nothing was broken.

She got off the ladder and went over to the charging block. She had to keep it behind her dollhouse now because Mukai like to unplug things. She didn't know why Mukai liked to unplug things, it was hard to tell with her sometimes…what went on in her head, but she did know that Mukai should not have been playing with the electricity. She could have gotten shocked and without Fukuda around she could have gotten really hurt…it was weird. She had never given this much thought to what Fukuda did…mostly because he had always been with Sho and Sho was the one….well he had been the one…who had gotten hurt more often than everyone else….

Now Mukai was the one who got hurt.

Well she tried to get hurt, anyway. She jumped from the top bunk, tried to eat things that weren't food, didn't chew the things that were food, and more than once Mob had caught her trying to stick her finger in the electrical socket just…she didn't even know why. She was a girl and Mob was a girl and Mob had never acted like that….but then again she did look more like Sho and Sho acted like that….but Sho acted like dad…well she assumed that he acted like dad since she couldn't ever picture mom acting like that…but if there was one thing she had learned at this point it was that people were capable of all kinds of stuff….stuff that you never would have imagined…

She put Sho's phone on the charger.

It turned on when she plugged it in and…well she knew that snooping was wrong and stuff but….well he had a lot of missed calls and texts. All from Emmy….and she didn't have a heart next to her name. That was what you were supposed to do when you liked someone, you put a heart next to their name. Minegishi had one next to Shimazaki's name, well he was Ryou on their phone but it was the same thing, and she had even done a heart for Minegishi's name, well they were called Toshi in his phone but it was the same thing, even though that messed up the screen reader. Sho didn't have a heart or…anything….next to Emmy's name in his phone…

Which was weird.

He also hadn't called or texted her back in a while…not that Mob as snooping around and being nosy. No, she just wanted to know why her brother hadn't texted his girlfriend back in a while and also why she didn't have a heart next to her name. Emmy had texted him a million times, it looked like anyway, and the texts got more and more….upset. First she just told him about his day and asked about his but then it turned into her asking where he was, if he was ok, if dad's enemies killed him, if she had done something wrong…poor Emmy…

Sho had probably forgotten about her….because things were so busy with Mukai and stuff.

Mob knew that she had been really busy…too busy to think about a lot of things. Like how she hadn't heard from Dad since before Mukai got there….or how everything felt all…uneven…without Hatori around….or how Tsuchiya was kind of nice even though she was also…her. How Mukai needed someone to watch her twenty four hours a day and there were so many ways that she could hurt herself and Mob couldn't account for all of them and maybe she could have if people had given her an actual chance to take care of her own sister and….ok. She was going to calm down and….and fix this. Yes, she could do that.

She could help Sho out.

That was what big sisters were for after all. They helped out their little brothers. She didn't know, exactly, how it worked with Sho. How he could have wanted to marry Emmy while at the same time wanted to be Shimazaki's boyfriend and love him and kiss him and never let him go…and whatever else he thought about. She put down Sho's sketchbook and picked up his phone. She could fix this for him. Boys were bad at relationship stuff, Minori had said so and she knew a lot about boys, but that was ok. Sho had her and she could make everything all better for him.

She opened up his messenger app.

There were….a lot of texts to Shimazaki….which was good because they were friends and all but…well if he could text Shimazaki in the middle of the night about what kind of candle tasted the best….apparently the long dinner kind….then he could have taken the ten seconds to tell his girlfriend that he was there and that he loved her….but then again he was a boy and there were just the things that boys cared about it seemed….and also he was in love with Shimazaki….really in love with him. The kind of love that lasted for years and years and…maybe that was why Sho hadn't been texting Emmy back….

No way.

Sho wasn't like that. He wouldn't just ignore the girl he loved because he was spending time with the guy he loved. Her brother wasn't some kind of serial love…feeler. He was just…her little brother….that was all. He just didn't know how girls worked but that was ok. Mob knew how girls worked. She got out of his messages with Shimazaki and scrolled down to the ones with Emmy…it had been a while since he had last talked to her. The last real conversation that they'd had…gross. It was about this thing that she had found on the internet about a man who had another tiny head stuck to his….that should have been his twin and….Mob grabbed her stomach. Those poor twins. She wasn't going to have a baby any time soon, she was only twelve and also she hadn't done much more than kiss and touch a little bit with Teru, but when she did she hoped that it came out healthy and stuff.

And she wished the same for Emmy too.

Not that she and Sho were doing anything like that…she scrolled up just to be sure. Nope. She talked about how she missed kissing him….gross….but they never talked about…any of the stuff that Mob thought about. She never asked Sho to do more than kiss her or hold her hand….which was good. Her little brother was way too little for all that. Mob…knew what she had been thinking about last year…all the stuff that she had thought about doing with Hatori. Him kissing her and holding her and….other stuff….so was it alright for her to be happy that her brother wasn't thinking about doing that stuff with Emmy? She wanted him to be happy…and kissing and stuff felt good….but also that was her little brother so…..

She stopped scrolling up.

Sho was his own person and he could do whatever he wanted to do. She didn't get to stand behind him and tell him who he could and could not kiss. She…didn't get to have feelings about this…maybe. She didn't know. She decided to stop scrolling up. Like dad always said, she had no idea what to do with this information. If Sho was doing the same stuff that she did then…well it wasn't like she could tell him to stop so….she just stopped scrolling up. She tapped the texting box. Everything scrolled down on it's own really fast. There. Now she could get to…what she had set out to do.

She would fix this.

'Hi Emmy. I'm sorry that I didn't text you back for a while but I've been busy.' Said Mob. She decided to put in a bunch of hearts after Emmy's name. That was what she would have wanted if a boy had ever texted her…not that any boy was ever going to text her. She didn't know any boys, really, and the ones she did know were in the group and she could just talk to her friends in person whenever she wanted to. She wondered if she sounded like Sho enough there…well Sho…she had read his texts and he knew nothing about how to talk to girls….but that was ok.

She could fix this.

'I've been busy with my new little sister. My dad had a secret daughter and now she's living with us and my dad left and now me and my sister are taking care of our little sister.' Said Mob. She…well she left out the part about the cheating and the lying and the exploding…which was good…because Emmy couldn't know about all of that…so….so this was good. She was doing this right.

She knew what she was doing.

'Anyway I love you a lot. I think about you every single day and I can't wait until I can see you again.' said Mob. She would have liked it if someone…maybe Teru…said that to her…so Emmy would have loved to hear that from Sho…and Sho was a very good boyfriend and he would have said that to Emmy if he knew how. Boys didn't always know how to say what was on their minds. She had heard Shimazaki say it before that there were all kinds of things that he wanted to say to Minegishi but he didn't know how…and dad was pretty bad about talking about how he felt…

She knew how Sho felt and she knew how to say it better than he could, too.

'I can't wait until we're all grown up and I can see you every single day. You're the prettiest, smartest, nicest girl that I've ever met and I love you so much more than I know how to say. Being away from you makes me feel sad inside and when we're together it feels like I have glitter exploding inside of me. You're the love of my life and even if I don't always know how to say it that's how I feel all the time. Also your hair is very soft and you smell nice.' Said Mob. She wondered if that had maybe been too much….no. That had been just enough. She could just imagine Emmy's face when she woke up and saw this text. She would have been so happy….which was good. She was a nice girl…well she was weird but nice….and she deserved to be happy.

And so did Sho.

'I love you. You're my most perfect person. I have to go to sleep now. Goodnight.' Said Mob. She maybe should have told her that Sho would text her back…but that would have been too much. Mob put the phone down on the nightstand…and then it started to vibrate. Right….it was day in England…and now she had read it and she wanted to talk to Sho….and she couldn't do a good Sho impression…

She felt terrible about it but she hit ignore.

She hit ignore and put the phone down again. She went to turn around and the sleeve of her nightgown got caught on the spirals of Sho's sketchbook. It slid down the nightstand and hit the floor. Mob froze. Aside from some kicking and bed shaking nobody was awake. Mob let out a breath that she hadn't known that she'd been holding. Good, nobody had woken up. She picked up the sketchbook. It had opened up when it had fallen.

She maybe should have closed it.

Mukai was little and she needed a nightlight. Mob didn't mind it…well she hadn't minded it. She kind of wanted to turn it off now, even if it was kind of nice. It was dim enough to sleep by…but not so dim that she couldn't see what was in this notebook. That was….Shimazaki…with no shirt on….and…yeah. That was what Shimazaki looked like with no shirt on and…Sho…was a good artist. That was just like how Shimazaki looked in life and…yeah. That was his chest. The tattoo….the scars he hid under the tattoo…his muscles….all of his muscles….that thin trail of hair that started at his stomach and went down into his pants….yeah. That was….a very good drawing…..that Mob was not going to be looking at…

She closed his sketchbook.

She slid it under the nightstand…and then she put Mukai's doll car in front of it…and then she put a pile of Sho's dirty clothes on top of that…and then she put her my size Elsa doll on top of that….and that still wasn't enough. That…had not been the sort of thing for her to see. She knew that Sho was in love with Shimazaki…and she knew that Sho liked to draw….and she knew that Sho had drawn that because he had more than friends….and more than love….feelings for Shimazaki. The kinds of feelings that she used to have for Hatori…and the kinds of feelings that she had for Teru…and….she did not want to ever think about her own little brother having those kinds of feelings ever again…

She went back to her own bed.

There was no way that she was ever going to be able to sleep…and also Sho had kicked his blankets off again….and she was going to leave him alone. She was going to leave him alone and….and she was going to sleep in her own bed and…and maybe she was going to die by the time that she woke up. Did people ever die of embarrassment? She had heard that expression…if dad had been there then he would have known. If dad had been there then she could have gone into his room and asked him…or just slept next to him. She….didn't like this…right now. She just….did not want to think about…about how her brother had the same feelings that she did. She was being dumb, she knew from the books that Minegishi had gotten her that everyone had those kinds of feelings and that they were nothing to be ashamed of, but also….also this was her BABY BROTHER and he…he was little! She….she closed her eyes. She loved her brother and….and this was none of her business and…and he could draw all the half-naked pictures that he wanted to draw…..at least it hadn't been a naked picture…she didn't know what she would have done if he'd drawn a naked picture of Shimazaki…

She did NOT want to see that!

She….needed to be calm and just…go to sleep. She closed her eyes. Either she would go to sleep or tomorrow would happen, one of the two. Either way once tomorrow happened then she was never going to have to think about what she had seen…and learned. Tomorrow was another day, she had heard that somewhere, and it was true. Tomorrow was another day and…and she had saved Sho's relationship….and tomorrow he would be so happy that she had helped him out and...and now it was bed time….so she was going to bed now….

Well she was going to try.