A Father's Love
Chapter 11: Remus vs Lily
~~**~~ Next Day Snape Manor~~**~
Draco woke with Harry sitting in the bay window looking out over the small field and the beginning of a forest. "Morning…" He yawned pushing the sheets off his legs.
Harry smiled at him, "Morning sleepy head."
"How long you been up?" Draco asked sitting up.
"Since sunrise."
"What time is it?"
"About four hours after sunrise…" Harry answered a smile playing on his lips. "About 9:30… Sev is up and out. Gonna be back in time for dinner." Harry picked out a cigarette from his robes lit it and began smoking. Harry had begun smoking when something upset him, Draco and Sev both knew and both had tried to get him to quit, but both had failed. Harry looked out the window again and stared. Draco got up and went into the bathroom coming out ten minutes later dressed casually and freshened up.
"Harry, want to join me in the dinning room?"
Harry looked at his companion and gave a quick uneasy smile. He then took another drag off the cigarette and nodded. He finished the cigarette and glided off the ledge of the bay window. In the dinning room, Draco and Harry sat across from one another while Draco ate a breakfast and Harry had a small snack. Draco watched as Harry trembled when he lifted his arm to high and how he was concealing a pain that Draco could not see.
"You alright Harry?" Draco finally asked.
"Yeah I will be fine. Just a little… a little out of it you could say."
"Alright." Draco said knowing his companion did not wish to talk about anything at this moment. Harry fumbled for another cigarette and lit it impatiently.
"I'm feeling a little week, I am going to go for a walk." Harry said standing up and leaving the table. Draco did not follow, knowing Harry did not want him to.
~~**~~ Remus's Room at Hogwarts ~~**~~
Remus rolled over and let out a small cry of pain. He couldn't leave Hogwarts now, he had promised Dumbeldore he would stay for as long as Harry and Draco were at school but he was in no shape at this point to protect them, they were half a country away now at Snape Manor. There was a knocking on his door he wasn't sure he had heard at first but when he heard it a second time he got up with a pain in his side, during his transformation a few night ago, he had bruised himself badly. His ribs hurt and he believed one or more to be broken.
Remus rose out of bed and grabbed a robe pulling it around himself before uttering the password to open his door. Minerva was at the door, in her typical uniform of highly concealing robes and always-heavy overcoat.
"Can I do something for you?" His voice was gruff, from the lack of good sleep.
"Well yes, one is you can wake up and do some good. Two, you can go see Poppy. And three you can get back with Severus."
"Woman, I will give you two, but not the third, that is asking to much."
"Remus Lupin, I am not a fool. I know that you still love him. Don't think I am stupid. How old are you boys now? Thirty-eight I seem to remember and you are wallowing at this school… He will take you back if he knows what is good for him." Minerva said exhaustedly. "Now, first thing first on to Poppy with you, Now." She finished giving him no room to argue with her.
~~**~~ That Afternoon, Snape Manor~~**~~
Harry had been out for a long time and Draco was about to go out to find him when he spotted the boy out of their bedroom window on a bench near out of sight below the window. Deciding that since Harry wasn't smoking, he would leave him be for the time.
Draco had been reading and fell into a nap shortly after with the silence of the manor. He however did notice when the wards shifted to admit a wizard, assuming it was Severus he stirred only slightly and went on napping. Harry however, could feel that the person was indeed not his father but the second best, one Remus Lupin. Harry got up and walked through the house to greet the unexpected visitor.
"He's not here." Harry said quickly.
"When will your father be back?"
"Later." Harry shrugged, turning to leave.
"Can I at least come inside and wait?" Remus sounded almost desperate.
"Fine, the first study. I will have a house elf come in if you need anything. Do you?"
"A cup of tea would be nice." Remus said following Harry lead and grimaced because his ribs still hurt and the boys back was to him.
Harry led the way to the small study and Remus was grateful for the overstuffed chairs that Severus kept in the house. "Harry, why do you hate me?"
"I'm only returning the affections you had for me." Harry glared at him.
"I was… I.. no, there is no excuse for my behavior. However, I am sorry."
"Well what goes around comes around. I'm leaving you in here if Severus wants to see you, he will be in, if not… a house elf will show you out." Harry turned to leave not wanting to talk to Remus any longer. Harry had let his hate for Remus grow as the last eighteen months had passed with his father alone again. He needed to go see Draco before his father came in. Harry found Draco asleep on the bed. 'geeze he can sleep…' Harry thought waking up the other young man by blowing in his ear. "Time to get up sleepy head…" Harry said dryly and Draco growled.
"Sev home?"
"Nope, it Professor Lupin. He's come to visit Sev, he's in the first study… I thought we could be studying in the second study when Sev comes in. Now hurry up, he should be back soon."
"Remy is here!?!" Draco asked he couldn't help being excited even if Harry didn't like the werewolf.
"Yes, now hurry." Harry said dismissing his companion's excitement as anxious fear. Leaving the room, Harry grabbed a textbook and supplies for writing a scroll or two when Sev got back in. Draco was quick to follow. The two boys set up a study table in no time. They cast a silencing charm on the shared wall so Sev could not hear them, but they could hear the men when the discussed whatever they were to discus. Harry hurried out of the study ten minutes later when he felt the wards shift with the arrival of his father.
"Good afternoon Harry. You and Draco doing well?" He asked casually. "It's a good day to be out." and indeed the man had a very successful shopping trip, he pulled out a formal over robe. It was a thin black material that shimmered a dull black. "You like it? I got three. One black, one green, and one crimson. You and Draco get first pick. And if you pick the same one, you have to fight over it." Severus's eyes were twinkling.
"If I didn't know better, I would say my Father is scheming…"
"Well what have you been doing all day? You were up before I was and I have been gone for a while now…"
"Studying mostly, ohh and Remus stopped by about ten minutes ago…"
There was a pause before Severus said, "Well then I guess I just missed him then." He hurried to put the black garment back in the bag.
Harry thought about telling his father that yes, he had missed Remus, but he knew he could not get away with it. "Dad," he paused not sure he actually wanted to continue. "Remy is in the number one study. I let him in and told him he could wait, you don't have to see him if you don't want to, but it's your choice now."
"Thank you." Severus said patting his son's shoulder. "Now go on back to whatever you were doing, I don't think it will be long before dinner is ready."
"I love you." Harry said. Severus smiled and turned to go to Study number one.
"I love you too son." Severus said before opening and closing the study door behind himself. Harry rushed to the second study.
**~~** Study Number One**~~**
Severus looked at his former lover, and moved into the room taking a breath of air. He sank down and stared at him for the longest time, finally, Severus spoke. "Why are you here?"
"Because I am sorry, and I wanted to tell you that."
"Sorry for what?"
"For not being smart, for making you think I didn't love Harry, and most of all for leaving when you told me to, and not coming back."
"You never acted like you loved Harry. I only have one question. Why?"
"I was trying, and…"
"You are not a good liar nor have you ever been. I want the truth."
"It was because of Lily, you keep her picture right under your pillow. You only put it away when you were afraid it was going to be harmed, and every time I looked at Harry and say the green eyes, I was reminded of what you and Lily had. It was that damned picture that drove me wild."
"You were threatened by a picture of a dead woman!" Severus bellowed.
"YES! You love her One hundred percent of the time, and you know what else, you took me on as a lover because I was the first one there! You would have screwed ANYTHING willing just to feel alive. I was in love with you and you were never in love with me. You always loved Lily the most."
"Remus, you are most defiantly wrong. I loved you when I asked you to stay."
"No, Severus, you did not love me, you loved sex. And I would dish it out hoping that one day you would love me and not leave me, or kick me out, and I knew from the start that Harry would be the reason. You were addicted to feeling alive, and free even when you weren't. You had already taken on a gay lover, that was James, you knew what that was like, and you didn't like it, so you and Lily had a few times, but then she left you for James… and you were left alone, for over a year you were left completely alone. An outcast in your house and not accepted in any other, and I loved you. Sirius tried to kill you when he saw how hurt I was… and this was before James… and you, you were completely clueless. I loved you, and I loved everyone else but they were my friends, I wanted and needed you and when you finally took me on it was because all the better options were gone. You didn't want to be alone anymore, and that's how Lily and James had left you, so you let Malfoy run over your life and feed you to the dark lord… and when Harry came along after you and Lily had an affair, you crawled to Dumbeldore for help. And I STILL loved you. When you thought Harry was dead, and all of you was gone, that's when you needed me. You needed to use me. You needed sex, and you didn't care how you got it, or what kind it was, just so long as you felt alive. You were free when you were having sex, and you liked that, even if you gave no consideration for the other person involved. And for all it matters, I still love you, I love Harry, whether you believe it or not." Remus was shaking and his voice trembled.
Severus got up and walked over to the man slapping his cheek as fiercely as he could. "I cling to what I have of her because I love her. No woman could ever take her place. I grew to love you, but you resented her, that's what kept us distant. Yes, I loved the sex, but only because it was with you. Don't even insult something you do not understand. Lily is dead, and you are alive. I have of Lily only a picture and Harry, and I am not going to fuck that over so you can bloody well be right, because you are wrong. I did love you, but I don't know if I can anymore. Now get out and leave my son."
"Is that what he is to you, your son?"
"What? Why wouldn't he be?"
"Not the son we could share and could raise together and love and cherish and hold dear. No, he always was yours: never mine. We shared Draco, but not Harry. No, because Harry belonged to Lily, and I could never be Lily, could I?"
"Shut up Mr. Lupin and get out of my house, or I will harm you."
"There will be no need for that, I am in no condition to fight back." Remus said standing up painfully. The pain visible on his face was no longer a concern to Severus, they were done. Now and forever, they would be no more. "Good bye my old friend." Remus said apperating out of Snape manor.
Severus who had been standing, sank into the chair behind him, and cried.
AN: End Chapter 11… W00T!!! Okays so I fixed the whole Remus Severus thing and they are now apart… for good…
For those who are waiting for a lemon, I am sorry there will be none, the end of Chapter six is as far as I will go, for this fan-fiction. No hot slash scene in this fic… possibly "Surprise for a Future Potion Master" but not this one… let me say that again THERE WILL BE NO GRAPHIC SEX IN THIS FICTION!!!!
ANYWAYS…: Sorry this was later then I expected more chapters to come… remember Voldermort has yet to be killed… and we have yet to find out why the Author has created the silly stupid ass thing a "Bohemian Healer" and is Harry really one…? Well the answer is duhh… but still… yeah anyways…
Ohh yeah the whole smoking thing… yeah I don't know why but I pictured Harry smoking during that scene… so I made him smoke. Don't worry kiddies he stops before the end… and a note: DON"T SMOKE IT'S BAD FOR YOU!! To any smokes offended: fine do what you want I don't care… if you are going to flame me, flame the story not the politics… I have never smoked, never plan to, but might one day, you never know.
Damn this is a long AN…. leaving now. Sayonara Minna-san^^