Suzuki would have killed everyone on this plane, aside from himself and Hatori, if it meant that he got to see Shigeko again.
So….the pilot…but he needed the pilot. He knew that if he need to he could have easily just picked up the plane and flown it himself….but then people would ask questions if he just landed a pane with n pilot in an airport. So he wasn't going to kill the pilot…but if there had been some way to kill the pilot then he would have…not that he had anything against the pilot….and not that he was feeling particularly murderous or anything like that. No…he was just feeling…
He didn't even know.
He didn't know what in the hell he was feeling right now at fifty thousand feet. He felt…well this plane was too small and too loud…and also he had gotten too used to wearing comfortable clothes. That was a feeling, the way his collar scratched at his neck, the way his cuffs constricted at his wrists, the way his belt dug into his stomach…he had been feeling all of this for years and he hadn't even noticed it…though the belt thing may have been new.
He had been gaining weight lately.
The crunch of potato chips was to blame for that. Not from him, no, that was from Hatori. He was sitting in his seat eating chip after chip after chip. If he hadn't been eating those orange chips then Suzuki would have helped himself. He had been eating more and more lately…and things that may not have been fully considered to be food. Chips…fries…buttered popcorn with ketchup….bread and ketchup…ketchup with more ketchup….and also takeout. Endless boxes of takeout. His final meal in Germany had been takeout, curry-wurst, delicious and probably not good for him. He wasn't a child anymore. He was a grown man….a middle aged man…and his metabolism was not what it used to be. He used to be able to eat whatever he wanted and in massive quantities too….back when he'd ben young…young as Hatori or even younger. Back when he'd been more active. More walking…gym class every day….kendo after school…all of that. All of what had kept him from getting himself into the state that he was now….to keep him from feeling the way his belt dug into his stomach…
He loosened it.
The good thing about not having his daughter near. He could loosen his belt with his powers and…that was better…though it was time for new clothes. The bad side to not having his daughter around…well one of the bad sides. There existed an infinite number of bad sides to not having his daughter around…but one of them was the fact that he would have to go back to ordering his own clothing. He hated it…shopping…and ordering clothing wasn't much better. Even with the most clear and explicit instructions he always ended up with something that was wrong in some way. Too big, too small, too loose, too tight, too…something….
Shigeko always got it right.
If she had been there she would have told him, not asked him but told him, that she was ordering him some more of those shirts he liked. She also would have told him that he was gaining weight and that she was going to be making more vegetables…even though she wasn't the best at making vegetables. She either boiled them until they were the consistency of baby food or stir fried them until they were so done that they were almost inedible…which was good for losing weight…and he did need to lose weight…and she wouldn't have had to lose weight if she had been there. He loved her cooking even though her vegetables were mush…and her eggs were rubbery…and her curry had shredded cheese in it…he still loved her cooking. He loved her cooking….he loved the way she always knew just what he wanted…he loved having her there with him….but now she was gone…and he was going to have to find some way to carry on without her…
If there even was a way to carry on without her.
He rested his head on the wall of the plane and looked out the window. She was in Japan. She was in Japan and he was fifty thousand feet in the air sitting next to Hatori…and she was with the others….and he didn't really miss the others….but if putting up with the others was the price that he would have had to pay to be near her then he would have gladly paid it. There was no price that he would have found too great to be near her again…
Well….mostly.
He wondered if Mukai was well. He wondered if she was being good to Shigeko. He wondered if he was eating Shigeko's cooking. He wondered if Shigeko had purchased some new clothing for her…she did love to purchase clothing. She spent a small fortune each season on new clothing…but that was just how women were…and she was a woman. She was a small woman…but she was a woman. She was woman enough to kick him out of his family….his home and his family. She was…she was….she was right to do what she had done and…and he knew that he was her father and he could have gone back…but going back….going back was not an option…not when Mukai was there.
He so hoped that she was well.
He hoped that she was eating well. He hoped that she was sleeping well. He hoped that she was growing up well. He hoped that Shigeko had begun teaching her to read. Masami had started with the children at about two. She had taught them the sounds, basic hiranga, and by the time that they had been four they had both been able to fluently read hiranga and even some kanji as well. They had both been so bright…well of course they had been bright, their mother had been the most intelligent woman that Suzuki had ever met in his life…and of course she had been intelligent. She had been intelligent enough to leave him….
Before he gave her any reason to leave him.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out with his powers and….oh. Shiori. They were still speaking….texting…which Hatori had told him was just as good as speaking…not that he knew anything about heterosexual relationships or any kind of relationships really…and not that Suzuki was in any kind of a relationship with this woman. She was…someone who he had…done some intimate things with…and who he enjoyed speaking with….texting with…she was attempting to speak to him now and….and he needed to respond….even though he didn't feel like it…
He was still going to be polite to her…he wasn't going to alienate another woman in his life…the last woman in his life.
'Another addition to the family' said Shiori…and then she attached a photograph of another starfish. This one was orange with red markings. He didn't much understand her fascination with these creatures. They were so simple….not even a nervous system….but he supposed that they were complex in their simplicity. A creature with no brain…a creature that could regenerate its self…he wondered if she ever chopped them up to see if new starfish would grow. When he had been a child he had done the same thing with worms…and that had worried mother and she'd ordered him to stop….but he had been at the end of his experiments anyway. If you cut a worm in half you didn't get two new worms, you just got a dead worm…
And mother had been sick and tired of opening the refrigerator to find bowls of dead worms.
'Do you ever cut them in half to see if you can get new starfish?' asked Suzuki. Three dots appeared next to her name…she was typing…there was a familiar hitch in his throat and heart….he could feel it and…he felt his wedding ring. There was no way that his ring was going to slip off again. He wasn't in the tub, for one thing, and he had gained weight for another…no…there was no way that his ring was ever going to slip off again….
Not unless he took it off.
There was no point to wearing that ring. The ring on his finger was supposed to symbolize his love and commitment to one woman, his wife, Masami….this ring was supposed to bind her to him and him to her…but she had left him. She had broken the bond…she had broken it and he had broken it as well…so they had both broken it. They had both cut this marriage in half…and like a worm there was no way to put it back together….and it wasn't going to grow into two marriages either…
He didn't know if he ever wanted to be married again….if he ever wanted to be married to Masami again…or anyone else for that matter….
'Morbid and no. That would just get me a dead starfish. They aren't earthworms you know.' Said Shiori. Suzuki knew for a fact that starfish were not earthworms….and maybe that was why he suddenly felt so flushed. She…well she thought that he was stupid….
'That was sarcasm by the way. I know that you know that earthworms are not starfish.' Oh. Well now he was really flushed and…she knew what he had been thinking. She couldn't read minds….and even if she could have he was half a world away from her….so she just…knew him….she knew him well enough that she had clarified herself before he had even had to tell her to explain…and also…also she had guessed about the earthworm thing and….
He can feel his heart beating in his chest.
Maybe it's just a side effect of his terrible diet. Maybe he's going to have a heart attack and die. Maybe this is how the life of Suzuki Touichirou ended. He…did not want to die…but death would have been better than the alternative. He knew this feeling, he had felt it many times before, and….and he didn't want to feel it again….but he had felt it for Shiori maybe since the moment he laid eyes on her…but that was just how he was with women sometimes. The world was built for two after all, mother and father had said so, and when you met your most perfect person you just knew. Like how father had decided that mother had been his most perfect person.
Her hair.
That was what had drawn him to her. He had been overseas before, obviously, but he had never seen anyone with hair the same color as mother's…and Suzuki's, too, since he had her coloring. Father had told him, once, that it had been fate which had brought them together. He had first set eyes on mother at her university's art show, he had been picking up a present for his parents, and if he had been a second too late he would have missed her…but he saw her and then he knew that he had to have her and then three months later they had been married and Suzuki had been on the way. That was just how it worked. You saw a woman, knew that she was your most perfect person, and then you just had to have her.
Suzuki didn't want another most perfect person, though, that was the problem.
Shigeko was his most perfect person….well not in the wife sense but….she was perfect…and before her Masami had been perfect. At least…she had been untarnished in his eyes, before. Her perfection had been…brighter….then. As time went on she…well the imager of her became tarnished as his memories of her perfection faded. She had always been….moody. Masami had always been prone to fits of anger or sadness….and he knew that he had played some part in those fits but she had never told him what he had done wrong or how to stop…and also she had been distant towards the end…and even after all these years of marriage he still…sometimes he felt like…like he knew nothing about her and she knew nothing about him…like they were still just those two strangers who had met at that train station….
But she was still his wife…he still had this ring….and it meant something…even though it also meant nothing….without her by his side….
'Thank you for clarifying yourself. I appreciate that.' Said Suzuki. He wondered if he should have used one of those emotion face things…no. Those were too complex….and he did not want to have to ask Hatori for help. He was playing something on his laptop…something that involved a lot of photorealistic shooting and cursing under his breath…and Suzuki was loathe to disturb him…and he was loathe to have to explain any of what he was doing as well….not that there was anything to explain…..
He had already stepped out on his marriage once….twice….so what was…whatever this was?
'Thank you for appreciating me.' Said Shiori and then she sent him a smiling face…oh. So maybe he should have sent one back….he didn't know which one…he decided to get her talking about herself and her day….that would at least give him time to think…not that he needed to think…because he was not under any obligation to speak to her…he was Suzuki Touichirou and he….well he could talk to whoever he wanted to talk to….
Or text. He could text whoever he wanted to, too.
'How have you been? Have you had any new developments in your life?' asked Suzuki. He was partially stalling and partially….well he liked it when women spoke to him….or texted him. When he read her words he could almost imagine what her voice would have sounded like if she had been beside him. Occasionally her voice turned into Masami's….what he imagined her voice sounded like….he couldn't fully remember her voice….but it did some to mind…the feeling of it…
Her voice had always had a good feeling to it.
Her voice was so melodious…and soft….and hearing her speak had always felt like laying in his backyard, when he had been young, and listening to the wind chime. Just sitting there on the grass on a warm summer's day…just listening….just listening and feeling and….and he used to listen to her for hours and hours….and she had been happy to speak to him….before….back when they had been first married…but then by the time that Sho had come along she had been done with that. She had been tired from caring for their child….too tired to speak to him…she had even said that she didn't exist to entertain him and that maybe he should have entertained her for once…but she hadn't been entertaining. If he had wanted to have been entertained he would have watched television. He had told her that she didn't entertain him at all…and then she had gone to bed and left him with Sho….and that whole night had just been…strange…..
She had always been a strange woman, Masami, but that had been part of the fascination he had with her…and the chasm that had grown between them….possibly even from the very beginning.
'Aside from Patricia Star there not really. It's been very quiet here. War wise of course. People have been talking about you and your daughter.' Said Shiori. That had been…worrying. He knew that people spoke about him. The underworld, of course, since he had so many dealings with them…and also the upper echelons of society since he was a relative newcomer to their ranks. He had always been wealthy, the Suzuki family had always been wealthy, but the end of the Second World War hadn't been good for the family….Japan losing and all. Not a big market once the war had ended, the economy had been destroyed, and the world trying to pick up it's pieces….among other not so kind things that grandfather had told him on the one visit he'd made as a child.
Thankfully the only visit.
Father had been disowned for marrying mother…disowned from nothing but still disowned. Suzuki had never been able to understand it. Mother hadn't been responsible for any of that, she had been five years after all that of that had ended…and also she loved Japan and it's people. That was why she had come to Japan in the first place…and Suzuki hadn't been happy about having all of that taken out on him as well….and he hadn't meant to burn the house down….well he had wanted to run away but not burn to death…
But that had been forty something years ago and all of that was done now.
He didn't know why he was thinking so much about the past. He should have been worried about the present. People were talking about him…they had always spoken about him…but now this could have been bad. Him and Shigeko…if people knew that there was trouble at home then it could have damaged his standing in the world. He wasn't the unquestioned lord and master of the world yet…and what people thought mattered…and he was going to have to deal with that now. Fukuda had always dealt with that, he knew how people functioned, but Fukuda was gone now…and Suzuki was going to have to deal with this on his own….
Or maybe Hatori could help…he was certainly interested enough.
"What?" asked Suzuki. Hatori had been leaning over and staring at his phone…just staring…like this was just something that was done. He knew from Shigeko that you were not supposed to look at another person's phone, it was a bit like reading their diary or something, and he…well he was not a nosy man…though he was curious as to why Shigeko had so many photographs of androgynous Korean men on her phone….
Not curious enough to ever lean over and just….stare…though.
"Nothing. Just wanted to see what had you so worked up…not to be nosy or anything." Said Hatori
"My own personal business. Now play your game and eat your chips and let me be." Said Suzuki as he clicked his phone off and put it in his pocket. He….hadn't been doing anything wrong…and even if he had been doing something wrong Hatori had no right to question him…so…so there….
Yes. So there.
"Ok, I'll leave you alone…but if you need help with something then I can help you. I'm pretty much out of stuff to do." Said Hatori
"Impossible. There's always something to do. What about the budget? We can always work on the budget." Said Suzuki
"We're going to be in the black by the end of the year….but just barely." Said Hatori
"Oh….good work….but what about…don't you have people to punish on my behalf? And I don't mean by dumping buckets of sand on people….that's just strange." Said Suzuki
"It's done. I've been making people kiss, kind of like an extension of that making people hug thing that Mob does, only funnier." Said Hatori. Suzuki shook his head. He would never understand this person here for as long as he lived. They had holes, they had people, and they could put those people in holes. There. Simple. Like a timeout only for longer and sometimes he forgot to get those people out of the holes once they'd sufficiently thought about what they'd done.
"Don't do that. It's strange. You're strange." Said Suzuki
"Sure….I'm the weirdo here." Said Hatori
"Good. We agree. You're a very strange man…now get back to what you were doing and I'll get back to what I was doing and then everyone will be occupied…and don't touch anything, too, because your fingers are orange again…why you want to eat orange flavored chips I will never know." Said Suzuki. The armrest between them was orange and Hatori's sweater was orange and his pant legs were orange….and his fingertips were orange….and those damn orange chips that he was eating were, obviously, the culprit.
"They aren't orange flavored, they're nacho cheese flavored." Said Hatori
"No, I've had those and they do not taste like cheese. The flavor is difficult to describe so I named it after the color…a bit like blue…now please stop touching things. I swear…you're just like my son…" said Suzuki. Hatori's aura was odd there….well of course it was. He was always odd when it came to his age. He was little more than a child, young enough even to be Suzuki's son, and that was just the reality of the situation.
"Oh don't be like that. You're young enough to be my son. Accept it. We're friends but I'm still forty five and you're still twenty one." said Suzuki. Hatori was staring at him still….and he had no idea why…and now it felt awkward. His felt his own phone vibrate….but if he took it out then Hatori would be all nosy again….and he knew that he could have just sent Hatori to the other side of the plane but then Shigeko's absence would just have felt more pronounced. He…did not want to make it worse…even though she was gone and that was the reality of the situation….and he had to accept it…
Hatori's phone chimed. Thank God.
"Stop staring at me and answer your phone." Said Suzuki. He used his powers to get Hatori's phone from his pocket. He could have reached over and done it by hand…but Hatori might have taken that the wrong way, being a homosexual and all. He saw the world differently that Suzuki did…and sometimes things got lost between the way the two of them saw the world…
Like the way Hatori saw things between him and Fukuda.
Suzuki…well he had told Hatori something that he shouldn't have been talking about since he had been sworn to secrecy…but why should he stick to a promise that he had made to someone who left him? Someone who lied to him? Someone who betrayed him? Why should he have kept it to himself…it hadn't meant anything anyway. Suzuki was not a homosexual so there was nothing at all to what had happened between him and Fukuda and Hatori shouldn't have acted like there had been something to it.
He was a very strange man, Hatori, a very strange little man.
"Oh right….just let me….oh." said Hatori. He clicked something on his phone and then clicked it off. Well now it was Suzuki's turn to be nosy…and that was alright. He was the one in charge here and he could be as nosy as he wanted to be. He may not have been the best at reading faces but he could read auras and Hatori was being very cagey right now. He was sitting back and shaking his head…and now Suzuki had to know what was happening. It could have been something to do with work…or the group…or the children….or his daughter….both of his daughters….something could have gone wrong…
If something had gone wrong then he was fully prepared to kill the pilot and commandeer this plane…or ask them to turn the plane around….maybe the latter would have been easier than the former.
"What?" asked Suzuki. He may have been leaning in too close…but he was Touichirou Suzuki and he could do whatever he wanted to do including invading the personal space of others.
"Nothing." Said Hatori
"No, something. I can see your aura." Said Suzuki
"Alright. Mob just…she's hanging out with her friend and she posted some pictures on her Instagram. That's all. Nothing that you'd be interested in." said Hatori. Suzuki….well he would not be told what he would and would not be interested in. Shigeko…well she was forever taking pictures of herself for the internet…and he had never been able to understand it. That was a woman's game, picture taking, it had been his mother's game and then Masami's game…and now it was his daughter's…
He was no great lover of photography….but he was a great lover of Shigeko…and maybe it was about time he took a look at what it was, exactly, that the women of his life were constantly photographing.
"Show me. Now." Said Suzuki. He held out his hand. Hatori slowly handed him his phone…there was a flash of his aura and then his phone came to life. It was somehow greasy and sticky at the same time….and Suzuki did not want to be holding onto this phone…though not just because of the state that Hatori had left it in.
No, not only that.
There, on the screen, was a picture of Shigeko and Mukai…and Shigeko's annoying friend with the dyed hair. They were…oh…it was a serious of pictures. Mostly them in different outfits…women and clothes…and little girls too it seemed. Mukai…she was as small as Shigeko had been…and she seemed to be partial to the color red. Shigeko had been partial to pink…but she wasn't his by blood. He had also always been partial to red as well….that was something that they had in common…and of course they would have had something in common since they were father and daughter…and he focused on her and…and not what Shigeko was wearing….
Or what she wasn't wearing.
"What the hell…?" asked Suzuki. Shigeko was…where was the other half of that shirt?! That was…her entire stomach was exposed to the world! People could see her stomach! And she was wearing short pants…why was she wearing short pants? She never wore anything other than dresses and…and never anything that short and…and people could see her legs! People could look at her and think…he knew what men thought about women…and he knew what boys her age thought about girls…and he needed….he needed to save her from how terrible men could be…she had no idea what she was doing dressed like that!
"Yeah…I figured that you didn't want to see pictures of the baby so I just figured-" said Hatori as he took his phone out of Suzuki's hand…which had been the smart thing to do, really, because just….that was…he just…if this plane went down then maybe he would have gotten injured…and Hatori would have died….and he couldn't have that….
But he couldn't let Shigeko walk around half naked either.
"No, it isn't about that. It's about….Shigeko needs to find the other half of that shirt and….and I don't even know what I'm thinking." Said Suzuki
"You're thinking…that she's twelve and maybe she shouldn't be dressed like that? And other dad thoughts?" asked Hatori. Dad thoughts…that was a good word for it. If she hadn't been his daughter then he wouldn't have cared. He wouldn't have cared if she had been some random girl, like her little friend, but she was his and he did not need men thinking about her like that…and she did not need the end result of those thoughts…
Shigeko was old enough that men would be trying to have sex with her.
The thought of a man trying to use his daughter like that….he doesn't know how he manages not to send this plane careening to the ground. Suzuki…he wants…he wants her to be happy and he knows that women have the same needs that men do…but Shigeko is not allowed to have those needs and thoughts and just…all of that was for adults and she was not an adult! She was his daughter! She…she played with dolls and…and watched Disney movies and….and she was too young for any of that and…and he was going to find a telepath and…..and the telepath was going to follow her around and…and he would record the names and faces of all the men who had sexual thoughts about Shigeko….and then those people would be murdered…and then there would be another telepath to watch the first one and then they would report on one another…and…and there….it was settled….this was the sanest and most sound solution to this problem.
There. All was well. He just had to find some telepaths…how hard could that be?
"Yes…dad thoughts. You…you aren't aware of this, being a homosexual, but men…and boys her age…the thoughts that they have towards women are….disgusting…and I'm going to have Shigeko followed by two telepaths. They're going to scan the minds of any men around her and any men who have sexual thoughts towards my daughter will be murdered. There. Simple." Said Suzuki. He thought that this was a good idea…and it was. It was such a good idea that Hatori was taking off his glasses to…see….the idea…better….or something…
He didn't know about human behavior, he mostly know about parenting, torture, and world domination, so he would stick to that.
"Yeah…I used to be twelve and, yeah, twelve year olds are something else….but wouldn't it be easier to just call Mob and tell her not to wear those weird half shirt things? You know, instead of recruiting telepaths and having her followed and….you know…..the murders?" asked Hatori
"Hatori…you've never been a husband or a father but let me tell you…it is very dangerous ground….criticizing a woman's appearance." Said Suzuki. He almost shuddered at the memory of the raised voices….father rarely raised his voice to mother…but she had been wearing one of her very short dresses…which had been in style when he'd been small. Mother had always been a fan of very short dresses and skirts…and also she'd worn half shirts too…and these knitted shirts with fringe…he used to like to play with the fringe when he'd been very small. Mother…she had shouted at father when he ordered her to change into something more befitting of a wife and mother…and mother had shouted back that she would not dress like a nun just because she was married now…and that had been odd because nuns wore clothes that he had never even seen sold in stores….that whole argument had been so confusing….and the raised voices had been terrifying…..
It was very dangerous ground to criticize a woman's clothing.
"Well….I guess…but Mob's your kid and you're her dad…" said Hatori. Suzuki waited for him to finish that sentence. He didn't.
"Yes. I am aware of my relationship with my daughter. What's your point?" asked Suzuki
"My point is just…well….this is the most 'dad' thing that I've ever heard you say….telling Mob to put some clothes on. I mean she drinks and chain smokes and gets stoned all the time but….I don't know. This is just the most 'dad' that you've ever been….that I've seen." Said Hatori. He hated how Hatori used 'dad' as a verb. He didn't much want to get into a grammar lesson….or any other kind of lesson. Hatori was a child, not a parent, and he knew nothing of the difficult choices that a parent had to make. Difficult pragmatic choices.
"I don't see your point. She drinks and smokes and…well whatever that marijuana smoking machine is called…but none of that involves men imagining my daughter in sexual situations…and anyway I can't tell her to stop since…well she wouldn't listen and I know nothing about fashion….and women's clothing….and just…get back to your game. It's July now. Winter is coming…and then the matter of the tiny shirt will be closed." Said Suzuki
"But….winter's not coming for another-" said Hatori
"The matter is closed." Said Suzuki. He turned away from Hatori and looked out the window. He stared at the sky as it went by. He ignored Hatori's attempts to get his attention. Closed meant closed. The matter was closed and…and there was nothing that he could do. He had never lived this way before, with so much of his life out of his control, but that was the reality of this situation and…and there was nothing that he could do about it now so…so he just went along for the ride…
Shigeko's absence was felt…acutely….but he had no idea what he would have done if she had been there…so for the first time in his life he was passive…..and it did not suit him at all…