(A/N): For some reason this one took me a while to write. Its a tad slow at the beginning, but I left it off at a pretty intense part. And now to thank my reviewers.
Harpy Prince: Love triangle! Triangle!
absolutleyfabulous: Thanks! And I make no promises (mostly because I haven't quite figured out how I will end the story yet).
Yoyoyo123: lol. The next chapter is now.
BusBuddies: Naturally I feel it necessary to defend my own work, and so I ask you to please bear with me.
I understand where you are coming from, when you tell me I have grammar errors running rampant. I do have a few sentence fragments, but for the most part it is fine. A lot of what you probably think are erroneous I find to be stylistic. The rules of grammar are lax in fiction, and what would be considered an error in nonfiction, in fiction is permissible.
I agree with you on your point about Mad-Eye and Vernon Dursley. Unfortunately I let my laziness and dislike for that chapter all together get to me, and I could have elaborated far more than I did. Vernon was threatened, but I may not have let that come across as strongly as I had intended.
I strongly dislike original characters, so I would never do that. And as I am following HBP, it is illogical for me to call it AU.
On the OOCness (pretend that's a word), yes, it is a bit. I'm not JKR, so there's only so much I can do, as we don't honestly know what Luna thinks.
The cursing… I'm an American, what can I say? I know I shouldn't let it affect my writing, but it does. It would any writer, whatever their nationality. People write about what they know, and I grew up in New York. People curse.
The fourth chapter, where Luna is on the train, is my favorite so far. Yes, you were left in the dark about a lot of what was going on. Luna is struggling to suppress her memories, and will only let pieces out at a time. It would be unrealistic for her to let go of everything at once; people don't do that.
Swiss cheese! I laughed when I read that. I prefer to call it loose ends. Don't worry; everything will come together, just give it time.
Luna stood at the stove and watched blue-black flames lick the bottom of the pot. She had forgotten what she had planned on making. This wasn't the first time, either. Last night she'd put on a pot of water to boil, and walked out of the room. She was forced back in only when she heard the kettles insistent wail from her room upstairs. A cloud of steam singed her hand when she pulled the top off to still its whistle.
She looked around the kitchen in hopes of remembering what she was making, but there was nothing save for an open newspaper on the table. She walked over to it and folded the paper, tucking it under a pile of magazines. She did not need more deaths staring up at her face. This morning was bad enough as it was.
She'd woken up to find spotted blood on her bed sheets, a full two weeks earlier than she'd expected. While she'd been scrubbing the sheets under cool water in the laundry room, her father came in to remind her they had to attend the Weasley/Delacore wedding that afternoon. As though she needed reminding.
She was feeling torn between wanting to go to the wedding, and dreading it. She wanted to see Harry again, but it was just so awkward.
Luna poured herself a glass of cranberry juice and walked up to her room. Her dress was hanging on her closet door. She sipped her juice and sat back on her bed, the sheets in a pile waiting for her to put them back properly. She ignored them and stared at the dress instead. It was a dark gray, with ribbon straps and waistband. It had come with two small bows where the straps met the dress, but she had torn them off. Bows did not shag boys. The edges of the dress were ruffled, they looked torn. It was what had first drawn her to the dress. It was lonely and broken; like her.
Luna looked at the clock and stood up; she had to begin to get ready for the party; the wedding was a huge affair, and she could not go looking as bleary eyed and tired as she was. She quickly ran a shower and shampooed her greasy hair. She hadn't felt the need to wash since she returned from Hogwarts over a week ago, and had let herself get visibly dirty.
She stepped out of the shower and onto the cold white tile when her skin regained its natural pink. She towel dried her hair, than wrapped the towel around her body, walking back into her room. After clipping her hair off her face, Luna slipped into her dress and put in a pair of earrings shaped as silver wedding bells. They swung back and forth, clinking each other, ringing as bells often do. They sounded cheerful; Luna silenced them. She looked around for her bracelet, and found it on the floor by her unpacked trunk. The strawberry charm was missing. She replaced it with a charm of a boot.
Luna walked down to the kitchen when she had finished readying herself, to wait for her father. He would apparate the two of them to the wedding. She glanced over to the stove and quickly turned it off. She had to be more careful.
She sat at the table and picked up the latest issue of The Quibbler, opening to the first page to read the dedication. Every issue was dedicated to her mother; the magazine had been her dream. It always said the same thing: iTo Rosamond, my love, my life, my soul mate./i. Luna ran her fingers over the too familiar words, but shut it and stood quickly when her father walked into the room.
"Luna, you look just like your mother. When did you become so beautiful?"
Luna smiled; her father was always like this.
"Are you ready?" He asked her.
"Yes,"
He offered his arm to her, and she took it. She felt herself be pulled though a narrow tube, sucking her to an internal abyss. She hated apparation in all its forms.
They 'popped' onto the Weasley lawn where they were quickly greeted and ushered away, to allow for other guests to arrive. Everything seemed to be a bit hectic, but that was to be expected with such a large number of people attending.
Not that Luna knew it, but the entire Order of the Phoenix were in attendance, as well as many ministry workers, all Weasley and Delacore family members, close friends, and neighbors. The Weasley yard had been extended to fit the large number of people as comfortably as possible, and was decorated with a flurry of white orchids, with fairies waiting patiently until nightfall to sparkle. White wooden folding chairs sat in rows facing a large white wedding arch, vines creeping up its side. Luna barely registered any of this as she searched the crowds for Harry.
"Luna! Hey, Luna!" She heard her name be hollered out. Turning to see who was calling, Luna spotted Neville limping over, smiling at her. She waved at him politely. When he finally reached her, they exchanged greetings, and Luna introduced him to her father, who was still standing at her side. Her father shook Neville's hand, than saw some men he knew gathered around the groom, and, misinterpreting Luna's discomfort for a schoolgirl crush, murmured something about going to chat with them, leaving Luna alone with Neville.
"How's your leg doing?"
"Better. My grandmother wasn't too pleased when she saw it though"
"No, I'd expect not. Is your family close friends with the Weasley's?"
"Not really, my parents were in the Order of the Phoenix though, before…"
"Before they were tortured?"
Neville nodded. "You know?"
Luna shrugged, it did not matter what she knew; it would change nothing. Just as his knowing of her relations with Harry would change nothing.
"Do you think they will be starting the ceremony soon?" Neville nodded in answer, and led her to one of the seats in the rear. Luna didn't have much honor here, and Neville respected that. Luna kept an eye out for Harry, and didn't see him until he passed her to take his seat up front with the Weasley's.
The ceremony itself was simple enough, basic as its Celtic roots. Bill, garbed in dress robes lined with the Weasley tartan, held hands with Fleur, who was dressed lavishly in a Juliet inspired gown, made entirely of white silk, and trimmed with gold lace. Ginny and a blonde girl who could only be Fleur's sister, stood beside the bride in simple silver gowns with cap sleeves. Charley Weasley stood next to the groom. Mad-Eye Moody was conducting the ceremony, as he was the closest to the family who was ordained. It had been planned that Dumbledore would do the handfasting, but that was no longer possible. Mad-Eye was the only choice. At least next to him, the scars Bill wore were softened.
The couple stood, hands clasped as Mad-Eye began tying the first of six ropes around their hands, repeating the first line to the Scottish Blessing of the Elements.
"Deep peace of the running wave to you"
He tied the second rope around their hands.
"Deep peace of the flowing air to you"
He tied the third rope, and so on until the sixth.
"Deep peace of the quiet earth to you"
"Deep peace of the shining stars to you"
"Deep peace of the spirit of peace to you"
And than, quickly as it had started, Bill was pinning on a piece of his family tartan on Fleur, lifting her veil to bestow her with a kiss, and the ceremony was over.
The bride and groom walked down the aisle followed closely by the wedding party. Harry didn't look at her as he passed her, or if he did, he was so discreet about it, that she didn't see him do it.
"Are you two not talking now?" Neville asked, seeing Harry snub her, as she watched him pass. Luna ignored him, and walked away.
She circled around the crowd, to the frontyard, and sat on the steps leading into the house. Everyone was mingling now; they had an hour before dinner would be ready to serve. Luna stared at her feet. She was acting like a child and she knew it, but she didn't really care. She wasn't in the mood to socialize.
---
"Just go! She deserves an apology from you!" Hermione chastised Harry.
"She didn't have to go with me! What should I apologize for?"
"Just do it!"
--
Luna heard footsteps crunching along the gravel. She didn't look up; she knew whose they were. No one but him planted such sure footed steps, and made them sound lighthearted at the same time. He sat down next to her, and neither of them spoke for what felt like forever, but was really just a few minutes.
"I never meant for it to happen, you know."
"I know" Luna replied softly, fighting the desire to cry.
"I'm sorry, your first time shouldn't have been like that."
"It wasn't my first time."
"I… what? er, I mean, oh." Harry mumbled, trying to decide how he felt: Relieved? Hurt? Jealous? Why would he feel jealous? It wasn't like he cared for her or anything…
"Hmm?"
"Nothing, I just thought… Never mind"
"You thought you were my first"
"Well, yea. I just, never thought…"
"Never thought anyone else would want me? Am I that weird that no one else would ever give me a shot? Is it that hard to conceive that maybe I actually had more experience than you? You should be glad! Imagine how bad it would be for your reputation if you, Harry Potter, had taken advantage of loony Lovegood!"
"Hey! You are just as much at fault as me! You could have just left me alone!"
"I was trying to comfort you."
"I didn't need comforting!"
"Well obviously you did as you managed to get yourself drunk and slept with the first person who crossed your path in order to alleviate your pain! Ignoring the issue will not make it go away. The deaths will always be there, and they will always hurt."
"What do you know about pain?"
"A wretched soul, bruised with adversity,
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burdened with like weight of pain,
As much or more we should ourselves complain."
"What is that?"
"It's Shakespeare, and I know plenty about pain."
"Do you? Do you know what it feels like to grow up not knowing your parents, in a house that fears and hates you? Do you know what it feels like for your parents, your friend, your godfather, and your mentor to die? To see it happen? To hear it every time you fall asleep? Do you know what that feels like? DO YOU?"
Luna turned away from him. She wasn't going to answer.
"Well? Tell me. What could possibly have caused you so much pain; that you think you understand even an iota of my pain?"
"Leave me alone" Luna mumbled
"What?"
"Leave me alone."
"No- I want to know the answer. What pain have you seen?"
"It's nothing, go away"
"It can't be nothing, if you think its enough for you to have me figured out"
"Just, it's nothing okay? Just, leave me alone" She wouldn't look at him, she couldn't.
"Answer the question"
"Go away" Why wouldn't he go away?
"What pain Luna?"
"Leave me alone!" She tried not to cry.
"What pain?"
"Shut up shut up shut up!" Tears spilled from her eyes.
"TELL ME!"
"NO!"
"WHY?"
"BECAUES SHE'S DEAD AND TELLING YOU WON'T BRING HER BACK! It was an accident, they all say it was an accident, but they didn't see it happen! The deaths you saw? They were noble; they died because they had to. My mother died because she wanted to. She didn't want to live, she rejected life and all that was in it, me included. She couldn't find another way out so she did it herself!
They say it was an accident well that bullshit. It was no accident. She knew it would kill her; she knew it because she purposely measured out every last drop of lobalug venom into her wine, than sat back on her bed, closed her eyes, and drank it. She didn't open them to see me standing there, and I did nothing to stop it. I was nine years old. I didn't know what she was doing.
They said it was a magical accident, but I know better. She always labeled everything perfectly. It was no accident. You can tell me all you want about how you know pain; you know nothing. Nothing."
(A/N): Intense moment. I felt it was the best place to cut.
Lobalug XXX
This is an ocean-dwelling creature, resident in the North Sea. It is around 10 inches long and has a venom sac, which it uses to shoot poison at its attacker when threatened. Merpeople are known to use the Lobalug as a weapon.
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