Shimazaki was feeling a distinct lack of Toshi in his life.
Which was the absolute fucking worst thing in the world. Toshi was like his jacket. They were always there, they made him feel better, and they always had drugs of some kind in them. Also they were warm and made him feel safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to him again. Like he was there and he had on this second skin and the second skin was made of leather and it could keep him from getting kicked in the back with a steel toed boot….or maybe cleats? Cleats with steel toes and…knives? Knives at the end…and…spurs? Spurs hurt…he'd never been kicked by them but he'd imagined that they hurt. He'd been kicked with a high heeled shoe before…that had hurt…but which would hurt more?
"Hey, Shibata?" asked Shimazaki as he put down Toshi's pipe. They hadn't packed that well when they left. He knew it was theirs by the ridges on the side and the chip near the bowl. They needed a new one. They could have taken his. He had a new one, he was constantly breaking these, and they could have had it if they needed a new one…
But then again they weren't really good at throwing things away.
"If this is about Minegishi again can you keep it to yourself?" asked Shibata from his spot on the couch. He either really liked couches or he was really opposed to sharing a bed with Shimazaki. What? It couldn't have possibly been that bad. Sure they'd hooked up once but that had been years ago…and it hadn't been that bad. If Shimazaki'd had a chance to learn his body then it would have been better and he was totally ready to try again!
That is unless Shibata protested…which he had.
"No, this is not about Toshi. This is about which would hurt worse? Getting kicked in the back with a high heeled shoe or getting kicked in the back with some extra sharp high heeled cleats with knives and spurs." Said Shimazaki. He could feel himself being stared at. He didn't care. He was good looking and he knew it. Lots of people stared at him. Hell, Mob stared at him sometimes. He didn't care who stared…but he did wish that Toshi had been there to stare.
It would have been a hell of a lot nicer than having Shibata stare at him like that.
"….you're way too high and I am not going to babysit you." Said Shibata with a shake of his head. He went back to whatever he had been doing on the couch. Shimazaki could heard the rustling of paper, some kind of squeaking, and the smell of a magic marker. He hadn't huffed one of those since he'd been about seven or eight…and there were so many better ways to get high…
But, hey, he was on vacation.
"Give me a turn with that." Said Shimazaki as he reached for the magic marker. The whole couch shifted as Shibata pulled it away from him. There was the rustling of paper again. It was a good sound…they were all good sounds, really. The hum of the TV, the footsteps above him, the never ending whoosh of the air conditioner. This was a nice place, it had good…what was the word? Ambiance? Atmosphere? Toshi would have known, they knew a lot of words.
And in seven different languages, too.
"No." said Shibata as he held the marker high above Shimazaki's head. Fuck him just because he was tall and shit…Shimazaki was tall too and he didn't go lording it over people…well accept for Sho and Mukai.
"Please? I need it." Said Shimazaki as he reached up. He could have teleported, of course, but he was comfortable here. The softness of the couch, the perfect duet of Shibata's body hear and the overachieving air conditioner. The only things that would have made this more perfect would have been having Toshi there to make him the bread in this sandwich, some of the caramel fudge they had at Disney World, and also a marker to inhale from until he killed off his last remaining brain cells.
"For what? You can't read or write." Said Shibata
"I can read, just not like you, and I can write. I mean I'm bad at it but I can do it….and anyway what does any of that have to do with the magic marker in your hand?" asked Shimazaki
"….yeah, you are way too high right now. Go and lay down or….something. I don't know. Just don't bother me. I have work to do." Said Shibata
"If inhaling whatever chemical it was in markers that made you feel like you were full of the stuff inside of balloons is work then call me President Suzuki." Said Shimazaki
"Helium." Said Shibata
"What's that?" asked Shimazaki
"The stuff that makes balloons float." Said Shibata
"You mean air?" asked Shimazaki
"No, I meant helium. That's what makes balloons float." Said Shibata
"No, that's the stuff in whip-its." Said Shimazaki
"What? No, whip-its are nitrous oxide." Said Shibata
"What in the hell is nitrous oxide?" asked Shimazaki
"The stuff that makes whipped cream come out of the dispensers. That's why they're called whip-its." Said Shibata
"I think I know more about whip-its than you at this point in my life." Said Shimazaki
"Well I've worked in a kitchen before...and anyway how did we even get here?" asked Shibata. That was a damn good question. How had he gotten here? How had anyone gotten there? Why did people exist? Why did people make more people? Why did…no, he wasn't supposed to be this existential. Toshi didn't do existential and neither did he. It was boring as hell…and he did not do boring.
"Mob wanted to go to Disney World, well Mukai wanted to go and Mob wanted to make her happy, so we all got on a plane and came here…well not all of us. Toshi decided to fuck off back to Japan…and that's fine. I don't own them. They can travel wherever they want to. It's just nice to leave a note or something…so a guy doesn't have to come home to an empty bed. I mean it's not like I'm not used to it…or maybe I'm not. Toshi…I'm so fucking used to Toshi and they're gone-" said Shimazaki
"Please, no more. You spent the past hour talking about Minegishi and, listen, I'm sorry that they went off without you and I know that you love them but it's been days. You know that you're going to see them again now, please, let me work…and no, I am not inhaling marker chemicals or whatever. I'm trying to plan out our day at Disney World together." Said Shibata
"That sounds boring as hell. Just let Mukai pick what we're going to do. She's a fun kid." Said Shimazaki
"It's better if we have a plan now please just…go sit on the bed or something." Said Shibata. He pointed at the bed like Shimazaki didn't know where it was. Of course he could sense the big, empty, rectangle in the middle of the room. If Toshi had been there they would have said that it was too hard, the springs dug into their back, and it was too small for the both of them…but of course that was because he liked to hold them. Crowd them, like they said….and yeah, maybe he did crowd them. They were Toshi. They were small and warm and they smelled good…and also they were the best spooner in the world. Shimazaki knew. He'd spooned a hell of a lot of people in his lifetime and Toshi was the best. They just…fit…there.
They were a good fit.
They were just small enough that he could hold them comfortably but not so small that he crushed them. There was such a thing as too small to be a little spoon. Like a soup spoon and one of those little spoons that came with fancy tea sets…the kind that you were supposed to use with sugar. Like a Mob sized spoon. Mob seemed like she would have been fun to hold, she was soft and sweet and shit, but Toshi…well Toshi was Toshi and he couldn't imagine a better spoon than Toshi.
They were good for pudding, soup, and ice cream too,
"Hey, you want to spoon?" asked Shimazaki
"What in the…no." said Shibata
"You sure? I'll let you be the big spoon. I mean there no other spoon that you can be. It's like I'm a soup spoon and you're a ladle or something…is a ladle a spoon? Or is it something else? What even counts as a spoon? Like, if I figured out how to eat pudding with a fork would that make a fork a spoon? And where do sporks come into this equation?" asked Shimazaki. He was being stared at again…and not in the good way. The was nothing around him but the sound of ambiance or atmosphere or one of those other big, Toshi would have probably known, words.
"…you need to stop smoking. Really. I don't want to have to babysit you and you are getting to the point at which you're going to need to be babysat." Said Shibata. Shimazaki did not need to be babysat…but Shibata did have a point. Being so far from Toshi…well that meant that he was going to have to ration what he had. Either that or steal from Mob...but Mob wasn't an infinite source either…well she could have been if Toshi had taught her all that they knew…but they hadn't…so maybe the time had come to maybe slow down with it.
"You're right." Said Shimazaki before he teleported off of the couch and over to his bag of fun stuff. He felt around until he found a sandwich bag full of part of his last birthday present. Mob must have spent millions on him last year even though she hadn't had to. She was a good person like that. She always thought about other people. Like…if she was going to just up and disappear one day she would have at least left him a note or something. That was just common courtesy between friends…and if friend could do that a partner could too.
Toshi was Toshi and he was not going to get pissed at Toshi.
What he was going to do, however, was a shit ton of coke until he couldn't even remember who Toshi was…wait….no. He didn't want to forget them, he loved them more than life its self, but he just…there was this spot inside of himself that Toshi would have taken up if they were there. Not in the sense that they would have fucked him, they had to be in a REALLY good mood to put in that kind of work, but more in the sense that he…missed them….well of course he missed them! He loved them! And they loved him.
There was no doubt about it.
He couldn't let himself have doubts. Doubts were what killed relationships. When a person doubted…when a person doubted another person then…then it was like he was saying 'Toshi doesn't love me.' And there was no worse thought than that of Toshi not loving him. He loved them, he had been in love enough times to know what it felt like, and he knew that they loved him too…even if they had gone all the way to Japan to get away from him.
Think coke thoughts, Ryou, think coke thoughts.
"What do you think you're doing?" asked Shibata as Shimazaki dug around in his fun stuff for the card he'd used to divide this up. Some credit card he'd stolen a while back. Good feel in his hands, good grip, and it cut clean lines. Not like the time he'd tried to use a business card and only ended up making a mess that he'd had to pick up out of the carpet individually….and he'd mostly gotten carpet debris that time…
And nobody in the history of ever had ever gotten high off of carpet debris.
"Coke. You want some?" asked Shimazaki. Sharing was caring after all. What was the point of having coke unless you had friends to share it with? Well you could hoard all the coke for yourself and feel like the king of the world until you either died or ran out of coke…but what was the point of being the king of the world unless you had someone to share it with? Even Suzuki agreed with him, that was why Hatori was his new bestie for life and probably weird sex stuff too.
"Of course not! And why are you even….I just said that I didn't want to babysit you and now you're doing that?" asked Shibata
"But you like babysitting…and I don't need you to babysit me. I can take care of myself. I'm blind, not Serizawa." said Shimazaki
"It's not about you being blind…and lay off of Serizawa. He has a serious condition." Said Shibata
"Fine, I'm not Hatori then." Said Shimazaki
"Hatori can actually take care of himself better than you can." Said Shibata
"Really, him? The guy who couldn't handle his MDMA, asked Toshi if he could eat them, pissed in a sink, and spent the rest of the day hiding in the bathroom bitching and moaning about how 'ashamed' he was? That Hatori?" asked Shimazaki
"You-You're the one who poisoned him!" said Shibata
"You say poisoned, I say drugged without his consent." Said Shimazaki
"That's exactly what poisoning someone is!" said Shibata. Huh. Well when he put it like that then it made perfect sense. Well whatever. He'd done worse to people. Hatori was fine, well he was currently stuck with President Suzuki probably
"Now, now, it takes two…whatever this is. One person to blame the other person and one person to do something that, at the time, was actually a very funny and well thought out-" said Shimazaki
"Can't you go do that somewhere else? And bother someone else? If you do that here then I'm going to have to keep you from doing something stupid or Mob's going to be upset, and I can't think of anything worse, so please just…go somewhere else….but leave Serizawa alone! He's stressed enough as it is!" said Shibata
"Fine, I don't go where I'm not wanted!" said Shimazaki, which was a total lie. He did go where he wasn't wanted…in fact those were his favorite places to go. What could be more exciting than going to a place where at any second he could feel a loaded gun in his face…or some mace…heh. He made rhymes…but no time to laugh about it now! He had to get the fuck out of there. Not because he wasn't wanted, no, but because it was so fucking BORING in there.
Seriously.
He needed to go to someone who was fun all the time…and could be made even more fun! Sho! Sho was the most fun person that Shimazaki had ever met…and also his all time bestie! And yes, he was going to use that word. Sho was his little bestie and he was only a short trip away…and he loved uppers too! Well he hadn't been able to handle his Molly….but that was back when there had been that big, unspoken, crush between them….and since that crush had not only been spoken of but also marched deep into the woods and shot dead….things were going to be great!
Well they would have been if Sho hadn't been asleep.
"Shimazaki! Shh! Don't wake Sho…or the hamsters, too." Said Mob. She stage whispered it, which was pretty much just talking but breathier. If Sho had been planning on waking up then he would have….but he was fast asleep! God fucking damn it! What? Was the universe against him? Why? For all the people he killed? For all the shit he stole? For the drugs he took? For all of that extramarital sex he'd had? Well…that would have made perfect sense.
That is if the universe cared.
He didn't know if the universe even gave a damn about him. He didn't know who or what God or the Gods were exactly, or if they were even real, but if they had been real then he didn't want to fuck with them…but if they were real then they wouldn't have cared what one insignificant little person did against them. He didn't matter. He was just a speck of infinite dust in the cosmos. He wasn't even supposed to exist. If things had gone just a little bit differently he would have been drowned in a bucket the day he'd been born. But things had gone this way and now he was here and he was alive and he was a pretty damn powerful esper…and also he had a sandwich bag full of coke and nobody to share it with.
Well…Mob wasn't nobody.
"Hamsters are nocturnal…but, anyway, let's do coke." Said Shimazaki. He felt her staring at him…and not her usual 'puberty is a bitch' sort of staring. This was her 'what the fuck' staring which was a lot like everyone else's 'what the fuck' staring. Her aura was pretty much saying 'what the fuck' over and over again like a broken record.
Which was alright. Broken records could be fixed…and Mob loved coke.
"What?!" asked Mob. That time it was loud enough to make Sho stir…and piss off some hamsters, too. They sure could squeak, sort of like rats but deeper. Like they were deep vice little things. Like they were compensating for the fact that they were a hell of a lot smaller than rats. Did rodents have size envy? Or were they too busy eating and fucking? Was that just what their lives were? Eating and fucking? Fucking and eating?
That sounded pretty great, actually.
"Not so loud, you'll wake Sho and the hamsters." Whispered Shimazaki
"What?" asked Mob again, this time much more quietly.
"Do you want to do coke with me?" asked Shimazaki as he teleported closer to Mob. She was kneeling at the table doing something…hopefully nothing as boring as planning out just what tomorrow would bring. That was so dumb. Life was to live, not plan for!
"I…can't." said Mob after a minute. She hung her head low, he could hear her hair moving. Her hair was down….she had a lot of it. Way more than Toshi did. He reached out and lifted some of it so he could watch it fall back down. It was heavy. Soft too, way softer than Toshi's…he wondered how Toshi got their hair that way. All kind of course. He liked that…he liked that a lot…and he wished…well he wished for a lot of things but right now he wished that Toshi had been there and that they'd had hair as long as Mob's but with their texture and…and also he really wanted Toshi to have been there because they loved coke!
And him. They loved him.
"What are you doing?" asked Mob as he played with her hair. The hair on the back of her neck was shorter than the hair on her head…but also way softer. Maybe because these were short baby hairs. He ran his hand across the back of her neck. Yup, those were short baby hairs. Baby hairs were always the shortest and the softest…especially Toshi's. He wished that they let their baby hair grow into adult hair before they colored it. He had no idea what coloring it was but he knew that it changed the texture…and he liked the texture of their colored hair…but also he liked the texture of their baby hair…he liked all of them. Every single thing about Minegishi Toshiki was something that he loved….
But they were gone.
But Mob was here. She was here and she was nice and she was always up for a good time. Maybe he needed to stop touching her, though. He could feel her getting warmer and he could hear her aura. Right. She was twelve and she wasn't thinking. He wondered why she didn't just hook up with someone to get everything out of her system. She was way too keyed up…well in a horny way, not a coked up sort of way. She really needed a guy in her life, or whatever she was into. She was nice and she smelled good and she was a powerful esper and he assumed that she was pretty. She sounded like she was pretty. Who in the hell wouldn't have wanted to be with her?
Mob was awesome and anyone who couldn't see that…well he did not want to switch places with them.
"Shimazaki?" asked Mob. Oh, right, he was still touching her. Time to stop in three…two…..one…ok. He let go of her…and now he needed something else to pet? Where was that cat…he looked for it…curled up in bed with Mukai. Well he sure and hell wasn't going to wake her up. No, he'd heard enough of her crying during the daytime…and also Tsuchiya would probably kick his ass for waking Mukai up and he did not want to have to deal with that.
"Yeah?" asked Shimazaki
"Why were you doing that?" asked Mob
"Because your hair is incredibly soft and I like petting you like a cat…and also Toshi isn't around so I have nobody to pet or do coke with." Said Shimazaki
"Oh…well if you're lonely then you can pet me I guess….but I can't do coke with you. I promised Minegishi that I wouldn't ever do coke with you again." said Mob
"When did you promise Toshi that?" asked Shimazaki
"When we did coke together on the Christmas party…the first one." said Mob
"Well that was ten years ago. You're an adult now and you can make your own choices…now chose to do coke with me." Said Shimazaki
"But it was two years ago…and I'm twelve now…but do you really think that I'm an adult?" asked Mob. Shimazaki…well he had to think about that one…for about ten seconds.
"You're you and that's what matters. You're a hell of a lot smarter than the rest of us, you're good at keeping things together, and you're the fucking vice president of Claw. Who gives a fuck if you're twelve, you're Suzuki Shigeko, and if Suzuki Shigeko wants to do coke with me then who in the hell is going to stop her." said Shimazaki. He maybe had been whispering too quietly, he did that sometimes. Not everyone heard as well as he did. He was really close to her, though, close enough that he could hear her breathing…it was a good sound, she was good at breathing….well of course she was. If she had been bad at breathing then she wouldn't have been alive.
And if she hadn't been alive, like she had dropped dead, from forgetting how to breathe then he would have been really sad since she was Mob and stuff…and also he wouldn't have had anyone to have fun with…anyone awake, anyway.
"Minegishi would probably stop me." Said Mob. She said that like Toshi was around to stop her from doing anything. Well they weren't, they had left without so much as a goodbye, and in doing so then they had forfeited the right to tell anyone to do anything….and also they would have wanted him to be happy, and Mob too, since they loved them both….in different ways, honestly.
"That's true…but Toshi isn't here…and even if they had been here then they would have wanted you to be happy above all other things…even that weird idea that they have about how hard drugs are bad for you. I mean, ok, it's easy to fuck up but that's just if you don't know your limits and I know that you know your limits." Said Shimazaki
"Ok…um…I never looked at it that way. If Minegishi isn't going to be mad at me…or you…then it's ok." Said Mob. Shimazaki…well he knew for a fact that Toshi was going to be pissed at him for this…but there was no reason that they had to know. It wasn't like they shared everything with him after all. How long, again, had it taken for them to tell him about Matsuo? And also there was the matter of their surprise trip back home without him or anyone else…
Toshi didn't tell him everything so he didn't have to tell Toshi everything.
"Cool. Ok, now clear off this table so I have space to work." Said Shimazaki. Mob did just as he asked. She picked everything up with her powers and putting it all, gently, on the floor. Sounded like Disney World junk judging by the smell and sound of plastic bags. He wondered how much junk they needed…but then again he wasn't one to talk. He must have eaten his weight in that fudge…but fudge was ok because it was a food and it was different or something when it was a food…or something. He wasn't sure, not completely, maybe he would have been more sure if he'd found anything else that appealed to him.
You held one piece of plastic you held them all.
Pieces of plastic, stuffed animals, t-shirts….he hadn't found anything that appealed to him….though there had been some very soft shirts. He mostly bought his clothes by how they felt. Toshi was the one who knew what color things were. They mostly made him wear black, they said, it was one of his best colors. Black or red. He wondered if there had been any black or red shirts…and he wondered if there had been anything there that he would have liked…or that Toshi would have liked. They were always getting new shirts….and he had been told that they had a good collection going…maybe they would have liked a shirt….
But if they'd wanted a shirt then they could have come with….or at least told him that they wouldn't be coming with and…and then he could have planned on getting them a new shirt...or something.
He didn't want to think about them. He did nothing but think about them…and it hurt…and it made him sad….and the last thing that he wanted in his life was to be sad. There was nothing more boring than being sad. Being sad was even more boring than being bored. At least when you were bored then you had the drive to do something…so maybe he could turn that sadness into boredom and then use that as drive to do…something. Something productive.
Like doing coke with Mob. He couldn't think of anything more productive than that.
"Can you do that more quietly? I don't want Sho to wake up. If he wakes up then he's going to want some and I don't want him to do this." said Mob as Shimazaki divided up some lines with whoever's credit card this was.
"Why not? Sho likes stimulants." Said Shimazaki
"You…didn't give him any of this…right? Before, I mean." Said Mob. She actually seemed scared there…and he had no idea why. Sho could do whatever he wanted to do. He was his own person after all…and also Mob was being kind of a little hypocrite there. She couldn't just go and tell Sho that he couldn't do something that she herself had done. That was ridiculous…and also it made no sense. Sure Sho was beyond clingy and annoying when he was on uppers of any kind, and also when he was stoned, and drunk, but that was no reason to bar the kid from having fun.
"He got into my desk once but he never got into the coke. Why do you care, anyway? If you ask me that's more than a little bit hypocritical of you…and don't be a hypocrite. I can't stand hypocrites. They're boring as hell." Said Shimazaki
"What's a hypocrite?" asked Mob
"Someone who does one thing and then tells other people that it's wrong." Said Shimazaki
"I…don't think that it's wrong, he just doesn't need to. He can control his powers better than I can so he doesn't need to do this kind of stuff." Said Mob
"But…we're doing this for fun. Or at least I am. Your life is your own and your motivations are your own and I don't get a say in them. Everyone is the master of his own destiny. Let a smile be your umbrella." Said Shimazaki
"What?" asked Mob
"I got all of that off of a fortune cookie. There is great wisdom in the cookie…very great wisdom. Look to the cookie, Mob, and all will be revealed." Said Shimazaki
"But…we don't have any fortune cookies." Said Mob
"You're right, we don't have any fortune cookies but we do have coke. Now Mob, would you do me the honor of doing the first line?" asked Shimazaki as he motioned towards the table. Powdery stuff like that was kind of hard to focus on, to sense, but he did his best…and also how hard was it, really, to divide up a few lines of coke? It wasn't like he was messing around with something dangerous like…well he didn't even have anything dangerous on him so it didn't matter.
Coke wasn't dangerous…well Toshi would have thought that it was…but Toshi could be kind of a worrywart sometimes.
"But…isn't that too much? Last time you only gave me a little…and it felt like a lot." Said Mob. Shimazaki racked his brain…right, he had only given her a bump that night. Well that was then and this was now and now she could have as many lines as she wanted….as many lines as wouldn't end up killing her, yeah, the last thing he wanted was a dead friend. He'd lost enough of those, over the years, to last him a lifetime.
"You are officially old enough to do as many lines of coke as you want. Now either you start snorting this coke or I start snorting this coke or I wake Sho up and ask him to start snorting this coke…but he gets bumps because he can't handle his…anything." Said Shimazaki
"No! No, I mean…um…I can do this. So it's just like the bump from before only…longer?" asked Mob. What a dumb question of course…wait…she hadn't ever done this before. Right? She had only done a bump before…aww. She was so cute. It was hard to remember, sometimes, how young she really was…and how slow she lived. Shimazaki had decided, as soon as he'd realized that he had the power to decide, that he was going to lead a fast life and let everyone else die slow.
And it was time Mob really started living by his example.
"Youre so fucking cute sometimes…ok. Watch me. You just snort it all like….this. Are you watching? Keep on watching." Said Shimazaki before he hunched down and did a line of coke…well as best as he could. He wasn't best at sensing where it was but the vast majority of it went up his nose and into his brain.
It was perfect.
He rubbed his tongue against the roof of his mouth almost immediately after he was done. That was always how it started. He didn't know why he did this…and he didn't have to explain himself to anyone! He didn't have to explain a single thing that he did! He could just be…he could just exist! He could just exist in the world as himself! No excuses, no reasons, no nothing! Just him in the world all on his own!
With Mob, of course.
She was holding her hair back with one hand while she leaned over the table. He took her hair for her, it was the least he could do. He could do whatever he wanted…and this was what he wanted to do! He wanted to hold her hair back while she did a line of coke…her hair was so soft. He could have held onto it all day. It wasn't Toshi's hair but it was nice and…and he was didn't have to explain himself to ANYONE! Not even himself!
And he needed to stop being such a nosy jerk, too, he was starting to get sick of himself.
"…it burns more than before." Said Mob as she lifted her head from the table. He reached over and wiped her nose. She was sniffling a lot, like she had a cold, but she didn't have a cold. What she did have, however, was a hell of a lot of coke on her face…right. Mob was a baby at this. He reached into his pockets until he found one of their paper monies. He had no idea how much this was worth, all of their money was the same size, but he knew what this would be perfect for.
He hadn't had to do it like this since he'd been a kid.
"Here, this might help. Watch." Said Shimazaki. Ok….it was a hell of a lot easier with a rolled up whatever denomination this was, note…but he wasn't a kid and he could do this like an adult…or whatever…or he could do whatever he wanted to do! Yeah, like this! He could do a line….and then another line…and then…well he left the last line for Mob. She deserved it. She was always so nice to him…and she was so thoughtful too. She had gotten this for him. She had remembered where Kai lived, she had gone to that neighborhood on her own, and she had spent millions on him for his birthday. Mob was…she was something special.
"Here, you get the last line." Said Shimazaki as he handed her the money. She took it from him and, with some hesitation, snorted a line of coke like a pro…or a very dedicated amateur. She wiped her nose afterwards a few times. Her toes were tapping against the rug. Her fingers were twitching. She wasn't running her tongue against the roof of her mouth but she was certainly starting to feel it.
Good.
"You feeling it yet, Mob?" whispered Shimazaki as Sho turned over and muttered something about more hamsters. Shimazaki didn't see why he needed more of them, especially since he could sense them making new hamsters right now, but Sho was himself and if he wanted the floor to be alive with hamsters then the floor was going to be alive with hamsters...or whatever it was that he was dreaming about. Shimazaki didn't know, he wasn't Little Nemo and he had no idea how to get to Slumberland, but…well he could go wherever he wanted to go and he could do whatever he wanted to do…and if he wanted to go to Slumberland then he could!
"Mob, let's go to Slumberland." Said Shimazaki as Mob picked at a thread in her dress. She was twitching in place again, or maybe she hadn't stopped. This sort of full body twitching that he hadn't done in years….because his tolerance had been lower…like hers was now. Right. He had maybe fucked up…in a way that may have been serious….in a way that maybe Toshi would have called him an idiot for fucking up in….
No!
He knew what he was doing. The full body twitches would pass and then he and Mob could have had fun like they had the first time they had done coke together. They had wandered through the city and drank milk and gotten laid…well she had drank milk and he had gotten laid…but he could drink milk if he wanted to! And she could get laid if she wanted to! This was a free country…right?
That was one of those things that Toshi would have known.
"Is that like Disneyland? Because I-I want to go to Disneyland…but we can't because it's closed and I'm in my pajamas." Said Mob. She was still twitching out all over the place…but that didn't mean anything! She was fine. She was fine and of sound enough mental state to bestow onto him a VERY GOOD IDEA!
The best idea that she'd had since she suggested that they do lines of coke together.
"Mob, you're a genius. Ok, now we have a plan. I can't believe that I did this without a plan….I mean, seriously. Ok planning is boring as fuck, I should know I'm rooming with Shibata, but I should have had a plan. What's the point of being on coke if we aren't going to be doing anything?" asked Shimazaki
"I don't know…and talk quieter….and it's closed so we can't go there. If a place is closed that means that no visitors are allowed…and also…and also I'm in my pajamas and I can't go out in just my pajamas. I mean I've seen people doing that…but I can't do that." Said Mob
"Two things my friend, two things. The first of which being that I can teleport which means that I can go wherever I want whenever I want. Secondly you can just put on new clothes, can't you? At least one of those suitcases has to be full of clothes." Said Shimazaki as he pointed to the pile of suitcases that took up a corner of the room. At least they felt like suitcases…they were rectangular and had stuff in them…he didn't know. The world was kind of….fuzzy…right now. The world had this….cling wrap….or something around it…like cling wrap but with fuzzy mold around it…but in a good way…and also his face was numb…so maybe that was the cling wrap too? No, that was the coke…he was fine…and Mob was fine too…even if she was making the building shake a little….and her aura sounded like an air raid siren…
Yeah. They needed to get the fuck out of there.
"I-I have clothes-" said Mob
"Then change and come on, before you wake your brother up." Said Shimazaki. That was the thing to light a fire under Mob's ass. She jumped right up and ran over to her suitcase. She tripped over one of the habitrails but caught herself with her powers…which was good because he wasn't sure if he was in any state to teleport over and catch her. He needed a second, just a second, to get his bearings…and to stop licking the top of his mouth. Yeah, it was there, and it felt good against his tongue…but so did a lot of things. Right now he just needed to focus and to ground himself…and to see. He couldn't see past that table…not clearly…and outside of this room might as well have been a passage to the Twilight Zone or something. He took a breath and centered himself.
Mind's eye.
Now he could see, well sense, everything. Sho was in the deepest part of sleep, his eyes were moving behind his eyelids as fast as they could. There were hamsters all around him in their little homes and tunnels. A few of them were pregnant, even, Sho was going to be so happy later on. He was happy now, he was smiling. So was Mob. She had gone to the bathroom to change…and he had no idea why. It wasn't like he could see her. People were pretty much always naked to him, anyway, he was used to it. It wasn't like he cared one way or another. Besides, Mob knew what he thought of her. He had no idea what was so embarrassing about it, though, but he wasn't her. He was only himself and he could only speak for himself.
Though if he had been a girl then he would have loved it if people told him that he had nice tits.
He would have, of course, because if he was good looking as a guy then he would be good looking as girl, too, and he would have wanted everyone to tell him so…or maybe just Toshi. Yeah, Toshi compliments were the best kind of compliments because they meant them. Toshi had never been free with compliments, not like the kind of people who said whatever just to butter you up and get you into bed. First of all he didn't need to be buttered up, unless it was with actual butter, and he'd go to bed with just about everyone. Sex was fun and he liked to have fun. Well sex with Toshi transcended the concept of fun…but Toshi was gone…but they were here and he had been a girl then they definitely would have told him that he had nice tits and he would have returned the compliment, too.
Because, really. Toshi's tits were perfection.
It was like someone had taken two kiwis and shaved them…and also put them inside of a human being. They were the perfect size, two handfuls, and they were just as soft as the rest of them. Fuck Fukuda and that time he'd run his mouth about Toshi's tits. They were perfect! And fuck him for making Toshi feel back about their body! And fuck him for making Mob feel bad about her body too! Mob was still on the young side, and she was no Toshi, but she was still damn near perfection! Her tits were damn near perfection and her skin was damn near perfection and her hair was damn near perfection and she was nice and thoughtful and loving…well those weren't body things but still, she was nice and thoughtful and loving! She was damn near perfection and you didn't meet someone like her every day.
Mob was really something special.
"You're really something special, you know that?" said Shimazaki softly, soft enough to be heard but also soft enough that he didn't wake Sho, as Mob crept out of the bathroom.
"Thanks, this is a new dress…wait. You can't see me…well you can…but you can't see what I'm wearing." Said Mob
"I didn't say that your dress was something special, I said that you were something special…now come on. Disneyland or world or whatever awaits!" said Shimazaki. He got up, too her by the arm, and teleported away. It took…a few tries…to get to Disney whatever. He had been there before but not while it was empty. If there had been a massive amount of people there then he would have just teleported to where the massive amount of people were…but since it was empty he had to approximate where the massive amount of people would have been.
It took three tries.
The first try brought him to what felt like an empty parking lot. A hell of a lot of nothing, a few cars, and the smell of blacktop everywhere. That hadn't been right. The second try had brought him to what he assumed was a beach. Sand under his feet, the smell of the ocean, water forming a nice black spot in his vision….yeah, no. They were not trusting the ocean or anything in it. Nope. One more try, that was all it took, and then they were in the right place.
Well according to Mob they were.
It smelled like Disney…sort of. It smelled like junk food, mostly, and also kind of like…the sky? It smelled nice. It smelled a hell of a lot better when it wasn't packed with people. It was a hell of a lot quieter, too. No music was playing, no people were screaming, no rides were going. There was just the sound of the wind, his heart, and Mob. He could hear his heart beating in his chest. He knew that he had to move. His heart, his body, was telling him to move…and to move for real. Not just to rub his tongue against the top of his mouth. He had to move…to do something….
Like Mob.
She had the right idea. She was spinning down the street and laughing…maybe a little too loudly. There were night watchmen around…not too many but his English wasn't good enough to explain to this countries cops why he, a thirty one year old man, was out with a coked up twelve year old in Disneyland in the middle of the night. Mob was being kind of loud….but fuck it! He was Shimazaki Ryou. He did whatever he wanted whenever he wanted and if he got caught then he just teleported away. He answered to no one and he did whatever the hell he wanted to do.
And right now he wanted to spin down the street with Mob.
So that was what he did. He ran up, took her little hands in his, and spun down the street with her. Mob had such a beautiful laugh, kind of like Toshi's, but with more…bells? That was what it sounded like. Like she was made up of bells, the nice ones that they had a Christmas time. Like she was one of their Christmas ornaments or something. Yeah, that was what she was…like a Christmas ornament…or…or…
She was herself.
"I've always wanted to do this!" laughed Mob as he spun her…or rather she led him around and around. He could feel her dress hitting his legs. He hoped that she wasn't planning on doing this until she threw up. The last thing he wanted to do when he was like this was deal with that….well actually he didn't like dealing with vomit anytime, even his own…..and maybe he was going to throw up soon too…and maybe he needed something to drink. When was the last time they'd hydrated? Fuck! If she died then Toshi was going to kill him!
As much as he would have loved to have been with Toshi again he didn't much feel like dying right now.
"Mob…hang on." Said Shimazaki as he stopped them from spinning. Mob was trying to spin some more but he held her in place. She could have pushed him away, easily, with her powers…but she wasn't like that. No, she may have been called Suzuki but she was nicer than the rest of her family…even though that wasn't always a good thing. He let her go. If she wanted to spin then she could…even though watching her was making him feel kind of nauseous.
"What?" asked Mob as she kept on spinning.
"Can you stop with the spinning for one second? You're making me feel like I'm going to throw up." Said Shimazaki. She stopped instantly and then, before he knew it, she had dropped down into a kowtow.
"I-I'm sorry! It's just that whenever I would come here, when I was little, there would always be so many people. Sometimes I would walk down the street, usually Main Street, and just…think about spinning. Kind of like Rapunzel did the first time she went into town. Like, ok, she gets her hair braided into one big braid and then she sun around with Flynn, that's her boyfriend, and I've always wanted to spin down the street with my boyfriend…or just by myself…or with Elsa and Anna…but not Sho since he doesn't like Tangled so he wouldn't want to spin with me…but if he wanted to he could. Or maybe that would be weird because I really want to do that with my boyfriend and there shouldn't be any overlap between what I want to do with my boyfriend and what I want to do with my little brother…but Sho and I do have fun together and if I had a boyfriend then I would have wanted him to be like Sho….but not in a weird way-" said Mob
"So no incest, got it. No to the incest and yes to the spinning…now get up already. I hate kowtowing. It's boring to watch, boring to be a part of, and boring to be on the receiving end of." Said Shimazaki as he picked Mob up. She used to be lighter…or maybe he was just getting weaker. Maybe he was wasting away. Maybe he'd be dead one day and…no! He was not getting weaker and he was strong! He was as strong as he'd ever been…or stronger!
He didn't put Mob down.
"Ok…I won't kowtow…but can you put me down. I have to walk…I have to walk right now. I have to walk right now right this minute." Said Mob as she kicked her little legs.
"Well then if you have to walk then walk us to a place that has something to drink. We need to hydrate. I can't remember the last time we had anything to drink and I know that Toshi would kill me if you died." Said Shimazaki
"Everything is closed. It's dark out and everything is closed…in case you couldn't tell. I don't know what you can and can't tell. Like how before you said my dress was something special but you can't even tell that it's blue and new and sparkly." Said Mob
"I didn't say that the dress you were wearing was something special I said that you were something special…now keep on being special and find me something to drink!" said Shimazaki as he put her back down on her feet. She was looking down at the ground now, he in fact did know what was happening around him, and she was playing with the end of her dress. Her aura was, surprisingly, quiet. She had said, before, that she was better at controlling her powers when she was on coke and shit…well good for her.
He couldn't see past her.
She started walking and he had to take her arm. Damn it. He was stuck on her. Her aura was quieter but it was there and every part of her was calling to him. He couldn't see past her. He couldn't see past the way her feet his the ground, the way her hair swung when she walked, the sound of her breathing…her sort of labored breathing. Well that made sense, she had maybe gone just a little bit above her limit.
But she was going to be fine. He knew it.
"If we leave money on the counter then it should be ok. I have money…I mean money without coke on it…and I know their money too. Well actually it's a little complicated because the price on the signs never adds up to what it's going to be because of their taxes and stuff…wait. Do I have to figure out the taxes? I don't know how. That's a lot of really complicated math…do you know math?" asked Mob as she led him down the street.
"I can do math, I just don't like to…and what are you worried about? You're so fucking nice…you know that you don't have to worry about shit like that…you're way too nice…and I'm way too thirsty!" said Shimazaki
"Hang on, we're here. Just wait…the sign says that nobody is allowed behind the counter but….but if it's an emergency, like we're dying, then I think that it's ok. It's ok, right?" asked Mob as she came to a stop in front of a place that smelled like spun sugar and artificial fruit like product. All the stuff that kids loved and Toshi hated…well actually they really liked junk food…but they couldn't have them…but it was alright. There was plenty that they liked that he could have gotten them…
Well, no, actually because they were on the other side of the world.
They were all that way on the other side of the world…and they had gone there to get away from him…and that was their right! If they didn't want to come here, to the happiest fucking place on planet fucking earth then they could go the fuck wherever they wanted to go! Fuck! He was at Disney fucking World or Land or whatever and he was with his second best bestie in the whole wide fucking world and he was the king of the fucking world-
And also he had soda. It smelled like Coke.
"Here. I got us the collector's cups because those have free refills so that way we can drink stuff and it won't be stealing. I wasn't sure what the sales tax was so I just left a bunch of money on the tables…so here's soda. We have Moana cups…those are ok. I have a bunch, actually, from when they built this Frozen ride when I was little. I have all of the characters. I have Elsa and Anna and Olaf and Sven and-" said Mob
"Toshi's on the other side of the world." Said Shimazaki
"They are…and I don't see what that has to do with collectible Frozen cups." Said Mob
"Toshi…I don't know. I can't stop thinking about Toshi…and I shouldn't! I'm the king of the fucking world!" shouted Shimazaki
"Shimazaki! Be quiet! What if someone hears us?" asked Mob. He could feel someone coming…a normal person. Huh. Maybe he had been shouting. Maybe he needed to reevaluate not only his actions tonight but the path that his life was on. He was drinking a coke while he was high off of coke with an equally coked up twelve year old in the middle of Disneyland in the middle of the fucking night. Maybe this was a turning point in his life. Maybe it was time that he straightened up, flew right, and really took stock of himself and the path he was on.
Or he could just teleport away so he and his coked up twelve year old second best friend in the whole world didn't have to deal with whatever the drug and trespassing laws were here.
Yeah, teleporting away seemed like the better option…so that was what he did. He took Mob's hand and teleported them to…away. He didn't have a specific destination in mind for away. He usually did. He had to picture a place in his mind's eye if he was going some place specific. Sometimes he just winged it. Like if he was going to where all the people were. Sometimes he wound up somewhere cool like that time with that club with all the…whatever it was that made him think that he simultaneously had too much and too little skin. Sometimes he wound up boring places too. Like that long line that turned out to be for shaved ice of all things. Who in the hell waits fifteen minutes for shaved ice?
Actually some shaved ice sounded pretty freaking sweet right about now…especially if he mixed it with his coke…the drink.
"Hey Mob? You know any good shaved ice places around here?" asked Shimazaki as Mob clung to him for dear life. He didn't know what she was so freaked out about. They weren't up that high. He could hear her shaking, feel her struggling to breathe evenly…and it made no sense. She was Mob, she could fucking fly if she wanted to. What did she care about being a few meters off the ground?
A few hundred meters.
"There's shaved ice at animal kingdom and they'll even put vodka in if you're an adult…but that's far away from here. This is magic kingdom…and…we don't have to go to animal kingdom but can we get down from here? Please?" asked Mob as she clung to him with both hands. He raised an arm up and put it around her. The only thing keeping what Mob assured him was a very valuable collector's cup from falling into the abyss was his, limited, telekinesis. He couldn't do fine movements, like at all, but she could…
But she was too distracted or whatever to remember that she was Suzuki fucking Shigeko, the second most powerful esper on Earth and the only good that her father had ever put out into the world.
"We can't go down because somebody, me, was way too loud. Anyway you're fine. You can fly well I've never seen you do it but you're powerful enough that you could. If I can do it then you can do it…and anyway you know that I'm going to keep you safe. You know that I would never let anything happen to you. I love you." Said Shimazaki as he held her close. She was still shaking in place, whether that was from the coke or the fact that if she were to fall she had zero chance whatsoever of surviving. Or maybe it was because she was so close to him.
"I-I love you too…and I trust you…but I'm still scared. It's just that…we're at the top of the castle…and we're not even inside." Said Mob
"What? You don't like the view?" asked Shimazaki
"I…I do. It's…amazing. I can see the whole park from up here…it's not all the way dark…and it's so big…it looks so big from up here. I can't believe that we walked the whole thing." Said Mob
"You couldn't tell that this place was huge?" asked Shimazaki
"I…I knew that it was big…but I never thought about how big it was. This was just…always a place that I went. When I was a kid, before I made friends with you and Minegishi and everyone else, my dad would leave me and Sho here all day. One time I walked all through Hong Kong Disneyland with my dress up shoes on, the ones that aren't really for walking, and I had blisters everywhere…it felt like a long walk." Said Mob
"Why in the hell were you wearing shoes that you couldn't walk in? Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me." Said Shimazaki
"Sho outgrew his shoes and he didn't let me get him new ones since my mom…our mom…was the one who bought them for him…so I gave him mine and I only had dress up shoes." Said Mob. Shimazaki pulled her close. Fuck, he shouldn't have said that. He was such an asshole…well he had always known and been very comfortable with that fact, but…he didn't want to be an asshole to Mob. He loved her and she didn't need that shit anyway.
This was Mob.
He held her close and rested his head on top of hers. She leaned into him. She was still shaking…or maybe he was the one who was shaking. He needed to move and he needed to move but also it wasn't safe to move…but he could do whatever he wanted! He could…well not whatever he wanted. He couldn't be an asshole to Mob…well he could be an asshole to Mob…but he didn't want to be an asshole to her.
He loved her so fucking much.
"Sorry. For saying that it was stupid, I mean." Said Shimazaki as he kissed the top of her head.
"No, it was…really stupid of me….shoes don't matter. I should have figured that Sho and I were still growing and I should have bought us both new shoes. I should have planned better…I wasn't that good at planning things back then….and sometimes I'm not good at planning things now…sometimes I can be really dumb." Said Mob softly. He tilted her head up and kissed her forehead. She didn't pull away from him.
"You're not stupid and you're great at taking care of us. You're like Toshi…you're always thinking about everyone else. Well Toshi mostly just thinks about me and you…but for them that's enough. They're just so…they're like you but…Toshi." Said Shimazaki. He kissed the space between her eyes. She really was such a good person. She didn't need to be freaked out or down about herself or any of that. She was Mob. She was something special. She was damn near perfection.
"Why are you kissing me like that for?" asked Mob
"Because I want to. You seem down." Said Shimazaki
"It's…weird. It feels like I'm on top of the world…and also it feels like I'm the worst person ever….and also I feel thirsty…and I'm out of coke." Said Mob
"You're full of coke." Said Shimazaki with a laugh.
"No, I meant the drink…but I am full of the drink too." Laughed Mob. He laughed too…even though it wasn't that funny…or maybe it was the funniest thing that he had ever heard in his life…or maybe he just wanted to laugh. Maybe he just needed to laugh. Maybe right now he needed to laugh like a fucking maniac or he would do something stupid or crazy, for him, or maybe his mind would go back to Toshi and how they were so…so far away…and how he might never see them again. How they might have been sick of him. How they didn't need him anymore. How they-
He kissed the tip of Mob's nose.
"Stop kissing me…you know I don't like it when you tease me." Said Mob
"Who says that I'm teasing you?" asked Shimazaki as he stopped. He wasn't teasing her, she legitimately seemed sad…and sad was boring…but if she wanted to be boring then she could be boring. Even Toshi could be boring sometimes….like when they were laid up…and he shouldn't have thought that. He should have…God…he was being such an asshole…he needed to be there for Toshi…he should have...he needed to get them something! Like an apology gift!
He had no idea what he had done to them but an apology gift seemed like it was in order.
"You didn't say anything…but you kissed me before when you were teasing me…and you're teasing me right now. Can we go down? I need more to drink…and refills are free." Said Mob
"Well refills are free anyway because…you know what? I'm not going to fight you on the stealing thing…but I am going to need you to help me pick out a shirt for Toshi…and pay for it, too, I guess…but then we're going to live out all of our Disney World dreams! Are you with me?" asked Shimazaki
"Um….I guess so? I just mostly want to walk." Said Mob. He wish was his command. Walking sounded pretty damn good right about now…walking and talking and moving and maybe walking on his hands there was still that layer of cling wrap between him and reality…and he liked it. He was going to enjoy feeling life thorough this cling wrap maybe he could ignore the messiness that was there…like between him and Toshi…but maybe if he got them a shirt then he could show them that he cared and whatever had happened between them…he was ready to fix it…even if it was boring…these things mostly were…
But the distinct lack of Toshi in his life was….worse.