This was not at all how Hatori had seen his life going.

Mom and dad had told him for his entire life that one day that their store would be his. That was their legacy to him, they'd said, that was their life's work and then one day it would be his and then his son's and his son's son's until the inevitable robot rebellion. He didn't think that dad had been serious about that one…but it had kept him awake at night when he'd been small. Sneaking that copy of the first Terminator movie hadn't helped matters. He'd been three or four shaking in his bed watching his PC, and old PC 900, waiting for it to come to life and kill him.

It didn't.

He'd asked it not to. It had been watching him. He knew that it had been watching him in that way that little kids just sort of knew things. It had been watching through the screensaver, he had never trusted those flying toasters, and he had begged it to just turn off and go to sleep…and it had. It shut down and didn't bother him for the rest of the night. Of course that hadn't been his 'oh my God I have the world's nerdiest superpower' moment. No, not at all.

That was when he had been assured of the coming machine takeover.

He acted fast the next morning, unplugging everything, since mom and dad had said that machines ate electricity like people ate food. So, really, he'd had no choice in the matter. It was either starve everything and also get in trouble for messing with the electricity or end up in a pile of skulls being crushed by scary robots. Mom and dad…hadn't seen it that way…and also they took the VCR out of his room! That had been the worst injustice in the history of mankind. He'd still had his TV, though, and if he focused hard enough he could get the movie channel even though his TV hadn't been hooked up to the cable.

The best use of his powers at the time.

Not that he'd called them powers. He had just thought that he was a friend of the machines and when they took over the world he'd be spared. Mom and dad had just thought that he was playing. The other kids had just thought that he was weird…well fuck the other kids! He'd had an N64 and a Dreamcast in addition to his PC and his old Gameboy Color. He hadn't needed anyone else and he'd never felt lonely. How could he have possibly felt lonely? He was a friend to all machines.

Also…mom and dad had been around then.

He had thought, well figured, that he would live in the house with them until they got old and died, and then for some time afterwards, just like it had been with grandma and grandpa. They had lingered for a while after they died, not at the same time of course, but they had lingered until they could be together. Of course nobody believed him, actually even mom and dad had thought that he'd gone a little crazy, but he hadn't been crazy. Just…himself. An esper, the only esper in his family, and now he was the only member of his family.

He had never imagined that his life would go this way.

"Well fuck you too." Muttered Hatori as he read through the latest in the espers of Japan forum. It was always good to see what people were saying….and they were saying a lot of shit. Apparently someone had taken and posted pictures of the construction going on at the Seventh Division…some asshole in Seasoning City with a burner phone who'd not only taped over his camera lens but destroyed the speaker too…and probably the SIM card since Hatori couldn't track it. He had no idea who this guy was but he was making a lot of extra work for Hatori. Claw was NOT falling apart and nobody could think it was! Suzuki did not need to deal with this shit right now. He was with his girlfriend right now, probably reminding himself how straight he was, and he couldn't fuck all his problems away if he was worrying about all of these new, non-problems, that kept on popping up!

Really, this was not at all how Hatori had seen his life going.

"Well Seasoning City, hope you're sick and tired of the internet. If not well…this is going to be a hard…I don't know. Week? See how I feel tomorrow." Said Hatori as he took of his glasses, closed his eyes, and dove into the electric ocean. That had been his word for it when he'd been a kid. Mom and dad had called it 'surfing the net' and people surfed on the ocean and the internet was made of electricity so, of course, the space inside of computers was the electric ocean.

Sure felt like one.

Hatori was glad as fuck that he hadn't been included in the beach trip. The ocean was big, salty, and terrifying. That was pretty much the only thing that he agreed with Shimazaki on. There was no trusting the ocean. Sure it looked like a pool or a lake but, really, it was full of salt that burnt your eyes and got in your mouth…and he hadn't even mentioned the current yet. When Hatori had been little he hadn't even known what a current was…and then before he knew it he had been dragged for five kilometers down the shoreline. If that boat hadn't found him he would have been dead and that would have been the end of him. But of course it had found him, he had been calling out for help through the ocean, the electric ocean. He'd called a boat over to him, a miracle everyone had called it, but it hadn't been a miracle. It had just been him making sure that he didn't, you know, die.

That was always a worry.

Like now. He could lose himself if he didn't focus. He was…Seasoning City. He could feel it. He just…knew…that he was in Seasoning City now. The hum of a million and one phones, computers, TVs, and even the occasional smart fridge…did everything need to be smart these days? It had been too long since he'd done this…and all of this smart whatever made too much extra noise….he couldn't think…but he had to think. He had to find…there! He saw the giant switch, like a light switch, only not. This wasn't anything other than his brain showing him what was happening in a way that he could understand. Kind of like when aliens took human form so your brain didn't melt when you saw them…or maybe that was angels…like the ones in Evangelion…he'd think more about this later.

Right now he had work to do.

With a flip of the switch the internet in Seasoning City was now gone….that would teach them…or whatever. Whoever had the nerve to say that Claw was falling apart….fucking morons. Claw was not going to fall apart no matter how weird Suzuki got or how many buildings Mob blew up. There was no way. Suzuki would admit that he was bi and in love with Fukuda before he let that happen. That was where Hatori came in. As much as he would have LOVED it if Suzuki just came out of the closet he'd locked himself in already it wasn't worth him having another crisis and taking two steps back.

No, Hatori had worked way too hard for that.

He wasn't a kid anymore. He was twenty one and he could not only take care of himself and handle his own life but Suzuki's too. The guy was smart, nobody would argue with that, but he was REALLY emotional….like weirdly emotional. Hatori couldn't believe that he had ever been afraid of the guy. Sure he left people to die in holes, among other things, but he was also…really weird. Weirdly nice. Thoughtful, too, in the weird way where he tucked you into bed at night if he found you asleep at your desk…but also left you four glasses of water with times you were supposed to drink them written in sharpie on the front so you didn't get dehydrated. He was nice like that…thoughtful…and kind of a good friend…even though Hatori had never planned on being his friend.

He had never planned on a lot of things.

Turning off the internet for all of Seasoning City, for one thing. That had been…had he always been this sweaty? He tossed his hoodie off into the corner of the living room. Now it could live with his other hoodies and sweatshirts. He needed…he reached for one of the random half drank cans on his desk and took a swig. Gross. Stale…and orange. Why did he have orange? Red was his favorite right now…with green a close second. Christmas colors. Heh. He wondered if he'd be home for Christmas.

Hell, he wondered if he'd be alive for Christmas.

"Here. Drink this before you die." Said Suzuki….Suzuki his friend, roommate, and guy who should NOT have been home right now! Hatori jumped up from his spot, a glass of water flew through the air as he bumped it. Before it, and the water inside, could hit his laptop it was caught in the air and returned to it's glass.

"This is why you need water, you're behaving erratically…though this may just be your normal state." Said Suzuki as he used his powers to shove the glass into Hatori's hand. He nodded and sipped it. Sometimes it was best to do what Suzuki wanted…like now. He was going to ask him, very clearly, what the hell he thought that he was doing back home when he had a girl that was crazy for him and also had been matching with complete weirdos and losers on Tinder, Dine, OKCupid, Bumble, and even her Tapple…there were a lot of dating apps out there but it had been nothing to mess with hers for a few weeks.

After all, he had to do what was best for his…best friend…right?

"Su-Suzuki? What's…what's up?" asked Hatori as Suzuki put his glasses on with his powers…and stabbed him in the eye. Hopefully on accident. He reached up and fixed his glasses. The world came into view, the fuzziness was gone, but maybe it was time for a new prescription…or an appointment with a shrink. He must have been going blind or crazy or something…especially if Suzuki was in pink of all colors.

A lot of pink.

And purple too. He was in his normal suit pants along with a pink and purple shirt with starfish and normal fish on it. Apparently he had gone to the aquarium…five years ago…and also he was a fan of ocean conservation efforts. Huh. Well you thought you knew a guy but then he came in wearing a pink and purple shirt…and a green hoodie, too, one that it didn't even look like he could zip up. One that didn't even make it all the way down his torso….which was weird because normally Suzuki was the one riding him about walking around looking ridiculous…

Oh. Wait…he knew what this was.

"You were very still when I came in and stayed that way for some time. I thought that you had died…well for a moment before I saw your aura. Don't die. Ever. That's an order." Said Suzuki

"Sure…whatever you say, boss." Said Hatori

"Good. You are forbidden from dying while I am still alive…now excuse me. I have a great many things to do…and there had better be hot water left." Said Suzuki as he turned to leave. As he turned Hatori smelled it. Girl's soap. The flowery stuff Mob used, or maybe a different kind, he didn't know. He wasn't an expert of girl's soap, or girl's in general, but maybe it was one of those know it when you see it sorts of things.

Sort of like Suzuki's walk of shame thing he had going on.

"Wait! I mean…hang on." Said Hatori. He reached into his hoodie and, sneakily, took a picture…for his own reasons. There was no way people would believe him, well Shibata. Serizawa believed anything that anyone told him. Minegishi wouldn't care and Shimazaki…well he didn't speak to Shimazaki any more than was absolutely necessary.

"Why? You need something?" asked Suzuki

"No, just wondering…um…why are you here? I mean I figured you and Shiori would have been out all night." Said Hatori. He felt Suzuki's aura on him. He felt like he was under a microscope…an angry microscope…but Suzuki wasn't going to do anything to hurt him. He didn't hurt his friends no matter how badly they pried into his personal life. Hell, he told his friends all about his personal life even though there was a LOT of shit there that nobody needed to know about.

"I was out all night with her, it's morning, and now I'm here." Said Suzuki

"What do you mean, it's morning? It's only eight." Said Hatori as he checked the clock on his laptop.

"Yes. In the morning." Said Suzuki. Hatori stretched and rubbed his eyes. No wondered his eyes felt so dry, his eyelids felt so heavy, and his arm had fallen asleep.

"Fuck." Said Hatori

"Don't curse." Said Suzuki

"Sorry just…uh…sympathizing with your situation and all." said Hatori

"I have no idea what you're taking about." Said Suzuki

"I meant that she kicked you out of bed first thing in the morning. I've never had a girlfriend but I bet that really sucks." Said Hatori. Suzuki was giving him one of those looks that could kill…and would have killed, too, if he and Suzuki hadn't been best friends. Yeah, he had never seen himself being best friends with the craziest and most powerful man on Earth but he also had never seen himself ever having a best friend so…yeah…this was ok. Sometimes it was even funny.

Like now.

It was kind of hard to be afraid of Suzuki when he was wearing a girl's shirt and a girl's hoodie and he smelled like the inside of a mom's purse. Fuck taking pictures and speculating about Claw's internal problems, this was the way to go. Just snap an embarrassing picture of the President after a long walk of shame and spread that around. That would discredit Claw really quick…but Hatori would not be doing that because he wasn't an asshole.

Well, not to his friends at least.

"That is none of your business." Said Suzuki after a moment.

"Ok." Said Hatori. He even held his hands up in surrender. He knew that Suzuki wasn't going to hurt him…but it did no good to piss Suzuki off. He had to be calm right now, happy even, so he could keep on hooking up with his girlfriend and then he'd get out of whatever emotional shit he was stuck in and Hatori could move onto part two of his plan, getting his original best friend back, so Hatori could have someone to split the work of being Suzuki's best friend and second in command of Claw with. Part three involved getting Mob to forgive him so everything could go back to normal. So far he hadn't even finished step one yet, getting Suzuki to stop ruminating on this shit with his daughter and his ex-wife…or maybe he had.

Suzuki had come home dressed like this after all.

"Also she isn't my girlfriend. It's…very complicated…and also none of your business." Said Suzuki. He nodded to himself. Hatori nodded too. This really wasn't his business, Suzuki was right. He didn't care what Suzuki did just so long as he was happy doing it…and also safe. That was…a big one. They didn't need another Mukai situation, that was how they had gotten into this mess in the first place.

"Yup. None of my business, boss." Said Hatori with a nod. Suzuki was still staring at him…but at least not in that 'you're going to die soon' sort of way.

"Exactly…and she didn't kick me out. She just had to go to work. She funds her endeavors with legitimate business ventures as we do." Said Suzuki

"Got it." Said Hatori

"So…so she did invite me to stay but I had to come home to change clothes…for reasons which you do not need to be informed of. Have I made myself clear?" asked Suzuki

"As crystal, boss." Said Hatori as he made an 'ok' sign with his fingers. Suzuki knew what that meant, he had to. He had been alive when it had been invented. He seemed to get it…at least he didn't seem so…not pissed off…whatever he had been.

"Good…now…go to bed. You're never going to get over your jetlag if you don't." said Suzuki before he turned and practically ran out of the living room. Hatori held his laughter in until he couldn't anymore, so for the time it took for a door upstairs to slam shut. He couldn't help it. The whole thing was just too hilarious.

Suzuki Touichirou…had actually done a walk of shame.

Hatori had never done one of those himself, nor would he ever since Suzuki thought that he was gay, but if he did he wouldn't have dressed in the most feminine clothes he could find. Suzuki was so ridiculous sometimes, and also sometimes in a good way. Like now. This was one of those times when it was easy to think of him as just this dad aged guy he hung out with, lived with, and gamed with. Not the guy who was going to take over the world or whatever…but he was…and Hatori was going to be right there with him. After he fixed his living situation, mended some broken family bonds, and taught Suzuki the joy of being open and honest with his feelings. Heh. Wow. He had never seen his life going this way…but it wasn't so bad.

It was pretty damn great sometimes, actually.