Less than a year ago Serizawa had barely been able to make it across the hall to the bathroom…and now he was on the other side of the world!
It was great! Even if he had just spent this whole trip in a series of hotel rooms it was still great. He was with his friends…most of them…and also his best friend in the world so he was ok. Sure he had to keep the blinds closed, it was just easier, but he was happy…and not backsliding. No, he was happy to be able to leave his home and he was happy to be able to be with his friends…and he was happy for everything that was happening in his life.
Even when it was kind of…unexpected.
"…sand everywhere, so maybe it's better that you stayed behind…not that I don't want to include you! I do, I really do, I just don't think that you would have been very happy at the beach." Said Miss Suzuki as she brushed out her hair. She was in here because her brother kicked in his sleep and hamsters woke up at night and also cats didn't get along with hamsters. There was too much going on in her room so he didn't blame her for wanting to spend time with him.
Actually it was nice.
At some point in time he had gotten used to having company. He didn't know exactly when he had stopped being afraid of being near people…well people he knew…but it had passed. Mostly. Shimazaki made him nervous but Hatori said that Shimazaki made everyone nervous and also that Serizawa was better off not knowing why. He, of course, listened to Hatori. He was his second best friend after all. It went Miss Suzuki. Hatori, Shibata, President Suzuki, Sho, and then Shimazaki. He wasn't sure where Minegishi fit into all of that.
And it wasn't like he could ask them.
"I agree…but I'm glad that you had fun! You and-and everyone else, I mean." Said Serizawa from his spot on the floor. He was trying not to take up too much room. It was easy to take up a lot of room when you didn't realize it. Sitting with your legs fully extended, leaning back too much, letting your shoulders relax. There was a lot more room when he was on his own…but he didn't want to be on his own. He wanted to be near her.
She was his best friend after all.
"I…kind of had fun. The first couple of days were fun but now I think that the only person having fun is Mukai…her and Sho, maybe. He'd been collecting shells. He says that he's going to use them to decorate his hamster homes and also he's going to send some to Emmy….but I don't know why." Said Miss Suzuki
"Um…maybe because his hamsters are sad that they can't come too? I mean I don't know if Hamsters can be sad or not but he loves them and they love him so maybe they're sad when he leaves. Sometimes I hear them crying…well their squeaking sounds like crying…and I would have cried too if I was that small and the person who took care of me left." Said Serizawa. He was out of breath by the end of that, like when he'd had to run laps in gym. Or maybe it was more like distance running, like the more you ran the better you got at it. Practice did make perfect after all…and he was out of practice when it came to talking to people.
One year did not make up for fifteen.
But he was trying. He knew that he talked too much, sometimes, not that Miss Suzuki had ever said anything. No, she was happy with him just the way he was. She had said so before. She was kind of like mom like that. How she accepted him and took care of him and cared about him. She worked hard for him so he was going to work hard for her and that meant learning to talk to people.
Even if he did talk too much sometimes.
"Huh?" asked Miss Suzuki as she put her brush down and shook out her hair. Some more sand rained down. She caught it with her powers and threw it away. The whole thing took maybe ten seconds…and in those ten seconds Serizawa should have been thinking of what to say…but he couldn't think of what he was supposed to say to that…
So he just said everything.
"I-I'm sorry! I mean…I thought that you were asking me about why your little brother would have been collecting seashells for his hamsters…and I guess that since you're his older sister and all you're the one who would know why. I mean you've known him for your entire life…I mean his entire life! Since…since you're the older sibling and he's the younger sibling…I mean…" said Serizawa
"Oh. I know what you mean…but that's not what I meant. I just meant…well I guess that I was just saying how I didn't understand why Sho was collecting seashells for his girlfriend." Said Miss Suzuki
"B-Because he loves her?" asked Serizawa. That made sense. When you loved someone then you did things for them and got them things…well that was his understanding of it, anyway. He'd never had a girlfriend before, and his parents had never been married, so he wasn't entirely sure how it went. He was doing his best, though, even though…well his best hadn't been good enough. Minegishi had still left him…well they had left everyone. They had decided to go back to Japan…and they hadn't come out and said that they had done this because of him…
But it was kind of obvious that…yeah. It was pretty obvious that they had left because of him…even though it wasn't obvious to him…what it was that he had done to make them leave.
"He…I don't even know if he loves her." said Miss Suzuki. She stopped shaking out her hair, now, but she wasn't back to brushing it. She left the brush on the ground and now she was staring at her feet. The blue on her toenails was chipping off. Maybe that was what she was looking it…and maybe that was what was making her so sad.
She shouldn't have been sad. She was Miss Suzuki.
"I-I bet he does, I mean he gave her a ring and everything. That's…what you do when you love someone. I mean if I had someone I loved, and who loved me back, and if I was braver I would have done something like that…so I bet that…that your brother and his girlfriend are going to be very happy together. You shouldn't worry about that…or about anything…not that I'm trying to boss you around! I would never do that. I just meant that…that…um…that you shouldn't worry about things…" said Serizawa
"That's the thing, I don't even know if he loves her. He…can you keep a secret? Well I don't know how much of a secret it is by now but if I tell you something do you promise to never tell anyone? Even if they bribe you or threaten you?" asked Miss Suzuki
"T-Threaten?" asked Serizawa
"Yes. Threaten. My dad says that one of the most valuable things a person can have is information. That's why we're not supposed to talk about Claw and stuff…well that and also normal people can't know about espers because they'll use us for science experiments or lock us up or think that we're crazy. We can't tell the world until the day comes." Said Miss Suzuki
"Wh-which day?" asked Serizawa
"I don't know exactly. Dad just said 'when the day comes' so I guess that's when we're taking over the world or something. I hope it's not on a Tuesday, that's when my show gets new episodes." Said Miss Suzuki
"The one about the high schoolers in love?" asked Serizawa
"Yes, that one. I don't want to have to miss it because we're taking over the world. I mean I could always watch it later but I know myself and I know that I'm probably going to forget…especially with how much work we're going to have to do. Dad has this whole complicated plan where we're going to take over all the TV channels and kidnap the prime minister and take over something called a 'cultural tower' or something….it's going to be a lot." Said Miss Suzuki
"That…that sounds like a lot." Said Serizawa. He really hoped that he didn't have a part in this plan. He didn't mind helping out…just so long as he didn't have to do anything that mattered. If he messed up at something that mattered then the entire plan would fall apart….and this was President Suzuki's life's work….and also Miss Suzuki's life's work too. If he messed this up then nobody would ever talk to him again…so maybe it was best that he sat this one out.
He could remind Miss Suzuki to watch her show! There, that was something that he could do…and also something that he probably would have ended up messing up.
"It is….but maybe not for us. I don't know if dad's going to ask us to help…or just Hatori…but it doesn't matter. We just…we have to have fun. That's all that we have to worry about right now. I think that Mukai might want to go back to the beach tomorrow….but I might take her to a zoo or something. Sho likes zoos and we're all getting tired of the beach….and Sho's got too many seashells as it is." Said Miss Suzuki
"He won't have as many, though, when he gives some to his…girlfriend…" said Serizawa. Ok, that had been the wrong thing to say. He could tell by her eyes. They looked sad, sort of tired, there…and he was the worst friend in the world…or at least he felt like it. He needed to stop talking about girlfriends and stuff. What did he know about love? He'd been kissed once and the person who kissed him had disliked it so much that they had run away. He almost wished, actually, that it hadn't happened…at least that way he wouldn't have had anything new to worry about…but he did have something new to worry about. He had someone knew to worry about…maybe even two someone's since Miss Suzuki was sad now…or even three someone's since he knew that Shimazaki would not have taken it well if he knew that Minegishi had done…what they had done. Not that Serizawa had made them! No! He could never have done anything like that! Not in a million years! The whole thing had been their idea and…well Shimazaki could be reasonable sometimes…maybe. Even was reasonable sometimes…..not that he was going to go and test how reasonable Shimazaki could be…not that he was even there…but if he had been there then Serizawa would have steered clear of him.
He didn't know what Shimazaki did to people who kissed his partner but he knew what Shimazaki did to people who moved his stuff…and kissing his partner was a lot worse than moving his stuff around on accident.
"That's the thing, Serizawa, I don't know if I want Sho to give his girlfriend any seashells…or anything. Anything other than the truth I mean….I mean…you know that he liked, likes? Liked…or maybe still likes Shimazaki, right?" asked Miss Suzuki
"I know…I mean I remember. I can't believe he drew….um….what he drew." Said Serizawa. He tucked his chin down into his shirt and tried not to laugh. It was a nervous laugh, not a mean one, but he knew how easily a person could take a nervous laugh for a mean one. He shouldn't have been laughing at all, Sho getting his heart broken was really sad, but he just…couldn't help it. Things like that, the part about the drawings and not the part about the heartbreak, made him laugh. The whole thing was just…something that he couldn't even talk about without laughing.
"Me neither…I mean….he likes Shimazaki and he thinks about him and stuff….but I never would have stolen Minegishi's phone and gone through their pictures and drawn all of that…mostly because I can't draw and also stealing is wrong…especially from my best friend." Said Miss Suzuki
"I-I think that your brother can love his girlfriend and like Shimazaki at the same time….I mean…um…some people love both boys and girls…so maybe your brother is…one of those people?" asked Serizawa. He wasn't that good at changing the subject, he hadn't had nearly enough practice in his life, but he was going to try his best. He had to try his best. He could NOT talk about Minegishi with Miss Suzuki. They were best friends. They were best friends and…and he was best friends with Miss Suzuki and…well he didn't want people to talk…well he got the feeling that this wasn't the thing to talk about. Minegishi had said that they didn't care who knew but…but if people knew then they would talk about it and…and they hadn't given him a story to tell people….and he didn't want to make them upset…it was really easy to make them upset…or maybe they were just always upset…
He didn't want to make whatever they were going through worse…he liked them way too much for that.
"Maybe….I don't know. I have no idea what goes on in his head or his heart…but I wish he would just…tell me. If he likes her or if he doesn't….I mean I've asked him and he's said that he was going to break up with her…and also he said that he wasn't…but mostly he just says that it's none of my business. I mean I know that it isn't, it's his relationship and not mine, I don't even think that I'll ever even be in one…but I think that…well it doesn't really matter much what I think." Said Miss Suzuki
"That's not true! I mean…I mean that…that you're really smart and stuff….and also you would probably…probably be in a relationship if you wanted to be." Said Serizawa. That was the best that he could do to make her feel better. He had no idea how he was supposed to fix this…if there was any way to fix how someone else felt….especially since he couldn't even figure out how to fix his own feelings.
"That's nice of you to say…but that's never going to happen for me. I don't know any boys…and also they make me nervous…and anyway I have to worry about Sho and how he feels and his relationship. I don't know if there's even anything to fix, though, but….I don't know. It's hard…being a big sister is hard." Said Miss Suzuki
"I…I'm going to have to take your word for it. I've never been a big sister…I mean a big brother! I mean-" said Serizawa
"I know what you mean." Said Miss Suzuki. She smiled and began to braid her hair back up with her powers. He wondered if he would ever be able to do that, not braid hair specifically, but to be able to control his powers like that…but he was fine with what he could do. He hadn't broken anything or hurt anyone in a long time. That was better than he had ever imagined…for himself, anyway. Miss Suzuki was unhappy…and the way he felt didn't matter if his best friend was unhappy.
He patted her on the back.
Quickly, of course, since he wasn't entirely used to touching other people just yet. He felt s sting as he touched her. She didn't feel the same thing, or at least she didn't show it. That was just their colors, their auras, touching. She was stronger than him, he could feel it, and it just made him want to be even more near to her. Like she could keep him safe…even though he was so much bigger than her. He was bigger and stronger than she was…but she was stronger in the real way. After all she had been born with the same curse, the same powers, as he had been but instead of hiding from the world and herself she was here. She was…this person who she was. She was Suzuki Shigeko.
And she was amazing.
"Sorry…to tell you so much about what's bothering me. You have enough to worry about." Said Miss Suzuki
"I…I really don't. I used to worry a lot…about things like losing control and hurting people…my mother…but I don't really worry about that anymore. I mean I don't want to hurt anyone! I mean…I mean I love…all of you but…but I feel…better? I mean I don't have to worry as much because…um…because…" said Serizawa. He couldn't remember what he was going to say…it happened sometimes….and he hated it when it happened.
"Are you alright?" asked Miss Suzuki
"Yes…I just…loss my train of thought." Said Serizawa
"That's ok, I can help you catch it again. I don't mind. I like helping my friends…and I'm happy to be able to at least help one of my friends…sorry. That's from…from…I just Miss Minegishi. It's just like…sometime I feel like I'm stuck, you know? Like everything I do is wrong. Like with Sho…and how Mukai keeps on freaking out and crying and stuff…stuff like that. Stuff like…like how I don't know what I did to make Minegishi leave but I know that I did something wrong." Said Miss Suzuki
"No! I mean…sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. I just…I don't want you to think that you did something wrong. I'm the one who…um…never mind." Said Serizawa. He couldn't tell her about this, she was a girl, and boys did not talk to girls about this stuff…but also boys didn't talk to girls end of discussion. Boys and girls were not friends…at least they hadn't been able to be friends when he had been a kid…Miss Suzuki's age. He wasn't that age anymore.
"Serizawa, no, don't blame yourself. I know that you didn't do anything. You hardly even talk to Minegishi. I'm the one who spends the most time with them, next to Shimazaki, but they love Shimazaki and there isn't anything that he could do that would make them stop loving him…I think. Sometimes they fight and it worries me…but I know it's my fault." Said Miss Suzuki
"Don't say that!" said Serizawa
"Why not? It's true. I saw them getting sicker and sicker, and tireder and tireder, just like my mom did…and I didn't do anything. I thought…I thought that maybe I could do something. When my mom got sick I was little, so little that I didn't even know how to take care of myself…but now I'm older. I was seven when my mom ran away…and I'm twelve now…and twelve is almost twice seven. I know. Tsuchiya taught me about doubles." Said Miss Suzuki
"Miss Suzuki…I'm glad that…that you know math and…and that you care about people. I mean…I've always loved that about you. You care so much about me and about everyone else and…and I don't want you to think that…that you had anything to do with Minegishi leaving. I mean…I know that you didn't do anything. I…did something….but I can't tell you what I did because you're a girl." Said Serizawa. Miss Suzuki turned so she was facing him completely. She was crossing her arms and looking him right in the eye…her aura was even focused on him.
He scooted away from her.
He scooted back a little bit. He wished that he could have moved back further but there was a bed behind him. He could have moved it with his powers…but he didn't have that kind of control. Not like she did…and especially not now. She was focused on him and she was frowning…and he had no idea what he had done…and he wished that he could take it back! He had to say something. He had to say something or do something…anything…because she was staring and staring and staring….
He didn't know what he would have done if…if she stared at him forever.
"M-Miss Suzuki? Are you….are you mad at me?" asked Serizawa
"No." said Miss Suzuki
"Then…then why are you staring at me? Not that I'm calling you a liar! I know that you aren't a liar! You're the nicest, kindest, most honest person that I have ever met and-" said Serizawa
"I know that you aren't calling me a liar…but we're friends. Friends don't keep secrets." Said Miss Suzuki
"But…you're a girl." Said Serizawa
"I know. That doesn't mean that you should keep secrets from me. I don't like secrets and I'm tired of people keeping them from me. Sho kept secrets….my dad kept secrets…maybe my mom even kept secrets. My whole family kept secrets from me and…and look how that went. I don't like secrets and…and I've had enough kept from me by my family. I don't need that from my friends too." Said Miss Suzuki
"I…I get it. I mean…I know how hard it was on you…knowing about what the President and your brother kept from you. I…I'm not keeping anything like that from you…a whole new person…and there's no chance of that! They only kissed me and I know that you can't get babies from kissing and-wait! Forget I said anything! Just…um…do you want to play Minecraft? Or we could play Animal Crossing or…or we could play-" said Serizawa, his eyes darting around the room. Maybe if they did something, anything, besides talk then they would forget what they had been talking about…right? That was how it worked…right?
No, no it was not.
"Did you just say….that you…kissed Minegishi? I mean…that's…that's…what!?" asked Miss Suzuki. The bed jumped up and hit the wall. There was some banging on the other side…apparently the hamsters were trying to sleep…which meant that Sho was trying to sleep…which meant that not only had he blown the secret…if it even was a secret…he had woken up Miss Suzuki's little brother!
He was the worst friend in the world.
"I-I-I…" said Miss Suzuki. Serizawa hung his head low and nodded. He knew that…well that he shouldn't have…well he hadn't known at the time that he shouldn't have kissed them…but now he knew that it was…not good. Miss Suzuki shipped Shimazaki and Minegishi. Serizawa had always thought that shipping was for games and movies and anime and stuff. He had never even thought about shipping people…but that was something that you could do. That was something that Miss Suzuki did…and she was right to do it. Shimazaki loved Minegishi…
…and Serizawa had come between the two of them.
She was upset. She was upset with him and now she would never want to be his friend. She would never speak to him again or play with him again or even…or even hang out with him while she brushed the sand out of her hair because there wasn't any room in her room because of her brother and his pets. She would rather be in that tiny room than with him…and he knew that he'd end up back in a tiny room…back in his tiny room…if he didn't make up with her…if he didn't make this right.
He had to make this right…before it went even more wrong!
"I'm sorry! They just…they kissed me and I hadn't even thought that they liked me that much let alone…liked me liked me. Liked me enough to kiss me. I just…please don't be mad at me!" said Serizawa. If they hadn't been sitting down then he would have gotten down into a kowtow. She was staring at him…and he couldn't even read her colors. There were just so many of them….well only two…but there was so much there and…
And he had really f-worded up, now hadn't he?
"Serizawa….are you telling me that Minegishi…my best friend Minegishi Toshiki…kissed you? For real? On the mouth? Like how people kiss…when they want to…be boyfriend and theyfriend with someone?" asked Miss Suzuki
"I-I…I don't think that they want to be with me. I don't even know why they kissed me! They just did it and…and….and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry and if I had enough room I would kowtow but there isn't so I'm just going to say sorry." said Serizawa. Miss Suzuki's colors, her aura, stopped. They stopped and her face…her face got really still. She was staring at him…blankly. Like she was trying as hard as she could do be blank…like she was trying to be a doll or something.
He had no idea what he was supposed to make of this.
"Serizawa…I'm not mad at you. If someone wants to kiss you then it's polite to kiss them back…I think. I don't know….I can't think about that right now. I just…I think that we should go back to Japan….very soon. Yeah…yes. That's what's going to happen…alright?" asked Miss Suzuki. He had no idea why she was asking him. She was the one who decided where they went and what they did…but he was still happy that she just…well she wasn't mad at him…even though he'd kissed her best friend she wasn't mad at him anymore….and she never had been.
She really was the best friend that he would ever have.
"That's…that's alright…that's…um…that's alright." Said Serizawa. She wasn't brushing her hair anymore, no, even though…well she had been happier when she had been doing that. Not happy-happy, no, just happy…hapy-ish. Happier than she had been in the five minutes or seconds or however long that they had been talking about this. He wished that he could have turned back time to before he even said anything…but he couldn't turn back time. He could go to the other side of the world…which was a lot. Enough, enough for him. He couldn't turn back time…but at least maybe if they went back to Japan then they could put everything that had been said in this room behind him.
It would be easy, maybe, or maybe not….nothing ever was for him.