THE DEPARTED

Chapter Eight

Padme's face lifted to look him in the eyes. Her expression crumbled under the weight of her tears and she began to tremble in his arms. He drew him closer to her and brushed his lips against her cheek.

"Padme…" He whispered again. "Marry me…"

She buried her face in his tunic and began to sob uncontrollably. How could she refuse him? He was only person she truly cared about and she didn't know how she could hurt him in this way. Her heart was breaking because she knew what she had to do. It was killing her to do it, but there was nothing else that could be done.

"Anakin…I…I can't."

He froze, unable to comprehend what she had just uttered. His eyes closed briefly, making every effort possible to find some way to convince himself that she hadn't just said that. But she had…

"I…I can't…why? Padme, why can't you?"

The hurt and disappointment in his eyes was unbearable for her to take because she knew that she was the cause of it. She untangled herself from his arms and slowly walked to the other side of the room, feeling an unnerving need to distance herself from him.

"I'm sorry, Anakin. I can't let you do this just because of me. You have a destiny as the Chosen One and I can't let you throw that away."

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "That's not important to me. You and our baby are the only things that matter now. All I want is for us to be together and to be a family."

She shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry. That's not possible."

He stood up angrily and advanced on her. "Of course it is! All we have to do is leave. It's that simple. Then we can live our lives together and raise our child. We're going to be expelled from the Order anyways, Padme. I don't understand why you can't see this."

"No, I'm going to be expelled not you."

His feet rooted to the floor as her words echoed in his head. No…she couldn't…

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm not going to let you be expelled. You're too important to the Jedi Order. Someday, you're going to have to fulfill your destiny and I'm not going to stand in your way."

"And how do you expect to do that?"

She looked at him for a brief moment and said simply: "I'm going to say you're not the father."

His face fell and he began to shake his head furiously. "No…I'll never allow that. You can't do that. You have no right to do that. Besides, Padme, I want to be there and I can't let you put all the responsibility on yourself because I have a part in this too."

"I don't care, Anakin. If you say that you are the father, I'm just going to say that you're lying to protect me. The Council isn't going to know who to believe and since you're the Chosen One, I think they'd rather expel me than both of us."

"Don't throw that in my face! I don't care about being the Chosen One, I never have. I don't want that destiny and I don't want that life. I want to be with you, Padme. Why can't you understand that?"

"Why can't you understand that this is what I want? I can't let you throw everything away. If I wasn't pregnant, you wouldn't be saying that you wanted to be with me, you would be perfectly content to just carry on like we did on Naboo."

Anakin's fists clenched in anger and he had to restrain himself from putting one of them through the wall. "First of all, don't make it sound like you don't want the baby. I know you do, no matter what you say. Secondly, what makes you think that I haven't wanted to be with you from the moment I first saw you? What makes you think that I still wouldn't give everything up to be with you…baby or no baby? I lo…"

She hurriedly placed her hand over his mouth to stop him. "No, please don't say it."

He sighed and felt the anger slip away to be replaced only with sadness. Her hand moved away from him mouth and he quickly caught it with his own hand and kissed it lightly.

"I just don't understand why you don't want this. Why won't you just let yourself be happy? Why won't you let me know our child and let our child know its father? We could be so happy together, Padme…just you, me, and our baby…we can leave Coruscant right now and never look back. I know I've dreamed of becoming a great Jedi for as long as I can remember, but Padme, I have a new dream now. Don't you know that I would do anything for you, give anything to make you happy?"

Her lips trembled as she desperately tried to keep a calm composure. She anxiously sat down on a nearby chair and stroked her abdomen lightly, his words starting to get to her. It would be so easy to do exactly what he said, just leave, never look back, and live their lives together. She knew he was right about their child; it deserved to know its father and she would be taking so much away from them both, but she didn't know what else to do. Anakin's proposal was so tempting and looking at him now, he seemed so desperate to do anything to keep her with him. But she knew she couldn't do that. She would be robbing both Anakin and the rest of the galaxy if she did. Anakin had a place in a galaxy and a destiny to fulfill. She couldn't take that away from him, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Anakin, the only thing you can do that will make me happy is to let me do this on my own."

He sighed and stared at the ceiling for several moments. How did this happen? How did he let things get this far? He couldn't control what he felt for her, but he also knew that he couldn't control her either. He turned his gaze to her face and immediately noticed her determined stare. She wasn't giving in. Maybe she never would.

"All I want is for us to be together, Padme. But if that isn't what you want…I can't force you. I don't like this and I don't know if I can stand by and not admit that I'm the father. I want to be by your side through all of this and I don't want you to be alone and I don't want our child to never know its father. But something tells me that I'm not going to talk you out of this and if I try to stop you, you'll just find a way to do it anyways. So I'll stand by and do what you ask because I know there's nothing else I can do."

She nodded gratefully and quickly pulled him into her embrace. "Thank you. We're going the right thing, you know."

He didn't respond, his entire focus resting on holding her in his arms with the knowledge that this may well be the last time and their last moment alone together. Once she released him, he started towards the door.

"It'll probably look bad if we arrive at the Council together, so I'm going to go find Obi-Wan. Take your time…I'm sure you have a lot to thing about."

She nodded, desperately fighting the tears that threatened to fall. She sat back down and starting to become immersed in her thoughts when Anakin's soft voice interrupted her:

"Do you regret it?"

She stared back at him for a few moments before answering. "Regret what?"

He smiled softly and replied simply: "Us."

She smiled back and walked over to him carefully, taking his face in her hands. "No, I don't regret it for a second. Even though we can't be together, I'll always have a part of you with me and that's going to have to be enough."

A lone tear fell down his cheek and she brushed it away gently. He took her hand in his and kissed it softly then he was gone. Now, she was really alone.